@Roguephilsopher Do you know that Christianity is correct? The world around us reveals that G-d DOES exist, and the historical evidence reveals that Jesus Christ really did come to this earth and there is overwhelming evidence that Jesus Christ really did physically rise from the dead. Jesus is coming again and the signs of the end times that were foretold in the Bible are coming to pass.
Thank you. Self-pity is the worm in your heart that eats at you, day by day. My mom self-pity herself because of what she is and how she looks to people without opioion. Each day, it becomes more irksome as i hear her when she looks into the mirrior. I don't give a damn of how i look. I don't give a rat's fucking ass of other people of how they try to fit in too. I am who I am. Nothing more. If I was going to self pity about something, it would be something i did wrong and learn for it.
I don't understand this or self pity, what if you ARE under-appreciated or you ARE hard done by? It makes you miserable but is that self pity? I don't get it ... Fuck this I'm going to build some doom robots, I'll show them, I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!
A very wise thing to say, I went through a period of self pity and I can tell you what he's saying is true, my relationship was destoryed my education was damaged and I was out of work for months so my finances suffered too. I've managed to get my life back on track in a short space of time but one thing I'll never get back and can't get back is my girlfriend of 3-4 years. It's not your fault if you have depression but if you do nothing about it and wallow in your own sadness, that is your fault
Really? Sounds like an upper class member of society who simply doesn't want the lower class individuals to concentrate too much on how the upper class constantly deficates all over their lives.
@AxelQC somebody thats been to hell and back. he's not telling people how to feel, he's advising people how not to feel because its all a slippery slope.
That relates to certain goings on in people in my family, the words I see self pity as is like a virus the more deeper you sink in it the more pity you feel and the more you yearn for other people to pity you and the more destructive it becomes.
I’m not one for YouTube debates so I’ll keep it short. The English language has been evolving for 1000's of years and you want to throw it all away and start a new a language? Seems like a waste and a slap in the face to everyone who contributed to the language. And for what? So u won’t get ur feelings hurt? That’s like blowing up a house to get rid of fleas. Yes the fleas are dead but at what cost. Maybe you should start thinking.
Bad things happen when you think too hard. People become betrayed by their own mind and this happens just by thinking. If you stop thinking then you don't have a problem. I persoanlly blame the english language for its negative adjectives and the way english works. Why did we purphouse create a language with negative words which raise bad tohughts and negative emotions. I think we should try and evolve a new language and this would open entirely new ways of thinking rather than being a clon
@rusk1992 But i could say your comments are showing you lack people wanting to have your own way of thinking. THere are many other langauges that could evolve over time. Like i said bad things happen when you think
@210482fmj What? That's like saying "schadenfreude" exists simply because there's a word for it, which completely isn't true. It's possible to experience pleasure at someone else's misfortunes without knowing that there's a specific word to describe that feeling. I don't think it has much to do with the English language and more to do with how humans are wired, or perhaps even the influence of culture.
@210482fmj All languages have words and expressions for negative things, because (surprise) all humans everywhere unavoidably experience negative things.
People forget how much we influence each other in life. To say to you're self if only I did this or done that, degrades one self even more. You don't find happiness in a store or having lot's of stuff either!
I think self-pity can become an addiction - better nip it in the bud whilst it's still controllable and before it causes too much damage. And be wary of its sources which can sometimes be external, i.e. others pitying you.
It's called human nature & whilst I greatly admire Mr Fry sometimes he really ought to pop into the real world every now & then! Yes,I'm aware he has his 'black dog' days,as Churchill refered to his depression also,but I can't help feeling that Fry can be rather patronising.Or maybe that's me just expressing my own feelings of worthlessness,lol.See,that's how it goes.
Please visit my channel for the unpopular truth about homosexuality.
A person does not need hatred or any kind of phobia in order to acknowledge important differences between heterosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption and homosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption. Even non-religious people know this.
Homosexual activists, with support from the media, have succeeded at framing themselves as noble victims; it's an effective way to push a social agenda.
The word "homosexual" is more appropriate and accurate than the word "gay".
A person does not need religion, hatred or any kind of phobia in order to acknowledge important, qualitative differences between heterosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption and homosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption.
Homosexual activists, with complete support from the media, have succeeded at framing themselves as noble victims and martyrs; it's an effective way to push a social agenda.
Self-pity is a manifestation of Pridefullness, the 'cardinal sin' that Mr. Fry mentions in the beginning. Pridefullnesss is basically thinking about yourself inordinately.
Mr. Fry and C.S. Lewis would enjoy a conversation together.
Shit. im 25.. nobody told me id be stuck in an a capsule of eternal misery for haphazardly experimenting with self pitying.. i dont even like myself or want to move. Should have used drugs.. well, better and more mb
1 day ago when you are reading this do not stop or else someting good will happen! (sorry about this) this girl's name is sommer, she is 15 years old and has blond hair, many scars, and she has no ears. she is dead. if you dont copy this to more than 10 videos, she will appair one dark quiet night when you are not expecting it beside your bed with a knife and going to kill you. this is no joke. if you send this on 5 more videos something good will happen to you
Stephen suffers from bi-polar disorder, as many incredibly creative people do. I love him enormously, no matter where he happens to be emotionally at the time, but it is hard to see and hear anyone suffer this way.
Self-pity, envy, hatred are emotions of children. Children are helpless, depending on their parents, and exposed to existential competition through their siblings. For them, these emotions are natural and needed. Our european societies today consist mostly of adult children who demand that the state/government take the role of their parents so they can live in eternal childhood. They call for the government for every tiny rock in their shoe. And the politicians are eager to fullfill this role.
Great monologue. I would say that self pitty is the antithesis to what most would refer to as "good character." The same would apply to self entitlement, something which has become a common shortcoming in my generation. We can all learn something about being a better human being from Fry.
@rycka1983 It's seeing yourself as a victim, i.e. everything wrong in your life is someone or something else's fault, and also you (supposedly) have no responsibility to make things better for yourself.
Whether your life's good or not, the main thing is to improve it. Self-pity's when you refuse to do that: it's either somebody else's job OR you're sitting in an ivory tower waiting for luck or happiness to come and somehow magically rescue you.
