Rep. Seeks Retroactive Immunity For Anyone Who Hit On First Lady Last Night

[samofah]

The still ahead line "FEMA allocates $200 million to design bigger sandbags" had me dying! lol

[TheYouwontgetit]

is hitting on the first lady illegal...?

[1voice1man]

Hahahaha Hillarious!!! "So Fierce!"

[syafiqjabar]

@DaytonaRoadster

Oh come on, Biden doesn't look that bad.

[camaseutra]

FEMA allocates $200 million bigger sandbag research. Lmao!

[HauntedGhostLady]

Like Mr. Durant, for instance?

[deweeeese]

brilliant :)

[danimal2888]

That guy reminds me of Jeffrey Tambor

[zbat11220]

Dude, why do you try so hard to be a troll?

[Oli3TB76]

lmfao

[farhan00]

I laughed at "so fierce"

[ik43]

so fierce!

[tctheunbeliever]

(citing, not sighting)

Yep, spelling Nazi.

[MarmaladeINFP]

The Onion has the best political news videos. The only news channel that can compete on the same level of quality with the Onion is Faux News.

[chanmang]

That's just fuggin tragic.

[justcopyandpaste]

law fail

[OnionTrollsAlliance]

@cnralph, non oil-based, ironically.

[djtrixen]

LOL this is friggin awesome.

[OnionTrollsAlliance]

@cnralph, we trolls are pansexual (that means we have sex with pots and pans). We think your human psychiatrists are correct when they say you creatures fret far too much about your sexuality and should basically just chill. ;)

--Troll the Ancient

[cnralph]

What type of lube do you use for pots and pans?

[nightkraawler]

nonstick pans offer the best protection when it comes to '''getting burned, ''however recent findings suggest that the teflon posses some health risks and impotence......stay safe..

[Kiroswan]

@OnionTrollsAlliance nerd

--The Internet

[koffeekage]

@Kiroswan everyone needs to vote up this up.

[tomitstube]

@OnionTrollsAlliance ~ lol, well i'm a little shocked by your disregard for uninhibited wanton sex and reject your imposition. for i am omnisexual (sex with dodges and other various small compacts) and thus proudly proclaim my independence!

[OnionTrollsAlliance]

@ruff1298, If you're over 21, come on over to my bridge and let's get plastered. ;)

--Troll the Ancient

P.S. Just kidding. I prefer my humans sober. And as 800 year-old trolls go, I think I am remarkably hot.

[OnionTrollsAlliance]

@DelphiIII See my response vid entitled "Way to go, Rep. Durant!".

[OnionTrollsAlliance]

Hellooooo! The actor was playing Rep. Durant of Conneticut - the one who got a but too tipsy at a congressional mixer two weeks ago? THE ONION DOES SATIRE - IT DOESN'T CREATE WHOLE STORIES OUT OF THIN AIR.

[Greg88429]

I love the actors of the Onion! I like how everyone in the background is just casually going about their business.

[DELPHIIII]

Who is bruce is duarnt and is he out of his mind for proposing this!???

[antauk]

u r retarded right?.

[xboxkilla]

@DELPHIIII The person assuming that this is a real news cast, is out of their mind, it's the onion.... dude... pay attention

[amiserable]

Michelle is hawt. but so is Palin. Hmmm hot + intelligent + competent > hot + nutty than a fruitcake + lying pshyco hosebag.

Ya, better keep this bill about Michelle, but stick in a Palin ryder too pls. ty

[zvi303]

I assume the first is Palin, and the second Obama? Or are we drinking the network kool-aid?

[cavspunk08]

LoL

[composerdoh]

lol! Love the Onion!

[KissAssGoodbye]

lulz at every turn

[Quirky01]

Lol, I agree this is funny. I don't understand why everyone's sense of humor is out the window lately.

[abootube]

i like it

[cnralph]

Michelle's not even that hot?!

[ruff1298]

When you're drunk, EVERYBODY'S hot.

[cnralph]

Recommendation for ya, don't go to Thailand. Just might end up with an extra package at your door.

[ruff1298]

Is there a problem with that?

[cnralph]

Guess there's not if you're okay with being the spoonee.

[ruff1298]

Exactly. Thanks for understanding and replying.

[LeChuck99]

well i thought it was funny...

[kissmybuttdimple]

who could blame the poor guy.??

[b0bzm00s3]

Epic meh. Get funnier again, Onion!

[Serotonergic]

@b0bzm00s3 Alternatively, you could get less whiny and/or stop being a dumbass and realize that humor is subjective.

[sambob127]

Does someone know the song at the end of the video at the still ahead part?

[powerpc127]

I think it's just a short clip made for the show specifically.

[sambob127]

I know it's a song from Vivaldi I just don't know the name

[bbreonlmt]

@sambob127 Its a movement from "Four Seasons"

[PSNvorcia]

the actor was laughing almost all the time

[ThadiusSLove]

Who would want to hit on sasquatch?

