Added: 1 year ago
From: QweeDam
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  • i think 'seatbelts. high tech shit.' might be my favourite delivery of carlin's

  • I love Carlins work but I had to disagree on his point about Jap Americans being detained during WW2. It was an unfortunate necessity. The chance of them being infiltrated by Jap intelligence may of been small but there was a still that chance and the nation was at total war. It's unfair to judge a situation like that in exceptional circumstances such as world war.

  • @clutchSlipper

    Did they do the same with German Americans? Why not?

  • @jaquthehealer M8, there was like 200 + German Americans & they were like 5th generation lol. Also, Japan was seen as a more direct threat to the US. The UK did a similar thing to the neo anarchists here. We locked up any potential troublemakers.

    Now lets look at what the Japs did shall we?

    When the Japs invaded Singapore and the other islands, they shipped off all the Western tourists to POW camps where they were treated terribly. Feel free to ask me to ellaborate more on this.

  • 200 + million ofc

  • @clutchSlipper

    potential troublemakers - arent you afraid someone someday will target you as potential troublemaker and lock you up, with no rights to defend?

    Japs got what they deserve, maybe you slap them even too much :-)

  • @jaquthehealer Yeah it's a long series. Basicaly, it's about the Westren POW's in the Jap amps. You had both sides. The women and the men. They were tortured and all sorts.

    "arent you afraid someone someday will target you as potential troublemaker and lock you up,"

    This could happen to me at any time mate. None of us have any reay binding rights as Carlin sais (and you already know) which is why I tend to be big on my dog, computers and sports bike thus try not to worry

  • @jaquthehealer So really, anything can happen and especially in times of war. We (Westerners) tend to have a false sense of security which comes from our lifestyles. You are quite right in what you say but if I was to worry about this I'd be worrying all of the time. As with Carlin, I've given up hope and so I just get as much fun out of life as possible.

  • @jaquthehealer I think you need to watch a series called Tenko my friend:

    watch?v=DeOBk03d6xY

    Watch this and then come back and try to criticize the USA

  • @clutchSlipper

    i dont have time to watch this boring series, maybe you can give me a short brief?

    On the other hand i think i everyone can criticize what one want

  • @clutchSlipper so by that theory all muslim should be detained until the war on terror is over! i`ll call bullshit alert right here ppl

  • @deathwatch1980 Eh? The Muslims (this so called terrorist threat) cannot be compared to a Total World war where nations are quite literally fighting to conquer. Only an idiot would compare WW2 to todays situation mate

  • @clutchSlipper oh fine then why didn`t the usa lock up all the ppl with german parents in the us at the time? explain that one too me then

  • @deathwatch1980 I was already asked this and my reply is below mate. First of all, Germanic Americans (who make up the bulk of the US population) are like 5th/6th generation. Most of those Japs were second. Secondly, you can't lock up 200 million people lol. Thirdly, Japan was seen as the bigger threat to the US. It wasn't as if Germany, with a tiny Navy that was getting battered by the Royal Navy was capable of an invasion on US soil

  • @clutchSlipper an "unfortunate necessity?" really?

  • @sativaplath You do understand the world was at war? Nothing like these silly wars of today. The Japs were far worse. They detained foreign tourists and put 1000's of them in POW camps where they were tortured. Look up a series called 'Renko' on YT. The Japs murdered some 20 million people from 1920-1945

    I guess it's ok tho because it wasn't America doing it lol

  • @sativaplath People really need to look up all of what happened during WW2 before bashing the US for detaining Jap Americans in luxury apartments lol. America were siants compared to what the Japs and others did. That's why no pitty was shown on Hiroshima & Negasaki my friend.

  • @clutchSlipper Difference is, the Japanese never held themselves out to be saints, they did what they did and we view it as terrible but at no point did they ever claim to be above everyone else. The Americans (and most of the western world, we were all guilty of some shit like this at some point) are the ones who pretended to be decent when in reality they were scared and isolationist and near as makes no difference just as bad, just they kept it secret because they won.

  • Comment removed

  • @clutchSlipper okay, whatever. I disagree and have done my research (I've done multiple papers on WWII and pretty extensive research), but I hate internet flame wars so let's just agree to disagree.

