we are still married (2012) and though out the years of our marriage I caught him once in person and 10 times on line and like 3 V-messages …… and his own cousin told me he’s up to no Good smh I don’t know how to let go….. Because I came from a broken home I don’t know how to let go…… or is it just comma……. Oh what a web I weaved….. Another thing I wonder if my husband is a huge lesson I need to learn from and move on idk
Now that I’m married I defiantly regret all of it this is why. When I was 5 months pregnant in 2008 I caught my husband with our co-worker in my home the music was playing some soft tunes and my bed was messed up…. I walked in the room and looked @ them and said comma is a strong B-Word….. oh and Shanda my baby girl is fine and healthy .. thank God……
Hey Shanda I myself was in a relationship with a married man for 3 yrs like in 04-06 and I feel so bad. I mean I will stay quit while his wife would be on the phone and everything smh I was so messy with it.
i have been there too. probably more than i actually knew about. but the man at them time told me he was separated. i don't know if it were true or not, but i just didn't care at the time. and i did it for some of the same reasons you did...it happens.
somehow i still can find myself having respect for you and understanding why you did it, not condoning or agreeing with the actions. but at least you learned and were honest and shared! btw where did you get your earrings and ring from? LOVE IT! must have lol
I made that mistake and I don't think everyone can control who they fall in love with. Some people are better at it than others. I did know and he told me he was leaving her and all the usual nonsense and I believed it. I think at the time I was lonely, but I also had low self-esteem and was accepting less than I deserved. The part that was more confusing for me was that our relationship wasn't so sexual as it was friendship. I think that was what was missing in his relationship.
@ShandaSays I love you for this. I was having a fun and just fooling around with a man who did not tell me he was married. I ended up pregnant by him and kept my baby. While I was four months pregnant, I found out but not by him. His friend told me & a girlfriend of mine finally decided to tell me after I was pregnant. She know his wife and her family personally and is my co worker. When I asked her why didn't she tell me before I conceived her response was it wasn't her place He still denies it
i love how open you were about this. I have had this experience. i was in a relationship with a man who has a child. he cheated on me with his baby mama. i moved away (back to my home state) and he moved in with her. even though i knew he was in a relationship with her i continued to be his mistress for over a year..through prayer i was finally able to cut all ties a couple months ago..love is tricky sometimes..nice topic
I didn't read thru all comments below so my apologies if someone already made this point. You didn't know he was married and fell in love. Someone women KNOW and still fall in love. Big difference. Thanks for sharing
I believe in the bible and I know I cant lust after you since you are married...but man its hard not to. Im a have to stop watching your vids for a while :)
I honestly Have dealt with a married man and im not Proud of it either.iwas Young and dumb..But i dont feel like Im a Horrible person.But In my opioion Alot of women who sleep with men who are taken and know it Dont know there worth and Value..When I did it I honestly didnt know what morals were I didnt Understand the Importance of marriage and the fact that Its sacred and favored by god..I think Adultery is one of the WORST sins. I promised myself I wouldnt do it again cause U reap what u sow.
Shanda, I don't care what anybody says on here. I haven't read all the comments, but I'm sure some women already threw negative energy your way. I know I don't know you, but I love you! LOL!.. I've never been in a situation like this, but I love that you were honest and open about your past (not to dwell or anything, but to help other women).. I appreciate that so much! I love your realness and I hope I can meet you one day :D
l0ve the look i think everyone at one point in time will experience this because some MEN will not reveil that they are MARRIED until its to late... ur just been real and we all like been with a man so some are in deniel. thanks, me too have been here to lady i got ur BACK...
The excitement of sneaking around is what usually gets a lot of people. I've thought about being a....not sure what the term is but let's say I snuck around with a married woman. It felt good at the time but looking back it's not something I'm proud of. Thanks for sharing that Shanda and I feel like it's one of those things where it seems like a good idea at first but you realize it wasn't such a good idea. I actually respect more now that you revealed that.
Shanda is there any way you can talk about couples who break up and is there a chance of them getting back together? There are couples who are off and on and others break up and one of the people in the couple is still in love.
you got cought up in the moment i understand what u mean and his Family was to you just a story they weren't Real for u i know u knew but they were names and faces that u never seen before i understand that and no this doesnt make u a bad person i understand that kind of a mistress
but the true horriable kind of mistress is the one who knew the wife and was a so called friend to her that kind of mistress has no excuses couse how could u fall in love with a man when you alrdy love his wife ?!
