I have known several girls and women that were HFA or AS. It was like two magenets and no work or little effort. I've known some NT women and those didn't go very well. Once with a women who has her own issues and I was not able to realize anything. She could lie and I could not tell.
Now that I am older it is much harder meeting women. If I were to meet another HFA or AS women I would try again.. Till then, I"m fine being alone.. No more NT women for me.
You did a fantastic job of explaining things in a way the average person can understand. It helps so much to have access to this information you are sharing . thank you so much. Can you give any suggestions about how to stop the "thought loop pattern" once you reconize you are doing it?
I do not agree with your video (as far as I'm concerned)
I do not want to be lonely for the rest of my life b/c honestly I don't like it it depresses me.
I want to fall in love with someone who is sensitive, creative, caring and funny.
Mind u, I have been 'In love' with a german singer named Bill Kaulitz for a year now (I refuse to say obsessed b/c my love for him is more of concern)
Relationships, I will be the first to say they don't come easy for someone with AS or other HFA's. However, I am living proof that it is not impossible. On June 13, 2011 Sharon and I have celebrated our 24th Wedding Anniversary. We are still very much in love; love has passed the test of time.
@healthmusic Congratulations to you both!! My partner has AS and although I love him dearly I do struggle sometimes. I was wondering what challenges you both faced along the way ?
I'm saying this as someone who knows virtually nothing about autism - I only started googling about it for a friend. But it seems to me that pretty much everything you're describing can be said of just about anyone. Lots of people are clingy, obsessive, and fall for bad guys. I honestly don't see the difference.
@mermaidofsuburbia. There is a big difference. As she says we become obsessed. I still love a girl from two years ago after i broke up with her, i have never and probably will never get over it because we have very big problems with emotions. By this i mean that we shoe no emotion or are unable to display emotion to 'friends' except for a person that we believe that we truly love. When this happens ALL of our emotions come out to that one person; love, anger, hate etc.
That last part about what kind of partner we need makes so much sense. I'm lucky. That is exactly that kind of partner I have. He knows my "quirks" and is understanding, and keeps me from going into myself at times that it would cause me problems to do so. Sometimes it seems like he knows me better than I know me. I was clingy at first, and he suggested I find things to do and people to hang out with(I moved here to be with him, so I didn't have any friends yet), and things are wonderful.
I'm in my forties. Single. Excellent writer. Not great at math. MBA degree. Anxiety. Obsession. Expert on topics I like. Into weather and snakes and dinosaurs as a kid. Meltdowns. Shutdowns.
Even now I act like a goof ball kid, giggly. Then like an adult.
Thanks for posting this video. It's great to hear .I have been married to an aspie man for 2yrs so I am a newbie.I agree aspie men can make great partners that compare to few others and my man has alot to give but there is also a down side, so spouses need to have good coping abilities. But the funny thing is that, I have some aspie behaviours myself even though I am not AS.So it's important to realize that we are all individuals and it's how we combine that determines if things will work.
The worst part of it for me is that I get to be rewarded for enduring a life of violence, pain, and fear with absolute and total emptiness. I regularly have nightmares of my parents coming to take me away and shut me up in a concrete bunker with nothing but solid white walls to look at for the rest of my life.
I am 34 and never ever had a relationship EVER! I feel society is dyslexic to this concept and yet never tale the opportunity to see how we are as people. Like the gal said int he video, we are never prone to turning on you as a partner.
i know how your man frend feels i wanted a big family lots of babies as i come from a large family.but i am 48 and i am no good at the eye thing so i dont get the signals.
and i dont like touch much ive had 2 ladies in my life, i just am a bit odd i am a talker but not much of a toucher however i love people but not in the way they expect..jeff
have to express feelings appropriately without acting out, and develop a sense of humor OTHERS FIND FUNNY, NOT something that will make people think ur an oddball, MAKE COMMON GROUND with people, READ SIGNALS and do NOT act pushy or overbearing and obsessive, these are VERY common mistakes autistic people make
find LOTS of intrests and do NOT be one dimmensional and obsessive on one thing.....it makes u stand out in the wrong way
@ash4245 DON'T CAPITALIZE for emphasis! NTs hate it & misconstrue it for arrogance or whatever. Sorry, I learned this the hard way & actually didn't realize it for years until I noticed that I got so many people being defensive when I went overboard with whole emphasizing thing. It was easy enough to stop doing it to not offend people. Now I also hate looking at messages with annoying capitalizations, which end up distracting & turning people off from the point you're trying to make.
I agree with most of those comments you made. As I suffer of AS myself I to understand how hard it is to have a relationships with anyone. But I have just come out of a six year relationship with someone and I loved her very much. So it is very possable for AS suffers to have long term relationships. But I understand where your comming from. So good for you for being brave and storng.
I have been learning that a common cause of autism can be from consumption of dairy (cow milk products). do Google search 4 "Udderly Amazing".video. Also, it seems that if a kid goes thru developmental stage while experiencing an autism episode from a health condition, can cause the child to learn or perceive of world in a particular way based on those experiences.
@upcycle And on a positive note, there are many tools that allow for people to reframe their prior experiences and create a new reality for themselves.
*clears throat* anyway... yes I do have similar problems :\ I had this before and it was hard for the two of us but then she cheated on me and so I now hate her because she wasn't being straight with me :\
I don't understand why people can't be straight in a relationship and won't cheat or lie etc... or even try to manipulate the heart :\
It depends on whether the person can tolerate your ways. I had friends who didn't mind my weirdness, but my classmates were not accepting (not even the most liberal ones).
Gullibility was a problem growing up, as was the obsessing about people.
Great video. I was diagnosed at 38, and went through a nasty divorce after my son was diagnosed at 2 years old. I do not think there could be any better parent than one who understands his trials and tribulations, and I am glad to be raising him solo. If there is something that requires me to actively fight for, my focus on that task is second to none. I just wish I did not remember every aspect of every relationship I have ever had.
It's been some time since (you) posting this; I'm a psych-student with HFA (a challenging and rewarding pursuit). My question, have you seen a lot of difference between fe/male aspie interactions/expectations; or more between neuro-a/typs? I wonder if aspie women are looking for similar things as typics; and what is entailed in "can't be first"? Thanks, for your interesting-informative insights for us all. (welcometosodo@live.com).
It's been some time since (you) posting this; I'm a psych-student with HFA (a challenging and rewarding pursuit). My question, have you seen a lot of difference between fe/male aspie interactions/expectations; or more between neuro-a/typs? I wonder if aspie women are looking for similar things as typics; and what is entailed in "can't be first"? Thanks, for your interesting-informative insights for us all. (welcometosodo@live.com).
Thank you, great video! I like the thought looping, I never named it before, and being burnt out when in social situations for too long - I understand.
