How to Survive an Atomic Attack

[schusterlehrling]

You only survive to suffer.

Live is no fun with high radiation level, nuclear fallout, destroyed infrastuctre, not to mention looting and breakdown of all civil and military structures.

[Oxidized181]

be somewhere else when it happens lmfaoooooo thanks mister obvious

[thanqualthehighseer]

BE CHUCK NORRIS!

[mkmason2002]

Don't work for the US govt. either.

[kevilinsky]

Be far away when it happens. Move to another planet.

[MrNinjaKiwi13]

Build a vault and stay hidden for 300 years

[TheRealLiLJAMES]

just sit back, relax and sing some frank sinatra- fly me to the moon and hope something happens

[Unicron4ever]

"Be some place else when it happens..."

Lol, that's the only useful advice I've ever seen in those movies...

[brandont2003]

100 of ppl with no shirts would say GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE!

[johnsterperson]

can anyone imagine what it would be like to have to live in conditions like the movie the book of eli? it would suck. unless the internet was still up and running and people were on it XD

[DonBringer]

no one can! you will die on the fucking super intense heat of the atomic bomb! more that 30,000 DEGREES C*.

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@DonBringer Depends how close you are...as far as I am concerned I would want to be as close as possible. Sound crazy? Vaporizing is painless...the closer you are the better chance you have of that. Ironically, people running away will have the most suffering, gradual death to horrible illness...no clean water...no medicine for pain, etc..."And the living shall envy the dead."

[3DPlanets]

@DonBringer

Nobody can survive a nuclear attack? Google hibakusha.

[MrApplePoop]

what to do in a nuke? GO FIND A FRIDGE

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@MrApplePoop And hold your breath?

[3DPlanets]

How do you survive global thermonuclear war? Make sure you live on Mars. #LOL

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@3DPlanets But there's no air! :P

[3DPlanets]

@IloveyouLenaKatina

Live under a dome full of air. Or in a space station.

[dodgedart74]

stand in the door jam?

[TheSisko1]

just duck

[JamesRFund]

Be sure to store ice in a bomb shelter, because afterwards the beer might be a little warm

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@JamesRFund Put your beer in the fridge and you in the bomb shelter. Fridges will keep your beer radiation free. :D

[JamesRFund]

@IloveyouLenaKatina will the radiation keep my beer cold while i am away from it?

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@JamesRFund No, the refrigerator will protect your beer from radiation, also I think the ice will stay colder in the fridge/freezer than in the bomb shelter. Hmm...actually, put your fridge/freezer IN the bomb shelter, put your ice and beer in the freezer of the fridge, and you in the regular part with an oxygen supply, shut the door, and then kiss your "self" goodbye. (I am silly and obsessive, aren't I?!) Geez! Hey, maybe we should invent a bomb shelter that is protected like a fridge! :P

[Deefultz]

i think i run at the explosion with a machete and try to fend it off with a lead suit

[rufas163]

How to survive a nuclear attack ?

DO NOT GET ON THE US or RUSSIAS BAD SIDE

other than that make sure ur not a virgin

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@rufas163 "...make sure ur not a virgin." Do I even want to ask?

[redpitbdygard]

I guess the Joke will be on us.When Tom cruise doesnt let anybody into his underground buncker

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@redpitbdygard Are you kidding, ol' TC will be worshiping "the mushroom of many suns, as foretold by someone"! Be a dear and get him some sun lotion SPF 1000, would 'ya?

[redskins207]

another ways is to not piss off the U.S or russia!!!trust me

[dodgingaces]

how to survive a nuclear attack.......dont live in the U.S. lol jk

[FATTYMAN331]

@dodgingaces No do not live in South Korea -_-

[Blueicm]

@dodgingaces

Live in mexico

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@Blueicm Hahaha...yeah...just live as far away from US border as possible!

[hitlersucks101]

reinforce your basment........

