Derek & Clive - Sir!

[WhiteLineCrime]

I was crying with Laughing when i first heard this and i have Ad Nauseam in mint condition in its clear plastic Sleeve with the warning lable ( V2112 SERIOUS WARNING On No Account is This Record to be sold to people under 18. It is only to be sold to very broad minded people over 18 ) 1970`s Virgin, nearly as funny as the LP....ACE

[Pistonhips]

My favorite comedy sketch ever, since I was 13. Thanks! 

[roundypie]

Black comedy, you can't beat it.

[itwontbelongyaya]

Listening to this gave me the horn.

Think I'll just pop off for a bit of a wank.

[OliWhiteTV]

This is just too funny !!

[FredericoMendez]

Absolutely hilarious!!



[iamdb1990]

i'm going to "punish" those 7 people... and their botty's

[Albert18264]

And he shined my botty away haha brilliant .

[biharandorissa]

Fekkin'genius...

[ttasi7]

i shouldn't laugh at this, there's something really wrong with this one lol.

[JC5296]

Oh god, so sick, and cringey... Really fucking funny though.

[vicpur]

"OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh" "aaaaaaaarrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh­h" And he could of done something like punished hi!!! Peter!!! You were a fucking genious!!!

[Narkotiulo]

genius

[AllyBScot]

Six people got jolly batey!

[madmike180250]

I almost pxxxxd myself laughing .This sketch is so funny. 2 really great comedians taken from us long before their time . God bless Pete and Dud. Bet they've tried wanking off some of the angels . Sorry couldn't resist that

[MyKnf]

Dicky Back ride... I nearly spat my coffee everywhere for fuck sake... absolutely brilliant.. truly brilliant.. ha ha ha

[OneWayRoad]

LOL

[bigdanvip]

why was sir going uh uh uh

[holdenross]

does anyone know how i can get the full version of this on dvd or something - where can i buy it? thanks..

[ESPSAlita]

@holdenross Well, actually there are several places you can get it from. Some are cheaper than others but I'll leave it to you to compare prices. One of them is amazon.co.uk I don't remember how much they charge. Another is ebay.co.uk You might be able to find it on the American ebay as well if that's where you happen to be from, it might be faster. If not, British ebay is pretty reliable from my experience.

[ESPSAlita]

@holdenross I'm sorry. I just realized I never gave you the title. You can look for it under "Derek and Clive get the Horn" and it's a region two dvd. Fortunately, region free dvd players are getting much cheaper these days. I think I even saw a portable one on e-bay for about ninety dollars (not sure what that is in other currencies but you can get the gist of it).

[holdenross]

@ESPSAlita brilliant! thanks, its actually on amazon.co.uk - its a DVD that is worth its weight in gold - bloody brilliant.

[clonecommander62]

Sir could have done something really bad, like punsih me...

[Wrightwasright]

Your jolly naughty Wiggins

[GordonMorrice]

The 'child' voices are up there with Richard Pryor's 'child' voices. 

[thechildintime63]

cook was the driving force behind the comedy under rated genius on par with the great man himself Spike Milligan !!

[shaneflyons]

I'm not a fan of Dudley Moore's film work at all, but I think he's badly underrated as a comedian in his stuff with Cook. "He was probably trying to shine it" is the biggest laugh in this routine (off a lovely feed by Cook - look at it go, down leg side there. Jolly good shot.)

[TAfan2]

I am going to hell. I split my guts laughing so much!!! xDDDD

Genius

[mistaben2k]

Absolute genius.

[skyclaw441]

Thanks to me showing my friends this my nickname is now Wiggins.

[SuperDoobrie]

"I looked out of the window and there was Wiggins playing with himself again"

V v funny indeed!!!

[Professor6871]

'You've been so naughty I'm going have too take you for a dicky back ride around the study.'

[Professor6871]

'Perhaps we trying too shine it.'hahhahahahha

[kernowdel]

Hop on my willy, because I'm taking you for a dicky back ride. Ooh ooh.

