Stuff Religious People Say

[MaloneyGuitars]

Ha Ha LOL

Name it and claim it; blab it and grab it.

God ain't no slot machine; He's my ATM machine.

God ain't no Easter bunny; He's my Santa Clause.

Here's my claiming list, Santa. Thank you for bringing my stuff right away.

I gave 10% of all my sheep to the reverend; It says in the bible: the pastor gets to spend all my money whether I can afford it or not. Otherwise the devil's gonna devour me. Malachi 3 Reverend says this is the one Moses law that isn't covered by grace or the blood.

[Himechou1]

Girl !!! Thank YOU!

[dior1006]

What about these cliches?... "God helps those who help themselves" or "If you make one step, the Lord will make two steps"......no biblical back-up at all!

[Slicearoni]

U should do a part 2 as there are quite a few that you could have gotten in like the fake shout!!

[Slicearoni]

I'm gon hurt you for this one....lmao!!! Shalom Beloved!!!!

[IrisnJoe]

This was outstanding. For the haters that want to throw "God is not mocked" scriptures onto this lady for posting this, enjoy being the elitist that you are!

[MsKAnntionette]

BWWAAAAAGGGGGHH HA HA HA HA AHA HAA *cough-cough* BWAAAAAGGGHHHH snicker snicker

[dantej32]

This was good. I like the speaking in tongues

[MsNDS76]

Gurl you crazy!! But the stuff you say is so true. I watched this video like 15 times. LOL

[Srkim2010]

LMBO. This is just too funny. Thanks for the upload.

[hbazley3]

I miss you TorahCents

[SonofJudah103]

LOL

You funny!!!!!

[PatriciaMcAll]

Don't mock God's word young lady You need praying for.

Galatians 6:7

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Jude 1:18

How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.

[PatriciaMcAll]

The devil is a liar. God is going to show-up and show-out.

[ladydi748]

Thank you for this video. I found this on a friend's FB page and I'm in tears right now because it is too funny. When I hear people say things like this, it's scary because their eyes glaze over and it sound so scripted and cultish. There is no sincerity in the words. Hysterical. Kudos!

[Faithandlove113]

"pray for me church" lol

[ShinIsTrue]

HAHAHAHAHHA wow on point!!!

[studiousangel]

HAHA...I feel you girl!

[JeffATL]

HilARIOUS! Love it! ;D

**two thumbs up**

[KwuNorthstar]

how true lol OM Goodness 

[Shouxiao]

Many people say these cliches but don't read the book. Judge not lest you be judge. The thing is it is referring to judging in hypocrisy. Your opinion about things and people is a way of judging. You judge everything in your life.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. The law says the man and woman that commits adultery gets stone. Those guys only provided the woman, but not the man. Those guys were having sex with that whore so they would have to be stone themselves.

[dezinediva]

I would be upset cus MY MAMA says this mess like she reading a script, but she still lost yall! Hilarious and clearly the truth. You shoulda said, SOW A SEED AND REAP A BLESSING!

[JuditeTormentor]

LMBO!!!! That ending was CAPITAL!!!!!!!

[takitheterrible]

The "touch not" is soooo true. TIRED OF SEEING IT ON EVERY YOUTUBE VIDEO. The tongues is true; it's a filler like "ummm" or "uhhhh." Prayer veil/face towel was cracking me up

[ashmikeyjat]

Man down.. Nuff said lol!!!

[ashmikeyjat]

Man down...Nuff said!!

[ashmikeyjat]

Nuff said...man down lol!!!

[licialicous]

lmao omg.. still makes me laugh so hard

[Emerald1269]

Girl!!! You hit the nail dead straight with the hammer. LMBO

[NWOConspiracyGroup]

This video and the others are accurate to the dot. I'm so pleased to see the truth going out to the lost sheep.

[ibyl]

Hilarious! I was crying laughing so hard. I have met everyone that you had in your video.

