October 4th: Happy Dances, Feuds, and Raccoon Infestations

[hppanther12]

I'm for Fiona Apple, too.

[mthsbandrocks]

You guys should just argue over who pooped in the Nintendo. ^_^

[TeamStarkid96]

both part 3 & part 4 *sigh* just too awesome for words

[wisosder]

Zombie unicorns!

[silverdragon1314]

I vote for Airship Pirates with Ninja skills!! 8D

[hmol257]

What is so profoundly troubling about unicorns? I am confused here... And as for puppies vs. kittens, that's a dangerous question. Very dangerous. Good thing you added the bit about kittens still being adorable anyway. You might survive the kitten-apocalypse. MIGHT.

Oh, and you forgot one other very important question: PIE or CAKE?

[dftbawolf]

i am way to late

[personifyingchaos]

So then, I am one of the rare few nerdfighters whose happy dance is purely torso-based? I don't even stand up with mine. Heck, I don't even need to take my hands away from the KEYBOARD. I AM SPECIAL!

[MrNemBooks]

Unicorns.

[hinatahyuuga120]

a dargon fairy not dragon or fairy, why not love money not love or money, ninja pirates prites who were ninja but became pirets for moeny, green and red apples, i cant make a thing for lakes and rivers i like lakes cuz i love to sail, a puppy kitten, mary akte and ashly tie, book moives, text videos, and fianly zombie unicorns, ia m huge for combinign stuff

[textingnonstop1]

I watched this entire video (and then typed this comment) with a stapler on my head.

[thehumanfruitsalad]

ninja pirates

hiy-arg

[PrettyLoather]

I love racoons. I hope you didn't get them hurt. They are so cute. In the summers I help take care of orphaned racoons, and I take them for walks and feed them.  Very jokes. Their little feet feel like gummy bears b/c they are so squishy.

[lepracaun93]

Ninjas. I'm so with John on this.

[FotCJemainiac]

"I think that might be related to our general inability to, you know...bust a move."

also

"Unicorns or Zombies? *ponders* ...zombies, although I'm PROFOUNDLY troubled by both."

God...words just cannot express how happy these videos make me.

[tekna2908]

My ancestors were pirates (vikings actually, vikings were pirates) so PIRATES!

[carbonatedcheese]

well, but.. pirates have withstood the test of time. do even ninjas actually still exist? apart from movies?

[browneyednerd112358]

Rivers vs. Lakes? Rivers. Especially River Tam.

[INTPTT]

Dragons vs Fairies? How is that  a fair contest?

[GoCubs3425]

Go Cubs!

[Rayne0804]

i love how Outside became a proper noun in this....

[jaziybabe]

NINJAS!!!!!! :D

[TheFlameingBurito]

Dear John:

While I can see how dragons, in all their majesty, can be very appealing and very awesome I must disagree with you. Faeries, or the Fey in general, are basis for most fantasy it being direct or indirect. Not only that, but they're unpredictable and quite clever, while dragons tend to fall into sterotypes. Also, dragons eat your children while faeries simply steal them and raise them themselves- it's like, agressive adoption.

DFTBA,

A real-life nerdfighter

[GONEmypurpleflapjack]

@TheFlameingBurito Maybe faeries should run the EBO?

[TheFlameingBurito]

@GONEmypurpleflapjack I think we have an orphanage reform on our hands. It'd be brilliant- faeries are already somewhat removed from human goings-on, so they wouldn't be tempted to tamper with the past aside from the evil-baby-napping. That and they do not recognize currency, and will work for free.

You, dear sir (unless you are a woman, then dear ms.) are brilliant.

This also provides another reason as to why faeries are a cut above dragons. :)

[GONEmypurpleflapjack]

@TheFlameingBurito But dragons can cook bacon with their breath. Also I am a Ms.

--DFTBA

[LetLovesOwls]

woohoo ninjas!



