Added: 3 months ago
From: tyrannosauruslexxx
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  • kicking girls in the head doesn't make them attracted to you?!? oh geez, I've been going about this all wrong!

  • I think I need to join your operation. Especially since my school has a gym and we're allowed to get into one pool for free if we show our student ID.

  • Yeah.. umm.. sorry about all that kicking and winking. I had some er.. water in my eye.

  • I.....You.....But......

    Well it would seem you addressed all my questions.

  • I would like to take the don not flirt tip to the next level and just say DO NOT have sexual interaction of any sort in the pool. I am a lifeguard and yes I have had to deal with such things...

  • I feel like i just been told off and i dont go swimming o.O. And yet i found it funny and amusing. Think i know why my perants had a hard time with me now

  • Hilarious. Kicking girls in the head :')

  • Thumbs Up if you thought your headphones were broken!

  • I HAVE A BIG FOREHEAD :D also I was confused about my headphones..

  • You do not have big forehead where has that nonsense come from

  • This is quite honestly the first time I learned that there are people who actually use lanes in public pools. I used to take swimming lessons as a child and whenever there are a lot of other people in the pool, our instructor just tells us to swim around them because, as he says, "It's a public pool, they paid for access to it so they can do whatever they want". And, well, I do enjoy a good mindless splash around the pool myself. Pools around here don't have a separate area for that so..

  • i swim on my school's highschool team but we don't have an indoor pool at our school, so we have to do individual practices at the YMC at least 3 times a week. I hate being there alone at like 6 PM when all the hairy old men come... I also hate going on saturdays when all the little kids take over everything. good to know someone shares my pain ^^

  • I swam nationally for England in October and some people in the heats could not swim, so it just goes to prove people are idiots. Or some shit.

    I also have a big forehead! :D not alone

  • I go swimming a lot and I can honestly tell you that these things don't get any better or any more tolerable. Some people just don't seem to understand how to swim...in a public pool...with OTHER PEOPLE! Seriously, I feel your pain, I really do. Lol!

  • @BrilsTheFinestCheese well how else do you pronounce length? i was genuinely under the impression that everyone pronounced it that way

  • @Ca11meron well I'm from California and we pronounce it layngth. there's almost a "k" sound in there too with the "ng" so it's like lay-ng-k-th. I love learning how other people pronounce things! it's so interesting how we start with the same spelling and end up with completely different pronunciations :)

  • In my pool, there are no lanes what so ever meaning that people close in on you. I tried moving closer to the wall but that didn't help because it meant you scraped your body against the wall. And, who in there right mind thinks it's a good idea to swim breadth ways when everyone else is swimming length ways!!!!!

    GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

  • this so can be applied to walking out in public streets

  • "Kicking women in the head does not make them attracted to you." Life quotes by Lex.

  • A little swimming tip: learn to swim Butterfly, an excellent stroke designed not only as a punishment but also as a highly effective way of clearing idiots from lanes

  • I can't do operation don't be a lazy fucker because point number one is already too taxing. In my room I can count 54 empty beer bottles, one full one, 6 mugs (one broken), 9 glasses and 14 empty beer cans. Sigh counting those was a depressing activity.

  • Try being a lifeguard and trying to explain this to people politely everyday :(

  • damn she is so sexy when she is mad

  • Where I go swimming, there are two lanes for racers and one wider area for all the others. I'm a fast breastswimmer, so I have to go around the old ladies (that's ok), those sitting there and talking and those swimming side by side (THREE of them), talking. Really? I think I have to learn to swim really fast to be able to swim in the lanes ...

  • i only just realised that the sound was only coming out from one speaker because she mentioned it. i wouldn't have noticed otherwise:)x

  • i completely agree!! i used to swim about 4 times a week and got se fed up i dont even bother going once now

  • I hate it when people are like "you have a large forhead". I think large forheads are beautiful, just saying.

