@idranktheseawater Ok :) no, I havent seen a doctor, I will setup an appointment with some pro who can advise me possibly. But I still believe It will be best for me, to sort that up myself. And I believe its in my power to do so, hopefuly. Thanks for a reply, I will delete my 1st post because some ppl who I know in RL could see it and realise its from me (they know my nick), and I dont want that. Peace. hope you doing well :)
Im very upset when I talk to my fam members, I expect myself to die and dont see myself living for too many years (29now). Sometimes I feel Im separated and nobody is able to get to me, because Im in my head. So one can stand 10 cm from, even hug me and he still cant reachme, so I sometimes have realizations Im the only one on the world. Sometimes I say to myself: "im fucked up" and such things, I thaught about methods of suicide so I dont hurt the ppl who will miss me, but I dont wanna do it.
I cut myself and i want to die. I'm thinking about suicide and dying every day sometimes I'm planning when and how i will kill myself. am i suicidal?.
@idranktheseawater well. em. my mom found me a therapist. its just. my mood changing so fast. its like two me. one is a good one that trying to end all that bad stuff that is happening in my head. Another one doesn't want to get better and thinking differently. I'm even scared of mysel. How people say "monsters is not under your bed or your closet anymore, they in your head." Creepy stuff.
They have to do that to keep a record that you were being watched. People have gone from just standing there looking out their room window, next second they may be trying to hang themselves. Self injury isn't good, it's bad and people who do so are extremely more likely to commit suicide than those who don't. It's extremely abnormal, humans are the only race who do so as well. Nurses are there to protect you, so are the guards, they arn't doing the stuff they do because they are weird.
@bubbles1x your fucked in the head. you want to put yourself in hospital? fucking drag on society you lot are. why go to hospital why not finish the job?
@godlovesallah My, what a friendly little thing you are! What else do you do for fun besides kicking people when they're down? If there's anything that's a 'drag' on society it's heartless ignorance passing itself off as practical realism. If you really knew what it was like to feel like there was no way out, you'd think twice before spouting off in such a hateful way.
The part that sux is that when you try to get your life together and get a job and be a part of society, life becomes too much and you have to force yourself to stay out of the hosp or you might lose your job and you are then back at square one.... i hate it
my parents dont know half the shit i do to myself and my mother wouldn't care either no one knows except the counselor and i am 11 yrs old if you have any advice to help me stop please do tell
@idranktheseawater can u suggest any methods how to calm down I am on antidepressant but I had major depression when I tried to quit it. I hope no one has to go through with what I went through. It is awful sometimes i feel like I am surroinded by a big wall and I cannot see past that wall. My car broke last week and I fell apart and we do have 2 cars. I am going nuts I need help
@idranktheseawater I tried drinking cold milk and eating dark chocolate (endorphin I believe ) but not breathing mine is more like I am constantly depressed anyway psychiatrist is supposed call me for an appointment in the mean time cipralex seems like working alittle. If you know any other ways to calm down let me know thanks for the help i will try breathing. You are beautiful please do not hurt yourself and I am saying this to make u feel better
@idranktheseawater thank you i have done it so much it doesn't even hurt anymore and my brother commited suicide and i was hoping to meet up with him soon but i guess that can wait now...
excuse me i feel sheepish for asking this but one of my buddys told me that they have had suisidal thoughts for a longtime and they cut. so he wants to know how to tell his parents that hes having these thoughts and feeling and actions. so how do you do it?
You think you can be so disrespectful and then turn around and ask me a question like nothing happened?
He could tell them that he has something important to tell them. Sit down with them and say what has been going on and why. Say that they can ask questions if they have any.
If he doesnt have the courage to confront them about it, say he can write them a letter explaining everything.
@idranktheseawater IM SO SRRY I DIDNT MEAN ANY DISREASPECT AT ALL. what whatd i do? if i said anything offisive i didnt mean it in a bad way at all. i swear i didnt. let me check my comments and see what i said. i share this account with another person sometimes.
there are different pains all over the world, that doesnt make mine any less valid.
Do you really think its okay to disrespect me by calling me a pussy just because I cut myself? By your logic, you have never cried a day in your life because children are dying in Africa?
@TheFundRaiserBeats Depression is a Disease just like AIDS...its not a choice to be depressed and wanting to cut yourself...you obviously haven't been there
@TheFundRaiserBeats I think about suicide everyday so don't think just having shit means anything. If material things keep you happy then good for you but some of us need something else to keep us going. People who cut them selves do it as a way of dealing with emotional pain so know your shit before you insult people you prick.
@CrimesonWitcher very true...u can have the world, but its lost without love,compasion and understanding from others...i hate it when people call me crazy for doing it or thy say i want attention, it goes deeper than that...
I feel like im a big disappointment to my parents :s cause every time thy ask if i cut i say no but i really have and i know they probably are starting to read my texts.. That hospital place is starting to look bit good now.. Ill end up there fo sure:/ eep.
@tiboot4c Sometimes mental hospitals help, sometimes they don't. They put me in group therapy and I have HORRIBLE social anxiety, so that didn't help me at all. I just pretended I was better so I could get the hell out of there. Everyone there was either schizophrenic or had super bad anger issues. They all had really bad attitudes, too.
Those of you who need someone, check out my youtube or this facebook page facebook.com/pages/Anonymous-Life-Advice/270293856346803
I will always be here, and if its extremely bad will give you my cell to contact me in the middle of night, no one will ever be alone as long as i still breath
Just check it out help me get this around so those who need someone find someone
I am a big TWLOHA Supporter it is an amazing program
The first time I went into the hospital I was in the ER for over 12 hours and then they transferred me to a psych hospital by ambulance. There I had to stay downstairs in iso with a tinted window and the door two inches open without a window so I couldn't see outside. The room gave me major anxiety attacks because it was so small. They made me drink water and get drug tested but I couldn't go to the bathroom more than once in an hour and I couldn't leave the room at all. After 7 hours in the is
I did, cut. for a long time, because of a lot of reasons.. 3 years later my mom saw them, and said she's going to find a place for me to go to rehab.. my mom checks my wrists everyday, but silly mommy.. I still have my tummy!
It is so different over there to here. Here, you can go to A&E for SH and perhaps see a member of the Crisis Team, but they ALWAYS send you home, unless you are actively suicidal and intending on killing yourself that day/night, lol.
