Bad Jokes (STW - Lesson #470 - Video Supplement)

[PaperclipBadger]

I have a most excellent joke about a tramp that takes at least twenty minutes to tell if you want to hear it...

[kitabazar]

Oh dear. Fabulous story. Tears everywhere.

[Xetian91]

Wham... POW!!!

[loloplololololrofl]

...(starts slow clap)...

[lissyemmy]

That was possibly the worst joke ever. And yet, I can't stop chuckling...

[0gracefulgirl0]

I tried to tell this joke to my boyfriend and failed. No one can do it like you Dante.

[Didgets85]

Woah Dolphin!!

[KayRubin]

if you come speak at fgcu it would make my life o.O

[KinderDerHoffnung]

You... have a voice? :0

[LizzxVampyrexAngel]

@KinderDerHoffnung

Oh my god that was my first thought too! O.O

[hlaksjdfhlkjadfh]

@KinderDerHoffnung freaked me out.



[DiabolicalGenius39]

So in 4 minutes the vlogbrothers can tell 51 jokes, but in 4 minutes you can only do one? I find this amusing. :D

Also, awesome animal impressions.

[greenospreyphish]

Oh youre so much nerdier than I was expecting. I dont know why...I should have expected for all the nerdy references in your comic. And this is soo awkward. I love you.

[MartinTraXAA]

I'd expect you to have more of a ''Mad scientist''-voice.

[greenospreyphish]

@MartinTraXAA I was just expecting him to be Ryan from The Office.

[WereSmrterThanYou]

Hmm, remember Lesson #862, anyone?

[sdhu]

I have to say though, it is refreshing to hear your voice after staring at the blackboard for the last 470 comics :P

[sdhu]

HAAAA! Haaaaaaa Hahaha! I get it! LOL Four Minutes and eight seconds to be exact! xD

[monkeyboyps21]

does random chuckling count as laughter?

I am going to have to remember this one for later......

[Organdonator]

You Sir, are welcome to Sweden!

[leckerwurstbrot]

There are certain jokes where you can see the punchline a mile away, and you still almost cry with laughter once it arrives.

This is not one of those jokes.

[RhymingMime]

Swim..... SWIM......

[melen28]

"just keep swimming"... did anyone else get a Finding Nemo reference there?

[becausedoylesaid]

@melen28 or "welcome to the Himalayas" from Monsters Inc.?

[EvanBest00]

hahahaha how many campfires did you tell this at? Ah Boy Scouts and their re-occurring jokes

[Chwineka]

Is it just me, or does he kind of sound like Harold Ramis...? o_o

[ueberRegenbogen]

That joke was (Dare i say it?) lame! ;P

[Parithia]

Just pointing out. Due to "Lobs paradox," apparently the yeti does exist.

[adelaidebliss]

You, sir, are probably a very, very interesting person. I bet having a conversation with you would be a great experience.

[cymek9]

I am offended that the "related videos" are all bad jokes videos.

[tragiccookie]

That was absolutely ridiculous, and totally worth the wait for the punchline.

[The1truesushiboy]

...... I think I hate you now............ Okay, no I don't but that was the worst joke I've ever heard. EVER!

[Inoka01]

@The1truesushiboy

Did you watch through the whole video?

[The1truesushiboy]

@Inoka01

Of course.

[Inoka01]

@The1truesushiboy

Mission accomplished.

[silverdragon120688]

The dolphin impression makes me entertained. Congratulations.

[faytisurdstny]

I dont get it.

[KyomiHaru]

The animal impersonations make me smile :)

[WonderlandGirl457]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA­HHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[jmmlmsabc]

if this was an actual conversation the guy telling the story would be smacking, and jabbing, and poking the other guy to the point where he would just be like "OMG QUIT IT!" *pig outa nowhere*

[surrealrei]

You, my friend, have a surprisingly low voice. On the other hand, you're amazing.

