Messy Mondays: Who Would Jesus Date?

[McKaylaTS]

omg this was on my birthday yay!!!!

[James0roll1]

13 people are atheist. :3

[authorkaytlan101]

Omg I love him! haha "This means that I will wait till I am married to have a wife." hahahhahaha I have a purity ring...It doesn't look like an old SillyBandz wrapped slightly too tightly around my finger though :P haha

[bmatteson11]

Your videos make me laugh so hard!

[SwiminthePoole]

IS JORDAN A CHRISTIAN? Or just likes making fun of them?:/

[15faithvongott]

@SwiminthePoole yeah he is. I'm very sure he is. A very different christian.

[DreamDeeply37]

@SwiminthePoole He is one. I think...haha

[the1stanimekaratepup]

As a Christian, ask yourself: do these words show love to this person?

If the answer is no, I don't know, or maybe, it should not be in your video.

[MermaidLilli1]

Why are you so mean to Jordan..... :(

[bfb8688]

SUNSET RIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kikumaruxamuto]

His muscles are really distracting. I have to watch the video twice in order to focus on his words instead of his facial expressions and arm muscles >.>

[RoseMelodyWrites]

Hahaha you are seriously AWESOME! :) Thank you for just making me out right laugh that I almost chocked :P No....but seriously....you are great! :)

[laugibremo]

is it me or did you said: "This means I'm going to wait until I'm married to have a wife" ahahah

[BobolinaBookworm123]

i'm sorry, but i got distracted by your arm muscles o.O

[ToaRanen7]

Your crazy.

[marinLolson]

At 2:52-ish, Jordan looks like Ashton Kutcher.

[Epicfilms12]

@marinLolson Why did you say that! Now i will never look @ him the same again!!! :( lol

[ScoutGrunty]

I CANT PRONOUCE YOUR NAME MARCUS!

i rofl

[Riptor552]

1:12 I nostalgia'd so hard...

[ZombiChad]

SUNSET RIDERS! YESSS!

[dhiz92]

my favorite pickup line is "Hi my names Caleb"

[mushwig]

is it just me, or is his "purity ring" just a green rubber band doubled over his finger? LOL

[ChristianCutie83]

You are to cute. I am a Christian Rapper and I didn't know Christians could be soooooooooo successful on youtube. I am inspired! Thank you.

[laceypennies]

hypocritical of you to mention on numerous occasions that you are fasting

[robolitious]

@laceypennies IT WAS FOR JOKINGS SAKE MOM

[laceypennies]

@robolitious Come now, was it really necessary to raise your voice?

- Your Mother

[passkubalon]

Shout out to Rhett and Link Yo

[NASCARracingiscool43]

That guy was obviously a fan of Rhett and Link

[CuteNerd16]

yeah. anyone notice his purity ring is on the wrong hand?

[sheeplady13]

"HOLY CRAP"



[cooliegirlej]

1:03 - 1:13 I was DYING laughing lol

[MsBPunk]

I think Jesus slept with Mary Magdelane, a lot of historical scholars think it's highly likely. May God blind me if I'm lying.

[dieKoninginderNacht]

@MsBPunk You can be telling the truth with all your heart but it may not be the actual truth as reality is. :)

Actually, Jesus didn't. I spoke with Him today, He says He's never been romantically inclined towards the people He created, but He loves each one deeper than they can ever know. :)

[PersephonesFear]

@dieKoninginderNacht The church is the "bride of Christ". In fact, the Bible is rife with symbolism about the 'romantic' relationship between Jesus and us. However, this isn't a corrupted/fleshly romance, but an agapee (selfless) love. Mary even "lusted" to learn at Jesus's feet, this was consided better than Martha - we desire to know God. The Holy Spirit is even called the "arabbon" (greek for seal/engagement ring). Human marraige is only a shadow of "marraige" with God.

[dieKoninginderNacht]

@PersephonesFear Yes, but Jesus isn't married. Yet. :D

[lionroar224]

@MsBPunk Except what scholars think doesn't really mean anything because there's no proof of that. Anywhere. Except in the brains of people trying their hardest to find something to use against Jesus (since there really isn't much there). So that's like me saying that Shakespeare didn't write his own plays because of what some actor said once--allegedly, as this report came from a journalist notorious for making up crap and trying to produce conspiracy theories. See the problem here?