I don't understand the contempt here. You didn't sugarcoat it, glaze it, or wrap it in a pretty bow. You told the cold hard truth and admitted it wasn't the right thing to do. I applaud your honesty and appreciate your candidness.
it takes confidence and maturity to talk about things that arent so comfortable to talk about, im glad you moved beyond this, i agree you should not be ashamed or have any regrets, in life you never know what your gonna get none of us have crossed every t and dotted every i, its easy for ppl to say the should of would of could of until they are in the situation their self, i applaud you God bless
Among the best things about growing older is that you loose the childisih, judgemental, condemning ways. I actually stopped talking to a dear friend because she was seeing a married man. In hindsight I realize she was at a very vulnerable point in her life and she was one of two victims in that triangle. I truly respect your honesty.
I was seeing a guy who was cheating on his woman. I knew something was up with him just by the way he talked to me and the way he acted and responded to my words and actions. I eventually got the proof and broke it off but inside I wanted to stay with him, but I knew it would be wrong so I made the right decision by leaving him.
You haven't lost me as a viewer. It's a brave thing to share details of your life such as this. I've been the other women before, although he wasn't married. You're right that it's a position of powerlessness. I'm not proud of what I did either but I wouldn't take it back because I learned a lot.
I appreciate you for sharing this...and learning from the life lesson - hopefully others will see beyond the excitement of the "sneak" and understand the true loneliness that comes from being with a man who is not committed to her wholeheartedly
I think you are awesome. I am married and don't feel any funny way about you. Everyone in life makes mistakes and not may learn from them so for that I applaud you.
Yes, you can control who you fall in love with. I will not fall in love with a married man, a man with a bunch kids, ect.... you can control it. Initially you didn't know, but once you found out and CONTINUED...that's when you were to blame....and that's why you're not proud of it.
@j81jevon You are entitled to your opinion which is why I love what I do. Not everyone may agree with how we live our lives, but we learn from our pasts to direct our futures. I didn't expect everyone to understand but what I will say is I'm NEVER ashamed of my past. It's why I am the woman I am today!! Life is filled with lessons,choices and opportunities. I have had the blessing of learning from all 3!!! I move forward as a proud,esteemed and accomplished woman!!!
We all make mistakes, and being married woman this topic makes me cringe but I respect a woman (those who didn't know orginally the man was married) who can admit her wrong and fight her feelings and leave the man alone. How long after his admittance did it take for you to leave him?
Married men are like rental cars. Its new and exciting, gets you to where you need to go (basically you enjoy it while it last) then you give it back. If it breaks down or has problems, its the owners/wife responsibility to fix it. I canjust find another rental car. The only issue is stability (it ain't nothing like having your own) but some women just don't want to put in the effort of maintaining the ownership of a car and dealing with maintenance SO WE RENT!
Men are like used cars, someone has owned it before and ain't no telling what damage they did to it.Now you have this car , your paying to own,and its new to you. In the beginning your excited about it, its new, you love it. Then you get use to it, it slowly starts to have problems, new oil change, new a/c or heater (without good maintenance it breaks down).
i think life in itself is not straight. i totally believe you and i respect your opinion and i think the best thing however is to move on which you have done. kudos to you. Men hide things and he hid it from you hoping you will fall for this and get his way. I think you were played into it and that clouded your judgement. keep up the good work and keep on keeping it real
@deeplynluv This happened over 12 years ago. I definitely paid in ways that I know that I had to. But in sharing my life,even the negative, I hope for people to learn from it and consider making better choices in their own lives.
@ShandaSays Well thank you for sharing. We have all done things in life we are not proud of. It takes a good person to own up to those mistakes and try to use them as a tool for others to avoid those blunders.
i know this feeling i been the other woman , and i did fall in love with him and h was in love with me . Its hurt that you can talk to him or even share his life , but that was years ago i feel so bad that i did that to him i could have said no but i did not so i am stuck in my life know i broke his marriage up and so this is my cross i have to hold .
As I look back, a part of me wishes I never went through those experiences (one was dating a married man, one was getting, AND staying in an abusive relationship), I HAVE to believe that it was not in vain. i believe they were to humble me and make me look at things from a different perspective. they taught me to hear people out, even if their opinions/experiences were unpopular according to my personal beliefs. DO YOU GIRL!!! KEEP IT REAL. I fuggggssss with you! :-)
AWESOME POST!!! Don't get caught up in the negative responses, Shanda. This is a very emotional subject, especially for any woman who's been cheated on, but I was in your predicament too, a predicament i swore up and down i WOULD NEVER be in. We establish boundaries for ourselves as young women and emphatically state that we "would never" this or that....THEN life happens, and those VERY situations we SWORE up and down we'd never be in, we find ourselves there.
