How to recognise an emotional manipulator

[louis12346]

TV

[KamaniLankachandra]

I am Dr. Lankachandra, and I use fear to convince people that i am a victim and then fire others. Even though what i am saying makes absolutely no sense, I throw in the word "patient care" and then say it again "patient care", and then fire people.

[tkathryyn]

bpd's at least in my case does this a lot.

[8Recon8]

great

[returnoftheramble]

if they know they have control, you're screwed. I have a relative like this, and it drives me up the wall bc i'm like off or something. I had two emotions: rage and anxiety. I don't care about rejection.

[QMTOGR]

You can counteract any fears you may have, and drown out noise to stay focused, by creating your own solution to the non-existential problem. "I'm scared I'm going to be rejected for" in general, your psychological state by default believes that you "need" approval from people, because we're social creatures, and therefore, being rejected by them, suggests that a supply of something "vital" will be cut off to your survival. What are they going to think of my attributes? answer:.. fuck'em.

[CassieAnnaCary]

"All my friends think you're a crazy bitch (because that's what I made them think, even though they barely know you at all) so, you're gonna have to go sit in a coffee shop for a few hours when they come over. by the way, I love you"t

[montebosss]

We all manipulate but the manipulators that are discussed are the abuser.

[YAMIYAMIRUSH]

It's simple guys. If you consider yourself a victim chances are you will be one your entire life. Don't be a victim. We aren't perfect as humans and we give into temptation and ego, it's what mammals do. Don't feel bad for being yourselves and tell them assholes what's up.

[bettycroker101]

For 15 years I was married to a controlling man and suffered from what I didn't know at the time was Emotional Abuse till I asked for help. Then I couldn't live like that no more, I seen what it was doing to me, my children and my family, each and every one of us was affected by this. Now it has been over 4 months since I left him. He hasn't changed, no matter how much counseling he goes to, he still tries to control me, and now he is doing it to the older children that stayed with him.

[suchafool990]

@bettycroker101 its all about making you a slave and reducing you down to the status of a robot whose only purpose is to serve your master without question.

[tallestbeauty]

This is exactly how governments work.

[claygirl65]

Awesome vid.

[Kathydrel]

That's what i needed to hear ,that there is a way through it. Thank you ,you can't change your bully but you can change yourself... I just need to know HOW! ...just like God says "fear not" set boundaries and do not fear the consequence .

[Futuremindtraining]

@Kathydrel My pleasure :)

[love2sing4ever2000]

I dont know if this is emotional abuse, but my mum always says stuff like "if you dont ............ Then i will tell everyone at your school including teachers what you put me through" and she compares me to people calls me stupid and a spoilt brat. Im not spoilt. She says much worse but i dont wanna post it just in case. Is this emotional abuse?

[Futuremindtraining]

@love2sing4ever2000 HI, unfortunately it is sorry to say, anything that motivates action through another person feeling anxiety is EM - we all manipulate but from what you say it sounds like its to drive guilt.

[kissemurra12]

@Futuremindtraining I think your correct. if this is known to the person who tries to do something through another person feeling anxiety, knowingly, what about unknowningly?

such as "would you kindly open the door" and said person feels good about having a kind word spoke to them, or at least kind implications and thus do it. if the person stating such a thing do it not knowingly but rather something they been learnt how to be polite, is that manipulative or?

[kissemurra12]

Second, is it ok to when you(know you been through emotional abuse by that person before) record it and then tell people about what that person is doing. since it may or may not be self defense.

[Benisdebomb]

8 people are manipulators

[vatreniboris]

Guilt is also a powerful tool...in a recent situation I was in a guilt trap. It took a person dear to me to help me out. It just took her to mention the word "guilt" and it all came to me in a moment like a revelation. I realized that that guilt dynamic and not affection was what was keeping me from breaking the relationship I let go.

[noobler9]

when dealing with cultish people, it's generally best to troll them hard, and make sure you're able to defend yourself~

[gefftom]

hey ive been screwed by a guru i dont know what to do..?

