Portal - GLaDOS Final Battle Speech

[Glorfindel9357]

You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're just a video game designer.

[BrandonVinall]

I like the jokes about the Neurotoxin (sorry for the mispelling)

[bigfatcarp93]

@BrandonVinall You didn't mispell anything...

[ClockworkGizmoh]

Don't believe me? I'll put you on.

"hellooooo"

That's you. That's how dumb you sound!

6:13

[kadapunny]

did you want merry it? Well i won't let you!

[Metallgarurumon]

I like GLaDOS. :D And her ending-song is the best, from a computer, I've ever heard. ^^

[MegaAnimeGoddess]

thumbs up if the snowflakes filled the whole screen when the video ended

[623dewdrop]

I put glados lines into Google translate then click speak...

[mickiblay1]

@623dewdrop I did that too.... It's not the same! D:

[evenstar071]

i love 6:13 ^^

[DZZeborro]

6:33 to 7:00

Is she talking about the Combine?

[MakutaOfComedy]

@DZZeborro

Yes.

[tailsdollfan13]

That thing is probably some raw sewage container, you should go ahead and rub your face all over it.

[gameandmoviefan]

best villian ever

[Aichybatoal]

It was a morality core they installed on me after I flooded the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters. LOL

[IMTHEYELLOWDEVIL]

I know what that thing isnt.it isnt yours.so put that away

[BlackOakStudios]

GLaDOS was supposed to be good, right? But she broke down and glitched up and turned into a crazy bitch right?

[derekcwly]

"I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response. Because I'm not talking to you. The talking is over."

*Talks for the next three minutes*

[devilspride07]

the whole speech is just so LOL.

[gamegod9000]

I think it's funny that you can hear the crackling of saliva and stuff from the human voice actor for GLaDOS. Robots don't do that.

[gamegod9000]

@HitomiKigurumi

As long as you kill the neurotoxin, and maybe bake her a cake to stop her from using her turrets, she would be really cool.

"Okay, I'm going to work, GLaDOS. Can you switch on the security?"

[yukhatskiyilia]

Please, help me. What's GLaDOS says on "You are kidding me! Did you just stuff the Aperture Science thing we-don't-know-what-it-does to Aperture Science Amargency Intelegent Insunereter. That is ..." What she says on "..."?

[MewYuki23]

@yukhatskiyilia "That has got to be the dumbest thing I--"

[gamegod9000]

@yukhatskiyilia

"You are kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science thing-we-don't-know-what-it-do­es into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelegence Incinerator? That has got to be the dumbest thing that... whoa, whoa, WHOA! WAOAEUuuu... *hehhahahaha...haaa*"

[yukhatskiyilia]

@gamegod9000 thanks))

[Portal2Rulez]

Stupid engineer #1: "Hey, I have an idea! Let's give an AI a neurotoxin generator!" Stupid engineer #2: "Oh, totally! Also, don't forget about the anger core! What could POSSIBLY go wrong? I mean, it's not like she's going to try to kill us or anything! While we're at it, we should giver her rocket turrets completely controlled by herself!" Stupid engineer #1: "Great idea! Let's get started."

[lobsteros]

@Portal2Rulez nah, it`s probably just that she can do it since she`s in charge of the facility, therefore she can do anything she wants with anything in the facility

[Portal2Rulez]

@lobsteros ...which is why those things shouldn't have BEEN in the facility.

[lobsteros]

@Portal2Rulez they were probably supposed to be part of the tests...

[Portal2Rulez]

@lobsteros "This next test involves neurotoxin. Beat the test before you're killed." Yeah, I don't think so.

[lobsteros]

@Portal2Rulez Wow, You responded to that fast.....

[lobsteros]

@Portal2Rulez who knows. maybe it was in the facility because aperture scientists created the neurotoxin in the first place. then glados probably just decided to use it.

[Portal2Rulez]

@lobsteros In the official comic starring The Ratman linking Portal 1 and Portal 2 together states how GLaDOS wanted to do an experiment involving neurotoxin. GLaDOS tricked the engineers into creating it, hence, they're stupid. I forget what the comic is called, but I'm sure a Google search will find it for you.

