Jesus Returns as a Comedian: Film Trailer

[ChipArgyle]

If Jesus returned, he'd have to spend his entire life proving that he was indeed Jesus while dodging commitment in mental hospitals, unless he started pulling off some pretty wild miracles. Admittedly, his stage act-Jesus Does Magic for Real in Las Vegas-would be simply amazing. Penn and Teller would be out of business pretty darn quick.

[0aiwas0]

the music is great

[raskolnikov1873]

@CptFrenchFry This is just a God of the Gaps argument. If we don't know something then we ought to admit that we don't know something (agnosticism is the proper stance) instead of believing because it makes us feel all gooey inside. We are learning more about the brain every day, so saying that something is "impossible" to know seems a bit hasty. Also, there are many other gods that "ask for belief" based on faith; should we believe all of them since we can't be certain they're wrong?

[krissy4nik]

Lol heaven or las vegas great song!

[116gaara]

what will happen when jesus returns? look in the last book of the bible Revelations

[hairymonsterxxl]

nah.... no chaos, no anything...

we wouldn't even notice him...

[Rubenmon1]

If jesus returned, every thing would fall into the hands of chaos.

[GorgeGeorg]

alder234639,

I'm sorry to say this, but The Spaghetti Monster (I personally know of) is often seen with a creamy mushroom sauce, completely devoid of beef.

RDman

[NunFuckinAppreciator]

If we are all gods children. What makes Jesus so special?

[adler234639]

Well, sperm didn't fly out of the sky and hit your mohter, or did it?

[NunFuckinAppreciator]

Religion is poison!

[adler234639]

ARG!

Hail meatsauce, full of beef. The Spaghetti Monster is with you always!

Rman.

[DISREGARDTHAT11meh]

opium

[websparrow]

You can make fun of everything but you wont make fun out of your death!

[whydid666]

Some people have many people knowing they where about to die tried to make there last scene humorous.

[2pacOG]

when he comes ALL every single person will bow down to his feet, his enemies will be foot stool for him.

[DISREGARDTHAT11meh]

>2pacOG

and what will you do when he don't?

search for 'cargo cult'.

[danvan123]

the cargo cult is an awesome piece of history with all the makings of the big religions! :)  When if first found out about this story i couldn't stop rolling on the floor laughing. Any technology (or trickery) sufficiently advanced beyond peoples current understanding might as well be magic. So happy to see some1 mention the cargo cult

[mdiem]

Ah, Jesus, you're back! Ya' know, some people have been waiting for you...

[AlexNewton1981]

Cocteau Twins- wow, not expecting that.

nice but i don't think you got the motivation down right; if i came back from all that i wouldn't find cruciform shapes so comforting.

[axm015]

is god willing to prevent evil, but not able? then he is not omnipotent. is he able, but not willing? then he is malevolent. is he both able, and willing? then whence cometh evil? is he neither able nog willing? then why call him god? ~epicurus

[Langfordc]

It would be GREAT if Jesus would come back and take all of his crazy-ass followers with him for good! Then, our world wouldn't be nearly as screwed up as it has been! lol

[ToadyTune]

You all are fruits who are gay.... believing Satin will save for he will devower your souls in the fires of hell. Now, would someone want to believe in that?

[h8uall66]

My sheets are made of satin.

[ToadyTune]

What do you mean sheets?

[Spoonfoon]

My Sheets are made of Satin.

And that's just what they'll do.

One of these days these Sheets are gonna sit on top of you.

[h8uall66]

I just don't see why anyone would have a problem with satin.

[Spoonfoon]

Have you ever had Satin sit on you?

It's worse than hell I tells ya!!!

[ToadyTune]

Did he sit on you?

[Spoonfoon]

Satin is a material used for making clothes and sheets.... Satan is the nasty flamey cloven hooved monster man you guys made up.... Very different things indeed....

[ToadyTune]

Have you condemned me to Hell? Because, you hav no right to say so.

[Spoonfoon]

How could I condemn you to hell? Why would I condemn you to hell...

I'm not that vicious...

[PeelTower]

ToadyTune: I have a question.

When Adam and Eve had kids and produced the next generation, who produced the generation after that?

