What do we tell our daughters ... BlogTalkRadio Show

[Living1Word]

Is blogtalkradio a virus free/safe web page like youtube?

I'm a little cautious about logging on.

[AtlantaSistah]

@Living1Word

I have never had a problem with BTR.

[catren2003]

thats coz media feed people crap. but your right we should All have equality, no matter what sex or sexuality. girls buy all this celebrity and media crap. but women like us can understand and we have to try educate our baby girl. so 1 day somewhere at the back of their head will trigger that they are worth more than they think they are and become strong women. men need women, but not the other way around.

[b1346]

Black people DO want a change. Have you not heard of Martin Luther King Jr. ? >_> In my opinion, most black people, like in any other culture or race, do well in raising their children. But other factors not seen by the parents that their children see greatly influence them in what they do and how they act.

[Ramal123]

You haven't said anything profound. We all know these things, but for some reason, we (black people) aren't too interested in changing our ways. Black women chasing thugs, black men not doing anything with their lives, black girls aspiring to be Beyonce, and black boys aspiring to be Lil' Wayne. It's vicious, really. I don't know what it will take for us to change, but hopefully it'll happen within the next 48hrs. But I doubt it.

[AtlantaSistah]

Speak for your own experiences. Don't heap all of those sweeping generalizations on the rest of us. Many Black folks are interested in change. And they are doing it. Don't believe your own misguided hype. Thanks for weighing in.

[ttdean]

Let's do a Blogtalk show together. I really like your views.

[CYRINTHIA212]

u always look so beautiful..love your look

[AtlantaSistah]

thank you so much.

[Kimberlene]

Girl, if only we have more strong will minded females as yourself then us women wouldn't have to go through this baffoonish behavior with men.

[denisprowl]

we need to start by having confidence within ourselves then maybe we can talk to our daughters.....

[denisprowl]

too bad our community has lots of issues and I'm tired of seeing other races as a whole getting along, and we're here acting like scavengers.......... when back in Africa our ancestors were having it everyone was Kings and Queens!!

[AtlantaSistah]

Our commuinty is just like other commuinities. Only difference is our shit gets put on blast in an extreme way. No, we are not the onlt ones with problems. White folks acting like scavengers too. CNN proves that on a daily bases. Though I target my videos towards my commuinty, be not decieved. All folks are dealing with some of the same situations. And stop thinking all other folks are getting along in some type of racial euphoria. Hmph ... that is one of the biggest myths out there.

[denisprowl]

CNN IS CNN! I don't care for their propaganda. Of course other folks are dealing with problems but the target seems to be our community, yeah I totally understand what you're saying but how come you have other folks such as Asians, Jewish,etc. have more businesss on their own so their children don't have to work for someone else that's the point I was addressing....

[AtlantaSistah]

Maybe it could be some of us actually believe in the negative shit that we have been to saying about ourselves. Shit that started with white folks and we have grabbed onto like it is relevant. It is my belief that when one continually talks down their own community, it becomes real and true. Like I said, yeah we got problems. BUT our problems are not the sum of us.

[godscuttingyoudown]

give me a break if in your in your 30's your not old your still in your prime.

[naimaaf1]

these are somethings that We need to change sooon.Try to give the best advice you can give to your daughters and train them well.I don't thinks all men cheat though

[yahwaya2z]

Surprize WOman cheat & abuse KNOWingLY& UNknowINGly children raise PARENTs to PEDISTLEs only to SMASH them when they grow beyond there INFLUENCEs NEGATIVE&POSITIVE THANKS 4 REading suggested a WISE WOMAN is AllWAYS beautiul a BEAUTIFUL woman is seldom WISE an easy to be FOOLed by WORDs of FLATTERIES & PRAISE

[TABULOUS1]

6:34 - 6:50

[jcaseytaylor]

Hello, in watching your video I can agree completly with what you are saying, I think that you should keep speaking your mind, because you are speaking sense. I am 23 years old, I am also very proud of my heritage Irish and Black, as for some of us intellectuals who understand your point of view...a lot can agree because we can see these things that you speak of occur on a daily basis, and something needs to be done. Things need to change and be rearranged in order for new way of life to exist.

[TheFitHijabi]

Character and integrity are hard to come by these days, but I think these are qualities that both women and men should look for in a mate above all! With those, you can work out any problem.