That's why Fry calls it a "vice": it's a narcissistic, self-indulgent laziness, and it's a huge problem for loads of people. "My life is shit, but I can't be bothered to do anything to improve it." Can't have it both ways.
@flibbertergibbet Still don't quite get idea of self-pitty and to whom it aplies, but know it is more clear. People very often refer to me as self pitty and it makes me mad. Do you know the thing about book The Secret, when if you don't achieve something fallowing methodology of Secret, than it is your own fault.
@rycka1983 The Secret is based on the Law if Attraction and that book gives a very idyllic and incorrect representation of that law. Self Pity and confidence cannot co-exist in one person. Arrogance is a mask used to cover self-pity so I guess genuine self-confidence is the key my friend....I hope you find that in your life
@rycka1983 I should also say that a lot of people who suffer from self-pity are from privileged backgrounds, have good jobs and family lives: people with every reason to be happy. Have you heard the phrase: "the self-pity of the over-privileged"?
It's not rational, whereas admitting to yourself that life's not as good as it should be is very rational.
Self-respect comes from hard work: feeling you've earned everything you've achieved. Self-pity is the opposite of that: it's feeling powerless.
its difficult to define the differnce between self pity and illusions. Our society creates illusions into people minds through every day life. Its difficult to be exact about certain things in particlar youre own imagination. science is something we can be sure about but the mind is beyond science and beyond psychology.
I would say there are rational and not rational causes of self pity. But there are good reasons to try and over come it though it's easier to say than to do.
I've been depressed for a few years... i have good days sometimes..
But when i realized that stephen fry, a man that i really respect suffers from manic depression, i was kinda happy :D I've watched the documentary that he made and when listened to this i just stopped feeling sorry for myself! Thank you Stephen!
Im really starting to stop believing in coincidences as I was just pondering the effects my self pity and pride I have just felt would have on myself. I guess I had Stephen Fry explain to me why I should avoid it much respect.
Excellent fellow in most respects. But Fry really should eschew the homosexuality from now on. It's one thing to have had "a colorful past", but there's no sense in being a lifelong fanatic about it.
"Lie back and think of England" if that's what it takes, but Fry really should take a wife and beget 3 or so kids, and dedicate himself to remaining healthy for the next 20 years so as to be around to raise them properly.
Don't allow "unhealthy friendships" get in the way of begetting more Fry's.
@ProNorden Although it is a great shame that there will not be any little Frys, to be in denial and force yourself to be something your not can only be out of self-pity and we all know how dangerous that is.
@trailstar1 ... Nothing to do with "forcing yourself to be something you're not" ... just recommending that Fry (and maybe others) expand his repertoire ... and not be so narrow-minded .
Productive sexual behavior can be a lot of fun if you do it right. And future generations will thank him.
@ProNorden "Cure yourself of depression - Go Straight!"
Well, that's DEFINITELY a new one for the psychotherapists to chew on! Oh hang on, actually it's not... 'cause the ones that were practising this very approach ('Conversion therapy' on gay people) have since been discredited and even struck off in many cases. No-one should ever be made to feel that they've made the 'wrong' choice of sexual orientation; if it feels right to them it's nobody else's business but theirs.
@Maerahn ..I don't understand your "cure depression...go straight" opening.
I would expect that Mr. Fry's only struggle re moods would be the difficulty in controlling the joy and giddinesss he must feel at every moment just knowing that he's Stephen Fry and a National treasure.
The difficulty is that he is probably mortal... like so many of us. And if he remains so narrow-minded as to not engage in at least the procreative part of marital bliss ..well, "Europe is the less" q.v. Donne I think.
@Maerahn Perhaps I misunderstood your original message - the impression I got was that you were saying that 'giving up' being gay and marrying a woman and having kids would 'cure' his depression - a view I found rather distasteful, which I attempted to express with irony. Apologies if that's NOT what you meant, and if the aforementioned irony was badly conveyed.
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He's an idiot.A tipical Englishman.He's an english man,but of aprofessional expert level.What a prick,we don't need this.England is the most careles country in the world.I bet if a nspaper did a pole,England wuld be the worst at dealing with other peoples pain.Thy make up dumb ideas like sadness,anger,dipretion and revenge are all sins.Even crave for justice is a bad thing.WHAT KIND OF A COUNTRY IS THIS?And then they have the GUTS to start saying new phrases like"don't feel sorry for yourself!"
@desasterz Who are "they"? these people telling us not to feel sorry for ourselves. Because from here it just sounded like Stephen Fry. I think you somehow confused Stephen Fry with the British government about halfway through the second line of your comment.
@desasterz you follow that he's just saying that feeling sorry for yourself or trying to make others feel sorry for you is bad right? That feeling sorry for yourself and victimizing yourself aren't the right solution, that the solution is to work at changing things rather than wallow in self pity?
Whenever you think you life sucks,just realized that at that very moment in Cambodia,a 10 year old girl wakes up at 6 am in the morning everyday to work in the rubbish dumps so that she can feed herself andwhoever that remains of her family.If you got a roof over your head,food,can use the fucking internet and post crap on youtube like myself, you have absolutely nothing to complain about in life.on.Bonus advice for the guys.Girls hate whiners and guys who indulge in self pity.Harden the F up.
@arare666 Just because something is worse doesn't mean that the thing better than it is good, just as having one leg broken is not as bad as having two legs broken. Only a fool would tell you that you should be happy to only have one broken leg.
@LeftyHandedGuns Huh? People still go to Oxbridge and other great universities. People still read, debate and learn. MORE people do than ever before. So why will this disappear? What are you basing this 'fact' on? What exactly are you seeing that makes you sadder and sadder?
Because you're disillusioned with the people around you? If it's that, well, welcome to the world. MOST people are not a Fry, and never have been. That doesn't mean that millions don't exist and millions more aren't coming.
@WhiskerScot569 ummmm well yes it's a portmanteau of Oxford and Cambridge, but it's not a new one. It's the standard way of referring to the two universities and has been for many years. Just checked and it has its own wikipedia page if you want to know more - though I'm sure many of the Oxbridge set frown on that as a resource! :)
@bKiwiD He said basically what is implied in my answer. That the world will never again see the kind of worldly Oxbridge types embodied in Stephen Fry, and that it makes him sadder and sadder to see them disappear.
Utter nonsense of course but as you say he got a lot of likes. People love to moan about how much better the old days were. Nice to see my reply has been liked a fair bit too though. Yay for being sensible.
