Doug Stanhope - Two Headed Baby

[pratikh]

I listened to this on headphones at work, and ended up giggling in silence by myself like a serial killer. Everyone was walking by like "WTF is wrong with him?"

[CertifiedGooner729]

Watch his face at the end. "What the fuck am I saying?" *gulp*

[VivaLaSixx]

lmmfao!!!! Fucked up but funny as hell

[GhostyGoldfish]

This man is a walking pile of balls.

[jeffreyswiderski]

Totem pole.....ROFL!!! If you can't laugh at this then kill yourself!

[cbrjoe73]

Hes going to HELL! and I might too for laughing.

[OneAndForAll]

@cbrjoe73 See you there at the fountain?

[Humberto6Moreno]

"Do you like my sister" XD

[DeathFromAbove1981]

"Town-house-head baby"

That line killed me!

[aaronchristopher71]

easily the vilest, most foul, degaded routine I have ever heard. And my stomach still hurts from laughing so hard. What is wrong with me? Totem Pole! Bwaha!

[kymburlee1]

@aaronchristopher71 I hear ya there buddy.

[mescalito75]

Funniest man alive. Saw him in Manchester a couple of years back and can't wait till he's back in the UK.

[staurse]

I love that guy :p

[WolfTheAtheist]

Stanhope is one of the funniest comedians ive seen besides joe rogan, fans of stanhope and rogan download the joe rogan experience, doug is on a epidsode

[Tommyr]

ROTFLMAO! "I want a swing set"!!!

[ebusive]

Dude. HILARIOUS! 

[OniJsF]

"Do you like my sister?" I laugh just as hard every time I hear that line! God, this guy is a genious.

[taffwob]

He says the things that we think but are too opressed to openly say ourselves.

You laugh & feel bad that you did.

[justcallmeassinine]

@taffwob We are not just oppressed but we would lose our jobs and possibly be arrested or murdered.This guy is really going out on a limb,bless him.I'm sure he knows that even a short life doing this is perferable to the overwork,intimidation and degradating drudgery that most of us deal with everyday.

[MeanestCoachEver]

@taffwob Feel bad for it? Speak for yourself.

[pricha24]

easily the funniest comedian in the last ten years...stanhope rules and this sketch is ridiculously hilarious.

[atasteformusic]

Omg!!! He's so sick an fucking hilarious!!! Hahahahaha!

[SirAlfredSourcock]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[zopi9]

i can't breathe. thank you, doug, thank you.

[coktoe]

Awesome. Going to buy any Doug Stanhope dvd's I can find at this point.

[BigJimC88]

Guy is a fucken genius. Ye shudnae laff but ye kanny help it and sometimes ye kanny help guffawin either.

"It was like a fucking totem pole..."

heh heh heh heh!!!

[traulamo]

This dude is fucking hilarious I can't believe I've never heard ofhim b4

[cryjesuscry]

@traulamo because mainstream comedy is shit and the real talent is underexposed

[SgtBastard101]

Hmmm,yeah,two headed chick could lick my ass and give me a knobber at the same time! LOL

[Merdoc1109]

He shoulda went into haircut's. Do you pay for two? Doug Stanhope is my hero.

[bj07bran7]

I have his NEW COMEDY ALBUM Check out my channel for the WHOLE THING

[cd1str013r]

Totem pole! fuck yeah!

[vivalabad6]

This guy is real.

[suretie]

I have 2 special needs kids,one was a surviving twin. But I find this really funny I think he's great. The very first time I seen him I thought he was a dick. then i got to know him.

[sbgrant]

@suretie

Good for you. More people need to relax and stop getting offended 'on behalf of other people' or convincing themselves random things apply to them or people they know. I applaud your open-mindedness.

[NinjaLikeTeaBagger]

Funny cause making these kinds of jokes is what he does for work, to get money, and to travel and possibly get laid.

BTW you're a pussy.