[PCupcakeScratch]

@Portal2Rulez Chell must be a spy, because she destroyed the Engineer's creation. :P

[Elirox1337]

hulllllloooooo

[bigfatcarp93]

1:56 Start playing this: watch?v=LrULkD81vPI&list=FLp6F­xSMrXeZFBCZpLTvLFeA&index=2

[DanB2013]

"Neurotoxin. So deadly. *Cough Cough* Choking. HAHAHAHAHAHA... I'm kidding.

Best quote ever. XD

[EliKG114]

@HitomiKigurumi Are you saying Chell is a lesbian??? o.0 lol jk.

[linksfood]

anyone else notice the half-life reference when she says "I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, and I don't even know what's going on out there. All I know is, I'm the only thing standing between us, and THEM"

[plantmageskelly]

When she turns sexy, Transcribe Audio becomes 90% less accurate.

[kaikiyukionna27]

@plantmageskelly It's cause the Transcribe Audio bot is too turned on to think straight.

[LoveQuest1305]

"Starting now there's going to be a lot less conversation and a LOT. MORE. KILLING." Absolutely love that line!

[strangecommentboy]

i think EagleEye was based off of GLaDoS.

[ChiharuHideko8675309]

"I could take a bath in this stuff, put it on cereal and rub it in my eyes"-THAT'S WHAT SHE SAAAAAAAID.

[GraceTheUnstoppable]

Holy cow, the Transcribe Audio is scarily accurate.

[SuperAwesomeTiago]

Gaben: Maybe I should make episode 3 if people want it so much.Do you want episode 3? WELL I WON'T MAKE IT.How does that feel?

[pandazatthedisco]

I went all like ;w; when she said she invited the Companion Cube but he couldn'tcome TwT

[oscardude95]

dude, the part where she suddenly changed her voice is so damn creepy...

[xtobello]

if "Your entire life is a mathematical error; a mathematical error I'm going to correcT" isn't the best threat in the world, then Jesus Christo save us all.

[EpicGamer128]

The translation says that:

"Shall not be mourned." = "Child not to be mined."

[dar33y]

6:29 Creepy.

[mrstrainwreck7]

"It also says your adopted. That's funny too."

[MeanchildIiGoodchild]

1:04 .....XD....

[OrchestraI]

LOL AT THE TRANSLATION.

Very formal =/= Dairy farmer.

[BucketSeeker]

GLaDOS: Heeyoour!! Thats you, thats how dumb you sound! Chell: OMFG SHUT UP BEECH!!!!!

[Portal2Rulez]

LOL when she said "Very formal" the Audio Transcribe said "Dairy farmer"

[Portal2Rulez]

"If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of our architect" LOL

[Portal2Rulez]

@Portal2Rulez (btw, that was what it said on Audio Transcribe) :D

[Portal2Rulez]

TwO PLuZ TWo iZ *zizz zizz zizz zizz zizz* TEN.

[uploader109]

@Portal2Rulez IN BASE 4, I'M FINE.

[Portal2Rulez]

@uploader109 XD

[roosterchikka93]

Is she talking about the rocket from Half-Life?

[ILiveForCommenting]

3:42 with Audio Transcribe says "chuck is high cutie". Which is freaky because I have a cousin named Chuck.

[KruspeFTW]

I need to replay this, and get Portal 2. Seriously. 

[1jim3bob]

The transcribe audio is surprisingly and quite worryingly accurate

[1998alisa]

I felt sooo bad when I killed her. Why? Because then there were no more awesome quotes.

But seriously, the companion cube had to be avenged.

[uploader109]

@1998alisa You know there is a sequel, right? Guess who returns there?

[thedeltadarkespeon]

@uploader109 Who? GLaDOS or Chell?

[uploader109]

@thedeltadarkespeon Well let's see, if you remember what happens to Chell at the end of Portal after the patch....and if *someone* who knew his way around the facility and could accidentally reactivate something...

[thedeltadarkespeon]

@uploader109 Oh, yeah, now I know. I just noticed that GLaDOSis re-built. Wheatly is an idiot.

[1998alisa]

@uploader109

Aww, you just made my day :)

I do know there's a sequel, but I haven't played it...yet.

[Napoleonwolflikia]

2+2 is ffffffffff 10

[Roo520]

GLaDOS, the best computer antagonist ever. Funny, evil, and persuasive.

[Kakashifreakxxx]

Oh, Jesus, she's so scathing. It's glorious.

[MOTAGORO]

She´s like a psychotic girlfriend XD

[DDTPZX]

@HitomiKigurumi There are sorts of innuendos that point to this...