@greyztone Yeah, I basically assumed from your answer what he must have written, but then I was wondering if I'd missed something because of how many thumbs up he had. I totally agree with you, though-- people take that attitude about all sorts of things, from admirable people to music from different generations, and there's always that self-congratulatory tone; they seem proud of themselves for coming up with the incredibly original sentiment that the past was quality and the future is shit.
i understand this, but to then hear it said that the emotions i feel i can't control are wrong and bad then makes them worse. It's insight rather than advice really, isn't it.
@buntyh0ven It's all a choice. You choose the easy way to let your emotions rule you. Try choosing the harder way and you take control. In time it will get easier.
@buntyh0ven Well yes it really is insight which in reality is much better then advice, at least I think anyway. No one can really ever control their emotions. One can hold them back, subdue them even but they will find a way to surface. Its not that those emotions are wrong persay everything is good in moderation even a bit of self pity, when you can use it to motivate yourself to do better next time, but its when you begin to lul (?) in self pity it becomes problematic for you & for everybody.
Very very wise words. I normally cant stand this pillock but he's right. You are in control of most things in your life and it IS so easy to offload the responsibilities you owe to yourself by claiming they are 'out of your hands'. No-one is physically holding your arm behind your back. Its all in your head.
The problem here is that your articulation is noticeably superior to mine and I cant really back up my point of view as-well, this is distressing as I always like to thing the sun shines out of my arse. Basically I want to say that his in sight is often very beneficial, and this is not always down to his contrast with the vast numbers of shitehawks that exist within the media. Overlook his posh voice though, it doesn't put me off and I'm northern!
@caekface I would have to agree with you on the Wagner documentary, I saw it as a documentary on Fry's perception rather than Wagner himself, which isn't too bad as a lot of the target audience would never have heard of the great composer if it wasn't for Fry. I would say that his skill lies in comedy, and his intelligence in his analysis of the human condition, and peoples individual plights. He is also able to admit his own flaws.
@OZoneGrl A little bit yes. Don't get me wrong I think he's fantastic. I just wish he didn't feel the need to publically analyse HIMSELF every day in newspapers, on TV, at readings, Twitter etc. He's probably the most loved man in the country yet he still has to bang on about himself ad nauseum.
@ryko26 Aah, I can understand that. It eems like a lot of times, public speakers will use themselves as an example, just as a kind of "I can relate to you guys" type of way. But yeah, sometimes they tend to go overboard with it. =/
@oprescuflorin I acctualy can't make it more obvious or simpler but i try. You say that human can't control thier emotions. Its just your feable speculation? Im in no position to agree or disagree but you are so sure we can't that i would be happy if you can base that statment in some more clear reliable data.
@MK88N0M4D arguments over the internet makes no sense... as you do not see on what i have based my statement i can not see your base for your statement either... Medically emotions are reactions to different hormones. Not having a reaction of any kind to any situation makes it an illness. If it is self pity... is because that is the way the brain synapses have been formed with that emotion... I rather want the truth about how a person feels than manipulating them in something else. *Cheers
I read somewhere that they may be linked. Self-pity can be caused by pride - in the sense that one clings to the lamenting state of self-pity because one is unwilling to accept that one made some mistake and therefore was not infallible, or wiser, than one was at the time of the mistake. Letting go of the self-pity would mean acknowledging that one is not perfect, but only human. No doubt one of the more painful lessons to learn - so self-pity can seem an easier way out.
@mu86neer How do you suggest others should help? I think self-pity is one of the conditions that is the hardest to do anything about from outside, because it is a 'diseased attitude'... And the cure is effectuated by a decision from inside to *let go* of this attitude and force oneself to see, and express, what's positive instead. At least in my experience. A good therapist can certainly be a great help, but people around one in general I think are pretty powerless to change one's attitude?
@mu86neer Of course it is important to distinguish between true self-pity (= as a way of looking at life in general) and the necessary - and painful - process of "digesting a grief". In the last case, others can be of help as a support, by "being there" and being able to make room for, and accept, the existence of the grief. I suppose self-pity sometimes arises when this process gets stuck - then the self-piteous person preys on the wish of others to help. I think that's what Stephen refers to
@mu86neer ...when he says that self-pity destroys both the relations to others and to oneself.
Well... What I'm trying to say is just that some things can only be amended from the inside, while others are impossible to weather without the support from someone else. And sometimes it is hard to tell which is which. But the good thing about therapists is that they can give advice in both cases. So no one is all alone. At least, no one should ever be! ...Good luck & comfort to all sufferers.
Why isn''t this whole interview up anymore? I know Youtube has its regulations and whatnot, but I mean, come on... this is stuff that the entire world needs to hear...
my perspective- self pity is just an excuse for the people who are too weak to push on to quit at life and anyone who engages in it needs to punish themselves.
@valkenburgert So, by your logic, an alcoholic or reformed alcoholic should have free rein to pontificate to other alcoholics about the evils of drinking, and murderers and rapists have special rights in lecturing others of their ilk, too?
Incidentally, a quadraplegic rarely chooses to become one, either, and there is less they can do to address their condition than a manic depressive.
I don't know why you replied either -- is masochism your personal demon?
Special rights? I'm saying CAN. like 3 times... That's not a special right now is it?
My point is that I think it's a pitty you seem to focus on less constructive things then he's talking about. Normally I don't care about that but there's so much to learn from Stephen Fry...
Breaking him down by saying stuff is easy: getting his point and learning from that is hard but it's for the better.
Your trying to do the same thing with me with your last line. Exactly the same. Think about it!
I find it unpleasant to imagine if this prozelytizer -- a very charmed one at that with the vast sums he is paid to host silly TV programs -- were to harangue some quadraplegic for feeling unhappy with his lot. Someone please tip him off his velvet-cushioned pedestal.
@litote99 Did you listen to what he said or just let your opinions cloud your judgment? One simple fact of emotions, is that some are productive and some are not. Self-pity is a unproductive emotion, no psychiatrist would tell you otherwise. A task we all face in life is to shun unproductive emotions and embrace those that are not.
@reznor12 My comment did not applaud self-pity; I took umbrage at the pampered Mr Fry's pontification -- more repellant than the extremist form of self pity in my opinion/judgement.