On another note, with my aspberger's, I noticed the clicking sounds when you restarted the camera. The number of clicks are not identical at the start of each segment, nor is the rate at which they occur. LOL :)
thanks for the video. considering that i have high-functioning autism, it gives me a sense of hope, because romantic relationships are very frustrating for me to experience.
Thanks Laura, I have a 12 year old daughter with PDD-NOS and your video was very helpful in helping us understand what she goes through with friendship relationships.
Thanks Laura, I have a 12 year old daughter with PDD-NOS and your video was very helpful in helping us understand what she goes through with friendship relationships.
I've done tests that say I have mild Aspergers. I don't really idealize people since I'm not very trusting. I'm pretty pessimistic. I obsessed over 1 ex for two years, but we dated also for two years and he was the first (and maybe the only) guy I've loved. Other than that I can move on pretty easily. I don't obsess over the PERSON. Just the 'issue'. If that makes sense. But once that issue is resolved (which may take days, weeks, months depending) in my mind I'm totally fine.
I'm also not completely obsessed with my interests. Yes once I get into something I don't want to stop and I hate being interrupted. I'll do something for hours. I also like a good amount of time alone. But it's not like I'll disappear for days without word. Yet I'm not very good at contacting people and that can have a damper on any type of relationship. My ex and I broke up a few days ago. He didn't get me that well. He thought that since I barely every called him that meant I didn't care.
I did not see a lot of the deceptive and abusive things people did to me as a child at first (I did not even understand sarcasm), and am now hyper-vigilant and suspect people I love of doing things they aren't doing, because I still do not fully understand the cues. :( Luckily, my fiancee is very understanding and loyal.
this explains so much ,im 18 my boyfriends 20 and autistic and the things you have said like the attachment and the stuff about not even being able to here your name is so like him , however i do love him so much and wouldnt dream of leaving him , but i now have a much beter understandin of the things he dose and now realised it is his autisum, it has also realy helped me to figure out how to deal with it thanks so much , hope your well .lindsey.england
Thank you for posting these videos, I recognize so much of your story it´s almost scary. It´s very helpfull to me, because I often feel like nobody understands me and I don´t know anybody else like me. Moody and disconnected, hard to be around, always feeling alone, misunderstood, failing to understand the rest of the people. I´m somtimes called a Vulcan, because I often call things illogical, sometimes Rainman because of the amount of science facts in my head.
I met with him last night. He's an actor and a poet, like me. And he's lovely, very talkative. I asked him if he'd like to see a performance with me this week. His folks are coming down to visit, but he's going to check with them if it's alright to leave them for the night to see the show with me.
Any tips on dating this AS guy? I'm a neurotypical. I've done some research and read a couple of books, but it doesn't compare to actual advice from people who know.
I know well the part about getting worn out being around certain people. There are some people, relatives and non-relatives who can realllllly wear me down. I actually tend to pick up on when someone is being evasive. I think it's part of what led me to keep to myself for the most part and avoid being around too many people.
In the video she says she obsessed over a person for over 2 years. When I left my one school in 3rd grade to go to another school I had to leave my one friend, who I obsessed over for 11 years. For 11 years I had trouble forgetting him. Even though I could do other things, he was still in my head.
wow yeah i can think of 2 girls from 4th grade and it keeps freakin coming to my mind the visual and im 22 but like she said break the thought loop patterns
I agree with what shes saying but i dont like how Asperger's is synonymous with "autism" because there are differences. "Autism" means "in ones own world" and everyone on the earth is "in their own world". Most people associate autism with "mental retardation" because classic autism can cause mental retardation. I think we should get rid of the word "autism" and view everyone as "different" and focus on our problems. Because the averager slob just sees "autistic' as "retarded."
@Thanos700 I have Asperger's or High-Functioning Autism. The medical professionals I've worked with have told me that the difference between one and the other comes down to nothing more than the way the terms are spelled. The fact that "the average slob sees 'autistic' as 'retarded' means that most people need further education. It doesn't mean we ought to stop using the term when the term is appropriate.
@Thanos700 Much of what you have said is very true. I wouldn't say most people; a lot of people associate autism with MR. It is possible for one to have both; but they are not the same. Yes, in some cases autism, especially classic autism can cause MR. Asperger's may differ from Classic Autism or Rett, or PDD. Asperger's is of the high functioning forms of autism; normally have a higher than normal IQ. We're half in our own world, yet connected with the real world.
hi its kickass again seen as how no one responded to my message below, it doesen't matter now i found out that i don't have AS. people say i'm just shy but knowing that it made me feel better that i can go out and deal with life
i'm a 16 BOY and still in school i hear a lot of talk about relationships and sex with their partners it just makes me feel a little uneasy around my friends can anyone help me out there?
That's not true for me. I don't latch on, I pounce on someone I get obsess with/fancy then I move on. I fall in and out of love suddenly. I feel like a man in the way my desire works even though I'm very feminine. Men usually run a mile! :-))) so my sex life is pretty non-existent :-)) ok, since being married I try not to notice men any more because I'm no longer in the market (and it's much better not to be served a police warrent for stalking behaviour :-)))))
Fantastic. There are times when I forget that I'm autistic, and it seems that no one else understands how difficult it can be in most every interaction. When I see people speak of it as if they've watched me my entire life, and are commenting on having the same experiences, I find that it really helps.
Thanks, this is a really lucid and informative video. It's helped me to understand my feelings towards relationships a lot better and it's nice to know I'm not the only person in the world who feels like this.
Thanks for the wonderful video. I have Aspergers that has leveled off and nearly has disappeared. But a horrible start in life made everything impossible for me. Never had a real relationship with anyone I felt was at all right for me and continue to be alone always. People used to tend to despise me and to this day I'm usually confused and tired. Now, at 57, it's far too late. I'd love to have had someone but no one ever gave me a chance.
This is a really helpful video. I have a lot of trouble with close relationships, and not just sexual relationships. I find it very hard to let anyone close to me. It's partly because I fear physical closeness (I was in an abusive relationship a few years ago, so that may be something to do with it), but it's also because I feel overwhelmed and exhausted when I am with anyone for too long. It's hard to explain this to NTs.
Oh man, you've really hit the nail on the head. You seem to have gone through everything I have in terms of relationship problems due to Asperger's. I guess the only thing to do is learn from one's mistakes and keep trying, because in the end, it will be worthwhile.
Good video. I have Asperger syndrome and no friends and any relationship(romantic) there was always strings attached. the partner lived with parents who thought I was the biggest shithouse ever. So there would be a problem
thank you whitetigerdream, what you said took alot of courage, and i want you to know it helped me understand myself and my relationships. your point of view is very autistic, yet this makes it transcend emotional and personal boundaries and pinpoint the facts about the relationships us "atypicals" have. we are the true romantics of this world! anyway, i hope you find acceptance and companionship on your life journey. much love - castlesinthesky
i have A.S and i don't feel i will ever be able to be in a relationship. it makes me sad but the idea makes me panic and more stress is added to my already stressful life.
