TV Tropes: "The Reason You Suck" Speech - Smash Bros

[Chaltab]

You know part of what made the World of Cardboard speech effective (aside from, you know, having actual pathos)?

It was SHORT.

[Quebedify]

this guy makes me want to smash a bro

[Ebb1993isgreat]

I should do a "Reason You Suck Speech" on the entire website of TV Tropes.

[Blitzfoofoo]

@Ebb1993isgreat Or you could have a life.

Nah, do it to Vision Forum, instead. We twbs (tropers with brains) can take care of the idiot/creepy tropers ourselves, but Vision Forum... they should be nuked from orbit. Seriously, they are scumbags, plain and simple.

[Ebb1993isgreat]

@Blitzfoofoo Fine.

[KaraMayonakaSora]

Fuck you

Fuck you

Fuck you

Get off my site, you pussy-ass

And the person who text-hugged him can do the same

How can you even honestly be upset about this?

[1337snake888]

@KaraMayonakaSora The person who text-hugged him was being sarcastic (I hope).

[RayLedgend]

Don't worry, dude. I feel you. I once considered myself friends with some backstabber. You see, back in the Gamecube era, he was a perfectly reasonable Nintendo fan, but when the Wii came out, he said it looked immature, and he bought a 360. A FUCKING 360! I couldn't get over it, and like you, I just kind of withdrew from everything. It's taken years for me to work up the confidence to even talk to people again, but sometimes the memories still sting.

[SpraxIAKS]

I love TV Tropes

[yaosio]

This reminds me of the time my Waifu wanted to be a DPS but we needed another healer. Dropped her fast and got on with my life.

[SoulSurvivor2255]

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME

[StrangePretence]

If someone said this to me because I criticised a fucking game, I'd just say something along the lines of "lol, OK" and shimmy on.

[MrAbe345]

if the internet was a huge document, then this video would be the summary at the end

[swordofkings128]

that person has agood point friends dont insult smash bros!! smash bros before smash hoes biches

[MsAckAck]

Seriously, all that because a friend has a different opinion on a video game? Grow up. 

[JohntheNonCultist]

Smash is not a fighting game.

[SephyStabbity]

oh my god needs to get a life lol

[Octane64]

I want to become a bully after hearing this.

[shaddowkarate]

I've always believed that "U MAD" is a phrase that should only be used as a variant on "tl;dr" for when the big ass wall of text is angry in tone.

This is one of those walls of text.

[MrAbe345]

debases you. debases. you.

[obach16]

CRRAWWWWWWLLLLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIN

[Fanusunay]

When people say they said these longass things I just imagine the person they're being so horrible to just shaking their head in confusion and walking away after the first two sentences.

[MrEric3000]

tl;dr

Smash bros. is srs business to 13 year olds

[ultimatehedgehog123]

So to summarize it the way I understood it,

TroperDude'sFriend lied about denouncing Smash Bros. to stay cool, in the eyes of TroperDude.(but quite likely actually didn't find it enjoyable anymore)

TroperDude is an immature prick that hates people that doesn't like (or pretends to not like) games(and maybe other stuff like movies, cartoons etc.) that he loves.

But I have no idea what the second chance and double crossing is about, probably a diffrent game with a similar scenario.

[SephyStabbity]

@ultimatehedgehog123 yup you summarized all of it i think :)

[hobotron2000]

I highly doubt this guy would have enough time to actually get even a fifth of the way through this.

"Oh, it really seemed like you were a good friend for a year, maybe two, but I think - HEY COME BACK"

[rogermwilcox]

Litsening to the music, I can hear poor lonely David Bruce Banner wandering on to the next town in search of a cure for his gamma-ray-addled monster within.

[prahanormal]

Isn't the point of these kind of speeches is that they aren't premeditated?

[angrydead]

I could get this guy to write a bible of BAWWWWWWWW after about 5 minutes

[driverx241]

gettin' mad at video games

[Sivart343]

...Get over yourself? Good grief.

[panzermarch1944]

Now I know why I'm pro-choice...

[fiveMIRrOrs]

This is like one of those speeches the tragic villain gives during the last stage while you're supposed to find a way to escape his locked room of death.

[tehgamer1]

The most hilarious thing about this is that the next entry is about a soldier complaining about his drill sergeant. A man who's helping our country complaining about a legitimate aggravation, the polar opposite of this thing.

