Louis CK - Rape

[BSCHOPPER8787]

I JUST CAME IN THE ROOM AND MY FUCKING KID WAS WATCHING THIS FUCKING SHIT FUCK THIS MOTHER FUCKER HE THINKS HES SO FUNNY BUT HES JUST A RAPIST AND A PIECE OF SHIT SOMEONE SHOULD TAKE OUT THIS FUCKING JEW. HE SHOULD BE IN PRISON AND HE SHOULD GET RAPED BY NIGGER DICK ALL DAY

[ensteffo]

@BSCHOPPER8787 I realy hope you are just a troll. Kind of hard to belive someone that seems so incredible unintelligent, anti semitic and racist can have custody of a child. Your capslock also seem to be broken, or maybe you dont know what it is for :-).

[lespaul0550]

@ensteffo don't feed the trolls idiot

[ModeLTU]

His facial expressions are golden

[moonfarious]

its not rape if u like it u nomwhatimsayin?

[katec623]

@moonfarious no nobody knowswhatyousayin dumbass

[intrptr]

Hella funny... New George Carlin

[SirBenjamin88]

This is the most true thing I've ever heard a stand up comedian talk about. maybe that's why it's so hilarious

[Cavox]

bitchesandwhores.jpg

[OctavioRedding]

Frank Sinatra once saved my life. I was getting beaten up in a dark alley by a bunch of guys and he came along and said "that's enough."

[MattsMisc]

good thing i don't give up easy

[drippinblood28]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAA ^^ second comment above..lollll

[MusicLuvah23]

So this reminds me of me... xD

[informalcrabmeat]

haha I like how "Louis CK – Rape" is the first suggestion when you search him up on youtube

[rossmat707]

@informalcrabmeat That's how you know he has no fear as a comedian.

[Pumpkinhead77]

Just brilliant.

[sasquatch268]

How disappointing. I expected to see either Louis C.K. raping someone, or getting raped.

[WhispersNz]

Just suprise sex

[Jackstowne]

@WhispersNz Remember that the next time you get busted for rape and thrown in jail with the general population.

[WKaliberr]

Rape is funny

[MasterBandit101]

:clevergirl:

[an50331]

my lady friends told me most women are into rape fantasies, they just won't admit it

[cosmosechelon]

@an50331 Your lady friend is correct.

[MRWEDAWEST]

HAHA. This shit is SOFA KING true. This has happened to me AT LEAST 2x.

I had this chick at my pad.We start makin out on my couch.I take her to the bed.We're kissin.I'm feelin on her ass.She's got her hands down my pants.It's gettin good.Then she says "Stop.I don't wanna do this on the 1st date." I whisper "I don't believe you" in a sexy voice. She's like "What!!You don't believe me?" In a kinda shocked/mad/scared voice....

[MRWEDAWEST]

Then she says "No I'm serious.STOP!!".She puts her right arm up in front of her like a guard bar,with her elbow in my left shoulder & her right hand wrapped around my right elbow.She forcibly lifts & pushes me off her,hops up,starts fixing her clothes & tells me to take her home.I'm like "Cool..No problem..I know you're a nice,Christian girl" ;). And I take her home.I'm not trippin.I know I got this in the bad.Hell, I've got patience..

[MRWEDAWEST]

A week or two go by & I'm on my way from droppin my homeboy off at his house.I'm kinda close to her house so I give her a call & ask if she'd mind if I stop by.She's like "Sure". So I go over her house.She greets me with a long French kiss.We talk a little.She's tellin me about her day,her job,etc.Ya know.The usual girl shit.And I just listen.I'm not tryin to get somethin started at all.I'm actually just tryin to get to know her...

[MRWEDAWEST]

A few nights after that,SHE CALLS ME & MAKES A DATE WITH ME to go to some bar she really likes.So we make plans for Friday,after work. Friday comes & she just stands me up.Doesn't answer her phone that day or any other day for like 3 weeks.When I finally do get in contact with her,she's bein a bitch.She's like "What's up", in that frustrated,distant way.I'm like "I wanna come see you".She's like "Fooo (Frustrated air-blow).Ok.But I'm not DOIN nothin."....

[MRWEDAWEST]

I'm like "That's cool..I just wanted to see you." Then she says "Oh.Well hold on...You know what..I'm busy right now anyway so can you (NOT) call me back...." I'm like "Ok.I guess she's lost interest.Time to move on." I text her one more time after that to wish her a happy birthday about a month later.No response.That's the last time I tried to call.That was that...