I fucking hate hospitals. I was stuck in one for 3 weeks. And I couldn't cut at all. So during that bullshit group crap I excused myself to go the bathroom and beat myself in the face till I bled from the mouth. Now I say fuck all that damn bullshit cause I just smoke instead and my parents dgaf.
Im 13 and I cut , because my parents are alcoholics.
One time they saw my scars on my wrists but only ingnored that thing. But however even i dont wanna speak about that thing with my parents, maybe someone else.
And I think they do know that im a cutter because of them ,but they decided choose alcohol instead of me (and my sisters).
And i have lot of youngers sisters who I have to take care of.
So if your parents are not alcoholic , Damn u are lucky one.
@UpGrAdEaDeD Keep taking care of you're younger siblings. You ARE doing the right thing.If you have parents that are making the wrong choices,then at least they can rely on you.! Forget this whole "cutting" thing.You will get nowhere with it and your sisters will suffer from the loss of you.I know it's a big burden for you,but the're are times when someone(like you) simply has to step up and do the right thing.This vid is kinda old,but I hope youre hanging in there!!
Okay, I cut. Pretty much every night with a razor blade. I've had suicidal thoughts but I'm too chicken shit to act on them so I just cut. I don't know if going to the hospital would be good for me though because of school. I don't know what people would say or what my parents would say about my decision to go to the hospital, they think I've stopped. Any advice?
@ibebutterfly, its better to be honest with your family about your addiction. You may fall behind in school, but you need to nip this problem in the bud. I'm sure your family would rather have you around then be embarrased by your actions.
man it sucked when i went to the hospital 4 self harm cause the doctors were talking abt it behind my back and they told me that they were ashamed of me and i didnt even no who the hell they were they kept saying self harm gets u no where it made me feel even more pain inside i thought that they were total bitches
I tried hanging myself the other day, i felt myself let go and i was actually ready, but then something intervined. I self harm especially when i think for too long about how bad life is, i've slit my wrists too, but i eventually shouted for someone to help, i recently googled Self harm and depression, i have nearly every symptom they describe, i want help but my familys not so confident in doctors, after my fail hanging i hit a wall broke a finger and sprained my wrist, i couldnt go to a docto
@SuperZombiesAreGone no it isnt have true expirience with it have it become your drug your antidepressent then tell me how easy it is its the only anti depressent its the only way to affect youre dopemine when u get addicted
My parents don't know that I self harm. But I want to get help for it. Is there anything I can do to get help without them knowing. I don't want to tell them because i don't know if they will be supportive of it and I'm too scared to find out. I'm only 14 by the way. Please help!?!
If you go, do you have to do therapy with a psychiatrist or is it in groups? Do they give you medication? And do they take away things that you could harm/kill yourself with like shoe laces? Also are your parents able to see you?
They offer you therapy and meds, but you dont have to take them if you dont want.
They usually allow visitors, but under some circumstances, like if you are hurting yourself and not cooperating, they can restrict visits for a short time.
My mum admitted me to counselling, I've harmed since I was 6 and I'm now 13 I went to the doctor, and she referred me to CAHMs which is the child and adolescence mental health services, between the doctor and CAHMs I harmed and up until now I've still harmed, they said it would take a while before they'd be able to get my next appointment but the butterfly project is helping me alot, I don't know if they have CAHMs where you live but it's help tons of people then again you were an adult when yo
hey I got a question and I really really hope one of you could answer it...you said in your video that the doctor said: do you really they're gonna let you out of here? but how old were you then? because..imagine you are like 25 (im 17 btw) and you're in that hospital then they cant let you stay if you dnt want..right??? thanks.
@powkrt I don't know about your area, but most places can put you on a 72 hour hold if they believe you are a danger to yourself or others, even if you're 18 or older. So you can try to sign out against medical advice, but if they think you're still unsafe, they'll keep you against your will for those 3 days, and then reevaluate.
How do you like admit yourself into the hospital for that? And like how old do you have to be??? I'd like to get some help... Would I have to like tell my parent and everybody about it?!?!? UGHH... :O
I went to a lot of those hospitals. I have to admit, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. :D It didn't help me with my cutting and depression problem, but it had good food and funny ass people!
My sister had to go to a mental hospital.. For depression... I wasn't allowed to visit her because they had a age limit... It was scary DX she went to three rivers I think it was
@idranktheseawater I wanted to say thanks. I also SI. Posting these videos would be hard for me. I wonder all the time if I will ever stop. It gets tough. Im in my mid twenties and I can't even picture what life would be like without SI. I wish I could... but thanks.
i was in the middle of school and the s.o. officer and he took me to the hospital after that i went 6 times for cutting and i was treated like a fucking mental person! I had to stay there the first time i stayed for 3 days and i missed school but i had a excuse so...when i got back my friends were there to help and greet me each time i came back! I stopped because i realized the friends i had but now its summer and i hate my life so i cut help me give advice to stop! I BEG YOU...
I cut. About a month ago I told a teacher and she sent me to a counselor who I only saw once. I told the teacher coz I wanted to stop cutting. I've been thinking about cutting all this weekend and I thought that if I only saw the counselor once then it can't be a bad thing to do or even that important. It is the thing that makes me better, who cares about the scars and so what if I cut deeper than I intend? I can't understand why I wanted to stop cutting in the first place.
@whatevertitle how come you only saw a counselor 1 time? i told my head of year in my school about my cutting issue and i have had counsling for around 11 months now once a week. cutting isnt a wonderfull thing to do, yes it helps people to cope with things but its not ideal, there are other things to do to get around the urge, i have a video on my channel about things you can do to stop your self from s.i i would check it out. please try to get more counsling it helps alot :) xx
I was trying to get help to stop only a few days now, I've really been thinking about it a lot this weekend. About a month ago I told a teacher at my skol that i was cutting and she sent me to the skol counselor. I only saw her once tho so now I think that it can't be a bad thing to do, or even that important. Who cares about my scars and if I cut deeper than I intended, so what, it will take a tiny bit longer to heal. Now I can't understand why I wanted to stop when it is the thing that makes
i was forced to go to the "mental" unit in 2 hospitals. it was terrible and traumatizing. i lived there for 3 and a half months, since i came out i'd turned to drugs and worse SI. im so young and have already delt with so much. i despise the hospital for how they made me feel. its disgusting.
