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From: FSMGauss
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  • Those spics are crazy..

  • Wow. I would make a joke about how there are 5 faces of Jesus on my wardrobe. But that woman... she needs to be in a hospital.

  • Oh man. The jesus peeing himself was just classic. Laughed so damn hard..

  • Christians never cease to amuse me

  • I see a dragon.... :/

  • The Church still pushes the shroud off as real.Sheep will never question the sheepdog!!

  • Trust me shes not from Waterbury.Shes a quack from the southern Americas.Brazilian's have got to be the worst.Those fools make me sick with their beliefs.I like them very much,without all the Magic!!

  • Why is Penns fingernail red???

  • @MrAmericanzombie Long story, it is a tribute to his mother who passed away. Look up penn's channel penn says

  • How doe she know those are Jesus' eyes and not Satan's? Just askin'

  • 2:33

    Oh I always been a Christian, I be severing my Lord for so many years.

  • He never noticed the knots in the wood before, so they must have magically appeared there over night! Uh, NO. Just because you're dim and unobservant doesn't mean that things you've never noticed before didn't exist until you finally noticed them. He's never seen ANYTHING like them before! Well that only proves he's never bothered to pay attention to his surroundings, because he has likely seen hundreds of wooden doors with the very same shapes in them caused by knots in the trees.

  • Those knots in the wood look nothing like human eyes. They are too far apart and one is shaped differently from the other. Getting a chill and becoming emotional and crying because you looked at knots in a door and decided they're Jesus's eyes is a sign that you are a very impressionable and irrational person.

  • I thoght the Mary image on the door was Satan's head

    haha

  • looks more like horse eyes then anything else.....

  • .... a door? hahaha when we were young me and my brother always said alfred from powerrangers was on our closet door

  • That stain on the door looks kinda like Sauron's face.

  • Comment removed

  • LOL This show is great

  • 7:25 ... the moment she began to randomly cry, I tried to punch her through my monitor... my hand hurts now. If anyone asks, Satan made me do it, that excuse seems to work now and then.

  • thats goku....

    

  • I'm sorry, but there was no way to fake the Shroud of Turin. Scientists who've studied it couldn't debunk it. Nor could they explain the tilma of Guadalupe

  • @eklera Recently it was discovered that the piece used for carbon dating was a repaired spot from the 13th century. Also, no artist, back then, could have known all the scientific details such as the blood PLASMA stains which can only be obtained from severe stress to the body.

  • @eklera Have to say though that unless there is some evidence that actually directly links the shroud to Jesus then it's utterly irrelevent. If it's fake then it means nothing to Christian faith, it's just a fake like hundreds of others. If it's really the should of a crucified man from 2,000 years ago it's still irrelevent unless it's got a fucking name tag on it saying "we fucking buried da Jesus in this - signed John 32AD".

  • What's been making Penn' fingernail red these last few episodes? O_o

  • @lifeofanidiot He's always painted one of his nails red. It has to do with some shit about keepin' ppl focused on it when he's performing magic tricks or some shit. I don't know.

  • To quote the show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "It might be real, it might be bullshit; but what it *is*, is a god-damed gold mine . . ."

  • Yep, Sauron.

  • The bottom part looks like Goku in SSJ form from Dragonball Z to me.

  • Portal to heaven FTW! XD

  • kinda sad

  • praise be to the holy wood imperfections!

  • What the fuck is wrong with that woman?

  • i saw gene simmons makeup in the door!

  • Good grief. it is truly frightening how many gulllible sheep we have living among us. Seeing Jesus on your bathroom door? Is this woman on medication (or off her medication)?

  • It's official! God is only interested in giving signs to the imaginative and the insane. Maybe it does take a certain amount of insanity to get into heaven...

  • Google image search for: Jesus dog ass

  • Door eyes? My trust in the human race has gone down another several notches...

  • Is that the Panamanian janitor George snookered on Seinfeld?

  • All hail the Door! ... Though, the mary/jesus thing on it, would look more like a devil...but, let's not scare them.

  • People who think they see signs from heaven should be killed for the greater good of humanity.

  • fuck a real job im gonna sell myself some jesus, mary, batman doors! Ka-Ching!!!

  • I'm a Catholic, I believe in God and all that jazz, but some of these supposed signs are pretty stupid. It's just a sandwich! Sure, if someone with cancer ate that sandwich and was suddenly cured, that would be another story, but as it stands it's just a sandwich with a cool burn mark on it.

  • BULLSHIT! That's his beard you daft spaniard!

  • Finally, that door proves the theory all these years of research have led me to believe:

    BATMAN IS GOD!

  • i saw an angel in the door... actually i imagined it. before they've shown the eye's. i feel kinda sorry for that people...

  • Jesus said not to whorship idols, yet people whorship grilled cheese sandwhiches in his name

  • The virgin Mary bleeded from her ass like crazy once...probably too much anal.