[velvetnotes009]

I like the wigs!

[blaknmild2000]

Holy Shit! Goddam! This is one of THE funniest videos I HAVE EVER SEEN ON YOUTUBE! Good shit, Sister! I know them christian bible freak hoes is mad at you! lol.

[blackbolt75]

Girl, you crazy! LOL!

[MsKPJ]

HILARIOUS!!!! Had to watch it twice!



[hunniBear33]

LMAOOOOOO omg this is too funny girl ! u have me dying lol

[cosmeticcutie]

OMG! Girl this just tickled the heak at of me. I hope I did not wake anybody up. Hilarious!

[VeronicasPlace]

lmao. u funny as hell.

oops

i mean funny as heck

[wm4bwbw4wm]

LOAO!!!!

This is too darn funny.

[licialicous]

ROFLMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO...... OMG

[jamal23227]

This video is the PERFECT description of your typical charismatic and pentecostal churches, pulpit pimps seen on TBN. (trash broadcasting network)

[1madeintheimage]

"Shabuhbuhbuhboshka shabuhbuhbuhboshka" Best line of the video! Great work, keep it up!

[elartista91]

Girl...Tell me why I keep pressing the play button...I'm suppose to be filling out an college app and I'm up here...Lord help me!!! ...Seriously...loool.

[L0veDancin]

I do admit this is funny but as you say these are "church folks", not men and women of God but people playing church. However try not to paint a big picture on our churches. I reply that im blessed when people ask how i am because i am blessed. Also speaking in tongue doesnt make you a "church folk" like many have said its a spiritual gift. A lot you have said is funny and true =) I love that you back your stuff with verses not many can do that. Stay blessed girl

[BIGBOSSandTHEDOLL]

LOL

You got them down!!!!!!!!!!

[PrincessDrRe]

You are on point...and the reason folks are mad is because you steppin' on toes! Be Blessed in your ministry!!!

[dickens509]

@2823peyton well i know the bible describes it as an unknown language and that it can't be learned as you would learn french or spanish...it is a gift from the Holy Spirit

[RebelAllianceMedia]

HAHAH ah man ok ok im subbing,my bad sis,this is markzman from The R.A.M. btw,i hear you.GREAT VID!

[Jeffrizel1986]

Those 9 dislikes are those people in this video LMFAO!

[LifeLibertyLove]

TorahCents I bet if you had the opportunity to you would put all accused rapists and murderers to death.

[dickens509]

I think you went too far on this with making fun of tongues cuz thats actually one of the 7 spiritual gifts

[xdst84]

8 people mad cuz u called'em out

[realmanallen73]

Yo! When you get a chance, add me on your facebook!

username= RealMan Allen

I'm also on twitter: RealManAllen73

[iroc31407]

lol. i got one... "pray about it" lol

[Refining1]

@TorahCents Sister, I can ttell you have been in church al of your life, because you have these cliche's down pat. I can't do nothing but laugh because I've been in church all my life too.

[Jarreau24]

oy yes I found someone else on here telling the truth, awesome video this is what goes on all the time!! stay bless, JT

[micpeee]

8 PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE GOING TO HELL !! LMBAO

[JiaIreland]

LMAO This is so true!!!

[MsJoy4ever]

you got me cracking up over here, I have to sub to ya =)

[nappyg1]

They hate you for making them look like fools . . which they are lmao

[terrelya83]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[shaylamcbride24]

shabababa boshska......too funny ....oh my....to true though

[DirtyMoney410]

lmao the blue outfit cliche' had me dying lol thats church folk for real

[OMONEY09]

Why I knew all those saying was coming out your mouth lol heard them all the way you said them

[SoundzOutTheBox1]

lolololol

[buddhastrike]

Very funny! I have witnessed all of that behavior- including the "speaking in tongues"! Wow!

[GoddessIsIs999]

Michael Jackson Song: Man in the Mirror. Make that change.