You're beautiful and so strong for telling the world this. I'll definitely think of how brave you are next time I feel the urge to SI. Thank you :) <3 <3 <3
hey melissa ive been struggling so bad with cutting ive been told if i dont get better il go to a permenant hospital wat should i do i cant just up and quit and do u got a cell phone
so how are you doing now? this is the first video of yours i've ever seen, and i wanted to know if you are doing ok now or you are stil struggling with this? I used tub a cutter myself... greetings from Argentina...
@idranktheseawater Oh well... I hope you could somehow feel better by doing this videos... by expressing you experiences... I could feel better by writting... I'm not as brave as you are to make videos and upload them in youtube hahaha... anyways I trully hope you get well!
@IDrankTheSeaWater I SI as well. What is the point if the hospital stay? Why do you have to go? What does it accomplish? Is it just being under guard so you can learn to deal with the urge without cutting? Please help me understand. I may go.
ok,the 'guards r mental health techs i e just people..lol...the 15 minutes checks are done on everybody and yes if you are on 1 on1 meaning someone stays with you at al times at arms length ,it is for your own safety.I had a roommate who tried to hang himself and I found him and it was not fun...The psych hospital is to keep you safe period......Great vidieos and I do wish you conitued recorevy and thank you for being so brave to put yourself out here...people need to know the reality...
the only bad thing about telling them that youre having urges or something iz that they'll keep you longer and at the psychatric hospital i was at they would take you down a level and if your off restriction they'll put you back on. i hated it there but i agree it was helpful in a way but ive been there 5 times and it works a littlle each time but something ends up happening and it makes me forget everything i learned the previous time i was there and it sucks
@IndigoCat17 glad ur life is so perfect that u have no COMPASSION for anyone else.... why would someone watch a video that is on a subject the they think is retarted... ovbiously u need to look in the mirror...
i had to go to a&e for the first time two days ago. it was about 1:30am and there was only one other person there, but i was left bleeding in the waiting room for two hours. it was so embarrassing sitting there covered in blood. the doctor didn't say a word to me. didn't ask me why i did it or anything. i thought i might be seen by a shrink, but nothing happened. they just stitched me up and sent me home.
@idranktheseawater I'm 13 and I S.I and my friend knows and so does one of my teachers (hilarious story) but who I actually wanted to know was my student counsellor but I don't know how to tell her because I don't have sessions with her by myself anymore and I'm afraid I'll break the trust and friendship between us (me and the s.c are good friends) also my other youth worker knows buy i really want my S.C to know. do you have any tips on how to tell her?
I understand its your mental problem of cutting yourself but why get others involved meaning if your just doing it at home by yourself and also covering your arms how did you end up in the hospital?Did you want to go through the whole hospital experience on purpose?Do you have health insurance or is the countries taxes paying for that also?Hurting yourself and killing yourself is a total different thing so don't think cutting yourself brings other people to sympathize for you because it doesn't.
@idranktheseawater Hey I totally understand.Sometimes you say things on the internet which normally you wouldn't.I apologize for being totally insensitive asshole and last night I had one too many glasses of bourbon and ass having a rough day at work.Peace and Love hope you get better.
Being a cutter, and being hospitalzed is the hardest thing i ha ve ever had to do!! I would find anyway to do so!! And i did, and my doctor had to count every cut on my arm, and he said i had 400 cuts on each arm!!! Then they had to put me on the fucking board!!!its whatevs tho! I just saw this video, and it made me think about that!
I just looked up for some help with cutting, because I made a promise &it's been so hard to keep that promise. You came up, and I've been watching your videos. From 2009, until 2010, your talking has improved [as is slower, and not as much stuttering and stammering.]!
I am a PCA at my local Hospital, the guard she was talking about. Recently I had a nervous breakdown myself. It was funny all the other PCA's that I trained had to watch me. It was cool cause I got to curse people out and get by with it.
i was in a psychiatric hospital once...it didn't help because they let me go before i was ready and i knew my mom would freak if i asked to stay longer
that's bullshit they kept you in the hospital i would be pissed...the way they treat children for self injury now adays only makes us want to do it more
@idranktheseawater i know but i just cant stop myself its way to hard i feel like people dont care about me and i dont feel loved its pain but what ev
@frootloop199 By law in the US, a hospital is supposed to help a person with issues that will harm them, so you can just go to the hospital and they should get you help :)
After this video I have really considered going to the hospital. But I do not know how to ask my parents about that! They have just recently found out I have been Self Harming and I am recently going to therapy. But do you have any idea how to like ask them?
Okay well I have been cutting for 3 years now. I have never had to get stitches luckily. But like going to the hospital is it really an option to get help?!
the bad thing for me is when i help people stop i strat again but i allw ways help if u now what i mean so iam stuck in the middle or fate and idn what to do iam sorry that iam telling this u i just fort u might ne#ow somethink i can do to help otheres like when people help me i want to do my bit
i remember when i went inpatient at this place it was not what i need. inpatient stuff can be really good, just try to avoid ending up in a place thats more for criminals/gang members than a place for aiding depression/anxiety stuff like that
umm i was in hospital like a adolesent unit i was ther for two months i was only 13 pretty stupid i know and give you credit for [posting these videois and wish i had the same amout of courage as you
umm i was in hospital like a adolesent unit i was ther for two months i was only 13 pretty fucked up i know i was under 24 watch for 2 days and was terrified i never left my room for the first week and didnt eat i hated it but i couldnt commit suiside but i did hurt myself sevral times while i was there and give you credit for [posting these videois and wish i had the same amout of courage as you
Its oficilly called one on one and ther are psych techs ,not guards.,remember your are ther because you are in emotional crises and all they want to do is help you...The rules may seem stupid ,there ther for a reason.....I found my room mate trying to hand himself and the tech was there in srcond to take care of him..My point , if you dont feel safe alone,the hospital is the place to go to be safe
Earlier this week my parents found out about the gashes on my wrist, and i was talking to my dad about it and, i was asking if i could go to the hospital (i still cut my thighs and legs, they don't know) and if its like anyting you discribed there's no way in hell am i going, >.> <.< i dont want somone to watch me pee ether!!
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HybOj 1 week ago
@HybOj
I dont know
Have you seen a doctor? They would better be able to diagnose.