I think that post asburger couple, in school and in the early years of marriage, if on the social and career track, may not even notice that they are both buried in their books through College and Graduate school, or in the early years of child rearing. In fact, we may succeed where others fail. Then the syndrome may back up, or the body may give out at twenty eight. Half of all women who develop CFID OR FMS so at 28. The average girl have had children born between 16 and 18.
Ah, yes. The trouble is with the American pronunciation of Asperger's. American says 'Ass-burger' anyone else says 'Azper-tchrs'(phonetically speaking).
I have never had anyone interested in me and I have never been in a relationship - so tell me the secret?
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Class, culture, number of children
including siblings, physical apearance,
talent, and duration of physical health
and level of pain/sleep disorder.
A mother with an pre-pubescent
Ausburger's daughter, in many cultures,
including that of Frued and Hitlers,
might well find that the disease made
a well running family, though sad. Freud led the foundation of mistreatment [in America] and early Euthanasia in the Reichstatt and more brutal means of killing through the larger Reich.
autistic adult sorting out the foolish and ignorant
feelings projected upon him.
I saw a brilliant child, but I was wrong.
These are two different statements.
They see a lack of empathy. I see enharmonic contiguity.
These are different observations, from different perspectives. And this to me seems like a great extension of the differences we all face in the differences between our basic respective
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"Labels" are a form of social control over the population. There is no such thing as "Aspergers Syndrome" - it is a diagnosis made-up in 1994. We are diagnosing deviancy as "Disorder".
Partially correct however you did not mention that in 1944 was when Hans Aspergers made observations and diagnosis.
It's not fake and it's not all about deviancy. People are trying to blur the lines of what aspergers really is. Those are the self diagnosed online who may actually have something else but refuse getting an opinion from either neurologist or psychiatrist.
Well said, whitetigerdream! Aspies can't be blind in any aspect of life: Trouble is it can be quite exhausting: I have 3 boys on the Autistic spectrum, one of whom has Down Syndrome, too! Autistic people have to be better than NT's sadly.
Another thing to point out, some of you think you may be gay. my boyfriend thought he might of been, but realized what it was was guys seemed to accept his condition better then girls he knew, so he just became friends with these guys. But now hes positive he isnt. And ive talked to him about this all and he seems happy. i give him space, but im still there with him through everything nomatter what. I look out for him and he looks out for me.
Beautifully said hun =) my ex...well boyfriend...ehh we had a fight lol but he has aspergers and he is amazing i love him to death. One thing that helps is what he has "obsessive" behaviors about, im actually into it to so its not really a problem. ive had to reminde him to not always agree with me though, he needs to know he can tell me what hes really thinking. Overall hes amazing, i love him to death, and everything is working out wonderful =)
I have a boyfriend but I've never met him before. We've arranged to meet each other in a couple of weeks but I'm becoming more scared every day. I find it quite hard to speak to people because I have crappy communication skills, plus I'm partially deaf.
Friend, and fellow aspies; I identify very much with your video. I am an aspie; prior to meeting of one I am now married to relationships were extremely difficult. I had a shyness inhibition, unable to ask girls for a date. Shyness still takes other forms; even though I don't date, other than my wife. Aspergers imposes difficulty with jobs, may not be able to do jobs that are customer involved.
BeatsonsGirl84, Never met, but you may not be an asexual. Yes, I agree, relationships are very hard for aspies. Was always an aspie; but didn't always know it. One place I lived people thought I was gay (homosexual). Shyness, it was hard for me to ask girls for date. You, and others, I don't think having aspergers means you can't have relationships; it makes it much harder. Also thought of our Thrillcat friend, said "I know I'll never have a girlfriend or wife..." touch hearts.
healthmusic thank you for your kind words and support; I'd like to have a relationship with a guy but because I'm an extremely shy and introverted person with high anxiety and no sexual desire it makes it difficult. I'm glad you found someone and I hope I (and other Apies) can too.
Relationships with other people in general are VERY difficult for me and other people with Asperger's Syndrome and I do become very depressed because I realise I have things I can do and cannot do naturally because I have Asperger's Syndrome. It affects me as a person, who I am etc. I do not want to change myself but I can learn from difficulties and try make better happiness in the future.
I loved the part about how we don't stalk our loves, but do become very obsessed with them. Thought-looping... SO TRUE!
I wish more people would give us chances. Like she said, we may not be "exciting" partners, but I know that I would gladly do anything short of murder for the girl I love more (but who doesn't love me back).
There should be a support group for LBGT Aspies/Auties. The greater LBGT community is so hyper-NT, I always feel so stupid. Interested? Message me!
All true. I used to obsess about girls that seemed way out of reach. Even the ones I didn't like were out of reach.
Relationships are a bitch when you're an Aspie. The worst thing is that everyone wants to know how a 6'3, muscular, talented, 29 year old guy can be single and unattached. I couldn't understand why either so I told everyone I "get bored real fast."
I wasn't diagnosed until two months ago. Boy, did it lift a weight off my shoulders.
Echoing some of the other commenters, I was highly vulnerable, esp. as a child, idealizing kids because I sorely wanted friendship and only getting badly bullied. I find myself ultra-cautious as an adult, I also wish to remain selibut and not have friends; rather acquaintanceships as they are low-stress/sensory ways to communicate with people. This is my personal choice. Others in the autism community need to learn what works for them as I have.
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Dear woman,
I am a youngster with autism as
i also am a christian.
I understand that the earth and his people is decaying because of Adam and Eve. That's why these things exist. Now, we all sinned and should ask for forgiveness, and then with a torah based living, we can really get in the next good world. Listen; Jesus come to call people who are 'nothing 'to make them something to ashame them that think high of themselves. I think Jesus is true. I know.
I wish my wife would never get bored of me as I don't get bored with her. I have Aspergers also and I understand what you mean about clinging to the other partner. I don't realize that I am but I don't mean to be.
You should date another aspie. Excellent video. wise very wise. -another aspie trait ;)
you seem like a really nice person and I think you have good ideas and are on the right track. This may sound dumb but I do think there is someone out there for everyone. I truely wish you the best.
I have considered being celebate because of many reasons. I mean I like women but considering having to deal with tiny little cues you have to pick up, doing this and that, etc. That's my problem like when girls or women smile at me, should I smile back or say hi? I don't have a clue what to do. I have other issues that bothers me with understanding NT women but will take up the whole post. I think celebacy (sp) is easier for AS people because it's less stress on them.
I'd love to know what attracts you to the guy. I'm not saying your relationship won't work; it's just that I'm an Aspie myself and I'd like to know what kind of woman might be attracted to me.
1)What attracts me: My ASBF is intelligent. He is quirky; fascinating and honest. He listens to me.