I say woman and man in the mirror (intuitively) make that Divine right change.

[GoddessIsIs999]

All Critical thinkers post this video on FACEBOOK. Thanks @ChrisMccullers

[GoddessIsIs999]

I bow, salute, and thank this sister on this video for revealing the buffoonery', chameleons, ilk’s...and the likes of in religious churches. That is how we get to know what is real truth/reality by revealing the ignorance we doing. Dr. Phil Valentine. Christianity is CRACK, and Religion is the PIPE. I add all religions are WHACK CRACK, and the PIPE.

[GoddessIsIs999]

Lemme find out you done pissed folk off with this video. I, however, thought it was funny!-- If any are pissed off by this video, know that the devil (within) cannot stand the real Truth/reality. Know that truth is a treason to lies. Know that condemnation without investigation, is the ultimate ignorance. Know that when we are not aware of the Divine Truth/Reality, lies will appear as truth. Know that a fool can fool another fool, but those wise among us can see them both.

[rabbiyochanan]

Hard to say I "like" it... but it certainly makes a point.

[freerayhn]

She forgot "Imma tell what god love"....lol

[YhwhKhai]

hahahahahahaha thanks for the gut-wrenching laugh. This is freakin' hilarious lol

This sad but so true. I don't even say none of them cliches. I'm tired of asking folks, "How are you doing?" All hell breaking loose around them and they reply, "Blessed." To me that's not an answer. Sometimes it's folks way of getting you to back off but they don't want to tell you.

Btw, one of my Facebook friends has one of your videos on her page. It was hilarious :)

[TorahCents]

@YhwhKhai LOL!! Thanks for watching. :)

[TorahCents]

@moonlitedance44 LMBO!...I need the wigs to look different. :)

[TOMMYANDMOMMY]

Love it sis!! I will keep posting this one on my fb page!

[TOMMYANDMOMMY]

Love it sis!! I will keep posting this one on my fb page!

[TorahCents]

@TOMMYANDMOMMY Go right ahead sis. :)

[naturalangel7]

LOL, this was so funny, you got it exactly right sis! shalom!

[kookoo78]

Now this video was actually accurate

[74Malakah]

Shalom Sis!! You said exactly what they say all the time!! Instead of teaching to follow the commandments of the Most High!! Shalom!!

[willquestion]

Shmamama Noosshhka!  haha

[whoissugar]

Lemme find out you done pissed folk off with this video. I, however, thought it was funny!

[TorahCents]

@whoissugar LOL... yeah they gettin mad...had no idea I was already subscribed to you..thanks for watching girl. :)

[MrJohnnyBeGoode]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFL!!!!!!! yoooo...I cannot breathe!!! oh my goodness,you had me spinning around in my chair laughing soo hard,I could not contain myself...Lawd have mercy,but this was sooo true,thats why I was laughing so hard.!!! I cheer on the gift God has placed inside of you..Man I had a good laugh,oh my gosh this was so funny!

[TorahCents]

@MrJohnnyBeGoode LMBO...don't break the chair! many blessings to you. :)

[TheoMessenger]

I am blessed and highly favored, shimm, aah shimaboscha!

[TorahCents]

@TheoMessenger Ecoli Adios Amigos!!! lol

[L3FTFI3LDTV]

Clearly if people read...you description says "MY DRAMAZITATION". People reading is fundamental...

[destani214]

This is hilarious! some people need to stop being so deep cause they are about to drown! LAUGH PEOPLE!!!

[L3FTFI3LDTV]

@destani214 I so agree...I posted Torahcents's Vid on my FB page and wow.LOL It's bad to start up to a debate with no biblical basis. But what's worse when you start a debate on somebody elses page and lose.LOL!! Oh I'm so weak right now!!