But my thought is this: tTHE ONLY PERSON THAT OWES U SOMETHING IS UR HUSBAND. SO DON'T CALL ME LIKE I HAV TO LISTEN, HE SAID 'I DO' HE IS URS... Plus I don't want him... I've already been there
I hav been there, my HS bf got married when he was still calling trying to be w/ me. I actually talked to him the same day. When I found out I sent a pissed off email. His wife found it 1st & pissed. She claims she had no Clue who I was. If she never heard of me she really doesn't kno him. Now they r hav problem & if she would hav got to kno me 1st, we could hav been friends I would tell her, he is a runner. I love him but lov them together More. Crazy thing is I liv 5hrs away
It is a difficult position to be in, I bet. As a married women, I understand why women become mistress'. I have improved/enriched by husband so he epitomizes the best qualities women seek in men. if he had a mistress..she is getting the improved package. I don't judge people on their actions that is for God. For all the current mistress, I wish they could spend 2 weeks in the wife shoe, I bet they would respect the union and leave the man to his family..
if you lose viewers over this it's the most shallow thing i've ever witnessed. Ppl write in to you for advice and so they should be able to accept what comes with it. Everyone has things in their lives that they aren't proud of but the main this is that you had the courage to speak out and admit that you were wrong. If ppl don't like your honesty they can kick rocks!
Some men will create a believable story so that he can make that woman comfortable to have sex with outside his relationship. I really dont think you had a choice in the matter because you were deceived. Men know that when a woman loves a man she is not so ready to let him go. (using our loyalty against us) . Oh BTW speaking of loyalty I am a viewer for LIFe I aint leaving you girl!!! you can do know wrong in my Eyes ! thanks for sharing yourself on youtube. you inspire me.
i think anyless of you. i havent done it myself, but its ok, youre human. and making mistakes is part of that. goodness knows ive made enough myself. jsut different ones. i have been cheated on though, and the other woman knew of me, and that i was pregnant, and they still did what they did. so i do have less than flattering thoughts of her as a person, but that is what it is. mostly i feel sorry for her, because if he cheated on me, i think he could do the same to her.
I get so excited when I see your videos on my list. You always keep it interesting and you always look like a million! Your makeup is always flawless! Love It!!
I've never been with a married man, but yes I have been an interloper in a relationship. We had feelings for each other and I confess that I loves him. At the end I was heartbroken though but by the grace of God, I am better.
At that time I didn't love myself. That is why I stay away from other's relationships for now on.
Thank you for your honesty, but the excitement and sneaking and crazy sex with a married other are all tricks of the devil, and people dont want to hear that, and at the end of the day its all about what God says, yes he is a forgiving God if you repent, but watch out when you get married because youll reap what you have sewn, what goes around comes back around when youre happy and all head over heels just like the unsuspecting husband or wife, we pay in life one way or the other.
Can't co-sign this. If Scoop stepped out on you, I doubt that you'd be wondering where the other woman was "coming from" in sleeping with him. All you'd know is that you were hurt and betrayed. That's likely what the other woman would've felt, had she known what was going on between you and her husband....
@MrBiggSmoove I don't expect that you or anyone else would co-sign this! It's a part of my past that I'm not afraid to share. We all have done things we're not proud of. I am a woman who accepts her mistakes, learns from them and moves forward wiser and more informed!!
@ShandaSays , The only way to go! Some persons will not let it go, and let you move on, forgive, then move on...not excuses, but life. What's in folk comes out in situations tough like these. Glad U moved on...TRACK
You always have such interesting (and need to be discussed) topics, to answer you question I have been with a man that I suspected was in a relationship (he always denied it), but all the signs were there. It lasted for a very short period, because I felt like it was beneath me as a women...always sneaking around etc. I know society says that is the woman who should know better, but at the end of the day (in my opinion) he's the one that has the commitment and he should honor the vowels he made.
I've been there and then some. Being honest with myself was the best ways to get out of those situations and I wasn't trying to ruin anyone's life. I just made bad decisions.
I don't believe that anyone who does that is beneath me or a bad person. However, I think that when a woman chooses to enter into a relationship with someone, knowing that they are married, it is a very depraved and contemptible thing to do.