2)"What kind of woman..." As an NT-woman, I may be closer to the beginning of the Aspie spectrum than the NT. In school, I was the unpopular kid - I would rather work as an office/library aide, than to go out for 'Recreation' after lunch. I always empathized with those who were different. I'm a nurturer, not self-absorbed. I am educated, and I have a natural curiosity.
PS - as a suggestion... I think online dating works well for an Aspie. It gives both people the opportunity to meet in a controlled environment (emails at first).
Thank you. My twelve year old daughter has Asperger's and this truly helps me understand her better. I am a single mother and her best friend. Sometimes is overwhelming for me but I feel blessed to have her in my life.
Main thing to remember is that rules of social interactions that most people can figure out on their own she can't. HOWEVER it CAN be taught to her and she CAN learn it in most cases. There is also a software that teachers her how to recognize emotions and their corresponding facial expressions. Just remember Bill Gates has it. ;-)
"thought-looping", I like that, havn't heard it before. Being naive stinks. Sometimes I think to make people understand myself a little better when I meet them I'll tell them that, then realize it's probably one of the worst things you can let a stranger know.
Do you think we should tell people about AS immediately like some people mention having a child, etc. so the other will know what they're in for?
That's tough. We have issues with either shutting down and saying nothing at all, due to fear, or just blurting out whatever is on our minds. I'm not sure we should immediately mention AS, but just be cautious and if you feel uncomfortable, talk it over with friends and trusted professionals. I've had to do that to know when I'm being taken advantage of.
Research thimersol as a preservative in vaccines and its connection to autism.Tons of info on the FDA govt website.Feds know about it and consider it an acceptable to risk a few kids getting autism,to benefit the population protection from other diseases.
Thank you. I forgot to mention how difficult it can be for aspie men to find relationships. Most are so worried about offending the woman or don't know how to approach her. Thanks for bringing this up!
worst g/f I ever had had AS. She had no clue either and it wasn't until some years later I realized she had it. Same shrink had been treating her since she was a kid and retired last year so she was clueless on this stuff.
Needless to say, she treated everyone of her husbands and b/f's very badly and honestly had no clue why people got mad at her or had nothing to do with her. She would take people that liked her and make them hate her.
I have known several girls and women that were HFA or AS. It was like two magenets and no work or little effort. I've known some NT women and those didn't go very well. Once with a women who has her own issues and I was not able to realize anything. She could lie and I could not tell.
Now that I am older it is much harder meeting women. If I were to meet another HFA or AS women I would try again.. Till then, I"m fine being alone.. No more NT women for me.
cyclenut 1 month ago
You did a fantastic job of explaining things in a way the average person can understand. It helps so much to have access to this information you are sharing . thank you so much. Can you give any suggestions about how to stop the "thought loop pattern" once you reconize you are doing it?
momtilla 2 months ago
Laura, this is Stephanie.
I'm gonna be honest with u.
I do not agree with your video (as far as I'm concerned)
I do not want to be lonely for the rest of my life b/c honestly I don't like it it depresses me.
I want to fall in love with someone who is sensitive, creative, caring and funny.
Mind u, I have been 'In love' with a german singer named Bill Kaulitz for a year now (I refuse to say obsessed b/c my love for him is more of concern)
Stephie2007 5 months ago
too much in any relationship, too much is obsessive and thinking too much
stsaylor29 6 months ago
Wow, this makes so much sense, this is really helpful for me, especially since I'm a teenage girl
Papanda1995 7 months ago
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Papanda1995 7 months ago
Relationships, I will be the first to say they don't come easy for someone with AS or other HFA's. However, I am living proof that it is not impossible. On June 13, 2011 Sharon and I have celebrated our 24th Wedding Anniversary. We are still very much in love; love has passed the test of time.
healthmusic 8 months ago 2
@healthmusic Congratulations to you both!! My partner has AS and although I love him dearly I do struggle sometimes. I was wondering what challenges you both faced along the way ?
sarahlouise2810 6 months ago
i will die alone AS a ruined my life.
lester90001 8 months ago
I'm saying this as someone who knows virtually nothing about autism - I only started googling about it for a friend. But it seems to me that pretty much everything you're describing can be said of just about anyone. Lots of people are clingy, obsessive, and fall for bad guys. I honestly don't see the difference.
mermaidofsuburbia 10 months ago
@mermaidofsuburbia. There is a big difference. As she says we become obsessed. I still love a girl from two years ago after i broke up with her, i have never and probably will never get over it because we have very big problems with emotions. By this i mean that we shoe no emotion or are unable to display emotion to 'friends' except for a person that we believe that we truly love. When this happens ALL of our emotions come out to that one person; love, anger, hate etc.
mtbers 10 months ago
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That last part about what kind of partner we need makes so much sense. I'm lucky. That is exactly that kind of partner I have. He knows my "quirks" and is understanding, and keeps me from going into myself at times that it would cause me problems to do so. Sometimes it seems like he knows me better than I know me. I was clingy at first, and he suggested I find things to do and people to hang out with(I moved here to be with him, so I didn't have any friends yet), and things are wonderful.
RobingdfelowsLady 1 year ago
Wow!
I think I have AS. Unbelievable. Crap. Oh, no.
I'm in my forties. Single. Excellent writer. Not great at math. MBA degree. Anxiety. Obsession. Expert on topics I like. Into weather and snakes and dinosaurs as a kid. Meltdowns. Shutdowns.
Even now I act like a goof ball kid, giggly. Then like an adult.
Separation anxiety. Job problems. Live at home.
Oh, man...what am I going to do?
JoeJacari 1 year ago
Thanks for posting this video. It's great to hear .I have been married to an aspie man for 2yrs so I am a newbie.I agree aspie men can make great partners that compare to few others and my man has alot to give but there is also a down side, so spouses need to have good coping abilities. But the funny thing is that, I have some aspie behaviours myself even though I am not AS.So it's important to realize that we are all individuals and it's how we combine that determines if things will work.
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MnbhXzsw 1 year ago
The worst part of it for me is that I get to be rewarded for enduring a life of violence, pain, and fear with absolute and total emptiness. I regularly have nightmares of my parents coming to take me away and shut me up in a concrete bunker with nothing but solid white walls to look at for the rest of my life.
aspie182 1 year ago
I am 34 and never ever had a relationship EVER! I feel society is dyslexic to this concept and yet never tale the opportunity to see how we are as people. Like the gal said int he video, we are never prone to turning on you as a partner.
MrTantraMan 1 year ago
i know how your man frend feels i wanted a big family lots of babies as i come from a large family.but i am 48 and i am no good at the eye thing so i dont get the signals.
and i dont like touch much ive had 2 ladies in my life, i just am a bit odd i am a talker but not much of a toucher however i love people but not in the way they expect..jeff
petchharrison 1 year ago
I like the word "neurotypical". Normalcy is overrated.
winstono75 1 year ago
Your AMAZING AND BRILLIANT! You summed up everything possible!
