Theists say the dumbest things #8 - Christian Side Hug

[pheonixmon1]

DUDE you're awesome

[falloutentity]

You need a better camera. Horribly blurry.

[RadikL3]

Okay. it isnt a sin to hug frontways. nowhere in the bible will you find this. however impure thought is. it just depends on the person ( some people might be more dirty minded than others, which in that case side hugging might not be a bad idea lol) but simply hugging from the front is not a sin, as long as you dont start uhhh....imagining things haha

[666sicful]

This is a good video. To bad people don't get they can thaink for them selfs

[mattbigmonster]

Tell Jeb to stop spitting on the camera...

[cizzin]

Ever since Jeff Dunham, ventriloquism is officially gay.

[arkansasrazorbackfan]

@cizzin gay in a front hug kind of way? or a christian side hug kind of gay?

[mpctheg]

find something real to believe in

[KoreanMeatball]

you are good ventriloquist

[lisamariefan]

You're a decent ventriloquist.

[abdishtar]

They want to make it so everyone feels awkward around eachother, as you only give side hugs to strangers for a picture, or to people you dont really want to hug.

You know the rule, Thou Shall not hug, its the law of the Lard Jebus!

[CzarAdam2009]

*singing*

Gimme that Catholic butt love

That Catholic butt love

You guys have heard about the whole 'maintain your virginity by sticking to butt-sex until marriage' thing, right?

[Derrshmoz]

That was definitely one of your funnier videos.  Good job.

[MrLawrenceV]

it's the devil's tool. EVIL!!!

gotta love people like that.

[newmita]

LOL Man you are funny

[edwardtang1977]

Thanks for "Letting go of god". Watched it , was entertaining

[0china0cat0sunflower]

Nevermind on the pupet. I just read the info. It's Jeb.

[0china0cat0sunflower]

I saw the christian side hug video a few weeks ago while I was really sick, and I couldn't stop laughing. It made me feel better. Then I thought it must be a joke, but I looked it up and apparently it's not... WTF? Also, is the puppet supposed to look like George Bush? It kind of does, lol!

[rrpauldoran]

Wow, he was really good with the puppet today lol

[Glacies12]

...Rough rider my ASS!

That guy was the whitest rapper since Ice T.

Damn that just yanked a bit of my brain out...

[habinamichael24]

RAPS QUEER SO WHO CARES

[Glacies12]

Still, it can be fun to listen to.

[habinamichael24]

i diagree

[Glacies12]

Agree or disagree?

[habinamichael24]

shit sorry typo disagree

[Glacies12]

Then we can agree to disagree.

[habinamichael24]

AGREED lol

[NemoUtopian]

i think those douches just ruined a bit of the star wars soundtrack for me.

[lumikitten]

so let me get this straight: Someone creates this "song" as a satire, and then a group of youth pastors doesn't "get it" and goes and thinks it's the coolest thing on earth and performs it? Or something?

[KingHeathen]

It's possible, but I doubt that's the truth. Unfortunately, I think the truth is worse. I think the performers, writers, and organization all thought it was a good thing...sadly, the audience too.

[xlanciferionx]

That crap takes repression to unheard of levels. Not even the Victorian era was filled with such levels of repression.

[Brandt761]

idk...did people hug during the Victorian era?

[pbrskater26]

Yeah no kidding, have you head the song New Dark Age's from Bad Religion! Well those people are reverberated back to it!

[xlanciferionx]

Yes. Now, if only we could actually send them back to the real Dark Ages...

Also, Bad Religion is one of my all time favorite bands!

[epshot]

gimme that christian armageddon PLEASE

[phenixwryter]

Great stuff! LOL at the humping puppet.

First teabaggers, now rough riders...I got to admit they do a superb job of making themselves look like morons.

[xd1rtx]

good shit,, i'm fixin to check this shit out 4 myself,,, leave to you to be the watchdog for christian fundies gone wrong

[redbaron998]

Technically Christians are supposed to greet each other with a Holy Kiss......side hug my butt.

[habinamichael24]

lafmo so is it ok with god if i give a side rape

: )

loooolloolo

[FractalHelix777]

@ habinamichael24: hahahahahahaha!

[TogetherForPeace]

KH that website they pulled the info from was a satirical Christian site. I wouldn't keep up a vid about atheists if I found out that it was just some satire.