@adavetica , And when a man does it what! Let the rules apply to all persons and don't put women (mothers, sisters, aunts, girlfriends, women friends, grand-mothers, niecess) on pedestals, we are just people, humans and subject to all faults and sin like everybody else. Those without any, case the first stone!...TRACK
@TRACKtoU Calm down! I simply said "WOMAN" because Shanda was speaking about women. However, I believe the SAME rules apply to men. Whether it is a man or a woman committing such an act, I believe it is contemptible, regardless of gender.
I have a friend who is talking to a married guy and this has put a damper on our friendship. I told her that I lost respect for her as a woman especially since she can't stand her fathers wife because he did thing same to her family and her own ex who cheated on her with another woman who she can't stand. This man maybe her soulmate or the man of her dreams but until he shows the papers, he is not yours. You teach people how to treat you. If you don't respect you, then he surely won't.
To answer your question, yes I have, not proud but not going to beat myself up either! Males have manipulated the stima of relationships to keep control of females. We are called whores, home wreckers, bimbos and a number of others things, but males are just dogs and boys being boys, one way they get away.
And there are those women who DO NOT want marriage, or children and they handle things different according to their needs and wants. So there is much more then meets the eyes and ears...TRACK
Shanda, You have the best subjects! For me no women can take my man, he has to want to go and be with her! hurt feeling yes, but there is no gun to his head! She didn't wreck his home "he did". Didn't he know he was married?, he knew she wasn't his wife. He made the vows to the wife, she didn't! Many things we like to blame the female cause we females are taught that from the womb, plus it lets us have sex again with mr. more easily... TRACK...a real human
I've been there. Once I found out he had a girlfriend I was already in the thick of it and it took many years to get the back bone to end it. I strongly believe "How you get him is how you lose him" Karma comes back to everyone.
i did the same thing. and almost lost my life. i feel bad some days because it messed up both our fam. he an his wife were together 22yr. an my husband an i were together 10 yr. whit lil kids. it hurt my kids so bad .
we are still married (2012) and though out the years of our marriage I caught him once in person and 10 times on line and like 3 V-messages …… and his own cousin told me he’s up to no Good smh I don’t know how to let go….. Because I came from a broken home I don’t know how to let go…… or is it just comma……. Oh what a web I weaved….. Another thing I wonder if my husband is a huge lesson I need to learn from and move on idk
janeice0906 4 weeks ago
Now that I’m married I defiantly regret all of it this is why. When I was 5 months pregnant in 2008 I caught my husband with our co-worker in my home the music was playing some soft tunes and my bed was messed up…. I walked in the room and looked @ them and said comma is a strong B-Word….. oh and Shanda my baby girl is fine and healthy .. thank God……
janeice0906 4 weeks ago
Hey Shanda I myself was in a relationship with a married man for 3 yrs like in 04-06 and I feel so bad. I mean I will stay quit while his wife would be on the phone and everything smh I was so messy with it.
janeice0906 4 weeks ago
i have been there too. probably more than i actually knew about. but the man at them time told me he was separated. i don't know if it were true or not, but i just didn't care at the time. and i did it for some of the same reasons you did...it happens.
jmayerlicious 1 month ago
somehow i still can find myself having respect for you and understanding why you did it, not condoning or agreeing with the actions. but at least you learned and were honest and shared! btw where did you get your earrings and ring from? LOVE IT! must have lol
THiCkUMSz7 1 month ago
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DavidamariaVidamari 1 month ago
I made that mistake and I don't think everyone can control who they fall in love with. Some people are better at it than others. I did know and he told me he was leaving her and all the usual nonsense and I believed it. I think at the time I was lonely, but I also had low self-esteem and was accepting less than I deserved. The part that was more confusing for me was that our relationship wasn't so sexual as it was friendship. I think that was what was missing in his relationship.
sansvirgin 2 months ago
I'm so thankful for you sharing it. I can relate and I'm ashamed of it but it was definitely a learning experience
ur1luv802 2 months ago
@ShandaSays My question to you is should I trust her?
