Passing Thoughts

[andreaburnett]

I don't know what you do for a living, but I must say that you have a genuine natural talent with words. I would love to see you working as a counselor or writing a book or even doing speaking engagements. You bring beauty, love, and acceptance of self that needs to get out there to the public as a whole! You have so much to offer this world, and I wish the entire world could be blessed to hear some of your posts. You teach me with every post, thank you!

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thanks Andrea.....your words mean a lot to me. While painting has been the focus of my profession for a long time, it is also true that initially and for many years I pursued writing - thus my love of words. I also know that i need to get back to making videos and speaking my thoughts more. As for writing a book.....maybe one of these days. I would like that.

[heythrdelilah91]

Sarah, that is the best metaphor!

[unmeasuredinstances]

Loved your intro vid and subscribed! So thank you as well.

[roseblossoms00]

wow i'm loving this unmeasuredinstances marathon lol

[unmeasuredinstances]

OK, just how much DO you want to make e blush :)

[roseblossoms00]

more than u thought was possible :) what can i say i am just stating what ur video made me feel

[r10warrior]

Thankyou

[r10warrior]

you.. are.. amazing.

[unmeasuredinstances]

:">

[maimelania]

You are a beautiful person and God bless you! I wish that we could live in a world where one can dress and present themselves as what they feel as; or passing or not passing is not an issue. But unfortunately, we don't live in that world. Life can be very difficult when you dont pass because all the ridicule, prejudice, and hate etc. can take a toll on your self-esteem and putting yourself in danger. But I guess at the end of the day, its not really about gender but SELF and God loves us all.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thank you! I agree - which is why I also said that my vision was a dream. Until then, we ALL (trans and non) make compromises at some level and the best we can do, I believe, is to at least be fully aware of those compromises while never losing sight of the goal - which for me is still that vision of being authentic, genuine, and true to our self.

[CaineShep17]

wow i never thought i could relate to something as simple as immigrants.

[unmeasuredinstances]

At some level that experience of immigrants, of being strangers in a strange land, describes so many journeys of self and of change. Glad you like it.

[pliauska]

if the gender is not so important - why did you change it? that means that it is important what you feel. so - if you feel that you feel as a women, you strugle to become one. if the gendre is not imporant why you changed yourself?

[unmeasuredinstances]

Great question. It is true that gender is important to me, but once you put that on the table and you realize that you are going to risk everything in your life for this, then I think you owe it to yourself to put EVERYTHING else on the table as well. Gender is one part of life, and was something I needed to change to be true to myself, but there are many other aspects of life that are equally important.

[unmeasuredinstances]

One can certainly transition and still not be genuine, just as people who don't transition can be less than truthful about who they are. My point is this - if you are going to transition, then go the WHOLE way and become absolutely real and true to your FULL self, with no compromises. Don't trade one box, one compromise, for simply another. Make sense?

~Sarah

[pliauska]

yes. Thanks for your answer. I respect you, because you try to be truthul in everyway.

good luck

[fishybuiziness]

you know what i think of you.. but Is transition actually being true to yourself ? isnt transition in itself trading one set of problems for another? also who does a person really transition for? in theory themself right.. but in reality i wonder if that true? I think it is so terribly unfair that trans people all going in the oposite direction mtf - ftm ect, society norm's has alot to answer for...

[unmeasuredinstances]

You pick up on some great central and complex issues. In many ways we all transition - from childhood to adulthood, from what our parents or society wants us to be to - hopefully - a deeper realization of ourselves. If gender or sexuality proves to be an integral part of that larger context and journey, then it is simply one facet of a truthful unfolding of self. If, on the other hand, it remains superficial or simply a swapping of social roles or norms - then yes, I think you are right.

[furiousjade]

interesting.... thank you for the wisdom for the night. i have a subject to meditate on, again thank you.

[unmeasuredinstances]

You are so very welcome!