You guys are such weird morons you are beyond ridicule....you really are a fucking nut. Get an education you mug. America really is home to the most idiotic cultish loons outside of the middle east. Stay away from children, you are a liability.

Incidentally, there is no 'w' in devour and there is no 'satan' in the cosmos either.

[ToadyTune]

Uhh.. okay. Adam and Eve was just a story that was ment to be made because of its theme. This happening isn't neccesarily true, but it is claimed to be in the book for purpose that allows catholics to get the meaning out of that story. Bible isn't a text book on history (no I'm not stupid and not well educated for multiple reasons as well as this). In the Bible, their is many errors of dates on problems with things that actually happened.

[Spoonfoon]

'It probably didn't matter that we know the third generation anyway!' (It kinda does. Even though the third generation is there. Which suggests to me that you haven't actually read the book you so purport to live your life by.)

'The bible (again!) is not history book!' (POW!)

On the level though, a guide is no replacement for the truth...

[ToadyTune]

The reason why it was made had reasons of not showing a third genoration. It was ment to give us the meaning of how powerful God is and how he gives us so much that we take for granted (Eve eats the apple because she thinks their is more God can offer or God is not needed for). Do you suspect that in the making of the Bible (after Jesus' death) that someone would know this? You would probably say no, but God channeled his word through the authors of the Bible making the knowlage of this accurate

[ToadyTune]

The second reason that It probably didn't matter that we know the third generation anyway! The bible (again!) is not history book! Besides, a different family of humans may have exsisted as well and no theme came from them. The point is, the Bible is ment to be a role model in what we should do and what we shouldn't do!

[Spoonfoon]

Basically, almost everything you said in those posts is untrue...

And the bits that are only go further to confirm that the bible can in no way be taken seriously.

A few nice lines from your posts...

'This happening isn't neccesarily true'

'Bible isn't a text book on history' (No shit)

'In the Bible, their is many errors of dates on problems with things that actually happened.' (Like how the universe came to be)

[ToadyTune]

Actually you turned what I said in those lines in to crap! If no converting happens here then believe in what u believe in. And I'll believe in what I believe in. Is this an antichrist and satin comment board? Chill out!

[ToadyTune]

I will pray for you because u know not what you do...

[Spoonfoon]

Correction, I know exactly of what I do....

[bulbulxp]

02:00 lol!

[poop1578]

Why is any religion even in existance anyone with an IQ more than that of a retarded monkey would realize it as metaphoric stories to help in life. Not just Abrahamic faiths either every religion thinks they are right Someone's gonna be pissed when they die and find out there is no god, buddha, alla, or Weird space alien.

[madtrasher666]

HAIL SATAN¡

[ToadyTune]

You are fucken stupid!

[madtrasher666]

No, I am not a Christian

[ToadyTune]

Yah, but I am and I just going to ask why you would hail satan, not making fun of u (Likke the movie) because you could believe in anything you want. I'm just asking why...

[madtrasher666]

dude, that was just an expression, i don't even believe in satan (or god, or any other child toy, I am an atheist, just as I wrote that with the encouragement of showing rejection to Christianity.

[ToadyTune]

That's okay, I guess...

[stevehauk]

The real Jesus according to the source could not have even had long hair as traditionally held because the bible says it's a shame for a man to have long hair, and he would of looked like a judean or galilean.

[HydraulicSquig]

Then what about Samson??!!?!?!?!

[stevehauk]

Samson had a special purpose, but I don't claim to know it all, although God changed many things in the NT.

1 Cor 11:14 Does not nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair it is a disgrace for him, 15but if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her for a covering.

[stevehauk]

For preaching the message of "I don't know" as he states, then doesn't it make a lot more sense to not bad mouth God?!? I mean if he is saying he doesn't know then he should be careful just in case! Either he's an idiot or a liar -- or both.

[yourobserd]

why would it matter so much to god? Is it going to hurt his feeling so much he'll condemn him to hell? Sounds like a human to me, nothing like a "god." He never bad mouths god he just asks questions, something brainwashed religious people don't do.

Atleast the devil never judged me or condemns me to anything. "God" is a angry, jealous, and condemning god. I wouldn't want to be in "heaven" with that.

