So You Want to Write a Novel

[QuangNokonoko]

And that's why I write short-stories.

[tomspy77]

Thumbs up if you agree that King's On Writing is a great book on writing!

[iluveminem89]

I love it!!!!! Great programming!

[arieslovetheram]

ck out xtranormal "i wrote a novel"

[Gabriel7211989]

I hope I don't sound this way when I talk to my girlfriend about writing a novel... LOL

[AvrilL998]

I already wrote the first page, it's really awesome * serious face*

[zimmawoman]

this is hilarious!

[ACSDistanceEducation]

Ha ha ha! Love this!!! Our writing students would love it too.

[MrPenniethepena]

Dying over here!!! Loved this!!!

[gamemaster9210]

So, I think I'm ready to write a novel.

[srooksbybaby]

ck out this new one: type in "xtranormal i wrote a novel"

[MerlinWrites]

Explodes all the pleasant little myths that wannabe writers tell themselves.

"Have you ever attempted to write a novel-length manuscript?"

"I've already written the first page. It's really awesome. I plan to finish by the end of the week."

Even better:

"I'll just write all the agents a mass email and let them fight over me. I'll take the one that can promise me a six-figure advance."

And take it to Random House. BA-HA-HA!!!

[Peragulator]

I love how people like mlhatch think that they need to "explain" everything to others just because Mommy and Daddy told them their opinion means something. Thanks mlhatch, but "we" get it. Go read something.

[zer0access]

Hahah! This would make an amazing TV mini series :D!

[HeSpeaks7]

lol this sounds like something off of arby and the chief

[TeletubyofDOOM]

"I have already written the first page."

What a feat! Never seen so much finished in such a short time!

[mlhatch]

I love how people watching this video miss the whole point that writing something worthwhile takes time and practice, it's not something you jump into. She's not calling new writers idiots, she's saying you can't be serious about writing if you don't even like reading!!!! Reading is fundamental!!! Read, Read, Read, Read, Read!!!! Then Write, Write, Write, Write, Write your ass off!!!

*Thank you for your time*

[m4l4chi]

this is soooo lolz

[MuhammadVonRaven]

I wish I could kill you and get away with it.

[arieslovetheram]

this makes me laugh every time!

[iti14]

I love how the automatically-generated Google ad on the side of this video is for "Outskirts Press: Write. Publish. Market." IRONY!

[aniart13]

lmao

[aniart13]

"you may actually inspire all the agents in new york to come hunt you down and burn you at the stake."

"i dont think i'm making myself clear."

[cha1tman]

lol

[ThaEther]

Aw the brown one crushed my dreams :(

[bunniesbunniesbunnie]

God, I've been working on my writing for years. This screams everything that I hear from people whenever I say "Well, I've been learning how to write for 15 years or so". It's always 'Learn to write? Any idiot can write!'

Indeed, sir. Any idiot can write. Only the good idiots make a living at it.

[MeOnStuff]

Wow. That was hilarious.

[Mozartmostly]

Great writing here!

[allshalldelight]

Thank you Maureeeeeen

[rainabraina]

Ohh Maureen......

[WasinTungsten]

Maureen Johnson sent me here!

[zap859]

cool....

[SuperQuinoa]

haha I Love this!!

[MBLAQbby]

optimist -.-

[ChapelHillToHarlem]

Hahaha. "I have a gun in my car. I'm going to go get it now." The monotone voices makes it even funnier.

[simpleplanfan011]

"I wish I could kill you and get away with it." LMFAO.

[777Tellme]

Ha! This is funny! Poor girl is going to freak. Seriously, though, everybody; if you want to be an author, be prepared for some hard work. It's not easy! Good luck to all of you! You can do it!

[LordofNazgul95]

How the hell are people offended by this? If you take this seriously, you don't have the mental capacity to be a good author anyway.

[AnnaSwanson48]

That is soooo funny! I don't get how some people can find this offensive. :/

[UltraAnalisis]

jjjj im the pink character, i have never readed a single book not completely i stil see myself as a very unique person who was able to almoust finish high school without reading just be lisening, im the pink character i will write a story very soon i have started writhing many stories and including some filosofy, idea comes then at the 1/2 of my work i find the trut there is a book already with my idea, i must use my weirdness to come with a weird idea cause only those are available on the world

[starfireelf15]

i think as long as you write for the joy of it and not primarily to get money or recognition, you should be fine. (on the other hand, if the kind of writing that makes you happy involves Mary-sues, just stop now.)

[Elementer117]

I know this supposed to be funny, but it's like its goal is to discourage people from writing. Truth is, I hope NO aspiring authors are like the dumbass in this video. It's kinda a insult to us wannabe writers.

The whole 20 years to hone your craft thing seems a bit extreme.