HonestApril 2 months ago
@ShandaSays I love you for this. I was having a fun and just fooling around with a man who did not tell me he was married. I ended up pregnant by him and kept my baby. While I was four months pregnant, I found out but not by him. His friend told me & a girlfriend of mine finally decided to tell me after I was pregnant. She know his wife and her family personally and is my co worker. When I asked her why didn't she tell me before I conceived her response was it wasn't her place He still denies it
HonestApril 2 months ago
i love how open you were about this. I have had this experience. i was in a relationship with a man who has a child. he cheated on me with his baby mama. i moved away (back to my home state) and he moved in with her. even though i knew he was in a relationship with her i continued to be his mistress for over a year..through prayer i was finally able to cut all ties a couple months ago..love is tricky sometimes..nice topic
michellestanley100 2 months ago in playlist More videos from ShandaSays
I was a mistress. Then became his wife. And me and his former wife are very close even when she know I was his mistress
nicoleandnunu 3 months ago
I didn't read thru all comments below so my apologies if someone already made this point. You didn't know he was married and fell in love. Someone women KNOW and still fall in love. Big difference. Thanks for sharing
JustSynetta 3 months ago
initially, i would say women like this are "sluts" but shandas was more circumstantial and @splibbcarter her body is beautifully curvacious :)
geeseSNK 3 months ago
i admired the way you discussed this....
lfqesqgmail 3 months ago
I ain't know fat man scoop wifey was this damn fine. Now I need to see how that azz look.
splibbcarter 4 months ago
Girrrrrrrl!!!
BLACKARAZZI 4 months ago
your such a strong woman for admitting this! go you!
tatilatonta 4 months ago
I believe in the bible and I know I cant lust after you since you are married...but man its hard not to. Im a have to stop watching your vids for a while :)
FlawlessJ90 4 months ago
I honestly Have dealt with a married man and im not Proud of it either.iwas Young and dumb..But i dont feel like Im a Horrible person.But In my opioion Alot of women who sleep with men who are taken and know it Dont know there worth and Value..When I did it I honestly didnt know what morals were I didnt Understand the Importance of marriage and the fact that Its sacred and favored by god..I think Adultery is one of the WORST sins. I promised myself I wouldnt do it again cause U reap what u sow.
caligirl83100 4 months ago
Shanda, I don't care what anybody says on here. I haven't read all the comments, but I'm sure some women already threw negative energy your way. I know I don't know you, but I love you! LOL!.. I've never been in a situation like this, but I love that you were honest and open about your past (not to dwell or anything, but to help other women).. I appreciate that so much! I love your realness and I hope I can meet you one day :D
mimi504 5 months ago
l0ve the look i think everyone at one point in time will experience this because some MEN will not reveil that they are MARRIED until its to late... ur just been real and we all like been with a man so some are in deniel. thanks, me too have been here to lady i got ur BACK...
29vonda 5 months ago
the lipstick is killing it!!!!! sexyyy is it by Mac?
07poetry 5 months ago
Shanda, how did you get through that? I am in a very similar situation. Should I message you?
csan9364 5 months ago
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youheard03 5 months ago
The excitement of sneaking around is what usually gets a lot of people. I've thought about being a....not sure what the term is but let's say I snuck around with a married woman. It felt good at the time but looking back it's not something I'm proud of. Thanks for sharing that Shanda and I feel like it's one of those things where it seems like a good idea at first but you realize it wasn't such a good idea. I actually respect more now that you revealed that.
BigboyHollywood 5 months ago
Shanda is there any way you can talk about couples who break up and is there a chance of them getting back together? There are couples who are off and on and others break up and one of the people in the couple is still in love.
ambroset1990 5 months ago
@ambroset1990 I think this is a great topic to speak about! Definitely!
ShandaSays 5 months ago
you got cought up in the moment i understand what u mean and his Family was to you just a story they weren't Real for u i know u knew but they were names and faces that u never seen before i understand that and no this doesnt make u a bad person i understand that kind of a mistress
but the true horriable kind of mistress is the one who knew the wife and was a so called friend to her that kind of mistress has no excuses couse how could u fall in love with a man when you alrdy love his wife ?!
lolqqqlol 5 months ago
I don't understand the contempt here. You didn't sugarcoat it, glaze it, or wrap it in a pretty bow. You told the cold hard truth and admitted it wasn't the right thing to do. I applaud your honesty and appreciate your candidness.
chocolatemomof3 5 months ago 2
it takes confidence and maturity to talk about things that arent so comfortable to talk about, im glad you moved beyond this, i agree you should not be ashamed or have any regrets, in life you never know what your gonna get none of us have crossed every t and dotted every i, its easy for ppl to say the should of would of could of until they are in the situation their self, i applaud you God bless
adreya31 5 months ago
Among the best things about growing older is that you loose the childisih, judgemental, condemning ways. I actually stopped talking to a dear friend because she was seeing a married man. In hindsight I realize she was at a very vulnerable point in her life and she was one of two victims in that triangle. I truly respect your honesty.
cpcjam 5 months ago
I was seeing a guy who was cheating on his woman. I knew something was up with him just by the way he talked to me and the way he acted and responded to my words and actions. I eventually got the proof and broke it off but inside I wanted to stay with him, but I knew it would be wrong so I made the right decision by leaving him.
