Are your family and friends ashamed about who you are?

[reflectivelife]

Great advice Mic! I'm really enjoying ruminating on this topic. And I will have to take a look at Coming Out of Shame. Sounds like something my g/f may need.  Hugs! ~T

[PaintedRavensong]

@reflectivelife Perhaps if Kirsten doesn't need that book any longer, I can just let you have it or at the very least borrow it. Do you want me to send it to you?

[ufo8mykat]

So well spoken. Enjoy your break! I love hearing your thoughts.

[PaintedRavensong]

@ufo8mykat Thank you Sama...you are so sweet!

[COOLIKEDATAZIAN]

Yay for no more concerts!! I am sure you needed a little break. Great video Mic! You look very pretty on this video! I am happy you have grown so much over the last two years! I can't wait to see more of your growth in the future! Take care!!

[PaintedRavensong]

@COOLIKEDATAZIAN Thank you Jason. Yeah, I definitely needed a break. Thank you for the sweet compliment too. HUGS!

[CountryComesToTown]

Great video, Mic. It's great that your parents and friends are all open and out with you today. I recall you saying that when you came out to your parents, that your mom said, "you're not going to tell anyone else are you?" so I'm glad your brought that up. Do you think she was embarrassed or ashamed or just worried that some of those friends might react badly? Regardless, she sounds like an amazing lady and I'm happy that she's been so supportive for you. I'll have to check out that book! -Jim

[PaintedRavensong]

@CountryComesToTown Yeah, when I first started to talk about this I had forgot that she said that to me but then remembered finally. I'm sorry that I forgot the bonus question. I've already started working on a fun way to include it next week...hehehe Yes, perhaps she might have been worried that her friends would think that her daughter didn't turn out so well. Turns out that they are more evolved that one would think. HUGS!

[stoner829]

OMG!! Michelle!! We have the same Mom!!! My Mom said the same thing back in 1991!!! WHO KNOWS AT WORK???? DON'T TELL ANYONE ANYTHING!! That was their way of protecting us... I'm glad I did not listen to her advice..I told EVERYONE!! And I am so glad i did. Now when my straight friends talk about their weekends..I talk about OUR weekends. I cannot imagine living that horrible closeted life again...

[PaintedRavensong]

@stoner829 Perhaps our parents immediately reverted to how THEIR lives would have been had they come out in their workplaces, etc. It's a different time now...thank goodness!!! I can't imagine being in the closet at all either.

[KristenMac100]

Sometimes I want to hug a tranphob and wiser... its contagious.

[PaintedRavensong]

@KristenMac100 hugging someone who was trans or homophobic is a good idea!

[SydneyTinker]

The shame element is quite unfortunate, I feel.

It stems from hurt & perpetuates it.

[PaintedRavensong]

@SydneyTinker Yes, Syd, from hurt indeed. I'm hoping that one day all of that will change! It will take centuries I'm sure.

[AxeMoose]

Quick answer would be nope... Uncomfortable yes but not ashamed.

[PaintedRavensong]

@AxeMoose Well, hell, we can live with a little discomfort. That's almost understandable. Still would be interesting to see where that discomfort stems from though, you know?

[AxeMoose]

@PaintedRavensong hehehe - yes it may be :) I am sure it is just social anxiety of some kind.

[SydneyTinker]

You look ***amazing*** today, Mic.

[PaintedRavensong]

@SydneyTinker You are very VERY sweet.  Thank you!

[ninfernix]

Wonderful and informative video as always! As it seems shame is why people fear having lgbt children. Pathetic to see when a parent year after year still are ashame for it(non-religious reasons)

[PaintedRavensong]

@ninfernix Thank you very much. Yes, I can almost understand it at first, but once that person has been out for a while, the parent just needs to come to terms with it and accept it. Their child is still their child...nothing has changed in the relationship!

[twish1999]

The more i watch the videos from this fabulous channel the more impressed i am.... this is EXACTLY the sort of videos people need to see.... being gay or bi or trans IS normal! After all, what is normal? is it just being slotted into a role that suits others? or is it a person being who and what they are.... i say we are all unique, all individual, and should all be treated respectfully and equally

:-)

[PaintedRavensong]

@twish1999 Thank you Trish...your comments and support mean so very much!! We are ALL unique and I can't understand why anyone would want anything different. Who wants to be a carbon copy of someone else? HUGS!

[ItalianStallionette]

My mother didn't waqnt anyone to know I was gay. She felt that people were going look at her as a failure. I stayed in the closet for a long time. In fact, it was getting pregnant that helped me to buy into the sahame concept. Wonderul Topic. Again!

[PaintedRavensong]

@ItalianStallionette I'm so sorry to hear that Gina. I'm hoping that there is no shame now. It's all based on fear...fear of other people's opinion, fear of being ostracized from the community, fear of their own thoughts about themselves. In a perfect world that would never exist. But, no one ever promised us a utopia that's for sure. HUGS!

[KristenMac100]

My younger sisterseither don't accept me being transgendered or do not want to see me. They especially do not want their children to know anything a.out me.

I can't change how they view me and they can't change me.

Kris

[PaintedRavensong]

@KristenMac100 I am so sorry to hear this. Over time perhaps they will come to realize that you, at your core, have not changed at all. You are still the same person you always have been...just the exterior is now changing to reflect the interior that you equally always have been!!

[conway7734]

Hmmm. You're bringing up a good point. "There are other gay people in the family...". The fact that you KNOW there are others is likely to bean they're open enough to agmit it. I've asked all 3 of my bio sisters "is there any others in the family?" the results were telling... For the two who condemn me, the answer was "No, of course not", from my sister who is openly supportive "well, no one ever admited it, but..." indicating several family members who probably WERE gay. Interesting, no? Hugs,

[PaintedRavensong]

@conway7734 Ah, Stephanie, interesting INDEED!!! I'd love to know the statistic (if we could ever have an accurate one) of how many gay people have others in their same family. I joked with my mom once that it ran in my blood during a discussion we were having once about my cousin who is always gay and another cousin (that cousin's sister) who is BI!

[conway7734]

@PaintedRavensong I'm guessing the statistics would show similar numbers in ALL families. That is, it's consistently a certain few percent of the entire population, and for a "large" family (several generations) there's sufficient number of people in that family for the statistics to be uniform enough.

I think the difference are those "in the closet" because of beliefs or whatever vs those who are "out" and living their lives as humans.

There are probably some genetic issues as well.