[FuzzyNugs420]

looks like somebody is abnormal......

[fifinhota]

i'd say more but i digress...

[travshorts]

holy shit.

[Navarro777]

He is fucking AWESOME!!! I love this guys sense of humor! Finally someone who isn't afraid to be funny again like old Richard Pryor!

[Bmac1313]

this man is my hero

[lalaloand]

ok, I think Doug Stanhope is one of the greatest comedians ever. and not just because he's really funny, a lot of comedians are. no, it's because he's ballsy. If a comedian and make you laugh but offend you at the same time, their doing their job

[0nePumpChump]

@lalaloand

I thought he was the best until I started noticing the crazy libertopian crap, then I realized he's not a libertarian, he's a nihilist, and that stuff became funny, and he became the best again.

[rawjokes]

@lalaloand he may be the greatest behind carlin, kinison, and hicks.

[Weakandlame]

@lalaloand No bigger duh could have been said.

[AmericanDrugWar]

YouTube: How Weed Won the West

...featuring Doug Stanhope!

[toodrunktomakelove]

hahaha this is so fucked up! ^ ^ i love it!

[fcukausername]

this guy's fucking twisted. i love it. "of course i like your sister, look down."

[twicon]

hahahhhaha wow that was almost to much for me..

[keggerous]

not everyone wants to do what u do....some ppl enjoy this kind of humor just cuz u dont doesnt mean they should change.

[KringspierMuskatier]

its sick yes but its funny don´t take it to hard its still comedy at the end off the day.

[GnosticAtheist]

aaahhh hhhhaaahhh ahhhahh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

[theguywiththehair1]

BAHAHAHAHA I just read the video description...

[aerthnfex]

I've always heard 0:48 as "it's attached at the sternum, sure, cut 'em apart."

[Face2nutts]

Its drooling cherios on me...LOL....holy shit!

[wildcomfort88]

i just shat my pants from disgust.

AWESOME

[ayedern]

33-35 he says 'one out of four, the good four, which still keeps you in the majors' which is a sport reference to major league baseball or basketball or some other american sport. I'm from Australia so i could be wrong though.

then 48 -50 i'm pretty sure he says 'detach the disturbed, cut 'em apart'

good luck pablo

[PabloG1987]

thanks A LOT for your help!

[gibbsies]

watch his bit about art, then stfu

[PabloG1987]

hey, can anyone please tell me what is doug saying at

0:33-0:35

and at

0:48-0:50

i'm trying to translate "deadbeat hero" into spanish, but i'm having problems with these two.

thanks in advance!

[StarchildSF]

If you like Doug Stanhope's ideas, please sign the petition urging him to run for president! petitionspotDOTcom/petitions/s­tanhope2012/

By the way, seeing Doug live is well worth it. I went to his show in San Jose last month and he was in fine form! His upcoming shows are listed at dougstanhopeDOTcom .

For those who "get it" on a deeper level and want to know more about the libertarian philosophy, this video gives a good intro - isilDOTorg/resources/introduct­ionDOTswf

[TheSlimViper]

Does anyone else think he sort of just riffed here and wasn't going off completely scripted material like someone like Dane Cook does? It really seemed like he added probably half that video on the fly, and it was hilarious. I felt like I could see his mind working and then his eyes light up as he found the next joke.

[joehinkle14]

mainstream media. duh.

[chunkyass69]

derrrr ma I wanna a swing set mom

[MmoInfo]

my mouth hurts from laughing so hard

[Hodongji]

I hope Bingo is ok.

[Extremesyko420]

Haha Stanhope is my hero!

[les005znbm]

cold.

[ajr4888]

I love hearing how uncomfortable he makes his audience with the descriptions.

