Ambassador Stages UN Coup, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions

[Wirelessburner]

I was ranked the third leading in Non-linear masturbation! I was the The third Biggest Jack-Off right behind George Bush Jr. and Hillary Clinton. I was even granted a Doctoral Scholarship based on my masturbation technique and had aspirations of joining the 2011 Olympic Winter Masterbation Games, but, I threw it all away when I decided to get Laid.

[insight0011]

where can i get that ONN jacket??

[TheoneknownasVC]

lol a more powerful postition, like mayor of a small town or coach of a little league team! rofl

[tommysch]

Damn do I miss those African dictators... You dont see many of those nowdays.

They were fucking pimpin, spending a year worth of national revenues in a single crowning! That is sound economic policy!

watch?v=bFJx8hMmq9w

[shadowC10ne]

Agree, UN is useless. The best they can do is condemn some countries for some actions (and most of the time not even that). Beside that, it's just as useful as the League of Nations.

[thecapone45]

LMAO! then what is 12th grade level?

[drjonasson19]

@thecapone45 don't forget post secondary. I hold a phd in advanced masturbation

[Umprella]

Dikembe Mutombo?

[Didymosrules]

Imagine the Ugandan dictator leader of a little league team! The world is surely doomed!!!!!

[googy666]

The UN is useless lol

[kecks69cam]

Find out how you and your spouse can spice up your sex life with a video of a woman blowing a horse rotfl

[richardWW1]

haha if the hole world tried to take on china AND the united states it would me a massicure of epic preportions. they would only push the two most dangerous nations into an alliance.

[potatoecurt]

@richardWW1 youre fucking retarded

[underlordgc]

@richardWW1 dude r u forgetting the fact that Russia has snipers that can shoot 5-10 miles away (supposedly) and that they have a bomb 5 times bigger then a nuke? china has all the money not the weapons, they'll just increase pay 2 10cents a day and countries all around the world will flock 2 them, theirs a difference ya know

[brownkv081]

@underlordgc ...Are you retarded...10 mile sniping? What the fuck are they using, a rail gun?

[raymond2031]

@underlordgc

Your fucking stupid hahahahahaha!

[underlordgc]

@raymond2031 thats what they claim, im not making it up, i don't belive it can reach 10 miles but i can belive 5 miles since israels planes can hit a target 40 miles away, and thier not exactly a very innovative country

[LolCaramelz]

@richardWW1

Wow, you're some kind of genius.

You are correct, if the "hole" tried to take on those two countries it would be a "massicure" of epic "preportions". Oh! So close on that last one! Well, at least you tried sounding it out.

[Nulono]

"To close its innumerable doors" LMAO

[zorpher123]

this was definitely one of the oinion's best imho

[bloodshot991]

dislickes



[soulhunter4444]

I was there at that convention and barely left with my orifices unmolested.

Let us have a moment of silence for those who have had unwanted appendages inside them.

[Fancysymbol]

Whatever happened to that guy? I haven't seen him in any recent Onion videos.

[tommybui]

what's eight grade level?

[bh3ader]

lol the U.N. cant even ban a small country from legalizing slavery and they like to draw lines (korea, vietnam etc) and fails horribly. waste of taxpayer money i say

[allwittynamestaken]

@bh3ader did you know genocide has happened 8 times since their foundation? bunch of lame ass pussies if you ask me...

[vicodinzz]

Value, the UN's 'army' is composed of units of other countries armies (mostly pakistan and india right now) and any resolution they pass is essentially non-binding. Not to mention that the U.S is one of the primary funders of the UN. The UN was formed by the allied powers of WWII to try to prevent another world war from happening, a task which thankfully they've succeeded in thus far. If your worried about a new world order look at the World Bank or the IMF.

[ValueFreedom]

The UN is trying to disarm the public in every free nation, they are trying to build an army loyal to the UN & their elitist goals of a One World Government/New World Order. Don't let this vid fool ya, the UN is the foundation for a One World Government where the elite get to rule without any real opposition. Many within our gov in free nations try to give the UN more money & more power, hence why Obama wanted to sign the Treaty himself, & the US economic sovereignty be damned. Watch em closely

[underlordgc]

@ValueFreedom your a retard, how the hell is the UN going 2 do that? maybe china will try but the UN? you may as well be saying that the UN actually gets $hit done.

[ValueFreedom]

@underlordgc Anyone who opens with "your a retard" tells me right away you're just a kid. It's not your fault that you dont' know. But if you reply a little more decently, when you ask about the UN... I'd tell ya straight up. You could start by looking up the Copenhaggen Treaty (which Obama supported signing, but couldn't cus he needed approval from the Senate). I have a copy, I could send it to you if you'd stop being a little prick. The UN wants more power, the IMF/World Bank support it. Think

[ValueFreedom]

Hmmm

[Nubiex7]

more powerful position such as being a mayor of a small town or a manger of a little league team

fucking lol

[Kr4zyAc3]

lol could deploy troops from 2 to 5 years lol man those military guys must be fast

[KingKongRules001]

Okay, every from now on lets rate stupid comments up so we can all laugh at it. XD

[Iamjustherek]

No! Not the manga convention!!