I think some degree of self pity is understandable -- perhaps even "productive" (though I'm not quite sure what you mean by this industrial term) if it has a consolatory effect. Pity is considered sympathetic when applied toward others. Philosophers regard existential angst as a rational, undeluded state of mind.
I wouldn't try to dwell of it. The world isn't bad as you think.
Roguephilsopher 6 days ago
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@Roguephilsopher Do you know that Christianity is correct? The world around us reveals that G-d DOES exist, and the historical evidence reveals that Jesus Christ really did come to this earth and there is overwhelming evidence that Jesus Christ really did physically rise from the dead. Jesus is coming again and the signs of the end times that were foretold in the Bible are coming to pass.
marionetemanJ 4 days ago
Thank you. Self-pity is the worm in your heart that eats at you, day by day. My mom self-pity herself because of what she is and how she looks to people without opioion. Each day, it becomes more irksome as i hear her when she looks into the mirrior. I don't give a damn of how i look. I don't give a rat's fucking ass of other people of how they try to fit in too. I am who I am. Nothing more. If I was going to self pity about something, it would be something i did wrong and learn for it.
Roguephilsopher 6 days ago
He is right. This is why the writings of Friedrich Nietzsche are so important.
NIETZSCHEAN14 1 week ago
I like Fry, but I take his psychological advice with a grain of salt. He is someone who tried to kill himself after all. .
preemptivestrike20 2 weeks ago
@preemptivestrike20 yes and he recovered from a major depression. i think that speaks for itself.
e7l13 1 week ago
I don't understand this or self pity, what if you ARE under-appreciated or you ARE hard done by? It makes you miserable but is that self pity? I don't get it ... Fuck this I'm going to build some doom robots, I'll show them, I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!
JingleJoe 3 weeks ago
this is the best advice I've EVER been given!
siebenny 1 month ago 3
A very wise thing to say, I went through a period of self pity and I can tell you what he's saying is true, my relationship was destoryed my education was damaged and I was out of work for months so my finances suffered too. I've managed to get my life back on track in a short space of time but one thing I'll never get back and can't get back is my girlfriend of 3-4 years. It's not your fault if you have depression but if you do nothing about it and wallow in your own sadness, that is your fault
Hoooyeeeaaah321 1 month ago
yeah i'm right there with you
i od on selp pity all the time
totoole67 1 month ago
Really? Sounds like an upper class member of society who simply doesn't want the lower class individuals to concentrate too much on how the upper class constantly deficates all over their lives.
dsquaredproductions 1 month ago
@dsquaredproductions you really know nothing about stephen fry do you?
e7l13 1 week ago
Who does Fry think he is to tell people how they should feel?
AxelQC 1 month ago
@AxelQC somebody thats been to hell and back. he's not telling people how to feel, he's advising people how not to feel because its all a slippery slope.
e7l13 1 week ago
That relates to certain goings on in people in my family, the words I see self pity as is like a virus the more deeper you sink in it the more pity you feel and the more you yearn for other people to pity you and the more destructive it becomes.
ecos889 2 months ago
I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself.
qbslug 2 months ago
@qbslug Been watching gi jane have you
210482fmj 1 month ago
I’m not one for YouTube debates so I’ll keep it short. The English language has been evolving for 1000's of years and you want to throw it all away and start a new a language? Seems like a waste and a slap in the face to everyone who contributed to the language. And for what? So u won’t get ur feelings hurt? That’s like blowing up a house to get rid of fleas. Yes the fleas are dead but at what cost. Maybe you should start thinking.
rusk1992 2 months ago
Bad things happen when you think too hard. People become betrayed by their own mind and this happens just by thinking. If you stop thinking then you don't have a problem. I persoanlly blame the english language for its negative adjectives and the way english works. Why did we purphouse create a language with negative words which raise bad tohughts and negative emotions. I think we should try and evolve a new language and this would open entirely new ways of thinking rather than being a clon
210482fmj 2 months ago
@210482fmj
I disagree. Both in condoning people to "stop thinking", and in your logic...
It’s not the words that are offensive or how it is arrange on paper or the fact it’s English, but rather
What the word implies.
The power that makes them offensive is also the power that makes can make us peaceful .
Some people abuse the power .
So it is on you to pick and choose words carefully
rusk1992 2 months ago
@rusk1992 But i could say your comments are showing you lack people wanting to have your own way of thinking. THere are many other langauges that could evolve over time. Like i said bad things happen when you think
210482fmj 2 months ago
@210482fmj What? That's like saying "schadenfreude" exists simply because there's a word for it, which completely isn't true. It's possible to experience pleasure at someone else's misfortunes without knowing that there's a specific word to describe that feeling. I don't think it has much to do with the English language and more to do with how humans are wired, or perhaps even the influence of culture.
nksw1 1 month ago
@210482fmj Also your comment doesn't make much sense: evolving a new language would really require quite a lot of thought.
And surely thinking too hard makes you that OPPOSITE of a clone (if that is what your last word is meant to read)
nksw1 1 month ago
@210482fmj All languages have words and expressions for negative things, because (surprise) all humans everywhere unavoidably experience negative things.
Procrastinatron2000 1 month ago
There's no way I'm searching the comments to find LeftyHandedGuns
So, I'll just hop on the badwagon...
You tosser LeftyHandedGuns! You tosser!
JaguarEarlobe 2 months ago 5
Wise words - thank you Mr Fry
tartandaddy 3 months ago
I love this man. He is a national treasure.
1a1a2s3d4f5g 3 months ago 7
These are good clips, but what's with the kettle whistle noise in the background?
WorkForYourMoney 3 months ago
People forget how much we influence each other in life. To say to you're self if only I did this or done that, degrades one self even more. You don't find happiness in a store or having lot's of stuff either!
WizzRacing 4 months ago 2
Your Pride is heard!
odephraimchai 4 months ago
I typed this all out and pinned it up next to my mirror, along with a few favourite quotes and Veronica Shoffstall's "Come the Dawn" poem. :)
bKiwiD 4 months ago
I think self-pity can become an addiction - better nip it in the bud whilst it's still controllable and before it causes too much damage. And be wary of its sources which can sometimes be external, i.e. others pitying you.