[imanisankofa]

I don't agree with "all men cheat". I have explained to both of my daughters how a man is supposed to treat them. Some attributes a good man should have outside of character & integrity is his ability to be faithful & committed. If it were my girls in lieu of Rhianna, I would first tell her that I love her & I'm not judging her. Then I would remind her that she's a queen & how a queen should be treated. I would end the convo w/ prayer & a recommendation to leave him & seek counseling

[Hoporrene1]

I have told my daughter It is both good & bad to be in love. Good because you are sharing your life with someone & bad because you are opening yourself up to be hurt. If you find yourself getting lost in a relationship and you feel that you are putting more into it than the other person, it is time to do some soul searching. Letting go of a lover can be very painful and at times you may feel hopeless but the reality is the longer you stay in an unhealthy union the more detrimental it may become

[awhodatt]

As for cheating?

Men are gonna cheat,bottom line. It really depends on the level of respect he has for his woman as he does so-it also depends on the frequency of his little escapades.

I really don't think there is anything that women can teach their daughters to combat that issue. Its ben happening since forever, but it only now that so many broken families, divorces and dramas exist in the community.

That to me is evidence of a change in reaction to the issue by the women.

R we better off?

[AtlantaSistah]

No, we are not. Cheating can be put in check if women would drop the bastard the first time.

[awhodatt]

I beg to differ Atlantasistah.

That would just result in a constant, never-ending "dropping" of men. Result - more broken families, more divorces, more teen pregnancies and young men going to prison.

The bottom line is this - it sorta sucks to be a woman. The modern restructuring of millennia ages of the order of things is the reason we are suffering from what we are today.

Women were meant to be patient, nurturing and understanding.

Didnt Grandma & Grandpa end up old and in love together?

[AtlantaSistah]

Like I said, any grandma that put up with BS from Grandpa should have probably put his old coot ass out. Hmph ... what messages did they pass on to their daughters? To their sons?? Do know that the kids knew what was going on. That is what we are dealing with today. The shit has to be put in check.

[awhodatt]

But Atlantasistah, the fact that she DID NOT put his ass out is the very reason why we the grand-kids had our grandparents to love, hug and admire.

You think they didnt go thru a shitload of affairs, abuse, lying and games to get to where they're at?! Come on...that is what makes relationships unbreakable.

Many men cheat, some even for a long time, before they realize the quality of woman he has at home and then stops the b.s. or calms down so to not hurt her.

Ask an old gray haired couple!

[AtlantaSistah]

I don't want that type of relationship for myself and I sure as hell don't want it for my children. You can keep that shit. Women are ending up with diseases galore. Many women are ending up looking like fools.because the husband has NO respect. Kids are ending up in homes that are unsettled. Kids are ending up embarassed because of cheating. And let me be clear about this, when you cheat on your spouse and risk their health as well as the well being of your family, you have NO respect.

[awhodatt]

I know women are fed up with being "secondary" in this world, but this is your ROLE as a woman! Im sorry - but it is.

Too many of you are fighting tooth and nail to be primary or the "boss" in the home/relationship and its simply not gonna fly!

Keep dumping all the men in your life and you'll end up alone, bitter and broken. There many "good" men out here that may still cheat now and again.

Btw, just bcoz a man CHEATS does not necessarly mean that he doesn't LOVE you.

Real talk.

[AtlantaSistah]

Your real talk is real stupid. Just my opinion. It in no way jives with my world.

Women are not trying to be the boss. Women want respect as a true partner in the home. Stop trying to flip it as something else. Women have no problem giving up the so called title to a man that is worthy and that can indeed lead.

Cheaters have no respect for their families at all. No respect equals no love.

[awhodatt]

Ok - do a mental survey of all the old gray haired couples you remember from growing up - family members, relatives and friends.

What percentage of them do you honestly think never had to endure the turbulence of infidelity - on BOTH sides btw!

Re: Diseases - I agree with u 100%-hence I've calmed my lil ass down for a while now-dont need 2 consider wife & kids in that regard. That being said-back then diseases were almost non-existent.

[awhodatt]

The thing is-it often takes men time 2 mature relationship-wise. I'm still in my 20's & over & I have really hurt some amazing women in my days-I've calmed down now.

However, just in the last month my 2 sisters both dealt with heartbreak by way of cheating men and it really hit me deep inside. We were never close enough in the past to discuss such things but in a way I wish that we were - I now see my exes in them and vice versa.

This has given me a fresh perspective on cheating.

Ltrz.

[TheGoddessNetworks]

this is sooo far from a logical thought I dont even know what to say.....smdh

[HereKittyKitty422]

"Grandma", as you put it, may have kept the so called family structure together on the outside, but by lying to herself and her family about what was really going on in her marriage and her true feelings, that in turn passed down alot of hate, lies, secrets, and pain to the generation after hers. That's not something to encourage to continue. Staying with someone who isn't faithful doesn't just hurt the person being cheated on, it also hurts the family. Are men too selfish to see that?

