Adoption - Loss of Birth Culture

[SuperScotty1966]

Hey if somebody can help me too find my real father or my real mother

I will give that person 1000 euro

My name is Song-Un Cha, born in 1966 @ Seoul

My father is a Afro American Soldier & my mother an South Korean

When my father left Seoul he olso left us behind,

so I get adopted by Dutch people

I only know my mothers name : Ok Ran Cha.

She must be 60-70 years?

This is all I know, Thank U for listening & bless Ya'll.

[vangroovyfun]

An excellent statement about the fact that adoptees have lost their cultural heritage, & is not limited to trans racial adoptions. Caucasian adoptees can feel a sense of loss of continuity even within a wonderful Caucasian family. The issue falls under the fact that their character traits and familial culture, such as being artistic or being independent or being athletic may not mesh or be represented within their adoptive family. This leads to magnifying the other differences.

[ThePurpleBunny123]

If someone says where I'm from I say, "China and Canada." I'm technically FROM China but raised and grew up in Canada.

[ladyEulaelie]

Reading the comments, I sense that many ppl who do adopt kids of different races kinda frown down any suggestion that the adopted kid's culture is being "taken away". I sense that their attitude is one that the adopted kid shouldn't complain of loss of identity, but should be grateful that they were "Americanized" in our society rather than stuck into another where they could become "sex slaves", even though there are sex slaves in America. I feel for those kids who have insensitive parents.

[SoveitBrave]

This is so me!!!!

[AlovinofKeys]

most my korean friends, even the ones that are just 2nd generation, not adopted, wish they knew korean or knew korean culture. Another thing i think they hate to see is (not trying to brag) when i can speak korean with other kids, and im only half korean, and they cant. They feel left out

[tryanjohnson]

At least a child has a home and food. Better than being sold as a sex slave in home country eh Dr. Lee? Oh sorry, that doesn't happen.

[asian897]

I agree with this. When I watch K-pop( Korean pop music) videos, I always feel a sense of loss. Mostly because I don't what the heck the people are saying; only way I can is if I put the music videos in english subtittles...but I still love K-pop!

[jisangNY1]

This is why I oppose international adoption. Also, blacks should adopt blacks only, Asians to Asians, and Hispanics to Hispanic children. Whites should adopt their own kind namely Russian or European kids instead of always try to go for the UN approach. Whites don't know how to teach culture that is valuable to Asian or Black kids! Instead those kids will grow up trying to act white and confused about their identity.

[pbrez22]

A loss of birth culture; does that involve my daughter being abandoned on a bus by her birth mother when she was 3 days old?

[41moment]

He is not saying that caring for a child who comes from a different cultural back round is bad. But that it's only natural that an adopted child will feel that sense of loss (not fitting in) culturally or racially as they grow older!

It's sad that this fact is ignored.

But if a child from a different Culture is adopted, The child should be given the opportunity to learn about their origins and be around people of the same cultural back rounds to give them a true sense of themselves.

[nomorefunds]

@pbrez22 Many adoptees deny the fact that their birth parents abandoned them. But the fact is, some of them were abandoned by their birth mother or birth father (or both). Perhaps they simply do not wish to believe that. Its a sad form of denial.

[gordopolish]

yess.... i'm an adopted korean , my adoptive parents used to send me to this camp when i was younger, but i quit going , it was like i even had a hard time talking and interacting with people that looked like myself now as i grow older it is still difficult i could really use some advice , i am really struggling with this.

[ambersinuyasharoom]

i know im korean and im adopted i want to know what being korean would be like how my life could be if i was still in korea though i love my family her i n the states but i want to see who my birth mother and father is and looks like

[RadioEEBB]

me too.

[sooobored]

I think this is all interesting, well meaning, and potentially true for any of us who have asian adopted children in our families- our daughters may experience this. MAY is the key word. I have met Korean adopted women who feel no connection to korea, don't care about where or who they came from. They are happy, well adjusted and loving life. They have an open dialog with their parents about their adoption. Being adopted doesn't have to define a person. It is part of the complexity of a person

[batmanzena]

yes, there are many "well-adjusted adoptees", and have open dialog with their parents, but not every adult adopted woman will share their inner deepest thoughts about being adopted! In our society, it is accepting to hear adoptees say happy things and appear content about being adopted, but not accepting to hear negative stuff-and adoptees know that from a young age. Adoptees are conditioned by society to say nothing bad about adoption.

[nadeseh]

@batmanzena boy did you say that well!  Why adoptive parents think they can just expect that this child isn't going to have their own likes and dislikes. They are expected to be grateful. Adoptee, first parents... are conditioned not to say anything bad about adoption. But go to facebook, there is a community of people who greatly suffered from adoption that do speak the truth.

[rainbowcookie0]

that's how my mom is but i feel like even if we arent cultured we still have a connection to Korea

[mirfir]

I agree with you 110%

[catherinesara]

For one family to gain- another has to loose.

Adopted children search to become WHOLE.

This is why they have to find their birth mother.

[bunnyluv41]

I agree. The hardest part for children who are adopted from other countries is that the records of those adoptions are permanently sealed, and very difficult to open, if they are even able to attempt to do so.

[jbnewburg]

Thanks for the insight and sharing this perspective.

[odious2006]

"Foreigner" and "not American?" Ummm... if they are adopted, and are thus gaining citizenship, are they not American?

I don't trust this concept. In Korea, people don't adopt- they are too concerned with the bloodline continuing. However, many Koreans still want to stop foreign adoptions- thus depriving thousands of children of a real family. If you are an orphan in Korea, you are treated as dirt- you will have a harder time getting into a university, finding work, and even marrying

[kiwi8]

Being "American" on legal documents doesn't necessarily mean you will be regarded as "American". People who think otherwise are delusional...or just ignorant and immature.

[mizcat106]

there's a difference between you seeing yourself as american and other ppl. most ppl will automatically assume u are less american then them. its true that most ppl will first ask where you are from. especially when travelling outside of north america, ppl will ask what are u. if you reply american they will continue to say "no, i mean where were u born. what are you?"

[RadioEEBB]

haha, the "what are you question". sometimes I know know whether to laugh or cry when people say that. Such a poor choice of words! So strange!:)

[tmkpk]

Once the adoption is legalized in the states or abroad, the adoptive parents still have to apply for the child's citizenship otherwise the child is not a US citizen. Yes, of course, if they are US citizens, they are American regardless of ancestry, heritage, appearance, and background.

[sooobored]

Actually, that is not accurate in all cases. If someone adopts from China because of the Hague Convention, the child becomes an automatic citizen of the United States when they land on American soil. No paperwork is necessary.