[fastbreak333]

You decided to hate something I liked, something that is based on opinion and shouldn't matter because we all like different things... YOU'RE THE WORST FRIEND EVER TT~TT

[McRabbid9]

What's even worse is that on that particular page, a person replied to this speech saying, "*hugs you tightly." As this is an actually touching moment instead of an overly-planned out and lengthy rant.

Screw you guys, I'm going home.

[lxoxjoanxoxl]

This isn't a speech, it's a fucking novel. 

[winstonwhyte]

And I am not even sure what this is about, as hard as I laughed.

Did the guy's say he liked Smash Bros. (whether or not he really did), then when it became unpopular, say he did not (again, whether or not he really did not)?

.....are you serious?

[moneymandate]

Hell hath no fury like a basement dweller scorned.

[mortoch]

Okay, so wait, did these two guys break up or something? Am I getting that right? This is too "You broke my heart" to just be friends.

[Redirukod]

"The Reason You Suck Speech - Smash Bros"

This is gonna suck

[EdmacZ]

2:47 "All I did was be myself..."

If this shit is any indication of "yourself", it wouldn't surprise me one bit why he hates you.

[winstonwhyte]

This is actually unwatchable. I laughed so hard I actually had to watch it around 10 times before I heard every line. It may well be the hardest I laughed in my life.

I sincerely hope that this is completely serious, because the thought of someone so pathethic makes my life seem awesome by comparison.

BEST. EPISODE. EVER.

[br0nc096]

I bet that guy is relirved he doesn't need to hang out with this psycho anymore.

[DrDoom343]

My reaction:

"Okay, yeah, it's really long-winded and he's probably exaggerating, but I don't see why this warrants a separate vid - SUPER SMASH BROS?! THAT'S WHAT HE'S MAD ABOUT?!"

[Kitchinsink3]

So do you think he printed the speech out or did he memorize it by practicing in front of the mirror?

[Brenman999]

All this for Super Smash Bros... And I thought people at elementary school took it too seriously, but this... God damn!

[dragongod467]

Personally I think I'd have busted a gut the second the words "Smash Brothers" escaped his lips.

[DrKilgoreMan]

I don't think most tropers realize that in real life when you give a five minute speech, the person being berated will most likely walk away or tell them to shut the fuck up, especially when they're giving a lecture over Super Smash Brothers.

[GreatNegus]

Smash Bros. is some serious shit, man.

[momoandmiz]

I thought this kind of argument started in kids that are 5 years old, or something, arguing over Pokemon cards..

[MajBlood]

You are retarded Majora. This video is completely unfunny, I banged your sister, and you are a fucking idiot. Get lost you dumb troll.

[harknessemulator]

in his mind when he says this, all around him is rubble, thunder rolls in the sky, his friend is a few feet taller and more demonic, and he's drawn a really cool sword

[TGSean]

0:40 Okay. I can feel where this guy is coming fro--

0:52 Are you fucking kidding me

[fslpoon]

Protip to Troper: forget real people: they're all meanies. Soulbond with Kirby instead.

[ColBarnaby]

People still give a shit about Smash Bros?

[WorldsFattestRobot]

the Howl of the internet generation, a coddled infant passive-aggressively drowning in its own buttery tears because the name of a multi-million dollar franchise was lightly smeared and its only friend found other, nicer people to hang out with in high school

[Cyrai]

...Am I a corpse? Is that why this is happening?

[ThelronFjord]

I remember when I took Smash Bros. seriously, then my balls dropped.

[Skinnyoompalumpa]

oh shit it's moviebob

[samuraikarasu]

This guy's verbal tic is aspergers.

[straycatsean]

This is insanity by definition.

[poonoo87]

That was written by MovieBob

[RandomQuestions]

I think I laughed the hardest here than with any other episode. Man, this guy is such a pussy. Even if his friend did do something horrible, it wouldn't deserve that long-ass bitch fest. What the fuck makes him think that he'll remember all that, let alone that any sane person would sit through all of that bullshit? People need to learn to get to the fucking point when whining.

How does that fall under World of Cardboard? That trope can be a Shut Up Hannibal, the inverse of this bullshit.

[EponymousKid]

@RandomQuestions That's the thing that really bothers me here: I've had people actually be assholes to me, and I'm sure you have as well. But we don't fucking write 30 page dissertations to rattle off at them, do we? That's not a natural reaction to, like, anything. That's conditioned, he learned himself to be the biggest tard in the world.

