Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer

[sounynoma]

2:05 caption

Google ''Xkcd sheeple''

[AliensHateUs]

Puerto Rican flag elected govenor of Puerto Rico? As a Puerto Rican I can say that I would have definately voted for Señor Bandera. God bless him.

[ikosabre]

"three-legged racoon" :D

[T1meW4st3d]

Cup of coffee ftw!

[1985MANAmericana]

I thought he would be from Flint

[FastLifeInc]

Tony Montana disliked this.

[diziamonddave]

Nicolas Mirra is the same dude that was a part of operation weezy f baby

[curtmastor]

"when police flipped one of his top leuitenants by offering him a cup of coffee it was the beginning of the downfall." LMFAO

[tiller021389]

I'm from Alabama and this video is one hundred percent accurate. the part about scrap metal and copper wire is spot on.

[bubbajolee]

Damnit! I used to buy from Daryl! Now what am I gonna do??!!

[ryotue]

nice to meet you

[stargazerr2012]

i thought this shit was real at first. these folks sure putting alot of thought and effort making this video..great job.

[thepower1802]

1:51 Is this Unforgivable???

[totalbadass500]

I love reading the words scrolling across the screen st the bottom "West Virginia changes motto to we got cheap smokes"

Lmao

[quizfeed]

Ya I'm from grand rapids! And i ski at cannonsburg

[fopedarmerr]

anybody else thinks he looks like stza?

[DrunkenSamurai18]

wat did they mean by "puerto rican flag elected governor of puerto rico"?

[weedfarmeruk]

Hahaha hes one of the smallest dealers ever his personal wealth was 4000$ haha

[TheYouwontgetit]

america is safe once again...!

[Raven555HH]

ew thats stza crack/scott sturgeon, I hope that fucker dies.

[btw3006]

This is so well done to the point where if I did not know that this was done by the Onion, I would have thought this was real.

[MrSafetymeeting]

@dgfrgdrs You're stupid for thinking this brilliant news network is a spoof. The onion is the most reliable source of info in news today.

[NickyAmerica]

Hey look it's Brad Pitt.

[Case632]

I. Am. Krogan!

[PurpleStorm8]

@Case632 nnnNNNNOOOOOooo!!

*Falls to my knee's*....I wanted that joke T-T...

[dfonzerrelli17]

Dammit.. why do i always fall for these. The first 2 minutes i was so into the story!

[NormacHC]

This is reminiscent of HLN

[amer1cancer2753]

He is the bernie madoff of the meth world

[fenriz218]

Meth? Bullshit! Everybody knows that nowadays it's mainly Jenkem killing the youth of America!

Jenkem killed both my brother and my mother, turning the neighbourhood into Jenkem-houses ... I shot it up my veins 5 times a day until, one day, I injected too much. It has shown me the way to Christ!

Today I'm a pastor in East-Virginia. God bless!

[gamerguy322]

@fenriz218 ...what?

[atmatheprophet]

Lol pairing lonely singles with wines.

[omenroc1]

Okay, I get it, but it's not funny.

[Prowsky]

Can someone explain the Puerto Rico joke to me?

[thepower1802]

1:52 ...Is this tattoo unforgivable??!

[AntiDemocraticRed]

The part where that meth dealer was arrested. Look closely at the other guy's face. It's the guy who played as the pedophile who was said to be Justin Bieber undisguised. Case Closed!

[SonOfTheMorning]

"managed to flip one of his top lieutenants by offering a cup of coffee" lol

[andrespereyda]

i want to sleep with Andrea Bennett

[viking977]

this also shows how shit life is for people in drug trade

[Mickeymouseclup]

s this real

[lovelee182]

if you had a piece of hot dog,and Darryl wanted it,he just took it..." lol

[davitodude]

Nobody ever lasts at the top.

[bud6961]

Krogen nicked named 'Babyface', because at 35 years old he looked a mere 63

lol

[jjrouse]

LOL @ the "Menagerie of Feral Cats" LOL!!!

[lovelee182]

@jjrouse...AND a 3 legged raccoon. lol

[Youtuuuber]

Feral cats :D

[63gstone]

$4,000 dollars?! Shit! Crogan is richer than me!