Ive never experienced anything like that.
idranktheseawater 1 week ago
@idranktheseawater Ok :) no, I havent seen a doctor, I will setup an appointment with some pro who can advise me possibly. But I still believe It will be best for me, to sort that up myself. And I believe its in my power to do so, hopefuly. Thanks for a reply, I will delete my 1st post because some ppl who I know in RL could see it and realise its from me (they know my nick), and I dont want that. Peace. hope you doing well :)
HybOj 1 week ago
Im very upset when I talk to my fam members, I expect myself to die and dont see myself living for too many years (29now). Sometimes I feel Im separated and nobody is able to get to me, because Im in my head. So one can stand 10 cm from, even hug me and he still cant reachme, so I sometimes have realizations Im the only one on the world. Sometimes I say to myself: "im fucked up" and such things, I thaught about methods of suicide so I dont hurt the ppl who will miss me, but I dont wanna do it.
HybOj 1 week ago
I went threw a stage of severe depression also, I found that the best thing for depression is marajuana. It gives you a better outlook on life
DMTisTheKey1 1 week ago
I cut myself and i want to die. I'm thinking about suicide and dying every day sometimes I'm planning when and how i will kill myself. am i suicidal?.
MultiKatie1996 3 weeks ago
@MultiKatie1996
I would say that you are.
Do you have a help line that you can call?
idranktheseawater 3 weeks ago
@idranktheseawater well. em. my mom found me a therapist. its just. my mood changing so fast. its like two me. one is a good one that trying to end all that bad stuff that is happening in my head. Another one doesn't want to get better and thinking differently. I'm even scared of mysel. How people say "monsters is not under your bed or your closet anymore, they in your head." Creepy stuff.
MultiKatie1996 3 weeks ago
You are a brave person!
ConquerStress4Ever 1 month ago
Keep going strong, and it will turn out well for you.
ConquerStress4Ever 1 month ago
I would love to hear more stories if you have any more to share :D it's really interesting hearing about what happens in psych wards :3
Thesmartlet1 1 month ago
I burn too.. twinzes!..... wasent the best choice I live I A.Z hard to hide the burns in the summer! I am so fucking stupied!
savannahmusiclife 1 month ago
They have to do that to keep a record that you were being watched. People have gone from just standing there looking out their room window, next second they may be trying to hang themselves. Self injury isn't good, it's bad and people who do so are extremely more likely to commit suicide than those who don't. It's extremely abnormal, humans are the only race who do so as well. Nurses are there to protect you, so are the guards, they arn't doing the stuff they do because they are weird.
TheRealDelirium 1 month ago
If you're from Quebec, french is your native language, right?
kojinmalia 1 month ago
@kojinmalia
Both languages are native to me
idranktheseawater 4 weeks ago
Does it cost for treatment at a hospital? If so, how much? I need to do it. But I wanna do it over the summer and I don't want anyone to know...
bubbles1x 1 month ago
@bubbles1x
It depends on where you are
Where i am in Canada, its free
idranktheseawater 4 weeks ago
@bubbles1x your fucked in the head. you want to put yourself in hospital? fucking drag on society you lot are. why go to hospital why not finish the job?
godlovesallah 3 weeks ago
@godlovesallah My, what a friendly little thing you are! What else do you do for fun besides kicking people when they're down? If there's anything that's a 'drag' on society it's heartless ignorance passing itself off as practical realism. If you really knew what it was like to feel like there was no way out, you'd think twice before spouting off in such a hateful way.
juliano66 1 week ago
i am a cutter... nd my mom knows that i cutt.... but im afraid if she takes me 2 1 one of those hospitols.... wut do i do if im forced there????
izlilme123 1 month ago
@izlilme123
If you are forced there, make the best of it. Let them help you even if it scares you. It could be an opportunity for you.
idranktheseawater 1 month ago
The part that sux is that when you try to get your life together and get a job and be a part of society, life becomes too much and you have to force yourself to stay out of the hosp or you might lose your job and you are then back at square one.... i hate it
wanastopbeingemo 1 month ago
You're so cute. :)
N33rDow3ll1998 1 month ago
my parents dont know half the shit i do to myself and my mother wouldn't care either no one knows except the counselor and i am 11 yrs old if you have any advice to help me stop please do tell
a6lover100 2 months ago
@a6lover100
I have a playlist with the vids I made for avoiding SI on my page
idranktheseawater 2 months ago
@idranktheseawater can u suggest any methods how to calm down I am on antidepressant but I had major depression when I tried to quit it. I hope no one has to go through with what I went through. It is awful sometimes i feel like I am surroinded by a big wall and I cannot see past that wall. My car broke last week and I fell apart and we do have 2 cars. I am going nuts I need help
sarahata22 1 month ago
@sarahata22
Have you tried breathing exercises?
idranktheseawater 1 month ago
@idranktheseawater I tried drinking cold milk and eating dark chocolate (endorphin I believe ) but not breathing mine is more like I am constantly depressed anyway psychiatrist is supposed call me for an appointment in the mean time cipralex seems like working alittle. If you know any other ways to calm down let me know thanks for the help i will try breathing. You are beautiful please do not hurt yourself and I am saying this to make u feel better
sarahata22 1 month ago
@idranktheseawater thank you i have done it so much it doesn't even hurt anymore and my brother commited suicide and i was hoping to meet up with him soon but i guess that can wait now...
a6lover100 1 month ago
@a6lover100 hey message me i can i help
dreamsgoneby 1 month ago
@idranktheseawater how can you recover from breaking your neck and almost dying ( the worries of having it happen again)
D3athW8s4N01 2 months ago
@D3athW8s4N01
I wish I had the answer....
idranktheseawater 2 months ago
@idranktheseawater thank anyway you really nice for at least replying with your honest thought
D3athW8s4N01 2 months ago
excuse me i feel sheepish for asking this but one of my buddys told me that they have had suisidal thoughts for a longtime and they cut. so he wants to know how to tell his parents that hes having these thoughts and feeling and actions. so how do you do it?
FunnyLittleRedHead 2 months ago
@FunnyLittleRedHead
You think you can be so disrespectful and then turn around and ask me a question like nothing happened?
He could tell them that he has something important to tell them. Sit down with them and say what has been going on and why. Say that they can ask questions if they have any.
If he doesnt have the courage to confront them about it, say he can write them a letter explaining everything.
idranktheseawater 2 months ago
@idranktheseawater IM SO SRRY I DIDNT MEAN ANY DISREASPECT AT ALL. what whatd i do? if i said anything offisive i didnt mean it in a bad way at all. i swear i didnt. let me check my comments and see what i said. i share this account with another person sometimes.