  • Hahahaha, damn, you are pissed off. Try this way: swim up to the cunts and ask them nicely to move to the general splashing about area, bearing in mind they are not too bright& social. Hide flickers in your eyes that reveal the horrors you wish on them. The winking kicking guy is a different story altogether, wait for him in the shallow end, make sure the people learning to flail are still there, when he's underwater, hit him on the head as hard as you can, gracefully glide away. Repeat.

  • I go swimming once a week and holy hell do I agree with everything you've just said!

    Apart from maybe the being kicked in the head... Seems like a turn on, what can I say?

    xxx

  • you go girl

    get dem feelings out

    ps i have a big forehead too, you arent alone

  • lol "I'm still slow and they're still racist"

  • as a swimmer, i know EXACTLY what you are saying.

    #story of my life

  • Are you on your period?

  • I love the video though I never even make it into a lane, but love the wet look

  • haha u are brilliant :')

  • are you real?

    

  • "I'm still slow, and they're still racist"

    Ah Lex you amazing person

  • This is exactly how I feel at the gym. I barely swim in the pool anymore because everyone else ruins it!

  • Kicking girls' heads not working? Damn, I wasted half of my life!

  • lennth. O__o

  • I bet she was a yank.

    I ABSOLUTELY BET.

  • Love how you answered all my questions I was going to ask at the end ^_^

  • Watched this video and immediately clicked subscribe.

  • hahaha you're amazing!

  • ahhahaha xD

  • <3 ????

  • "Bye or whatever" brilliant :)

  • haha. I wish people actually swam when they are in a swimmingpool.

  • dry your hair

  • ha either way this was great, i know some idiots in the pool sometimes. (p.s. i know i have a huge forehead too, yay side bangs)

  • ... this probably isnt the best time... but ;)

  • "Bye or whatever."

    Your videos make my day.

  • Thank goodness I live in America, where there are gyms with pools on every other street, and they're all half empty because everyone is at the McDonalds next door.

  • I didn't even notice the speaker thing because my headphones are broken so only the right one works anyway

  • oh lex. i do love you.

  • I love you.

  • lennth? what is a lennth? lol is that how you say length?

  • @BriIsTheFinestCheese yep, it's how most British people pronounce length. so. yep.

  • @tyrannosauruslexxx are they not the same thing? :)

  • @tyrannosauruslexxx

    Say "plinth" please. :)

  • @tyrannosauruslexxx that's so interesting! in California we say "layngth"

  • @BriIsTheFinestCheese what's the difference.......

  • @BriIsTheFinestCheese What the fuck do you think? Stop asking pointless questions.

  • @SuperWho32 whoa calm down. sorry.

  • @BriIsTheFinestCheese Why, how do you say length? :S

  • @MissTwilightHater I'm from California and I say lay-ng-th but there's almost a "k" sound so it's more like "lay-ng-k-th"

  • I worked as an indoor lifeguard for three years during high school. I could go on and on about the idiots who came in regularly.

  • Kicking girls in the head doesn't make them attracted to you...

  • Totally know where you are coming from there. There was these girls at the pool that I went to back in the day and every time they would not only stand in the middle of the lane, but continually cross over in to other lanes and not only annoy me, but annoy other people aswell!

    People these days

  • thank god, i thought my speakers where broken

  • At my local pool (in New Zealand) They shut down the whole pool to the public at certain times and only lane swimmers are allowed in. And i'm usually the only one who turns up at those times so i get the pool all to myself almost every time i go.

  • Dunno if it's the wet hair, the black nails or the lighting (specifically the shadows), but you look very dark witchy today, kinda like Morgana in BBC's Merlin or Bo in Lost Girl, and by that I mean demonically beautiful!!

  • I feel your pain

    

  • u mad bro?

  • Ha I thought i was going crazy!

  • i couldn't tell that the sound was different :L ...

  • oh thank god.....i thought my headphones wern't working.