[Alberg6]

took that concept a bit too far.. funny at first but gets a little excessive

[BolognaX]

>_>

[stormriderWI]

Go watch a Jeff Dunham vid

[Friske248th]

vantrilaquist suck, yes he has some alright jokes but its just not as good, kno what i mean

[deewhyelayin]

jeff dunham is a hack. the definition of hack

[freethinkerdangerous]

HahaHaha Totum pole

[blupheonix44]

ROFLMFAO!!!! Holy shit, I think I peed a little....

[arynRIOT]

THATS AWESOME

ahahahaha

[RobertJamesAlexander]

i have a two headed baby girl picture signed by mr stanhope

[chronsmoke]

lmfao !!

[OscarLimaMike]

ha ha ha ah of course I like your sister look down lol

[lillyfoe]

its drooling cheerios .... lmao

[quicky2103]

Funniest skit ever.

[WIDeptofRevenue]

I want a swingset, do you like my sister... ROFL!!!!

[simmy3000]

filth

[SZF123456]

christian

[simmy3000]

satanist actually

[Morthund]

same shit simmy, superstitious fairy tales.

Just shut up and laugh.

[simmy3000]

Have you ever wanted to fart real bad and ended up shitting in your fathers mouth?

[Textscott]

wat da fuk!?!?!?!?!!!! is rong wit u.

[simmy3000]

I'm wearing my moms knickers right now

[diabolic42090]

Louis ck?..

[formulized94]

LOL, what a nut job.

[DEadJACK4090]

aaow my sides hurt that was fucking funny

[telboy1966manu]

Fucking excellent!

[CountStoczkowski]

Stanhope is the best comic alive today hands down. hung out with him after a show in tampa, cool mother fucker

[wubble78]

That's nothin, when I was 5 I met Rod Hull and Emu.

[BrianBlessedO]

I AM HIM!

[simmy3000]

lol

[sweetgem30]

SO WRONG....but OH SO FUCKING FUNNY. ♥

[RMCDOXX0]

put you advice in to practice you cat piss smelling cocksucker!

[xxxs13]

lame

suicide is the only option.

[KalinaNoeva]

GENIUS :DDDD

[toba122]

Why'd they kill him?

P.S. I believe in fairytales! ;)

[retrofuturex]

Of course I like your sister, look down!

[jbonesftw]

this guy rules

[darhein]

they were twin thats all i'm saying

[dougerber]

drooling cheerios. that would be horrible.

[drexsyl7]

townhouse head baby.this fuckin guy murders me.

[geemantheman]

You know what, people who worship this sad, sad man Doug Stanhope and all of his nazi, anti-life beliefs are idiots! This is definitely a cult right here! And Doug is the leader! You're all freaks! Grow up! God! A thirty year old addict who jokes about killing a baby and shows no importance for any religious tradition! What kind of a fuck is that?! This guy likes to think he's wise but he's actually very dumb! He believes in nothing! A hypocrite!

[boost3782]

Your just sad your one of the stupid fucks he's talking about and making jokes about. Cry more asshat.

[geemantheman]

TO boost3782: Believe me my addict friend, everything he said does not make me sad about myself AT ALL! Hahaha! It's the opposite! I mean seriously, look at him!! He's miserable!! He's the last THING I ever want to be like when I reach my 30's!!! Shit I'm not even going to start with this again anymore! It's heading nowhere! The only person who can ever help you guys is a licensed therapist! So have a good life and I hope you can still say the same shit when you're fifty!

[boost3782]

I don't care how sad he is, he's funny as hell and what he's saying is not that big of deal. Listen to some rap music or read a newspaper for some horrible shit. I read your profile and see your not from America.... Well over here cowboy we have freedom of speech. I also would like to point out your in no position to tell anyone they need a therapist. You don't like Doug so shut your cum dumpster of a mouth and leave.

[DoctorSensitive]

It doesn't matter where he's from there's plenty of people in america just like him. Why make it an american issue? Doug stanhope is no lover of america himself.

[GETURPOPCRNRDY]

Life is cruel, get a sense of humour or you'll never be happy.