[stevehauk]

You're right brainwashed Christians don't ask enough question. I'm biased towards myself of course, so I say I'm a Christian that is not brainwashed cuz I think outside the box and study the Bible for myself--a rare quality today. It's not a matter of hurting God's feelings, it's a matter of whether he is right or not. He does not just ask questions as you claim, he calls the bible fairytales, something he knows nothing about. Oh do you know who the devil is--not what most Christians think?

[primevalindividual]

If you do not believe on the LORD JESUS CHRIST you will spend an eternity in Hell, regardless of how "religulous" you think this is.

[CosmicGenesis04]

Yeah, cause after all, 'god' is just that loving; enough to burn the greater portion of humanity for their beliefs and not their action.

[watercolorsoda]

I have to say, I don't understand the idea of being anti-religious.  The idea of being so sure that something doesn't exist is just as absurd as being sure that it does.

[Anon11674]

It might help if you asked people why they don't believe. And don't assume they 'believe things don't exist'. Only by asking questions, and listening to the answers, can you understand anything.

Personally, the lack of evidence and the absurdity of christian dogma and scripture, as well as the horrible behavior of many of my fellow christians, led me away.

[watercolorsoda]

That's a misunderstanding. I said I don't understand the idea of being so certain either way. "The idea of being so sure that something doesn't exist is just as absurd as being sure that it does." I'm talking about people who are :certain: about their religious views.

[Anon11674]

Oh, I'm very sure that religion is nothing but man-made nonsense, for the reasons I put forward, and more.

Of course, you can't really prove a negative, but the original positive claim means nothing if it's not justified in any way. In any useful sense, I'm quite certain there is no god, or any other 'supernatural' thing.

It's quite rational to believe gods are superstitious rubbish, because without the claims there wouldn't even be the notion, and these claims fail utterly under scrutiny.

[Anon11674]

After years of further study, the only thing that's changed is now I'm certain that the gods I'm familiar with are nonsense, and there's no real reason to think there's any god out there.

Mind you, that's after years of studying people, their faith, science, and reality. I've learned many things since I left religion, and filled many gaps in my understanding of the world.

Also, not all of us are anti-religious. But many of us are, because of the harm religion (mostly organized) causes.

[lukemitch52]

Excellent point. Well done.

[andeyejah]

evil and crispy asses

[andeyejah]

jesus is coming back with a load of spaceships to burn our evel asses to a crisp crispy crispy duck n orange sauce.

[Tessmage]

Bronze Age fairy tales have no place in the 21st century.

[lildjrobbo]

what us the song?

[vtcpdx]

Jesus is, and always has been, whatever we make him to be. He never died because he never lived and in that sense, he is God. Just as thought is a construct of the mind, Jesus is a construct of the heart and he has been turned into a murderous salve driver by organized religion. Burn down your churches, mosques, and synagogues and only then will Jesus save you.

[JoeSixString]

Whatever, Jesus, is like, so last century.

[alexross8]

I dont believe what i am seeing.

I preached the word of love caring and the truth , yet i receive 2 thumbs down.

Who are the ignorant ones now?

[PUGS1688]

Religion died a couple thousand years ago, move on. Grow up.

[vtcpdx]

Tell that to the Evangelical Zionists who are about to put you in chains.

[Timorio]

You.

[3aver]

Let the ones who are comfortable in their ignorance to stay blind. There's no such worse thing than a blind person that doesn't wanna see. Keep on, keep on.

[goughytheduke]

Religion is the biggest failing of humanity.

[Sanctusorium]

We spend just as much money on building bombs to blow up people with towels on their heads worshiping a different God.

I believe in God, but I believe he wants us to pursue knowledge.. For in the end God is knowledge and we are to try to be as God is.

Lets just stop building bombs to blow each other up with and start helping each other out...

[alexross8]

I preach Hope , love , and truth , but people like to make fun of me for loving enemies?

The world is just the way it was 2000 years ago.

Nobody likes the people that love them.

I say , "lets turn this world upside down" . lets create a world of happiness.

No more ignorance , no more famine , and no more hate.

People..... Please consider this path , and i promise you that you will be happy.