[TheNakedAtheist]

"KH that website they pulled the info from was a satirical Christian site. I wouldn't keep up a vid about atheists if I found out that it was just some satire."

Where does it say it's satire Jack. I'm not arguing the point because this seems a bit absurd even by Christian standards, but I'm not seeing anything about it being satire other than some comments by people on the article speculating that it may be.

[TheNakedAtheist]

continued...

In fact I just Googled Christian side hug, and the story was also picked up by the Huffington post with no mention of it being satire.

[KingHeathen]

There is a comment on the article I linked which takes a comment from the website "Stuff Christians Like" about the issue. However, the song isn't theirs. It comes from the Encounter Generation Conference which is a very real Christian get-together type of event where this group performed.

[uire23]

"This was apparently an entry in the "Rules Rap" contest of the 2009 EG Conference. The idea is to create an amusing rap number that conveys the message of one of the conference rules.

So, yeah, the over-the-top gangsta rap hoo-ha bit is a joke. The "SIDE-HUGS ONLY" rule is real." (Metafilter com)

[Ryansarcade9]

By the way, if you look at some comments on the blog post King Heathen linked to, you'll find out that the group in question that made this video are not "for real". The whole thing is a spoof, a parody.

[KingHeathen]

if only that could be true...

The video was leaked by a satire group, but the performance was part of a very real event that the satire group were NOT a part of.

I dug as deep as I could on the issue to make sure...well as sure as you can on these things. But apparently Jack (togetherforpeace) did better than I did. He found a letter from the guy at the satire website. At the bottom of it, the guy admits that THEY had nothing to do with the song.

[geolab101]

I'm pretty sure that those were actually christian poes. Christians are trolling themselves now. It's about time they got with the program.

[peteq1972]

That is the best ventriloquism i`ve ever seen in my life.

[zowxon]

Sigh...almost too depressing to ridicule. The puppet humping made me lol, though.

[KingHeathen]

it says quite a bit about your mentality if you go into each situation assuming puppet humping all the time.

I'm not sure WHAT exactly, but it definitely says something.

; )

[habinamichael24]

nice lol

[Thereminator101]

Can I get'a friendly GOP or catholic priest hug 'round heyah!

[anubis2814]

Wow and I thought this was something you made up. Poe's law at work here. Sad.

[sthebg20]

Did Jeb just molest you????????/

[TheRealACvideos]

Is everybody missing the extreme evil nature of the music video "christian side hug" that is produced by a group of christian ministers? They claim to be worried about the sexual arousal that may be caused by hugging but there's a symbolic DRIVE BY SHOOTING AT THE END OF THE VIDEO! What kind of message does that send to kids? It appears that the makers of the video are attempting to be serious, but the only message these rappers are delivering is the message that CHRISTIANITY IS MENTAL INSANITY!

[agentsamsonite7264]

Christians hate hugging, love is from the DEVIL!!!!

[stonedcommander]

yes, the new "side hug" craze is pretty

damned stupid...but in all honesty, if i bumped hips with sharika id catch a chubby.

[makaisenki]

Yay... more rap propaganda from people who don't even understand the very basics of how humans psychology, physiology, work, and are using a genre of music propaganda device in order to dliberately make people marry younger and have higher divorce rates.

Religious people with the "No sex before marriage" ideology are idiots. They're just causing younger marriages, for the wrong reasons, that will end up increasing divorce rates and broken vows made before God.

They're idiots. That's all.

[socer777]

lol i just saw that vid yesterday

[TheAtheistPaladin]

Give me an atheist dry-hump.

[SupaAmi]

lol. win.

[320iguy]

you perv. LOL

that was hilarious!

[Nordicdeist]

Hey an atheist Jeff Dunham! Cool! So what next from the fundies? Making women wear burkas? Or is this side hug thing just Poe's Law in action? Damn it's hard to tell! LOL

[brandonman94]

Gah, that side hug video has to be a parody... I guess not? o.O Wow, it's so pathetic that it sounds just like a parody. That's when you know you're opinion is faulty. :\

[DeletedDelusion]

I don't like side-huggers, especially if they breathe in my ear..

[DeletedDelusion]

Another prove that Christians are obsessed with sex.

[Ender1zero1]

teabaggers rough riders what's next?

[Largo64]

Has anyone else noticed that Reverend Jeb looks a lot like Pat Robertson?

[Cowinspace]

I suggest dumping some of these folk in france. Just so they can witness men greeting each other with (multiple) kisses. It would be fun to see them freak.