[grifN93]

Catastrope9001 is joking. notice he said SMALL amount not large amount

[MikeofWyoming]

You would have to register a 2.0 bac before hitting on Michele Obama...Jesus, That's realy taking one for the team and when I say team I'm saying USA.

[Catastrophe9001]

FAKE - FEMA Would never spend that dismally small amount of money designing bigger sandbags.

[Brianwhittaker23]

NO!!! TheOnion is FAKE?Have you any proof?

[jedihunter176]

Wow, thank you for your excellent deduction, Holmes.

[MajorDelco]

Its the effin' onion people... satire done brilliantly... quit watchin' these mother effin' videos if you can't tell the diff.

[interstitialofficial]

eh... that was... odd. Well, they can't all be brilliant.

[Brianwhittaker23]

ya i have to agree.That one wasnt as good as the others,but they cant all be winners!!!

[plague4life]

is this real or another spoof

[qazwsxedcrfv80]

Everything by the onion is a spoof.

[plague4life]

true, but the video quality and the wat its done was so beleivable. lol Brass Eye was good for stuff like that

[ryaneGT]

People who don't think this is funny have obviously never watched C-SPAN. This is awesome!

[shagoosty]

Eh, this one is not funny.

[fingerprint211b]

What happened to you Onion? U used to be funny :(

[xisumavoid]

@fingerprint211b

i find that its only funny when you first see it, then after watching it a while you see its the same formula for each sketch

[IPoppedArt]

i think you have to watch cspan to find it funny, its an acquired taste haha

[fingerprint211b]

Well, I watched them since the beginning, and I've watched every sketch they made, and somehow they were funnier before. Remeber the hollow-point bullets recall? Or the salmon killer?

[IPoppedArt]

hahaha yeah but keep in mind these are different styles of skits. this ones a parody of cspan, whereas the hollow point one is a newscast parody. dont get me wrong some are funnier then others but you have to watch them in the context they were intended

[robotpanda77]

I we sure michelle obama is a woman? I am not sure that has been proven yet. To make out with her would require more then beer goggles, you would need like a beer astronaut suit.

[drewdeze]

i know the first time i saw michelle from the back somethin rose

[DURound]

This law works for me.

[lacostic]

he must've been REALLY drunk to hit on Michelle Obama

[alexicoff]

oh so that's how you flirt :P

[jobuXC]

subsection D to subsection F? anyone else notice?

[jazzfusionforall]

subsection E was to obscene to pass youtube's content filter. There were probably some suggestive sexual comments/movements/removal of clothes involved.

[fptswim101]

naw

[myquill23]

Right... Where is subsection E?

[DrGorgenflex]

The Onion should do High Definition.

[donotfeedthetroll]

i was offended by this video

[PizzaPizza33]

Lol why?

[WaCoproductions]

...why? its not offensive

[damagecase13]

@WaCoproductions Judging by their name. DoNOTfeedthetroll, You are essentially feeding the troll ;)

[halfbreed11111]

@donotfeedthetroll

gOOD!!!

[soadratmetc]

@donotfeedthetroll I'm glad.

FUCKING TROLLS!!!!!

[natefromcanada]

lol the guy disappears at 1:30. Must of been a slight glitch.

[kabsy0utuber]

LOL

[LmanAkaSilentHunter]

lmao haha

[encantarebelde]

SO fierce :p

[ProfessorPEARL]

I know the haters are going to come out but; Michelle Obama, really?

Even in the playful, just kidding, parodied, not serious way; no thank you, seriously...

Well wait, she is rich...

[Ieatbabyseals]

Nah she's good I'd hit it

[ProfessorPEARL]

Hey now, hold on... I'm still debating with myself about that rich thing...

Okay, you get the first lady, I'll take Oprah for the win.

Shit... she better bye me some freedom!

[Sacaen]

@ProfessorPEARL I'm with you on that one.

[morriswillis]

hey bitch, in what way was i being racist?

are you too stupid to realise that i was laughing at them?

seriously, learn some fucking english bitch

[logoutt]

i got too happy when i saw this video.. it wasnt as amusing :/

[Zimy0]

They're getting lazy on the greenscreen effect.

[Deadpool601]

This wasn't that funny...

[ziderazzi]

Vote Bruce Durant!

[CommentorX]

The representative from 1st District Delaware wishes to amend HR 517, granting immunity to anyone who said, "Hey, baby, get up on this, I'm Too Big to Fail."

[1oct1]

This isn't the first time.

Van Jones tried it and they got rid of him over it.

[Drerven]

This is serious win.

[St37One]

WTF?

Attempted unwanted sexual assault is not a joke.

Thats attempted RAPE!!!

This is NOT FUNNY

[toddissofullysick]

well then, get a scene of humor.