The 10,000 queries a year and only accepting two is sorta depressing.

And who the fuck in their right mind would call or send a mass email to agents?

Don't insult me again, sir.

[Cardywhite111]

brill



[Mackay878]

Another tip: when speaking with an agent, never use the terms "fiction novel" or "student of the human condition".

[Mackay878]

@yurismir1 I thought it sounded corny.

[hannahbeth1044]

haha that's the voice on my Kindle

[fictisha]

The truth is what makes this so funny. :)

[willheath22]

"Have you ever read a book?"

"I watched all the Harry Potter movies"  lol

[SROCeallaigh]

@willheath22 if you've seen the movies you've read the books, that's how interesting an author J K Rowling is...well at least she has a reasonable grasp of the English language, which is more than what Stephenie Meyer has...

[SSSSSmilZ]

@SROCeallaigh Actually the movies are NOTHING like the books ...

[SROCeallaigh]

@SSSSSmilZ apart from the films being better made than the books are written (which doesn't take much) they seem more or less the same...seems a girly ponce and a gormless emo zombie are perfect for the roles...

[CrocodileMacodile]

>A Macbook Air

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF­FFFF.

[WongeneKIM]

This has so many views!~~~~~~~~

[IwillKillYourCereal]

Stephanie Meyer should see this

[MobKnowledge]

@IwillKillYourCereal She's probably already seen it 29 times.

[IwillKillYourCereal]

@MobKnowledge I hope she feels proud of herself then XD

[AngryScissor]

@IwillKillYourCereal What you and the sixty-five upvoters are experiencing is called envy, and it is an agonizing feeling.

[IwillKillYourCereal]

@AngryScissor I do feel that she is not a good author, but I'm definitely not envious of her. I couldn't write a novel if my life depended on it, and nor do I want to. I'm majoring in Physics for crying out loud XD

[RinnyRin69]

-13.

[AlwaysThere4YouX]

How uninspiring. I think I'm just gonna go crawl up in a corner now and rethink how I plan on spending my life.

[me0forever]

@AlwaysThere4YouX Same here. Maybe i shouldn't have watched this video...

[RedneckYachtClubber]

This makes me worried my book will "suck" :(

[InstaSmile]

I feel like I've said at least half of the things the aspiring novelist has said... But maybe not as seriously...

[Thewayslidegang]

search THE WAYSLIDE GANG TEASER.

[Thewayslidegang]

ha

[bloodredeyes666]

Absolutely golden. More new "writers" need to see this.

[Gnickk]

I love the tone in "...some kind of dork?"

[DEbargelover123]

how he expect to be a good writer if he doesnt make no revisions in his writing. DUH it doesnt take a rocket scientist to know that you need to revise your work before you publish it. LOL

[luckstergal]

I need to show this to my writer friend. XD

[jaffajaf]

If it worked for Stephanie Meyer...

[saldebus]

wow, that's me. I am writing a novel that will be a movie and I'm not sure if I'll direct it yet. This video is too long...I get it. He's talented like me. She's jealous and lazy. She should shoot herself. Now back to my novel Star Fights...

[JohnnyLProductions]

thanks!!! this hel-ped!

[RedDaVincy]

So wats ur book about.

[sparklecat03]

This is amazing! You had me at "MacBook Air." I am so sick of listening to people's "edgy" ideas and watching them jot down their future bestsellers in Moleskines and MacBooks. Not everybody is talented!

[truecaligirl86]

Oh this is too perfect. I am aspiring writer as well...and this is just awesome...ha ha, I love how this represents how important it is to research writing/publishing and making sure to read! Ah and the robotic voices are great, by the way.

[DEbargelover123]

@truecaligirl86  am a inspiring writer too and this is actually informative.

[Rainfish14]

George Lucas once said that you have to love what you do or you won't get past the first hurtle. Combine these two koalas and you'll get a great writer, one who is imaginitive and ambitions enough to get something done and one who is realistic enough to realize its not easy and not always or rewarding. I also said all of this in a monotone.

[mastergunner99]

This is hysterical! As a novelist, there's great info in here. What a great way to push realism in such a humorous way.

[chaoboomer]

"Oh my God. I think my heart just stopped."

[Kerchie14]

oh, is there any subtitle there? i didn't get the slangs....haha...

[MayomiCCz]

THAT, is funny XD

[yalinegurl1]

"Are you ready to find yourself on page fifty, and think of an even better idea for a novel?"

This is hilarious.

[kimdkus]

This is hysterical!! I know newbies who have said this stuff. I've also had the "I'll give you 10% of the profits. ' phrase. LOL!!

[LoveAndHearts0]

@helium73

Don't confuse ignorance with imagination. It's good to be hopeful that you'll get published, but being arrogant about it will get you nowhere.

