Well done making it through unscathed. If I venture into a church, Carl Orff starts playing in my head and I lose any sense of morality I may or may not have inherited from my forebears.
ATHEIST BRANDISHES KNIFE AND SCREWDRIVER DURING SERMON!
Shocked parishioners of the Church of Christ are grateful that the power of Jesus kept anyone from being killed! After the incident the atheist said he doesn't know what all the fuss is about since no one died. He also said that he'd considered killing himself, but the power of Jesus kept him in check until the sermon ended...
lol the only time i heard about a knife in church was the guy that cut a bunch of people up because he believed they were demons in human form.......but he was a christian.......and he used a machete
This is like something I would do. When I was a kid, they had to separate me and my brother after we had a fist fight in the pews. Eventually, they asked our mom to only bring one of us at a time. They told mom we were "devil children."
I think it's state law that you attend a Church as soon as you enter the state of Oklahoma :)
I find Church and Christian radio absolutely fascinating since becoming an Atheist. I love seeing everything with Logical and Rational eyes. It's like disecting a TV commercial and trying to see what the advertiser is using as emotional leverage to sell you on the product.
LOL. Best laugh all day by far. By the way, it's always seemed kind of funny to me how COC excludes instruments in church (for not being biblically prescribed?) but has no problem with 19th/20th-century hymns, mass-printed hymnals, electric lighting, and amplified mics, among other things. And I've noticed what seems to be a characteristic dark suit/50s haircut look, and even a characteristic accent/speaking style, at least among the few coc guys I've run across.
@LazySundayClub Yeah, I think they're fairly centralized to Oklahoma and surrounding states. I mean, they're all over, but more densely gathered around that region. (I could be wrong about that) I'm guessing that accounts for the accent similarity. But there are certainly idiosyncratic phrases, and probably mannerisms too. I know for a fact that when C of C people travel, they will seek out that specific denomination to attend while on the road, so it's the same people mingling nation wide.
I am lucky, my family dose not do the church thing durning christmas. after becoming an Atheist in 2007 I have not been to church in years. the only time I go is durning weddings.
*Wine-O Pulls Dagger in Church Service....threatens baby and claims that he has been falsely accused, and that he has Clean hands! ... Cautious church members unable to capture him before he flees scene. Suspect should be considered armed and dangerous. Details at 6.
@Danmill23 Oh yeah, that stuff is freaky. The church I grew up in didn't do that exact thing, like methodists and catholics do. But the hymns are basically the same thing as far as I'm concerned.
I had a very similar thing on Christmas. I went to church with my family and grandparents. It had been my first time attending a service in well over a year. Except I couldn't play any little games to distract myself because we were on the FRONT FUCKING ROW. The preacher went on and on with inaccuracies, uncited facts, and strawmen. I kept replaying in my head that Pulp Fiction soundbyte of Samuel L Jackson saying "Well, allow me to RETORT."
One guy said a prayer that I swear was 10 minutes.
If we were there together, we'd have some alcohol with us. That is a fact, Jack. If I have to keep silent, then damnit I'm going to need an incentive.
I don't think I could have done what you did. I would have been squirming in my seat to keep quiet. Last time I was in church was back in highschool before I became a full fledged skeptic. Even then I was at most a deist and didn't buy the Christian side of things.
Last time I walked into a church, about 3 yrs ago, was for a lecture by one of the top scientists on the IPCC. He visited our little town to talk about AGW and the Greenland ice sheet. Being the director of the Goddard Space Center's cryospheric dept of research and having just returned from the north, he had current vids of the scary melting going on. It seemed almost laughable to hear such great science within an old >100 yr old church. No religion for once at a church, just facts. Happy 2012
Heh ★★★★★
Katalyzt 2 months ago
I'd start to pluck out my nose hair. XD You do have tweezers in that thing right?
(And fyi I have a thing about not liking hair in my nose so it doesn't hurt anymore when I do it. >.> )
MistressArte 2 months ago
Well done making it through unscathed. If I venture into a church, Carl Orff starts playing in my head and I lose any sense of morality I may or may not have inherited from my forebears.
gabiotta 2 months ago
"WineIsYourFriend" calls a corkscrew a "squiggly thing"? BLASPHEMY!
AncientAtheist 2 months ago
It can make you fall asleep to sit through those sermons but the old people are incredible singers.
truvelocity 2 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@WineisyourFriend
ATHEIST BRANDISHES KNIFE AND SCREWDRIVER DURING SERMON!
Shocked parishioners of the Church of Christ are grateful that the power of Jesus kept anyone from being killed! After the incident the atheist said he doesn't know what all the fuss is about since no one died. He also said that he'd considered killing himself, but the power of Jesus kept him in check until the sermon ended...