KandiKidKJ 5 months ago
You haven't lost me as a viewer. It's a brave thing to share details of your life such as this. I've been the other women before, although he wasn't married. You're right that it's a position of powerlessness. I'm not proud of what I did either but I wouldn't take it back because I learned a lot.
lovemespecial21 5 months ago
I appreciate you for sharing this...and learning from the life lesson - hopefully others will see beyond the excitement of the "sneak" and understand the true loneliness that comes from being with a man who is not committed to her wholeheartedly
babieea 5 months ago
Many*
MrsDeeVuh 5 months ago
I think you are awesome. I am married and don't feel any funny way about you. Everyone in life makes mistakes and not may learn from them so for that I applaud you.
MrsDeeVuh 5 months ago
Yes, you can control who you fall in love with. I will not fall in love with a married man, a man with a bunch kids, ect.... you can control it. Initially you didn't know, but once you found out and CONTINUED...that's when you were to blame....and that's why you're not proud of it.
j81jevon 5 months ago 6
@j81jevon You are entitled to your opinion which is why I love what I do. Not everyone may agree with how we live our lives, but we learn from our pasts to direct our futures. I didn't expect everyone to understand but what I will say is I'm NEVER ashamed of my past. It's why I am the woman I am today!! Life is filled with lessons,choices and opportunities. I have had the blessing of learning from all 3!!! I move forward as a proud,esteemed and accomplished woman!!!
ShandaSays 5 months ago 19
We all make mistakes, and being married woman this topic makes me cringe but I respect a woman (those who didn't know orginally the man was married) who can admit her wrong and fight her feelings and leave the man alone. How long after his admittance did it take for you to leave him?
sheistopclass 5 months ago
Married men are like rental cars. Its new and exciting, gets you to where you need to go (basically you enjoy it while it last) then you give it back. If it breaks down or has problems, its the owners/wife responsibility to fix it. I canjust find another rental car. The only issue is stability (it ain't nothing like having your own) but some women just don't want to put in the effort of maintaining the ownership of a car and dealing with maintenance SO WE RENT!
972trev 5 months ago
Men are like used cars, someone has owned it before and ain't no telling what damage they did to it.Now you have this car , your paying to own,and its new to you. In the beginning your excited about it, its new, you love it. Then you get use to it, it slowly starts to have problems, new oil change, new a/c or heater (without good maintenance it breaks down).
972trev 5 months ago
You are working that red lipstick! Lobe the honesty & it really made me think. Qt
lionloxs 5 months ago
i think life in itself is not straight. i totally believe you and i respect your opinion and i think the best thing however is to move on which you have done. kudos to you. Men hide things and he hid it from you hoping you will fall for this and get his way. I think you were played into it and that clouded your judgement. keep up the good work and keep on keeping it real
TheDoniyan 5 months ago
I respect your candidness. Do you ever wonder if karma will catch up to you and you will be on the receiving end?
deeplynluv 5 months ago 2
@deeplynluv This happened over 12 years ago. I definitely paid in ways that I know that I had to. But in sharing my life,even the negative, I hope for people to learn from it and consider making better choices in their own lives.
ShandaSays 5 months ago 2
@ShandaSays Well thank you for sharing. We have all done things in life we are not proud of. It takes a good person to own up to those mistakes and try to use them as a tool for others to avoid those blunders.
deeplynluv 5 months ago
You look beautiful in white, Shanda!
flyy 5 months ago
i know this feeling i been the other woman , and i did fall in love with him and h was in love with me . Its hurt that you can talk to him or even share his life , but that was years ago i feel so bad that i did that to him i could have said no but i did not so i am stuck in my life know i broke his marriage up and so this is my cross i have to hold .
