Goldblum Teaches Self-Heimlich

[MaryTheresa1986]

I wish Jeff would lean against *me* and go "uh uh uh".....

[jeweetubee]

"ugh,ugh,ugh"

[KTAVERILL]

Is it just me, or is Goldblum just too awesome to deny?

[Poopaloo55]

It is taught in first aid...sadly not by Jeff Goldblum at the class I took...I would so have volunteered to be the hard object!!!

[Wonderfat]

He just wanted an excuse to hump the desk.

[FooledToaster]

Conan had a perfect set up at the end. Why did he just start rambling?

[AdmStevens]

[–]mine_shaft_gap 83 points 2 hours ago

I watched Jeff Goldblum teach the self-Heimlich on Conan (video). Luckily, the next day when I was chocking on Chinese food I remembered it. Jeff Goldblum saved my life.

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[MOstling333]

@AdmStevens upvoted

[UniQueLyEviL]

LOL

[light24bulbs]

i read that someone saved themselves with this the day after watching it, via reddit. Yep, thats legit

[Peon546]

I almost died due to choking and I was not offended by this video at all

[Killersfrombeyond]

@Megstone07. How, smart ass? How, do you disable You Tube Viewing History on a: Motorola Verizon Android 4 Smart Ph?

[Killersfrombeyond]

Hello, can anyone tell me how to disable my: You Tube Viewing History?

[megstone07]

@Killersfrombeyond yes!

[Killersfrombeyond]

@ZO50. This, video will not come off my You Tube viewing history. Why is that?

[corrina253]

I watched this when it aired on NBC. I actually stayed up all night to catch the encore so I could record it...haha.

[PhoenixtheHybrid]

OMG LMAO

[1forestcat]

Actually, I had to do that same thing to myself - no joke! I've never eaten a Liverwurst sandwich  since then. Damm hunk went flying out of my mouth and across the living room. Gross. Oh well, at least I didn't die that day.

[vamplov365]

It's waz weird,funny@ sexy all @ the same time lolz!!!!

[ChristinaNHarrell]

This, my friends, is comedic gold.

[mskiara18]

Why am I sort of jealous of that desk lol -.-

[pikkuadi]

He can self-heimlich me anytime

[Kieran84ire]

lulz jeff

[Wdd4lif3]

weird dude...great actor.

[roleplay14]

he isn't dead it was a hoax, a rumor that spread from a prank site....

[ibleedfudge]

I wish he'd Self-Heimlich me ;P

[TAz69x]

So Conan's table at the Tonight Show is Goldblum's lovechild. I KNEW it!

[LadyVLR]

I hope I'm not jumping in on something for the original poster to explain, but I think what was originally meant was:

This clip was originally on the Late Night show, where he would've "impregnated" (LOL) the desk there. Conan moved on to the Tonight Show, and I think the joke was being made that the desk/table at the Tonight Show was the child of the desk on the Late Night show.

[viannafin]

MANY girls are now jealous of that table.

[nerdelicious5]

I think that table got pregnant

[Calucifer13]

He did it on purpose - pretending sex moves. Because it really was not that much about Heimlich. It was pretty double-meaning, and he loved it because he knew well how women will react. Cute. And cunning. Love him.

[farerse]

i think he wanted to get a comic reaction from conan actually. which are often spontanous and funny:)

[Dadge42]

RIP unless ur not dead

[meerkatlibrarian]

LOL , so funny and cute :)

[PinappleMatt]

God i love this guy and also he is a fellow glasses wearer, LEGEND!

That Self-Heimlich may come in handy one day :)

[blizzaire08]

ooOOOooo me wishes i were a desk :P

4 the sweet goldblum humps

[Izzy220988]

r.i.p sweet prince

[Koptfoeva]

he never died! he was on colbert last week for christs sakes

[thadea]

then you shall forever be known as the desk humper

[omzzzzz]

I like how he was completely fine with demonstrating the self heimlich even though it looked wrong. He is so innocent.

[AnTiNoRrmaL]

He's hott!

[tate22000]

Goldblum rules!

[ltothem11]

how come he is so cool !?!

[jhonelliej]

Sigh...this marks the first time in my entire life that I have actually envied an inanimate object. Go table! Get your freak on! You'll never get a chance like this again!

[tiredkid]

conan+ golblum= gold

[MrFreeman420]

mustgo faster

[rusalichka]

lol wasnt that from jurassic park

[acidheadx]

best heimlich is to find a bully to punch you hard in the gut

[cannabL1sS]

too bad i havent seen a 'bully' since 8th grade

[Chrrayden3]

A bully!!! Dang that's halarious!!!

[Craig496]

"Look! That man is choking! Quick, give him something to dry hump for the love of God!"

[damaband41]

nice.

[heartyhoopz1184]

is goldblum really that hot???

[andmataren]

He's hotter. He's so hot I drop him :O

[bummercucumber]

Ahah. I love this.

[erasermcfleafly]

conan o'brien makes not funny things funny.

[manimitch]

Damn that is one lucky table....