[MRWEDAWEST]

About 2-3 years later,I get a call from my best friend. (Backstory: His ex-girlfriend is the girl's cousin). He's like "Hey man.I was just talkin to __ & __. I didn't know you went out with __.She told me she was tryin EVERYTHING to give you some pussy & you just wouldn't fuck her.What's wrong with you?" (And I know he's not lyin cuz I didn't tell anyone he knows about that whole situation.)

WHAT THE FUCK!!!

[MRWEDAWEST]

I looked her up on Facebook after that.She's got a toddler now.And from what I can tell from the family photos,the father's not around.It's really sad cuz I woulda liked to start a family with her (Ya know - Before she went & had a baby. I don't wanna be anyone's stepdad or 2nd baby daddy & do that whole "All of us" mixed family thing.) It woulda been beautiful.But unfortunately her "I want you" looks alot like "I'm about to start screaming for help."

[MRWEDAWEST]

MORAL OF THE STORY: Ladies.If you want a good man.STOP PLAYING GAMES & SENDING MIXED MESSAGES. A good man isn't gonna "Just go for it".You're gonna wind up raped,knocked up & left in the dust.It's kinda a package deal: 1)Take the pussy. 2) Get the fuck out Dodge. That's just how it goes.

[zonetoful]

@MRWEDAWEST riveting tale, chap

[MRWEDAWEST]

@zonetoful Is that sarcasm? I can't tell.

[bboyfirestorm]

@MRWEDAWEST couldnt have said it better

[ZachThePoet]

@MRWEDAWEST but why?

[MRWEDAWEST]

@ZachThePoet Why what?

[Saphire1359]

HAHAHAHAAHA YEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!! XXXXDDDDDDD

FUCK YEAH!!!

[blublast3]

21 people have been raped. I feel bad for those people, but comedy was meant be to laughed at soo..

HAHAHAHAHA i find this hilarious =D

[intenseExistance1466]

lol



[FlakeTillman]

^^^^^I used to worry about this all the time until one day I had a thought: Dead girls can't say no, so it isn't technically rape if you have sex with them. I walked down to the graveyard later that evening and exhumed one of the bodies......and thats how I met my wife of 15 years :-)

[DeliciousPoop]

@FlakeTillman you can do one better...... deaf mutes can't say no either............. AND they're still warm

[FlakeTillman]

@DeliciousPoop Deaf-Mutes can use sign language though....also corpses can get pretty warm with enough friction ;-)

[DeliciousPoop]

@FlakeTillman you can pretend you don't understand sign language (you probably don't anyway)

[FlakeTillman]

@DeliciousPoop Yeah but if she goes to court she'll probably speak through an interpreter...unless I cut her hands off first...I see your point.

[quietforests]

How could 21 people not laugh at this?

[ItzSlamDuncan]

Its not rape if you yell surprise.

[clevrj1]

@ItzSlamDuncan true story

[JamesParkersStuff]

This is sad, but true.

I actually know a girl like this. How the FUCK are you going to continue when she says no without it being rape? People don't know if you like that fucking shit.

[1234pixy1]

This guy is fucking hilarious!! ha!

[ludicer]

The other day, I helped some rape victims.....

.... Find their way out of my house.

[213HotShots]

I love how Louis' got every punchline on youtube! guy gets me.

[spittaTOOcold420]

Sounds like the waitress was trying to sue his ass!!!!!!!!

[videofreakmanic123]

I SWEAR IF I EVER MEET THIS FUCKING FRED FUCK I WILL FUCKING CUT HIS FACE OFF

[matthewdorstewitz]

Hahaha I love this guy.

[skullfuck13]

i had the exact thin happen to me... and one of my ex's wanted to play rape, it was fuckin weird, and didn't really work...

[OOPSitsALLBERRIES]

I get a rapey vibe from 20 people.

[Roxxi33]

Ugh Louis CK is demonstrating how to tell a joke about rape while not being offensive, and then there's all these fucking terrible rape jokes and rape-apologists in the comments section. Youtube disappoints once again.

[Reggis420]

@Roxxi33 LOL Taking the moral high ground over an internet comment page. Wow, welcome to the internet.