[helium73]

Pink bear's got a good attitude. Unfortunately brown bear is realistic but do the brown bears actually ever get published? She may be realistic but with that attitude I doubt she will even want to start writing. I'll bet a lot of published writers had pink bears attitude and that's what kept them going without getting bored and discouraged. I've been an aspiring writer too and brown bear view is what happens to most aspiring writers.  But whose got more imagination?

[ilovetowritealot]

OMG! As a novelist, this is so freakin' hilarious. It captures the essence of the ignorance of the general populace when it comes to the sudden ambition to write a novel, and shows the fallacies of such thinking. It is HARD to get one published, believe me. If I didn't already have an established fanbase, I don't know if it would ever have happened at all. I worked on my first novel for fifteen years!

[wandaxxo]

Lmfaoo " I wish I could kill you and get away with it " haha ohh myy

[ihaveautubeaccount]

The pink one is Stephanie Meyer.

[ireneyrobert]

Thank God, I am not like the pink thingy. It's a relief I know what I am getting into when I realized I wanted to write.

[mrswinchester248920]

Am I the only one curious what a "science-fiction crossed with chick lit crossed with literary fiction" novel would be like?

[iria4285]

@mrswinchester248920

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?

[Mackay878]

@mrswinchester248920 A girl goes to another planet where she meets a vampire and they fall in love but then they die as they speak Shakespearean English and cry.

[truecaligirl86]

@mrswinchester248920 a Star Wars novel from Princess Leia's perspective with a Great Gatsby spin on it.

[BobRhynoplasty]

What? So you're telling me writing isn't that easy? I can't finish a book in a week and expect an EDITOR to edit it for me? How totally lame is that!

[PianoGirl091]

I am an aspiring writer, and this is sooooo funny. Sad thing is, there are really people out there who think it is this easy.

[Mackay878]

@PianoGirl091 Yep, Watership Down was rejected thirteen times before it was published.

[MrsWinchester1000]

Haha this is hilarious!

[medzshakes]

I'm thinking I'll only hire an agent who'll promise me a six-figure deal.. How fantastically stupid it all sounds coming from the mouth of a overambitious pig

[LauraAnnieA]

haha, that's funny... i might base a character on you

[greasedgorilla]

Lol this is great

[PaulKyriazi]

I've heard these exact statements from would be writers, but only thought what the lady is thinking out loud. Sad but true. Dwkazzie, you hit the nail right on the head. Nice job. You are indeed a good writer. Keep writing.

[TheDarkCastro]

Talking like them really do sucks.. e.e

[cartens33]

Why is the white bear always the idiot? I think that's racist! lol

[tallred93]

I have a gun in my car. I'm going to go get it now.

[Filidhe]

I wish I could kill you now and get away with it.

[BigSmilezAllDay]

U should watch milky and friends its a pawz movie butFUNNY

[PandoraFireflies]

"I think my heart just stopped." <That just made my day.

"I wish I could kill you and get away with it."

Man, I deal with people like this all the time. I need to tell them to watch this.

[StrainChain]

Damn, story of my life. -.-'

[xcelover11x]

The orange bear reminds me of Rebecca Bloomwood in the Shopaholics series

[annsheybani]

Oh my God, this so damn funny.

[kirbyman1kanden7pf]

You can use the same tactic my professor uses. Write a book and force the students to buy it for your classes by assigning a report on it.

[Toontownsaver2]

What the heck e's saying some random stuff LOL NICE THAT'S UT IM TALKIN ABOUT! HAHAHAHA

[holycrapwtf]

depressing

[UnkleRonnie]

"RACIST SUPERHERO" is the funniest xtranormal video on YouTube!!

[leighia1]

wow. this killed my dreams

[holycrapwtf]

@leighia1 same here

[Standuble]

I may write a novel about the giant eye of their's. It may suck as much as the novel I wrote for the NaNoWriMo competition last November!

[rteduits]

Boring

[albanicky]

Whoever makes these has killed about 5 of my dreams. Thanks!

[sarahthewriter1]

This is great :) Hilarious.

[dracmy]

XD the pink one sounds like the dude from Tales of Mere Existence

[splitsecond588]

Very interesting!!!

[programmer437]

This is rather sad. It's discouraging people from taking up writing by high-lighting the most negative aspects of the industry. Not everyone has to study literature before becoming a successful writer; and even more importantly, you don't have to even sell your books to benefit from writing as a creative outlet. The trick is to encourage writing first, worry about making money off of it later.

[Thunderbuck]

@programmer437 There's a HUGE difference between taking up writing as a creative outlet and expecting to be rich from it immediately.