FunnyLittleRedHead 2 months ago
@FunnyLittleRedHead
This is what you said
People starving and living with AIDS in African countries and you're cutting yourself?
Look at what you have behind you, some people don't even live in a house, pussy.
idranktheseawater 2 months ago
@FunnyLittleRedHead
Oh no
I made a big mistake
I mistook your name for this other guy who posted something ugly
I was so sure you were the same person.
I apologies sincerely that I made you feel so bad.
idranktheseawater 2 months ago
@idranktheseawater its okay its all good. nice to know your not mad at me. i dont like it when people are made at me. :3
FunnyLittleRedHead 2 months ago
People starving and living with AIDS in African countries and you're cutting yourself?
Look at what you have behind you, some people don't even live in a house, pussy.
TheFundRaiserBeats 2 months ago
@TheFundRaiserBeats
I dont see how one has to do with another
there are different pains all over the world, that doesnt make mine any less valid.
Do you really think its okay to disrespect me by calling me a pussy just because I cut myself? By your logic, you have never cried a day in your life because children are dying in Africa?
idranktheseawater 2 months ago
@idranktheseawater
I think all those kids in Africa would do anything just to eat 3 meals a day.
There's nothing you can say.
Anyone who isn't living their life starving day by day and cuts themselves is just a pussy.
TheFundRaiserBeats 2 months ago
@TheFundRaiserBeats
Im not mad
You were very courteous
idranktheseawater 2 months ago
@TheFundRaiserBeats Depression is a Disease just like AIDS...its not a choice to be depressed and wanting to cut yourself...you obviously haven't been there
znimmo 2 months ago
@znimmo why do we catch that disease is that because of Ia brain mulfunction??
sarahata22 1 month ago
@TheFundRaiserBeats I think about suicide everyday so don't think just having shit means anything. If material things keep you happy then good for you but some of us need something else to keep us going. People who cut them selves do it as a way of dealing with emotional pain so know your shit before you insult people you prick.
CrimesonWitcher 2 months ago 5
@CrimesonWitcher very true...u can have the world, but its lost without love,compasion and understanding from others...i hate it when people call me crazy for doing it or thy say i want attention, it goes deeper than that...
goldengodess2249 1 day ago
@TheFundRaiserBeats shut up, idiot. You don't have to be a hungry, homeless, suffering kid in some underdeveloped country to be depressed.
nonameisftw 2 months ago
I feel like im a big disappointment to my parents :s cause every time thy ask if i cut i say no but i really have and i know they probably are starting to read my texts.. That hospital place is starting to look bit good now.. Ill end up there fo sure:/ eep.
tiboot4c 2 months ago
My parents want to send me tp a mental hospital or well... A hospital that helps people like cutrers like us. Im like scared out of my mind.
tiboot4c 2 months ago
@tiboot4c
Its only scary in the beginning
Once you get there and see how things work, its not so bad.
idranktheseawater 2 months ago
@tiboot4c Sometimes mental hospitals help, sometimes they don't. They put me in group therapy and I have HORRIBLE social anxiety, so that didn't help me at all. I just pretended I was better so I could get the hell out of there. Everyone there was either schizophrenic or had super bad anger issues. They all had really bad attitudes, too.
TheOn3LeftBehind 2 months ago
wow to me wouldnt it be better to have people around that love u thats all i want. i cut cuz no one loves me.
lauralittleglambert 2 months ago
Those of you who need someone, check out my youtube or this facebook page facebook.com/pages/Anonymous-Life-Advice/270293856346803
I will always be here, and if its extremely bad will give you my cell to contact me in the middle of night, no one will ever be alone as long as i still breath
Just check it out help me get this around so those who need someone find someone
I am a big TWLOHA Supporter it is an amazing program
To check that out go to twloha.com"
AnonymousLifeAdvice 2 months ago
The first time I went into the hospital I was in the ER for over 12 hours and then they transferred me to a psych hospital by ambulance. There I had to stay downstairs in iso with a tinted window and the door two inches open without a window so I couldn't see outside. The room gave me major anxiety attacks because it was so small. They made me drink water and get drug tested but I couldn't go to the bathroom more than once in an hour and I couldn't leave the room at all. After 7 hours in the is
SevStaceEm5 3 months ago
You are very brave...
LynzieLoveXD 3 months ago
Honestly, Not related to this video, I love your screen name....just saying.
ITACHI123gh 4 months ago
I did, cut. for a long time, because of a lot of reasons.. 3 years later my mom saw them, and said she's going to find a place for me to go to rehab.. my mom checks my wrists everyday, but silly mommy.. I still have my tummy!
ILYnevershoutnever19 4 months ago
It is so different over there to here. Here, you can go to A&E for SH and perhaps see a member of the Crisis Team, but they ALWAYS send you home, unless you are actively suicidal and intending on killing yourself that day/night, lol.
Ridiculous.
evilboob666 4 months ago
@ibebutterfly yeah its like that for me too but my parents dont know.some of my friends and my little brother know so i dont know what to do
emogirl1362 4 months ago
I fucking hate hospitals. I was stuck in one for 3 weeks. And I couldn't cut at all. So during that bullshit group crap I excused myself to go the bathroom and beat myself in the face till I bled from the mouth. Now I say fuck all that damn bullshit cause I just smoke instead and my parents dgaf.
powercrazy15 4 months ago
Im 13 and I cut , because my parents are alcoholics.
One time they saw my scars on my wrists but only ingnored that thing. But however even i dont wanna speak about that thing with my parents, maybe someone else.
And I think they do know that im a cutter because of them ,but they decided choose alcohol instead of me (and my sisters).
And i have lot of youngers sisters who I have to take care of.
So if your parents are not alcoholic , Damn u are lucky one.
