A Story of an Atheist Dating a Believer

[chrisgangsta]

We ve all been there man

[gmorenox18999]

Yo whats up dude. cool video. you know man. same thing happen with me, and I was interested in a ministers daughter. talk about wow. she was hot, smart, caring, but you know how theists are. I was like religion its not a big deal. but she was like trying to convert me the whole time. We can conclude that sometimes love doesnt conquer all. But no worries man, there more girls than guys out there :P get a atheist chick there way better in all aspects. Good luck man ~.^

[MelodicMantra]

This happened to me yesterday :(

[RunfromtheHeathen]

This is why I refuse to date a woman of faith. Not saying that all will have this point of view. But chances are if you do establish a relationship with someone of faith and you are faithless you will be seen as a project, a lost heathen that needs to be "shown the light". You will never be able to form a true connection with that other person because faith will always be an issue. I dated a catholic once. Religion erects the tallest walls. The great partitioner of humanity.

[wolfseye14]

in tears begging her that it doesnt matter if you believe in a god or not, that we were actually happy, since that i've now tried helping people with the same problem

[wolfseye14]

i understand your issue, i met a girl, we connected really well, she as Israeli, her mum moved to England to get away from from the war and her family, her mum was Atheist, but the girl was Jewish, i knew that, but it didn't bother me at all that she was Jewish, when we officially started to become in a relationship it must have been 2 months before she found out i was an Atheist, everything before that was fantastic, but it went downhill as soon as she found out, and eventually ended with me -

[MindofaJedi]

Constantine was NOT a Christian , he worshipped the Sun. This is well known . He allowed Christians to worship on specific hollidays which all coincided with the iimportant astronomical dates. That is why we have Christmas, Easter etc, all on either solistices or equinox times. Because Constantine did not persecute the Christians, Christian historians tried to hijack him as one of their own. They do this a lot . Anyway I found this video interesting.

[MindofaJedi]

What is funny is almost always over time a Christian partner will try to convert a non Christian partner. This often breaks up relationships. The fascinating part is you will almost always see a loss of faith of the Christian after this and never will you see the agnostic partner getting dumped and suddenly finding Jesus. I have seen this 100 times. My best friend, and atheist, is now married to a former Christian who once dumped him, but then dumped Jesus and came back.

[BlackBullNDN]

Same problem here, but more complicated. I know this girl, and we talked well for maybe 4 months, started having long phone convo's, safe to say we liked each other alot. 2nd phone convo I told a girl I met in church when I used to be christian, told her I was an Atheist. she said ok, and she respected my thoughts. We ended up dating 1 month later for 5 months. We grew to love each other and had lots in common, except religion. We broke up over it in the end. Sad how beliefs can determine dating

[aether9000]

read the bible. The bible is the most powerful weapon an Atheist can have on his side

[Markpink21]

I have to say..nice video. Im by no means a christian(not worthy of that title) but I do believe in God. I hate to say it but christians are constantly taught that atheists are just aweful people. And for the longest time I believed it. College life has completely broken me of that view. Im an artist and and an art major. So im constantly meeting new walks of life and its great! What would the world be without diversity and difference! I love it! I hope it works out for you!

[chikdada]

You thought that believers and non-believers may not be too different. There's one difference between the two; one of them is nuts the other is not

[sociopathpsych]

here's something funny... i hooked up with a girl and we were thinking of making it a FWB kind of deal. after we fucked we talked and all, something came up about church. i told her i'm an atheist. she kicked me out of bed and told me not to call her again. kind of funny since we just finished fucking...

[edheldude]

Something similar happened to me when a rare Finnish believer asked me for a date. Everything went super and she seemed nice but afterwards when we were chatting in the interwebs she wanted to know which church I belonged to.

=> "We shouldn't see each other anymore."

[gapanlilio33]

Ferox Deo Vacuus vinco.