[gilbertgrandeur]

I'm sorry but did Guybrush Threepwood want to be a mighty ninja? No. Really, I'm sorry but pirates just have so much more charisma. Ninjas are the strong, silent, hiding in the ceiling beams type that will always be underrated.

[LifeMustard]

My happy dance looks like a baby bird trying repeatedly to fly, but failing every time.

[singlexfilexisxlove]

And honestly, I don't even want to be your brother anymore if you're not for rivers.

[219kenzie]

Pirates vs. Ninjas? What about pirates with ninja skills?

[RecklessNocturne]

chicago cubs! :D

and puppies > kittens

and ninjas > pirates.

yay, we agree. hahaha.

[CalmDownRELAX]

Pirates because one piece.

[pienkunicorn]

@CalmDownRELAX what about naruto?!

(though i haven't seen one piece yet)

[EmmyBea]

Lol about the zombies vs. unicorns thing cuz I was just rereading a story from a book called Zombies vs Unicorns. And that story happened to have been written by secret sister Maureen Johnson.

[alicia0950]

Excuse me? Who the heck could prefer pirates? Ninjas are like 50183498741 times better.

[XTimTheEnchanterX]

1.Fairies 2.Love 3.Ninjas 4.Red Apples 5.Lakes, but only because i live on one. 6.Puppies 7.The smarter one. 8.Whichever story is better. 9.Whichever is more descriptive. 10.Depends on the type of zombie, is it fast or slow, and the type of unicorn, nice or evil.

[Zotov13]

Ok, that's 200 (plus one hidden one on John's channel) down, and <=600 to go.

[elliot0E]

Zombicorns!

[elliot0E]

Zombiecorns!

[Corey5268]

PIRATES!? Please, if you put a pirate and a ninja in a room together, the pirate would be dead before he (or she) could say "arr, I suspect there be a ninja behind me"...or just "arr" for that matter.

[SammieSoda16]

YOU BETTER PUT THAT WICKER BASKET BACK BETWEEN BOOKS ABOUT ISLAM AND BOOKS ABOUT CHRISTIANITY!

phew, that was close.

[BecauseJustBecause]

@SammieSoda16 ilu 8D <3

[DCJellybean]

my happy dance is very hip centric....in a good way!

[drchoochoo]

"you have to separate them with the wicker basket so they don't get angry at each other."

[ClocksInMyPlace]

Yes, you chose ninjas!!!

[silverturtle14]

ninjas ftw

[Sebastianin2010]

@eminem4infinity well put :) Plus Ninjas have 100% Dodge chance, a pirate would be like 'CANNON' and a ninja would just be like *DODGE* *DODGE* *DODGE* *FATALITY*

[Sebastianin2010]

Ninja's are just so much better :) What do Pirates have that Ninjas can't beat?

[eminem4infinity]

@Sebastianin2010 uumm.... how bout....

NOTHING.

[williusethis]

FIONA APPLE FTW.

[jaytummy]

Wait, YOU are for text, not video??? The one doing the 365 day, no textual communication adventure?? I am very confused right now

[cibomatto47]

Fiona Apple is made of awesome. Always.

[TheKnightBus218]

The transcribed captions for this are hilarious.

[tunagirl12]

I feel for you John, we had opossums in our house.

[bufar]

So starts John hates Unicorns.

[aerofreak44]

My happy dance is very..... spastic.like its me looking at the floor spinning in circles shaking my arms and like doing the can-can.

ps. the day u made this vid was the day i turned 12 just a random thought

[TaererTaereronthewal]

That basket was the same one that separates the christian and muslim books in your library! It makes me feel happy to know that fact =)

[spike123456789987654]

@TaererTaereronthewal what he did was dangerous as the Christianity books and Islam books could of had a crusade. John shouldn't have done that.

[xbookfreekx]

My happy dance is hand centric. I clap. A LOT.

[NationalWonder]

There should be a Guinness World Record for the most stuff put on someone's head.