[awhodatt]

"Domestic abuse against women" is on the rise because women / girls today are far too physically violent!

You know within yourself that Rihanna started that fight - reports are out now that she beat him with her spike heel as he was driving!!

My point is...dont start the damn fight ladies...keep it strictly oral - strictly verbal!!

Geno Hayes just got stabbed in the head by his girl with a scissors AND THEN a knife!

There is a sever lack of "ladies" in the world today-this is the true issue.

[AtlantaSistah]

The real police report says NO such thing. Get the facts straight and then come back.

Yes, I heard about the Geno incident. Did he know she was a psycho? I wonder what led up to this. I'm waiting to get more info on that one.

[awhodatt]

Respectfully, Atlantasistah;

In my life experiences a woman is far more likely to transform into a "psycho" than a man. ESPECIALLY, if she is confident that she is "the ish" and some man has the audacity to cheat/leave/embarrass her.

Been there many times..ya'll are emotional - and when great rage combines with those emotions - absolute chaos.

CB was wrong for doing what he did-HOWEVER, had she not started the fight it would hv been no fight - same with Lisa Raye - she took a damn flight!

[AtlantaSistah]

Like I said before, the REAL police report says she did not start it.

As for women being psycho or not, it comes from both sexes. If that is your experience, so be it. I can only speak from mine.

[awhodatt]

Atlantasistah!!

This right here is what I'm talking about...you said re Geno:

"I wonder what led to this?"

Come on!!!

NO-ONE is saying that in regards to Chris Brown incident...do you see the ingrain bias society has towards domestic disputes?!

This is why I ALWAYS view these things with a completely blank slate...forget a report or a 1-sided version.

What I know is this - women are much more likely to physically snap than men- you know it too...stop frontin'. Plus,2day ya'll wanna injure!

[AtlantaSistah]

Are you serious?? That is what prompted me to do this bvideo. Many WOMEN are questioning Rihanna and her role in this. I have heard crazy shit from many folks. Don't play dumb.

[Rolanda4]

Being faithful is a CHOICE.. In the past 40s - 60s

there wasn't as many independent women.. And still now.. people are still living in an enslaved mentality.. A women should never accept abuse..

[unbreakable2k6]

Hey you made some great points! I think the message that we send to our daughters is that we are not doing enough to prepare our sons for MANHOOD in the end the sons make all the difference God designated the man as the HEAD of the family and if he is not able to stand in that capacity we are leading our people into doom and extinction.

[philanati]

Rihanna geting back with Chris wow!

You know what is going to happen?

He is going to whoop her ass one mo gin!

And this time he might disable her or Kill her.

[philanati]

Any Man that say they never thought about being with another Woman is LIE!

If a Man never cheated on his Wife is a very good and Honorable thing but I bet you he has thought about being with someone else on the side.Take that to the Alter lol.

[AtlantaSistah]

Men and women think about it.

BUT do they act?? That is the question.

[philanati]

Some do some don't.

Life goes on

[philanati]

Since the dawn of Mankind Men has always had Two or more Women.

I'm sorry its a fact,bitter in the mouth but sweet in the stomach.

[AtlantaSistah]

My family does not operate that way.

[maipai101]

So have women we forget that female mammals have many mates.

[philanati]

It has been many instances through out the history of Mankind that Women had different mates.

The reason for that was either the Man wasn't providing or she thought he was weak.I'm pretty sure that Women manipulated Men in geting what they needed when it came to survival in ancient times.There nothing new under the Sun.The same shit that is going on today was going on way back then.

[philanati]

Unfortunately everything that is going on between Black Men and Women will only get worse before it get better

The pot has to boil over!

[AtlantaSistah]

My dealings with Black men in my world are cool. This youtube thing is just that ... a youtube thing. No boiling over for me. I'm fine.

[philanati]

I'm very Glad to hear that your dealings has been good with Black Men(wipes the sweat off my brow)LOL.This just youtube for sure.

[myrna2381]

I totally agree. I think what we are seeing is the devaluation of women.

[Hajalin]

I definitely agree with this video, my father told me to never put up with any bull from a man. He said if he loves me he'll do right by me.

[msdrella]

Yes... it seems as some of us our programmed to tolerate or accept this type of behavior...

I need to get that book...saw Steve on Oprah too... looking forward to when Oprah will let Steve do the show with an audience of women...

Thanks for the book suggestions, I will be sure to check them out...

[Yahokhanan]

The brothers are no more "sick" than the sisters. Some sisters are just as "unruly" and "vulgar", and act like "lil' brothers" when they want to. Many times they use brothers as excuses when they are questioned.