[KKamy123]

so deadly yea right you can't feel a thing

[DecaySource]

3 people have been killed by nuerotoxins.

[killokid]

i love glados's laugh!

[Strobertat]

1:51 oh shit...

[derekcwly]

Anybody else wonder what the "surprise" would have been if her Morality Core hadn't fallen out?

[Strobertat]

@derekcwly morality core was supposed to come out of her. That was a trick.

[Andrien5]

The question is: was there ever going to be another surprise. I doubt it.

[qMattp]

@derekcwly the rocket turret?

[Xanadug]

"the deadly was on massive sarcasm quotes.." lol i just love her

[GreenShark4]

@RoyalLester17 I find her incredibly sexy.

[pillbox15]

3 people didnt get their cake.

[BlackMetalragnarok]

agragrgar i haaaaaate youuuuuuuuuuuu

[everlastingpride326]

her favorite word is neurotoxiin sorry if spelt wrong

[mixxdupyoface]

Oh my god... My text-to-speech thing's voice on my laptop sounds EXACTLY like GlaDOS after she lost her morality core... SHIT

[HyperShadic89]

@mixxdupyoface Get a new voice for your laptop..HURRY! BEFORE SHE KILLS YOU WITH NEUROTOXIN AND PROMISES YOU WITH CAKE!

[DarkNintendo2000]

@mixxdupyoface Well, worst case scenario, you'll wake up tomorrow in an Aperture Science Testing Course. But the up side is, you now how to defeat your computer in the final boss if you have played this game (which I'm assuming you have considering you're watching this) and you get a free portal gun.

[Aleksandar998]

@mixxdupyoface Your computer is than an PCaDOS !!!

[ko32190]

@Aleksandar998 well prepare for her to crash

[Aleksandar998]

@ko32190 PC'S do not crash....

[ko32190]

@Aleksandar998 They Do Sometime 

[Aleksandar998]

@ko32190 You're right !!! But just Vista crashes like hell !!! Folks at Microsoft did their homework with Windows 7...

[mixxdupyoface]

@Aleksandar998 Actually, more like MACaDOS.

[Aleksandar998]

@mixxdupyoface They are same !!! They both crash they both have viruses....

[EliKG114]

@mixxdupyoface RUN BEFORE IT BRIBES YOU WITH CAKE D8

[RoyalJester17]

am i the only one that find her incredibly Creepy???

[DementedBearStudios]

@Jodar5 It takes place in the Half-Life 2 universe so what happened outside was the Combine.

[Examplemadness94]

Want to press that dislike button? (in GLaDOS voice) WELL I WONT LET YOU!

[KKbook]

Two plus two is... ffffffff..... *ten*

IN BASE FOUR, I'M FIINE

[penshine1]

Here, ill put you on "Heiooo" Thats you! Thats how dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done! Including this thing Your not smart your not a scientist your not a docter. You not even a full time enploye. Where did your life go so wrong? LOL I get this feeling at that part "Are you talking too me..?" xD

[star3catcherSEQUEL]

"Your entire life has been a mathematical error! A mathematical error I'm about to correct..."

From now on, I am going to say that to every person I'm about to attack.

[Nutelzilla]

Haha oh I love her so much. "Stop squirming around and die like an adult.... You're dead. You may still be shuffling around down there but believe me you're dead."

[NaomiNeko]

I beat the ending three times just to listen to this. Now I don't have to! :D

[DeathFirere]

"Pick it up and just stuff it back into me."

My friends response to this:

Oh GLaDOS, you saucy computer.

uhhh.......No.

What's the term for sex with a digital program?

LMFAO.

[MetroidJunkie2007]

3 people wanted to marry the Morality Core.

[Thyroth]

but... who's gonna make the cake when GLaDOS is gone?

[mcallentimothy]

@Thyroth (GlaDOS Voice) You?

[Fenixlj]

This is amazing. there is nothing better than Glados on a verbal rampage! i LOVE IT!

And to all those who disliked it.... You obviously have no companion cube!

[wowzers78]

I could listen to her say nuero-toxin for hours. :D

[Jasperfritse]

6:13

HELUOOOOOOOOOOO! xD

[MrNismoSan]

I could take bath in this stuff, put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly it's not deadly at all.....

To me.

thats so creepy

[TheChromiumDude]

Did you make this?