[TheTokenNerd]

i dont like rivers one tried to kill me when i was ten while my brother his friend and my friend stood and laughed at me cause they thought my horror movie scream was from joy not terror

[artvandelay13]

Your relationship with outside sounds a lot like my relationship with summer...

[charlandlen]

PIRATES PWN!

[HockeyHottie23]

damn it !!! my name is Fiona and all i heard for years was....." oh your name is Fiona......like Fiona Apple?" to which i replied " no like my whole own kind of Fiona......thanks.............­..preps"

hahahahaha

[coconutDR]

Ninja

Unicorn

Green apple

Puppies

Love

Dragons

Rivers

Books

Text

[megahappypinkskitty]

uhh the one that doesn't hve a cocain problem

that made my day

[jack16895]

@megahappypinkskitty they dont need cocaine, try endorphins, theyre great. I call them the brains heroine. :)

[DanRaccoon]

MAY GOD! IT'S MARCUS BRIGSTOCKE!

[1my2username3sux4lol]

@DanRaccoon why had i neer made that connection before

[pete275]

Ninja Fairies.

[pseudocaveman]

"And one of the boundaries is OUTSIDE IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY HOME."

Thanks. I nearly spit water all over my laptop.

[eragonlover1]

Dragons.

And: I love the Goonies!

[trapjohnson]

Boo, GO Cards!!!

[LoveShiaGDSN]

1)Dragons...but faeries can be pretty gnarly.

2)To quote the good Sir Paul McCartney "Can't Buy Me Love" :)

3) In a fight Ninjas would totally win, but honestly I'd rather watch a Pirate movie than a Ninja movie. P.S. THE GOONIES IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER!!!!

4) Green Apples. never liked the taste of red ones. and yes, I get the reference to Fiona Apple...lol.

5)rivers

6)puppies

7)Ashley

8)Books

9)depends. videos can be pretty jokes.

10) Zombies

[GravityProductionz]

id probably pick ninjas, but have u seen the anime "One Piece" that makes being a pirate all the more cool, like it reinvented the cool in pirates... so did pirates of the Caribbean i must say.

[punkslilncs]

The only way I would want to be a pirate is if I was captain of a ship, but then you have to worry about mutiny. I really am not liking the lets work for some jerk how really loves the letter R and get paid poor and probably die while working kinda job.

[tunawrangler1]

ninjas all the way, ninjas = super jokes

[bookwormdaisy]

I love pirates and ninjas, but ninjas. Are. The. Best. Ninjas pwn pirates.

Unicorns vs. Zombies-- I would pick unicorns, but just 'cause I love unicorns. Well, and I hate zombies.

"Actually, you might pick money. God, you love money." Teehee!

[CeriLouise25]

woah puff levels. =]

[ShadeStar64]

Most ninja's are better than most pirates. The one grand exception is Naruto Vs. One Piece.

One Piece Pirates=Jokes

Naruto Ninjas=Not Jokes

[prongslover77]

Goonies never say die! Books>movies ninjas>pirates but johnny depp pwns

[cayrano]

Ninja's pwn pirates > Nerdfighters pwn Ninja's

[peoplecallmeagoth]

NINJAS PWN!

they are the best.

pirates smell.

[MissSpazztastic]

Ninjas and Zombies, FTW!

[latopaz]

Ninjas can sneak onto the boats and kill all of the pirates. Ninja's all the way.

[rynox45]

Just a few book titles I found on my shelf.

Blood fever in your pants.

Mewtwo strikes back in your pants.

Team rocket blasts off in your pants.

Artemis Fowl: the seventh dwarf in your pants.

How to speak dragonee in your pants.

[proXstalker]

I love Artemis Fowl!!!!!!!!!!

[AerieIsAmazing]

Ninjas all the way.

[katieCarissa]

PIRATES > ninjas

[polindsay]

I feel the exact same way about outside.