[andyjovirules]

And sir was going oooo oooo ooo and then all this white sticky stuff ran down my

[andyjovirules]

You'll come into my study and i thought oh gosh oh dear what will i do now

[austntexan]

@nuddywizz "botty" LOL

'I thought, Golly, that was narrow squeak, 'cause Sir could've done something really nasty. . .like punish me.'

[zxingzxing]

Stuff of Legends why Peter cook and Dudley Moore offcourse on public Schools, brilliant. Courtesy of Neville Bardoli aka Steppin Razor

[jibhorse]

get fucked cunt,cunt

[ac1980ac]

LOL this is the funniest shit I've ever heard - my eyes are still watering.

[Professor6871]

@ac1980ac Not as much Wiggins was after that Dicky Back Ride.

[Professor6871]

I like them laughing together at the end of this. Its was shame a lot of the video was of them just abusing each other, but I suppose this was the end of their comedy partnership here

[inachiskb]

You can't beat a british private education!

Cameron and Boris Johnson spring to mind : )

[Professor6871]

@inachiskb Well their saying that Cameron and Boris are sharfting the public when this say it all.

[Professor6871]

@inachiskb Try Tony Blair he  also came from a private education background.

[HCShannon]

Dudley keep cracking up during Peter's lines!

[vivascargill]

@HCShannon john cleese went to pieces

[FilTonks]

don't ever do that again.

[papalazerus22]

jolly batey !!!!! Fucking hell ...... i laughed so much ... i started pulling lobsters from jane mansfields arsehole !!!!! LOL !!!

[zxingzxing]

Wished i'd had a stint at Eaton , Habberdashers or St Pauls, you go normal and come out abbynormal he says knowingly !! Neville Bardoli

[OhWowItsEmily]

LOL.

[adewale007]

Still wonderful listening. Almost crapped my pants laughing. Titanic comedy.

[wageslave333]

I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU FOR A DICKY BACK RIDE!

[skyclaw441]

I must play with my willy! I must play with my willy! I must play with my willy!...

[roimlil]

comedy genius

[MrSueVeneer]

Was it a big willy?

[MrSueVeneer]

Jolly naughty Wiggins

[armjos1]

funniest double act bar non

[thelearner60]

I like that Freuding slip which Cook corrects himself straigth away: 'taking himD icky back ride around the studio with the what it should of been around the study..'

[MrSueVeneer]

edir kcab ykcid a rof uoy ekat ot gniog m'I won

[MrSueVeneer]

.si yllaer ti tub ynnuf eb t'ndluohs siht

[DonforDead]

this is terrible.

A load of bollocks.

But...It'd Derek and Clive...It's funny...You cant help but like it.

[michaelball123]

@DonforDead QUOTE " A laoad of bollocks" huh ? Derek and Clive a fucking brillant. Ok yeah this one is a let down I must admit...

[DonforDead]

I never said I didnt like it I love Derek and Clive. I said it's a load of bollocks as in "Another load of sillyness from D+C"

By the way you got the quote wrong :P

[mrsgritoli1]

to think sir richard branson was there in the studio filming all this.......im glad he was.classic derek and clive

[MrMrjammydodger]

"now i'm going to take you for a dicky back ride" CLASS!

[DREW5601]

I was going so fast I couldn't see what was happening... Class comedy!!!

[ch1mpanzeethat]

How. The fuck. Did they get away with this? Lol

[Rx78RN]

this shouldn't be funny but it really is.

[thelearner60]

'He was probably trying to shine it.' lol

[MrSueVeneer]

crumbs

[tomkkkkk]

1:28 LOL

[jamesjonesrocket]

'you're jolly naughty, wiggins'

[funkmystar]

Dudleys responses and his facial expressions makes this scene ooh, aah

[Professor6871]

@funkmystar Yeah especially Dudley's when Peter comes out with this pure spontanious filth hilarious.

[balin2k]

LOL! they would never be able to get away with this now a days

[russell57hokes]

rofl, this is definitely one of the funniest scenes. XD

[fatpizzaman]

When Hetty Johnson dies, I want to picket her funeral and play this track at full blast with my ghetto blaster. Ahhhhh, paedophile jokes are gold - unless it's your kid that gets involved.