  • i fucking love you

  • Im a lifeguard, 8 hours a day is spent watching idiotic swimmers and telling them how to swim. Its like looking after primary school children

  • I hate those people who think they can do whatever they want. THey need to get kicked out of the pool.

  • I. Love. This.

    hope you have better luck next time. <3

  • Yeah... See, at our local pool, if you do that, the life guards tell you to get out. I know this because when I was like, 12, and wasn't actually aware that the lanes were for proper swimming, I got asked to leave the lanes and go to the general area - even though there was no one in the lanes at the time. I think, if there WERE people in the lanes, I wouldn't have even gone there in the first place - I like to believe that even then, I was more intelligent than that XD

  • see, yet another reason why I think the culling of dickheads should be permitted :)

  • "Kicking girls in the head doesn't make them attracted to you..."

    Damn it, there go my chat up lines.

  • I love you more each video. :D

  • you should totally make a second channel entitled "lex says don't be a lazy fucker," and just put 100 videos just like this.

  • Aah you look like Juliette Lewis in Gilbert Grape :D

  • I can totally hear you from both sides. You're just really, really quiet in my right ear.

  • I can hear you from both sides, and it sounds like you're behind me :P

  • I was basically going "THIS! I AGREE WITH THIS!" the entire video.

    Another swimming etiquette point: if you're practising your sprints in preparation for your Olympic 50-meter freestyle dash or whatever, what what WHAT are you doing in the medium lane!?

  • I get that in pools too. It's always elderly women sitting at the end gossiping about nothing. And they think by doing this it counts as 'exercise". No. It doesn't.

  • I'm pretty sure the dipshit parade is a yearly event held in Sunderland. Not sure, though.

  • o man you're gorgeous! so did you go over and tell them to move? I totally would coz I don't let idiots ruin things for everybody. Winkers are wankers.. xD

  • Lex you need to upgrade... I think once you get to the point that these things start to bother you, you need to change your lane... even people in on the other side of the world are like that (Canada)!

  • So true. I'm not a good swimmer myself, but I still get pissed off when people do this. Especially standing in the middle! Oh my god. It takes like a minute to find a way to swim around them!

  • I do love you lex

  • "British and polite and reserved..."

  • Hahaha the description is basically you being like "I was kinda brisk at the end woops" hahahah

  • 1.2.3. brilliant.

  • I'm not the only one who is pissed after these kind of evenings. Yay!

  • Operation 'Don't Be A Lazy Fucker' - great name !

  • if you pull your headphone jack halfway out of the hole in the computer it fixes the sound. (someone else told me this haha, but it works)

  • i didn't realise she had a big forehead until she mentioned it....

  • Men statistically (true story) find that a simple gesture of kindness is equivalent to flirtation. For example, "The total will be $20.99. Thank you, have a good day, sir." This seemingly normal response to a monetary transaction leads to this, "Dude, she wants my dick. I know! I KNOW! She was all up and down my body with them eyes. My dick. MY DICK SHE WANTS IT."

    Now that you know, you cannot unsee.

    Seriously, your gonna catch yourself now, or you will witness this.

  • .....................my parents met at the pool, been married 30 years. I think it works when ye do it right :P

  • you're bloody awesome

  • "i'm still slow and they're still racist"

  • LOL vair true

  • Also guys dont put on goggles and go underwater, facing directly towards us, we know what you're doing. If you do this i shall kick you in the head and it wont be because im attracted to you. -.-

  • Your forehead isn't that large, I think you looked gorgeous

  • God finally someone understands i gave up swimming cuz of the boys kicking me came home bruised god curse them

  • "i'm still slow and they're still racist" i spat my drink all over my maths homework.thank you ! :'D

  • Yes yes and yes. I dont think iv ever totaly agreed with a post before but tust for the sitting about in a lane like a twonk part.... fantastic

  • omg, you're hilarious :'))))

  • yeah, i know what you mean..