[waltermh111]

oh yeah, that has to be recorded, and it will go viral, lol

[Othelie]

RWJ had a thing on this in the last =3

[Xerxes4242]

Gimme that Christian side hug...... don't let our dicks rub

[Justinfhtube]

Get a room you two.

[Justinfhtube]

A side hug is more retarded than ear sex.

[Largo64]

@Justinfhtube Don't knock ear sex. Haven't you ever had an eargasm?

;^)

[RyuDarragh]

What?!? You are not Ferengi, are you? Humans lack the lobes for ear sex.

[bobble12221]

Hey, don't knock ear sex til you've tried it! ;)

[TimKilgore]

I saw this video, HILARIOUS!  The song is great, I'm considering making it my new entrance theme for wrestling.

[KingHeathen]

Now THAT would be hilarious! You could come out "side hugging" the fans...it'd be awesome!

[TimKilgore]

I'll suggest it, I think it would be fun. Wait till you see the vignettes I'm working on for TV. I'm going to be doing an ardent atheist gimmick, the world has NO IDEA what it's in for!

[Steveman27]

Who was doing that voice of the dummy? It couldn't have been youn since your mouth wasn't moving, I doubt even the best ventiliquists are that good.

BTW, do you have any music albums of your past music? I liked your song. Let me know.

[ervin2]

I'm guessing he just put the audio in after recording the video.

[Cowinspace]

Maybe he had a friend doing the voice. Or the puppet is possessed.

[ervin2]

Obviously the possessed puppet is the most likely possibility.

[centure7]

OMG you are so sinful with your front hugging... why you no leave room for holy spirits of gin and vodka... only beer?... that is an unholy spirit like bloody maries and such?

[DanielCriticalMX]

the christian side hug vid was featured in equals three

[Alisterwolf66]

I do believe christianity (I will not capitalize it, screw off!) is becoming more and more about denying and demonizing humankind's natural instincts.

How the hell do laughable idiots like these come into positions of authority or power?

Addendum:

If you're seriously aroused by a frontal hug, go find a computer with an internet connection, a bottle of lotion, and a box of tissues. Remove Google's search filtering and go to town. Repeat as necessary.

[Shmuklidooha]

Wasn't it always about demonising human instincts?

[Alisterwolf66]

Heh... true. I think it's the politically correct or pop-culture manner in which they seem to go about it nowadays that is really getting to me; what they do isn't really any surprise.

I've been sorely disappointed to find some hardcore-metal bands are in fact christian, despite a kickass sound! It makes baby Slash cry!

[Shmuklidooha]

Well, whether they are christian or not is irrelevant. What matters is if they start making christian rock/metal, which unless they are on the devil's side, makes them completely lame.

And I think it was Sam Harris who argued that the problem was the 'politically correct' religious people because they create a 'veil' of immunity for the more extremist and aggressive side of religion.

[Alisterwolf66]

That's what I was referring to. This mostly applies to those few bands whose lyrics are difficult to understand, but once I know what they are, disgusts me. I seek out those bands who don't express some political or religious agenda (or speak out against such things). Thankfully, they seem to be the majority, even if their individual members hold some dogmatic view or another.

That's an excellent observation! I'd like to find out how he came to that conclusion.

[Shmuklidooha]

Which is why when I listen to any music, I tend to focus more on the actual melody than the lyrics. Usually, theyre corny and make me feel guilty for listening to something so stupid. Which is why I prefer it when they make no sense.

Also, I think his book was called 'the end of faith'. Maybe take a look at a summary of it or something.

And can I friend you? =3

[moyga]

Were you actually doing that (like talking for the puppet without opening youre mouth - ventriloquism) or did you just edit the video and put youre voice in? Because if not thats pretty impressive.

[alterdbyme]

this was awsome

[xxxild]

Also remember the "six inch rule" for teens and young unmarried people!

Man you are good at ventriloquism.

[Domzdream]

Shit. If that was you throwing your voice...blasted hell...you're awesome!

[tattooskin72]

oh hell... side hug? fucked up people and fucked up shit.

[Rationalific]

Reverend Jeb! Down! No means no!

[Desertphile]

I saw the "Christian Side Hug" in talk.origins and I fell off my chair laughing. That hug is transitional between the front hug and the anus hug performed by Fundamentalist Christian men, if you know what I mean.....