[drzeus99]

Some people aren't delusional sheep who believe in made up fairy tale religions. We use common sense, logic, and our OWN minds to think. We don't act like the gullible, naive sheep you people are. Stop living in a child's fantasy world of make believe old men in the sky!

[gibblesmorrison]

Since when does having beliefs constitute having an IQ? Doug is in no way a hypocrite, and if you wern't so indoctrinated with the bs that you have been spoonfed from the day you were born you would realise it. YOU need to grow up and start thinking for yourself...

[CruzanMassive06]

This might just be the funniest single piece of standup I've ever seen. WAY too funny!

[garzaeduardo]

when i was drinking earlier,this was really funny,but now that i'm all fucked up,it just seems kinda regular.

[siddHDS]

I love the description to this vid.. 'Doug bemoans the senseless distruction of one of God's most beautiful creations' XD

[jaytotale]

i noticed goodnight goodluck stuck it out till the end even though he was so offended!

[chinadolltx]

so funny

[GoodNightGoodLuck]

"I need a two-headed lady that's the only way I can cum." Okay, this is seriously disturbed. The funny part though is the guy thinks everyone share his far out fetish and act like him.

[johnclavis]

Shut up and learn to laugh at life. The two-headed baby really happened; Doug's just trying to put it in some perspective instead of just wringing his hands and saying "Oh, how tragic!" Life is a carcinogen, dude.

[richcastle]

sick fuck but funny as hell!

[satyrxi]

for the people offended about the whole "baby" issue, its like Bill Hicks says, forget this notion of child worship, love people of all ages or shut the f*** up. its funny cause its funny and the story if you paid attention ended with the child's death, she's not suffering, she's "gone to live with jesus" and couldnt be happier

[devourerofbabies]

Oh my fucking god I fell out of my fucking chair.

[wandywabbit]

that was fucking hysterical

[johhny3rubs]

wow. havne't heard anything that funny since the early days of dice. fantastic

[RaidenTheAlmighty]

i dont know what they put in the water but im going down there.

[Bobevans33]

This video is fucking hilarious...and too everyone who thinks it's "atrocious and wrong" i have an idea for u 2 try....k u ready?? DON'T FUCKING WATCH IT!!! If u dont like it.. don't go to it and bitch about how it's innapropriate and how people shouldn't find it funny.

[Petroxeilosrules]

that is fucking offensive...i love it

[colombiacrack88]

russel peters n margaret cho are way better!!!

[redshift912]

yeah..stick to your mindless humor please

[BLAGASPANTS]

Just checked out Russell Peters and he is not funny and taken most of his shit off Eddie Murphy delirious.

Ya can keep that shit.

[erikrindl]

Samuijin

He gotta use mirrors or something to conceal his second head then

[Samuijin]

Erik, I'm not specifically talking about this routine of his, but other routines...and I'm not talking specifically about Doug Stanhope, but about most comics.

[Samuijin]

The saddest things about any comic is that their lives are actually very sad. Their jokes are all based on their own lives, and the only reason that people attend their shows is so that they can laugh at the comic's misfortune, even if the comic is selling his/her own pathetic life as a huge joke. This guy -is- funny, but I can't help but laugh and feel guilty as hell at the same time.

[steviecaldwell]

very sad ? as sad as sitting typing reviews on the internet ? i think not . i do it cos im fuckin bored stiff at work , you seem to just enjoy talking shit for the sake of it . your post above pretty much says that doug stanhope mustve been a two headed baby or summit ? good arguement

[Samuijin]

Oh god...Look, this wasn't a review on him. It was a comment. And how was I "talking shit"? I basically just mentioned something I noticed most comics had in common. I was wrong to have posted my comment in the forum for this video, as I was referring to the wider scope of Doug Stanhope's work. And if you insist, -this- is me "talking shit": How did you get a job? Your grammar is atrocious.

[steviecaldwell]

atrocious ? i didnt realise you had to be an english scholar to work ??? explain further your rational

[assassintok]

I'd say he picked up where Bill Hicks left off, I love them both so much...