[St2udent]

not again!!! lolz

[SatanIsSatanic]

so true about the masturbating rofl

[TheRealEricLester]

lol masturbating at an 8th grade level

[gangstabib]

whats 8th grade level looooool.

[WarriorWithNoPurpose]

lol Dolphin-safe vodka!

[chromaholic]

lol @ Request for authorization to crush the nations of United States and China.

[lastwill12]

@bryanguy1

silly people on youtube make me want to facepalm them

[dkidane]

lil league! xD LMFAO

[Trapspringer888]

You guys don't understand comedy do you? Its called satire morons. Look the word up in the dictionary.

[bryanguy1]

this is another reason why hate watching right wing conservative media out let they are just tring to scare people I havent seen this on cnn

[muzzyboy83]

UN resolutions are non-binding for everyone.

[muzzyboy83]

Then there would be no YouTube.

[TehCybernerd]

How would a giant raping tentacle ruin a manga convention?

Also, 1001st!

[bizzlelad]

1:31 - 1:42 SLEW ME!!!

[raythetse]

i'm up to the tenth grade level myself

[suffocatingrandomnes]

As much as i think about it i still don't understand? Can you explain cause it's repeating in my head like a bad pop song

[PaulyCatz82]

lmao seriously though...when has the UN actually made any significant difference in world affairs?

[Aeon135]

@PaulyCatz82

only when the global power lets it

[muzzyboy83]

@Aeon135

So you'd give an unelected body like the UN more power?

[Aeon135]

@muzzyboy83

my beliefs on power are to complicated and unusual to talk about in youtube comments, a group like the UN not being elected is despicable, but the US government fares no better

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

The Irish, Australian, British, and American governments are all free, democratic nations. Unlike your beloved United Nations which is nothing more then a place where countries like Zimbabwe and China which lack freedom of speech, demand to be heard.

[Aeon135]

@InfuriatedCondom

beloved? ouch, im against the UN, im a confederal socialist ie: im against the centralization of "socialist states" (if they can be called that)

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

Tsk tsk, I guess you're one of these trust fund brats who thinks he's a socialist. Were you not alive during the Cold War little child?

[Aeon135]

im 27 and I teach political science, i'v spent most of my life studying political ideology, i know what I am.

why are you insulting me? i've done nothing wrong.

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

27? You're just a little boy. If you lived here in Australia, you would have had your arse kicked.

[Aeon135]

you have proven how mature you are through this, you don't insult people you don't know for no reason, you don't know me, you don't get to just harrass people because they believe differantly from you, that's exactly what your doing.

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

Confederal socialists = white supremacists

[Aeon135]

huh? white supremacist's are neo nazi's, and are always against decentralization

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

Wrong. Every neo-Nazi I encounter claims to be a "confederal socialist".

Why is it that you Irish cunts never condemn dictators like Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Fidel Castro, and Robert Mugabe but always condemn freely elected governments in Britain and Australia?

[Aeon135]

@InfuriatedCondom

whats your problem? i've done nothing wrong

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

Shouldn't you be chucking bombs at Protestants? It's a shame you don't live in Australia because I would be happy to kick you in the arse.

[Aeon135]

@InfuriatedCondom

I'm an atheist, i'd never hurt anyone based on there religion, you would hurt me based on where i come from, that's racism.

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

You claim to be a teacher, yet you don't even know the proper form is THEIR.

lol. Do you even know what racism is dumb fuck?

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

racism - a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race.

YOU FAIL

[Aeon135]

What in the world is wrong with you?

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

I hate bastards like you.

[Aeon135]

What did I do?

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

You're incredibly thick and dumb.

[Aeon135]

1. I've done nothing to show that.

2. If that was the case, then you passionately hate me because im not as smart as you, that's repulsive

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

1. Wrong. You've consistently shown that you are incredibly thick and dumb by claiming to be a "confederal socialist" and for claiming I was a racist when I've never said anything even vaguely racist.

2. How is that repulsive? I hate incredibly stupid people because they fuck everything up.

[InfuriatedCondom]

@Aeon135

I shouldn't say that I hate you, I pity you and your parents having such a daft cunt as a child.

[tissuekins]

@InfuriatedCondom

wow man, you sure showed him how intelligent you are by insulting him at every turn. Great job you mature, contributing member of society.