UpGrAdEaDeD 4 months ago
@UpGrAdEaDeD Keep taking care of you're younger siblings. You ARE doing the right thing.If you have parents that are making the wrong choices,then at least they can rely on you.! Forget this whole "cutting" thing.You will get nowhere with it and your sisters will suffer from the loss of you.I know it's a big burden for you,but the're are times when someone(like you) simply has to step up and do the right thing.This vid is kinda old,but I hope youre hanging in there!!
da959 3 months ago
Okay, I cut. Pretty much every night with a razor blade. I've had suicidal thoughts but I'm too chicken shit to act on them so I just cut. I don't know if going to the hospital would be good for me though because of school. I don't know what people would say or what my parents would say about my decision to go to the hospital, they think I've stopped. Any advice?
ibebutterfly 4 months ago 2
@ibebutterfly
I think that telling your family is scary but a good decision. If they have been supportive of you in the past, they can be again for this.
idranktheseawater 4 months ago
@ibebutterfly, its better to be honest with your family about your addiction. You may fall behind in school, but you need to nip this problem in the bud. I'm sure your family would rather have you around then be embarrased by your actions.
steveskin1 4 months ago
man it sucked when i went to the hospital 4 self harm cause the doctors were talking abt it behind my back and they told me that they were ashamed of me and i didnt even no who the hell they were they kept saying self harm gets u no where it made me feel even more pain inside i thought that they were total bitches
punkjjawsomeness 4 months ago
you are sooo pretty! why do you hurt yerself?
gaduie 4 months ago
I tried hanging myself the other day, i felt myself let go and i was actually ready, but then something intervined. I self harm especially when i think for too long about how bad life is, i've slit my wrists too, but i eventually shouted for someone to help, i recently googled Self harm and depression, i have nearly every symptom they describe, i want help but my familys not so confident in doctors, after my fail hanging i hit a wall broke a finger and sprained my wrist, i couldnt go to a docto
lewisy09 4 months ago
ok all you got to do is stop cutting yourself its that easy
SuperZombiesAreGone 5 months ago
@SuperZombiesAreGone
Wow. You're a genius.
Why didnt I think of that.
idranktheseawater 5 months ago 42
@SuperZombiesAreGone Your a stupid ass. Its not that easy. Its an addiction. And its as addicting as drugs and alcohol.
ItsMeCassie27 5 months ago
@SuperZombiesAreGone no it isnt have true expirience with it have it become your drug your antidepressent then tell me how easy it is its the only anti depressent its the only way to affect youre dopemine when u get addicted
XXXGirFanXXX 3 months ago
My parents don't know that I self harm. But I want to get help for it. Is there anything I can do to get help without them knowing. I don't want to tell them because i don't know if they will be supportive of it and I'm too scared to find out. I'm only 14 by the way. Please help!?!
fliksayers 5 months ago
If you go, do you have to do therapy with a psychiatrist or is it in groups? Do they give you medication? And do they take away things that you could harm/kill yourself with like shoe laces? Also are your parents able to see you?
fliksayers 5 months ago
@fliksayers
They offer you therapy and meds, but you dont have to take them if you dont want.
They usually allow visitors, but under some circumstances, like if you are hurting yourself and not cooperating, they can restrict visits for a short time.
idranktheseawater 5 months ago
My mum admitted me to counselling, I've harmed since I was 6 and I'm now 13 I went to the doctor, and she referred me to CAHMs which is the child and adolescence mental health services, between the doctor and CAHMs I harmed and up until now I've still harmed, they said it would take a while before they'd be able to get my next appointment but the butterfly project is helping me alot, I don't know if they have CAHMs where you live but it's help tons of people then again you were an adult when yo
ugayboproductions 5 months ago
Cott?
Zyath 5 months ago
@idranktheseawater wow that really surprises me..I'd like to thank you for this video..really helps me!
powkrt 6 months ago
hey I got a question and I really really hope one of you could answer it...you said in your video that the doctor said: do you really they're gonna let you out of here? but how old were you then? because..imagine you are like 25 (im 17 btw) and you're in that hospital then they cant let you stay if you dnt want..right??? thanks.
powkrt 6 months ago
@powkrt
I was an adult
they can make me stay
idranktheseawater 6 months ago
@powkrt I don't know about your area, but most places can put you on a 72 hour hold if they believe you are a danger to yourself or others, even if you're 18 or older. So you can try to sign out against medical advice, but if they think you're still unsafe, they'll keep you against your will for those 3 days, and then reevaluate.
MandaT1980 4 months ago
How do you like admit yourself into the hospital for that? And like how old do you have to be??? I'd like to get some help... Would I have to like tell my parent and everybody about it?!?!? UGHH... :O
TheAmazingRMC 6 months ago
@TheAmazingRMC
For where I am, I just have to go to the ER and tell them am a danger to myself or that I already hurt myself.
I dont know about the ages. I never asked.
If you are under 18 I do believe your parents would know. (But im not 100% sure.)
idranktheseawater 6 months ago 7
can i talk to you
MsParakeetlover101 6 months ago
I went to a lot of those hospitals. I have to admit, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. :D It didn't help me with my cutting and depression problem, but it had good food and funny ass people!
EurynomuSlut 6 months ago
Your super pretty ^_^
XxXBVBArmyForeverXxX 7 months ago
Your beautiful and direct
Cr0wboi13 7 months ago
My sister had to go to a mental hospital.. For depression... I wasn't allowed to visit her because they had a age limit... It was scary DX she went to three rivers I think it was
lesbianbutterfly123 7 months ago
@idranktheseawater I wanted to say thanks. I also SI. Posting these videos would be hard for me. I wonder all the time if I will ever stop. It gets tough. Im in my mid twenties and I can't even picture what life would be like without SI. I wish I could... but thanks.
BritynCole 7 months ago
i was in the middle of school and the s.o. officer and he took me to the hospital after that i went 6 times for cutting and i was treated like a fucking mental person! I had to stay there the first time i stayed for 3 days and i missed school but i had a excuse so...when i got back my friends were there to help and greet me each time i came back! I stopped because i realized the friends i had but now its summer and i hate my life so i cut help me give advice to stop! I BEG YOU...
andysixlover789 7 months ago
I went to the hospital 3 times. Shit sucks. For fucking cutting the last time.
uKILLEDkenny442 7 months ago
yeah.. telling the truth is good.. WELL IS NOT GOOOD FOR ME!!! >=/
DevilBehideYou 7 months ago
I cut. About a month ago I told a teacher and she sent me to a counselor who I only saw once. I told the teacher coz I wanted to stop cutting. I've been thinking about cutting all this weekend and I thought that if I only saw the counselor once then it can't be a bad thing to do or even that important. It is the thing that makes me better, who cares about the scars and so what if I cut deeper than I intend? I can't understand why I wanted to stop cutting in the first place.
whatevertitle 7 months ago
@whatevertitle how come you only saw a counselor 1 time? i told my head of year in my school about my cutting issue and i have had counsling for around 11 months now once a week. cutting isnt a wonderfull thing to do, yes it helps people to cope with things but its not ideal, there are other things to do to get around the urge, i have a video on my channel about things you can do to stop your self from s.i i would check it out. please try to get more counsling it helps alot :) xx
midnightstarfright 7 months ago
I was trying to get help to stop only a few days now, I've really been thinking about it a lot this weekend. About a month ago I told a teacher at my skol that i was cutting and she sent me to the skol counselor. I only saw her once tho so now I think that it can't be a bad thing to do, or even that important. Who cares about my scars and if I cut deeper than I intended, so what, it will take a tiny bit longer to heal. Now I can't understand why I wanted to stop when it is the thing that makes
whatevertitle 7 months ago
i was forced to go to the "mental" unit in 2 hospitals. it was terrible and traumatizing. i lived there for 3 and a half months, since i came out i'd turned to drugs and worse SI. im so young and have already delt with so much. i despise the hospital for how they made me feel. its disgusting.