Atarismum 1 year ago
You have amazing insight into your feelings and express them so well. These symptoms are so difficult to explain. Thanks for the great information!
hopefuldad 1 year ago
have to express feelings appropriately without acting out, and develop a sense of humor OTHERS FIND FUNNY, NOT something that will make people think ur an oddball, MAKE COMMON GROUND with people, READ SIGNALS and do NOT act pushy or overbearing and obsessive, these are VERY common mistakes autistic people make
find LOTS of intrests and do NOT be one dimmensional and obsessive on one thing.....it makes u stand out in the wrong way
ash4245 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@ash4245 DON'T CAPITALIZE for emphasis! NTs hate it & misconstrue it for arrogance or whatever. Sorry, I learned this the hard way & actually didn't realize it for years until I noticed that I got so many people being defensive when I went overboard with whole emphasizing thing. It was easy enough to stop doing it to not offend people. Now I also hate looking at messages with annoying capitalizations, which end up distracting & turning people off from the point you're trying to make.
aspietrait101 2 months ago
I agree with most of those comments you made. As I suffer of AS myself I to understand how hard it is to have a relationships with anyone. But I have just come out of a six year relationship with someone and I loved her very much. So it is very possable for AS suffers to have long term relationships. But I understand where your comming from. So good for you for being brave and storng.
paulwall1981 1 year ago
Look on the bright side, Aspies never deal with relationships and if that happens it never lasts long. Being single is a luxary in this day and age.
MrTantraMan 1 year ago
@MrTantraMan
Agreed, well said.
fatcat2939 1 year ago
Hey Laura,
You hit the nail on the head when you said that aspies tend to cling somewhat.
I thought I was in love with this girl and she is a Cancer and I am a Leo/Virgo cusp.
And so she is putting up this big shield that I just can not get through.
So it's time to move on and find someone else. And dogone it I am going to find some one hopefully before I am 90 and too old to enjoy it.
Also aspies have to remember this: That a free bird sings more sweetly than a caged one.
MrArchiveman 1 year ago
I have been learning that a common cause of autism can be from consumption of dairy (cow milk products). do Google search 4 "Udderly Amazing".video. Also, it seems that if a kid goes thru developmental stage while experiencing an autism episode from a health condition, can cause the child to learn or perceive of world in a particular way based on those experiences.
upcycle 1 year ago
@upcycle And on a positive note, there are many tools that allow for people to reframe their prior experiences and create a new reality for themselves.
upcycle 1 year ago
I like the way you explained clingyness XD
I want those toys D:
*clears throat* anyway... yes I do have similar problems :\ I had this before and it was hard for the two of us but then she cheated on me and so I now hate her because she wasn't being straight with me :\
I don't understand why people can't be straight in a relationship and won't cheat or lie etc... or even try to manipulate the heart :\
Deadboy360 1 year ago
It depends on whether the person can tolerate your ways. I had friends who didn't mind my weirdness, but my classmates were not accepting (not even the most liberal ones).
Gullibility was a problem growing up, as was the obsessing about people.
MondoBeno 1 year ago
learn micro expressions
faizeshea 1 year ago
Great video. I was diagnosed at 38, and went through a nasty divorce after my son was diagnosed at 2 years old. I do not think there could be any better parent than one who understands his trials and tribulations, and I am glad to be raising him solo. If there is something that requires me to actively fight for, my focus on that task is second to none. I just wish I did not remember every aspect of every relationship I have ever had.
Int0l3r4nc3 1 year ago
It's been some time since (you) posting this; I'm a psych-student with HFA (a challenging and rewarding pursuit). My question, have you seen a lot of difference between fe/male aspie interactions/expectations; or more between neuro-a/typs? I wonder if aspie women are looking for similar things as typics; and what is entailed in "can't be first"? Thanks, for your interesting-informative insights for us all. (welcometosodo@live.com).
welcomesodoing 1 year ago
It's been some time since (you) posting this; I'm a psych-student with HFA (a challenging and rewarding pursuit). My question, have you seen a lot of difference between fe/male aspie interactions/expectations; or more between neuro-a/typs? I wonder if aspie women are looking for similar things as typics; and what is entailed in "can't be first"? Thanks, for your interesting-informative insights for us all. (welcometosodo@live.com).
welcomesodoing 1 year ago
Youre strong. I can see it.
SpokoynayaNoch 1 year ago
Thank you, great video! I like the thought looping, I never named it before, and being burnt out when in social situations for too long - I understand.
On another note, with my aspberger's, I noticed the clicking sounds when you restarted the camera. The number of clicks are not identical at the start of each segment, nor is the rate at which they occur. LOL :)
So how do you think I rate on the Aspie scale?
uselessman73 1 year ago 2
thanks for the video. considering that i have high-functioning autism, it gives me a sense of hope, because romantic relationships are very frustrating for me to experience.
Buizel88 1 year ago
Thanks Laura, I have a 12 year old daughter with PDD-NOS and your video was very helpful in helping us understand what she goes through with friendship relationships.
HMR397 1 year ago
Thanks Laura, I have a 12 year old daughter with PDD-NOS and your video was very helpful in helping us understand what she goes through with friendship relationships.
HMR397 1 year ago
I've done tests that say I have mild Aspergers. I don't really idealize people since I'm not very trusting. I'm pretty pessimistic. I obsessed over 1 ex for two years, but we dated also for two years and he was the first (and maybe the only) guy I've loved. Other than that I can move on pretty easily. I don't obsess over the PERSON. Just the 'issue'. If that makes sense. But once that issue is resolved (which may take days, weeks, months depending) in my mind I'm totally fine.
Euterpe001 1 year ago
I'm also not completely obsessed with my interests. Yes once I get into something I don't want to stop and I hate being interrupted. I'll do something for hours. I also like a good amount of time alone. But it's not like I'll disappear for days without word. Yet I'm not very good at contacting people and that can have a damper on any type of relationship. My ex and I broke up a few days ago. He didn't get me that well. He thought that since I barely every called him that meant I didn't care.
Euterpe001 1 year ago
I did not see a lot of the deceptive and abusive things people did to me as a child at first (I did not even understand sarcasm), and am now hyper-vigilant and suspect people I love of doing things they aren't doing, because I still do not fully understand the cues. :( Luckily, my fiancee is very understanding and loyal.
xxschutzhundxx 1 year ago
this explains so much ,im 18 my boyfriends 20 and autistic and the things you have said like the attachment and the stuff about not even being able to here your name is so like him , however i do love him so much and wouldnt dream of leaving him , but i now have a much beter understandin of the things he dose and now realised it is his autisum, it has also realy helped me to figure out how to deal with it thanks so much , hope your well .lindsey.england
sherwood5271 1 year ago
That's exactly how I feel with my boyfriend.
marciear1971 1 year ago
"you see, Most guys would be on for dis girl. But, she looks good to me. I can't even tell she is autistic. Nice post.