[jmart680]

@tikifreakazoid your right but the way pseudoephedrine is regulated you could probably make 2 grams thats it thats most blasters daily dose. or you could make lith dope. either way it isnt worth making it yourself.Thats why its made in mega labs in Mexico and not here in the US.

[krbosak]

This reminds me of multi-million dollar Osama hideout.

[jmart680]

@ShaithMaster its no joke homie, you can probably google it

[jmart680]

@FluffyTheStud lil kid dont question an ex dealer.

[jmart680]

Meth isn't cheap 15-20k a pound.

[FluffyTheStud]

@jmart680 your retarded i dont know much about meth but i know its not 15-20 thousand dollars a pound you just look stupid posting shit like that it makes you lose all your credibility

[ShaithMaster]

@FluffyTheStud i think that was a joke

[tikifreakazoid]

@jmart680 Dude, you can make it with shit in your house for twenty bucks.

[8soccer4life8]

search gandi bandi

[Horus515]

I agree that sometimes criminals are mythologized to a ridiculous degree but it's just as likely that they own rides and homes that aren't necessarily in their name and live mad lavish. I know it may pain a hater to think so...

[Justen1980]

@Horus515 you're supposed to hate on criminals and ruin their lives

[marcus1aurelius1]

if i saw this on the news i would believe it. that that make me dumb?

[Darkwave70]

the flag will make a far better governor than the one we have now. -_-

[SlyTheBlindGuy]

lol i love reading the captions, "while underlings walked to K-Mart to steal from dumpsters he rode the city bus like a king" i just fucking died right there.

[SylvanaForrester]

"his menagerie of feral cats." LOL

[dfunkt]

@SylvanaForrester

"and a 3-legged racoon."

lol

[SixSix567]

1:23 holding a baby

[AutumnViewer]

lol they catch him while he's selling video tapes.

[jackisnowouttabed]

I cannot get over how fucking stupid people are, asking if this is real, or thinking they found out it's fake. holy, FUCK.

[tomokeeffe]

FUCK NIGGERS

[pythag123]

One of the best ones, hands down.

[iliketodoitvids]

iliketodoit.ca - Do you like to vote? Check us out!

[LuniaVideo]

#LOL

[DatoneguyfromdaCA]

i cite the onion news on all my essays

[xXDennisThaGangstaXx]

OMFG 0:29 It's Claude Speed from GTA III(GTA 3)!!!

[ItsThatArmyGuy]

keep pressing 9 for "whores fills the void"

[xXDennisThaGangstaXx]

@ItsThatArmyGuy Keep pressing 9 fast and it will sound like Horse xD

[ThePresticle1]

What is this 'ROFL" and what does it mean? Am I in danger of ROFL? It seems we have alot of ROFL on this website, and i think I should contact Mr. Janet Napalitano with her "See something, Say Something" campaign. I am very frightened by this ROFL.

[heshaandfriends]

Put on CC and at the end reads whats already on the screen.

[Grizzlo503]

Psssh, this is nothing. A REAL meth dealer could make way more than this... maybe even up to $60!

[chess7390]

@Grizzlo503 Bull, this glamorizes the criminal lifestyle, most meth dealers make $30, rarely $40!

[xoxoballin025]

"if you had a hotdog, and daryl wanted it, he would just take it"

[mel577]

"Puerto Rican flag elected governor of Puerto Rico" ROFLLL

[clubpenguinsux1]

1:47,

boing boing boing boing

[ikosabre]

This is so true in it,s depiction of how criminals are sometimes mythologized to a ridiculous degree

[Zacml123]

@ikosabre i kinda think the point was that meth is a very bad drug.

[forestfiresmoketrees]

@Zacml123  you don't know shit about meth. Ignorant slut

[01kahoon]

SHOT THE SMALL MAN AS THE BIG MAN HIDE'S

[Vladek385]

He was scrap methals collector.

[TurianSupremacist]

epic just epic

[tatubelieber]

YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! 3-legged raccoon!!!!

[gangstarphil]

i laughed harder at this than any other onn video

[bkivalu1]

"Krogen rode on city bus like a king"

[bettyandmandy14]

hah....and now we all know that justin beiber isint a pedo.

[HitChy151]

WTF!?

[wewso]

Jesse Pinkman?

