My successful Craig's List personal ad for romance. You can do it too!

[jiffyware]

My ex wife was probably one of those replies to your ad.

[ajayaruna]

Strange man...

[Paul07901]

Nix that idea, for one cannot be sure what one is getting themselves into via internet personnal ads. And who the hell likes getting issued restraining orders?

[4sineweaver2]

Well! Last time I'm responding to your ad.  I guess having the same hat means nothing to you!

[Mumugrrl]

That was funny! But I think you'd make more points with the Republican ladies if you'd listed the 700 club and O'Reilly Factor. 'Cause....um.... you know, who doesn't like Oprah?

[achtungcircus]

LOL for an only occasional visitor.

I do have to question the wisdom of a username that can be abbreviated "DP".

[luc59457]

hilarious

[phenixwryter]

: D Great ad!  I gave it a tag for best of c-list.

Four minutes of sweet monkey sex-cool. Does that include swinging from the rafters?

[leavesof3]

People still watch Days?

Weird.

[Wesleyfromindy2]

the real Desertphile, parodical ad notwithstanding, is much more of a catch than some guys.

[FredricF]

@Wesleyfromindy2

What "parodical"? Try "honest".

:-)

[mejc2]

Dude you are really looking healthy. God bless you. I hope you live long and prosper.

[BelieveNoGod]

LOL.

Nice ad.

"I can fake honesty" :))

Isn't that what most personal ad-writers do ?

[SuperMongoosem]

You funny bastard! :D

[AnonaThetan]

I would hate to see the hooker that could actually show up at your door

[SAsgarters]

Prostitutes, you say...

[haashond]

Thats soo sexy...

[AbdultheImpailler]

LMAO DP!!!

agreed with startreking2007, vote for best of C-list!

[salerio61]

haha I saw this advert a few days ago - it went viral, I didn't recognise you from the pic though

[brainfoodlunch]

ROFL.

And if, after that, you've still got a 5 minutes of your day that you want to fill, post a video about it on YouTube and... get yourself a new subscriber!

;D

[startreking2007]

Please everyone vote it as "Best of Craigslist"

[Alisterwolf66]

Omg, that ad was priceless! I sent the link to a bunch of my friends!

[cori800888]

AA babes are ... the best....Next comes sweeties who kidnapped their high school quarer back and took him out into the back woods for a scew in back of der daddies station wagon. an unfaithful sort though

[DoctorPlausible]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

My bet is that ANY intelligent woman would like it. A woman who isn't attracted to this sort of joke isn't worth the trouble.

[adolthitler]

I am so close to your perfect partner.

I just failed on the female.

Better luck next time I guess.

[prunt23]

you glorious bastard, that was hilarious lol

[floydstinkyboy]

my favorite is "Lonely Alaskan Man, seeks female companion who enjoys romantic walks on the beach, birdwatching, hiking, camping, fishing and boating. Please send picture of boat."

[edgewayround]

Ha ha ha brilliant !!! Love the toyota !!!

[157626]

A new low in social networking!

Funny, laugh out loud personal ad.

[Tyrtamus]

Oh that so made my day.

[revjimbob]

You missed the most vital requirement in a potential mate:

"Must be able to fog a mirror."

[DonHoraldo]

god you look almost exactly like my father in that picture. that is freaky.

[SofaKingLoaded]

Damn that's hilarious.. I ran one recently on Craigslist as well..

"Old, bald, skinny, heavily tattooed and mildly retarded brewer seeks young, Mensa level, double jointed supermodel who brews her own beer and grows her own weed.."

[LeksServices]

"Four minutes?"  That long?

Seriously, I remember the time you used your enormous member on me! It was the best four hours of my life! ~_^

[revjimbob]

"Four minutes?"

That includes the post-coital cigareet.

[godfree2canada]

flagged as best of craigslist

[renegade4dio]

ROTFL. That was the most entertaining personal I've ever seen. "I can fake honesty."

5*

[djarm67]

So is this a "No" to my email?

[tricklessmagic]

"ok I can fake honesty"

LMAO.

[jp00000420]

I laughed soooo hard.

[SmoothInstigator]

Best personal ad ever.

[hgryphon]

Of course you're looking for a Republican if you're posting you live in a Toyota. ;)

[tekhiun]

"alcoholic a plus" LMAO

[Ender1zero1]

Be honest you're a horn dog, good for you, and every other horn dog out there

[alphgeek]

Good luck Desertphile, I'm sure there is a girl out there for you. I somehow found one so there's hope for everybody.

I applaud your honesty, too many people succumb to the temptation of posting misleading facts or images of themselves rather than the unvarnished truth. Heck man, you are more handsome than I am!

PS Don't scorn those offers from the pornographers. One day you might be happy that you know a few porn stars. Those folk are handy in tough situations.

[quexalcoatl]

Wow, craigslist is a wonder of the technological age. Hey, I'd be your friend if I was in that charleton heston wasteland, hell I'd take your body Malkovitch style even.

Try selling your soul on craigslist next and see if Moloch replies. :D

[Vogter2100]

Hilarious.. Good luck my firend.

[carrierexchange]

If you had a gf you could fill that in alright.

[redrandy4960]

when I went to the link I couldn't stop laughing and I hope you good luck finding a companion that is a breathing, female, alcoholic, with no self-esteem I hate to tell you this but in today's world you might have to settle for 3 out of 4 with standers that high

[oOoxelAoOo]

Aaaah that made my morning, 3 hours of sleep and no coffee yet.

[kalamain]

You want someone 'Breathing' and 'Female'...