MrDoug1977 1 year ago
thank you
bloomingofthemind 1 year ago
I'm not clingy. I'm the complete opposite of clingy. I like to be left alone a lot.
SepherStar 1 year ago
Thank you for making this video it will help me!
missiefzennie 2 years ago
That is so true, I get burned out really quickly when I am around someone too long. And when we are apart I do not miss them.
I hate that about myself, because people assume I do not love them. But sometimes it's just too much, exhausting, to try to maintain a relationship.
So what do you do when you discover the other person is not interested and you've been clinging to a fantasy and you are married to the person?
AcaiBunch 2 years ago
Thank you for posting these videos, I recognize so much of your story it´s almost scary. It´s very helpfull to me, because I often feel like nobody understands me and I don´t know anybody else like me. Moody and disconnected, hard to be around, always feeling alone, misunderstood, failing to understand the rest of the people. I´m somtimes called a Vulcan, because I often call things illogical, sometimes Rainman because of the amount of science facts in my head.
YesIMinSpace 2 years ago
As far as my relationships are, i'm AS (:
Noyru 2 years ago
very helpful. I am kind of into a guy at the moment who has AS. I don't know whether I should ask him out or not.
:s
slaythemusic 2 years ago 2
he would love it
Dagothdaleet 2 years ago
I met with him last night. He's an actor and a poet, like me. And he's lovely, very talkative. I asked him if he'd like to see a performance with me this week. His folks are coming down to visit, but he's going to check with them if it's alright to leave them for the night to see the show with me.
Any tips on dating this AS guy? I'm a neurotypical. I've done some research and read a couple of books, but it doesn't compare to actual advice from people who know.
slaythemusic 2 years ago
ask him out but if he denies be his best friend
Nickatimes 2 years ago
Sometimes im wondering if im autistic:(
luvebug21 2 years ago 2
same here lovebug, though it's nothing to frown about; just something to find out about yourself ;)
7410n0 2 years ago
I would never have a relationship with someone who didn't share my special interests.
Aspiepowerful 2 years ago 3
I know well the part about getting worn out being around certain people. There are some people, relatives and non-relatives who can realllllly wear me down. I actually tend to pick up on when someone is being evasive. I think it's part of what led me to keep to myself for the most part and avoid being around too many people.
Rikotistic 2 years ago
In the video she says she obsessed over a person for over 2 years. When I left my one school in 3rd grade to go to another school I had to leave my one friend, who I obsessed over for 11 years. For 11 years I had trouble forgetting him. Even though I could do other things, he was still in my head.
manz900 2 years ago
wow yeah i can think of 2 girls from 4th grade and it keeps freakin coming to my mind the visual and im 22 but like she said break the thought loop patterns
Nickatimes 2 years ago
Theirs that clicking again.
manz900 2 years ago
I'm glad I watch this video.
thompashi 2 years ago
I agree with what shes saying but i dont like how Asperger's is synonymous with "autism" because there are differences. "Autism" means "in ones own world" and everyone on the earth is "in their own world". Most people associate autism with "mental retardation" because classic autism can cause mental retardation. I think we should get rid of the word "autism" and view everyone as "different" and focus on our problems. Because the averager slob just sees "autistic' as "retarded."
Thanos700 2 years ago 7
@Thanos700 Try living the life I have led before you aim to tell us how different they are, please.
aspie182 1 year ago 2
@Thanos700 I have Asperger's or High-Functioning Autism. The medical professionals I've worked with have told me that the difference between one and the other comes down to nothing more than the way the terms are spelled. The fact that "the average slob sees 'autistic' as 'retarded' means that most people need further education. It doesn't mean we ought to stop using the term when the term is appropriate.
ej220 1 year ago
@Thanos700 Much of what you have said is very true. I wouldn't say most people; a lot of people associate autism with MR. It is possible for one to have both; but they are not the same. Yes, in some cases autism, especially classic autism can cause MR. Asperger's may differ from Classic Autism or Rett, or PDD. Asperger's is of the high functioning forms of autism; normally have a higher than normal IQ. We're half in our own world, yet connected with the real world.
healthmusic 8 months ago
hi its kickass again seen as how no one responded to my message below, it doesen't matter now i found out that i don't have AS. people say i'm just shy but knowing that it made me feel better that i can go out and deal with life
kickass2557 2 years ago
darken the hair and a little bit of make-up, and she looks like Jean in X-Men.
prplhze2000 2 years ago
SO TRUE!!!
champagnevoluptuous 2 years ago
0.001 autisim here beat this sex 73 times YEA beat that im successful
rysliv 2 years ago
i'm a 16 BOY and still in school i hear a lot of talk about relationships and sex with their partners it just makes me feel a little uneasy around my friends can anyone help me out there?
kickass2557 2 years ago
i tend to feel happier when i'm not in a relationship. it's so complicated, all that stuff.
lucybean975 2 years ago
I think you have amazing strength and courage to come forward with this. You are an inspiration! I wish you nothing but the best of luck!
SombraShadow 2 years ago 12
Yeah I agree with what you're saying here
Well done
luky7s 2 years ago
That's not true for me. I don't latch on, I pounce on someone I get obsess with/fancy then I move on. I fall in and out of love suddenly. I feel like a man in the way my desire works even though I'm very feminine. Men usually run a mile! :-))) so my sex life is pretty non-existent :-)) ok, since being married I try not to notice men any more because I'm no longer in the market (and it's much better not to be served a police warrent for stalking behaviour :-)))))
NadezhdaRozagy1 2 years ago
I didn't realize this XD
I was perusing WP and thinking "Why does she look so familiar eh?" and then I realized I've already watched several of your videos.
Rawr. This is Bodhi. You seem so nice!
CaptainDormin 3 years ago
Fantastic. There are times when I forget that I'm autistic, and it seems that no one else understands how difficult it can be in most every interaction. When I see people speak of it as if they've watched me my entire life, and are commenting on having the same experiences, I find that it really helps.
ColdPsyche 3 years ago 2
I concure!!!!
NadezhdaRozagy1 2 years ago
Agreed.