[Eirexeyes]

ahaha this is awesome! lol

[dpitzner]

@MrCarrolinaMuzik

MrSafteyMeeting is right so stop talking trash about the Onion.

[ThatSmoothOperator]

no way was he the wealthiest

[mediaman1994]

@ThatSmoothOperator haha your dumb

[ThatSmoothOperator]

@mediaman1994 you're*

[JavyPR55]

I wish the Puerto Rican flag really was governor over here.

[lchivy]

nicknamed babyface because at 35 years old he looked a mere 63 ahahaha

[DeathnoteBB]

@jackietoonkiomin Welcome to reality, care to make boasting remarks about how you found out it's fake? Really, everyone knows it's not real, stop acting like they're bullshitting us, because everyone already knows they're not and that it's all satire.

[MrSafetymeeting]

It's about time. Meth is bad and I am glad the cops have wiped out that problem. Now maybe they will have time investigate who's been in my garbage stealing all my cans.

[MrCarolinaMuzik]

@MrSafetymeeting ur a fuckin idiot, this is fake lmao u fail miserably

[MrSafetymeeting]

@MrCarolinaMuzik No. Everything on the Onion is real! I finally find a credible source of news and people like you are trying to discredit their work. Shame on you.

[MrCarolinaMuzik]

@MrSafetymeeting u said it dumbass, not my fault

[MrSafetymeeting]

@MrCarolinaMuzik What's not your fault? You're the one who chose to talk shit about the only good source of news in America today. Go watch your Fox news asshole.

[MrLaxdude89]

@MrSafetymeeting I hope that's a joke I really do

[snifyoner]

@MrLaxdude89 It was supposed to be.. but you just killed it.

[MrLaxdude89]

@snifyoner Mah job

[3I3c7r1cK1d]

@MrSafetymeeting Some of it is fake if you didn't noticed :P but still hilarious!

[ToothpasteCannon]

@3I3c7r1cK1d It's called irony :)

[3I3c7r1cK1d]

@ToothpasteCannon HAHA yea!

[kirielvids]

@MrSafetymeeting more credible than fox.

[cp69yoo]

@MrSafetymeeting I love you

[MrWoofington]

By-line at 1:45 --- "Krogen nicknamed Babyface, because at 35 years old he looked a mere 63"

hahahahaha... zing!

[deskset24]

"Xanadu" LOL!

Actually, I wish they would NOT have the crawler along with the news story.

I know The Onion wants to simulate real newscasts as much as possible, but it IS distracting.

[donstewartmac]

@jackietoonkiomin no shit, this is a comedy channel

[jtoznel]

1:43 four hands! 

[Sinsteel]

@jackietoonkiomin wow nice detective work sherlock...so you're telling me TheOnion is a parody?

[rellim21]

Bruised man found in ally way XD

[3abcd2]

"meteoric rise" wth lol

[hemet92544]

when the person that made this video dies and goes to heaven, God is going to go" so did you help feed the homeless? oh wait what is this video? "kicked out"

[Sinsteel]

@hemet92544 lol so what's god going to say to you? "did you make a video? oh wait no you just made an ignorant comment"

[hemet92544]

@Sinsteel nice try "sin" but no dice, I am on here preaching the word, that even you and me can be saved, and that's a shock....just say no to organized religion though, that's not where Jesus is

[Sinsteel]

@hemet92544 thanks "helmet", so you're trawling comedy videos and pontificating? I dont think that qualifies as preaching, more like being a pest.

It's offensive that you would come here to attack humour, if we couldn't laugh at ourselves and our society it would be a very grim world indeed.

What else do you think should be prohibited? Knowledge? Education? Science?

[hemet92544]

@hemet92544 get yourself into a soup kitchen or something, or going to have a problem with checking in upstairs , yes i vol at a soup kitchen twice a week, have fun

[18mudder]

@hemet92544 i think god would laugh for his creative way to put humor in use

[macnos]

109 people were ripped off by Darrel Krogan.

[itsmejunky]

"gaunt" tony was his rival LOL

[TRAVISinRENO]

lol burnnn on tweakers

[realbeautyness25]

turned his lieutenant with a cup of coffee OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh how I love the onion

[WhiteTiger225]

LOL @ Advertisement

Paper slandered hemp/marijuana when hemp was set to replace it in paper..... now its putting down Plastic XD

Also, why is Dave chapelle pointing to his tattoo?