[sarahdarnell]

I understand where your commin from I realy do- and it is quite comical- however must we always edify sis. Ephesians 4:29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

maybe add a nice excerpt at the end explaining teh follishness of these clechis shalom

[TorahCents]

@sarahdarnell - Hey sis! Thanks for watching...but to address your concern. What about the way that I communicated in this video was corrupt? The definition of edification is as follows: enlightening or uplifting so as to encourage intellectual or moral improvement...Many others have watched this and Thanked God that they were pulled this foolishness...Some have even saw themselves in this video and repented.....if you don't call that edifying...I don't know what is sis.

[TorahCents]

@sarahdarnell I would also like to add that Nehemiah pulled out folks hair for their unrighteousness (Neh 13:25), the Messiah turned over tables on folks in the temple (Matt 21:12), and Paul called the Galatians foolish (Gal 3:1)...would you say my satirical video was more or less edifying than those things?

[sarahdarnell]

@TorahCents no i didnt think your video was corrupt- i was speaking to teh edification part. Praise Ahayah is someone saw this video and repented. I guess I just didnt see the diffrence in this and secular comidans who make fun of these cliches as well. Im not trying to bring you down sis. Thanks for teh clarification. shalom

[BarbarianLion]

@TorahCents  Yes people seem to not understand that there is also punish and discipline for ungody behavior.

[esauwilldie1]

YOU ARE A NUTTTT!!!!!!!! Funny stuff sis

[TorahCents]

@esauwilldie1 - Oh yeah. lol...big nut

[gredly2]

She said Amigos.... lol

[L3FTFI3LDTV]

Somethings just aren't debate material.lol Deep people don't need shovels...their mouths dig the hole for them.LOL SMH<------- I appreciate ya talents sis

[TorahCents]

@L3FTFI3LDTV - LOL! Thank you sir. I appreciate you. :)

[KWhamm]

I will pray for you!

I admit some of the things are nowhere in the word of God.

like God's gonna show up & show out that is a bunch of mess, or I am too blessed to be stressed. But a lot of things you mentioned are in the word of God & you Mocked his word not the people who you have heard say it.

Yes I will pray for you FOR YOU NEED PRAYER!!!

[MrTronik88]

@KWhamm Kenneth if anybody needs prayer it's you. LOL!!!

[TorahCents]

@MrTronik88 LOL!

[TorahCents]

@KWhamm Hey...thanks for watching, but I have a question. when did you ever hear or see that I said that these things were not mentioned in the word of God? Please read the description in the description box. Some of these says are misused by people. ex: Touch not God's annointed..to defend Eddie long. Some of them are Misused ex: Judge not, in defense of people who don't like correction. And some are abused ex: God is good all the time...folks just say it so much they dont really mean it.

[TorahCents]

@KWhamm - and yes I do need prayer...but not for this video. Pray for me please. thanks . :)

[L3FTFI3LDTV]

This is Ron from FB...Just had to add you real quick. I am in tears right now. You speak truth with Comedy!! you are somethin serious!!

[TorahCents]

@L3FTFI3LDTV - Hey Ron!! Thanks for coming to check me out. So glad I could make you laugh. lol

[mssquirrely]

OhhhhhhHeckyNawwww!! Funnnnny! and Oh so true!

[TorahCents]

@mssquirrely OhhhhhhHeckyNawwww?? LOL!! I like that one. lol

[MsNyheim]

wow i loved it. the wigs really...lol

[TorahCents]

@MsNyheim - The wigs make the characters come to life. lol So glad you enjoyed.

[NoCutCard612]

LOL! Spot on!

[PsalmsNmyrrh]

LOL exactly right....... all of those are the typical sayings of these fake holy sanctified phonies

[realmanallen73]

LOL!

This is one of the funniest videos on youtube! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[TorahCents]

@realmanallen73 OH no problem...so glad you enjoye. :)

[remeyboy70]

OK, that does it...

I''m subscribing!!!!

