Next On ONN on IFC: Massive Snowstorm Leaves Thousands Without Access To Pornography

[mini1gerbel]

imagining my spanish teacher is NOT A GOOD IDEA for me

[lemans24fan]

i thought the onion did satrie... this looks like something that would be on fox news..........

[The1211deep]

anong konek ng snow storm sa porn?

[AwesomeAwkwardArnel]

I trust Onion News, even more than Fox News :P

[TheJasonDR]

@AwesomeAwkwardArnel are you a libertarian ?

[THEPANTSWEREDEAD]

Oh cool a video for a channel I don't even fucking get, thanks onion news.

[majinjared]

LOL at that dudes eyes

[dulay95]

71 people were stuck in that power outage without pornography :P

[taltigolt]

they should add this network in gta 5

[ffx95]

No porn? their doomed! XD

[APJeux]

lol at 0:08 - 0:11 at the guy on the far left. ROFLMAO

[hellhound9666]

I FUCKING ROLFED WHEN HE SAID THEY CANT WATCH PORN (was rlly not expecting that)

[rawdenashitey]

What is porn??

[weegeeshallburnyou]

@rawdenashitey New to the internet are we?

[arctictothpast1]

@rawdenashitey type it up on google kid

[rawdenashitey]

@arctictothpast1 now you have got me into trouble ):(

[arctictothpast1]

@rawdenashitey when your are 13 and starting fap off you will thank me for introducing you to porn

[Killumanatic]

great job onion for taking something that everyone liked and making it exclusive only on cable and having the network butcher the program with some blond replacing everyone else, no wonder I stopped looking for these videos months ago

[8soccer4life8]

subscribed ......search gandi bandi

[FallujaFreak]

Holy shit im just glad this isn't real =P

[LouisMusic2007]

The only reason I look at The Onion is to look and laugh at the 'DIS IZ FAKEZ!!' comments which happen to spring up on every one of their videos; I'm pretty sure it's one of the most amusing things to do on YouTube.

[SpartanKratos001]

massive shitstorm

[WavesOfTrolls]

LOL

[ddmnlm0]

haha i love that! "always on, slightly off"

[TheNewMoon333]

Oh god...my..porn...*blows head off*

[D0oMblAsT]

Those poor people.

[Pigeonification]

HAS ANYONE NOTICED THE CREEPY GUY ON THE LEFT AT 0:08 AND ON?

[IhavePCproblems]

@Pigeonification

YEAH LOL

[L0ve4Cookies]

@Pigeonification I did!

[Pigeonification]

@L0ve4Cookies I laughed so hard when I first saw him XD

[DBjorgo]

seriously, the fox news jokes are really freaking banal . Yes they are biased in their opinion segments but that's to differentiate themselves from other news networks. watch the everyday current events parts and they're just like everybody else.

[Umishiru]

@DBjorgo u mad?

[mattakudesu]

best 17 seconds of my life.

[HagazX]

I don't know what I just saw....

[stoopkid80]

I live in southern Wisconsin, I missed my porn. :(

[pikachuthesquirtle]

u guys aren't pstoing all the vids on to youtube. u guys should.

[supermanXL]

news without mercy

[mamaluigitoyou]

We all need to unsubscribe. I don't get this channel and I don't want to be subscribed to a commercial factory.

[Synergy9k]

@mamaluigitoyou "I don't understand the humor, therefore everyone should unsubscribe." How does that make sense? Also, just look at all the new videos. In what way are they a "commercial factory?"

[mamaluigitoyou]

@Synergy9k I never said i dont understand the humor lol you fucking asshole quoting me when thats not even what i said. I dont get ifc channel so i cant watch it they need to stop advertising on this channel to stuff half of us cant watch. I see they finally made a new video but it went a while without a new vid just commercials

[cassie7373]

whats ifc? what channel is it

[SMWjunkie2]

NO PORN?! (Puts gun up to head) BOOM!!!

[TheVozderazon]

lol wifes sister...

[theworddoner]

You know journalism is messed up if the onion has got competition from fox news

[DrAwesome314]

0:07 what that guy saying his line in beat with the music?

[titanx9]

Thank god that as a female I was able to visualize or I might not have been able to make it through the storm.

[Larcurmo]

I'm always prepared for the next power outage. I have stacks of Playboy and Hustlers stashed away just incase and I have the fantasys with the wife's sister all lined up ready to go.

[Bioshock1451]

I watched this episode like 2 nights ago that was hiliarious they were freaking out because snow was about to hit Louisana lol they dont want to be to late like hurricane katrina and the BP oil spill XD ROFL

[flyingmagiccarpet]

No access to pornography? If Obama supposedly did so bad with the economics, this will finish the U.S. entirely! Republicans to the RESCUE!!!!!

[MrRedskins0021]

@flyingmagiccarpet Actually the economy is doing better, but people are idiots cause it will not recover until 3 or 4 years. Thats thanks to your republicans that fucked it up in the first place.