BeorhtFrognostic 4 months ago
It's called human nature & whilst I greatly admire Mr Fry sometimes he really ought to pop into the real world every now & then! Yes,I'm aware he has his 'black dog' days,as Churchill refered to his depression also,but I can't help feeling that Fry can be rather patronising.Or maybe that's me just expressing my own feelings of worthlessness,lol.See,that's how it goes.
popazz1 4 months ago
People who have never had true cause to pity themselves would do well not to opine on the mental anguish of others.
emby85 4 months ago
One of the most profound things I have heard on the web.
19coyote80 5 months ago
Whenever I notice myself getting into that state of selfpitty, I play this video and have Stephen Fry tell me it is destructive.
evildeathmonkey1 5 months ago
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Please visit my channel for the unpopular truth about homosexuality.
A person does not need hatred or any kind of phobia in order to acknowledge important differences between heterosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption and homosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption. Even non-religious people know this.
Homosexual activists, with support from the media, have succeeded at framing themselves as noble victims; it's an effective way to push a social agenda.
lightandbeautiful 5 months ago
i wish i could stop self pitying, if only i was happier
haz464 5 months ago 3
@haz464 zing! clever.
feel better, though
APinhert 5 months ago
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thanks for posting :) great clip!
picohenry 5 months ago
thanks for posting :) great clip!
picohenry 5 months ago
Is he a gay?
doobiesmoke15 5 months ago
@doobiesmoke15 Why does that matter? Are you in love with him?
evildeathmonkey1 5 months ago
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evildeathmonkey1 5 months ago
youtube.com/watch?v=wYaXc_f1b5Q&feature=channel_video_title
laughingpines 5 months ago
I can see the sense of Stephen's argument.
laughingpines 5 months ago
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The word "homosexual" is more appropriate and accurate than the word "gay".
A person does not need religion, hatred or any kind of phobia in order to acknowledge important, qualitative differences between heterosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption and homosexual attraction / behavior / marriage / adoption.
Homosexual activists, with complete support from the media, have succeeded at framing themselves as noble victims and martyrs; it's an effective way to push a social agenda.
lightandbeautiful 5 months ago
Self-pity is a manifestation of Pridefullness, the 'cardinal sin' that Mr. Fry mentions in the beginning. Pridefullnesss is basically thinking about yourself inordinately.
Mr. Fry and C.S. Lewis would enjoy a conversation together.
ProNorden 5 months ago
FUCKING EXCELLENT!!!
ncurran1987 5 months ago
Who was it said, "Self hate is the greatest love of all"?
KapStuf 5 months ago
I'll probably agree with you in a few minutes.
SuperStarwanderer 6 months ago
this is a massive eye opener for me, amazing video
SuperBMan3000 6 months ago
I'm going through SUCH a rough period in my life right now. I need to keep reminding myself of this. Thank you for posting it!!!
LadyIce48 6 months ago 2
Amen, man.
richcoolerearth 6 months ago
You're right Stephen, and I have great pity for you.
nakedmambo 6 months ago
Shit. im 25.. nobody told me id be stuck in an a capsule of eternal misery for haphazardly experimenting with self pitying.. i dont even like myself or want to move. Should have used drugs.. well, better and more mb
fetalbetal 6 months ago
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WAMULIKE 7 months ago
Stephen suffers from bi-polar disorder, as many incredibly creative people do. I love him enormously, no matter where he happens to be emotionally at the time, but it is hard to see and hear anyone suffer this way.
FlashJack85 7 months ago
Sounds good.
mrzipdisk 8 months ago
No words.
LerenDownloaden 8 months ago
Self-pity, envy, hatred are emotions of children. Children are helpless, depending on their parents, and exposed to existential competition through their siblings. For them, these emotions are natural and needed. Our european societies today consist mostly of adult children who demand that the state/government take the role of their parents so they can live in eternal childhood. They call for the government for every tiny rock in their shoe. And the politicians are eager to fullfill this role.
Skandalos 8 months ago
@Skandalos Amen to that, if you'll pardon my French. :)
beachcomber2008 6 months ago
Great monologue. I would say that self pitty is the antithesis to what most would refer to as "good character." The same would apply to self entitlement, something which has become a common shortcoming in my generation. We can all learn something about being a better human being from Fry.
elektrobank55 8 months ago
so true
Wizhix 8 months ago
What is self pitty?
rycka1983 8 months ago
@rycka1983 It's seeing yourself as a victim, i.e. everything wrong in your life is someone or something else's fault, and also you (supposedly) have no responsibility to make things better for yourself.
flibbertergibbet 8 months ago
@flibbertergibbet Sounds like bullcrap to me, sorry. Sometimes your life can be shit, and admiting that it is shit isn't self pitty.
rycka1983 8 months ago
@rycka1983 Didn't say it was.
Whether your life's good or not, the main thing is to improve it. Self-pity's when you refuse to do that: it's either somebody else's job OR you're sitting in an ivory tower waiting for luck or happiness to come and somehow magically rescue you.
That's why Fry calls it a "vice": it's a narcissistic, self-indulgent laziness, and it's a huge problem for loads of people. "My life is shit, but I can't be bothered to do anything to improve it." Can't have it both ways.
flibbertergibbet 8 months ago
@flibbertergibbet Still don't quite get idea of self-pitty and to whom it aplies, but know it is more clear. People very often refer to me as self pitty and it makes me mad. Do you know the thing about book The Secret, when if you don't achieve something fallowing methodology of Secret, than it is your own fault.
rycka1983 8 months ago
@rycka1983 The Secret is based on the Law if Attraction and that book gives a very idyllic and incorrect representation of that law. Self Pity and confidence cannot co-exist in one person. Arrogance is a mask used to cover self-pity so I guess genuine self-confidence is the key my friend....I hope you find that in your life
themax316 8 months ago
@rycka1983 I should also say that a lot of people who suffer from self-pity are from privileged backgrounds, have good jobs and family lives: people with every reason to be happy. Have you heard the phrase: "the self-pity of the over-privileged"?
It's not rational, whereas admitting to yourself that life's not as good as it should be is very rational.
Self-respect comes from hard work: feeling you've earned everything you've achieved. Self-pity is the opposite of that: it's feeling powerless.
flibbertergibbet 8 months ago
I don't really like Stephen Fry at all but what he is saying here is true!
accidentsinspace 8 months ago
its difficult to define the differnce between self pity and illusions. Our society creates illusions into people minds through every day life. Its difficult to be exact about certain things in particlar youre own imagination. science is something we can be sure about but the mind is beyond science and beyond psychology.