Kaiserfangirl 2 years ago
Thanks, this is a really lucid and informative video. It's helped me to understand my feelings towards relationships a lot better and it's nice to know I'm not the only person in the world who feels like this.
lushsista 3 years ago
tiger thing is so true
nezahualcoyotl85 3 years ago
You articulate the distinction between autistics' and NTs' love well. Good job.
capnmort 3 years ago 3
thanks for taking the time to make this, it's fascinating and a very helpful insight xx
swayonline99 3 years ago 2
Thanks for the wonderful video. I have Aspergers that has leveled off and nearly has disappeared. But a horrible start in life made everything impossible for me. Never had a real relationship with anyone I felt was at all right for me and continue to be alone always. People used to tend to despise me and to this day I'm usually confused and tired. Now, at 57, it's far too late. I'd love to have had someone but no one ever gave me a chance.
nietspe2008 3 years ago 3
WOW! i just asked myself exactly that question. thanks a lot for help:)
dinmolle 3 years ago
This is a really helpful video. I have a lot of trouble with close relationships, and not just sexual relationships. I find it very hard to let anyone close to me. It's partly because I fear physical closeness (I was in an abusive relationship a few years ago, so that may be something to do with it), but it's also because I feel overwhelmed and exhausted when I am with anyone for too long. It's hard to explain this to NTs.
clangergirl1969 3 years ago
Thank you. This is a really beautiful, helpful video. All the best to you.
momominnosh 3 years ago 2
Oh man, you've really hit the nail on the head. You seem to have gone through everything I have in terms of relationship problems due to Asperger's. I guess the only thing to do is learn from one's mistakes and keep trying, because in the end, it will be worthwhile.
tapnerd 3 years ago
Good video. I have Asperger syndrome and no friends and any relationship(romantic) there was always strings attached. the partner lived with parents who thought I was the biggest shithouse ever. So there would be a problem
philsaspiezone 3 years ago
thank you whitetigerdream, what you said took alot of courage, and i want you to know it helped me understand myself and my relationships. your point of view is very autistic, yet this makes it transcend emotional and personal boundaries and pinpoint the facts about the relationships us "atypicals" have. we are the true romantics of this world! anyway, i hope you find acceptance and companionship on your life journey. much love - castlesinthesky
sancco87 3 years ago
i have A.S and i don't feel i will ever be able to be in a relationship. it makes me sad but the idea makes me panic and more stress is added to my already stressful life.
kinda sucks really!
Eilzie 3 years ago
DadsBlueAngel 3 years ago
Ah, yes. The trouble is with the American pronunciation of Asperger's. American says 'Ass-burger' anyone else says 'Azper-tchrs'(phonetically speaking).
I have never had anyone interested in me and I have never been in a relationship - so tell me the secret?
AlexanderOppenheimer 3 years ago 3
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Class, culture, number of children
including siblings, physical apearance,
talent, and duration of physical health
and level of pain/sleep disorder.
A mother with an pre-pubescent
Ausburger's daughter, in many cultures,
including that of Frued and Hitlers,
might well find that the disease made
a well running family, though sad. Freud led the foundation of mistreatment [in America] and early Euthanasia in the Reichstatt and more brutal means of killing through the larger Reich.
DadsBlueAngel 3 years ago
I find myself sometimes wishing Hans Asperger's name was Hans Übermench.
tetrica 3 years ago 3
I saw a brilliant child, and now I see an
autistic adult sorting out the foolish and ignorant
feelings projected upon him.
I saw a brilliant child, but I was wrong.
These are two different statements.
They see a lack of empathy. I see enharmonic contiguity.
These are different observations, from different perspectives. And this to me seems like a great extension of the differences we all face in the differences between our basic respective
temperaments.
chumkiu62 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
"Labels" are a form of social control over the population. There is no such thing as "Aspergers Syndrome" - it is a diagnosis made-up in 1994. We are diagnosing deviancy as "Disorder".
DRLAPAGLIA 3 years ago
Partially correct however you did not mention that in 1944 was when Hans Aspergers made observations and diagnosis.
It's not fake and it's not all about deviancy. People are trying to blur the lines of what aspergers really is. Those are the self diagnosed online who may actually have something else but refuse getting an opinion from either neurologist or psychiatrist.
hrk33 3 years ago
Well said, whitetigerdream! Aspies can't be blind in any aspect of life: Trouble is it can be quite exhausting: I have 3 boys on the Autistic spectrum, one of whom has Down Syndrome, too! Autistic people have to be better than NT's sadly.
Isochest 3 years ago
..impressive!
Kg277 3 years ago
Another thing to point out, some of you think you may be gay. my boyfriend thought he might of been, but realized what it was was guys seemed to accept his condition better then girls he knew, so he just became friends with these guys. But now hes positive he isnt. And ive talked to him about this all and he seems happy. i give him space, but im still there with him through everything nomatter what. I look out for him and he looks out for me.
mitcheellsbunny121 3 years ago
Beautifully said hun =) my ex...well boyfriend...ehh we had a fight lol but he has aspergers and he is amazing i love him to death. One thing that helps is what he has "obsessive" behaviors about, im actually into it to so its not really a problem. ive had to reminde him to not always agree with me though, he needs to know he can tell me what hes really thinking. Overall hes amazing, i love him to death, and everything is working out wonderful =)
mitcheellsbunny121 3 years ago
I have a boyfriend but I've never met him before. We've arranged to meet each other in a couple of weeks but I'm becoming more scared every day. I find it quite hard to speak to people because I have crappy communication skills, plus I'm partially deaf.
BethGoth15 3 years ago
Also, I want to kiss him! I've never kissed anyone before!!!!
BethGoth15 3 years ago
ditto to everything you say whitetigerdream.
beastinblack 3 years ago
I can't find Part ONE, Help!! I watched two and three just now.
WalMartIsMy2ndHome 3 years ago
Friend, and fellow aspies; I identify very much with your video. I am an aspie; prior to meeting of one I am now married to relationships were extremely difficult. I had a shyness inhibition, unable to ask girls for a date. Shyness still takes other forms; even though I don't date, other than my wife. Aspergers imposes difficulty with jobs, may not be able to do jobs that are customer involved.
healthmusic 3 years ago
I have Asperger's Syndrome and I also think I'm an Asexual so relationships are definitely hard for me!
BeatsonsGirl84 3 years ago
BeatsonsGirl84, Never met, but you may not be an asexual. Yes, I agree, relationships are very hard for aspies. Was always an aspie; but didn't always know it. One place I lived people thought I was gay (homosexual). Shyness, it was hard for me to ask girls for date. You, and others, I don't think having aspergers means you can't have relationships; it makes it much harder. Also thought of our Thrillcat friend, said "I know I'll never have a girlfriend or wife..." touch hearts.
healthmusic 3 years ago
healthmusic thank you for your kind words and support; I'd like to have a relationship with a guy but because I'm an extremely shy and introverted person with high anxiety and no sexual desire it makes it difficult. I'm glad you found someone and I hope I (and other Apies) can too.
BeatsonsGirl84 3 years ago
Relationships with other people in general are VERY difficult for me and other people with Asperger's Syndrome and I do become very depressed because I realise I have things I can do and cannot do naturally because I have Asperger's Syndrome. It affects me as a person, who I am etc. I do not want to change myself but I can learn from difficulties and try make better happiness in the future.