[MsBPunk]

@lionroar224 But if Jesus truly took on the form of a man , he would have had all the natural urges and instincts we all have as humans. And to live 30 + years without experiencing what we all experience, i.e. sexual needs, doesn't quite ring true. May God blind me if I'm wrong.

[lionroar224]

@MsBPunk But because he is Jesus he would not have acted on those temptations. The Bible states that clearly.

[MsBPunk]

@lionroar224 Also there are many parts of the Bible that have no empirical proof, just acceptance on faith. And yes there is a debate among English Lit scholars as to the true authorship of Shakespeare's work, it'a bit more complicated than what an actor or notorious journalist once said!

And why is accepting Jesus had sexual needs being "against Jesus" - he was in human form after all. Peace, bro !!

[lionroar224]

@MsBPunk But the Bible is truth. The Bible states that Jesus was tempted, yes, but that he overcame that temptation and did not give into it. Therefore there is no sound basis whatsoever in the theories that Jesus DID give into any types of temptations. I'm not denying Jesus felt sexual desires, I'm sure he did. But he didn't act on them.

And no, as far as Shakespeare's authorship goes there's not a lot of legit proof out there. It's not that complicated but people like to make it so

[iLuvSmartCars]

Best Christian pickup line: "So last night I was reading the book of Numbers, and then I realized that I didn't have yours." ;)

[noneothathan]

@iLuvSmartCars haha thats awesome.



[MysteriousPelican]

"A few more up my sleeve..." Or, lack thereof.

[evangelistbro]

The best unbalanced testimony of a balanced mind I have ever seen. I've always known controlled madness was the key. Funny stuff!

[MsFreedom2fly]

Hey just a request on a video for using HOLY with #$%&@* or cow or Moly or duck.... And maybe tell the world what HOLY really means. You would do a great one!

[deutschefussballer]

Is it just me, or did he sound rather cocky/rude in that video?

[MysticalSelah]

@deutschefussballer That's the point. It's satire.

[deutschefussballer]

@MysticalSelah If the point was to come off as a arrogant jerk then he did fine! Don't get me wrong, I understand humor, and this one had several good lines. But the delivery was lacking. The attitude he portrayed was pathetic

[Aemberlyn]

"This is my 'true love waits' ring. This means I'm going to wait until I'm married to have a wife.... until then Jesus is my girlfriend!" bahahahaha Awesome!

[JesusIsEverything411]

I like you in real life! Since I can't like you on Facebook!

[alexysslove]

I always quote this video to my friends, and they look at me like I'm crazy :D

[doobdoob100]

"Hey do you wanna not date me?"

[MinorKeys88]

"Let's answer some of these questions before I fall deeper into the flesh."

[shylermay]

Marry me please...

[RunningForYou17]

I think this is my favorite one of his videos.

[rockxhero]

ME.

hah

[mrsrattyratlerman]

( he's saying something I can't understand here)...HOLY CRAP. Ha. Best part.

[krazylilthing11]

haha I'm gonna use that pick up line now. "WWJD, who would Jesus date?Um ME!"

[Mswiee]

Jordan, why the tanktop? Josh, why do you hit him in the face every week? You guys, make more blimeycows. I like messy Mondays but blimeycows are the best.

[Duplooytim]

lol <3

[jokojay1]

jesus was gay so he'd probably date some dude.

[TheSpagettiGurls]

@jokojay1 you r so freaking STUPID!!!! JESUS WAS NOT GAY!!! I WANNA SMACK U SO HARD THAT YOU WILL FLY INT TOMRROW!!!!! GO GET A LIFE!!!! D:< YOU ARE SO INSULTING!!! HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ANYWAY?!?!?!? DONT YOU DARE DISRESPECT MY GOD EVER AGAIN!!!!!!! YOU MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jokojay1]

@TheSpagettiGurls lol @ you. freak.

[TheSpagettiGurls]

@jokojay1 shut UP!!! you know what GET OUTTA HERE!!! you dont DESERVE to be here!!!!!!!!!!

[TakaraStarChan]

@TheSpagettiGurls Read James 1:19. While it's good that you want to stick up for God, you need to consider whether or not what you're doing is going to help others see Jesus, or just see that you're angry and that you just want to be right. Did you ever read of Jesus reacting like that? And, while what that person said was off point, they have as much right to be here as you do to hear things about Christ. Give people the chance to learn and change-patience.