  • @sativaplath It wasn't supposed to be a flame war. I too have studied WW2 (I had no choice because it was a passion of my grandfather and father). I didn't say that what the US did to the jap Americans was a good or bad thing. That's an opinion. What I was trying to explain to you is that the Japs were far worse. If your curriculum is honest it would of covered what the Japs did. The Chinese have not fotgotten my friend...

  • I don't have an issue with criticizing America's actions/inactions during the war. What I have an issue with is people not being fair about that criticism & over looking what the Japs got up to. Any education u think you have recieved will be limited. Carlin knew it and went on about it all the time.You are taught what the establisment wants to teach you. Just Google 'Japanese war crimes'. They don't teach you this in school due to the tension that still exists between Japan & China

  • @clutchSlipper I know about Japanese war crimes. I did my own research and I know what they did to the Chinese and Koreans was horrific. I still don't think it's justifiable. and that's my opinion like you have yours.

  • "Sometimes there's a really big, fat-fuck in your way." Every flight I've ever taken.

  • Brilliant compilation of King George's rants. Thank you for your solid effort, QweeDam!

  • QueenDam, you are the man for compiling these words of wisdom from Carlin so beautifully. Thank you so much..you made my day!

  • George Carlin is GOD :D

  • 6 people are deaf and blind.

  • "Seat belts, high tech shit."

    That needs to be a meme.

  • Yeah. rights are idea not something God given. They basically come from the state, which tends not to respect them anyway. The part about religion is legendary.

  • "seat belts... high tech shit"

  • Carlin hands down the best comedian of all time

  • man, he talks about dildos alot

  • he's funny all over, only if he left religion in peace and talked about funnier stuff

  • What Michael Jordon was to basketball, George Carlin is to talking.

  • "in the event of a change it cabin pressure....ROOF FLIES OFF!" lol fuckin awesome.

  • I wish I could say that I had one college professor as profound as this man.I blame myself. I chose to go to an expensive religious university rather than a public rational university. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking

  • let god have his soul.

  • As old as he is here. He's still quicker than a machine gun. George you are immortal.

  • So God Forgot About Slavery, Just Fuckin' Slipped His Mind Right? HAHAH

  • 5 people still couldn't figure out how to use a seat belt.

  • the coolest old fart ever.

  • @Slash417 he prefers "old fuck"

  • yeah i left a comment about it on his facebook page!

  • "Roof flies off!" LMAO

  • is he still alive?

    

  • @raytronic16 no, 

  • @raytronic16 sadly no

  • @raytronic16 sadly not he died in 2008

  • 9:31 That's what I call a goddamn laugh! I just wished there were still comedians around who can make people laugh like that.

    Great Top 20 so far, although I'd say that every George Carlin Moment was a great moment anyway.

  • @GreyLabyrinthine Laughing and gaining a conscience at the same time.. It's a win-win!

  • @GreyLabyrinthine i know that was an epic laugh.

  • George Carlin should have been president of the World.

  • I actually did search "Japanese Americans 1942" on Wikipedia... they don't teach us about that in American schools. I'm a senior at an accredited university here, and I've never heard of it. I'm adding this to the massive list of reasons why I don't believe in god.

  • @eroshiyda I am very sad to hear that you go to an accredited university and was never taught about the Japenese internment camps during WWII. Though I find this fact makes more sense regarding the imaginary concept of "justice", "rights", "representation in government", and "democracy" than it has to do with any spiritual or supernatural concept. George is saying that those rights Americans hold so dear can be taken away with the scrawl of a signature. And I am agnostic moving to atheist.

  • he was a genius.

    im from germany and watched every vid of him on YT

  • HE's A FUCKING GENIUS!

  • only discovered this man last week...fantastic...i havent heard stuff like this since bill hicks

    

  • @brewt1mer

    George had been doing comedy for over 50 years by the time he died. How had you not heard of him? Lol.

  • @sccitylhh ive no idea...

  • @brewt1mer

    Glad you found him. George wasn't a comedian, he was a prophet, who happened to be very funny.

  • @brewt1mer I strongly recommend Doug Stanhope... He's from the Carlin/Hicks 'school' of comedy but don't tell him I said Hicks.He threatened to anally rape me for walking into one of his gigs once on crutches :)

    Carlin is the master of stand-up philosophy imho. Hicks and Stanhope (a libertarian's last hope) are close but for sheer skill, sharpness and poetry, Carlin can't be bettered for me.His work doesn't age at all...