miss36067 5 months ago
As I look back, a part of me wishes I never went through those experiences (one was dating a married man, one was getting, AND staying in an abusive relationship), I HAVE to believe that it was not in vain. i believe they were to humble me and make me look at things from a different perspective. they taught me to hear people out, even if their opinions/experiences were unpopular according to my personal beliefs. DO YOU GIRL!!! KEEP IT REAL. I fuggggssss with you! :-)
gettingphinenow 5 months ago
AWESOME POST!!! Don't get caught up in the negative responses, Shanda. This is a very emotional subject, especially for any woman who's been cheated on, but I was in your predicament too, a predicament i swore up and down i WOULD NEVER be in. We establish boundaries for ourselves as young women and emphatically state that we "would never" this or that....THEN life happens, and those VERY situations we SWORE up and down we'd never be in, we find ourselves there.
gettingphinenow 5 months ago
But my thought is this: tTHE ONLY PERSON THAT OWES U SOMETHING IS UR HUSBAND. SO DON'T CALL ME LIKE I HAV TO LISTEN, HE SAID 'I DO' HE IS URS... Plus I don't want him... I've already been there
charice281 5 months ago
I hav been there, my HS bf got married when he was still calling trying to be w/ me. I actually talked to him the same day. When I found out I sent a pissed off email. His wife found it 1st & pissed. She claims she had no Clue who I was. If she never heard of me she really doesn't kno him. Now they r hav problem & if she would hav got to kno me 1st, we could hav been friends I would tell her, he is a runner. I love him but lov them together More. Crazy thing is I liv 5hrs away
charice281 5 months ago
It is a difficult position to be in, I bet. As a married women, I understand why women become mistress'. I have improved/enriched by husband so he epitomizes the best qualities women seek in men. if he had a mistress..she is getting the improved package. I don't judge people on their actions that is for God. For all the current mistress, I wish they could spend 2 weeks in the wife shoe, I bet they would respect the union and leave the man to his family..
kk7462 5 months ago
I respect you for being so open :) It really is inspiring
xxsweetGxx 5 months ago
if you lose viewers over this it's the most shallow thing i've ever witnessed. Ppl write in to you for advice and so they should be able to accept what comes with it. Everyone has things in their lives that they aren't proud of but the main this is that you had the courage to speak out and admit that you were wrong. If ppl don't like your honesty they can kick rocks!
Zaafirathebeautiful 5 months ago 5
Some men will create a believable story so that he can make that woman comfortable to have sex with outside his relationship. I really dont think you had a choice in the matter because you were deceived. Men know that when a woman loves a man she is not so ready to let him go. (using our loyalty against us) . Oh BTW speaking of loyalty I am a viewer for LIFe I aint leaving you girl!!! you can do know wrong in my Eyes ! thanks for sharing yourself on youtube. you inspire me.
spalyfe 5 months ago
i think anyless of you. i havent done it myself, but its ok, youre human. and making mistakes is part of that. goodness knows ive made enough myself. jsut different ones. i have been cheated on though, and the other woman knew of me, and that i was pregnant, and they still did what they did. so i do have less than flattering thoughts of her as a person, but that is what it is. mostly i feel sorry for her, because if he cheated on me, i think he could do the same to her.
goldieknox03 5 months ago
makeup and hair tutorial???? soon...maybe? :-)
kiya467 5 months ago
I get so excited when I see your videos on my list. You always keep it interesting and you always look like a million! Your makeup is always flawless! Love It!!
Lyrica81 5 months ago
I've never been with a married man, but yes I have been an interloper in a relationship. We had feelings for each other and I confess that I loves him. At the end I was heartbroken though but by the grace of God, I am better.
At that time I didn't love myself. That is why I stay away from other's relationships for now on.
laravia18 5 months ago
Thank you for your honesty, but the excitement and sneaking and crazy sex with a married other are all tricks of the devil, and people dont want to hear that, and at the end of the day its all about what God says, yes he is a forgiving God if you repent, but watch out when you get married because youll reap what you have sewn, what goes around comes back around when youre happy and all head over heels just like the unsuspecting husband or wife, we pay in life one way or the other.
sheleahw 5 months ago
Can't co-sign this. If Scoop stepped out on you, I doubt that you'd be wondering where the other woman was "coming from" in sleeping with him. All you'd know is that you were hurt and betrayed. That's likely what the other woman would've felt, had she known what was going on between you and her husband....
MrBiggSmoove 5 months ago 3
@MrBiggSmoove I don't expect that you or anyone else would co-sign this! It's a part of my past that I'm not afraid to share. We all have done things we're not proud of. I am a woman who accepts her mistakes, learns from them and moves forward wiser and more informed!!