[lhscf1]

How racial profiling can spice up your marriage lol! You have to watch every Onion video twice, once to watch the video and the second time to just read the news ticker at the bottom.

[MrPink4tw]

LMao, He had over $4000 dollars!

[ubermonkey120]

HE IS (Darrel) KROGAN!

[avi10131]

puase at 1:25

[muxmedia7]

@avi10131 why?

[MonstahhB]

Lol. Read the bottom scroll.

-Happening now in Orlando: Trip to Disney Land inspires 10-year-old to go into marketing.

-Happening now in Seattle: Everyone on bus thinking they're the one normal person on bus.

-Budget cuts forcing schools nationwide to eliminate thousands of nonessential students.

[Hardcorehipo]

..and a three legged raccoon.

[Blackops981]

4 Grands is a lot of money.

[morais691alexandre]

@Blackops981 As a the profit of a whole life in drug dealing it aint. Even working for 2 years in a crappy part time job as a security guard i made more than that.

[Chicklo11]

actually this ones pretty realisitic, if I hadn't seen the Justin Bieber story the onion did, i'd buy it

[darthspeaks]

People make fun of Meth addicted people - I feel so sorry for them. I really do.

[wily4]

omg that woman reporter is so hot...

[datzfast]

even his ejaculate was rancid.

[itchyundies]

lol meth heads are like bower birds

[TheatreOfAwesomness]

0:25

"Happening now in San Fransisco: Standing in empty baseball stadium finally gives man perspective"

Hilarious xD

[Rayzser]

Stupid Krogan. Stomping on everything they can.

[evolawonder]

i'm with STUPIDS

[theworddoner]

poor broke bastards!

[Didymosrules]

the guy at the right on 1:47 is the same actor who played in the Justin Bieber 51 year old pedophile Onion video. If you watch the 51 year old pedophile video at 0:17 you can see that the two are the same. Looks like he was a drug dealer as well. I knew Bieber would turn out like this.

Heil Octavia!

[GuInEaPiGlOvEr111]

they called krogan a monster. any other mass effect and mass effect 2 players?

[cookiepwnsU]

@GuInEaPiGlOvEr111 this was made by the rachni to make krogan look bad

[PhanWithRevenge]

@cookiepwnsU +1 for mass effect reference

[VengfulX]

@cookiepwnsU NERDSPEAK FTW

[proofish]

@cookiepwnsU this is why we should have gased the rachni queen. they might start another war with the krogan!

[hitman1cs]

haha

[ENTVV]

a cup of coffee

[A7XRules4life]

I... Am... KROGAN!!!!!

Aw, come on, no one else here has played Mass Effect/2?

[Snuvs]

That bearded guy is also in a mental hospital making what sounds like bee noises.

[Corzizzle]

@Olafvz get your ass outta here fucker

[roboshuffle]

King Krogen.

[acme181169]

Nasty bastard, hopefully he'll get 20 to life the scumbag. The death penalty is too much to hope for.

Parents should make their children watch this so they can just say no to drugs!

[ryukXsayu27]

@acme181169 OK but just don't hear any stories about marijuana or cocaine kingpins. I have a feeling you might get a heart attack.

[uptop84]

lol at the end says "Puerto Rican flag elected as governor of Puerto Rico" funny shit

[JesusTheRipper333]

@fenriz218 Isn't it surprising how a little shit shot up your veins will take you to christ? Lucky you didn't overdose - it might have converted you to islam ... :D

[MrBellerophon]

pause at 1:47 -that guy is the one who plays bieber in a later onion episode.

[crowtservo]

@MrBellerophon Holy crap, it is. It's like the Onion is just making these stories up instead of reporting on real news!!!

[MrBellerophon]

@crowtservo theirs is better. ;)

[DmBuffett]

@MrBellerophon Incorrect thats just the pedophile buying meth.

[robbykhu]

@MrBellerophon no! silly! bieber is a meth dealing pedo.

[darthspeaks]

@MrBellerophon It is so easy to make fun of people who's lives are complete hell. Instead of making fun of them so much we should seek to care for them.