  • @PoniesThatBite agreed. Stanhope is great..nothing new but he does it oh so well

  • @Therealnoel Doug Stanhope had his mother's ashes on ebay yesterday to raise money for The Humane Society.See his facebook page for shennanigans :)

  • @QweenDam

    wow thanks for bothering to upload theese videos, and keeping me entertained for an hour, appreciated :-)

  • Does anyone else think that as George got older, specifically in his last special, that his resemblance to Carl Reiner was absolutely uncanny?

  • @CrackerLance i don't know, but from the looks of your comments, your resemblance to a fucktard is unequaled.

  • @richie8811 Richie you always make me laugh, cunt.

  • 3 dislikes? Shame on you's

  • BRILLIANT have not laughed so hard in a long time!!! Thank you

  • ROOF FLIES OFF!!!!!

  • the whole no mobile phones during a flight thing is funny, cause if phones could cause a plane to crash why the fuck dont terrorists board a flight with their pockets full of them ??

  • @QweeDam Do you know why these aren't the original recordings? Thanks.

  • #13 should've been #1! great compilation!

  • at the clueless idiot at 4:57 that's not applauding.. sad. just sad

  • Even through I saw all his videos before, I still after watching this had my throat hurt from laughing so hard.

  • of course the government cant think for its own its not one person trying to hurt us its several tryin to help us (badly) while the several (several several) people try and over themselves

  • i know he was alot of points and is smart but i feel like the people who cheer arnt like they say thats a good point but dont think about it

  • The Safety Lecture routine is still my favorite Carlin routine of all time. I make it a habit to listen to it at least once every single time I fly on an airplane.

  • I consider myself to be a Carlinist. I worship the sun, follow the three commandments (as well as I can) and consider George to be my prophet :)~

  • @ImprovGoose do you pray to joe pesci?

  • @JMaSsA11 naaww mann optional :)

  • @ImprovGoose And Pray to Joe Pesci =D

  • @ImprovGoose ..well said..lol

  • @ImprovGoose Actually you'll find that Carlin himself is a Joe Pesci-ist and regularly prayed to Joe Pesci. So I propose a new religion called Joe Carlinism and we can dance around a TV broadcasting Fox news during elections while repeatedly licking 9volt batteries and punching ourselves in the balls. If you happen to not have balls , pick whatever appropriate painful area you'd like to repeatedly punch yourself in.

  • @ImprovGoose it's two!

  • @ImprovGoose idiot, the last thing we want is a new religion.

    You're like one of those fucktards trying to turn atheism into a religion.

  • @pankakesforlife and you turn a joke into an argument... hmmm who is the tard?

  • @ImprovGoose you 

  • @ImprovGoose u forgot to pray to joe peshie..

  • @ImprovGoose ave brother

  • @ImprovGoose why do you have the ~ after the :)?

  • 8:08 through 8:37 had me almost choking with laughter!! This was one of the greatest people to have ever lived. RIP George Carlin, our bodies miss the fits of laughter you once gave us.

  • please let the tea party watch Carlin that would piss them off :D

  • Or perhaps George Carlin was God in human form and tossing everything out to open your eyes in a way of to think for yourself and question everything. :D

  • did this guy do the voice for a bad guy on teenage mutant ninja turtles?

  • @truelad1000 no

    but he was the narrator of thomas the tank engine, which is weird

  • @TheAkatsuki357 ta.

    just some times he sounds like shredder i think

  • @truelad1000 i can hear the resemblance

  • @truelad1000 he would've been great on tom and jerry. watch the loosing things video and you will understand.

  • @truelad1000 Shredder? No mate, that was Uncle Phil from the Fresh Prince. No Joke.

  • @Erkal2006 yea i can tell your right.will smith is a wicked actor.never would have put two n two together though.thank you for this wicked piece of pub quiz trivia.its really wierd.i was watchin george carlin and old will smith songs when i was baked the other day.how ever many days later n i reckon i8m gonna do it again

  • This motherfucker had a few screws loose, but her drops some serious knowledge... Instead of letting yer kids rot in front of that shiny X-box let 'em watch good ol' uncle George.

  • i must get out of the plane go to a nearby farmhouse, have a dr pepper then call the police

  • when he starts talking about how rights are ideas that don't exist that have been planted in our heads I think only one thing. Inception is real! oh shit.