[Fralmunk]

Dragons zombies and books all the way CX

[SteveVader101]

my happy dance is shoulder centric.

[skyelightning]

Dragons

Love

Ninjas

Red apples

Rivers

Kittens

Neither

Books

Video

And oh my gosh, did you just insult unicorns? Cuz you insulted me! I'm one of the last of my kind!

[itsthegunnster]

Oh. My. Friggin. Gosh. Look behind you! It's "HOW WE DIE..." IN MY PANTS!!!

(I apologize if you point that out in a future video.)

[itsthegunnster]

And by future video I mean past video that was created on a date between October 4th 2007 and March 9th 2009.

[lalalaamichelle]

Ninjas are cooler if the pirate in question is not from the mind of the theatrical genius that is Johnny Depp.

[senorsqueakydesk]

dragons (brute force)

love (needs no justification)

ninjas (not even a question)

red apples (preference of sweet over sour)

rivers (generally less stagnant)

kittens (infinitely cuter, although they do grow into cats)

ashley (ummm...she comes first alphabetically)

books (inspire the imagination)

text (so much faster and easier)

unicorns (I don't like the idea of the undead)

[bouncyangel]

Dragons

Love

Pirates

Red Apples

Rivers

Puppies

Mary-Kate

Books

Text

Unicorns

[nikkibatoy]

fairies

love

ninjas

red apples

rivers

puppies

mark kate

ashley

text

unicorns lol

[merbears8]

I hope you didn't hunt those racoons ;-( Dragons or Fairies...hmm thats hard Love Pirates (GOONIES!!! WOO) Green apples. Rivers. Kittens AND Puppies Mary Kate Books Video Zombies.

[alyx22]

dragons

love

pirates

green apples

lakes

puppies

neither

books

text

ZOMBIES

[KavithaisPadfoot]

Dragons Love NINJAS. Red apples Rivers Puppies Uh... Will Smith BOOKS. Video Zombies Haha I got almost all of those in common with John. =]

[memyselfiamweird]

Dragons

Love

NINJAS

Red Apples, although I prefered green when younger..

Rivers

KITTENS

neiiither?

Boooooks :D

Text

And Unicorns, Hank's right on this one. <3

[ShawnayNay]

fairies. love. ninjas. FTW !! PWNED* red apples. puns anybody, puns? _lol rivers. puppies. niether. books and movies* text. unicorns. _dftba !!

[kira902k]

woah woah is this where the zombies vs unicorns fight originated?? :O

[maggielovesdrwho]

zombies?!?! WHAT?!?!

zombies are bad! they eat you! and the brains that we need to be effective nerdfighters! are you crazy!!!!

[littletoolate]

PIRATES PIRATES PIRATES all the way!!

Why?

Because pirate jokes are awesome.

I've never heard any awesome ninja jokes...

[Bstrong9211]

you know why there are no awesome ninja jokes....

because no one messes with ninjas

[dawnatthedisco]

ew, pirates. they're always drunk, and even if they weren't drunk they wouldn't hear/see/feel a ninja in the room.

ninjas all the way :D

[loocytl]

Fiona Apple is awesome.

[rabidvampire0422]

I own all three of your  books now! I love Christmas!!!!!

[girlwithfangs]

We call our stage crew 'ninjas' PWN.

[devonhayley]

Really? Cause ninjas just sneak up and whatnot.. theyre DEFINATELY more cooler-er.

[14hp1]

You mean more jokes?

[Director705]

I don't know, I'm going to have to go with pirates.

[Amiryfey]

who's against rivers? Lol

[DittoFreak]

Comment 193:

Raccoons look cute :D

I'm more for lakes I'm afraid.

Plus, what's this "Pwnd" thing I keep hearing about?

[WaytoRandom]

Hehe pwnd is just like 'owned' with a p on the front. Its pretty much when you completely beat someone at something, usually used by gamers (me...on a regular basis)

Haha hope that helps!