210482fmj 9 months ago
I would say there are rational and not rational causes of self pity. But there are good reasons to try and over come it though it's easier to say than to do.
SaerdnaOoOoo 9 months ago
I've been depressed for a few years... i have good days sometimes..
But when i realized that stephen fry, a man that i really respect suffers from manic depression, i was kinda happy :D I've watched the documentary that he made and when listened to this i just stopped feeling sorry for myself! Thank you Stephen!
Nanaki2042 9 months ago
Im really starting to stop believing in coincidences as I was just pondering the effects my self pity and pride I have just felt would have on myself. I guess I had Stephen Fry explain to me why I should avoid it much respect.
utube2344 9 months ago
The clip just stops right there? WHERE'S THE REST??
movieegrl13 9 months ago
Excellent fellow in most respects. But Fry really should eschew the homosexuality from now on. It's one thing to have had "a colorful past", but there's no sense in being a lifelong fanatic about it.
"Lie back and think of England" if that's what it takes, but Fry really should take a wife and beget 3 or so kids, and dedicate himself to remaining healthy for the next 20 years so as to be around to raise them properly.
Don't allow "unhealthy friendships" get in the way of begetting more Fry's.
ProNorden 9 months ago
@ProNorden Although it is a great shame that there will not be any little Frys, to be in denial and force yourself to be something your not can only be out of self-pity and we all know how dangerous that is.
trailstar1 9 months ago
@trailstar1 ... Nothing to do with "forcing yourself to be something you're not" ... just recommending that Fry (and maybe others) expand his repertoire ... and not be so narrow-minded .
Productive sexual behavior can be a lot of fun if you do it right. And future generations will thank him.
ProNorden 9 months ago
@ProNorden "Cure yourself of depression - Go Straight!"
Well, that's DEFINITELY a new one for the psychotherapists to chew on! Oh hang on, actually it's not... 'cause the ones that were practising this very approach ('Conversion therapy' on gay people) have since been discredited and even struck off in many cases. No-one should ever be made to feel that they've made the 'wrong' choice of sexual orientation; if it feels right to them it's nobody else's business but theirs.
Maerahn 5 months ago
@Maerahn ..I don't understand your "cure depression...go straight" opening.
I would expect that Mr. Fry's only struggle re moods would be the difficulty in controlling the joy and giddinesss he must feel at every moment just knowing that he's Stephen Fry and a National treasure.
The difficulty is that he is probably mortal... like so many of us. And if he remains so narrow-minded as to not engage in at least the procreative part of marital bliss ..well, "Europe is the less" q.v. Donne I think.
ProNorden 5 months ago
@Maerahn Perhaps I misunderstood your original message - the impression I got was that you were saying that 'giving up' being gay and marrying a woman and having kids would 'cure' his depression - a view I found rather distasteful, which I attempted to express with irony. Apologies if that's NOT what you meant, and if the aforementioned irony was badly conveyed.
Maerahn 5 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
He's an idiot.A tipical Englishman.He's an english man,but of aprofessional expert level.What a prick,we don't need this.England is the most careles country in the world.I bet if a nspaper did a pole,England wuld be the worst at dealing with other peoples pain.Thy make up dumb ideas like sadness,anger,dipretion and revenge are all sins.Even crave for justice is a bad thing.WHAT KIND OF A COUNTRY IS THIS?And then they have the GUTS to start saying new phrases like"don't feel sorry for yourself!"
desasterz 9 months ago
@desasterz Who are "they"? these people telling us not to feel sorry for ourselves. Because from here it just sounded like Stephen Fry. I think you somehow confused Stephen Fry with the British government about halfway through the second line of your comment.
mitch2d2 9 months ago
@desasterz you follow that he's just saying that feeling sorry for yourself or trying to make others feel sorry for you is bad right? That feeling sorry for yourself and victimizing yourself aren't the right solution, that the solution is to work at changing things rather than wallow in self pity?
EmmaB3545 9 months ago
Spot on.
leegee23 9 months ago
If only I was born more intelligent I wouldn't have to listen to stephen fry to know this...
ImperialAffliction 9 months ago
@ImperialAffliction That sounds like self-pity! Weren't you listening to a word he said?! :P
asecooper222 9 months ago
@asecooper222 I hope you're being knowingly sarcastic. Good one, if you are
fsandt 9 months ago
He is correct
seonidh 9 months ago
These are important words that many should keep bare in mind...including myself !
MarcoDRFowler 10 months ago
Whenever you think you life sucks,just realized that at that very moment in Cambodia,a 10 year old girl wakes up at 6 am in the morning everyday to work in the rubbish dumps so that she can feed herself andwhoever that remains of her family.If you got a roof over your head,food,can use the fucking internet and post crap on youtube like myself, you have absolutely nothing to complain about in life.on.Bonus advice for the guys.Girls hate whiners and guys who indulge in self pity.Harden the F up.
arare666 10 months ago
@arare666 Just because something is worse doesn't mean that the thing better than it is good, just as having one leg broken is not as bad as having two legs broken. Only a fool would tell you that you should be happy to only have one broken leg.
labratbum 10 months ago 2
he deffinately is a bit of a philosopher
eyeoftheshieka17 10 months ago
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LeftyHandedGuns 11 months ago 50
@LeftyHandedGuns Want any lube to go with that guff?
CmdrTobs 8 months ago
@LeftyHandedGuns But most of the things taught at school.college/university are blatant lies. It's bullshit!
accidentsinspace 8 months ago
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majorisore 8 months ago
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majorisore 8 months ago
@LeftyHandedGuns Huh? People still go to Oxbridge and other great universities. People still read, debate and learn. MORE people do than ever before. So why will this disappear? What are you basing this 'fact' on? What exactly are you seeing that makes you sadder and sadder?