According to my friend, when he saw Doug Stanhope live in Minneapolis, he probably can't make it very much longer- he's very depressed live.

[mancpartizan]

this guy is fuckin class, comedy is comedy when you start saying what you can and cant jokw about, your just one step closer to an even more stalanist/militarised society.

[Unknownsock]

Classic! Best comedian around at the moment!

[sylhetbeauty]

People if you wana see some funny shit.....then search for Russel Peters....he is as funny as hell. and he keeps it real. This bitch is fake and he is a horrible person cus he targets innocent babies as a laffing stalk.....

[TTOMO]

Russell Peters is a piece of crap, give your head a shake.  Gave him a chance, he was horrible.

[sylhetbeauty]

thats because your ass is stuck up on his criticism towards innocent childre...which you find perectly amusing!!!

I HOPE YOU ALL CHOKE ON OXYGEN!!!

WHO EVER THINKS THIS VIDEO WAS FUNNY!!!

[ishotgreedo]

oh, poor girl... do you have a retarded conjoined twin on top of your head? and if so, can i mouth-fuck it?

[Saigfock]

yes, choke on oxygen. please just stay off the internet forever.

[sylhetbeauty]

that is fucken horrible....how can he make a joke out of innocent babies?!!!!

get another job bitch.....your jokes aint funny looser

[scottbmyer]

Dont you get that it humor. Its doug's way of helping out. This 5 minutes of humor is the funniest, most uplifting, routine ever. I cant walk into a bar without looking for that two headed baby.

Think about all the good Doug does.hE has given the real ugly girl with a moles so big it could be mistaken for a baby head, a chance to get laid. Have you consider asking them if Doug has helped. Stop worrying about babies who dont know the difference and start caring about the ugly moley bitches

[DanceToTheRadio]

It is VERY funny.Don't even try to deny that.

[sylhetbeauty]

i'm not denying any shit....he is making fun of innocent babies. only people as heartless as himself do such a low down thing.

[DanceToTheRadio]

We're all in the gutter but some of us are staring at the stars,he's not one of them,he's looking you in the eye and grabbing you with violent realities through comedy.Which makes him the best type of person.A wordy worldly revolutionary.And a funny one too,he's given me something to believe in.Understand that.

[sylhetbeauty]

Believe in Making a joke out of babies who are suffering through health issues.

[DanceToTheRadio]

No he's taught me that nationalism is ridiculous and Paedophillia is mostly a media invented problem.There's been nobody so visceral and correct since Bill Hicks.

[Justin9Noble]

no he actually cares more than us.

[sylhetbeauty]

if he really did care...he wouldnt be on stage and embarassing the poor little girls who are suffering through such a rare situtation. Both of the little girls died, and before they did...this fucker goes on stage and makes a joke out of them!!!

Yah it shows how much this bitch cares!!!

[guyblin]

Get a grip. He's a COMEDIAN - the clue's in the job title you numb-nuts. If you don't like it, switch off, but don't whine like... well... a two-headed baby. So save you false, sanctimonius righteous indignation for someone who won't see through it.

[Genowulf]

haha! That was great!

[TetsuoShima07]

People should vote for him STANHOPE 08

[SocietysNitemare]

definitely. finally a president i can be proud of.

[antjone]

Is this the most extreme "bit" he's done? He's certainly pushed far out here.

Keep up the good work Doug.

[htu]

stanhope the master doug lives.

Stanhope 08.

[alex19856]

i think twenty years from now this bit will be considered classic, akin to Carlin's "seven dirty words."

[jayovbilly]

carlins seven deadly words was gooe, but i thinkn stanhopes a philosiphiser, akin 2 socrates.. ok maybe an exaggerashun but still, a kindred spirit

[steviecaldwell]

funny as fuck !! bring on some jerry sadowitz vids though , the master !!