  • WINNING!!

  • "It came from God. Aw fuck, here we go again."

  • he shouldve ran for president

  • Our founding fathers, a group of slave owners that told us all man are created equal

  • This man has finally opened my eyes. R.i.p. George Carlin, I hope to be just as cool and wise as you 

  • one thing I think Carlin would not find surprising: According to the FAA, the final words heard on 80% of cockpit voice recorders before a lethal crash? "Oh, shit"

  • Larger than a fist and less loving than a dildo!!!!! hahahahahahahaha

  • but he loves you....

  • @francss12 And he NEEDS MONEY!

  • 8:31

    if you don't laugh, don't worry. you're already dead.

  • the only rights they had: right this way into the internment camp

  • SLAVERY! just fucken slipped his mind :) that was my favourite line hah

  • Jamming big objects up other people's ass is not okay... Jamming big objects up other people's ass is not okay... Jamming big objects up other people's ass is not okay... Jamming big objects up other people's ass is not okay... Jamming big objects up other people's ass is not okay... Jamming big objects up other people's ass is not okay...

  • i wana hear his mottto!!!!!

  • 13:05 Im not sure but is he wearing prada sneakers?

  • "in the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabbin pressure, ROOF FLIES OFF !!!"

  • SSSSLAVERY!! ....fuckin' slipped his mind.

  • ABSOLUTE GENIUS. i miss him so much.

  • ..........BUT HE LOVES YOU ! xD

  • I hope he got the opportunity to shit in his pants before he died.

  • @waterwind2266 I think everyone has crapped their pants before they had died. Just think of when you were little. I think you crap your pants WHEN you die.

  • My favourite 'social commentator' and a class act !!

  • George, no matter where you are, I know you playing to a packed house and every one is laughing their asses off...

  • if thare was a god i what probly george carlin

  • @A17shawn What?

  • he is telling us what is going on.thk u

  • for the Airplane Safety bit, this seems to be a less animated version that he did. i prefer the other one. his inflections are better in that one, as well.

  • ''Rights are not rights if their government can take em away. ''

    Probably the most accurate short description of this embarassing hypocrisy people call the democracy. ( which in the USA and, lots of other places, is actually an oligarchic plutocratic society hidden under the fake, temporary, '' freedom '' they claim to defend.

  • does anyone else think that every once in a while he seems like a slomo version of robin williams?

  • too bad the man is dead, he was awesome...

  • i love george. miss ya man.

  • We were at war with Germany and Italy also. Why weren't 2nd generation German and Italian citizens put in internment camps? Of course this question is rhetorical. We all know the answer.

  • @dovespin1 racism? :D

  • @UberTankred Thank You!

  • Who are you people and where is my horse?! Priceless.

  • Professor Carlin, he was the best teacher I ever had.

  • @Goth3m3 Are you serious? Where did he teach you?

  • @kozasonia

    Are you really that dense?

  • @firefox71 ^^ I was naive

  • @Goth3m3 He is easily one of the greatest men who ever lived. Carlin was a genius.

  • omfg there are no tyrants speaking against our lord and savior Carlin? XD its fuckin amazing

  • 0 people have t- oh wait...

  • i like his face at 12 :19

  • Nice work. A great mix of George Carlin at his best.

  • I bet that now that he's dead...He isnt smiling down on us...^^

  • @syRiaLupso he is smiling up at us :p

  • @LpJunior537 He's screaming up at us

  • So funny RIP

  • This man is the chomsky of comedy!

  • I really respect and admire George Carlin I really do, but why, oh WHY is a man of his stature wearing sneakers ...

  • @Lithranain because he doesn't care about stupid bullshit like that.

  • @RhiehnD I would think that a man so anti-establishment, would not wear thé number one symbol of american consumer mentality, sry for my poor english 

  • @Lithranain

    Because they're comfortable.

    I'm pretty sure George Carlin didn't have much of an interest in popular fashion, especially as he got older. ;)

  • @Lithranain Because sneakers are larger than a fist and would be less loving than a dildo if he shove them up his ass :)

  • What can you say about George that hasn't already been argued before the Supreme Court? !

  • Seatbelts: High. Tech. Shit.

  • @rylestknuckles Yeah! Tell that to Otis Redding.

  • The shape of George's head is beautiful. Magnificent cranium.