IfWeHoldOnTogether 3 years ago
I loved the part about how we don't stalk our loves, but do become very obsessed with them. Thought-looping... SO TRUE!
I wish more people would give us chances. Like she said, we may not be "exciting" partners, but I know that I would gladly do anything short of murder for the girl I love more (but who doesn't love me back).
There should be a support group for LBGT Aspies/Auties. The greater LBGT community is so hyper-NT, I always feel so stupid. Interested? Message me!
~Kymanthiel
Kymanthiel 3 years ago
All true. I used to obsess about girls that seemed way out of reach. Even the ones I didn't like were out of reach.
Relationships are a bitch when you're an Aspie. The worst thing is that everyone wants to know how a 6'3, muscular, talented, 29 year old guy can be single and unattached. I couldn't understand why either so I told everyone I "get bored real fast."
I wasn't diagnosed until two months ago. Boy, did it lift a weight off my shoulders.
MondoBeno 3 years ago
Echoing some of the other commenters, I was highly vulnerable, esp. as a child, idealizing kids because I sorely wanted friendship and only getting badly bullied. I find myself ultra-cautious as an adult, I also wish to remain selibut and not have friends; rather acquaintanceships as they are low-stress/sensory ways to communicate with people. This is my personal choice. Others in the autism community need to learn what works for them as I have.
doggiedoo79 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Dear woman,
I am a youngster with autism as
i also am a christian.
I understand that the earth and his people is decaying because of Adam and Eve. That's why these things exist. Now, we all sinned and should ask for forgiveness, and then with a torah based living, we can really get in the next good world. Listen; Jesus come to call people who are 'nothing 'to make them something to ashame them that think high of themselves. I think Jesus is true. I know.
Acts21v20 4 years ago
This describes me so well, Thank you so much for posting.
minnesotajess 4 years ago 2
Awesome video! You did a great job with this.
NocturnalBeeper 4 years ago
Pretty.
I don't get bored.
I wish my wife would never get bored of me as I don't get bored with her. I have Aspergers also and I understand what you mean about clinging to the other partner. I don't realize that I am but I don't mean to be.
You should date another aspie. Excellent video. wise very wise. -another aspie trait ;)
H0D0NKAIN 4 years ago
you seem like a really nice person and I think you have good ideas and are on the right track. This may sound dumb but I do think there is someone out there for everyone. I truely wish you the best.
Saguaro24 4 years ago 2
I have considered being celebate because of many reasons. I mean I like women but considering having to deal with tiny little cues you have to pick up, doing this and that, etc. That's my problem like when girls or women smile at me, should I smile back or say hi? I don't have a clue what to do. I have other issues that bothers me with understanding NT women but will take up the whole post. I think celebacy (sp) is easier for AS people because it's less stress on them.
pkrcaliber03 4 years ago
ty for this wonderful video
Typowned 4 years ago 2
As an NT woman with an AS BF, I would love to see more videos on this subject. I found this one to be very comforting. Thank you.
tekwriter1221 4 years ago 5
I'd love to know what attracts you to the guy. I'm not saying your relationship won't work; it's just that I'm an Aspie myself and I'd like to know what kind of woman might be attracted to me.
MondoBeno 3 years ago
Hi, You ask 2questions.
1)What attracts me: My ASBF is intelligent. He is quirky; fascinating and honest. He listens to me.
2)"What kind of woman..." As an NT-woman, I may be closer to the beginning of the Aspie spectrum than the NT. In school, I was the unpopular kid - I would rather work as an office/library aide, than to go out for 'Recreation' after lunch. I always empathized with those who were different. I'm a nurturer, not self-absorbed. I am educated, and I have a natural curiosity.
tekwriter1221 3 years ago
PS - as a suggestion... I think online dating works well for an Aspie. It gives both people the opportunity to meet in a controlled environment (emails at first).
tekwriter1221 3 years ago
Go! White Tiger! RAWR!
Bopkasen 4 years ago 3
Thank you. My twelve year old daughter has Asperger's and this truly helps me understand her better. I am a single mother and her best friend. Sometimes is overwhelming for me but I feel blessed to have her in my life.
marimercy 4 years ago
Main thing to remember is that rules of social interactions that most people can figure out on their own she can't. HOWEVER it CAN be taught to her and she CAN learn it in most cases. There is also a software that teachers her how to recognize emotions and their corresponding facial expressions. Just remember Bill Gates has it. ;-)
prplhze2000 2 years ago
sounds like good advice for most people, only moreso?
gbail9566 4 years ago
You look just like Kristina Abernathy on the Weather Channel.
jbmorr03 4 years ago
"thought-looping", I like that, havn't heard it before. Being naive stinks. Sometimes I think to make people understand myself a little better when I meet them I'll tell them that, then realize it's probably one of the worst things you can let a stranger know.
Do you think we should tell people about AS immediately like some people mention having a child, etc. so the other will know what they're in for?
Thanks
Dave
TrueDavebucket 4 years ago 2
That's tough. We have issues with either shutting down and saying nothing at all, due to fear, or just blurting out whatever is on our minds. I'm not sure we should immediately mention AS, but just be cautious and if you feel uncomfortable, talk it over with friends and trusted professionals. I've had to do that to know when I'm being taken advantage of.
whitetigerdream 4 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Research thimersol as a preservative in vaccines and its connection to autism.Tons of info on the FDA govt website.Feds know about it and consider it an acceptable to risk a few kids getting autism,to benefit the population protection from other diseases.
matrixoverkill 4 years ago
Thankyou for broaching the subject of autism and sexuality. There is plenty more to be said and discovered on the subject too.
It is usually the males role to take the lead and the females to regulate in the courting process.
Where male aspies often have extreme difficulty finding relationships, females often end up in abusive relationships,
The "battle scars" often cause problems in aspie-to-aspie courtships too, which are often non-standard to say the least.
CreddyEddy 4 years ago 2
Thank you. I forgot to mention how difficult it can be for aspie men to find relationships. Most are so worried about offending the woman or don't know how to approach her. Thanks for bringing this up!
whitetigerdream 4 years ago
Fuck the cultural roles!
this lack of flexibility in the human mating system is a recipe for lack of creativity.
expectations like the ones (e.g males role to make first move) you just said are why there are few aspies in this world today!
Just cause Hollywood or magazines or music says that males should make the first move, does not mean we should meet the medias expectations.
So fuck the mating rules and learn to be flexible.
RyunSharp 3 years ago
worst g/f I ever had had AS. She had no clue either and it wasn't until some years later I realized she had it. Same shrink had been treating her since she was a kid and retired last year so she was clueless on this stuff.
Needless to say, she treated everyone of her husbands and b/f's very badly and honestly had no clue why people got mad at her or had nothing to do with her. She would take people that liked her and make them hate her.
prplhze2000 2 years ago