four year old with aspergers syndrome fixates on numbers

[Trusten1984]

OCD symptoms to ?

[raenorri]

@Trusten1984 yes. its quite common with aspergers to have OCD tendencies.

[sarahtalkpretty]

I agree that it's bizarre how she keeps interrupting him and pushing his buttons. Turn the camera off! There are thousands of videos from mothers claiming they 'only want to help' the world by showing off their kids in a state of meltdown. You need don't need to exploit your child for that purpose.

[raenorri]

@sarahtalkpretty i have uploaded 20+ videos and of those 2 of them show him in any sort of state of frustration or being upset. i can't help that you chose to watch one of those videos. you can believe what you want to believe about myself or my intentions, but when he was being diagnosed i could not find many videos of kids around his age. his diagnosis came earlier than most, so we decided to do this. feel free to watch any of my 20 other videos and enjoy a joyful bright kiddo

[sarahtalkpretty]

@raenorri It's no reflection on him when I say you seem like someone who fancies herself a videographer and is more concerned with your hobby and being 'interesting' than the best interests of your child. I'm sure he's every bit as wonderful as you say, but you should have put the camera away and attended to his needs instead of filming him for 'the greater good.'

[primerodimus1]

@raenorri I also don't think that parents should post these videos for a number of reasons. It invades the child's privacy, makes him into a target for other Youtube users, and could cause him problems later in life especially when he gets into the higher grades and his peers start having internet access.

[primerodimus1]

@raenorri However, I will say that your intentions are noble. You are trying to raise awareness and help other parents. And, above all, you truly love and care about your son and are very patient and understanding with him. There are plenty of other videos on Youtube which actually do show parents exploiting their children. They post videos of their children having difficult moments and, in the process, humiliate and provoke them.

[Zagurzem]

I read the video description and the comments, but can you please explain why he is upset in better detail to me? I have Asperger's myself.

[raenorri]

@Zagurzem mainly, he was upset that he had "messed up" one of the numbers. he was angry he could not erase crayon. he would count and then freak out when he got to the number he had messed up. he wanted me to count with him in the hopes i could "fix" it. i only interrupted to show his lack of willingness to redirect. i stopped taping before we got to the number that he was freaking over. maybe if i had left that part in more people would understand why i was trying to redirect him.

[garden73]

yah stop talking about that! blargh

[survivorfreak1]

janedoe4221, Oh Please, CJ's Mom is so caring and I feel so bad for her when I see all the bad comments, Go and look at the other videos of him there you guys can see how Careful she is with him, She is such a nice person and I have ALOT of Respect towards her, I also have Aspergers and I also have stuff with numbers, they''re so cool :)

[raenorri]

@survivorfreak1 thank you. this particular video gets a lot of hits despite it being one of two that i posted showing him a little upset. many people have opinions on other people's parenting styles when they see a kid upset. most people see only this video without a bigger picture of my channel or knowing that this isn't how i typically handle these situations. the criticism comes with it i suppose. its worth it when i get messages from people who were helped by them.

[janedoe4221]

Seriously, why do you keep interrupting him? It's like you're trying to upset him just for the camera. Look, the child is TIRED and he's already been diagnosed with Asberger's. You don't need to upset him just so he'll have a meltdown so you can get validation from people on YouTube.

PS: Neurotypical children fixate on stuff and get upset when someone is pushing their buttons, too.

[raenorri]

@janedoe4221 i am not posting for validation from strangers but to help in some way other parents who are curious to "see" and i am well aware that neurotypical children fixate as i have an NT child as well. this is NOT how i typically interact with him in these situations. this was difficult for me to do and to post. i wasn't interrupting to upset, but to redirect. this had been going on for a quite a bit before i started taping. if you check previous responses i have given i explain more.

[sherrynalayna]

i think she is trying to let people understand that this disease is real, I have it too. She needed to know the number he wanted to stop on in order for him to feel satisfied. I see nothing wrong with her asking him that.