Your too picky....

[redshiftexperiment]

from ages 19 to 98? Don't you worry about the 18 year olds out there who might be lured in by that dynamite ad? .. or for that matter the centenarians that need love? sigh .. oh well your loss!

[Bandaids4ever]

I'd be your girlfriend. Hell, who wouldn't? Oh wait. I'm a dude.

[Danmill23]

Do a porno flick Des.

Dessi does ... dessert!

[Flapjackbatter]

What a picture !

[AncientAtheist]

Congratulations on your... responses? : )

[KriimIanga]

Quite the Casanova. You'll be beating the ladies off with a stick.

Well, you'll be beating something off, I guess.

[fantasy0coach]

lol...was that chess playing, or chest playing?

[stonedcommander]

I was really attracted to you until you said that "other" soap opera...I watch general hospital so the honeymoon is off...you broke my heart.........

[SSanf]

LOL!! Dang, you could have just PMed me in the first place. ;)

[DonQuixotedeKaw]

I don't doubt you would.

There might be a line.

But you're older and have better insurance.

[SSanf]

The better to compete with youth and beauty.

[GBart]

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­

[billygutter01]

I'll one-up any coffee spitting dude here!

I shit my pants, was revolted, vomited into my shirt, threw the shirt and pants into a woodstove, vomited again from the smell of boiling bile, then gave up, setting my house on fire for the insurance (that I forgot to renew).

[mmmirele]

Could you quote from the responses? I'm dying to know...

[lightmobile]

I'm 59 seconds into this and this is already the funniest video I have seen in weeks

[jdcmusicman]

LMAO .....

[pokerslut530]

OOoooh I flagged it "best of craigslist" too :P

[DonQuixotedeKaw]

I could not stop fucking laughing!!!!

I had to watch it twice to stifle my own guffaws enough to catch what I'd missed. In one video, you have surpased The Dick, in the number and quality of belly shakers inspired this month.

In truth, I did this once before myself, and got much the same results. A brilliant video sir!

[pokerslut530]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dp you're god damn hilarious that's the funniest shit I've seen all day on the intertubez!

[glasshammer52]

I still miss the Guess-Your-Weight Prize set decor.

[GetMeThere1]

DP: what you really need is one of those $7k silicone love dolls! Howard Stern claims (not entirely jokingly) that one was the best POA he ever had.

There are a couple of pathetic youtube videos of guys who have them (or 10 or 12 of them, believe it or not). As pathetic as it is, they claim to be ECSTATICALLY HAPPY.

Or....maybe a small herd of sheep is the ideal solution.

[mobiltec]

DP with an ad like that, you may even get a reply from Sara Palin her self.... How do you feel about living in Alaska?

[XxVizzinixX]

I suspect this video is a desperate attempt to salvage whatever dignity you believe you still have.

Clearly, you posted an embarrassing, though all too accurate, listing of yourself on craigslist. You were either high, drunk, depressed, horny or any combination of those.

After coming back to reality/sobriety, you scrambled this video together and hoped no one would know the TRUTH of your self loathing.

Nice try DP, the gig is up. Peace.

[mobiltec]

@XxVizzinixX Guess you just don't know DP like I do. But you did get two out of four right. I'll let you guess which two.

[ravenslaves]

Isn't this the sort of thing that attracted Dustin in the first place? Just be more careful this time.

[labrat882]

That was fucking HILARIOUS XD you should get bored more often!

[Aerosteon]

Don't do it Desertphile. I'm worried you'll lack the time energy and rage to keep making the videos I love if you get yourself a woman,

[mobiltec]

@Aerosteon He's gonna need more than one. And remember there are two of him.

[kv1901]

Shameless hussy you! :)

[AronRa]

I love your ad! Especially the picture with the arrows and descriptions.

[mobiltec]

@AronRa The best part is that the photo you are looking at was of a real situation. If I remember right that is where one of the wheels fell off the truck.

[SnowWalkerOne]

Empty time slots? lol, EMPTY TIME SLOTS? LOL. that was funny. Don't sugar coat it Desertphile. Thanks for the chuckles.

[seriouslymatsteele]

This video was certainly about something. Something sexy. I might just respond to that ad.

[TheFounderUtopia]

"I can fake honesty."

Single most awesome line I have ever heard.

[LordShadrach]

Hilarious with your house, man! Question is, where do you make your videos? Your back seat!?

[tattooskin72]

OMG fucking hilarious :) I love your house! ;)

[AisuSeijin]

I've known people to post similar ads... But I haven't known anyone to create an ad that truly made me burst out laughing, and was actually funny as hell! Hahaha.

[junosden]

Those pictures on that ad were hilarious.

[snoopdog68]

This is your best troll video yet..

[AtheistAussie]

I laughed. Very, very much. Thank you so much for this.

[cansurfer1]

Desertphile, you dog! I didn't know you watched Oprah! :)

[nadiaTeeze]

hahaha great ad

[teredona]

LOL

[bobster451]

Hilarious! And entertaining!

Seems to be a place where when you put an ad out there you get many responses from gay dudes... Go figure.

[TheAtheistPaladin]

Let no one say that you don't have a sense of humor.

[GalahadGuy]

I'm an alki that loves filing restraining orders! You'll be getting a relpy from me soon.

[NotSoOldHippy]

I like it!

[VolatileReaction]

Liked the ad. That's some classy residence you've got there.

[CrapsWithBears]

Monkey love!! Does that mean bananas are involved?

[ChelseaHysteria]

rofl