How to Tell If Your Friends Are Real

[ZombifiedGuitarist]

3:13 Awww yeah, again. :3

[mnypwrrspkt]

the girl is a find.. shes funny too. the brunette.

[TidalCat]

Poor Kassandra! You don't have to be homeless, you can live in the abandoned house next to mine!

You'll have to share with the raccoons, though... >_>

[andybpiano]

Bea Arthur jokes = win.

[souske25]

Cassandra is hot

[ZombifiedGuitarist]

Kassandra /drool

[sdeldonno]

@ZombifiedGuitarist Seconded!

[IamaRifle]

THOSE WERE NOT TABLESPOONS!

[blubanana16]

1:11 pause and i lold

[redaxxx]

You guys get WAAAAAY too few views. Best channel on Youtube, PERIOD.

[Joffyar]

Fucking hell how tall is Swaim?

[Cracked]

@Joffyar

He's a good 6'3. But on his tippy toes he's like...whoa.

[Joffyar]

@Cracked

If I was a girl I would probably want to see his genitals... in my face.

[sanchezbone09]

@Cracked Booyah! I've got two inches on him. It makes me genuinely happy to know I'm taller than the legendary Swaim.

[ajnode]

It fell down on the fact that you tried to use a woman to be funny.

[wbrice83186]

Michael Swaim is my favorite living thing

[LadyInTheRadiatorrr]

It makes my life that you guys drew out the real constellation for orion. ASTRONOMY FTW.

[DeepAbsentia]

Hey, im a long addicted of Cracked, but this is shit.

[PattyMMelt]

@DeepAbsentia

"im a long addicted of Cracked"

Your comment is shit, and your criticism is invalid.

[DeepAbsentia]

@PattyMMelt Yea, and you are not funny.

Seems fair to me. Let's see how we live with those facts.

[benry007]

why do you guys even bother with this stuff its garbage, the after hours and agents of cracked shows are the good ones

[KazeOrion]

Totally saw that image of Tifa from Final Fantasy VII at 2:44!

[MuseseekerMan]

i like kassandra

[persianchick28]

makes me think of funny or die network or tim and eric awesome show

[tickity456]

Michael's fake..? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[milovarquiel]

what about cracked, they're my friends here on youtube, are they telling me lies?

[kmacmuzikmafia27]

Yo, you misspelled "identifying."

[jbear0000]

I sure am glad they didn't say anything about being married to a blow up doll or I could end up a broken shell of a man.

[jbear0000]

How did you get a photo of my back?

[BobCassidy]

I didnt like this. Not working for me at all. Dr Cone sounds and acts like Crispin Glover, which is never a good thing. The jokes fall flat too. Not even a snigger from me :-(

More after hours would be tops.

[sgtsmith141]

press the FUCK out of 3

[momothelemur]

MOAR AFTER HOURS!

[JonPL]

Kassandra's hot. Very hot.

[rubenismaster]

These are so useful. I found out all my friends are "fakes," yay! Oh... *sad smile*

[rockafeladave]

i lost my testicle to cassandra...

[MercsForHire]

When he stood up at the end i thought he wasnt wearing pants..

[MattisseWH]

This series always makes me think of Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Also I have a friend names Orion lol (And he's not a constellation, I checked)

[zulukydd]

LOL do you know how long i spent trying to pause the "WELCOME, BACK" image lool exactly at 0:24 :)

[heinzie5]

give swaim his own series again! he is da man! also my brother wont beleive that he is a robot...

[badcloud56]

Cracked, you guys ROCK D CASBAH

[badcloud56]

^ for most of your vids. This one I thought was a bit tame

Cassandra's is super cute by the way

[Gorbatchevisky]

1:11 ahahahahahahahaa

[SolidGoldKalashnikov]

dammit i knew i didn't have real friends

[JanderStrahd]

Kassandra ♥♥♥

[killaspongebob666]

is michael swaim like 6 foot 7 or something?