[jayec009]

I really apperciate your wisdom. You make me think about things from a different perspective. This was a very enlightening video. Thank you for sharing.

[unmeasuredinstances]

You are so very welcome Jaye. I don't know about wisdom - but it does mean a lot to me when these vids seem to help and touch people. So thank you for spending time to watch and letting me know how you felt.

[ulaladiva]

I greatly enjoyed this video. Thank you for taking a mature and pro-active attitude toward this subject that affects you, me, and many others.

Mercury

[unmeasuredinstances]

Yes, it truly does affect all of us. I struggle with these issues alongside the rest of you and gain strength from knowing we are all in this together.

[nicanewnew]

Thank you again, Sarah.

I have struggled so much with this.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Sorry it has taken me until now to respond. I hope you find your way with these things - that the struggle, even if it doesn't completely cease, at least allows you to grow and strengthen your sense of who you are and the beauty inherent in all of us.

[rockybabes1234]

hi sarah, annie here,i have recently made contact with you and i find u very interesting and very welcoming to question's and answers!!keep being who u wanna be sarah and god bless!!xxxx

[unmeasuredinstances]

Hi Annie! Thank you so much...it was nice to meet you and to have a chance to 'talk'. Take care. ~Sarah

[loetje]

Dear Sarah,

I do so totally agree that it's not about gender, but authenticity, honesty, transparance. I always find myself being unable to lose the boyishness, for i would loose the child whitin.

It's so lovely to see you express feelings that i, at 40, am starting to put into words, with often still too much anger at this strange land. Of course there is a battle to be fought, always, but the battle for peace of mind is the most important... You, with your beautiful mind, help. Thank you!

[unmeasuredinstances]

Not sure this ever took as a reply so am reposting it:

As with my other replies to you, I can only express my gratitude for how deeply you have felt towards my vlogs. It truly means more than I can express in these short paragraphs.

I look forward to learning more about you as well.

~Sarah

[tangogent]

This is so good that I've bookmarked it to share with therapy clients of mine who are transitioning. I've been concerned about the Internalised Transphobia--a term I can't believe I've invented--implicit in 'passing'. I have an holistic view of the personal growth people do going through transition and, you're right, why settle for the frightened, inauthentic state of being closeted as the outcome? Kindest regards and all best wishes, Kenneth Demsky, PhD

[unmeasuredinstances]

An obviously VERY belated reply to your wonderful comment. Thank you so much for your appreciation.

[gothique11]

Awesome vlog, thnx for posting it. :)

[ClosetCaseLez]

Wow what a beautiful video. I never thought of it this way, very moving! I truly wish to be genuine one day with all I meet. I hope you have the best life ever!

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thank you.

It can take time to figure things out - in terms of who you are, and being genuine - but then it's the process of discovery that is the fun part. I know I'm certainly not done yet, so it's a lifelong journey. Never ends.

[belindadarlington]

I dont think sexuality is like being another race, if you dont pass you can get harressed everytime you leave the house not just when you pass by a racist. I think you are right go all the way to pass, to me it cost nothing more than a few operations to now walk the streets & not have ANYONE stare or point, its worth it.

Belinda

[unmeasuredinstances]

I actually never refer to race, only to being an immigrant. Important difference. Also reference to 'going all the way' was about genuineness and authenticity, never passing. Personally I find passing, as a concept, deeply problematic. It always entails conforming to some established image. Which doesn't mean it might not be desirable, or even necessary at times. But as I said: I don't want to judge and would like to think we each make those choices we believe will make us the most real.

[belindadarlington]

You said your relatives had nose surgery & dyed there hair to change themselves to conform......I dont think passing is conforming it just gives you peace of mind.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Not them personally - but they did change their name, kept their religion private. My Dad even 'passed' as Christian to bypass quotas in med schools. But it wasn't for peace of mind. They knew they were hiding who they were in order to survive, get ahead. My generation though has reclaimed the old names and the old customs. We are finally able to be publicly proud of our heritage whereas my relatives could not.

