Added: 3 years ago
From: intheflesh851
Views: 46,062
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  • ...and once again, I click on one Patton Oswalt video and 2 hours later I'm still watching them.

  • Thumbs up if the American Slang Dictionary should have an entire entry titled:

    'douchebaggery'

    This guy's a treasure trove of tiny economical and surgical hilarity. Laugh a minute stuff, even at the tangents.

  • ...audio?

  • I AM ONE WITH THE GODS!

  • "You're going to miss everything cool, and die angry."

    My God, I have a new motto for YT fuckwits...

    Thank you, Patton.

  • Why can't they get a morning after pill at CVS?

  • RAPE GLOBBINS!!!! 

  • @mmmodafoca No one asked you to. Can you read three words an inch from where you posted?

    Ten Months Ago

    ;)

    Fail at heckle.

  • "You're going to miss everything cool and die angry."

    I do believe that douchebag got OWNED.

  • He's somewhat subtly saying that they were in a black or Mexican neighborhood. The indirect way he says this and that you have to have heard what he said in the first minute is what makes it funny. That and they're probably largely drunk.

  • I know I'm gonna sound really dense. . . and stupid, but I gotta ask. Why did people oooh so much when he made that crack about his cellphone not working at 1:05? Please explain without insulting me.

  • Looks like nobody clarified this, so I'll fill ya in: earlier in the set he complained that his cellphone always cuts out in Black and Hispanic neighborhoods!

    You should get the album that this set is on: Werewolves and Lollipops. Great CD.

  • LOL. . . ouch

  • Comment removed

  • @perksnpeeves earlier on in the set he made a joke about cell phones not working around people of color, its not included in this video

  • Tore that shouting guy up! Excellent work!

  • Oh fuck, I'm in tears. xD

    I haven't heard this bit in over 2 months.

  • I love how Patton doesn't handle it by immediately saying, "Hey, asshole, you ruined it, STFU", he manages it with humour, finishes the bit, and let's us all know, "This performance is NOT ABOUT YOU, you pathetic attention-seeker."

  • good job leaving 4 and a half minutes of fucking silence at the end so we can all have the chance to watch your shitty slide show without getting distracted by something funny...

  • ahahahaha

  • I liked that 4 minutes.

  • "I was trying to protect everybody by yelling. I thought I would scream and make a weird chicken noise and scare the rape goblins away."

    So perfect.

    Indeed, it was a rooster noise.

  • Ah, yes. Well, welcome to Youtube...where the things you don't agree with can literally be phased out of existence! Last thing we need is tolerance and differing opinions.

  • Lul, remove the stick(s) from your ass.

    O.O

  • I think it was all just very uncalled-for, I guess. Probably the first time in his life someone "ruined his moment" and he didn't really know how to handle it, aside from accusing the person of being the world's biggest douche/failure. Hardly the way for a 36-year-old to be behaving, having a (well-worded) little hissy fit.

  • Oh, he knew how to handle it.

    I seriously doubt he's never dealt with a heckler before.

    The whole basis of Patton's genre of comedy is that he greatly exaggerates certain parts/stories in his act.

    It was completely called for and completely hilarious.

    That isn't comparable to a "hissy fit" in my book.

    I think YOU should grow up and learn how to take a fucking joke; it's improv standup, for bob sake.

  • You are completely allowed to have a problem with it.

    And I'm also allowed to think you have a pole up your ass.

    I didn't order you to think it's hilarious.

    Also, yes, it's a joke. Even if Patton means it, it's very funny. Why get so butthurt over it?

    The guy opened is trap and let out a weird rooster noise, and so Patton can make fun of it all he wants-- he didn't kill anyone, lol.

  • 1 pole is right

  • I have to agree with you wholeheartedly, DenofVipers got it wrong. Patton handled this extremely well and I'm glad he tore this guy a new like 4 a-holes. It was especially funny about the part with the necromancers and now all my friends call each other douche nozzles.

  • Haha totally.

    Right on.

  • So, what you're saying is that you were the guy he was tearing in to? That is funny.

  • I love getting emails every 2 months reminding me of some horrible youtube sin I've apparently committed. Disagreeing with people on youtube is it's own cross to bear, it would seem.

  • Knock off the martyr crap. I read every single comment you posted and I couldn't figure out what the hell you were braying about. Some d-bag interrupts a performance and gets ripped in to. He deserved it. What I don't get is why it bothers you so much that the comedian rightfully came down on this guy.

