im sure people will agree with me... regardless of your AS it has nothing to do about been lonly at a bar... going to a bar is asking for trouble... people dont just go there to aprouch strangers for a chit chat... people who do that temptto end up all sorts of problems.... seriousely please take care of yourself and dont go places like that. there is so much more to do then just seat at a bar allnight long....only old people do that :)
thunderdude.just because you went by yourself to a club or bar by yourself and realise no one is aprouching u for a chat.. does not mean you or them have a problem. they could also be saying to them self ive came to the club or bar to visit my friends. ihavnt came here to speak to strangers i dont no or tempt to aprouch an inocent person seating in the corner of that bar) you too could be thinking the ather way around where u want to try aprouch someone you decide my friend.
I heard bad case senarios of people who go by them self to a bar ends up been in all sorts of problems.. Im not saying that this is to u.. ijust think going to a bar and cluib is just mainly drink.... socialise at a bar and or club is no optional... the music is too loud you cant get to know someone well.... and its noisy ...
You just dont no who will aprouch you or who will get to know you.. you dont no them u cant simply read them minds and think hes geniune and safe and ... yiou could get hurt or even worse case senarios... Clubs and bars are mainly to have fun with gathering friends u can trust or a friend you go with. Defently not alone to the bar or club. Why dont u like fine forums where people may like things such as thunders and stuff in your local area?? maybe hobbies or travel.
So with that AS you have going to a bar alone will ask for trouble not you been the trouble but you will be in danger by people aprouching you.. you just dont no who would they be.. they could even pretend and be nice to you and consider getting to now u and then buy u a drink and by the time you know it they will spike the drink or or make it out that he or she will drive you home but that is so risky..
Why would you want to go to a bar or a club by yourself? places like that si a big no no at looking for new mates.. I can understand where your comming from about hopeing to make newer friends.. But if i was you going to a place like that is defently a big no no.. too many drug addicts hangs around clubs..... I bet many people will agree with me going to clubs and bars is dangertiouse specialy much more if you go by yourself. Im sure there is more then just bars and clubs to think of.
Hi i also believe it is way toos trange if you where to go alone to a bar even to any clubs and bars by yourself.... I wouldnt hang around at bars and clubs specialy been alone around seating at a bar staring at people or hopeing someone will come to me. I think thats quite dangeriouse to just go to a bar and seat there and hope someone will come to you.
You should just take up a hobby that involves interacting with people. That way you'll be with like minded people and you can't avoid fitting in and getting on.
Going to a bar on your own is weird in my view and people who go up to someone in a bar who is alone is weird too. Not surpirsed that doesn't work. Don't put that down to some kind of neuro disorder. Joining an activity group alone is fine and you'll probably be accepted. Find a passion to share with like minded people - simple.
I currently wait diagnosis for AS or whatever they believe I have, I know what its like to put up with a lot of what you've said.
All you can do is get through the day best you can, as for meeting ppl, I don't feel like going out as I can't stand crowds, I prefer seeing my brother and visiting his local pub if we go.
Means i'll never get a girl but there we go.
Oh, flamers/ranters/twats that make bad replies? GTFO!!!!
Now more than ever it's hard to be an aspie. Society is becoming more and more competitive and most aspie's aren't able to keep up with the power-hungry in-your-face neurotypicals.
i find it hard to meet other peopleand to understand diffrent people i wonder if its just me or if people are worth hanging out anyway, people promise a fair amount just to let you down at the end of the day, i find it quite lonely at times but its also rather cool too, im not sure if i understand aspergers properly though
My anxierty is abit different then yours.. and i know why i have it. I will email you after to tell you why because i dont feel confortable for my friends to fine out yet... I never tell my friends i have it... i allways have to play cool about it all. I like your videos but its bad quality viewing though.