[5ilverhalo]

@Roxxi33 Don't make the mistake of letting Youtube comments dictate your opinion of people. They are the lowest of the low, bane of the internet, second only to 4-chan in terms of sheer depravity. Just enjoy this hilarious joke by Louis CK.

[heatbucspies55]

The thing is I can so imagine some girl actually saying that.

[MrBossman44]

I'm a rapist and I approve of Louis CK

[amird128]

ONE OF THE FUNNIEST MEN OF ALL TIME

[GreatestCommentEver]

I saved a girl from getting raped the other day...

I just quit chasing her.

[rasmus9311]

@GreatestCommentEver Dude she totally wanted it! ahh well you missed that chance.

[C05597641]

Girls always do this. If they say no playfully it means yes. If they sound angry stop.

[CarnifaxMachine]

"WHAT'RE YOU OUTTA YOUR FUCKIN' MIND?!"

[extremesowhat]

im getting a rapey vibe lol

[sonykroket]

It's not rape if you yell: "Surprise...!!!"

[thesniffysniffy]

hahaha lots of girls are like this. they play hard to get and then they're like "gosh why didn't he just read my mind and sexually assault me like i wanted him to"

[MrRcheulishvili]

@thesniffysniffy and after that if u don't do things the way they say, she has a big card against u: "u raped me!" :| had really bad exp

[TheRushingWind]

@MrRcheulishvili so did she. You raped her. Grow a pair and admit it and get therapy so you don't do it again

[TheRushingWind]

@thesniffysniffy that's bullshit to try to justify the perverts who do sexually assault and rape women

[derdriui]

@thesniffysniffy no... that's not true. sexual assault is sexual assault.

[lostcauze88]

@sweetuth99

thank the liberals my friend

[ThirdRAILKink]

@lostcauze88

You're an idiot and so is the guy you're responding too.

[lil4liam]

best way to avoid being raped?

Enjoy it! ...If its fun, it aint rape!

[GirlieRat]

Give me a break people! This is not a rape joke. It's a joke about a woman wanting rough sex and a guy who was too afraid to give it to her. Geez! People hear the word "rape" and completely ignore the context it was used in. Pay attention and stop crying foul for everything. You are the ones doing more of a disservice to actual rape victims by making people not want to hear anything you have to say about it because they think you're gonna pull stupidity like this out of your arses. Pipe down!

[Roxxi33]

@GirlieRat I agree completely, but I wouldn't say he was afraid to give it to her - he was being a decent human being and NOT raping her.

[ShimmyNS]

@GirlieRat ok, this video is just 1:42 long, now go see it again from 0:00 . This is not about rough sex, or some1 being afraid to give it. this is not about forcing to sex either. Its about all women that expect a guy to know what she wonts, or what she's in to, without actually telling him what she wonts.Like men just wont to fuck, anyway is good(unless you wont to fuck with our brains, which you do a lot), but women are all in to different things...he said he would fuck her if she told him so

[5ilverhalo]

@GirlieRat I get what you're saying, but it's pretty risky to just "go for it" with a stranger, don't you think? If you know 100% that the girl just wants rough sex, then great, go for it. But if there's any ambiguity at all (i.e. she's saying the opposite), how are you to prove that you "knew" what you really wanted? What if you were wrong?

[GirlieRat]

@5ilverhalo I know that. My post didn't say whether it was right or wrong, I was explaining the point of the joke. So I don't really understand your reply.

[iamafukingtwatful]

There's no such thing as rape, just SURPRISE SEX. "SURPRISE!"

[turnipmermaid]

"Your honor, I was getting a rapey vibe. I was pretty sure she was into that shit."

[iamafukingtwatful]

@turnipmermaid LMFAO!

[bjj234]

HAHAHHA



[jemdude22]

Wahahahaha.... lol

[formis1122]

i love this guy so much

[OCole07]

I like this guy more and more.

[hilelmos]

crazy chick ^^

[GWiggles69]

"What's the worst that could happen, after all?"

[yermomsboxx]

Wow, ads on a portion of a comedy special that in no way belongs to you? Sounds perfectly legal to me...

[xsporian]

Rape is just suprise sex!

[cquackaz]

dammit now i gotta find mavriksfan11's comment.

[nillychoirpop]

ha

[haik93]

Funny how my current gf is like this

[heyocanada]

this shit's true. 

[Marc2513]

Wanna play a game of rape?!