[lilmissdaydream7]

I used to count like that when I was a child.......I had to go up to 1000 at one point .........probably much to the chagrin of my mum. I don't do this anymore but if I count for any reason ( e.g counting out seconds or items to take with me somewhere) and I miss a number I still always have to go back and start from the beginning. I have AS too by the way =)

[raenorri]

@lilmissdaydream7 thank you for commenting. :) sometimes i think he sees numbers as friends. he really has never stopped loving them. of course, like every good relationship, its evolving. he and his dad was playing mario bros tonight and they were working on level 8. while dad was playing CJ was coming up with all the ways to add up numbers to get 8. makes me proud!

[tymoe417]

Sometimes I want to count. But I don't. I don't count.

[czlucar]

He looks exhausted. Is he able to sleep well? Does he have any allergies?

[raenorri]

@czlucar we have to use melatonin to help him sleep and he does have allergies. we haven't done an allergy test but his poor eyes will get all puffy and red in the spring and beginning of fall.

[raenorri]

@xURB4NxGINGERx i wasn't lying to him. i am a photographer and when he saw the camera he thought i was going to ask him to sit and smile and he wasn't in the mood. all he cared about was that i wasn't taking his picture. the camera didn't and doesn't bother him, just the posing for a shot. he didn't care that i was taking video. i can see how it looks like a lie. he knows the difference between "taking a picture" and video so he dropped it as soon as he knew he didn't have to smile for me.

[xURB4NxGINGERx]

@raenorri So he doesn't like posing, or wants to make sure he does pose for it, or something? I understand

[raenorri]

@xURB4NxGINGERx when he is upset like this then yes, he doesn't want to pose or smile for a photo. but the rest of the time he has no issue with a camera. in fact, typically he loves for me to take his photo.

[AmbientMemories]

I wonder what it's like to feel so intent on something like that. It must be so frustrating. You have a lot of courage to help him through, rather than ignoring it or getting angry.

[mamatude33]

At this same age, my now 11y/o aspie son used to love numbers & alphabet. A 'fun' day for him at the playground was for me to draw large letters of the alphabet with chalk. He'd then run the path like a train on its track, like a lion paces in a cage from one end to the other. Sometimes it was numbers. Sometimes I'd purposely test his tolerance & omit 1-2 letters to build flexibility. This Mom might be intentionally interrupting him to divert his hyperfocus.

[raenorri]

@mamatude33 thank you.

[AlmondEyes661]

why does she keep interrupting him let him count lol

[raenorri]

@AlmondEyes661 if you take the time to read some of the previous comments on the matter you will understand the bigger picture of this moment.

[Nectariamech]

I have a 5 year old Aspie son and I pregnant on my second child (girl). The doctors say the odds are 12% that the child will have Autism. Not necessarily Asperger, it could be something worse. Does anyone have any previous experience on that? Do you know where I could find more information? Thank you.

[raenorri]

@Nectariamech i have heard similar about the 12% chance... we have a three year old daughter who seems thus far to be developing neurotypically. knowing that my husband (and probably his father before him) have aspergers we have a strong genetic link to aspergers specifically. the tricky part is knowing her best peer example is her aspie brother, we have to be careful about what behaviors she is mimicking and what is HER. i would suggest a play group for your daughter early on to help with this.

[Nectariamech]

@raenorri It's good to know that the child is all right! It's such a relief! Of course it had never crossed my mind that she might mimic her older brother. You are absolutely right. We tried to find out if there was some kind of genetic test I could take in order to see if the embryo is Autistic but to no avail. They tell me that there is no such genetic test for my son too.

[motleyminded85]

I have Asperger's and I can tell you the constant interrupting the process is probably driving him NUTS. It killed me to watch.

[raenorri]

@motleyminded85 i know. it killed me to video it and if you read my comments to others on this matter you may see a little clearer the bigger picture of what all was going on. i do not normally interact with him in this way. i would also invite you to watch any other of our videos which shows a much happier boy. i've only uploaded two that showcase him upset or frustrated and go figure, they get the most hits.

[keri15]

I feel like I have been through that exact same scenario with my son. Starting to really wonder. I have known for a long time that there was somethign "special" about him.