[MysticalSelah]

@TheSpagettiGurls Will you calm down? Christ commands us to love our enemies, not wish ill on them. Trust me, God doesn't need you to defend him. Just ignore the attention-seeking troll and pray for him/her.

[kittensintheirmitten]

Jordan Stithem writes in "Since my last question was rejected What is your favorite mythological beast?"

My favorite would have to be the Jordan Stithem because mytholigal beasts aren't real right? So this kid isn't real right?

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!

[Superpowersisters]

"If you are a girl HERE *point*, I am a boy THERE *point far away and fall of chair."

Now my life is awesome.

[sarajeanlapitan]

Hey Jordan, wanna not date me?

I'd buy a shirt that says that haha

[lreynolds1002]

Is this guy a christian???? I hope he is!!!!

[beauty4god12]

@lreynolds1002 He is :)

[TickTockBANG555]

"But I've got a couple more up my sleeve..." You're wearing no sleeves.

[sophiemarie4592]

"this means Jesus is my girlfriend" hahaha he is hilarious...

[soakuptheson422]

"like me on facebook. Like me in real life..." haha

[esperanzamay16]

i was about to comment about how calm you were in this video....and then 1:18 happened. 

[guacamole963]

listening to more than 2 of his videos a day makes me stressed out.

[Annyaztheamazing]

Heh

[1821angel]

Jesus is my girl friend.lol

[maacahzangel]

"i lost my queen last round, but i think i just found her"

[yeaitskate334]

Oh my goodness, I cracked up while watching this. Sooo funny!!!

[pathemus]

Nice tank top.

[dallaschick95]

hahahahahahaha You're insane... in a good way. ;)

[Nellasrocks]

You have it on the wrong hand you dope

[WizardofNarnia92]

@Nellasrocks lol He does! 

[kenzielee231]

WWJD? Who Would Jesus Date? .... Me.

[emmynjones]

until then, JESUS IS MY GIRLFRIEND!! XD

[BryBry323]

Who still has a MySpace password?

[TheChurchTheBride]

I got a pick up line for you. Check out the video titled "Catholic Pick up Line Song". Even if you're not Catholic it's pretty funny!

[wannabefamous99]

where can i get a t shirt?



[MiniaturePoptarts]

0:30 - 0:32 <3

[Beatleslover231]

You do realize that the ring is on your right hand when it should be on your left, right..?

[YoYoYoILiveInAShoe]

You make me laugh. You also make me cry. I also want to slap you sometimes.

[EmbraceLife89]

"are you a parking ticket? cause you've got fine written all over you."

[Sigillalith]

best pick up line I've heard is "DO you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

[Genesis2091]

well regardless of whether or not you have the case of the bad breathies, I'm not interested! LOL

[palisboycrazy101]

like me on facebook...like me in real life...

[fr33tobem3]

You don't know 'mythological beast'??? You've never seen Rhett & Link?!

[brainykid800]

There is a very good chance that I only watched this video because of the shirt you're wearing... I don't especially care whether you're gay or not. <3

[Nothinguitarist]

You look like Ashton Kutcher.

[HermieLoDORK]

im going to wait till i get married to get a wife. :) love it.

[SMoriah96]

If you are a girl here, then I am a bot over there (falls over in chair) LOL!!

[Onefleshabiding16]

Your ring is on the wrong hand.....

[MinteyFruit138]

Lol all these people saying he's hot... they don't know much about him at all. Who WOULD Jesus date? He's engaged! To me! And the rest of the church!

[roachygirl11]

"But until then, Jesus is my girlfriend" *pose

lol fave line ever XD

[pinkpenguin316]

BLIMEY COW PRODUCES FUNNY VIDEOS. ONTO THE NEXT COMMENT!

[yekaternaninski]

Best pickup line: "That's a nice Bible you have there"

[ytvration]

@yekaternaninski RE: Thanks it the New King James Version.

[OnlyPotato]

dang. you're kinda hott.

[Mswiee]

Mythical beast dude!!! Haven't you watched Rhettandlink?!

[beauty4god12]

"WWJD. Who would jesus date? Hmm.. Me." I laughed so hard at that part!! :D

[ennaacceb]

he has his ring on the wrong hand!

[melinattttttttt]

hali halitosis? You mean chronic halitosis B-)

[bandgeek31397]

poor jason guy >.< lol jk.....