[Aeon135]

@InfuriatedCondom

i can only say that stupid people don't fuck things up. It is hateful people who ruin the world, "stupidity" didn't cause the holocaust, good bye

[Postbit2]

@Aeon135 the a vagina around your faced cause the holocaust you nazi

[supergeno941]

you're absolutly right. i'm not taking sides, but think about it. if ou disagree, you say that during the holocaust, no one hated Jews. think about it!

[tissuekins]

@InfuriatedCondom

haha, I'm from canada. hahah

[Manofaction0]

@InfuriatedCondom

Ooooo sounds like someone's pmsing.

[Aeon135]

@tissuekins

I appreciate you stepping in but this is a lost cause, i was just trying to find out if he had any redeeming qualities, and I'm sure he has, i thought it would be interesting to find them, i can only assume he is a sociopath

[xiyuemaa]

yeah get him fight fight fight!!!!

[muzzyboy83]

Well there won't be a need for the UN when Islam rules the planet, inshallah.

[GodOfTheInternets]

@muzzyboy83

WEll luckely islam is dying out then.

[assaultin]

definitally much more better than fox news :P

[emailconfermationftl]

not only is it better than fox news, its a hell of a lot more reliable!

[michelarjuna]

onion news is a improved version of fox news?

[mmmmmarcus]

o:36 ---  LMFAO

[NE0NBL00D]

Stoned Iowa governor proposes high speed rail service between where he is and a place with dinosaur bones!!!!!!!

[Billthepenguin]

LMAO coaching a little league team

[Dacadvid]

Is this true? Because if it is, the UN is even more potent and competent than I imagined.

Yes, I know the Onion is fake.

[Serinthen]

Holy cow, that was harsh but true...

[mickeyqbitsko]

I was home schooled, and I was masturbating at a college level when I was eight.

[mickeyqbitsko]

The funny thing is this video doesn't exaggerate the UN's limp-wristed uselessness. "You'd better cease your lawless torture of innocent children or......we'll ask you again!"

[LolCaramelz]

@mickeyqbitsko

So you'd rather there be now UN?

It was always meant as an international forum, not a multinational military force...

[NoisemakerArrow]

@LolCaramelz Actually it was always meant as a multinational military force taking orders from a centralized world government, but if they had said that, people would have been against it. Nonetheless, that's the direction in which it's going.

[DeadlyGrim]

@NoisemakerArrow Not to step on your paranoia, but the UN was never intended to be a one-world government and neither was it intended to take orders from a one-world government. The UN, like the League of Nations which came before it, was set up as a means of enforcing international treaties, which requires the ability to be outside the control of any one nation while still being beholden to them as a group - given this schizophrenic mandate, is it any wonder that it's pretty powerless?

[NoisemakerArrow]

@DeadlyGrim The UN, just like everything else, has to be sold to the morons under the guise of being wonderful and good for you (like X-ray machines at airports, wars, and Vioxx). All you hear from "elected" leaders and the media is a sales pitch.

[tommysch]

@NoisemakerArrow WTF are you rambling about. This is a serious channel. Shouldnt you be living in a fucking shack somewhere in the woods? The internet is working with HAARP to monitor your every though. Maybe aluminum could shield you, maybe.

[thegreatcheesedemon]

I don't see how that would ruin a manga convention.

[boxorak]

@thegreatcheesedemon:

not everyone into that fetish wants that to happen to them.

[thegreatcheesedemon]

Face it, if you go to a manga convention, you're probably a big fan.

[10verNothin]

lol China

[foulbeershits]

millions of americans are still masterbating at an 8th grade level!

[xGothimox]

I masturbated at a college level when i was 5.

[meandmyevo]

A little practice goes a long way

[xGothimox]

I do a lot of practice..

[UnstableFailureX]

I am simply outraged at our country's failure to masturbate at a professional level.

What about our kids?

Our future!?

Do we want America to go around masturbating to young, sexy Swedish girls at an 8th grade level?!?!?!

No!

We must hand our kids our Playboys, we must unlock their privacy settings, we must give them hand lotion!

This country was founded on freedom.

And I don't think you're very free if you can't masturbate...

[kevlonk]

(sniff) God bless America. (fapfapfap)

[CaptinChaos]

@UnstableFailureX I didn't think that it was possible to be even funnier than the video you're commenting on, but you sir have achieved it. Congratulations on your epic win. You've earned it, so enjoy it.

[UnstableFailureX]

@CaptinChaos I am very saddened to inform you that your masturbation privileges have been removed.

AND FUCKING REPLACED WITH NEW ONES!

NOW YOU CAN ENJOY MASTURBATING IN PUBLIC!

[anz00n]

LOL "Find out how you and your spouse can spice up their love life with a video of a woman blowing a horse" XDDDD

Haha.

[HABSFAN100]

This perfectly represents my views of the UN and more specifically the Security council!