[ZeroDrawn]

@programmer437 While it is possible that individual interpretation could lead one to a discouraging conclusion, I see the message as a warning to those who come to believe that writing is somehow a quick and easy route to fortune and success. Creatively, it is an amazingly fulfilling hobby that grants me a kind of freedom I can't experience elsewhere, but taking the path to publishable material does demand, among other things, a lot of resilience and discipline, as well as respect for the art.

[bbphnix]

wait wait wait wait wait.....

can't you just sell your book yourself? why go through the horrible experience of using a publisher? ..... publisher=corporation; corporation=evil ergo: publisher=evil;

either do it manually... or by the INTERNET! give it about the same price as an app or something; over the internet enough people might buy it to get you a relatively large amount of money

[CrayvenRose]

oh thats nice. she would go get the gun XD

[RoryRaymondHoward]

the 18 dislikes are unpublished novelists

[melanyebaggins]

@RoryRaymondHoward I think most of the 'likes' are too :P I'm an unpublished novelist (or at least, aspiring novelist)

[RoryRaymondHoward]

@melanyebaggins well.... this is awkward

[melanyebaggins]

@RoryRaymondHoward isn't it though? :P

[ScarlettMW]

This should be required viewing for any writer. "Fiction novel!"

[TheLunchInTheSky]

I'm sending this to all my friends that thinks that liking writing means I'm published.

[0Krusnik0]

Oh god xD

[avescharleston]

"I have a gun in my car, I'm going to go get it now."

[IndianaJoker]

As an aspiring writer, this is fucking hilarious.

[melanyebaggins]

@IndianaJoker here here, I was in stitches :D

[IndianaJoker]

@melanyebaggins Yes, bully!

[Elemarth]

Fiction novels? Did he just say fiction novels?

This is hilarious. So exaggerated, but so true.

But please don't think that all people who want to write novels are like this.

[diglztianad]

@Elemarth We aren't

[HellFighter17YT]

Me-the yellowish dog bear thingy

You-Brownish Dog bear thingy

Thank you, you just stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life. Thank you so much! See my book in a couple of years!

[nbptbiz]

I was married to him!

[MissJoey006]

Four words. You are a genius.

This was amazing and the flat voices were the cherry on the sundae of hilarity XD

[quartercherries]

@MissJoey006 One who authors an xtranormal movie has no control of vocal inflections, that is, they are always flat. Besides, this account holder is a megalomaniac. At least he's not a politician or radical terrorist. Yet.

[tulip2111]

I asked a classmate what she was doing after graduation...she said to me "Oh, I am gonna write a novel." ??? WHAT ELSE?? I mean, I am an English major but I am not so disillusioned that I don't realize that there is a certain small, saturated market for traditional English major work. Some of us get into teaching, freelancing and or business, the rest of us return to the coffee shop we were working at during college, and VERY FEW of us become famous. Reality check! Only hard work reaps benefit!

[JapplengUniversity]

I used to work for someone who was like this. Every idea he had he would want to make it into reality because somehow it was innovative, when in reality it wasn't. He had no skills or experience or much of any knowledge in those fields but was pretty good at conning people I quit that place after telling him that he's a moron but seriously, there's never a guarantee with anything ESPECIALLY if you have no idea what you're getting yourself into.

brb going to write a best seller novel about corn

[senrilanka]

"i wish i could kill you" random XDD

[PivotPro333]

Holy shit, I had to take a break at the 1 minute mark. I'm in tears!

[Immarkyo58]

Hard to believe this actually secured an agent. I guess they'd never seen the cartoon version. Well, any stunt in a storm, I guess. Who is the most clueless is the pertinent question?

[Immarkyo58]

Hard to believe this actually secured an agent.. I guess they'd never seen the cartoon version. Well, any stunt in a storm, I guess. Who is the most clueless is the pertinent question?

[qualityshows]

Very nice, but why waste all that time on a novel with so many words? Search qualityshows on wordpress

[idletimekaren]

This is cute. But sadly, so true! Who among us isn't still waiting for that phone call from Random House? lol.

[idletimekaren]

This is cute. But sadly, so true! Who among us isn't still waiting for that phone call from Random House. lol.

[Etaukan]

Oh, merciful gods.

You made me laugh so hard I was crying, and then, since I have a slight cold, I suffered a coughing fit at the same time.

Congratulations, you nearly killed me.

That said, this was fantastic.

[RebelHQ]

good but a bit long

[vicchernobyl]

Minus 13...

[TheMajaaristo]

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MrBrendanRizzo]

Oh, so true. The pale one's arguments are EXACTLY like the ones bad writers use to ignore criticism. It's sad, really.

[frankspencer]

I could write a novel. I just need a story . . . and the time . . .and a voice . . . but I definitely could do it.

[JenSomething]

That made me laugh so much. I wish YouTube had a repeat button.

[O18134]

So sad but ture.