[DavidRandallCurtis]

Holy Son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster! THAT was funnier than the Pope's hat! :P

5 stars and faved!

[TheAwedCouple]

It's all because of those damned front-hugging Liberal heathens, I tell you what!

-"Mo"

[MakoSharkX]

Wow.... I needed a laugh this morning, nice work.

[TheUnmaskedMagician]

LOL

[Hairysteed]

HANDSHAKE IS THE SATAN'S GRIP!!!

[unassumption]

=3

RayWilliamJhonson fan?

[338dmac]

"Nothing dirty, just..."

(hump hump hump hump)

XD

[lc237]

The reverend is a hoot. He reminds me of Rev Pat R. That was a riot.

[RyuDarragh]

We should encourage them in this. Maybe we can get them to the point where they stop touching each other in any way and stop reproducing altogether. This would immediately raise the IQ of the survivors, Theist and Atheist alike.

[WolfSyndrome]

Hey Ryu! 'Sup? Very funny btw, and I would like to add that maybe the side-hug is natural selection in action. ;-)

[sincere2da]

I seen it and it surprisingly offended me, oh wait i wanted to punch every last one of them in the face, Now if it was a joke, then ha ha, but it's not.... the gun shot is what really took the cake, and the "Urban look" with the prison or thug demeaner really pissed me off, I left the hood, and now I have to watch Posers perform like this. Just made me mad, oh alot of it is christian influenced

[8WholeThing]

Sex is like oxygen. It's no big deal unless you're not getting any. For the sexually-repressed, any physical contact is as stimulating as foreplay.

[FractalHelix777]

This reminds me of that old joke: Q: Why don't Mormons have sex standing up? A: People might think they're dancing. Hey--i didn't say it was a FUNNY joke. But, damn...this video would be funny if it weren't true. christians just get weirder and more repressed every day.

[8WholeThing]

I always heard it was

Q: Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?

A: It might lead to dancing.

[FractalHelix777]

Yeah, that's funnier.

[rozeboosje]

Why do we even bother taking the piss out of these people? They lampoon themselves better than we ever could.

[diotecktec2]

2:00 -- You hugged a... Meh.. :P

[cavejourney]

does this mean a blow job would be out of the question?

[FractalHelix777]

hahaha

[TLSlayer]

yeah,the sidehug thing,i saw the video on raywilliamjohnson's video...ridiculous.

[TLSlayer]

looks like youre pretty good at this,KH,ever hear of jeff dunham?

funny guy

[Katalyzt]

Hahahahahaha! ★★★★★

[inmedx]

OH DEAR GOD.

[GoblinXXX]

And remember-- When you touch yourself, the saints cry. Thank you.

[Steadno]

'christian side hugs' what a joke!

[Bandaids4ever]

... This isn't a joke? This seems almost made up for comedic purposes. Holy hell! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

[Shorteus]

'When I hug people, I leave room for the holy spirit"

I think I just managed to laugh and cry at the same time.

[habinamichael24]

lololololllollo

the pupet humped him lllololoolololool

[CousinoMacul]

Hugging: the gateway to sex. LOL

[jay666KJ]

Iv looked around the internet about this. I watched the video, and I ....am still speechless. First you raped rock, then you raped metal, then you BRUTALLY, VICIOUSLY RAPED AND TORTURED black metal, you raped rap and hip hop, and now you raped and tortured hip hop. No wonder why artist who started and understand the music cant stand posers. Christian black metal is a abomination upon mankind. PLEASE stop raping music that is actually enjoyable.

[dechha1981]

I'm somehow reminded of the way Muslims claim that not wearing a veil tempts men to rape them. I'm also reminded of some people in Israel complaining about the Tarzan posters complaining that seing a half-naked man tempts people to think about sex. Methinks thou doth protest too much.

[canibalgofer]

don't they say it's the female's fault for tempting the men?

[habinamichael24]

wat

[canibalgofer]

in islam, i think they say that if a woman has no veil on it's her fault if she gets raped for "tempting" men.

[kalamain]

Islamic men are THAT ill-equipped to control their own emotions that the women have to cover up?

B-O

That is so wrong.

[dechha1981]

Yep. They've even been known to punish women for getting raped by flogging.

[Manaborn619]

Actually, they believe all men to be that ill-equipped to control their own emotions.

They also believe that a womans sexual power comes from her hair, which is why this is the most important to cover. (wonder if the same is true for guys like me or AronRa?)