  • To quote a hilarious south park episode, "DUMB, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB, DUMB.

  • @sallick07 you forgot that every time penn and teller are on there should be, ''SMART, SMART, SMART, SMART, SMART''

  • @sallick07 and to quote the late great frank zappa, "dumb all over, a little ugly on the side..."

  • That woman sees Mary, her son sees Jesus, Penn sees Batman, I see Sauron.

  • @GradeALurker

    That's Sauron alright. It makes sense, because The Lord Of The Rings says Sauron exists and if it's in The Lord Of The Rings, it must be true. If it wasn't true, how would people know about it.

    Holy shit, religious reasoning is easy.

  • @SSTTEEAALLTTHH Its also down right fucking stupid!!!

  • @SSTTEEAALLTTHH *bows down*

  • @GradeALurker The saddest part is I see Sauron to.

  • @GradeALurker ur all wrong, its obviously a hi-def image of jar jar binks. dumby. ;)

  • @GradeALurker I also see Sauron.. must be a sign.. prepare the hobbits!

  • After she said she saw god's eyes then the camera zoomed in on the wood knots, i was stunned for about 5 seconds, then I lost it.

  • @TheStrawberryLolicon nothing like a good trip

  • The figure in the door is Gandalf.

  • Haven't finished watching this whole episode but looking forward to it. Just that my wife is native Mexican and MAN her family can be so damn f***ing stuperstitious. They can get a real hard-on when they see the Virgen of Guadalupe in a tree trunk or dogshit. Real stupid. Just glad wife isn't so devout...er brainwashed.

  • The Vatican *knows* it's fake, and they've known it's fake ever since the person who created it confessed way back in... the 1300s. But people insist on believing bullshit, and the Church is not one to discourage a paying customer.

  • For those of us who live in or near the declining cesspool of Waterbury, CT, it is no surprise at all that this woman lives there.

  • 3:15 I SEE JESUS IN THE MIRROR!!!!!! :O

  • Allcock! Just like in Carry On Teacher!

  • Pareidolia 

  • yeeessssss....MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!.­..... jesus is watching you!........ WATCHING YOU TAKE A SHIT YA DUMBASSES!

  • I have a wooden table for my computer, and I can see the face of a screaming turtle in the wood's design, but I don't think it's God.

  • The mind sees what it chooses to see.

  • i hope she dont catch a glance of my knoted asshole...the brown eye of jesus

  • @ kcdummy At least we can prove the spaghetti monster exsists :]

  • And this morning on HLN - the seat of stupidity and irrelevance in cable news - they took about five minutes of broadcast time to talk about a a string of ivy growing on a telephone pole that people think looks like Jesus on a cross. Personally, I thought it looked more like Zemus from Final Fantasy 4.

  • F U, university! I'm gonna be make a fortune selling doors with knots in them.

  • theres no need for them to be so insulting.

  • @JohnAlanWoods They insult everything because they would get sued if they use the words fraud or liar but don't get sued if they call them assholes, bullshit, and motherfuckers.

  • @madcram Lol never looked at it that way!

    

  • @JohnAlanWoods Penn has talked in several public forums about the fact that he uses pretty nasty language and persistent insults in this show. The reason he usually gives is that without the swearing, nudity, and anger, BULLSHIT really is a very sweet and innocent show; and that doesn't sell well.

  • @JohnAlanWoods Why shouldn't they be insulting? Should they be respectful of stupid, dishonest, crazy people? Why? The show is called "Bullshit," so it's clear up front that they aren't going to be playing nice. I'm just really curious as to why you think being insulting is so wrong.

    I think Madcram is right about them avoiding lawsuits, too.

  • when i look at my door i see the word " fuck off". that might be cause of the sign i put there or cause god wasnt happy about the joke i told about the preacher and the little boy.

  • Placebo effect banging on all pistons.

  • I had a potato chip that looked like Jesus. I promptly ate it.

  • Holy crap, I am literally scared by these religious wackos. Could it possibly get worse when I view parts 2 and 3? In that case I think I'd rather pass.

    Seriously. These people are so sad I can't believe what else they are capable of in the name of "faith".

  • If you WANT to se Jesus or whatever in something, you usually do.

  • @Ayanami1000 Yup, thats called pareidolia....

  • I have a water stain on my ceiling that looks like Buddha.

    And another one that looks like Burt Parks.

  • The top part, I saw Baphomet. And the darker part at the bottom looked like a devil head. Hey, that's just what jumped out at me.

  • the pictures are symmetric because at lamination they match the patterns, the image is not natural, or atleast half of it

  • "religious nut doesn't fall far from religious nut tree "LOLZ

  • Turin shroud is hard to say its haox because its hard to fake.