[flyingmagiccarpet]

@ MrRedskins0021:

True. Republicans fucked up the United States REAL good. But as soon as the masses are hooked up to pornography again, they will surely forget about REAL quick. I heard that already now, around 47% of Americans think that G.W. Bush was´nt that bad a President after all. I lack words to say how insane that is.

[33dgtp]

This actually happened///

[TheLivesexgirls]

please can gale force do the weather on the onion?

[TheLivesexgirls]

love it

[MrPrez101]

press Ctrl-W for the best internet secret ever

[AstralSandwich]

@MrPrez101 Press Alt+F4; it speeds up your game!

[nexongamers]

@MrPrez101 Ctrl-F4

[Unguidedone]

@MrPrez101 why would i want to close my window? i still got all these pictures to save.....

[nativesun]

I'm imagining that brunette on the speaker's right! - she works for me.

[Armand845]

0:08 Guy on left is imagining his Sister, or Spanish teacher.

[moeali777]

hahahaa lmfao

[MrZakizakaria]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaahahahahahaha

[Techible]

xDD

[MaddJP]

go to a topless bar and then go bang an ugly friend, it's more productive

[BillyChaka]

1337 likes. 

[fairtester]

fap

[Kinkoyaburi]

don't fap when it is to snowy outside you'll become snow-blind

[RemFarner]

@shawnwoolsey117

All I can say to this is HAHAHAHAHA - so true.

[mattakudesu]

@shawnwoolsey117 well the only difference between the two is that the onions information is way more reliable

[sgtslayer92]

@shawnwoolsey117 That's ridicules!! The Onion is way more believable than Fox! 

[binkten]

I am an actual real housecat. After I take a bong-hit I SWEAR I can type in English for about 60 secmeow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

[LapisGarter]

Why would you move to TV? TV is dead. I watch everything on the internet now. I don't even own a TV.

[TeamIzlude]

Snowlocaust sounds like we're gassing the Inuit

[KINGGREATESTROCKSTAR]

MOST ENJOY YOUR CHANNEL.....(:

[wangtang32000]

lawlocaust...

[Sei1863]

Snowlocaust...

[JohnThe0WN3R]

Fap folder?

More like fap drive.

[CognitoSlim]

I'm in that area north of Madison! Dammit!

[HostileNegotiator]

Journalists better do your homework or the Onion will bite you.

[Robotman6781]

LMAO

[EpicFailGirl]

It's a shame when this stuff happens, since it cuts off a lot of viewers.

[radulica]

Since onion's moved to TV they're giving us only short vids. I hate it. Would've loved the real, extended news of this vid.

[icepickmeetstemple]

@radulica

I expect people will be unsubscribing in droves. If it keeps up, I know I will.

[TheOrovin]

@radulica HolySh*t, full version found at theonion.com

[eagles980]

@radulica Not to mention their other segments like 'In The Know' and 'Today Now' are MIA.

[SamFisherCell]

luckily, I have downloaded some porn. phew.

[jardidge]

i'm set ;)

[sovest555]

I watched the ONN with my friend and family and we all rofl'd...

[XeoTerminus]

Can't believe I'm subscribed to commercials now.

[ZenoxDemin]

@XeoTerminus i can't belive im still subscribed to failblog

[sylvur]

i hope the storm doesn't hit canada anytime soon, I was just about to go fap right after I'm done checking what's up on Onion News!

[MrAlekz]

lmao wisconsin

at least i live in northern wisconsin so im good

[reodk]

Oh no!

[Shampy]

oh god I HAVE NO BACKUP!! I JUST WATCH YOUPORN LOL

[URB4NR3CON]

I think Americans will know how to weather storm.

[raptorsfanboy]

sports illustrated swimsuit edition in my room

[KINGGREATESTROCKSTAR]

ROBERT'S MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR IS HERE!!!!!......(:

[Hyper92793]

I'm glad i don't live there

[analyzingfunny]

Alright, dickheads, I'll have to STEAL IFC now, are you happy?

[airfoemoe]

@analyzingfunny Trust me there is no real need to. They upload all the funny clips a day after they air on this channel anyway.

[elviolette]

I have DirecTv. IFC, what is that, channel 10,000?



[TheChum12]

They'll be fine if they give their snow angels boobs...

[a7x4thebroken]

:) lol

[b0h3ma]

Remember you can always feed on scraps and flick through lingerie catalogs.

[xShounenx]

This surely would have been a good video if it was a lot longer. Still good anyways XD

[cubsoxred]

haha Wisconsin

[littleboblives]

i got some VHS tapes if i had to deal with that problem

[0LoveSong0]

Lol

[Amsfunnyguy721]

The dude on the left must be traumatized w/o his porn!

[michaelpoczynek]

That's why you should always keep a local backup copy on your hard disk.

[pnroyal]

So did they quit doing actual videos on YouTube because they got some deal with the IFC channel? For one thing, its the IFC, less freaking people are going to see your content there than on here! C'mon Man!