  • "kicking girls in the head doesn't make them attracted to you"

    ...

    ...It was only at this point i noticed the two top comments.....

    ...thank god i... go for the breasts.... then...?

  • I love the cynicism here. I needed that. Thank you.

  • Throughout the whole video I'm there fucking about with my speakers...

  • "I'm still slow and they're still racist" why am I laughing so hard? :')

  • @ILoveMuseAMJF i dont know... considering the BNP aren't actually racist... i did like the joke though :)

  • ahahaha :P

  • loving life!

  • "Kicking girls in the head does not make them attracted to you." True.

    It can however, make them dizzy, impair their judgment, and make it hard for them to see properly.

  • I feel your pain, just curiosity, looks like you just got out of the pool , please tell me that you did not wear that bra with that swimsuit in the pool???

  • People call me fodzilla.. I feel your pain. XD

  • There are lanes based on speed? What? In mine if you want to swim in lanes you just get in one. That no one else is in. And it's fine. ??

  • i hate it when the people get into the pool and get on the side on the pool so you cant even get out of the pool and if you try to swim you need like 10 minutes to get out of the pool

  • You don't have a big forhead at all. Also, not trying to be a kiss-ass tool, but have you lost weight?

  • keep it up!! staying motivated is difficult but worth it! :)

  • psh, you kidding? i get turned on when I'M kicked in the head ;) love at first kick <3

  • I also hate when the two top comments are disgustingly similar. :'( Massive tears dribbling up my forehead. ...... yes, i YuTbe upside down.

  • I have a big forehead. We should do synchronised swimming. Team forehead. All the foreheads of the planet.... unite.

  • Lane, became a very very funny word after the sixth time...

    I admire your 'don't be a lazy fucker'-attitude, but maybe you shouldn't do it in public places. You know, like running in a park at three in the morning, no people, no problem!

    From an expert and amazingly lazy fucker! :)

  • Bullet points I need to follow:

    do all washing up right after the motherfucking meal

    don’t leave uni work until the last motherfucking minute

    get a better motherfucking sleep pattern

    Procrastination of dishes has left me eating with disposable spoons and bowls.

    It is now 2:42AM and I just finished an assignment due first thing in the morning. Probably the reason my sleep patterns are so horrible.

  • haha, thanx for clearing that up! I've been twisting and

    turning my laptop, trying to figure out whether one of my speakers just died. :D haha, great video!

  • Aaannd that is why I am not joining my swimming club this year. Twice a week after school all summer? I don't think so. I plan on going in on the weekends and swimming my self with no whiteboard to tell me what to do and I can tell people to get out of the way as much as I like without a coach telling me off. :)

  • This is almost word for word what I was saying after swimming on friday. Except for me it was just some randomer giving her friend lessons. It was actual instructors who decided not to use the lane that was closed off for lessons and to have their small fat children swimming across the middle of the lanes. it was not fun

  • Maybe the aim was that if he kicked you in the head enough times he could lower your IQ from intelligent and funny to a girl who'll swoon at a wink.

    Even then, there must be a more subtle ways to attempt to cause brain damage.

  • There's a way to fix the audio problem, but I'll assume that if you cared enough, you'd figured that out by yourself.

  • comment or whaeva.

  • most beautiful people have big foreheads

  • At my local swimming pool we have a "walking lane" for people who wish to walk up and down the swimming pool. That's all good and everything but I was trying to swim in the medium lane and some lady was just walking up and down the centre of the lane repeatedly. Every time I passed her she would mutter about "today's youth".

  • Oh Lex. I find your large head cute.

  • Haha I've been playing water polo/swimming for 10 years now. people are indeed fucking retarded in public pools. it's a hard life. lol just tell people off, maybe try to be nice about it while also being intimidating and assertive too. haha I'm also a lifeguard, so I guess I've had some practice... Hope the rest of your swimming experiences are more enjoyable that this one. :P

  • And this is why I'm a hermit, people annoy me everytime I go out with the aim of doing something.