[djdnauk1977]

amazing, used to have the vinyl :D

[TheChipmunk2008]

Classic. I remember when someone bought this into school on tape. I'd forgotten it for nearly 20 years, fecking brilliant!

[Jimster666]

So suitable for the album title 'Ad Nauseum'

[JohnRagoon]

Dicky back ride!! LMFAO its still so funny after a thousand plays!! :).

[tomkkkkk]

dicky back ride and he was going OHH OHH OHH! lollll XD

[duxberry1958]

if i was called roger i would change my name !!!! too Alan or Nigel.

[mrsgritoli1]

the english private school system.a lot of ""ROGERING"" going on.one of the best scenes.i couldnt prevent myself from having a wank immediatley

[thelearner60]

Yeah no wonder their aload of arse bandits in House of Lords.

[inagartenrules]

I think it's the sounds dudley makes that makes this so funny

[evolegnartsrd]

lmao, this made me laugh so hard the first time I watched it, and it still does. Derek and Clive is pure comedy gold, from start to finish.. (even if it is pretty naughty. XD)

[demonsbutterfly]

"Ive got a Horn" Superb DVD...

[robthemod58]

You're not American by any chance are you?

[flimpkin4]

No, I'm not American. I'm a Canadian who loves a lot of Brit comedy -- incl. Derek & Clive. But this sketch was a little too twisted.

[benmcfee]

I don't deny that this sketch is twisted, but I still love it... especially considering the time period that is was written in. And, by the way, I'm Canadian too.

[scraperTSB]

Canada is just America Jr, pal. This sketch is utter gold, along with everything peter cook touched

[MIKE1238673]

hahaha excellent assumption, my perceptive friend.... it didn't take much guessing did it? No wonder the prick couldn't tune in to the humour.

[Fanfardon]

Fucking brilliant!

[davo430]

i just got off the floor im in alot off pain from laugthing so hard

[Clu63]

Ahhhhhhhhh brasso..

[FanoMessan]

lol child abuse.

[Johnzoil]

"She had lobsters up her arse. She was fucking working class. She was a... Dutchbitch"

[Professor6871]

@Johnzoil Peter's sex life again.

[benkav93]

LOL!

[98jsbx98]

i must play with my willy

[perthgloryboy]

BRAAASSSSSOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

[jbags21]

you love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fattyacid71]

Totally unique british humour, no fucker else in the world can come up with mental stuff like that!........class

[papalazerus22]

He got jolly batty !!! with me !!!!!!!!!!!

[Alexandra19170]

They are so totally outrageous, how they got away with it I don't know.

Totally hilarious. The funniest thing is how Dudley keeps cracking up all the time

[MIKE1238673]

I know - in some ways Dudley's reaction makes it funnier than the words themselves!

[PatrickBalfe]

YES!!

[reddragon454]

funniest stuff i've ever listened to.

[Clarecanet]

its unbelievable, he caught me looking at wiggins

[PoorMansTomPetty]

Useless trivia - Peter Cook's cat was called Wiggins.

[lukertweek]

Not useless.....Wonderful :) Wiggins Hah! :)))

[GordonMorrice]

@PoorMansTomPetty Fuck off! Really? That's very, very good informingationilsmiationed! Cunt.

[theBESTelvis]

haha, great stuff

[UFOBevy]

class

[DeluxeReissue]

Derek & Clive albums are the best cure for when you're having a shit day. I used to work a very very boring desk job and I used to listen to D & C all day to get me thru.  Never got bored of them and never will.

I love the film as it's so great to see their faces when they really get into character - they make it believable in a very fucked up way. Genius.

[gt68student]

Just s tonic for a crap day lol.

[Professor6871]

@gt68student I should say so.

[Gayunderweather]

I've got this on my I Pod that's how addicted I'm too it.

[maxziz]

dudley moore,,,,ahlll---ooaahhh----oo­oaahh---

did it look like this-------dont ever do that again,,,,

classic,,,truly classic,,,,,,,,

[darylsear]

the best

[gers220989]

classic funny as fuck :D :D

[54spiritedwill54]

legendery stuff!!!