[1tmoch]

If you're gung ho for embracing differences, then why do you seem to have difficulty accepting the difference of this girl in not wanting to be with you. Branch this out further past your circumstance and throw into the equation the multitude of "differences" for why people break up, get dumped, do the dumping, divorce etc. How many times have you heard "our personalities just clashed." Well, something or many things cause the clashing, from the petty to the more fundamental.

[SuburbanCountryboy]

Sounds like she passed up a much more sincere man than most of the men she'll date from her own denomination. You're on your way to a quality woman for sure. Keep on keepin' on!

[pokemonman56]

hey im a black 13 yr old athiest dating a CHRISTAIN black woman and our relationship is going smoothly. best of luck to you man.

[ViperLover109]

You seem like a very knowledgeable guy, and i'm a Christian believer. I find it interesting to hear your story, and just how much a fellow Christian would turn you down. As a Christian, we are obligated by the Bible to accept all people no matter what, but many people are scared away by the fact that you're an Atheist. I'm not sure what you're perspective is toward Christians, but keep in mind that most Christians are hypocritical and seem to push away from nonbelievers. sorry about ur date man.

[CANDOKNOWHOW]

I've met couples like this. One of em is usually relaxed about speaking up for their beliefs, but I know one couple who just laugh about their different beliefs. They know how to argue in a healthy way, keeping it light, teasing but never hateful. A fanatical believer could probably never get over their fears enough to chance it, but a tolerant, pragmatic believer who maintains a calm demeanor would make a more suitable candidate. Most Buddhists are completely unphased by this kind of drama.

[silverhawkroman]

whats next, religiousism?? people sure want us to be set apart... so there is no such thing as the perfect partner? yes, but tht doesnt mean you HAVE to renounce something very important to you....

[Blackardis]

I'm sorry I'm just straight evil, I won't say I'm atheist till my sexual appetite is sated. If there is a really hot christian, I will have to try her out sexually before i reveal my atheism

[mrw21]

Good stuff man. I dated a girl for about a month and the exact same thing happened. I really liked her, and it seemed to me senseless that we couldn't continue on in the relationship for no other reason than I didn't want to pretend to know the same things that she did. She told me about her family ... all of her uncles were "sort of" Christians who converted just so they could marry the aunts. Glad I didn't join that pathetic lineage.

[chariothorse]

i am a christian and i applaud you

[Benlucky13]

ive had something like this happen between me and a view friends. someone that was once a very close friend is now my enemy. just because he couldnt stand the fact that i did not believ in a god. now we both hate one anothers guts.

[lazyperfectionist1]

"Her rationale was that she wanted to raise children in a Christian house."

Well that worked out really well.

"I couldn't help but think about that."

Spoken like a true atheist.

Dude, you're better off. Atheist chicks are hotter and more of an intellectual challenge.

[KrayzCurry]

Ooopsie-doopsie... you never directly respond like that, you always reply with questions, like: "Why are you Christian and not Jewish?" always put doubt in their head... indirectly. Get into science and philosophy not religion. Also never talk about past boyfriends or girlfriends its in the past who cares I grew up in a religious area, it was a living hell.

[theumph]

Dude, this happened to me twice. Lame. I can accept they were Christians, but they could accept the fact I wasn't. Pretty silly.

[WISHiWASinMA]

of holding up a positive athiest image. keep posting and feel free to message me. id love to talk and maybe even do some sort of joint discussion with you for a video segment or something to show how us as people can come together and agree on many things. thanks and great video

[WISHiWASinMA]

they are completely in control of themselves, as far as their mental thoughts go, because they do not have the outside influence of a higher power or other religious or spiritual figures. i do think however though, there is a very negative stereotype that surrounds the everyday athiest. they are generalized into a group that is dark and haes life and all that BS. i know athiests who happen to be the most caring people ive met. trust me man, i feel for ya and i think youre doing a wonderful job