ShandaSays 5 months ago 25
@ShandaSays , The only way to go! Some persons will not let it go, and let you move on, forgive, then move on...not excuses, but life. What's in folk comes out in situations tough like these. Glad U moved on...TRACK
TRACKtoU 5 months ago
@ShandaSays Understood....just gotta look at it from the other side.....still love ya! :-)
MrBiggSmoove 5 months ago
You always have such interesting (and need to be discussed) topics, to answer you question I have been with a man that I suspected was in a relationship (he always denied it), but all the signs were there. It lasted for a very short period, because I felt like it was beneath me as a women...always sneaking around etc. I know society says that is the woman who should know better, but at the end of the day (in my opinion) he's the one that has the commitment and he should honor the vowels he made.
freerayhn 5 months ago
Shanda men know what they do. Alot they tell the truth and its up to you if you want to stay or leave.
badassredd1 5 months ago
Your makeup is gorgeous!
the1mshbic 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Shanda.. u won't lose me as a subie... i love ur honesty and ur openness!!!!
kittiyah1 5 months ago
Shanda.. u wont lose me a subie.... i love ur honesty and ur openness.
kittiyah1 5 months ago
I've been there and then some. Being honest with myself was the best ways to get out of those situations and I wasn't trying to ruin anyone's life. I just made bad decisions.
FletB430 5 months ago
I appreciate your honesty Shanda!
adavetica 5 months ago
I don't believe that anyone who does that is beneath me or a bad person. However, I think that when a woman chooses to enter into a relationship with someone, knowing that they are married, it is a very depraved and contemptible thing to do.
adavetica 5 months ago 7
@adavetica , And when a man does it what! Let the rules apply to all persons and don't put women (mothers, sisters, aunts, girlfriends, women friends, grand-mothers, niecess) on pedestals, we are just people, humans and subject to all faults and sin like everybody else. Those without any, case the first stone!...TRACK
TRACKtoU 5 months ago
@TRACKtoU Calm down! I simply said "WOMAN" because Shanda was speaking about women. However, I believe the SAME rules apply to men. Whether it is a man or a woman committing such an act, I believe it is contemptible, regardless of gender.
adavetica 5 months ago
I have a friend who is talking to a married guy and this has put a damper on our friendship. I told her that I lost respect for her as a woman especially since she can't stand her fathers wife because he did thing same to her family and her own ex who cheated on her with another woman who she can't stand. This man maybe her soulmate or the man of her dreams but until he shows the papers, he is not yours. You teach people how to treat you. If you don't respect you, then he surely won't.
theariesnme 5 months ago
I love your honesty u r so humble and you give great advice and you're so informative love your energy you're an amazing woman
vanity6250 5 months ago
To answer your question, yes I have, not proud but not going to beat myself up either! Males have manipulated the stima of relationships to keep control of females. We are called whores, home wreckers, bimbos and a number of others things, but males are just dogs and boys being boys, one way they get away.
And there are those women who DO NOT want marriage, or children and they handle things different according to their needs and wants. So there is much more then meets the eyes and ears...TRACK
TRACKtoU 5 months ago
Shanda, You have the best subjects! For me no women can take my man, he has to want to go and be with her! hurt feeling yes, but there is no gun to his head! She didn't wreck his home "he did". Didn't he know he was married?, he knew she wasn't his wife. He made the vows to the wife, she didn't! Many things we like to blame the female cause we females are taught that from the womb, plus it lets us have sex again with mr. more easily... TRACK...a real human
TRACKtoU 5 months ago 2
have been there and it was not fun for me. he never left his woman so i had to let it go.....
MsDmatthews1 5 months ago
im a new subbie and i know you probably have answered this question but i lov your hair and how can i achieve the style. thanks!
TheMissMeea 5 months ago
I've been there. Once I found out he had a girlfriend I was already in the thick of it and it took many years to get the back bone to end it. I strongly believe "How you get him is how you lose him" Karma comes back to everyone.
LenaPink3 5 months ago
i did the same thing. and almost lost my life. i feel bad some days because it messed up both our fam. he an his wife were together 22yr. an my husband an i were together 10 yr. whit lil kids. it hurt my kids so bad .
aprilcarthage 5 months ago
@aprilcarthage I'm curious. Did your lover marry you and how did you almost lose your life? Not judging.
onlychildtonia67 5 months ago
Did she ever find out about you? And what made you decide to quit?
lover24ish 5 months ago
I HAVE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, GOT A T-SHIRT AND DON'T WANT TO GO BACK!!!!! LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!!!!
somethingnew72 5 months ago