P.S Awesome to see other nerdfighters on the same quest as I am (watch every single video!!!)

[littletoolate]

It was originally a typo though, because P is next to the O on the keyboard so when people tried to type "owned" really fast they would accidentally write "pwned" instead XD

[Thegreatnolan]

In the background!!! "How We Die"...In Your Pants!!!!!

[iBsteveT]

Pirates.

[NpPro93]

ninjas ftw!

[latuacantanta20]

you are seriously so cute : )

[liansch]

hmm as interesting as all these questions are.. I'm kind of distracted by a book in the background with the amazing title: How We Die...

sounds like a great book *googles*

[t3gan]

Hey, a year ago. Jokes.

DTBA.

[t3gan]

Oh, wow, that's sad. Obviously I meant DFTBA.

Sorry.

I should really look at things properly before pressing "Post Comment".

[Pinky242]

Dude! Ninjas and Dragons Pwn!!! (oh, and kittens all the way)

[maguireandnina]

fairies love ninjas green apples lakes (sorry) kittens hmm... books text unicorns w00t!

[ZoeMoi]

How we die... in my pants xD

[MaximoBean]

Fairies!

Love <3!

Pirates...arr!

Red applies. Fiona Applies is just okay.

Rivers.

Puppies :)!

Mary Kate. That was written reluctantly.

Books! Although I'm a film student, I'm rejecting my own cause.

Text!

Unicorns! Although I could do with neither.

[nerdra]

Does anything actually go INTO Wicker Basket, or does it only act as a buffer between Home Library Christianity and Home Library Islam?

It seems an empty existence.

...pun intended, to my shame.

[nerdfightersftw]

Dragons. Love. Ninjas. But pirates do pwn. Red apples. Rivers. Puppies. Um... neither? BOOKS. But I love movies. Text. Unicorns. DFTBA.

[lizzimy]

Dragons

Love

NINJAAAAAAAAASSSSS!!!!!!

green apples

Rivers

Puppies

Ashley

Books

Video

Neither...0.0

[dougiedannyluv]

NINJAZZZZ

[REMsleeper428]

Go Cubs!

[swimminglizard202]

Faeries

Love

Ninjas

...green apples, I guess

Lakes

Puppies

neither, or both. I liked them when they were little.

books

text

unicorns; I had nightmares after reading HP6.

[dnce10looksthree]

PIRATENINJAS FTW!

Also, I am for lakes, but mainly because the overnight camp I went to growing up was/is on a lake.

[elvendorkendra]

You're a cubs fan...wow that is just notsome...JK!!!

DFTBA

Brewers FTW!

[harleyfiona]

FIONA APPLES!

I love her music.

^_^

[unoriginallywitty]

Dragons Love Pirates (YES SERIOUSLY.) Red Rivers (but it's almost a tie) Puppies (but again, almost a tie) Don't... know enough to care, really. Books Text Unicorns DFTBA!

[zrg48]

ninjas are awesome

[lindemonien]

Dragons Love Ninjas Red Apples Rivers Kittens Ashley (Because she didn't have the "Problems") Books and Movies (I can't Choose) Video Zombies What Happened to the Raccoons?

[myrobotpanda]

Dragons

Love

ninjas

neither (hate apples)

Rivers

Kittens

none

books

Text

Zombies

[Hogwartian]

i think your happy dance is actually pretty well balanced! hank's could use a bit of leg action perhaps?? fairies love pirates green! rivers puppiessss (scared of cats!!!) neither!!!! books video unicorns

[luckoflindsay]

Fairies Love Pirates! (Though ninjas are kickass too, my heart goes to pirates...) Red Rivers Puppies(but kittens are adorable!) When they were younger I was so Mary-Kate cause I liked her name but now I'm sooo Ashley! Books! Video! Unicorns! :]

[luckoflindsay]

Actually I think....I MAY have to say movies.....but its soooo hard! I love books but I love movies too much!