[WISHiWASinMA]

and athiests and agnostics could all come together and see that we really have more similarities than we do differences...imagine how much different and more awesome our world would be today. for me, religion teaches us to live by rules and practices...which i am NOT a fan of. as a SPIRITUAL man, its a much more personal experience. one filled with love and care for each other, not so much about worship and all that jazz. as for the athiests, which i have complete respect for, i believe that

[WISHiWASinMA]

hey man whats up?

i was watching your video the other night and i just wanted to say that i really feel for you and your experience. i myself am not an athiest but i know how it feels to be unaccepted for your personal belief system.

im very spiritual and i believe strongly that there is a god watching over us...btw i am in no way trying to convert you or anything. i respect your decision. i i do know how you feel. if religious people (which i am not part of that group) and spiritual people and

[NZbeauty86]

mmm yeah I see your point completely. I think a LOT of generalisations have gone down between both believers and non believers and it does make me regretful.

[Doversreturn]

yes thats because religion is divisive cult!

[peterS2mymum]

Nice vid, raises good questions.

re the unequally yoked passage, I interepreted that as having two meanings

1. dont marry/date ppl of a different belife system because it makes it alot harder in that when raising kids what morals/ belifes they want their kids to believe

2. the reason she was to stay with her husband was because divorce in those days was only done if one person was unfaithful and if the marriage was to break the consiquences for both people btw"De-converting" is that a word?

[blaziermissy]

Thanks for your video. You're very intelligent, to say the least.

[LakelandKicker]

Amen!

[Cajaquarius]

Interesting story. I have been dating a girl I really click with for a few years now, but early on found out she was pretty much an athiest. Thus far we have both proven to be unmoving on our ways of thinking in conversation, though it makes for interesting talks. I rather like the back and forth for fun but it is rare to meet people in one camp or the other that don't think of you like the devil (or a brainwashed retard in the case of the athiest, I suppose). They do exist though, I assure you.

[Cajaquarius]

Aye, I know what you mean. I have never met an athiest who could convince me to abandon my faith nor have I ever convinced an athiest to abandon his lack of faith. Just different wiring of the brains I guess. Seems the same with politics.

Debate really is such a useless activity, when you think about it. Like drinking a cup of your own piss. Seems like you are doing something, but when it is all said and done, nothing changed and you probably left with a a bad taste in your mouth.

[OlympicRudi]

Wow, I knew I'd like this vid just from the title.

I remember there was a girl I met once & things were progressing well. About the 4th day & much alcohol, we got into a discussion on religion. It got pretty intense & one of those conversations where a reasonable logical person just suddenly seems the exact opposite.

After that, although still liking her, I stopped seeing any future in it because I assumed if we were to have kids, she'd want to raise them in the church like she was.

[OlympicRudi]

Cont.

Something I could never do, as Indoctrination is probably the biggest thing I have against organised religions. I could only see future irreconcilable differences in any potential relationship.

I actually only recently discovered she doesn't even want kids & it's made me think about if I made a mistake. I can't really think of any other things that would prevent a relationship from my side anyway.

[GoblinXXX]

Cock-blocked by Jesus!

[IaoGawd]

Remember... I don't hate you, Jesus and God do. :)

If I was God, I would be a cock-encourager.

Oh, and I would immediately strike, with lightning, any 'priest' that molests children. I mean, damn, McDonald's will fire you if you can't shave right... God doesn't hold a standard among His shepherd herding His flock?

[GoblinXXX]

Well, CUPID, Jesus ain't. And don't get me started on the whole "shepherd" and "flock" metaphor.

[MotionFur]

It's not a matter of dissimilar. A lot of the religious beliefs prevent it. I was trying to find the quotation for you, but I haven't found it yet. It's from the bible, and essentially says to not welcome non-believers into your home. If their religion tells them not to let you in their house, how can they let you in their heart?

It's not about similarities, everyone is remarkably similar, but there are some claims are just extremely incompatible. I do not think I could date or love a theist.