[raenorri]

@keri15 i don't know how old your son is, but if you have some concerns an assessment can only help you both. we contacted the metro school system here and he went through the assessment process there. feel free to message me with any questions!

[keri15]

I feel like I have been through that exact same scenario with my son. Starting to really wonder. I have known for a long time that there was somethign "special" about him.

[hawkdreaming]

sorry if that sounded rude... i have aspergers and identify strongly with this whole video. don't feel like you are failing somehow because he is stressing... you are obviously a caring mother. it is far less work than you think because other than cook, clean, dress, discipline, drive, carry, feed, worry, dream, all you really have to do is bare witness to a genius who will automatically find his interests and pursue them... just remove blocks. give him material and be his best friend.

[raenorri]

@hawkdreaming i appreciate your reaching out on behalf of CJ. i understand how frustrating it must be to watch however, as i explained previously to similar responses... this was NOT my typical interactions with him. we were trying to show certain sides of aspergers to help others who have questions.. my husband has aspergers as well so i have a wonderful adult aspie to help me "get" this world. as far as watching genius, i love every minute! he is amazing and wonderful :)

[raenorri]

@hawkdreaming i would really love for you to watch the video of CJ "teaching" about the planets. its a much more typical video clip for us :)

[hawkdreaming]

@raenorri i would love to see that ! is it posted? i will look for it and watch it if it is....  the planets where my first real interest and still are... i even studied astronomy in university. i became an artist as a profession though i am still interested in science. i'm sorry i didn't read the other comments before reacting... you're right, this was a non typical interaction and you are a wonderful mom and a cool person... your husband and son are very lucky to have you!

[raenorri]

@hawkdreaming yes the video is posted. if you go to my channel i believe you can find it easier. he loves saturn the most. for a long time he told me daily he was going to be the first man on saturn. we took him to the science museum here in town and they have a giant planet display. oh my word. the way his eyes lit up will forever be lodged in my heart!

[Nectariamech]

@hawkdreaming I have a 5 year old Aspie son and he is exactly like the video. At the moment I feel I have so much to give to him and he is just stuck there at the missing number when counting, at his collection of batteries that I can not teach him anything. And though he wants all the time to be near him because he says he wants to play with me, he never actually does, but instead he wants me to be in the same room and watch him do things.

[hawkdreaming]

@Nectariamech ... that sounds frustrating and a little heart breaking.. and very familiar. it might not make sense, but when you are present he (in his valid reality) IS playing with you/you with him.. i understand much better now what it is like for others (like you). he is thrilled that you are there to share in his play and discovery... it is a little similar to how guys can share a movie or game and feel like they 'shared' the experience, without even talking to each other really.

[hawkdreaming]

@Nectariamech .. it actually requires much less energy on your part since all you really have to do is be present (not referring to cooking, laundry, discipline, etc..work work work).. it will be better for him i think if you facilitate his interests by listening and then providing things of interest (batteries, books, etc.). he will expand his interests as he feels satisfied or curious.. my dad started beating me at 5 for being in a 'trance' and unresponsive.. i have a physics degree now.

[Nectariamech]

@hawkdreaming Sometimes his dad loses his temper because he compares our son to the sons of his friends and either he feels so disappointed in him that he just refuses to share things with him or he gets mad, shouts and there has been times when he hit him. We have argued about that cause I think it is the worst thing to do. I hate it. Its been 5 years now and honestly I feel that despite all my efforts I have only made scratches on the huge wall of isolation that surrounds him.

[Nectariamech]

Απάντηση σε αυτό το βίντεο... Although it requires less energy from my side, it is at least devastating to feel cut off from your own child's world. I am really happy to know you have a physics degree. I am sure you are really smart. My son is very smart (for his age) too. But a mother needs to let her child know that she loves him by sharing a hag, a caress, a smile. Feeling that all these can't be properly understood and shared with my son just tares me apart.

[hawkdreaming]

DON'T INTERRUPT !!! HE SAID 99... THAT'S WHAT HE SAID... THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT.... THIS GIVES ME NIGHTMARES... LET HIM COUNT when he has been able to complete his need he will feel very accomplished and content. he doesn't live in a world that needs other people to assist... he is a self contained unit that only needs others for support and to study for ideas and patterns... not for facilitating or assistance... love will be in the form of providing opportunity and hugs.

