After initializing and parameterizing hundreds of unknown factors, inserting divergent proxy data and ignoring any difficult natural forcing factors, we ran hundreds of simulations until we obtained the results we wanted–an ensemble of meaningless projected results, which we then averaged. We homogenized,sensitized and utilized the liberally unprincipled component method, to produce a new hockey stick, which gave a very robust prediction (90% probability) that we are all being totally screwed