[exreligious]

Can some one make this into DJ hip hop style? This can b funny as hell

[TorahCents]

@exreligious lol...you know you right..I would be up there with Antoine Dobsen. lol

[OverlyExcitedNewJack]

my favorite part was the "shubbawubbawowshka! shubbawubbawowshka!!"

[jessejay777]

@OverlyExcitedNewJack they were all good, but that was my favorite also!

[MinisterQuietBuck]

@DownChick22: idiots? Hebrews 12:14. Good cause it makes my chances... John 15:13.

[TorahCents]

@DownChick22 Girl that is awesome! Big ups to you!

[Marianspeace]

LMBO this video is hilarious!!!

[cjjaxxon]

Yessirrr!! LOL.

[sheteak]

Lol! Soooooo true!!! These church people are disgusting!!

[cqgmickey]

LOL AAAAAMEEEEN!

[OrbitalAngel]

ROFL!!

[Benyazem]

so true and so funny. i luv it. good work!

[MeekInWisdom]

I fell out of my chair laughin' at this one! Girl you need to be on comic view Good one!

[ChrisMccullers]

THIS IS GOING ON FACEBOOK MAYBE SOME OF THESE RELIOGION DEMONS CAN SEE WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE IN THE MIRROR! LOL

[perfectochico]

@ChrisMccullers This is definitely going on Facebook!!!

[ChrisMccullers]

I HAD TO WATCH THIS A FEW TIMES....TYLER PERRY BETTER WACH OUT!...YALL PRAY FOR ME!!!!....LMBO!

[TheKashinshi]

This is funny LoL

[hackneybeast]

That was one funny video!

[blakmannn1]

My goodness LOL

[AmarTheNazarene]

ROTF LMBO

[gdasgj]

Lmbo....

[judahlady]

Ahhhh lolol, right on sister! I am so glad i am no longer attending southern baptist church! All Praises to the Most High. those chuch folk love to talk like that FAKE BASTARDS

[kadiyah1928]

Dis is too funny and real, i kno i saw a couple of my relatives n them cliches...lol

[1TWENTYONLOC]

ROFL!!!! Truth!!



[trdxsd2010]

LOL LOL.....this is hilarious!!! so true

[nomyaw]

THERE MANY MORE AND I CANT STAND THEM. WHEN I POINT THEM OUT, PEOPLE REACT LIKE I TOLD THEM BUNNIES DONT LAY EGGS OR REINDEER DONT FLY .

[CreoleWun]

OH YOU MY SISTA INDEED!!!!!

[JJackeeeeee]

ANOTHER ONE IS CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS WHICH IS NOT EVEN

IN THE BIBLE..HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[nettieheartful]

I like touch not the lord's annointed that is scriptural!

[magirecords2004]

LMAO!! I'm subbing!

Shalom,

K.

[painless78]

"lean not into your own understanding".....thats a dangerous thing to tell someone.

[magirecords2004]

@painless78 Another scripture twisted by negroes.It is talking about walking in faith..in wisdom lol!

[layah2sexc]

hahahaha "filled with the holy spirit" LOL

[PhilxEulogyx]

LOL @ show out

[SPOKENFOR36]

Girl, you are not kidding..LOL!!!..I think my favorite is, "I'm saved sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost"...and "I'm going to get my suff back"...There is nothing I lost I want back..KEEEEP IT!!

Did you say, "Adios Amigos" Haaa!!............

Hilarious!

[JaelHouseProductions]

ooooh girl, girl, girl....where in the world have you been all my life, jk. You are outrageously hilarious, and full of the truth btw. Love it and looking for more!!! Blessings!

[Vivalacious]

LOL!

[tpressl7]

That is so true. How often do we use those scriptures but don't know where they are found in the bible, take them out of context, and just plain dramatize church...Good job!

Thomas P.

[strollertwinbaby]

I don't wanna comment something about religion because I do believe that religion can't bring you to heaven. But you really illustrated those misused, abused and overused religious cliches! Thank you for sharing your clip!