  • I farted and the turd told me to go suck a dick ....is this signs of hell or just something that should have died in digestion?

  • And this is part of the reason religion is so tough to dispel. It is emotionally based, the people far too often rely on easily fooled senses and settle for vague shit.I feel sorry for that woman and her son.

  • This is one of the 100 reasons I hate religious people. They're schizophrenics.

  • OMG 9:00 that's my professor!

  • 6:45 your mind will see what it really really wants to see, whether its fact or not is irrelevant.

  • i used to date a girl from Mexico years ago and her mother was religious beyond belief. she would set in her room for hours surrounded by candles praying to a huge cross on the wall and it was very off putting to be around her. she would always try to bring that shit up with everyone and it got old really fast. she was fucking creepy.

  • Penn and teller are opening the eyes of the superstitious. we are lucky we have them.

  • LOL @7:22 HIS BEAUTIFUL EYES!!!

  • Believe what ever you want see what ever you want but am certain there is such things as a talking Snake and Unicorn.

  • looks like a vagina...

  • I see a Dragon-ball Z energy orb on that door lol 7:23

  • "It looks more like the Batman logo to me." LOLZ

  • later on, the women saw a side way face of moses on her mechanical dildo pump

  • @SNESosT and he gave her a burning bush!!

  • hmm, seems the parents are always the more religious nuts, till you meet the grandparants

  • the thing with the colors and painting things in the intro. what is that thing called?

  • since when do physical carved layerings have to do with jesus's physical features?

  • every other show, im really happy for you, and imma let you finish, but BULLSHIT! is one of the greatest TV shows OF ALL TIME!

  • For the record I am an atheist.So if you think the shroud of turin is indeed related to the biblical jesus then you are screwed.In the Bible it says it is sin for men to have long hair.This guy has long hair and if he is jesus he supposedly sinned?Furthermore (somewhere) in the bible it is said that jesus,after his death,was covered by 3 pieces of cloth not just one.Even if you think it is the real jesus here it looks silly...

  • 7:40

    Oh. FUCK. NO.

    Geeggghhh..

  • The face in the door looks a bit like a horse.

    That proves it!

    Jesu is a horse?

  • @2camjohn maybe it's that jesus owns a horse?

  • @FSMGauss white horse

  • @FSMGauss or the black one?

  • @FSMGauss

    Mr. Ed is the true messiah of our time.

  • @FSMGauss Oh god Jesus Is a troll!

  • @FSMGauss maby the horse own jesus o_O

  • @2camjohn Well he was born in a stable. 

  • @2camjohn looks more like the cover of john lennon's "imagine". HOLY SHIT!!! ITS JOHN LENNON!!!

  • @2camjohn Actually, looks like a schematic view of a vagina. Therefore, Jesus is a pussy.

  • @2camjohn No no no, man was made in Gods image and we know man evolved from the same ancestor as monkeys, thus God must be Donkey Kong, but it's well known that a Donkey is very similar to a horse. This is irrefutable proof of God being a giant barrel throwing monkey, pwning his sinners and rewarding those that can climb the levels of life with a princess.

  • @2camjohn Could be a donky, jesus rode in on an ass ;D

  • @Dracofangstudios

    Oh that kind of ass. I always figured he rode one of his apostle's ass... Wow, that explain the upset Christians when I suggest Jesus was gay...

  • *sigh* If you look at any randomly shaded object [wood, charred objects] as well as things like clouds, smoke and fire, you'll see a "face" or two. You see it because your eyes scout it out, it's science, we look for things that look familiar. When I take a shit and look down at the cheap linoleum in my bathroom, I can see at least three faces. This woman is clearly a dumbass.

  • @Andjealous second, the carbon dating tests were performed on fibers taken from the cloth in the early 90s, and were tested to be only 800 yrs old. BUT in 2002, a (jewish) scientist discovered that the fibers were taken from a 9th century 'reweave' section done by french nuns to restore some of the damage from the fire when it was under portuguese templar control. also, they thing was in a fire. fire degrades carbon and obscures the dating tests. i googled and did a simple search. its all there

  • @guineapiggyman I think we are going around in circles. In my original reply I said that I would grant for the argument that all the premises are true. I then asked how you came to your conclusion and by that meant to imply how this leads to the belief in a god or what it tells you about them. I asked this because even if this shroud is real ( the imprint of a crucified man) I don't accept it as proof of any other claim. This is what I am interested in and why I originally asked.

  • @Andjealous but if the shroud is real, then it inherently proves one of my 3 hypotheses. what part arent u getting? how else would it have been made. man didnt have nuclear energy back then. aliens might have. a supernatural source is proof of somethiing more. so if it is real, then it proves on e of those

  • @guineapiggyman please let me know how you think it was produced

  • the funny thing is, it was JEWISH guy who proved that the original shroud tests were tainted (the fibers tested, were taken from a 'recover', done in the 1200's by french nuns to repair damage sustained in the fire when it was uder the templars control in portugal) DO YOUR HOMEWORK! (im not a christian)

  • I laughed so hard when she said the knots on the door were Jesus' eyes

  • Leonardo Da Vinci sent me a message. There was something like the Nona Lisa in the toilet this morning.