Because you're disillusioned with the people around you? If it's that, well, welcome to the world. MOST people are not a Fry, and never have been. That doesn't mean that millions don't exist and millions more aren't coming.
greyztone 8 months ago 47
@greyztone
You saved me from having to comment. :)
SgtSanchez 7 months ago
@SgtSanchez Glad to be of service :)
greyztone 7 months ago
@greyztone errrrr Oxbridge thats a new one or are you just using it as a portmanteau for oxford and cambridge
WhiskerScot569 7 months ago
@WhiskerScot569 ummmm well yes it's a portmanteau of Oxford and Cambridge, but it's not a new one. It's the standard way of referring to the two universities and has been for many years. Just checked and it has its own wikipedia page if you want to know more - though I'm sure many of the Oxbridge set frown on that as a resource! :)
greyztone 7 months ago
@greyztone alrighty then i didn't know that
WhiskerScot569 7 months ago
@greyztone Seconded.
Lop7dh 6 months ago
@greyztone What did LeftyHandedGuns say? (I went back to check his comment, but he's removed it, and still has 48 thumbs up on it.)
bKiwiD 5 months ago
@bKiwiD He said basically what is implied in my answer. That the world will never again see the kind of worldly Oxbridge types embodied in Stephen Fry, and that it makes him sadder and sadder to see them disappear.
Utter nonsense of course but as you say he got a lot of likes. People love to moan about how much better the old days were. Nice to see my reply has been liked a fair bit too though. Yay for being sensible.
greyztone 5 months ago
@greyztone Yeah, I basically assumed from your answer what he must have written, but then I was wondering if I'd missed something because of how many thumbs up he had. I totally agree with you, though-- people take that attitude about all sorts of things, from admirable people to music from different generations, and there's always that self-congratulatory tone; they seem proud of themselves for coming up with the incredibly original sentiment that the past was quality and the future is shit.
bKiwiD 5 months ago
@greyztone
"MOST people are not a Fry" theirs probably more then we think, he just happens to be in the public light
255ad 3 months ago
@LeftyHandedGuns there will always be someone to pick up the torch. there always has been.
Guinness4h2o 7 months ago
@LeftyHandedGuns Oh fuck off you twat.
edbingey 7 months ago 15
i understand this, but to then hear it said that the emotions i feel i can't control are wrong and bad then makes them worse. It's insight rather than advice really, isn't it.
buntyh0ven 11 months ago
@buntyh0ven It's all a choice. You choose the easy way to let your emotions rule you. Try choosing the harder way and you take control. In time it will get easier.
theartyone 11 months ago
@buntyh0ven Well yes it really is insight which in reality is much better then advice, at least I think anyway. No one can really ever control their emotions. One can hold them back, subdue them even but they will find a way to surface. Its not that those emotions are wrong persay everything is good in moderation even a bit of self pity, when you can use it to motivate yourself to do better next time, but its when you begin to lul (?) in self pity it becomes problematic for you & for everybody.
VanargrandsEnd 11 months ago
Very very wise words. I normally cant stand this pillock but he's right. You are in control of most things in your life and it IS so easy to offload the responsibilities you owe to yourself by claiming they are 'out of your hands'. No-one is physically holding your arm behind your back. Its all in your head.
catuvelauni 11 months ago
Oooh good God all I can hear is Reaver from Fable 2 and 3!! xD
jonnavdpas 11 months ago
Love love love this man. Thank you for posting this! ox
ukeelady 11 months ago 4
Man, that's heavy.
Thagros 11 months ago
This guy has been to the edge and turned back...
I would take his advice alll the way.
Too outspoken for knighthood......;-)
00Billy 11 months ago
The problem here is that your articulation is noticeably superior to mine and I cant really back up my point of view as-well, this is distressing as I always like to thing the sun shines out of my arse. Basically I want to say that his in sight is often very beneficial, and this is not always down to his contrast with the vast numbers of shitehawks that exist within the media. Overlook his posh voice though, it doesn't put me off and I'm northern!
EbsNhexz 11 months ago
@caekface I would have to agree with you on the Wagner documentary, I saw it as a documentary on Fry's perception rather than Wagner himself, which isn't too bad as a lot of the target audience would never have heard of the great composer if it wasn't for Fry. I would say that his skill lies in comedy, and his intelligence in his analysis of the human condition, and peoples individual plights. He is also able to admit his own flaws.
EbsNhexz 11 months ago
@caekface What do you mean? he has always been very insightful.
EbsNhexz 11 months ago
Stephen Fry talks about himself (A FUCKING GAIN)
ryko26 1 year ago
@ryko26 Got a problem with it?
OZoneGrl 1 year ago
@OZoneGrl A little bit yes. Don't get me wrong I think he's fantastic. I just wish he didn't feel the need to publically analyse HIMSELF every day in newspapers, on TV, at readings, Twitter etc. He's probably the most loved man in the country yet he still has to bang on about himself ad nauseum.
ryko26 1 year ago
@ryko26 Aah, I can understand that. It eems like a lot of times, public speakers will use themselves as an example, just as a kind of "I can relate to you guys" type of way. But yeah, sometimes they tend to go overboard with it. =/
OZoneGrl 1 year ago
The light static over this soundbite makes his statement so much more profound. I love it!
trevster2905 1 year ago
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lowpuzzy 1 year ago
Thanks for uploading this, invaluable piece of advise.
lowpuzzy 1 year ago
Stephen Fry always surprises me and I respect him more every single time he speaks!
Groth1175 1 year ago
Lol, Reaver xD
Lolaawful 1 year ago 3
emotion can not be controlled... you can not really choose what to feel... if it is self pity and it is masked it does not mean self pity is gone.
oprescuflorin 1 year ago
@oprescuflorin And you base that statement on what?
MK88N0M4D 1 year ago
@MK88N0M4D i don not get the purpose of your question.
oprescuflorin 1 year ago
@oprescuflorin I acctualy can't make it more obvious or simpler but i try. You say that human can't control thier emotions. Its just your feable speculation? Im in no position to agree or disagree but you are so sure we can't that i would be happy if you can base that statment in some more clear reliable data.
MK88N0M4D 1 year ago
@oprescuflorin actually*
MK88N0M4D 1 year ago
@MK88N0M4D arguments over the internet makes no sense... as you do not see on what i have based my statement i can not see your base for your statement either... Medically emotions are reactions to different hormones. Not having a reaction of any kind to any situation makes it an illness. If it is self pity... is because that is the way the brain synapses have been formed with that emotion... I rather want the truth about how a person feels than manipulating them in something else. *Cheers
oprescuflorin 1 year ago 2
Stephen Fry is a STABLE Oscar Wilde. His wit and genius rival that of his idol, if it does not surpass it altogether.