[surrealrei]

You, my friend, have a surprisingly low voice.

[Rascus75]

We have been thoroughly owned here today. Dante's evaluation results show we listened for 4:08. Well friggin' done.

[eggory]

The setup was better than the punchline.

[superfluffykittyman]

Do pigs really hold such a disdain for platypus?

[bassadam2]

That was brilliant, possible my favourite bad joke. Thank you.

[fourmoyle]

*follows link from comic*

*watches video*

*M-Fing DIES!*

That is all.

[supercowgirlmanthing]

best, worst joke I've ever heard, I need to go waste someone's time with it pronto!!!

[Deveyus]

I don't get it.

[MetaRayy]

HAhahahah

I still laughed.

... the 2nd time around. It just doesn't get old. By the time you watch it a second time, you've forgotten what it was about. It's just that damn long.

[bf2025]

I think i have to kill my self now..... :-(

[vadfan123]

Craptastic! The joke that is, Dante plain rocks.§

[DamnedHoax]

A joke that bad should never take four minutes ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Doogeedoo12]

I've heard that joke before.. just... by far... not with remotely the same stories.

[Raddy13]

Terrible joke, indeed. However, I love the site, keep up the good work/jokes there.

By the way, has anyone ever told you that you sound like Harold Ramis?

[1stepklosr]

Wow...that was indeed a bad joke.

[MsLovedrunk]

HAHAHHA thats epic!

[tight384]

you're voice in this sounds like Ray Romano. haha

[marrionetta]

:58 seconds into this is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

[povabny]

I feel like a platypus inside a dolphin inside a yeti could be a really exotic, messed-up version of turducken...

[mitchblahman13]

@povabny yedolypus?

[1313monkey13]

funny

[srahrahh]

You're awesome.

[ReloadPsi]

That shrug at the end is like an instant transformation back into Professor Shepherd. Cracks me up every time.

[Tellmeimaninja]

The entire delivery of the joke was hilarious, but the punchline itself was just plain stupid.

And by stupid I mean awesome.

[iheartemmalina]

I know nothing about what each individual state accent sounds like, but I don't think I was expecting the godly Dante to sound like that. Still hawtness though =3 Yeah I know, wife and such.

[tellallyourfriends77]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Epic win.

[sakilaris]

hows that even a punchline?, ive heard bad jokes before, and i actually kinda like them but they all had a punchline or a hint of a joke like "a man walks into a bar, ouch" its horrible but i can still laugh at it, this one was just confusing.

[misshermione92]

well it was a regular pig, but he ate one of the legs (hence not eating him all at once)

[Alesalad]

lol...

[Krokador]

Dude that was pretty awesome for a bad joke. Entertaining just like your comic! Now to go back on catching up on it since I haven't been a reader for that long ^^

[AyumiLovesYaoi]

lawl lawl lawl....

I wonder what yeti tastes like... *ponders*

[ezekielvamp]

I love your various animal impressions! :D

[malykine]

Actually, I don't really know what the other comment-posters were expecting, Professor Shepherd. You sound exactly like I expected you to.

Also, my friend is recording your "WHOAAAA!" for us to use as an SMS alert.

[quiltcocoon]

i'm glad there's someone out there with a sense of humor as sick as mine XD

[TheOneBeyondTheVeil]

Wow, that's epic. A bit long-winded, but epic.

[Epsilon3311]

4 minutes, 8 seconds. Bravo.

[eljhm]

hahahahahaha epic!

[mmbillman89]

WOH! BAM! I want to eat that pig! It sounds DELICIOUS.

[Nanabobo]

Holy crap, you sound exactly like how I imagined you do!

[mowque]

Ouch. You don't sound like I expected though.

[juliettelenvers]

Wow, that was a great way to waste 4 minutes of my life, lol. Loved the platypus.

[Hiramarth]

seriously, your voice was not what i expected. but once i got to decipher the accent (i'm not an english speaker), it was a good joke

[juglugs]

I've heard a variation on the theme, but it's still a great time-wasting joke...