[St37One]

youre a sense of humor

[LinzyBeckham]

*sigh* this is a parody new cast channel, I'm getting really goddamn annoyed with you people who think this is real.

[Weltschmertz2020]

@LinzyBeckham

PROTIP: They're probably trolling.

[swinewarrior]

@LinzyBeckham ....i thought it was real

[retard2041]

@St37One your a fag

[St37One]

@retard2041

you are a retard

[lemonrind]

No, no. Rape is funny. Trust me.

[prayfertrey]

Wow, theonion doing awkward, "we're trying to imply something none of us believe way deep down" humor. Like when you joke about a genius being idiotic because you know everyone will get that it's a joke and not be offended because the joke is meant to be an ironic take on the guy's genius, except that the person isn't actually a genius, we just want to create the impression we think that with that joke. When you have to reach that far to give some people esteem, well...

[Farryn123]

hahahaha

[TheYoungMoneyBoi]

I AM BARACK OSAMA

[GTRockero]

Did anyone catch the subliminal message pop up in 1:30 for a very split second?

[zombikilla92]

i went as close to frame by frame as i could and what i saw was an editing error

there was one frame where he wasn't in the picture but the background hadn't changed.

Editors were probably like "no1 will notice"

[xboxman79]

@zombikilla92 Yeah, I see it :D

[CafeCharLatte]

@GTRockero I think it was just an editing glitch?

[evanrkg]

@GTRockero subliminal message? what are you smoking?

[IHereVoices]

there is a flash of yellow on screen if you pay close attention. i don't think it's a message though

[MakeMyBrainMelt73]

there was no subliminal message. its was jsut a a bad, shot switch.

[SteveSeabee]

Finally something important, now they can turn thier attention to ensuring all my tupperware lids fit the tupperware bowls.

[powercrazy11]

This seems pretty inappropriate, definitely flagging this video :|

[darthclaytor]

LOL You can't be serious!!!

[Bm0h]

@powercrazy11 inappropriate? Yes.

Inappropriately appropriate? Very yes.

[Muzikman127]

what the fuck.

[ScotsmanRS]

@powercrazy11 I'm assuming that comment's a joke. It gets hard to tell these days; the YouTube community makes a habit hitting new levels of ignorance on a daily basis.

[kbmalfho]

uhu,when did this happen,was it bush

[DrRockso99]

lol dumbass.

[St37One]

attempted rape is not a joke.

there is no excuse for attempted rape.

[bloodninja12]

@St37One dude... your an idiot

[St37One]

@bloodninja12

or I might be a troll, saying absurd and inflamatory things.

[ClockworkChristmas]

but there are quite a few for rape

ask your mum

[St37One]

you are just pro rape, and pro attempted rape, and pro dream rape.

You are not going to steal my endorphins.

My endorphins are my private property. You must have my permission to use them.

[patman173]

:D...

[ahsin2012]

fierce!!

[thepax29]

Is this real?

[ThEuNdYiNg1]

@thepax29

no lol

[shutthefupplz]

@thepax29 yes

[everydayidiealilmore]

nope. just a skit.

[dm121984]

I agree - its all too easy to get drunk and kiss Ms Obama. I've done it 5 times this month.

[0505BirdmanJr]

this is the funniest O-SPAN video that i've have seen.

[42317]

I like big butts. *lol*

[TearD6]

For some reason, I sense that everyone in the chamber is ignoring him. I wonder if it's really like that in the real Congress?

[ameddin73]

It is.

[albertspangler]

Yes!

[gravityvertigo13579]

halfway through, that video went south fast. that guy's in big trouble.

[bittergunowner12]

Sounds like something a Congressman would do.

[isamtator]

LOL

[sadie0087777]

well, michelle O is beautiful. Sometimes when i think about the fuse they created when she wore "sleeveless" dress, i could not help thinking they were jealous of her

[adma1987]

because these comments are all by the same person, they either posted too many comments or spewed idiotic shite a bit too much and decided to remove it

[041744]

Why are so many comments being removed?

[crocksrock101]

lolololololololol

[overdressedunderage]

phantomlyric, strongsad

let's try to get over ourselves

[opaz79]

humans came from monkeys and white man came from black man, read a book

[telewebservices]

Bail us out of here!!

[Nostradamus86]

'Now's our chance.'

 Laughed so hard.

[gnihtyrevEnoitseuQ]

Another miss. Haven't seen a quality Onion vid in a while, just my opinion.

[Fa771n9]

Subsection D... Subsection F... ???

[RaynorX]

those must be some high-tech sandbags

[LeeroyFan101]

Alcohol the grand daddy of regret.

[moldybakedbeans]

im not high enough for this i guess

[delatroy]

this one is pretty shit :/

[FunkyFrancek77]

nah, it's just below their standard level - there's nothing surprising about this one

[Mineav]

Now's our chance...

[Shaunt1]

Congress is a joke anyways.