[shrapnelkiller]

Dude, she scares the shit outta me

[CaptainMetro1]

Who's gonna make the cake when i`m gone

[iWantFreedom101]

I want GlaDOS in my room....

[RubiixCat]

@iWantFreedom101 i want cake in my room, its just a shame that its a lie :(

[DjSugarKitty95]

Did I lie to you? I mean, in this room?

She always WIN :D

[VindalooProductions]

Honestly, its not deadly at all... To me.

[MrEriklenn]

Well....If you give me some cake, I may just let you live.........bitch

[havoc697]

I think I put this in my English test.

[MSxSlushi]

3 people's lives are a mathematical error...a mathematical error I'm about to correct...

[th3vampan3z3l0rd]

When GLaDOS added "to me" onto the end of the "non-deadly neurotoxin" speech I think that is the creepiest videogame voice in a while...

[mastergamer000]

wait why didnt she use her claw thing in portal 1

[potatoes131]

very formal = dairy farmer?

[xynrock]

"Pick it up and just stuff it back in to me."

You mean NO ONE raised their hand and said "I think that sends the wrong message."

[killokid]

@xynrock thats wut she said!

[HanakoNaraku]

"Pick it up and stuff it back in to me" ... Nothing has made me laugh any harder then hearing glados say that

[roster312]

so wait wait wait...Glados knows that the alien ivasion is going on? and she is the only thing that keeps Chell safe from the combine?

[774CcC]

watch with captions. Its kinda funny

[koalalord145]

"Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on!

Elloo!

THAT'S YOU! THAT"S HOW DUMB YOU SOUND!"

My favorite quote of hers...

[phoenix13nl]

@Nihilis92

I believe so, because in HL:EP2, you can see cargo containers from Aperture Science at some point.

[rmeddy1]

It was a Morality Core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.'''

[thecrazysparten522]

Respond to this vi

[rauj13]

@6:00-6:15 Is this a reference to Portal 2?

Also, tropenamer. "Nice job breaking it, hero."

[Nihilis92]

6:34 - 7:00

Is she talking about the Combine? If Half Life and Portal are in the same world, it would make sense.

[rauj13]

@Nihilis92 There's a lot of Black Mesa references as well. The head writer for Half-Life worked on Portal 2 and worked with the writers for the first one to make it fit in with the franchise. They do take place in the same world.

[lizodie]

maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. do you want to marry it? WILL I WONT LET YOU how does that feel? x3

[thecrazysparten522]

@lizodie :( i wanted to marry that morality core

[JollyToaster]

i want to see a glados vs cortana face off

[774CcC]

@JollyToaster i wanna see glados vs mother brain

[JollyToaster]

@774CcC who's that?

[774CcC]

@JollyToaster the man villan of metriod

[strangecommentboy]

@774CcC GLaDoS vs. eagleeye

[774CcC]

@strangecommentboy Or HAL 9000

[GreenShark4]

@ 0:52

Such a big "That's what she said" moment.

[BokuNoHoshii]

Damn, her voice got really seductive and sultry around 1:52 o//o

[celementra]

when i was playing this she said a lil of this but then she was hit with a rocket and stopped

[StormCyberGalaxy]

Favorite quote: "Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error i'm about to correct."

[774CcC]

@StormCyberGalaxy same freind same

[thedoxin]

It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. To make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emmitters.

[mrsubject1]

HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[derekcwly]

She sounds so hot.

[mrsubject1]

@derekcwly yer after 2:09

[113mac113]

2+2 was in my math test and i said 10

[113mac113]

Ohhh whats in here...AHHHHHH

[TheRocketVoltage]

6:29 GOD DAMN!

[aRkLeY70]

"Quote from the video we JUST watched". +200.

[MsSylviaBlue]

Dear YouTube,

This video has a "Dislike" Boutton. Please fix that.

[KyonGivesYouFacepalm]

@MsSylviaBlue Dear MsSylviaBlue, you seem to have problems with respecting the opinions of others. Please fix that.

[MsSylviaBlue]

@KyonGivesYouFacepalm Goodness... I was just trying to share a funny comment. And, If you don't like this video, you don't have to watch it ^__^

So, please take care since you are incapable of telling when a fan is only trying to make other fans smile

[Zantking70]

THAT THING MUST BE SOME RAW SEWAGE CONTAINER! GO AHEAD AND RUB YOUR FACE ALL OVER IT!!!