[totosushi]

I really like the "See? I told you so." look at the end of the video.

[Kieshaleigh]

LMAO! and he just walks off the screen

[newbreedzero]

holy sweet jesus.

[konami55321]

wow, you sound DRAMATICALLY different than what I thought you would sound like

[rivkapaffgen]

please please please do stand up. That platypus impression made my day.

[SurvivingTheWorld101]

Hell, I'll gladly do a speaking tour once anyone invites me anywhere. The talk/humor would be entitled "The Use of Rhetoric to Obscure a Lack of Content".

[rivkapaffgen]

Okay, once I become in charge of something important, you can come to California to bless us with your Rhetoric.

[Depo007]

I recall reading that title from an Animorphs book as a title of one of Marco's papers. Not sure if that's the source, but hey.

[SurvivingTheWorld101]

Well done. Nice memory.

[Depo007]

:) Glad you've read them as well.

[SamTheStrangeOne]

You stole.. four minutes and eight seconds from my life. I either want it back or some of that delicious tasty Platypus/Dolphin/Yeti and Pig

[sadroses2]

@SurvivingTheWorld101 Aaaand I just saw this comment.

[Zeekerpow]

@Depo007 Wow, I haven't heard an Animorphs reference in ages.

[sadroses2]

@SurvivingTheWorld101 Did you mean the use of total bull? Or is this not an Animorphs refference?

[MECKeyes]

@rivkapaffgen I read this comment before I actually watched the video, and it made my day.

[inkiw]

Dude that platypus impression was amazing.

[troll5494164]

i laughed

it was totally worth watching this instead of doing homework :)

[genpollux]

More than happy I just wasted those four minutes XD

[foozlesprite]

Hilarious! You should have added a velociraptor segment to it though.

[LinTwit]

I love your dolphin and duck billed platypus impersonation :3

[OMGWTFJP]

This was, absolutely, the best joke I have ever heard in my entire life! I shall tell this to everyone I know. I feel somewhat of a lower caliber for having to listen to the end of the joke two times to get it. But this was excellent. Excellent!

[oscurotrophic]

What I love most is all of the marriage proposals.

[Randomnessensues44]

EPIC ACTING but bad joke :) Congrats on 500 STW's

[yourfavnightmare]

I love that the platypus and dolphin impersonations are pretty much the same thing.

[aomega6]

I love you.

And you sound exactly how I thought you'd sound.

[prcoy]

Congrats on the big "D".

[lyllexi09]

I feel like I can now survive the world. Thank you.

P.S. I knew you'd sound like this <3

[tubamaphone83]

That had me a little leery till the end, but it was worth it!

And Duck Billed Platypus is DELICIOUS!

Yeti is a little gamey...

[Ickthorn]

Ha, ha! Great platypus impression I heard this gag in the version where the pig is more of a lifesaver (pulling little Timmy out of the well, getting farmer out of the burning barn, etc...) than an exotic deli forager, but I reckon your platypus/dolphin/yeti version may be even better...

Those who aren't "getting it" the pig has only three legs, guys...

[binary010love]

...I'm trying to convince myself that the platypus impersonation is worth the four minutes of my life that ate...

[swordmaster4323]

Awesome! !e need more video supplements in the future.

[tabaqo1337]

Lovely vid, I love STW, keep it up :D

[h10134g]

Bahahahaha LOL! ROFL!

[Ikeue]

...

I hate you

[bigfatcone]

Awesome dude! You don't sound anything like I thought you would but who gives a duck billed platypus's? Cheers mate!

[nonexistantme]

All of these things are indeed delicious... :) This made me smile

[FolksyRedbeard]

made my night!

[danance]

Thanks for stealing 4 minutes of my life that I will never get back. ... Totally worth it!

[bfevans19]

I love how your dolphin impression is exactly the same as your duck billed platypus impression, but with noises.