(silly grin)
dan91709 2 months ago
Comment removed
dan91709 2 months ago
that squiggly thing is a cork opener, churches have wine, wine is stonger than beer, alcohol makes you numb, numb means you dont heal with that crap.
demondim5 2 months ago
@demondim5 and i post this right before you get to the wine part :/
demondim5 2 months ago
@demondim5 Church of Christ does not have wine. They use grape juice and saltine crackers.
truvelocity 2 months ago
@truvelocity ... well, atleast they know what hells like now...
demondim5 2 months ago
lol the only time i heard about a knife in church was the guy that cut a bunch of people up because he believed they were demons in human form.......but he was a christian.......and he used a machete
wideosvatcher 2 months ago
WTH? no has bothered to ID the knife? lol.
16910
V00D00SIXXX 2 months ago 2
@V00D00SIXXX Haha, hey Voodoo. As I'm sure you know, it's an Evo grip 14. My favorite one right now.
WineisyourFriend 2 months ago
@WineisyourFriend lol, i didnt want to give it away if anyone wanted to guess... thats why i put the Wenger stock# in my comment!
V00D00SIXXX 2 months ago
This is like something I would do. When I was a kid, they had to separate me and my brother after we had a fist fight in the pews. Eventually, they asked our mom to only bring one of us at a time. They told mom we were "devil children."
kelliko70 2 months ago
@kelliko70 Wow..that's fantastic!
WineisyourFriend 2 months ago
@kelliko70 LMAO!
dan91709 2 months ago
...and then he slits his arms, runs up to the altar screaming "Blood For The Blood God!"
blackwolf1200 2 months ago
I think it's state law that you attend a Church as soon as you enter the state of Oklahoma :)
I find Church and Christian radio absolutely fascinating since becoming an Atheist. I love seeing everything with Logical and Rational eyes. It's like disecting a TV commercial and trying to see what the advertiser is using as emotional leverage to sell you on the product.
xxxMST3Kxxx 2 months ago
LOL. Best laugh all day by far. By the way, it's always seemed kind of funny to me how COC excludes instruments in church (for not being biblically prescribed?) but has no problem with 19th/20th-century hymns, mass-printed hymnals, electric lighting, and amplified mics, among other things. And I've noticed what seems to be a characteristic dark suit/50s haircut look, and even a characteristic accent/speaking style, at least among the few coc guys I've run across.
LazySundayClub 2 months ago
@LazySundayClub Yeah, I think they're fairly centralized to Oklahoma and surrounding states. I mean, they're all over, but more densely gathered around that region. (I could be wrong about that) I'm guessing that accounts for the accent similarity. But there are certainly idiosyncratic phrases, and probably mannerisms too. I know for a fact that when C of C people travel, they will seek out that specific denomination to attend while on the road, so it's the same people mingling nation wide.
WineisyourFriend 2 months ago
I am lucky, my family dose not do the church thing durning christmas. after becoming an Atheist in 2007 I have not been to church in years. the only time I go is durning weddings.
TheUnmaskedMagician 2 months ago
*Wine-O Pulls Dagger in Church Service....threatens baby and claims that he has been falsely accused, and that he has Clean hands! ... Cautious church members unable to capture him before he flees scene. Suspect should be considered armed and dangerous. Details at 6.
8journey8 2 months ago
@8journey8 I didn't realize you were a journalist. Good stuff...print it.
WineisyourFriend 2 months ago
lol. hahha. ... I was in church recently. I had the same experience. The group think reinforcement chanting was what I found creepy as well.
Danmill23 2 months ago
@Danmill23 Oh yeah, that stuff is freaky. The church I grew up in didn't do that exact thing, like methodists and catholics do. But the hymns are basically the same thing as far as I'm concerned.
WineisyourFriend 2 months ago
I had a very similar thing on Christmas. I went to church with my family and grandparents. It had been my first time attending a service in well over a year. Except I couldn't play any little games to distract myself because we were on the FRONT FUCKING ROW. The preacher went on and on with inaccuracies, uncited facts, and strawmen. I kept replaying in my head that Pulp Fiction soundbyte of Samuel L Jackson saying "Well, allow me to RETORT."
One guy said a prayer that I swear was 10 minutes.
nemo3590 2 months ago
"but the lyrics are dodgy" :)
mrx00666 2 months ago
If we were there together, we'd have some alcohol with us. That is a fact, Jack. If I have to keep silent, then damnit I'm going to need an incentive.
ProportionalResponse 2 months ago
@ProportionalResponse Oh damn, man, we gotta do that just for the fun of it. I bet that would make the whole experience hilarious.
WineisyourFriend 2 months ago
I don't think I could have done what you did. I would have been squirming in my seat to keep quiet. Last time I was in church was back in highschool before I became a full fledged skeptic. Even then I was at most a deist and didn't buy the Christian side of things.
fractal420 2 months ago
@fractal420 being tactful doesn't make you less skeptical
XamericanX 2 months ago
Last time I walked into a church, about 3 yrs ago, was for a lecture by one of the top scientists on the IPCC. He visited our little town to talk about AGW and the Greenland ice sheet. Being the director of the Goddard Space Center's cryospheric dept of research and having just returned from the north, he had current vids of the scary melting going on. It seemed almost laughable to hear such great science within an old >100 yr old church. No religion for once at a church, just facts. Happy 2012
saxmanchiro 2 months ago