[raenorri]

@hawkdreaming i would like to let you know, before i grabbed the camera we had been at this for a bit. every time we got to 33 he would become much more upset because he had "messed up" the number when he wrote it. i was doing two things here: 1. demonstrating his unwillingness to redirect due to the OCD tendencies 2. trying to capture a moment of frustration with a child on the spectrum in the hopes of helping others families with questions.

[loepsieloes]

maybe its too soon but maybe you should try to learn him some simple sums, like 2 + 2 ore something?

[raenorri]

@loepsieloes actually, he already was doing simple addition and subtraction even at the time of this video. we didn't really teach it to him. he figured it out on his own. we simply taught him the correct phrasing of "plus" "minus" and "equals"... sometimes he mixes up plus and minus, but he knows what he is doing. i have another video uploaded showing him doing sums. i believe it is the one where he is showing off his lego numbers. thanks for watching! :)

[loepsieloes]

@raenorri ok, he is a very cute smart boy, youre blessed with this beautiful little boy !

[raenorri]

@loepsieloes thank you so much, we truly are!

[misspinkpunkykat]

He's trying to say that he wants to count without being interupted. At least that's what I see.

[raenorri]

@misspinkpunkykat there was a bit more to it, but that is a part of it. i have commented to others expanding a bit on the full picture of this moment.

[raenorri]

@respond2cowards thank you for your advice, we have worked very hard with him and for him. we are committed to loving our son and helping him succeed.

[raenorri]

@respond2cowards His father has Aspergers as well and functions great. He works in web development from home. He is also a purple heart decorated army vet who served in Iraq in 2005. People with Aspergers can grow into very capable adults. I am his mom and CJ continues to learn amazing coping skills all the time. This video is from 9 months ago and already we rarely have moments like this one anymore. I have no illusions of "cures" but coping skills are a different story.

[cleach1701hotmail]

He says He wants to count to 99 at the very begining.

[raenorri]

@cleach1701hotmail yes, thank you. i was aware of that. if you read the comments i have posted to others you can understand a little more the full picture of this moment. 

[MsWatcheverything]

@raenorri Hi there. I wonder if you have ever heard about cranio-sacral therapi and the positve effect the treatment has on children with asberger and autism ? Im a CST myself and have seen wonderful things happening to children with all sorts of disorders.Please I hope you will give this a chance and check it out to see if its something your son and your family could benefit from. Good luck toyou and everybody out there struggling :)

[cleach1701hotmail]

@raenorri I know i just thought you didnt know that.

[tracyuk55]

Just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I am trying to identify if my son has Aspergers and am finding these videos helpful.

[raenorri]

@tracyuk55 you are so welcome. i'm very glad they have been helpful for you. that was a big reason we posted them. good luck with your son!

[IndigoCat17]

LOL This is so hilarious he is soo cute <3

[GuerreroBestEver]

I like your kid. He is lovely. I hope when he grow up his meltdown will be less frequent.

[raenorri]

@GuerreroBestEver thank you. he is already having fewer and fewer meltdowns. sometimes he is even able to calm himself without any help. on the other hand, some of his meltdowns have grown in intensity. he is working hard at it. i'm very proud of him.

[iamher87]

Well, the way he is moving his legs is a way a asperger has a meltdown or show impatience.

[linozzy1]

yeah mum your so frustrating...stop making him start over!

[raenorri]

@linozzy1 @linozzy1 and under normal conditions i would have, but the reason i grabbed the camera and interrupted was to show his reactions and to try and allow people to "see" what aspergers can look like. the purpose of that was to help other parents who are wondering. this is NOT how we typically interact. it is just as frustrating that people leave these comments without first understanding what was going on or what purpose there is behind this video.

[seaweedbeach]

he already said he was counting to 99. he was getting annoyed because you kept interrupting him and he just wanted to do it. im not criticizing, just saying, i know how he feels.