[zuser]

Not something you wanna watch right after taking a Nap, I had a hard time following what was going on.

[TheFXMen]

The first video I disliked ever... sorry

[Monkeyboy92037]

more swaim

[NapanTR]

Qassandras sexy

[TheDonutFox]

Cassandras cute.

[DJBludLust]

These are great videos. I love these.

[incudude311]

Kassandra is very pretty.

[kabutosenseiisback]

wheres gazelle??

[str4v4g4nte]

Swain is a gargoile?

[rcon1012]

alright. fine. I am the one who has to say it huh? NO ONE ELSE WILL SAY IT, IS THAT IT!?!?!?!?!? WELL THEN FINE, I'LL BE THAT GUY.

*ahem*

I WANT TO STICK MY MEMBER IN CASANDRA'S CORN HOLE. (kasandra? idk)

[Vajrayana514]

There is just so much going on at every second of this

[ThatNotSoAznKid]

Craked, you guys are probably the only posters that actually read the comments on their videos, and I respect that. So, since you maybe reading this right now, no more month long hiatus' please?

[Cracked]

@ThatNotSoAznKid

Yea, we're working on a bunch of stuff right now. DNC season two is in the works, still got a handful of AoC to air, and we're working with a great bunch of talented troupes to bring you guys a bunch of strong, stand-alone skits. Thanks for the support!

[Mustkunstn1k]

@Cracked DNC SEASON TWO?!?!?!

Oooooh boy, now you got me excited.

[SmashedRadio]

@Cracked Season two is in the works!?!? Fuck yeah! I just cancelled my suicide!

Yeah... I'm bad at jokes, but as you can see... I feel really happy:P

[wikired]

@Cracked DNC season 2? So excited! It's been too laaaawnggg

[froanas]

@Cracked DNC!!!!! MS RULES! How's the robot body (you were building to put clippy's mind into)?

[Cracked]

@froanas

Clippy is still a work in progress. Every time we give him arms, he tries to strangle us. We're thinking of making him a teddy bear so his bloody vengeance comes across as adorable neck hugs.

[kbmuncher]

@ThatNotSoAznKid

what about vat19?

[leiliana729]

I love this show

Keep it up!

[smaakjeks]

Love those short 80's musac ditties. :D

[c4r50n1]

I... I want to plow you, Swaim... you and your face.... your gargoiltastic face.

[TasteOfGreen]

If Swaim isn't going to use his face anymore can I have it?

[Vidguy112]

Yes! Cracked Advice Board on youtube :p awesome lol

[hahalaugh4u]

1st and I'm not stupid, im just being random :D

[Cracked]

@hahalaugh4u

That quote is going on our tombstone.

[violenceandpoetry]

@Cracked

you can't have a tombstone, because we won't let you die. just wait - ten minutes after Swaim's declared DoA after an orgy gone horribly wrong, a swarm of Cracked fans will swarm the hospital to take him to the sixth crypt to bring him to life once more!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAH- *cough* I mean... what?

[Cracked]

@violenceandpoetry

Should we have candles and a pentagram ready? Also punch and pie?

[DOOMERSANDSKULLS]

@Cracked OOOH punch and pie ...ya cracked u guys need to jam on it tontoe because u guys are better then 99% of jew tube ight

[JanderStrahd]

@Cracked What better way to honor your Swaim god?

[violenceandpoetry]

@Cracked

The ceremony must be performed in absolute darkness.

All required symbols have already been carved into stone, a depth of 6.66 inches.

Refreshments will be provided, but if anyone wants to bring additional snacks it will be more than welcome - though nothing with peanuts or holy water... Giglamesh is allergic

[Cracked]

@violenceandpoetry

Are gluten free snacks acceptable? What about human skull chalices?

[violenceandpoetry]

@Cracked

So long as it's tasteful, anything goes. For the record, the jokes on cracked.com are indeed tasteful, so... pretty much anything goes, with the exception of holy water and peanuts

[aestevalis0]

@Cracked More people will come if they think you have punch and pie.