NO!

That's the spirit!

[Shinn18]

@Marc2513 lol wth

[MFCirca]

@Marc2513 fetlifer?

[ShemTheSham]

Dear God, I've never heard of this guy before but this shit is grade A. Seriously, this is quality shit. His skit on being white was the best on the topic of race I've ever heard. He's so consistent, it's like bang/hilarious/bang/hilarious the whole fucken time! I love it! I'm officially a fan of Louis CK.

[twistfinger]

@ShemTheSham Yes sir. He is the man. And now you have a treasure trove of stuff to find. He's got like 3 DVDs. :D

[ham645]

Rape ftw

[2000nissansilvia]

rape jokes arent funny at all.

[CoolerKing37]

@2000nissansilvia FUCK YOU! I think they're hilarious!

[2000nissansilvia]

@CoolerKing37 That's because you are a stupic cunt, if you knew somebody who got raped you might not think it was so funny... then again who knows you probably are a rapist since think it is funny you dick!

[Scoat]

@2000nissansilvia Did you not watch the clip or something? He's not in any way condoning rape, if anything, he's saying how fucked up it is, but saying it in a funny way. Grow a sense of humour.

[2000nissansilvia]

@Scoat There is a difference between not having a sense of humor(which I do) and making a joke out of rape some things just aren't funny, and I am sure you'd feel the same way if you know that somebody you care about got raped like I do. So I apologize if it comes across like I'm an asshole.

[sonykroket]

@2000nissansilvia

You come across as an asshole

[aciddent]

youtube commercials can suck my dick and get raped by me.

[EmRebJac]

I'm into that shit.

[hcook47]

Rape is not a laughing matter........unless you're raping a clown!

[lukeisareilly]

American stand up comedians aren't very funny, especially when they try to be dark or edgy

[CoolerKing37]

@lukeisareilly Wrong.

[ChillPenguin2]

@lukeisareilly Well, that's just like, you opinion, man.

[lukeisareilly]

@ChillPenguin2 Ugh, if you're so desperate for everyone to know you go on 4chan as if that makes you part of some super secret club at least have the decency to use a meme that isn't like 5 years old.

Hipster...

[HeilTurner]

@lukeisareilly

You're a fucking idiot if you think 4chan made up that line.

[lukeisareilly]

@HeilTurner Well 4chan obviously didn't make up the line, it was made into a meme by a similar crowd, it's obviously a parody of American vacuousness.

[HeilTurner]

@lukeisareilly

No it's actually a line from The Big Lebowski. It's a fucking movie reference, it's not parodying shit.

[emolingling101]

@lukeisareilly lol, what?

[joshua2443]

@lukeisareilly Usually agree, but Louis CK is one of the few I can cope with. (and the only one alive)

[illegalleopard88]

@lukeisareilly ..........So what's the difference between American and non American comedians that make them so funny, ol' buddy ol' pal??

[lukeisareilly]

@illegalleopard88 Cultural references mostly

[illegalleopard88]

@lukeisareilly Well then, it's mostly half and half because only about half of the comedians on this planet use cultural references in their acts.

[MrCm1515]

@lukeisareilly Go cry in a corner about it

[jomckellan]

If you dress like a slut, people will treat you like a slut.

[fnuttskallen]

@jomckellan Define "dress like a slut" please!

[eregan87]

@uupiinarms Oh I suppose because this one screwed up girl he met represents all women right? Wrong. He's laughing at the idea that you could assume it's ok to rape a girl cos she's slutty. He's a freakin' slut-talker. If you can't see that you don't get the "slub walk" shit!

[AaronMatthewEvans]

Rape jokes aren't funny, unless they're forced on you.

[simonjeste]

@AaronMatthewEvans sometimes they're not so painfully unfunny if you've had a few beers first, so you're properly lubricated.

[evilsean1]

I know a few women like this. I feel like throwing them out of my car in the bad part of town with no clothes on when that shit happens. Fuckers will probably enjoy it. T_T

[boombah5XBL]

the 15 people who disliked this got rapped

[WoWjunkie5]

@boombah5XBL is that worse then being raped?

[boombah5XBL]

@WoWjunkie5 what do you mean

[GunerzPGBC]

Thanks you prick, now I'm going to jail for rape....