[Futuremindtraining]

@gefftom My friend - im truly gutted that a so called "helper did that to you :( I had the same when learning all this myself its cost me several £thousand - although i don't know exactly what happened, id suggest research as best as you can - go with your gut and also get testimonials, unfortunately it is too easy to get an award or qualification in the psychological field nowerdays - people can even get "psychotherapy distance learning award in only 9 lessons ????

[gefftom]

@Futuremindtraining yes i have alot to say however,, i think people that think they are helping people are not, and maybe the only way to help people is human emotion

[mrken001]

@Futuremindtraining Do you think its a good idea to put forth multiple fake targets or vulnerabilities about yourself in order to distract and waste your manipulators time and energy?

[Cindycllns]

Some of what your saying is false

[Futuremindtraining]

@Cindycllns Thank you for your reply, which part about it do you feel is false? Im always keen to hear new points of view

[achuz999]

omgggggggggggggg iam a victim n i never knew that. my sister always use to shout at me, fight with me and i just kept quite and cried. thank you so much now i know i was bullied. i always thought that was part of her personality. from now on i will try not to get bullied. i will belive in my self

[Futuremindtraining]

@achuz999 Your not a victim any more now you recognise it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

[ulkord]

if you know the characteristics of manipulative people its easier to detect and avoid them even though its sometimes hard

[Futuremindtraining]

@GentlePoet1984

Great to hear thats a great feeling to know that the ideas will help, please post how it goes next time and if i can help further i would be glad to

[lovemyselfforever86]

this sounds exactly like the coward who has and still is mentally, emotionally and psychologically abusing me. he's has accomplices too, that's even more sickening, that others know about his evil towards me and do nothing but enable him to be a emotional manipulator.

[Futuremindtraining]

@lovemyselfforever86 Sorry to hear your situation and that others are joining in, when gang mentality takes over, the most effective technique i could offer is to learn leadership strategies, although i know when i had that i didn't believe i could ever be that way, but the group will usually change from minute to minute and group mentality change can be gained by anybody at any level, trust me on that one- I wish you well my friend.

[horsie111]

Interesting to me how the author of the video went to pains to point out the negative effect the label of "victim" has on people, though it's just a video. He to me refers to its self-fulfilling effect: in that people who believe they are victims, even when they are not, become victims and lose power over their situation.

This is the message of political demagogues all over: You're a victim and someone is to blame. They disempower the people they claim to help while empowering only themselves.

[tinyctlo]

Thank you, thank you..... for saying "you must believe in a way out."

[Futuremindtraining]

@tinyctlo

Thank you also for your kind words :)

[malimico2010]

none of them abusers choose strong person to manipulate or whatever .. they only do it to weak ones ,to those spineless no good ones ...the ones that deserve it cos they make me sick ... so its true ,you deserved it to happen to you

[tinian33]

I prefer to use a left hook to the body, followed by a right hook to the jaw, and finish them with a left uppercut.

[Habakkuk2v20]

Thanks!

[clairejgray]

My advice is to be yourself. People who respect you will also respect that people have their own opinions and do not bully to change them

[Hawaiiansky11]

@clairejgray - That's fine and dandy when you are talking personal relationships. But when you work for a master manipulator, there is no easy way out.

[Futuremindtraining]

@Hawaiiansky11

Hi and thank you for your comment, I know it can be very difficult when working for a manipulator as they have control (to a degree) over our income. Master manipulators in work aim to lower our energy to cause a loss of belief in ourselves so we dont leave the job (or are too scared to) this is how they gain their power. I know it is challenging as i was caught in this loop for 3 years in 2004, be cautiouse of their games and ask how true their words are

[ACEMOM2010]

This is good....

[KamilaDewhurst]

emotional manipulator now that's not a threat to people.

[natalytvuk]

thank you very much for the video. It helped me to recognize my fears and to learn more about myself.

It takes a "victim" to make a "victim".