Even some uppity, educated sisters too..lol. Northern sisters too. Two-Parent home-sistas

too. Vulgar with foul mouths talking about body-parts and such.

They both need YHWH, before the return of his son Yahoshua.

What you are seeing are signs of wickedness before The End.

[hehatemepartdeux]

Something I will be passing on if I ever have any daughter(s) is that she/they don't need anybody leading her/them because that person happens to have a penis. She must develop herself and find peace and happiness within herself and not look outward for some man to give it to her. She is her mate's compliment, not his subordinate and to never think that she has to accept ANY abuse.

[Skyy2121]

i just totally agree, b/c most men are just becoming more of assholes, i'm 18 and my mom said "i feel sorry for the little girls in you all's generation b/c the guys growin up now are not growing up to be responsible men, and they are terribly degrading women!"

[blackcherryblitz]

Love this!! Great video, great message! You have spoken the words that I have been speaking for the past 30 days.

[Yahokhanan]

Women love men who are desired by other women (Married or not).(Not desireable, but desired).

[Yahokhanan]

In what you call "The Bible", Men have multiple wives. They were wives though... (not girfriends, lovers, baba-mamas, "wifey", and other negative terms). These men provided for all of his wives and their children.

[eskilla4]

We can all be redeemed.. Both of them need some healing and compassion.. Theres no excuse for being unfaithful, especially if you have committed yourself, to one person.

[NappyMACDiva3]

They both need counseling. I hope they are getting it. He should have had counseling when it happened to his mom. Women should not take this crap from men. There are too many good men out here for us to take the abuse. I had guys who "played " like they would hit me and they had to go, because I take that very serious.

[spiritualseeker02]

most men that treat their women wrong would not allow another man to treat their daughters wrong now this is just my opinion

[mtamorphis]

Excellent talk...I wish I was around when you do these blog talk shows...I have missed out on some great conversation.

In reference to Rihanna and Chris....I am not making excuses, but statistically woman will go back to their abuser several times before finally leaving the situation. Some woman think they can't make it financially others are emotionally screwed up. I think the later might be her problem. It would be ideal if the courts ordered counseling for the both of them.

[talknerdytome1]

cont'd

and the anger is passed down to their kids. Its an ugly situation

[TheFitHijabi]

That is the real problem. He never got counseling and she is in need of some. Too bad they are not have loving support networks to guide them to real help. I will pray for them.

[talknerdytome1]

I think a huge part of it is after the abuse happens and the woman finally leaves, nobody gets counseling. We are so dismissive of professional counseling. And "just pray about it" is NOT the solution to this shit. Everybody needs that time to discuss the whys and whos and put their feelings on the table so they can deal with it head on and sober. They can heal and they will know what to look for so that it never happens again. But they don't so now everybody's walking around mad

cont'd

[Skyy2121]

yes agreed

[GenuinelyGiGi]

this vid is so true!

[NETSEMRY]

A+ video! People need to stop conditioning their female children to take shit from men.

[purplekisses7528]

I love Rihanna's music but she just told all our tweens and teenagers that abuse is A o'freakin K.

[maipai101]

Soo true.

[GrimyTV]

Excellent video!

If Rihanna is back with him then she does need her ass beat, but by women who are true victims.

These desparate (i'm too scared to be alone) bitches, are the reason that women who are raped/attacked by strange men, can't get help. Why should anyone intervene if the fools will just go back? Then when you do try to help, 9 times out of 10, she'll turn on you for saying something about her man.

[MissPrettynCurvy]

Yeah, some women scare me, GrimyTV. I see those types everyday. I don't know about anybody else, but I can make it BY MYSELF (when it comes to men).

[SeanD44]

Not just the daughters...the sons too.

[marcdaddy33]

Well said.

[AtlantaSistah]

definitely

[SeanD44]

We all could learn alot from the women...some of us more than others.

And ya'll could learn alot from us.

[nappyangela]

What's even scarier is how these young girls and even older women are responding to this Chris Brown and Rih Rih situation. I hear a lot them saying that they are happy to see them back because they love each other and some are even blaming her. It's shocking.

[GrimyTV]

They're all crazy and need to take some permanent sleepy medicine. JIM JONES!

[tnj2323]

hahahahahahahaha permanent sleep medicine!

[MissPrettynCurvy]

lol @ GrimyTV

I agree...PLEASE drink the kool-aid ;o)

[tnj2323]

grandma shoulda put his ass out! I know that's right! we don't have to support people who disrepect us. I feel you on every level of this video, yes ma'am...