TheLogicalGod 1 year ago
next time i feel like getting down on myself, i'm going to toss this on. Stephen Fry knows just how to make me feel better about life. :)
alixinthemiddle 1 year ago
Fuck that. I respect Stephen Fry but he's incorrect in this regard. Self-pity can be justifiable in certain conditions. Pride is the worst.
666T3mplar 1 year ago
Two people are at the pity party.
TheOdderOne 1 year ago 9
@DonaLynetteStewart
I read somewhere that they may be linked. Self-pity can be caused by pride - in the sense that one clings to the lamenting state of self-pity because one is unwilling to accept that one made some mistake and therefore was not infallible, or wiser, than one was at the time of the mistake. Letting go of the self-pity would mean acknowledging that one is not perfect, but only human. No doubt one of the more painful lessons to learn - so self-pity can seem an easier way out.
ZolotayaKoshka 1 year ago 3
SELF-PITY IS TOOOO PAINFUL...IF ANYBODY SUFFERS FROM IT, PLS HELP HIM/HER.,,!
mu86neer 1 year ago
@mu86neer How do you suggest others should help? I think self-pity is one of the conditions that is the hardest to do anything about from outside, because it is a 'diseased attitude'... And the cure is effectuated by a decision from inside to *let go* of this attitude and force oneself to see, and express, what's positive instead. At least in my experience. A good therapist can certainly be a great help, but people around one in general I think are pretty powerless to change one's attitude?
ZolotayaKoshka 1 year ago
@mu86neer Of course it is important to distinguish between true self-pity (= as a way of looking at life in general) and the necessary - and painful - process of "digesting a grief". In the last case, others can be of help as a support, by "being there" and being able to make room for, and accept, the existence of the grief. I suppose self-pity sometimes arises when this process gets stuck - then the self-piteous person preys on the wish of others to help. I think that's what Stephen refers to
ZolotayaKoshka 1 year ago
@mu86neer ...when he says that self-pity destroys both the relations to others and to oneself.
Well... What I'm trying to say is just that some things can only be amended from the inside, while others are impossible to weather without the support from someone else. And sometimes it is hard to tell which is which. But the good thing about therapists is that they can give advice in both cases. So no one is all alone. At least, no one should ever be! ...Good luck & comfort to all sufferers.
ZolotayaKoshka 1 year ago
SELF-PITY SI TOOOO PAINFUL...IF ANYBODY SUFFERS FROM IT, PLS HELP HIM/HER.,,!
mu86neer 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Wow thanks Stephen! You gave me the trigger to rebuild myself! Brill! Priceless! Thanks! Lxo
snowwhiteginger 1 year ago
Wow thanks Stephen! You gave me the trigger to rebuild myself! Brill! Priceless! Thanks! Lxo
snowwhiteginger 1 year ago
Why isn''t this whole interview up anymore? I know Youtube has its regulations and whatnot, but I mean, come on... this is stuff that the entire world needs to hear...
bubblebreeze 1 year ago 4
my perspective- self pity is just an excuse for the people who are too weak to push on to quit at life and anyone who engages in it needs to punish themselves.
Zanez2 1 year ago
Oh man, if only I'd seen this earlier, a whole year of my life wouldn't have been wasted by incompetent fools.
ZylHW 1 year ago
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A manic depressive pontificating about self pity! Oh please.
litote99 1 year ago
A manic depressive pontificating about self pity! Oh please.
litote99 1 year ago
@litote99
He didn't say he made a good choise by being "a manic depressive" did he? Not that is is a choise in the first place....
People who hitted rock bottom in their lifes can tell others what is the 'wrong' way to go.
Happy people can tell others what is 'a good way to go' by experience.
A good soccer player can tell others how to play soccer by experience.
Why am I responding on Youtube comments again? I dunno.......
valkenburgert 1 year ago
@valkenburgert So, by your logic, an alcoholic or reformed alcoholic should have free rein to pontificate to other alcoholics about the evils of drinking, and murderers and rapists have special rights in lecturing others of their ilk, too?
Incidentally, a quadraplegic rarely chooses to become one, either, and there is less they can do to address their condition than a manic depressive.
I don't know why you replied either -- is masochism your personal demon?
litote99 1 year ago
Special rights? I'm saying CAN. like 3 times... That's not a special right now is it?
My point is that I think it's a pitty you seem to focus on less constructive things then he's talking about. Normally I don't care about that but there's so much to learn from Stephen Fry...
Breaking him down by saying stuff is easy: getting his point and learning from that is hard but it's for the better.
Your trying to do the same thing with me with your last line. Exactly the same. Think about it!
valkenburgert 1 year ago
I find it unpleasant to imagine if this prozelytizer -- a very charmed one at that with the vast sums he is paid to host silly TV programs -- were to harangue some quadraplegic for feeling unhappy with his lot. Someone please tip him off his velvet-cushioned pedestal.
litote99 1 year ago
@litote99 Did you listen to what he said or just let your opinions cloud your judgment? One simple fact of emotions, is that some are productive and some are not. Self-pity is a unproductive emotion, no psychiatrist would tell you otherwise. A task we all face in life is to shun unproductive emotions and embrace those that are not.
reznor12 1 year ago
@reznor12 My comment did not applaud self-pity; I took umbrage at the pampered Mr Fry's pontification -- more repellant than the extremist form of self pity in my opinion/judgement.
I think some degree of self pity is understandable -- perhaps even "productive" (though I'm not quite sure what you mean by this industrial term) if it has a consolatory effect. Pity is considered sympathetic when applied toward others. Philosophers regard existential angst as a rational, undeluded state of mind.
litote99 1 year ago
@litote99 Wow, you're an asshole.
thefuckheadsgalore 1 year ago
@thefuckheadsgalore How very eloquent, fuckface.
litote99 1 year ago
@litote99 No need for eloquence in this situation.
thefuckheadsgalore 1 year ago
@thefuckheadsgalore Try to at least use the correct term of abuse, an ass is a donkey, you arsehole. Asinine Americans!
litote99 1 year ago
Gosh, isnt he just Fabulous. such a great man
mixedupmuddledup 1 year ago
very true.