[Fieldofaware]

I could not agree more! Have you ever noticed that the ones that talk about passing not being important, are the the ones that do not or perhaps will never have the money for ffS,

dont want to work on their voice, or are just to masculine in general to ever pass no matter what!

Passing IS important it is about survival!

[belindadarlington]

I agree !

[unmeasuredinstances]

You are right - passing often IS about survival, absolutely. But conforming to an accepted image or hiding one's past are also strategies for survival, especially in hostile environments, and so are often seen as necessary. But that doesn't mean they should be embraced as virtues - just necessary evils. Likewise, one can acknowledge the need to pass in order to survive without holding up 'passing' as a virtue in and of itself.

[belindadarlington]

It may be a necessary evil I know girls that have been bashed to death simply because they look masculine I have not given up any of my heritage or relifion I simply look like a version of what I would have looked like if I had been born a girl.

[Juststircrazy]

Your videos just SUCK me in. They're so beautiful. Speechless...

xoAudra

[unmeasuredinstances]

You're the sweetest...thank you!

[shirleyof]

How much did you spend money to turn your sexual? I need to know it because it's my problem. Please help me.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Your channel says you are in South Korea, so your options and expenses will be very different than mine. In the US things are definitely very expensive, while Indonesia - which is closer to you - would be far more affordable. However these are extremely personal choices that you would need to research carefully.

[KitaNatalia]

This is a really great way, i think, to try and explain how it feels. I enjoy your videos, you're so sincere.I feel like you are someone i could sit down and talk to :-)

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thank you AJ....you're a sweatheart.

[foxfire148]

I just love your videos. You speak from the heart, and it shows. Thank you for using this medium to share your wisdom with the world. Love and compassion just ooze out of you. I think that you're fantastic.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Following on the entry by proudprogressiveTG below, it is hard to know what to say. 'Thank you' starts to sound so bland. I truly am SO grateful for the responses and support I have gotten, and for the community (however virtual) that I feel a part of.

[proudprogressiveTG]

what a beautiful person, soul you are, truly one of the most articulate thoughtful messages i have seen in my TG youtube travels. Kudos to you dear one. Kudos - keep speaking your heart and beautiful mind. You make us all proud. WE are the mercury and we are the treasure of this planet. Wonderful - you are !

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thank you....your words mean a lot to me. Truly.

[SCGS99]

although that i hate transexuals... i loved this video. i have a new view of them.

[unmeasuredinstances]

I'm glad, I guess, if this was able to change how you view transsexuals. But why ever hate us in the first place? We're just people...no different from anyone else.

[terraceterra]

I wish you the best as you continue to reach your goals on your unique personal journey of life. Very interesting.

[terraceterra]

Wow...this gives one a lot to think about. I hope your vision on the future comes soon. If we could live in a world of this kind of acceptance I think we would be living in a much better place. I think acceptance is possible with example, education, and exposure to the issues. I think it is a way way uphill battle at this point even though it has come a long way, but maybe in some distant day it will be a non issue. You come across as very genuine, gentle person.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thank you for such warm and kind words. I wish it WOULD come soon(I'm a romantic at heart) but I'm also enough of a realist to know it's going to be a hard and difficult path ahead. But we ARE moving forward, slowly, and forming small islands of community in the process, like this one. And I'm so glad you are along for the ride.

[punkieboy1]

5 STAR'S WISH I COULD GIVE YOU A 10.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thank you!!

[punkieboy1]

YOUR SOOOOOOOOO WELCOME TAKE CARE.

[Larryk12308]

Like everyone else has said

Well put Sarah

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thank you Larry. I never expected to get so many positive responses - so this has been very gratifying. I appreciate you taking the time to add your voice.

[briannarose99]

A truly amazing video. So true and so beautifully spoken. Something everyone should see.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thank you - I appreciate the support.