[whitefluffyhat]

I watched this video with a calculator on my head.

Now I know I'm a nerdfighter.

[NoirRock]

Dragons

Love

Pirates

Red

Rivers

Puppies

Mary-Kate

Movies

Text

Zombies

[partyweetow]

Yes! Cubs fans! *does happy dance*

[chrissyjeano]

Cubs fans FTW!

[smj497]

this vid was made on my birthday

[obliosguitar]

My relationship with outside is the same thing!

[morot172]

Dragons.

Love.

Pirates. (!)

Red apples.

Rivers.

Kittens.

Mary-Ashley. Have no idéa.

Movies.

Text.

Zombies.

[Willowchild4]

Ninjas are nerdtastic

[Starlysh]

So I was searching raccoons and I was pleasantly surprised when this video popped up! So I had to watch it again. =D

It's almost 3 am and there's a raccoon in my attack and it's *crying* and dragging stuff around. And then I blasted The Beatles' Rocky Raccoon, and it's still crying. Gah.

Anyways...woot nerdfighters!

[Kloib]

ha! in your attack :P

[Starlysh]

whoops! lol...I don't proof read. *attic

[VPTerry]

Ninjas definitely win hands down. Pirates wouldn't ever see them coming...they'd be dead before they could fire a single cannon

[mcflyloveme]

i would like to move like a ninja, and look like a pirate, that would be awesome

[PsychoCellist]

Pirates? What's up with pirates? Team ninja for the win!

Profoundly disturbed by unicorns? How can this be?

Puppies are adorable...so are kittens. And I'm on team lake. Because where I come from, there are, like, -looking it up-, more than 11,000 lakes. And pretty much...no rivers.

Swampy-marshy-creek things, sure. But rivers? Not many.

[chrissyjeano]

yay cubs!

[charosaurus]

"our inability to... you know... 'bust a move'"

TOO TRUE

[ElaynesFavorites]

I don't know... I'm a total Nerdfighter and my bff and I can frackin dance like nobody's frackin business.

But also, I am kind of a semi-popular nerdfighter. And by semi-popular, I mean, I really don't want to admit it.

[charosaurus]

wait - what don't you want to admit? that you are a nerdfighter?

[ElaynesFavorites]

No, that I'm a popular one. That makes me feel kind of, Un-Nerdfighter-ish...

[charosaurus]

oh nonsense! you can be popular AND be a nerdfighter!

[potterwatch]

faeries, love, pirates, green, lakes (sry just when I was five I had a bad experiance white water rafting), puppies, Mary-Kate, books, text, unicorns.

[erinrockssocks]

ninjas pown hardcore.

[AliceInWorthlesstown]

Faeries, love, pirates, green, rivers, kittens, Mary-Kate, books, video, zombies.

I win!!

[omgmt19]

NINJAS! FTW!

[kakashiwithoutmask]

dragons, love, ninjas (naruto ftw), green apples, lakes (sorry john), uhm both puppies and kittens!, orlando bloom, BOOKS!! (duh), either is good, and er...zombie unicorns?

[DoodieFaceXX]

Ummm Ninjas completely own! I mean come on! Beverly Hills Ninja and Mythbusters Ninja Special!

[xweirdsister1x]

my happy dance is leg-centric :)

[SaskatoonyJack]

Haha! Your hair in this video reminds me of the Flock of Seagulls' lead singer's hair. He however, had to style his for hours to achieve that look.

Ninjas all the way. They've got stealth.

[RahOhReplica]

Oh my jesus at the hair in this xD

and uhhh, def unicorns pwn zombies

[kaitlynwithakay]

Ninjas and puppies ftw!

Ooh...what about NINJA PUPPIES???

[rawkarpojk]

I go for puns! Puns rewl! They always do!

I'm going to have to agree w/ John on fact that ninjas pwn pirates because, as John said in a question Tuesday video, pirates are one-legged drunks and ninjas are exten