Hello the syndrom could be aswell something we all have. Even you might be top healthy lad and you might not now you actually have it. Its the way we see and believe.. we all have some sort of anxiety. Large or small. By the way your videos looks real bad quality. What sort of camera are you using ? Try update free the webcam by searching the brand name for update software.. would make the camera quality.
man, Id never walk into pubs to meet people. 9 out of 10 people aren't worth talking to anyways. What kind of things do you like doing? You could meet people that like the things you do. That way youre not fixating on soliciting theyre friendship, making them nervous. You'll be excited to talk to people about the things you both enjoy, and all the interaction and friendship building all happens in the background.
Sometimes its real hard to fine truth friend who likes you and its not just there for one first night and then never calls back. People like that are mean and real intimated and it a shame because alot of people throw us like as if we are worthless and thats sad because alot of people are picky and all but i gues been anxiety is something i must deal with and it just comes and goes... i dont allways get it but it happens random depends where i am and who im with and so on. i try to keep positive
when meeting people.... i know whwy this may of course me. The strange but is im real talkative in real life with family and stuff but when i meet someone new im real high nervours i try not to be nervours.. but somehow i feel totaly silent and quite and get intimated by other gay guys.. So it puts me anxiety where i can never relate the person ive met but it all depends with who im with. thunderdude im with you for this and i care course your my friend. xox
I know how it all feels.. i ones ask myself if i was the only one feeling anxiety but as time goes by ive learn that there are too other people very similar to me. I can relate to that effect and feeling specialy making friends and why people try to reject me. I allways wonder why that and it felt like i wasnt good looking to get them to like me. I learn that people are so self minded and hated and all they want is cute thing. and put the bad ones behind. I personaly have anxiety when meetin
I only have a few friends and the ones I have say I'm distant. Sometimes weeks go by without me conversating with them, and then when we do it's as if I don't realized that much time has gone by: I act as if it were just a day without talking. I've lost a lot of friends and someone very special to me this way.
I'm glad you have had some good things happen to you in the past few months. As for the other stuff I worry about it for my son too.
He is only 3 right now, but already, he cannot socialise with more than 3 people at a time. I am so scared that he will not have a social life when he grows up, and I feel so helpless in the situation. I look forward to your videos, because it gives me insight into how life will be for my son when he grows up. Thank you for posting these videos.
... you are. Did you tried to contact or reform old friendships with the people you haven't seen in a long time but you said they were very close to you?
I think meeting people in forums and chatrooms is a lot better than meeting people in public places like pubs and clubs. If I were really into online dating , I would choose the internet over a pub because it is easy to survey and assess the personality types of the person you are interested in; I think it is easier to get to know a person in an internet forum than in a public place like a bar because you are both in comfortable positions where in may be easier to present what kind o person ...
I have the same problem with meeting people online and in real life. It's very disheartening, especially online: I like to assume that I'm get-to-know-and-like-able if people can't see my social awkwardness up close, but somehow I'm not attractive even in print! You are very articulate and thoughtful and easygoing, so I'm really surprised the same thing happens to you. I wish I had something more constructive to offer, but all I can do at the moment is commiserate. Have a good week. :D
sorry you were being singled out on your job but I'm very glad that you quit. I have the same problem job wise. We both have the same problem with meeting people online and in public.
im sure people will agree with me... regardless of your AS it has nothing to do about been lonly at a bar... going to a bar is asking for trouble... people dont just go there to aprouch strangers for a chit chat... people who do that temptto end up all sorts of problems.... seriousely please take care of yourself and dont go places like that. there is so much more to do then just seat at a bar allnight long....only old people do that :)
arrowdude24 2 years ago
thunderdude.just because you went by yourself to a club or bar by yourself and realise no one is aprouching u for a chat.. does not mean you or them have a problem. they could also be saying to them self ive came to the club or bar to visit my friends. ihavnt came here to speak to strangers i dont no or tempt to aprouch an inocent person seating in the corner of that bar) you too could be thinking the ather way around where u want to try aprouch someone you decide my friend.