[johnsterperson]

play video games and eat choclate. you will live.

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@johnsterperson Or at least you will have a much higher quality of life...until you die.

[theaquagod]

Ill call Chuck Norris to shield me with his body.

[michaeljohndudley]

what to do in an atomic attack? PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS AND KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE!!!!!

[michaeljohndudley]

our bomb shelter in catholic school had 8 foot windows. I think the nun's thought that God would protect us!!!

[kazetehskylord]

... That's pretty fucking stupid. No offense.

[michaeljohndudley]

kaz, it is no more stupid than the teachers telling us to duck and cover our faces under our desks. The desk was supposed to protect us from the bomb and fallout!

[kazetehskylord]

Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Seriously?

BTW, It's Kaze! :o3

[michaeljohndudley]

very! It's a wonder that the baby boomer made it this far! On rainy days my brother and i would be in our rooms making model cars and airplanes with 2 or 3 tubes of that very toxic airplane glue open with closed windows. Later when I became a hippy we used to squeeze that airplane glue on a sock and pass it around and get really fucked up!! They used to mix DDT and kerosine and plow the white smoke from the back of a station wagon. we kids would squirl around in the smoke!

[michaeljohndudley]

My dad wanted the house totally fire proof so we had asbestos siding from the roof to the cellar! We lived in a tomb! One good thing was that traveling was so easy then. They ticketed on the eastern shuttle in the air. You just walked on the plane in Boston, got your ticket and got off at JFK in New York.

[kazetehskylord]

... Right... And what does this have to do with survival of a nuclear attack?

[SnipingPug56]

@michaeljohndudley no not true

[sonicfanboy598]

if we survive i'm gona keep the bible there gona destroy all of them i bett. and i bet this will happen.

[warmanten]

if this happens we'll all get to live Fallout the game. I CALL DOGMEAT!!!!!!!!!!!

[skyhawk431]

I CALL FAWKES!!!!!!

[kazetehskylord]

I CALL... Um... A... Teddy Bear?

[thecolinnader]

why dont we(the US) just build an underground shelter/tunnel that goes all across America so when and if we get nuked we will have some where to go

[ISayNukem]

I gotta say, though, I don't know many people that would describe it as "enchanting", distance or no. =D

[DobermansRock]

If you survive be ready for the day after........

[ISayNukem]

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!!!

I have that movie. \m/ If you're into that sort of thing, and reading, check out On The Beach by Nevil Shute.

[ISayNukem]

I'll make a note of where the next bomb is going to drop, and plan on being somewhere else. Easy enough. =D

[umahuma4]

how to survive swine flu, go to a pig farm and kiss some pigs.

[zack2703]

get a lawn chair, sunglasses, and a hawaiian shirt and just sit there and watch it happen, you will live.

[EyFmS]

Don't forget the Mai Thai whit the little umbrella!!

[zack2703]

Dear god, how could I have!

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@zack2703 Depends on how big it is, how far away you are, and how much you like cancer.

[zack2703]

@IloveyouLenaKatina

I wasn't serious when I said that :P

[IloveyouLenaKatina]

@zack2703 Sorry, there are some nuts on here who will write and/or believe anything...sometimes I answer with humor, and sometimes I get serious...and apparently sometimes I mis-read the whole thing. Have a nice tan! (I wonder if they will ever invent "anti-radiation" tanning lotion?) XD

[mikoel7]

why so seroius?,+.

[axeshredstorm69]

duct tape?

[ZenCopain]

Stick your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye, THAT'S HOW!

[jimbo7348]

To survive a nuclear attack just bend over, place your head between your legs and then kiss your ass goodbye....lol.

[bigmarlaz]

In the words of Jimmy Carr- "I'd just go to downtown Hiroshima- what are the chances of that happening again?!"

[Jonhny2]

yeah, lightning doesn't strike twice right?