  • Antonio (Matilda's son) is FINE!! Yummm....Too bad he's such a f-ing nutcase.

  • Antonio (Matilda's son) is FINE!! Yummm....Too bad he's such a f-ing nutcase. 

  • man, everybody who bitches religion at me, and then lose the arguement, and so they say 'your just an arrogant atheist", and i say, why not be arrogant, when you will always be right on these situations, no matter what!

  • My grandmother is a Puerto Rican religious nut too, albeit Baptist, so I'm getting a kick.

  • hes wrong. they never proved that the shroud was fake. it was in a fire, which degrades carbon 14 levels, making it appear younger, etc etc. if anyones interested, i have all the facts on the shroud that are up to date as of now. just ask me if ur interested

  • @guineapiggyman Okay, then let's assume it is 100% real. How does that prove anything about Jesus being god?

  • @Andjealous well, since it was produced 2000 years ago, and has radiation imprinting, im guessing whoever made it was either an alien, had nuclear machinery, or was god. pick one. ;)

  • @guineapiggyman Okay, again let's assume all of this is true. How then do you get that it must either have been made by aliens or a god or special machinery?

  • @Andjealous ummm, did u even read what i wrote?

    let me put it to u this way....

    how did they produce radiation imprinting 2000 years ago? (or even 800 years ago?)

    im anxious to see you answer...

  • @guineapiggyman First, I haven't been able to validate your claims online. The only radiation imprinting reference I can find is a very vague article from World Net Daily. Second, radiation is a common and natural occurrence. Third, the testing of the shroud is well short of the 2000 year old mark.But putting all that aside I have still not heard how you go from, "This cloth has the imprint of a man on it, therefore aliens, special machinery or god has done this."

  • @Andjealous learning disability, eh?...

    i didnt say that because it has the image on it, then its a god or machine or alien. i said because that image is a radiation burn, what else could make that? and that type of radiation is not natural occerence. beta radiation is natural, that was alpha radiation (im not gonna explain the difference, cuz it would just confuse u more).

    

  • @guineapiggyman Argument from ignorance dude, look it up. This is what Andjealous was trying to point out to you. How does not knowing equate to YOUR wild ideas must be right? It doesn't. Sadly, it seems the learning disability is yours, and I bet you don't even know it..

  • This show should be AT LEAST 50 minutes long.

    30 minutes is not enough!

  • I was eating some pasta and I swear I saw the flying spaghetti monster.

  • @kcdummy most clever comment ever! wow nice!

  • @kcdummy omg lol spaghetti monster that brings back memories

  • oh lord!..are you kidding me. I come from my hispanic background and i am so sick of this shit lol

  • YOU TO? DAM, I THOUGHT I WAS THE CHOSEN PROPHET!

  • @Ryagful

    Well, next month it's definately MY turn dammit!!!

  • @jerico641 Jerico641 was eager to pick up the soap and win the admiration of the other inmates.

  • @kcdummy pay homage to his noodly fucking appendage....or die!!!

  • There is no santa... there is no jesus... We are the gods... we formed from bits of the "ether"... we can effect our reality.... we can destroy sodom and gommorah 10X over. We fly faster than Allah on his magical horse... Part the Red Sea? We stopped the Great Falls!! We wrote the Consititution... a document wholely richer than the bible. We have peered into the depths of space and through the smallest objects... I have never seen a diety... how do we know WE arent the gods?

  • Oh lord I have those knots in my door aswell. Buddha is trying to tell me something.

  • @ABEJOHNDERDANSER

    *aqua buddha

  • That picture of the blonde Jesus in the Hispanic woman's house - is there a name for that? As a child, I'd always seen dark-haired portrayals of Jesus (you know, because he was JUDEAN), but I've seen that particular portrait frequently as an adult when people are making fun of a "blonde Jesus."

  • *twitch*

    MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClEs

    I am weak.

  • Comment removed

  • 5:30 -- formerly known as Colonel Sanders - founder of KFC?

  • The lady and her son are so ignorant, so are the people who believe those are gods eyes . Those are the knots of wood not a miracle.

  • The only thing keeping christians alive is that average people believe whatever they were raised on. They never dare question their religion for fear of hell, or they just never think for themselves about religion. I regard religion as a kind of average ignorance. Rather than try to reason and use logic, people strengthen themselves in their false beliefs.

  • Lady, those are what we call knots, they are quite commonly formed in wood, GET OVER IT!!

    rofl...