arrowdude24 2 years ago
I heard bad case senarios of people who go by them self to a bar ends up been in all sorts of problems.. Im not saying that this is to u.. ijust think going to a bar and cluib is just mainly drink.... socialise at a bar and or club is no optional... the music is too loud you cant get to know someone well.... and its noisy ...
arrowdude24 2 years ago
You just dont no who will aprouch you or who will get to know you.. you dont no them u cant simply read them minds and think hes geniune and safe and ... yiou could get hurt or even worse case senarios... Clubs and bars are mainly to have fun with gathering friends u can trust or a friend you go with. Defently not alone to the bar or club. Why dont u like fine forums where people may like things such as thunders and stuff in your local area?? maybe hobbies or travel.
arrowdude24 2 years ago
So with that AS you have going to a bar alone will ask for trouble not you been the trouble but you will be in danger by people aprouching you.. you just dont no who would they be.. they could even pretend and be nice to you and consider getting to now u and then buy u a drink and by the time you know it they will spike the drink or or make it out that he or she will drive you home but that is so risky..
arrowdude24 2 years ago
Why would you want to go to a bar or a club by yourself? places like that si a big no no at looking for new mates.. I can understand where your comming from about hopeing to make newer friends.. But if i was you going to a place like that is defently a big no no.. too many drug addicts hangs around clubs..... I bet many people will agree with me going to clubs and bars is dangertiouse specialy much more if you go by yourself. Im sure there is more then just bars and clubs to think of.
arrowdude24 2 years ago
Hi i also believe it is way toos trange if you where to go alone to a bar even to any clubs and bars by yourself.... I wouldnt hang around at bars and clubs specialy been alone around seating at a bar staring at people or hopeing someone will come to me. I think thats quite dangeriouse to just go to a bar and seat there and hope someone will come to you.
arrowdude24 2 years ago
Many people find it difficult to talk to new people in a party/bar because:
(a) it takes skill to find common ground to get on and the possiblity that might fail scares most people and hurts confidence.
(b) doing this involves pure social interaction alone, without doing any particular activity like work, sports or other hobby at the same time.
Solution: keep social interaction for times when you're doing a hobby, sport or work together. This builds confidence and you learn social skills.
Lizbethbike 2 years ago
You should just take up a hobby that involves interacting with people. That way you'll be with like minded people and you can't avoid fitting in and getting on.
Going to a bar on your own is weird in my view and people who go up to someone in a bar who is alone is weird too. Not surpirsed that doesn't work. Don't put that down to some kind of neuro disorder. Joining an activity group alone is fine and you'll probably be accepted. Find a passion to share with like minded people - simple.
Lizbethbike 2 years ago
Your a good person and come across as a very nice guy. If other's don't find you interesting, it is there problem, NOT yours.
I know how you feel and it's uncomfortable to feel that way, but know that you are not alone. I wish you every success in life! You deserve it!!!
BJSTV 2 years ago
I currently wait diagnosis for AS or whatever they believe I have, I know what its like to put up with a lot of what you've said.
All you can do is get through the day best you can, as for meeting ppl, I don't feel like going out as I can't stand crowds, I prefer seeing my brother and visiting his local pub if we go.
Means i'll never get a girl but there we go.
Oh, flamers/ranters/twats that make bad replies? GTFO!!!!
jogtheviking 2 years ago
realsocialdynamics (dot) com
bigfella1111112 2 years ago
Now more than ever it's hard to be an aspie. Society is becoming more and more competitive and most aspie's aren't able to keep up with the power-hungry in-your-face neurotypicals.
novelist88 2 years ago
i was diagnosed with aspergers when i was 19
i find it hard to meet other peopleand to understand diffrent people i wonder if its just me or if people are worth hanging out anyway, people promise a fair amount just to let you down at the end of the day, i find it quite lonely at times but its also rather cool too, im not sure if i understand aspergers properly though
keiich1e 3 years ago
My anxierty is abit different then yours.. and i know why i have it. I will email you after to tell you why because i dont feel confortable for my friends to fine out yet... I never tell my friends i have it... i allways have to play cool about it all. I like your videos but its bad quality viewing though.