[babygirlmei10]

you are hysterical!!!! And hot xD lol very hot!

[ChristianGirl203]

Oh my gosh--this was so funny! The pick-up lines were great... Thanks for posting this! (By the way, I've participated in many predestination conversations...and, they usually end with be backing away.)

[robbyfrankz]

I burst into laughter when he answered the WWJD question lol

[RandomIsRandomocity]

Hahaha, I love how he said that he's gonna wait till he gets MARRIED to get a WIFE.

[alexysslove]

I really, really enjoyed that explanation of the purity ring! I'm definitely going to use that!! :D

[tigrsrule]

I am a Christen, and I know that Jesus is not gay. It's God who dates people.

[DarthNocturnis]

@tigrsrule Hey, the Bible does say that we are Jesus' Bride and he is the Bridegroom. Just sayin'.

[Skateondrums1]

Boudreaux = boo-droh

[GingerGeek95]

"I think you were predestined to watch free willy with me after your next class!" That would work one me!

[LovesMusicandLife]

xD!!! One of your funniest videos, ever!!♥LOVE!

[TheLittleZacta]

So you're not going to think about your future wife until you are married? Is that what it is? What a coincidence! I'm not allowed to date until I'm married/at least 50! 8D

[iheartbeauty95]

you should wear these shirts more often...

[Howlandgirls]

i think he would be good in a screamo band.......

[ruthness95]

So true..." wanna NOT date me?" ROFL

[newchica1]

oh my gosh..........I just about died laughing........"Hmm.......I think you were predestined to watch Free Willy with me after your next class."

[guybrushThreepwood1]

Sunset Riders FOR THE WIN!

[3dmarth]

@guybrushThreepwood1 Bury me with my money.

[Crossfade342]

My favorite Mythical Beast's are Rhett and Link.

[123Doodle890]

@Crossfade342 HECK YEAH! Haha :)

[0520sophiag]

I love messy Mondays the black back drop makes it way more fun to watch make more please!!!

[Infantrysquad22]

Bro, you hate too much! 

[blendingbone]

"Do you want to not date me?" I totally did that. We're engaged now.

[AmandaChoin217]

Ha ha ha! Hallytallytosis!

[truelovewaits94]

You're the best!

[in3scapable]

Humorous videos, but you scream too much. Other than that, very enjoyable! Except, you know, when I fall off the couch every time you shout nonsensically.

[unfortunateeven1]

wwjd..who would jesus date? hmm, me

[LoveableSinger95]

"...I'm a boy over there" *crash* HAHAHAHA XD

[bananaboo]

Oh my goodness, you are awesome! haha

[Scarlethippye]

i was wondering how you came to know about those theologies (Calvinism/Arminianism), cuz i noticed you used the words predestination and freewill. just curious.

[gb2744]

am i the only one that gets reminded of ashton kutcher?

[Rachisbubbly]

Are you christian? Cause you put the cute in persecution

[AirsoftM1911]

@Rachisbubbly hey FYI did you know that "cute" isn't in the word "persecution"

[Rachisbubbly]

@AirsoftM1911 Yes, but when you say it out loud, you can hear it. It's a pick up line, I thought it was funny.

[AirsoftM1911]

@Rachisbubbly yeah your right my bad

[gb2744]

"Hey, do you wanna, not date me?" Right on.

[FridayForce]

"Now that I've started on my new fast I don't need pickup lines anymore.. but I know you fools do." lol

[Abbytheballerina]

Haha! I love it!

[wolverinewing]

Marcus, I think he liked your question.

[Genktarov]

I think you just like to scream at cameras.

[Riptor552]

Thumbs up for Sunset Riders!

[PhazonOmega]

"Blimycow makes good videos. Moving on." Mooooooving on? ^_^

[captivated3]

another good pick line you can use after your 15 day fast is over: "oh, you don't like your last name? i can change that." :)

[captivated3]

"who would Jesus date? Me!" lol

[LarielLissi]

And don't forget the credit card number!!

[MoriahWalton]

Question: does all of the yelling in these vids kill your vocal chords?

[ilovemymilitary]

"If you are a girl here, I am a boy there..." Would love to know if that fall was on accident or not!

[TankMedia]

I'm going to wait until I'm married... To have a wife...

[changedmylife07]

I CANT PRONOUNCE YOUR NAME MARCUS!!!

haha I love everything about this