[Caerdrys]

Yeah-actually, a coup by an ambassador might actually improve the UN. In soo many ways...

[maggnommy]

Shit i was masturbating at a 7th grade level.

[devin6687]

LOL @ "Still masturbating at an eight-grade level."

[Insanity4025]

Dammit how'd they find out about that??

[paerarru]

He's obviously power mad!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! X)

[boxorak]

The only thing that sounded terrifying about that "report" was the fact that he may be able to attack america indirectly. YES I KNOW IT'S FAKE, SHUT THE HELL UP.

[Zodomir]

coaching a little league team???

lol!!!!!!!

[nokiafan4life]

what is a coup?

[DShadow911]

revolution

[callmetoro]

its like a chicken coup.....lol

[ashtonnesmith]

ita a car without a backseat

[Jaidali]

Forceful government takeover, usually violent.

[colbertLOTR91]

a coup is not really a revolution because a revolution means that there is a drastic hange in government. A coup is more a hostile takeover over of government without drastically changing the politics.

[zeldazackman]

UN Owen Was Her

[DRUNKCANADIAN]

ROFL ....this video was pure win...from start to finish....especially the comment about the little league coaching lol

[94metfan]

"He may abandon his post as secretary general if he finds a more powerful position, like coaching a little league team."

Haha gotta love the onion

[Ecksphyre]

They recyled that thing about the tentacle raping monster in a ticker somewhere, I think.

It's a bad thing if you're a japanese schoolgirl wearing a ridiculous sailor uniform.

[Solenor92]

So..how is the attack on Manga convention by a giant-tentacle-raping monster exactly a bad thing?

[mastershake12an2]

he's sending a formal request!!!! if the US doesnt respond within 90 days we will all have a 2 year period to negoshate peace with the commitee of amends to the UN

[rewhing]

Can anyone please recap what the UN has done for us in the last half-century?

[jxsilicon9]

They gave those dictators and militias a tough stance non-binding resolution to stop the mass murder. Or they will pass another non-binding resolution.

[dynamicflashy]

Wow. I can't believe the UN is that powerless.

I love the Onion!

[SpartanCXVII]

The UN has no power at all.

[KillionaireNinja]

i have a masters in masturbation XD

[DaVoltaire]

I am at an eleventh grade level! ; )

[xputzix]

we need funding for torches,machetes hahahaha

[GodAthie]

yeah really shows how pointless the UN is ... why the fuck do we even have the un again?

[jondea0]

the UN just got owned

[Dark15Light]

lmao 8th grade level

[dracofirex]

I wanted to see the tentacle disaster at a mangacon! Lol... better watch your back at the next anime con.

[AirwarriorX2]

LOL door factory to close innumberable doors omg i love you onion .

[limetime11]

"like being mayor of a small town or coaching a little league"

LOLOLOL I love you Onion.

[StealthKab]

"Those troops could be deployed within two to five years!"

[GameGuru2004]

lol "he's obviously power hungry"

[Treblaine]

"May be lured away by a more powerful position like becoming the Mayor of a small town or coach of little league baseball."

lol... so true.

[PresidentMugabe1990]

"Those who oppose mtambi may face reduced funding for agricultural development." i was CRYING of laughter wen i heard this

[Orion1232]

Thank god for the fucking Onion. I would go insane if I couldn't come to this sane piece of satire at the end of the day, after listening to all the so called "real" news. Even though it's satire, it definitely puts things into perspective. LOL

[AlaskanGenius]

are you an idiot?

[onomiyaki]

Durr, I don't get the joke HURRR.

[12ohan]

0:36 - check the headline bar at the bottom. ROFL,

[rocknrollporn]

I have a P.H.D. in masterbation

[HunterXray]

That's why your ceiling looks like stucco?

[brapbraprcksn]

i wish i could give you more thumbs up

[lothandryll]

I call bullshit on that one!!! If you had a PhD, you'd be able to spell masturbation correctly! :)

(take no offense, just giving you shit lol)

[seizethemoose]

"There's always a chance that Mtambi might abandon his post as Sec. Gen. if he finds a more powerful position, like being a mayor of a small town or coaching a little league team."

Lol.

The local little league team has more power to get anything done than the UN itself.

[Flipenultra]

or a more powerful postion such as a bathroom atendent!

[Enlightenmeantiskey]

So awesome really it's genus and i can't get enough

[KoutetsuTenshin]

'manga convention marred by giant-raping-tentacle-monster attack'

BAAhahahahaha

[Jacobh0846]

hahahaha

[Robotasaurus]

"... or coaching a little league team."

LMAO!

[aceofspades00]

lmao.

love the onion, putting humorous twists on the cancers of our society

[giuri777]

...having no idea what this maniac will decide to place on the preliminary list of matters to be included in the provisional docket!