[raenorri]

@seaweedbeach i was aware that interrupting him was annoying him. the purpose was to show he would not redirect even with an offer to do something he loves tremendously. what this video doesn't show is before and after. every time he reached 33 he panicked and melted down. he had messed up the number. he had been begging me to "fix" it. something i could not do. i made the decision to get the camera in the hopes of helping a mom or dad to see what aspergers looks like in at least one child.

[raenorri]

@seaweedbeach i would like to add, this is not how i typically interact with him in these situations. Sometimes there is no "right" way to help him through it, but there are certainly wrong ways. i do try and not interrupt him. but i knew once he hit "33" he would become even more distressed. sometimes attempting redirecting is necessary. he does have OCD though and this is almost impossible. these moments are becoming more and more rare. I'm proud of him, and of you. aspie's are amazing people!

[Vincentsdream]

That's quite the primary obsession. It's common with Aspergers, although I'm sure I don't have to tell you that. It can be quite difficult to pull a child away from such obsessive thoughts, at the same time it really shouldn't be looked on as a bad thing. Socializing with other children is something that is needed to properly grow, however it can be quite difficult. Have you guys tried rewarding such behavior? I know it sounds odd, but complimenting him for being so good with numbers could help

[raenorri]

@Vincentsdream oh yeah, we compliment him all the time. he has a huge toy box filled with foam numbers, these days though he has moved on to planets. he LOVES saturn!

[nitamike]

The child should have rights too. I doubt he'd want people to recognize him for his disability. When he gets older, Will this video follow him? Stuff on the Internet NEVER goes away. People can use content and identity anyway they please because it becomes public. I really feel bad for him because he seems in agony while you film Him. I'm not telling you how to be a mom I'm just expressing how it looks on the outside. Somethig to think about is all.

[raenorri]

@nitamike if you watch all of the videos you would see two that show the negative side and all the rest showing him happy, silly, and showing off his talents with numbers. my husband (also has aspergers) and i talked at length before we decided to share these videos and weighed everything. the criticism is tough but it is outweighed when i get emails from other families who have been helped. autism is something people know little about despite the staggering statistics.

[nitamike]

@raenorri your choice. no disrespect, i wasn't saying you're a bad person i was just giving some perspective.

[raenorri]

@nitamike i don't mind opinions when they are presented in a respectful way and so a thank you for that. I certainly appreciate your concern for my son.

[nitamike]

jeez just count the poor kid is being tortured. gosh.

[raenorri]

@nitamike this one 2 minutes and 52 seconds out of a typical day for us. please do not assume that i did not understand my actions were irritating him. my hope is to help other parents with questions about their kids of similar ages by showing his reaction given a certain set of circumstances. this is not typically how i would handle the given situation. also, having a child with OCD tendencies, what might seem like the easiest approach isn't always the best approach for him to teach him to cope

[raenorri]

@nitamike this one 2 minutes and 52 seconds out of a typical day for us. please do not assume that i did not understand my actions were irritating him. my hope is to help other parents with questions about their kids of similar ages by showing his reaction given a certain set of circumstances. this is not typically how i would handle the given situation. also, having a child with OCD tendencies, what might seem like the easiest approach isn't always the best approach for him to teach him to cope

[HalfMachineLipMoves]

recipe for meltdown:

1 AS / OCD child who has a fixation with numbers and needs to count to 99 before he can progress to his next activity

+

1 parent (or caretaker?) who interrupts the counting several times to ask questions, despite obvious signs of extreme distress the child shows when interrupted and distracted from this important mission.

= meltdown

simple math.

[raenorri]

@HalfMachineLipMoves I made the choice to interrupt knowing the reaction i would get. i did this because i am trying to show how a child with this condition responds giving a certain situation. the purpose is to try and help other parents who are in need of seeing what this syndrome can look like for at least one child. your math is spot on and was also the point. i do NOT under normal circumstances TRY to cause him distress, but also with OCD, its important for him to learn to cope.

[leisaandben]

Wow he really reminds me of my aspie son its crazy he also gets fixated on things n ends up havn a huge meltdown glad im not alone. do u live in america. Are you on facebook maybe we could add each other to chat for support?? Up to you. Hope his doing ok at present.