radiowaver2 3 years ago
Hello the syndrom could be aswell something we all have. Even you might be top healthy lad and you might not now you actually have it. Its the way we see and believe.. we all have some sort of anxiety. Large or small. By the way your videos looks real bad quality. What sort of camera are you using ? Try update free the webcam by searching the brand name for update software.. would make the camera quality.
radiowaver2 3 years ago
man, Id never walk into pubs to meet people. 9 out of 10 people aren't worth talking to anyways. What kind of things do you like doing? You could meet people that like the things you do. That way youre not fixating on soliciting theyre friendship, making them nervous. You'll be excited to talk to people about the things you both enjoy, and all the interaction and friendship building all happens in the background.
absolutsoju 3 years ago
Sometimes its real hard to fine truth friend who likes you and its not just there for one first night and then never calls back. People like that are mean and real intimated and it a shame because alot of people throw us like as if we are worthless and thats sad because alot of people are picky and all but i gues been anxiety is something i must deal with and it just comes and goes... i dont allways get it but it happens random depends where i am and who im with and so on. i try to keep positive
paulux82 3 years ago
when meeting people.... i know whwy this may of course me. The strange but is im real talkative in real life with family and stuff but when i meet someone new im real high nervours i try not to be nervours.. but somehow i feel totaly silent and quite and get intimated by other gay guys.. So it puts me anxiety where i can never relate the person ive met but it all depends with who im with. thunderdude im with you for this and i care course your my friend. xox
paulux82 3 years ago
I know how it all feels.. i ones ask myself if i was the only one feeling anxiety but as time goes by ive learn that there are too other people very similar to me. I can relate to that effect and feeling specialy making friends and why people try to reject me. I allways wonder why that and it felt like i wasnt good looking to get them to like me. I learn that people are so self minded and hated and all they want is cute thing. and put the bad ones behind. I personaly have anxiety when meetin
paulux82 3 years ago
Hey, keep up the videos. Having two Aspies in my home, your comments help me understand them.
pmiller1967 3 years ago
hi i sent you a video and a email
jerbar120 3 years ago
I only have a few friends and the ones I have say I'm distant. Sometimes weeks go by without me conversating with them, and then when we do it's as if I don't realized that much time has gone by: I act as if it were just a day without talking. I've lost a lot of friends and someone very special to me this way.
Malithion2001 3 years ago
I'm glad you have had some good things happen to you in the past few months. As for the other stuff I worry about it for my son too.
He is only 3 right now, but already, he cannot socialise with more than 3 people at a time. I am so scared that he will not have a social life when he grows up, and I feel so helpless in the situation. I look forward to your videos, because it gives me insight into how life will be for my son when he grows up. Thank you for posting these videos.
JimmysCat 3 years ago
... you are. Did you tried to contact or reform old friendships with the people you haven't seen in a long time but you said they were very close to you?
suboreo 3 years ago
I think meeting people in forums and chatrooms is a lot better than meeting people in public places like pubs and clubs. If I were really into online dating , I would choose the internet over a pub because it is easy to survey and assess the personality types of the person you are interested in; I think it is easier to get to know a person in an internet forum than in a public place like a bar because you are both in comfortable positions where in may be easier to present what kind o person ...
suboreo 3 years ago
different person, same problems. wish i could go to a bar an try stuff like that tho, hope things will change. keep posting, we're watching
deaf0 3 years ago
I have the same problem with meeting people online and in real life. It's very disheartening, especially online: I like to assume that I'm get-to-know-and-like-able if people can't see my social awkwardness up close, but somehow I'm not attractive even in print! You are very articulate and thoughtful and easygoing, so I'm really surprised the same thing happens to you. I wish I had something more constructive to offer, but all I can do at the moment is commiserate. Have a good week. :D
smuchshypush 3 years ago
sorry you were being singled out on your job but I'm very glad that you quit. I have the same problem job wise. We both have the same problem with meeting people online and in public.
Chocomoca1 3 years ago 2