  • These need to be made into a set of rules on a poster and posted at swimming pools because I run into this crap all the time.

    The worst is when you take a friend to swim with as motivation and they end up stopping and trying to talk to you. THAT IS NOT WHY I BROUGHT YOU.

  • funny how i enjoyed listening to someone rant and rave :) haha

  • It's even worse when you have little kids running round. My friends and I were in the pool, and these boys about 10 years old came and started splashing us and they wouldn't go away until the lifeguard actually came up and told them to stop, and even then they still didn't leave us alone.

  • I think he was trying to destroy your brain cells so you would dumb down & he would become more attractive.

    I think I'm going to join Operation 'Don't be a lazy fucker'. You Lex, are my inspiration (:

  • Aww there there. Idiots will be idiots.

  • 1) i don't swim but i'm sure all your points are perfectly valid. they certainly sound like common sense. 2) THANKYOU FOR POINTING THAT OUT AT THE END. i genuinely though my headphones were broken.

  • your goodbye sounded like april ludgate.

  • Omfg when i swim i'm always thinking this shit! Also don't wear a designer bikini if you're going to swim laps and try to fill the lanes with the least people. it's common sense!!

  • Did you ever know that you're my hero...

  • bye or whatever :) hahaha Awesome!!!

  • also children do not belong in lanes

  • thank god I waited until the end before I commented on the one speaker thing.. wouldve felt like a jackass. haha

    p.s. I would never EVER wanna be on your bad side

  • This is a hilarious rant because it's so true! Haha, I completely understand. I'm sorry your gym experience sucked today.=( Here's to ***holes not messing up our plans to get in shape! This is why I just ordered 2 exercise DVDs on Amazon.

  • I hate lanes, they're too constrictive, so I never use them, if I really wanted to do the lanes, I would usually just do it in the general area, right beside the lanes. :P

  • 2:21 ... sorry, what's the BMP? I can't find it on google and I've never heard of it, heh...

  • @wiskishnip BNP. British Nationalist Party.

  • Thank God I'm not the only one who gets pissed of about these things! You didn't mention slow people who swim in the fast lane (but if you swim in the slow lane that probably doesn't bother you) or old men who wear flesh coloured baggy speedos (there are a number of them at my local pool). Most bases were covered so well done

  • But but but I actually do swim a fast breaststroke! D:

    Also, your forehead isn't really that large. xD

  • thats gotta suck :(

    hopefully they will have watched your video and realized it was you telling them to swim else where x.x

  • at my local Y, the only youth swimming times, are during school hours.

  • Pretend you didn't see her in front of you, then she'll move :P that sounds a bit stupid no one's being doing that when I'm at the swimming pool.

  • There’s always a bunch of stupid kids that swim into my lane, and then start crying when I accidentally hit them in the face while doing backstroke. I then have to pretend that I care about the bratty little kid and everyone gives me dirty looks. I just want to swim in my lane! Is this so much to ask?!

  • I have swimming for gym class, every. single. day. First hour. It's a little torturous. Especially since, you know, it's supposed to be /actual/ swimming class, and I'm the only one who can swim apparently. It's an all guys class, and something about that much testosterone in a single place makes things like common sense die. So I can completely sympathize with you, and I'm greatly sorry.

    I've always found that drowning them works. Just hide the bodies.

  • I've been swimming for most of my life and I couldn't agree more. I hate it where there are little kids who "race," then just end up almost drowning eachother when they grab on to one another trying to get ahead.

  • I think your forehead is fine! Never have I noticed it, and I've been watching you for a long while.

    Also, my gym predicament, is when people go on my FAVORITE machine, and continuously lift about 10 lbs for thirty minutes, and this is a machine that you should be doing 30-75 lbs, depending on the person! I hate people.....