  • Well, let us both just try to work past this then.

  • This was tame for a "tantrum". And besides, he's a person, not just a comedian. He trying to amuse himself as well as his audience. This guy gave him that opportunity and he took it.

  • Yep, youtube. Just keep proving my point. Nice of you to take the time to do each comment, too. Class act.

  • no u bro NO U!

  • (YouTube Sin Reminder)

  • While I'm at it, why does everyone on Youtube downgrade what they don't agree with? So other people can't see it?

  • I dig it

  • you might just be.

  • "fuck me for building a moment!"

    he's so fucking quick!

    "rape goblins"

    XD

    what a dumb douchebag!

  • the thing about costco is true, the Sunday crowd is always brutal, and its always like that, twenty five year olds with broods of failure, miserably chowing down on that American parenthood shit sandwich and grinning like they like it.

  • Hahahaha!! "Sweep the leg JOhnny!!"

  • I heard this bit in another place and that heckler really messed up the joke that Patton was trying to set up.

  • yeah, but Patton put that heckler in his place so hard it actually made Patton's show better!

  • "You're going to miss everything cool and die angry."

    Hit the nail right on the head, right thur.

  • Comment removed

  • what dose he mean when he say we went to planed parent hood and his cell phone didnt work???

  • its to hint at the fact the minorities need planed parent hood. the ppl laugh because he had a sections about cell phones.

  • @intheflesh851 It's a reference to an earlier joke on the CD, where, as a child a freinds parent told him that if he ever got a cell phone to not use it in a black or hispanic neighborhood, because they'll kill him and steal it, and that was the first time that he realized that adults could be full of shit. The whole album is brilliant, you should go and buy it.

  • @intheflesh851 naw man it's a inside joke, if you listened to his whole segment you'd have heard him say when he was younger his mom said don't use your cell in minority neighborhoods. Then when he grew up he went to a minority neighborhood and his cell actually stopped working. So it was a reference to that joke

  • You win.

  • @stickdudex Buy the album and then you'll know.

  • @beepmotherfuckerbeep are you stupid dude i posted that comment 10 months ago and someone told me already and i watched the special like a week after this jeez.

  • @stickdudex Sorry, I don't keep track of the activites of people I don't know and will never meet.

  • @stickdudex Pretty much what intheflesh851 said. It's explained right before this bit.

  • @stickdudex yeah, and sure you know now, that it refers to the bit before this one.

  • There wasn't a heckler, the guy was overexcited and shouted woo at the most retarded moment possible. "WOO! A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT!!" And was made fun of appropriately.

  • what happened to the sound?

  • lol he phucken MURDERED that heckler...

  • yea he should say anything he wants because I recently heard one of the you tube kids that do the videos like ALL the time do this joke where they're talking to Kim Jong Ill and they're going "please don't bomb the U.S. because I just got the hand of my video editing software," or something to that effect... so lay off the jokes that DON'T scare the crap out of people.

  • as much as I love him, I think he should be careful about saying Plan B kills a baby.. it doesn't. oh well.

    still hilarious <3

  • why should he? he shuld get to say any fuckin thing he wants and fuck anyone with delicate senabilities. that's right, fuck 'em..

  • fffFUCK em in their stupid overlysensitive asses lol...what happened to the last 5 minutes of this vid???

  • Not if you have his albums...

  • Its weird hearing him swear so much lol

  • I was aware of Patton as a standup before I knew he was in Ratatouille. So it was weird hearing him not swear in that.

  • rape goblins, lol

  • "You will pay a skinhead to kick your girlfreind in the stomach."

  • I love the pic of Patton and David Cross "boxing" :)

  • HAHA! Pixies reference!

  • lol "there is no way i'm not pregnant, u came in my brain!" haha frekin hilarious

  • if you really are that guy then you deserved it and probably liked it

    and it's Oswalt not Oswald retard

  • i love how you expect anyone to believe that.

  • wow I feel really stupid. I don't get the part where he says "so we went to Planned Parenthood... where my cell phone didnt work..." what did I miss?! haha I feel like an idiot. can someone please fill me in?

  • hey, he did a previous bit about his friend's mom telling him not to bring his cell phone in ethnic parts of town because "they'll know you're rich, and they'll kill you". so he followed up by saying his cell used to die on him in ethnic parts of town and referred to it as the "racist suburban mom" feature.

  • basically it was an extention of a joke to show that only minorities would be at planned parenthood.

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