[Raven4511]

If you want not to die by a nuclear attack Suicide. You will not be killed by a nuclear explosion if you kill yourself by a gun before it blast. ^^

[PuppetXeno]

Or do like Indy did it: crawl inside a refridgerator.

[GenerationxPlastik]

Bahahaha.

Duck & cover was only taught to keep social control.

"IF YOU SEE THE WHITE FLASH, DUCK & COVER!"

[09darjac]

if u stay indoors ur less likely to get incinerated.

[Jonhny2]

LOL to that one

[Humanimalist]

Easy. Live your life and die before 1945 when they were invented.

[rednight666666]

best to just die quick in the blast or you can survive and have a slow and painful death from the radiation

[BillyDa59]

You could try ducking. I hear if you see lighting about to hit you, you can duck that too.

[Treblaine]

"Be somewhere else when it happens..."

Right, off to Alaska, land of the... ah, most likely to survive post apocalyptic disaster!

[dagda825]

ROTFLMAO

[connor828]

a sound (and very obvious) bit of advice,there...

[Gazzy1500]

easy xD

[djmarkcotter]

haha i was totally thinking that! dont get near one, lol

[goddesslush]

Run really really fast..... of course im joking for anyone who take this comment seriously.

[animeownage86]

Oh I really like the burst into flames eye's melt out of your head part. Can't wait for McCain to win so I can laugh at the deadbeat across the street... oh wait across the street... oh shit were sooo screwed.

[Stefnir94]

There was a guy working in the south tower of WTC during the 9/11 terrorist attacks. He was on the same floor the plane hit. In fact, the planes wing was only a few feet away from chopping his head off, BUT he ducked and covered, and survived.

[roberto376]

really?? i wouldve thought the collapses and flames, smoke, etc. would kill him if he was that close.

[Stefnir94]

See? Duck and cover really works.

[mannyposh]

duck n cover :D

[goddesslush]

Umm.. yes and leave a nice carbon copy of yourself.

[miky261]

they jus too embarrased to admit that there is no survival of a nuke.survive the explosion, ull die of radiation. end of story.

[goddesslush]

depending on where you are, wind effects fall out too.

[keysersoze5]

I was seriously expecting the advice to be "duck and cover"!

[Tachin1994]

yap... really usefull...

[evesapple]

'be someplace else when it happens'--- good advice.

[Kustav]

I was one of the test subjects for nuclear radiation. I was right in the middle of the explosion. What you have to do in order to surivive, is to run directly toward the bomb/missile. The closer you are to the initial explosion, the better due to it exploding around you.

[halo7880]

LOL

[hamster700]

answer u cant dumbass when u survive the bomb what are u gonna do 4 food when stuffs bin contaminated plus u get deadly radiation poisoning wot a load of crap

[larrypearce2]

How to survive a nuclear attack?

Answer: Get your ass to the moon somehow!!!

[themanwhorocks34]

There is a 1-999,999,999,999 chance that the average 19 year old will survive the blast, radition, and fallout INSIDE COVER. Not only will the blast go off, but the fallout can kill billions if it drifts to another continent

[glowasted999]

As taught in the military, duck cover, put your legs facing up, as if youre rolled up in a ball since bone reflects radiation better than flesh.

[Kustav]

lolwut.

[Metallicakicksbutt]

They were well aware duck and cover didn't work.But if they would show what a h-bomb could really do there would be widespread panic.Only in the late 70's did people in general realize how destructive a nuclear war would be.

[drright71]

Duck and cover works perfectly well. It increases your chances of survival from none to slim. I'll take slim, thank you very much.

Besides, you might be outside of the blast radius, but the heat flash (or thermal pulse) can still burn you. Like a REALLY FAST sunburn. "Cover" is to cover your exposed skin to protect it from the heat flash.

[SCE2AUX]

Duck and cover wasn't going to protect you if you were located within the fireball or blast radius, but it would protect you from flying debris on the outskirts.

[redsummers]

Duck and cover!