LostYourTime 7 months ago
You're beautiful and so strong for telling the world this. I'll definitely think of how brave you are next time I feel the urge to SI. Thank you :) <3 <3 <3
sabsandkate 8 months ago
What was the hospital you were? hospital in T-R?
Left4Fail 8 months ago
Do you still cut or did you go to the hospitak because you were planning on quitting?
heatherlb42 8 months ago
@heatherlb42
I still cut but much less often then before
sometimes I go because I cut and sometimes to prevent
idranktheseawater 8 months ago
hey melissa ive been struggling so bad with cutting ive been told if i dont get better il go to a permenant hospital wat should i do i cant just up and quit and do u got a cell phone
nocklon 8 months ago
@nocklon
I dont have a cell phone
I cant say what you should do
I understand you fear though
idranktheseawater 8 months ago
so how are you doing now? this is the first video of yours i've ever seen, and i wanted to know if you are doing ok now or you are stil struggling with this? I used tub a cutter myself... greetings from Argentina...
lauribabyblue 8 months ago
@lauribabyblue
I still struggle
idranktheseawater 8 months ago
@idranktheseawater Oh well... I hope you could somehow feel better by doing this videos... by expressing you experiences... I could feel better by writting... I'm not as brave as you are to make videos and upload them in youtube hahaha... anyways I trully hope you get well!
lauribabyblue 8 months ago
if u could respone to this i would like someone to talk to
nocklon 8 months ago
@nocklon
You can send me a message
I may not answer right away, but I will answer
idranktheseawater 8 months ago
@IDrankTheSeaWater I SI as well. What is the point if the hospital stay? Why do you have to go? What does it accomplish? Is it just being under guard so you can learn to deal with the urge without cutting? Please help me understand. I may go.
NikiCoyote 9 months ago
@NikiCoyote
It can keep us from hurting ourselves as badly as at home
it can help us learn to cope in different ways
idranktheseawater 8 months ago
ok,the 'guards r mental health techs i e just people..lol...the 15 minutes checks are done on everybody and yes if you are on 1 on1 meaning someone stays with you at al times at arms length ,it is for your own safety.I had a roommate who tried to hang himself and I found him and it was not fun...The psych hospital is to keep you safe period......Great vidieos and I do wish you conitued recorevy and thank you for being so brave to put yourself out here...people need to know the reality...
techslam 9 months ago
the only bad thing about telling them that youre having urges or something iz that they'll keep you longer and at the psychatric hospital i was at they would take you down a level and if your off restriction they'll put you back on. i hated it there but i agree it was helpful in a way but ive been there 5 times and it works a littlle each time but something ends up happening and it makes me forget everything i learned the previous time i was there and it sucks
kittykayla1101 9 months ago
i love your accent. just saying. lol
YHaveUForsakenMe 9 months ago
If you cut yourself and burn yourself on purpose you are fucking retarded
IndigoCat17 9 months ago
@IndigoCat17
Thanks
idranktheseawater 9 months ago
@IndigoCat17 Fuck off ignorant moron.
xxfeedmelies 9 months ago
@IndigoCat17 fuck you you ass hole, go burn in hell
sacapuntas6 9 months ago
@IndigoCat17 FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
techslam 9 months ago
@IndigoCat17 Who are you to judge? Do you understand why we cut? Keep it to yourself, troll.
ToXiCxMonk3y 9 months ago
@IndigoCat17 glad ur life is so perfect that u have no COMPASSION for anyone else.... why would someone watch a video that is on a subject the they think is retarted... ovbiously u need to look in the mirror...
jdeppfever 9 months ago
@IndigoCat17
And youre fucking ignorant
candyapplecarnage 8 months ago
i had to go to a&e for the first time two days ago. it was about 1:30am and there was only one other person there, but i was left bleeding in the waiting room for two hours. it was so embarrassing sitting there covered in blood. the doctor didn't say a word to me. didn't ask me why i did it or anything. i thought i might be seen by a shrink, but nothing happened. they just stitched me up and sent me home.
somekindamillie 9 months ago
@idranktheseawater I'm 13 and I S.I and my friend knows and so does one of my teachers (hilarious story) but who I actually wanted to know was my student counsellor but I don't know how to tell her because I don't have sessions with her by myself anymore and I'm afraid I'll break the trust and friendship between us (me and the s.c are good friends) also my other youth worker knows buy i really want my S.C to know. do you have any tips on how to tell her?
tazsta10 9 months ago
@tazsta10
You could write it down and give it to her in a letter if you're afraid to do it in person.
idranktheseawater 9 months ago
@idranktheseawater thanx its cool now i have some ideas <3<3<3
tazsta10 9 months ago
I understand its your mental problem of cutting yourself but why get others involved meaning if your just doing it at home by yourself and also covering your arms how did you end up in the hospital?Did you want to go through the whole hospital experience on purpose?Do you have health insurance or is the countries taxes paying for that also?Hurting yourself and killing yourself is a total different thing so don't think cutting yourself brings other people to sympathize for you because it doesn't.
gsdsl 9 months ago
@gsdsl
I went because my doctor asked me to.
I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking to share with those who feel the same.
idranktheseawater 9 months ago
@idranktheseawater Hey I totally understand.Sometimes you say things on the internet which normally you wouldn't.I apologize for being totally insensitive asshole and last night I had one too many glasses of bourbon and ass having a rough day at work.Peace and Love hope you get better.