[psykickdancehall]

That was a great video. You expressed yourself so beautifully and eloquently. I'm sure a lot of people have found a lot of comfort in your words. Hugs and kisses from Helenxx

[unmeasuredinstances]

Helen, thank you....it's nice to think my words can do some good, or provide some comfort. And hugs to you as well....Sarah

[Bradly62]

Thank you.

[unmeasuredinstances]

My pleasure.

[JAnnOMal]

You are an amazing, incredible people, and I'm so proud and honored to know all of you!!!!

-Annie

[unmeasuredinstances]

And you Annie are simply the sweetest. Thank you!

[Degga1313]

Thank you.

That is the best way I have heard it put. My Grandparents did the same thing. And so am I now. This video is a smile that wont fade for a while.

Thank you.

[unmeasuredinstances]

It is so sweet to think this could bring a smile - thank you!

[bethanyann26tg]

hi sarah

you got me so teary sweety, your words were beautiful, moving and powerful at the same time.

it takes a lot to get me to cry and you got me there sweety.

so many view us in the wrong way, trying to feel normal is at the top of the list for any one going through transition.

i could have listened to you all day....

thank you!!

~bethany

[unmeasuredinstances]

Bethany - that is among the sweetest of responses. You are a lovely soul....thank you for being there to listen.

[grishno]

As I sit here listening to you while doing my work I can't help but think that you would be a great radio personality. that is not to say that you have a face for radio, but rather you have a great voice.

[unmeasuredinstances]

While I sit here at work reading your comments I can't help but blush :") Which is not to say I am embarrassed just that your remarks are so sweet. Thanks!

[GenieP]

What you say makes a lot of sense, Sarah. I live in stealth because that was the mindset when I transitioned back in the mid-1970s. The world knows much more about TS now than back then. I am, as you say, a very proud TS woman and I succeeded on my own. I know our tribe is a very strong group of people and we deserve to be proud of our accomplishments.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Hi Gene - The fact that you did it back then, on your own, is testament to an incredible inner strength and will. Few could have done it - and that includes me - though I had opportunity to take those steps as early as '79. Beyond that - I am simply glad to have you as part of the larger family.

[Kinga1Kosinska]

I love what you said.I think a lot lately why the hell i get down so much sometimes.After all this effort.I remember the person i was i dream then about reaching the point where i am now.And now what?I cant ruin all that.We all cannot ruin our lifes.Theres no place for shame!!!Great video:)

[unmeasuredinstances]

Hi Kinga - Thanks for those words. And always keep going - I know in Poland it must be much harder than here, so I admire your strength in the face of that.

[nytransguy]

How true!

Throughout history people have felt pressure to assimilate only to lose their roots and identity.. as trans people we have gone through so much to affirm our identity, why surrender it! But I like the way you say it :)

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thanks so much! Absolutely - never surrender.

[ravelgrane]

very lovely video. very thoughtful and insightful. you are a great speaker and a natural in this medium. I learned a lot about what you are thinking and experiencing. I've always held that gender is very uninteresting compared to personality and creativity, both of which you have plenty. I really hope your dream becomes reality. thanks for a very well articulated video essay!

[unmeasuredinstances]

And what a lovely response - thank you! You're a sweatheart.:")

[nofreechange]

We are the people that are put here to suffer in order to teach others what unconditional love is and what it can do for peace. My name is Liam and I speak Liam-ese and will teach my language to anyone who wishes! PEACE!

[unmeasuredinstances]

Oh, I dearly, dearly hope we are not meant for suffering...but I know you also mean this in the best of ways. Liam, my brother, we are ok...we are truly ok. Thank you always for your support.

[AndrogyneMichinaga]

I'm touched, and your thoughts on the subject ring true. You're rather serene, and like the song says "I've never been there but the brochure look nice." I do hope to get there someday.

[unmeasuredinstances]

Thank you....I wish you both sweetness and strength along your journey. Our wonderment is also our wanderings.

And about the brochure, I would recommend an ocean view and the deluxe suite : )