[gjsterp]

I suppose your morals as an atheist are too high to have to considered lying to this girl just to get her in the sack.

As an atheist, you will need to lower your morals drastically, otherwise you are going to make us other atheists look bad.

Recommended by ProfMTH

[nubian377]

Its possible that you just didn't spark attraction during the date. If you had, she would have gone ahead with you anyways, regardless of her beliefs.Trust me she would have revealed more of her "sinful" nature had you sparked enough attraction.

[DrixDZanth]

Yeah, that's possible. I actually wondered if the reverse was true. While it seemed out of the blue, one thing I thought was that she was feeling some sort of guilt over how quickly we were moving physically. This was date three, and she already told me how much she wanted to date me.

But, it's possible that her spark faded; whether by dating or through some guilt.

[IaoGawd]

She realized you were the Devil; seducing her with your evil atheist ways. Thus, any feelings of attraction or desire she held for you were completely unnatural and sinful. You, the Devil, were trying to lure her away from the beautiful worship of God.

Next time, don't reveal you're the Devil... err, atheist.. until you're balls-deep. Then maybe some sort of freaky exorcist sex will occur. Or, at least, you'll have to hold on for dear life as she bucks your Satan ass off her pure-Jesus-heart.

[loveisallneed]

While I agree with you, people are going to be more particular with whom they mate. It is good that she brought it up early, so you would not waste more of your time talking to a bigot.

[peacepaige]

i dont think it matters what the other person beileves in, it doesnt matter to me, to be honest i dont even know what my friends believe in because i dont ask

[IaoGawd]

If only that was true for everybody; but there's a percentage of people who are brainwashed into the mentality of "us vs them." They are taught to fear and avoid anything / anyone that is different. Isolating them from anyone who would dissent creates a reality in their mind that de-humanizes others not in their sect.

Just like "separate but equal" kept the races divided and fueled stereotypes and misunderstandings. Divide and conquer.

Let the kids grow up together and there may be peace.

[MilkaManProductions]

Hahaha you dating! Just kidding bro.

[morsusmihi]

I am a Christian, but I do like science and I do like to look at other perspectives, which is why I'm subscribed to a variety of believers and non-believers.

One thing that I've never understood about my religion is the unacceptance of others. I found it quite shocking when I told my uberchristian friend that I was dating and she asked "Is he a Christian?"

To me, it doesn't matter what religion a person is and I find it horrible that some people base their relationships on religion.

[DrixDZanth]

It's refreshing to hear perspectives like yours. Thanks!

[morsusmihi]

You're welcome.

[jussts]

0:16 I let out this really weird, too-loud laugh when you said that... I have a feeling would have done the same if asked that question on a date. Talk about awkward... no fourth date for me either.

[VioletCosmonaut]

This struck a chord, because telling my husband I was an atheist was so traumatic for him. I don't think he would have married me if I was an atheist when we met. His reaction was so peculiar, because he blamed himself for my thoughts and actions.  For religious people atheism can be a very dirty word indeed.

[dariowortiz]

basing one's life on irrational fears and beliefs is not just plain stupid. in my opinion is sad. it's very depressing how people get along with their lives without even thinking about the most basic stuff.

that sucks!

[ArmchairAccomplice]

I think whether or not a relationship could work between an atheist & a theist depends on the people.

But it couldn't work for me. I dated a very nice, very Christian guy before I had completely sorted out my atheism & I couldn't handle it. His faith was only one of the things that I couldn't get comfortable with, but ultimately rationalism is too important to me to get serious with a theist.

But I think I could date a smoker, so long as the ventilation was good, & he was awesome.

[friendlydiplomat]

The Kalam Cosmological Argument is valid. On what basis do you claim it is not valid? Trust me, it is.

[1140Cecile]

To me, the big difference between a "believer" of some particular religion and a non-believer in any religion can be compared to two people who live in a city, say Vancouver, and one of those people has never been outside Vancouver. The person who has been outside Vancouver(Atheist) says, "Wow, you should take a trip with me. There's lots to see and learn about outside of Vancouver." But the other person(Theist) says, "Why would I ever want to leave Vancouver? Everything I need is right here!"