[Jex2112]

also another important thing to know, if your trying to heimlich some who is too big to get your arms around, put their back up against a wall and press on their stomach... learnt that in a first aid course :P

[aleashasam01]

for a split moment I wanted to be a desk... so i can get humped by Goldblum

[acp2483]

Hahaha Jeff Goldblum just humped his table. I love it.

[nerdfightersftw]

Jeff Goldblum.

Every second he spends NOT impregnating me is a second of my life wasted.

[ripeshot11]

do you find him sexy?? if so, what is it about him, his humor or what?? thanks

[nerdfightersftw]

Everything about him is sexy-- his looks, his voice, his sense of humor, his sense of self. He's tall, dark, and handsome. He's adorable. I can't understand how someone could NOT find him sexy. What's not to like?

He's pretty much the finest specimen of a man I have ever laid eyes on. He makes my heart sing. He makes my V burn. He is THE MAN.

Does this surprise you?

[ripeshot11]

well, I guess every girl/woman has different preferences. what about other celebs like Brad pitt or Tyson Beckford?? do you find them sexy too?

[nerdfightersftw]

Erm... not so much, to be honest. I mean, I can see how other women could find them attractive, but they're just not for me.

I'm much more of a Jeff Goldblum, Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, Jesse Eisenberg, David Bowie, Andy Samberg type of gal. I also like the vlogbrothers, and Adam Brody. I guess I go for a more nerdy cute?

I will confess, though: I think James Marsden was sculpted by the gods.

[PiecesOfRainbow7]

I'm likin your list! I've never fancied Brad Pitt, and Tyson Beckford is sexy but too muscly for me. JAMES MARSDEN!!!

[fobsessivegirl13]

michael cera is adorable i will give you that:)

[ripeshot11]

don't you think he looks like the creepy guy Randall from recess?

[fobsessivegirl13]

omg, haha:)

which one was randall?

[alexfanx]

Are you Jewish?

[nerdfightersftw]

haha, no I'm not. But I do find Jewish men incredibly attractive.

[checkcheckcraaash]

not at all. they're just kind of muscle-ey. we--well, at least iii--like witty, subtly sexy guys. brad and tyson seem to revel in their looks, which is not really appealing.

[K1w1Fu]

I actually think Jeff was hiding a hell of a lot of himself in Independence Day. His tank-top was definitely being stretched quite a bit!

[PiecesOfRainbow7]

You know, I honestly can't pinpoint it, but i agree, he's foxy! I think for me at least it stems from jurassic park, cuz I personally found his character in that VERY sexy. And I like all his ums and ers. lol.

[a5987b]

yo uwanna know who's sexy, ROSIE O DONNEL. mm mmmmm mmm as chris rock said in Kill The Messenger, move that gut to the side, there's some good pussy under there

[KayleeWearsPrada]

god he is hot(:

i want him. haha.

[Nastradumas]

Oh lord....lol that kind of sexy.

[Castroph]

Goldblum ftw

[RavishingRadish]

He's so yummy it hurts. :D

[reznorfan15]

haha, goldblum is great. surely he will liven up the boring law and order cast.

[timsperts]

why hasn't he been in any bigs movie lately. he is great.

[ISpearedJesus]

Oh Jeff, you animal.

[eveee89]

hehe this was my topic on my healt care exam for my driving license lol thanks i didnt have to show it on the girl i was in the room with...

[blowtorchacurlyfry1]

how many people would die to be that desk?lol

[clownhidden]

Id like to be between that desk and jeff, doing the augh, augh, sound agsin.

[MorriganJezebel]

:O OMG haha

[NicocoWood]

why can't i marry this man? I love Jeff.

[1PrincessFiona]

i should pretend to do the self heimlich on my principal's desk I don't like her she's mean lol

[doktorkloride]

Hes a marvelous actor

[mittred2]

WWJG

[wackiestuff]

I love jeff goldblum more! Since the 1970s!

[Eshalmahmood]

He's very cool.

[annaisscrumptulesent]

I love Jeff Goldblum.

Hah :]

[Eshalmahmood]

We all do!

[ithoughtyouwere16]

jeff goldblum. mm

[rando0m]

I wish I was that desk. XD

<3Tess

[MillerTan]

did I read your comment correctly?

[LadyVLR]

I think wanting to be thrusted against was the idea, rather than just wanting to become a random inanimate wooden object, LOL. :)

[Eshalmahmood]

You're funny! ;)

[LadyVLR]

LOL thanks, I was just mostly trying to clear things up, though.

[Eshalmahmood]

Yes, often we need to clarify things!

[Depplover21]

I think he is holding back, god I could watch that for hours. ;0)

[scheherazade08]

I'd like to put myself against his hard surface and go ahh ahh ahhh....lmao

[pikanti]

haha he is absolutely right..i saw the self Heimlich in health class

[LoganMarvel]

Life-saving advice...but still--that did NOT look right! LMAO :=P

[GreenEyedBanana]

hahaha oh yes it did look right, oh yes it did! hahaha

[lovejg]

Jeff Goldblum is sexiest and funniest man on earth.

[annaisscrumptulesent]

hahahha i love jeff goldblum<3

[lonelypainter]

This clip is hilarious. I love Jeff Goldblum.