[joeyboyp1000]

Dicky back ride, ha ha ha

[fancellu2]

One of the best comedy sketches ever.

I must play with my willy...

[adorant]

a narrow squeak

[clairez007]

Yeah! this is so funny,but at the same time NOT!Love these 2 reguardless.PEACEXOX

[carledge29]

you don't half give me the horn, claire. I couldn't resist having a wank immediately after reading your post.

[Raedan23]

oh crumbs....oh fucking crumbs.

[mammasheen]

he was probably trying to shine it

[TomRaymondUK]

"Was everything getting blurred?"

[SirJohnMerrick]

Jolly baity!

[infinitepossibility]

So near the mark. Genius.

[speadfreak750]

I heard this about 25 years ago for the first time and it`s as good now as it was then

[ednolan89]

oh crumbs, im done for sir will get jolly baitey, geeeennniooouus, so crude but soo funny all improvised suppposedly.

[6336mandy]

lol they are "jolly naughty" love it!!

[JNRbamyai]

unbeliveable this is just unbeatabel and dud is funy cuase he cant help laughing but there just hilarious

[theocean1973]

they're pretending to be kids who don't know how to swear, instead they say 'jolly' and 'oh gosh' and 'crumbs' instead of 'fuck' 'shit' and 'cunt'

[Gayunderweather]

It may also be that they are from Public school they do speak like that.

[harrisonstorm]

Taken for a dicky back ride. Fucking Hell!!!

[theocean1973]

"He was trying to get my botty shiny, that's what he said afterwards"

[LiamS92]

hahaha i love it when dud gets the giggles

[textvaddicts]

English humor at its best.

[WillThePlank]

LMFAOOOOO

i love derick and clive

[hirdy6]

There is a footballer in our league called Wiggins. I nearly piss myself laughing whenever he is mentioned and hardly any bastard in my circle of friends knows why. I'm going to get a new circle of friends!!!

[giles422]

lol excellent idea. Good for you. Derek and Clive forever

[Johnzoil]

I know what you mean mate! I used to laugh when I saw trucks on the road with a company logo of Wiggins written on the side of them. Never got this sketch out of my head.

[ncfcboy38]

legendery stuff!!!

[RaptureOfHell]

lol i love the whole of derek and clive get the horn..i watch it all the time

this makes me laugh a lot coz it reminds me of a teacher that used to b at my skool hu turned out to b a pedo

[suziemufc]

Brasso!

LOL that was great, I love them both.

[dexter2468]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahah­ah

[KuyuateGirl]

HA HA

[beforsey]

he shinned my botty away.

[bazzatheblue]

you can`t beat a nice dicky back ride.

[turner60]

I take word for it.

[leeTH1RT3EN]

Discustingly funny.. Comedy genius. Sasly missed.

[cffc]

Did it look like this?

[hirdy6]

Yes but This was brasso!!!!

[Clu63]

Ahhhh i've got my thing out.........

[preyy]

as whack as that was

i think i would have rather not heard it

[MintySpunkBubble]

"Sir could have done something really nasty like... punish me"

[blastedflowers]

I think they left this out of the albums. Near the cuff I must say, but it was probably a quality control issue. Tell me, are all these sketches improvised?

[LoafOfPint]

No, this was definitely included in one of the albums. I recognise it.

[LoafOfPint]

Ad Nauseum, indeed, which is where I think all of these clips are from.

[AtticusStount]

Thank you very much. I'm pleased to hear that they chose sponanuity over quality control. I don't think the "Derek and Clive" sessions were a decline, but rather a comedic development (I like this more than the earlier stuff which is also good).

[Gayunderweather]

Yes I agree they weren't a decline they were a triumph of comedy. There early stuff was equally as brilliant as this. I wish they were still around today.

[AtticusStount]

I would be interested to find out if anybody has watched Derek and Clive and actually got the horn. I do know some people that don't "get" their humour. For shame!

[Gayunderweather]

Who gives a shit that they don't get the honour. It's thier fucking loss.

[Gayunderweather]

Course they didn't leave it out of the album. Listen to the album again your find it.