Chong,
From Seattle,WA
gsdsl 9 months ago
Being a cutter, and being hospitalzed is the hardest thing i ha ve ever had to do!! I would find anyway to do so!! And i did, and my doctor had to count every cut on my arm, and he said i had 400 cuts on each arm!!! Then they had to put me on the fucking board!!!its whatevs tho! I just saw this video, and it made me think about that!
ImaFreakShow17 9 months ago
If you dont mind me asking what hospital did you stay at?
ImaFreakShow17 9 months ago
you are very pretty and i like your hair
vanillavinefly 9 months ago
Did u ever punch the guard I would :D love ur vdeos btw
nilefan77 10 months ago
I just looked up for some help with cutting, because I made a promise &it's been so hard to keep that promise. You came up, and I've been watching your videos. From 2009, until 2010, your talking has improved [as is slower, and not as much stuttering and stammering.]!
xxdinoduck 10 months ago
I am a PCA at my local Hospital, the guard she was talking about. Recently I had a nervous breakdown myself. It was funny all the other PCA's that I trained had to watch me. It was cool cause I got to curse people out and get by with it.
FreeThinkerInTheBelt 10 months ago
i was in a psychiatric hospital once...it didn't help because they let me go before i was ready and i knew my mom would freak if i asked to stay longer
HauntedMusicBox 10 months ago
i wish i had the courage to tell people the way i feel about my life, you have been very very brave
awesome1est93 10 months ago
that's bullshit they kept you in the hospital i would be pissed...the way they treat children for self injury now adays only makes us want to do it more
nakidmager 10 months ago
@idranktheseawater
That is not a real option for me...
I an recently going to therapy bug it isn't working as it should....
frootloop199 11 months ago
@idranktheseawater
If my parents say no. How do I get the help I need/ want?
frootloop199 11 months ago
@frootloop199
You could talk to a school counselor?
idranktheseawater 11 months ago
@idranktheseawater i know but i just cant stop myself its way to hard i feel like people dont care about me and i dont feel loved its pain but what ev
SuperCydel 10 months ago
@frootloop199 i cant tell my dad he will probably freak out besides i cant stop myself
SuperCydel 10 months ago
@frootloop199 By law in the US, a hospital is supposed to help a person with issues that will harm them, so you can just go to the hospital and they should get you help :)
TheNpcsim 9 months ago
@idranktheseawater
After this video I have really considered going to the hospital. But I do not know how to ask my parents about that! They have just recently found out I have been Self Harming and I am recently going to therapy. But do you have any idea how to like ask them?
frootloop199 11 months ago
@frootloop199
You can say that things have been bad and that in your best interest you think you should go to the hospital.
idranktheseawater 11 months ago
@idranktheseawater
So what would be my option to getting helped at the hospital.
frootloop199 11 months ago
@frootloop199
depends where
some hospitals have someone sit down and talk with you for a few hours until the urge will pass.
Other hospitals might admit you to the psych section of the ER
After the ER, you are either sent home or admitted to the ward
idranktheseawater 11 months ago
@idranktheseawater
It's hard because I'm 14 and I live with my parents....
frootloop199 11 months ago
@ idranktheseawater
Okay well I have been cutting for 3 years now. I have never had to get stitches luckily. But like going to the hospital is it really an option to get help?!
frootloop199 11 months ago
@frootloop199
look into the routines of the hospitals near you. It should be an option.
idranktheseawater 11 months ago
u must help alot of people stop
the bad thing for me is when i help people stop i strat again but i allw ways help if u now what i mean so iam stuck in the middle or fate and idn what to do iam sorry that iam telling this u i just fort u might ne#ow somethink i can do to help otheres like when people help me i want to do my bit
dannydods 11 months ago
i mean i want to help them from cutting but is that wrong
dannydods 11 months ago
@dannydods
no, that is not wrong;
Its good to help others quit
idranktheseawater 11 months ago
i stop cutting but i want to help people how cut is that wrong
dannydods 11 months ago
@dannydods
You want to tell them HOW to cut?
yes, that is wrong
idranktheseawater 11 months ago
i wouldnt cut myself because that would cause physical pain to my mental pain then im doing backwards progress
MrMeineNamen 11 months ago
i remember when i went inpatient at this place it was not what i need. inpatient stuff can be really good, just try to avoid ending up in a place thats more for criminals/gang members than a place for aiding depression/anxiety stuff like that
bpreller05 11 months ago
I like you. =] I was hospitalized for some of the same things...though I didn't voluntarily go.
butonebeautifuldisas 1 year ago
umm i was in hospital like a adolesent unit i was ther for two months i was only 13 your vids are inseration and i hope you carry on
batwings112009 1 year ago
umm i was in hospital like a adolesent unit i was ther for two months i was only 13 pretty stupid i know and give you credit for [posting these videois and wish i had the same amout of courage as you
batwings112009 1 year ago
umm i was in hospital like a adolesent unit i was ther for two months i was only 13 pretty fucked up i know i was under 24 watch for 2 days and was terrified i never left my room for the first week and didnt eat i hated it but i couldnt commit suiside but i did hurt myself sevral times while i was there and give you credit for [posting these videois and wish i had the same amout of courage as you
batwings112009 1 year ago
Its oficilly called one on one and ther are psych techs ,not guards.,remember your are ther because you are in emotional crises and all they want to do is help you...The rules may seem stupid ,there ther for a reason.....I found my room mate trying to hand himself and the tech was there in srcond to take care of him..My point , if you dont feel safe alone,the hospital is the place to go to be safe
techslam 1 year ago
Earlier this week my parents found out about the gashes on my wrist, and i was talking to my dad about it and, i was asking if i could go to the hospital (i still cut my thighs and legs, they don't know) and if its like anyting you discribed there's no way in hell am i going, >.> <.< i dont want somone to watch me pee ether!!
TheMoirajade 1 year ago
@TheMoirajade
They dont watch you pee
They listen in
idranktheseawater 1 year ago 12
@idranktheseawater
can they watch you pee/shower???
is that legal
Bloodygeek1 1 year ago
@Bloodygeek1
they dont watch you pee
if you have a guard following you around, they listen in
but most likely you would not have a one on one guard, so thats not usually a problem
idranktheseawater 1 year ago
@idranktheseawater
thanks
but if you had a one on one is it legal for them to watch
Bloodygeek1 1 year ago
@Bloodygeek1
they dont watch
they listen
idranktheseawater 1 year ago