[kalamain]

DesertPhile said roughly the same thing about the link with hair and intelligence.

But then AronRa is just THAT awesome! B-D

BTW...I subbed your channel B-)

[Manaborn619]

Thank you for subbing :)

Which of DesertPhiles videos is that? I'd like to watch it.

[habinamichael24]

that is FUCKING retared

:(

[kalamain]

Erm.....Whats retarded?

I'm not sure what you are replying to.

I'd be grateful if you would point out WHAT was retarded.

[habinamichael24]

that in islam its some how the chicks fault she gets raped...i know stupid lolol

[dechha1981]

Indeed.

[dechha1981]

This is... um...

words fail me to express how stupid it is.

[jesokingcryst]

My brain! It hurts!

[jay666KJ]

A new sin I commit almost every single week! I like to hug. I wonder if hugging my dog is also a sin since it wont ever lead to bestiality, and animals dont have souls. Even though they have emotions like us, and have a memory. Sorry but emotion is evidence of a souls is just retarded. Animals feel sadness, jealousy, anger, loneliness, happyness, etc.

[bfgoodrik]

These creationist freaks, its un fucking real.

My friggin ribs are killing me from all that laughing.

[xxwrecxx]

ya... i made it like 30 seconds into it.. it was pretty painful to watch

[SGresponse]

Good job on post-sync ventriloquism. That must have taken a few hours to prepare.

That video seemed satire (considering the audience's reactions in some cases), but the ol' Poe's Law says it wasn't.

And being sidehugged anyone when I'm sober would certainly freak me out more than front-hugz. It's like seeing two guys hugging. Front-hug = "oh they're close friends"

Side-hug = "OMG GAY!"

[voices1]

I got through all of 10 seconds of that video,after that my head exploded.

[gothicfog]

It's so GANG-STUH.

They really connect with the youth of America.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WTF

[rozeboosje]

Oh sweet blistering Jesus. LOL

[DaKrazyJokesta]

ROFLLL Nice one heathen

[smpunditz]

So I see you saw it too.

[ctypro96706]

I just saw the Christian side hug video, too funny, so gangsta... LMAO

[CuriousMoth]

Oooh I get it. So the Christian side hug is the same kind of hug you'd use when you're having your photo taken?

Man that hug leaves so much room for a quick grope of the bum it's unreal. I don't even let guys hug me like that anymore.

[musicalaviator]

At least they got the tune right :P Bad guys music from Star Wars. lol. Perhaps I read too much into that particular use of that Leitmotif, but intentional or not, it's fairly ironic. Cold, unloving, solitary, evil christian side-hug. As Vader (or God) might say... I am your Father. *Red lightsabre extends*

[Snackar]

Nonholy batsh1t Batman, get me out of here!

I am quickly losing what little faith I have left in humanity.

And now I'm going to have this damn song stuck in my head for weeks. Thanks a lot! :P

[x246869]

left side, right side, front side, back side.

Wow, can I get them all at the same time.

[newexperiment]

Good job on the ventriloquism.

Wow the side hug thing is as retarded as it gets.

[svaught32]

I need a hug...

[Ryansarcade9]

Brother Jeb should be in more videos.

[NermalsChannel]

I've read that it's christians making fun of the prudes.

[AJBonkoski]

Ima have to make an effort to always REAL hug the christians... haha

[pbrskater26]

Espesialy the hot girls! I have seen some hot girls in church when I used to go, but you know you would never git with them

[BananaHurricane]

I actually just found out about this song a few minutes before you uploaded this video. I hadn't laughed that much in ages.

[Bluedragon094]

... i can't believe christians don't even know what a rough rider is.

You'd think their parents would sit them down and give the birds 'n' bees talk, but NO... abstinence only.

[HumanStrategy]

I saw this story on the YoungTurks a day or so ago.

[ClingyThingy]

Hmm, I'll have to make sure to avoid those frontal hugs and make sure that I ONLY use the "christian approved side hug"

[Tyrtamus]

Just when I thought the theists couldn't get any dumber.

Wow.

[mayneframe]

i saw that, it was so funny.

[pokekid716]

Lmao. Loved that part at the beginning King!! I love your videos King Heathen!! Thanks for all you do and good job.

[Amadi1]

yay im the first of thousands!!

[pokekid716]

Gratz. You must feel so proud of yourself. I mean, I'm impressed.