[bjam89]

@pnroyal no they have already showed episode 1 and they still upload on youtube, tho you get more from the episodes

[MrPaulAlcantara]

i use the internet to monitor my children while they are sleeping

[ForceRecon198]

THE HORROR!!!!!!! Oh gawd the HUMAN1TY!

[melonlord14]

its the apocalypse!!!!!! >0<

[Sceptile17]

OH MY GOD THOSE POOR PEOPLE!!!!!!

[tomyo669]

Holy shit

[SuperSmexyBeast]

i miss the old videos.....

[TheWizard108]

haha

[nrd1995]

SLIME TIME LIVE!!!

[Graffight]

lol!

[CB4toJO]

I think everyone has a fap folder for backup just in case if the internet is fucking up. We're all set.

[OehrGmbH]

@CB4toJO egypt is living proof

[haxxoromg]

@CB4toJO ya emergency supply of porn is like a zombie plan: everyone has at least one

[Mcheetah]

@CB4toJO

Mine is 10 GB!

[ZenoxDemin]

@Mcheetah only?

[jackanoryjames]

@Mcheetah 10Gb..!?

Mine's 1020mb in-case Obama tries to cut the internet with his so called "Kill Switch"...

[freezo1994]

@CB4toJO

some people have no clue how true your comment is

[theking1175]

@CB4toJO amen to that!

[Blacckkfire]

@CB4toJO I have to use my neighbors :/

[lxXRazorXxl]

@CB4toJO haha thats legit hope noone sees it

[tomalotube]

keep uploading to youtube. WWatching onion on TV is like having to wait to watch porn.

[SigningUpForPorn]

tragic

[TunselCrime]

Type PRIZE before youtube and hit enter

[TunselCrime]

Type PRIZE before youtube and hit enter

[tr4d3m4rk44]

For some reason, the Canadian version of IFC isn't airing this show...

[canuckleful]

@tr4d3m4rk44 Saying that was a mistake...

[tr4d3m4rk44]

@canuckleful What? are you getting it in Canada? I can't find it on mine.

[canuckleful]

@tr4d3m4rk44 Nah, sorry broski, they aren't in the Great White North quite yet. I just figured a bunch of arrogant pricks would start bashing us for not having Onion on T.V.

[tr4d3m4rk44]

@canuckleful Ah, I see =D

[skylarscaling]

So now that they're on TV, we don't actually get to see their skits online? I'll just wait for them to get canceled and come crawling back.

[MrJekyllDrHyde1]

My charity is collecting porn DVD to send to the affected population .. please donate generously :)

[ngilford1]

lol its funny cus all the hottest teachers teach spanish

[Vla3d]

shortest onn video evah?

[winkpolve]

My spanish teacher is a guy...

That's totally the one I'm imagining XP

lol

[ihavemonkeysinmybutt]

oh the humanity!!! no access to porn! my heart goes out to those poor poor fat people in Wisconsin.

[klmstars]

@ihavemonkeysinmybutt STFU, I'm sure your one of those insecure fat people!!!

[ihavemonkeysinmybutt]

@klmstars Wisconsin is pretty fat according to The Cleveland Show

[klmstars]

@ihavemonkeysinmybutt I didn't know anybody still watched the Cleveland Show. Family Guy and The Simpsons are where it's at!!!

[arana05]

Whats wrong with the guy on the left at 0:08????

[descreto]

I'd rather die than live in a world without porn.

[arana05]

@descreto

such a wise words my brother... Wisdom, wisdom indeed 

[williamkendrick]

i will pray that you get your porn back soon.

[YoGuy37]

When I had Spanish my teacher was kind of hot.

[SharkDude1]

Dear Onion News. Pay Attention to this and Everyones comments about your new format. It sucks!! Why would you change your format/start. and ending format? You became very successful with the way you Where. And now your changing? Really?? I watched your show on IFC and I was not impressed., and Im sure nobody else here was. Don't get fatheads because your on IFC, its only a matter of time before you fail with this new format. The Flags down should give you a clue.

[RobVanMeter]

@SharkDude1 Your so right....Isn't it almost predictable. Success can make some shows and actors/comedians more boring. I guess the more pampered and comfortable one becomes it makes it harder to relate to the things that the rest of us find humorous...Wasn't the BEAUTY of the ONN the fact that if was accessible when you WANTED to watch it, and not change to fit their schedule?!?

[Mr937595]

lol my power went out twice yesterday because of the snowstorm on the east coast

[ipoopedmahpantsz]

onion is selling out, more sketches ,more often, but the quality is fucking shit

[V8Jagnut]

OMG thats unthinkable, dam snow!

[exelenttee]

press 4 repeatedly! 

[Rationalific]

People laugh. I want to cry.

My worst fears have come to pass. They are only airing the good stuff on TV. Well guess what. I don't have access to The Onion and in fact I'm living in Japan.

So thanks for ruining a good thing. I hope to high heaven that they haven't fired the staff that made the internet show, or else I'll be without The Onion for the foreseeable future.

If you have forsaken us, shame on you, Onion.

[jaqbk]

thousands without access to pornography...hilarious...

[lukacho5]

onnion news - The only news you can trust