[DrSikenstine666]

the last time I dated a believer. she didn't mind or try to convert me. Her parents on the other hand were constantly breaking out the bible and the holy water. now I couldn't marry a christian woman i would not want a person to try to raise my children "under god". I would like for my children to take credit for what they did and not attribute it all to an imaginary deity. ant I would like them to hail themselves not a 2000 year old carpenter on some 2x4.

[ProjectBlueBeam]

great video man, i am an atheist currently dateing a christian girl, it is possible to make it work, of course my girl isn't as hardcore religious as your's sounded but the whole children and marriahe thing is a problem that we may have to face in the future, if the relationship lasts that long. We talked and both agreed to not worry about it right now and that we can sort it out if/when before we get married.

[ProjectBlueBeam]

ment to spell marriage lol

[TheDon001]

I'm an atheist and my wife is Catholic. Honestly it has never been a problem for us, and its only ever been an issue for some of her family, and they still like me anyway, just been a awkword topic.

[RowanFortuneWood]

DrixDZanth, I think you are right. People (both theists and atheists) are frequently too fixated on the divide. As though this simple matter of belief is the most crucial defining characteristic of everybody.

I look forward to your future videos on this subject.

[ruin3r]

Also, it's good you saw the red flag of this girl dumping her ex for not being "the right type of christian", be glad you only wasted a few dates before finding out she's a cunt. You're young, find yourself an open-minded girl, atheist or not, and have fun.

One more bit of advice: if someone you're dating needs to know your religious views before proceeding, you're probably not right for eachother.

[ruin3r]

I'm a strong atheist, my girlfriend was raised catholic but is now what others might call it 'spiritual but not religious', i.e. she believes in the idea of a god but not a specific dogma, so religion doesn't effect our life at all. We'll probably get married eventually and have kids.. what i've found is you don't have to 100% agree with someone to love them, but its better to be with someone that you at least 90% agree with, i.e. someone to whom religion isn't important.

[LogicalSanity]

it's odd that mr pregnant's videos show up in the related vids sections :O. he's an atheist as well. i've never been on a date. i'm very anti social LOL.(my very religious parents are 1 reason) it sucks that she even brought religion up. there are plenty of fish in the sea :)

[ProfMTH]

I've had two coming out experiences in my life: the first as a gay male, the second as an atheist. In the main, the former was greeted by the people in my life with *far* less fuss than the latter. There's just something about atheism in our society. I do cut my partner some slack on this because one of the things that attracted us to one another when we met was that we were both Catholic, and we were quite active as a couple in our parish for years. Life is funny. Good video.

[friendlydiplomat]

You remind me of me. I get the impression that you were a life long christian until your deconversion. I have had moments of doubt too but who doesn't. I have never given in to doubt because I have never been convinced that atheism is more rational than theism. Why do you believe atheism is more rational than theism?

[DrixDZanth]

Simply: my beliefs have little to do with whether or not theism is rational. I could begin by mentioning that all of the usual arguments that only prove a deist God (Kalaam cosmological, anthropic, teleological, etc) aren't valid. In addition reading the Bible and then scrutinizing it historically was another step away from theism. Now I'm scrutinizing the argument from experience using Neuroscience.

PM me if you have more questions :)

[RenovatedJon]

Tough luck man, you just happened to find one of those rare Christians who take their religion some what serious.

[RationalJunkie]

I though you were going to say third base....lolz

Look on the bright side though, at least you de-converted BEFORE you got married (should you choose to do so). My wife is still a believer, and as is common with many marriages, the spouse will remain a believer no matter what logic or evidence you present them. So yeah, its not the greatest topic to bring up =)

At least you'll one day be able to find a hotty you can discuss such philosophies with.