[Sanctusorium]

I - personally - wasn't making fun of you, I was trying to legitimately converse with you about the subject >>;

I love your idea of a world of peace, I really do. But I believe first, we have to learn to stop be threatened by each other and start building medicines and cures to diseases instead of one billion dollar bombs that can wipe out countries at a time.

[feikedoi]

blame it on religion then, its the MORAL EXCUSE to build bombs and blow someone elses beliefs

[feikedoi]

wrong answer! 20 BILLION dollars are wasted annually in superstition like religions and alike and yet, the cure for diseases are still pending. Your donation to build fancy churches could be going into SCIENCE and RESEARCH wich you point as being a problem. You are so BLIND by your faith.

Also, its proven that morality doesnt come from christianity, its in our genes, it was only adopted by christianity.

[PUGS1688]

Couldn't have said it better

[Cannoli440]

very very nicely said.

[crimsonmiagirl]

this is aweful

please father

forgive them

for they know not what they do!

he is coming back!

please

reconsider jesus christ!!!!!

[raskolnikov1873]

I'll tell you what. You learn how to spell "aweful" (I'll help you out: it's "awful") and I'll reconsider Jesus Christ. By the way. You sound so sure that Jesus is coming back. How do you know? Are you hearing voices? (if so, it's called schizophrenia, not revelation).

[mtded]

is this sateric?

[Rationalific]

Yeah, I like that song, too!

[zettarock]

What's the name of the song?

[Rationalific]

I found the song (thanks to someone else saying the Cocteau Twins) - "Heaven or Las Vegas".

[zettarock]

Awesome, thanks.

[dookdawg214]

That must be NY where he's lying down on the sidewalk. You do that shit here and nobody cares. They just walk on by.

[agryson]

The bit on Grafton St. was hilarious!

[shine090909]

You know, there might be something to this. I've always thought that George Carlin was Jesus.

[licketyZsplit]

Reply to shine: Thank you. George was at least honest and thoughtful & someone I adored and thought highly of. Religious zealots need to go handle lots more poisonous snakes.

[mikeljm]

Who does this song?

[PlanetoftheAtheists]

Cocteau Twins

[andretheking86]

i remember when gas was 2.96 . . .

[Kzb75]

Thanks for posting your Video, great song also.

[reesnixon]

Did Jesus just get bitchslapped?

[torin006]

Apparently Jesus was white. Who knew?

[Itsjustme222]

Yeah I think if the space man were to return and attempt to save people, fighter jets would be scrambled to shoot him down. Then if by chance he made it down to earth without be shot down by the fighter jets he'd probably end up in a mental institution for proclaiming himself as son of god that was born over 2000 years ago. Humanities only hope is itself.

[aldolowe]

good comment, i agree with you completely

[theogore]

comedyjesus' message kicks the shit out of any religious dogma...

[methinxaweezil]

I hope this documentary isn't about all that namby pamby turn the other cheek kinda stuff. We wanna see Jesus doin some big time smiting.

[Canaximander]

Looking forward to this. I heard you did come back and they told you to "cut your hair and get a job, hippie!", accused you of being a peacenic and anti-American and homeland security detained you for three weeks. Any truth to these rumors? Um...Amen?

[AZNAtheist]

If Jesus came back, he *would* be called an anti-American peacenik hippie.

[drakeblackhorn]

jesus of the bible was a chip off the old block, and paid about as much lip-service to peace as his daddy.

what most christians today really follow would be... hmm, i think it was paul's writings. might be another disciple.

he went against jesus on some matters. of course, christians would actually have to read the whole bible, and compare and contrast the writings, and we all know that's heresy.

[Evanmileus]

thats low res for u

[JoshuaTrio]

Jesus is nepotism personified, he only got the job because of who his dad was,.... I could have been a far better messiah given the chance ...... once again it's not what you know, but who you know.

Who would have thought Paris Hilton and Jesus would have had so much in common?

[grnmessiah]

When and Where can I buy the documentary?

[jedi1josh]

What's white and falls from the sky?.....The coming of our Lord.

[Track607]

"It's a bird, it's a plane. No, it's the lamb of god"