[tiredalarmclock]

LOL

The platypus motions... oh dear.

I thought the joke was funny.

[Nazgrol]

0:58 1:03 1:08 1:13 2:05 2:09 2:14 2:18

[lovelydarkness333]

So basically the guy's just quite the carnivore. And a jerk.  Poor pig. Got no respect for saven' that guy. MAN!

[Paycheck125]

Hah. You have an awesome voice.

Great video. Keep on swimmin'

[LonesomeJojo]

I laughed every time you said "it's delicious!"- your voice and facial expression were exactly the same every time XP

[kongurous]

...Wow.

Just... wow.

[Lessons4You]

I didn't even know there was a youtube channel, and i've been on that site for awhile? Somewhere...i must of missed something.

500! Wow! Congrats. STW! It....PWNS!11!!!

I think i did that right.

[Lessons4You]

After actually watching the video...I'm kind of scared.

[SiriusUnrelated]

Most impressive.

[Froggity]

That is one bad joke.

[gigigirl281]

The longest bad joke I've ever heard was the "I'm a pawn again, Christian!" one. I laughed at it.

I laughed harder at this. XD

[avaholic17]

congrats on making it to 500! I love STW :)

[trickyfeet]

WAM! POW! haha

[sgmkglzn]

Good job, man. Keep them coming!

[IANofTARDIS]

*speechless*

[TaskeHimara]

Dante congrats on 500 man... its been a long time coming

[scottieseattle]

Congrats on 500 comics Dante! FYI that was the longest (and most original) version of the 3-legged pig story I have ever heard... so um, congrats on that too?

[njmacriley]

HAhahahahahaha!

[Limelon]

I loved your duck billed platypus impression.

[dryfoo]

Omigod! Did you warn that joke before you mugged it, knocked it down, and kicked it to death?

[commonergirl]

This joke is so going to get told by me today.

[plu48]

Beautiful.

[razorman450]

Best. Joke. Ever.

[radicaledward101]

Most excellent!

[velocityoftime]

Oh my god. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

[SpiderLuigiMan]

LMFAO that was amazing XD

[antariantos]

Oh yeah, that was great!

[Yadarfyn]

Dante. Marry me.

That was hilarious. :D

[Telkanis]

Oh Dante... there goes four minutes of my life. :|

[boundinthe80s]

This little skit reminds me of Albuquerque by Weird Al. Same type of humor, I love it. Good job. :D

[atldjrob]

Ugh. I think i'm gonna use that joke today.

[kickthehack]

didnt get it or is this one of those you laugh at the people you tell the joke too?

[mugme18]

no idea... but I think he for sure "won" this joke by taking up more than 5 minutes of my time instead of by making me laugh with the punchline. the joke itself was funny but I did not get the punchline at all

[kmac0]

This is ridiculous Dante

[adriloa85]

ooooohhhh noooooo!!! hahahahaha... funny!

[WaitByMoonlight]

This is most excellent. :D

[amesville]

I laughed! But I love me a good bad joke.

[WilBiddle42]

What if they laughed AND you took 4 minutes and 8 seconds away from them? Thank You for this!!

[Senae]

well, I think the key to making a bad joke good is stretch it out to the point of absurdity.

[Sorcyress]

I'm a little ashamed I laughed. And that was *awesome* And felt like watching a one-man girl scout skit.

~Sor

[lkoepp]

This made me laugh right before my midterm, thus making me less nervous. I love STW! :)

[darkness923]

Brilliant stuff, great supplemental video.

[Blondielass]

i very much loved this. <3

[spenserad]

you ever have noro-virus....its delicious!

[Kinkatia]

Congratulations! You've made me crack up laughing first thing in the morning, and thus helped me get my Monday off to a good start.

[omfgitsasalmon]

Oh my dante ~♪

[Kirrindead]

Aw hell. I see where this is going...

[Kirrindead]

And I was right.