[bezlanoi92]

you think I'm just gonna rape you on the off chance that hopefully you're into that shit

[ImStuckOnATrain]

@bezlanoi92 this is not cool. I hope this gets flagged or not voted up. No one likes there video voted up for some douche to have so imaginary thumbs up.

[bezlanoi92]

@ImStuckOnATrain I think you need to fix your sentence a bit, couldn't understand it

[oblivionthoughts]

my rapey vibes are tingling on this girl

[MrEuclid818]

My favorite comedian. Of all time. Ever. No questions asked. No comparisons necessary.

[Vaizorg]

My favorite rape joke a la Jimmy Carr: Let's not turn this rape into a murder.

[Swingfinger]

best comedian ever

[bustub2]

That's how I met my wife!!!

[thespec64]

@bustub2 you raped her?? or did you tell her she was probably nuts?? I think they both work.

[megabrowser17]

@bustub2 What the fuck were you thinking when marrying her then?! The second she files a divorce you'll also get rape charges for every single time you've had sex with her!

[mavriksfan11]

The funny thing about this is you know he made it all up because who the hell would fuck Louis CK?

[BLAHisBACK]

@mavriksfan11 I would. Your post is invalid.

[TheAtomic1234321]

@mavriksfan11 thats mean

[exigentrevolution]

@mavriksfan11 I would. 

[velvetkissesxoxox]

@mavriksfan11 hey hes cute id fuck him

[captaincough]

Instant favorite.

[TheXell]

The fucked up thing about rape is that its a metaphysical concept.

Its not exclusive to a certain situation or confined to a specific form.

Rape is only rape if someone FEELS raped and has no control over the act.

That means that even incredibly violent and rough sex can be consensual, but rape can happen without violence, in fact most of the legal cases about rape include the use of drugs or are about statutory rape.

[dedpxl]

@TheXell

which makes it ironic that he called it rape, hence the humor.

[cbaldwinjr]

@TheXell

It's not fucked up, its the truth. There is no one set form of sexual pleasure. A person has the right to decide what they want and not want to do. Period. So if you've got that woman who likes being choked and pounded like cube steak with a mallet...fine and dandy. And if you've got that woman that's so prudish she won't even have sex with the lights on or get undressed...fine and dandy. But anything done against a person's will is rape.

[elfieblue]

what, the FUCK is with the 15 min ad about the fucking apocalypse?!?

[wpulhamus]

This has happened to me several times. Big turn off. The last time I just grabbed my jacket and told the bitch that I wanted no part of her sick fucked in the head basketcase fantasy and that she needs jesus. I don't believe in god or jesus or any of that noise...but that bitch needs jesus.

[antipryzm]

@wpulhamus

and then you woke up

[lita4sm]

I wonder if this was Rihanna

[jameswilliam74]

I_RAPE_CATS

[emerson24]

Louis CK has this gift to be able to joke about stuff like child abuse, rape, all this stuff that in a PC world would rub people quickly the wrong way. But he's genius in his approach. And it's nice to have someone bring "the line of humor" back to the other side a little bit.

[Channnnel420]

Rape, also known as surprise sex, is an extreme sport described as "the act of pwning with a penis.

[MeredithOD]

@Channnnel420 you're an idiot. no wonder you have to resort to rape to get laid. Loser.

[Channnnel420]

@MeredithOD wtf????

[Boazisi]

@MeredithOD

You're obviously a women with damaged goods baggage who can't appreciate a sarcastic hoke

[TheArfdog]

@MeredithOD Uh what's wrong with rape as a means to get laid? Works for me so far.

[BorniRich]

@Channnnel420 funniest fucking comment i ever read!! thank you for that

[kgonepostl]

This video saved my sanity.

[kgonepostl]

This whole skit happened to me last night. I kinda knew she wanted me to fuck her but like the title says I didn't want a big fuckin rape charge on my record. HUUURRRAY for still being a virgin!!!!! Fml

[joeanddianna]

OMG first off...I am female...and I am on the internet...yes, it's true, like a unicorn....and second...that was some funny shit! LOL

I don't know what she was thinking...she should have been more clear...;)~

[smsteve888]

@joeanddianna ZOMG A GIRL ON THE INTERNET XD R U HAWT LOLZ CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE # XDXDXDXD

[Danno1850]

this has honestly happened to me more then once..... i just rape everyone now just in case :D

[BorniRich]

@Danno1850 better safe than sorry!