[fslpoon]

@EponymousKid

He might have picked that up from watching animu -- animu characters typically flip out over the slightest of misunderstandings (because this is so Kawaii Moe and Yandere). But the verbosity doesn't look very animu-esque.

[EponymousKid]

@fslpoon lol u watch amine

Anyway, I can think of a few movie or comic book rants that feel like they might have "inspired" this special little basket of derp.

[fslpoon]

Not only did his so-called friend failed to see the greatness of such masterpiece as Smash Bros, he DARED to lie to our troper about not liking it (presumably to protect his special aspie snowflake soul from butthurt, and to prevent him from throwing a tard rage tantrum). Indeed, who needs friends like that?

[LuwiigiMaster]

I like how the related videos are from tvtropesorg, which consists of idiots acting out anime tropes.

[annefrankisaho]

When you said "Smash Brothers" I lost it

[TheTimeConsumer916]

SMASH BROTHERS

[Longuncattr]

What the fuck.

[mrSimonAIt]

> has trouble speaking to people

CAN'T IMAGINE WHY

If we just haven't heard about a bunch of REASONABLE horrible things the guy has done, this can go under Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking. In addition, the 'Jaywalking' can be the Wafer Thin Mint that broke this kid's mind.

...I haven't visited TVTropes for /weeks/. It really sticks.

[yaosio]

This is because somebody does not like smash brothers, DID YOU READ THAT? SOMEBODY DOES NOT LIKE SMASH BROTHERS.

[tsunderest]

Smash. Bros. That is a goddamn fighting game for babies to take seriously. Upgrade to Marvel vs. Capcom or something else with actual button combos.

[Skinnyoompalumpa]

@tsunderest

OH GOD YOUR BECOMING ONE OF THEM

[tsunderest]

@Skinnyoompalumpa

Well slap my hind and call me "GokutheHedgehog".

[TheNotoriousMC2]

@tsunderest I dunno man, considering how passionate the MVC community is I think one or both of the guys would have been shot or stabbed or something.

[Riconoen]

this is a joke right? right?

[Davethe3rd]

This guy's butthurt because his friend wanted to play a real fighting game like Street Fighter...

[NoFearNoFlame]

smash bros...

[YamiAura]

"I don't like Smash bros anymore." "YOU ARE A MORALLY DEBASE PERSON I HATE YOU YOU'RE THE WORST PERSON YOU HURT ME SO MUCH YOU'RE A SCUMBAG LIKE ALL HUMANS YOU'VE BROKEN ME IM TRAUMATIZED"

[fslpoon]

@YamiAura

You told a little white lie about a video game. You gave me a Heroic BSOD. You Complete Monster. Now I became a Broken Bird and think All Humans Are Bastards. My Yandere tendency threatens to transform me into an Omnicidal Maniac. Now where is my Badass Longcoat?

[SpraxIAKS]

@fslpoon ..I'm so amused right now because of your reply and the initial comment.

[321cheeseman]

I... what... SURELY this is a joke. SURELY.

No one would seriously make a novel-length speech about how butthurt they that their friend agreed with other people when they said Super Smash Bros. was immature. No one would really do that for real, right?

My mind refuses to accept that this is real.

[TheLordExplodeon]

This was about Smash Brothers.

Smash Brothers.

A game.

O_O

[SpaceCheese69]

This world is so corrupt...smash bros, et tu?

[MasterEm243]

I lol'd.

[speyeker]

GOOD GOD, WHY

[MetalSlimeHunt]

What the fuck....

Man, even the people that dress up in wizard robes and go to midnight premieres of Harry Potter movies don't act this crazy about their favored media. At least they tend to be passionately happy instead of passionately insane.

[99bit]

;_;

[SpamNapkin]

tl;dr YOU DON'T LIKE SUPER SMASH BROS? I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE!!!

[laharlxyz]

@SpamNapkin I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE AND I'VE LOST ALL HOPE IN HUMANITY!

[GentlemanOrcus1]

It probably took him days just to come up with that. I mean, wow.

[AwkwardBatman]

Someone took this guy's seat once.

He starved to death during the resulting speech.

[SpamNapkin]

@AwkwardBatman I'd imagine he poured gasoline on himself like that scene in Airplane

[AwkwardBatman]

@SpamNapkin He tried a lot of things.

[OurBenefactors]

quit gettin' mad about video games

[1amsm1th]

Wait... he said this all over Super Smash Brothers?

[TheBanjoFanboy]

hahahaha one guy actually felt bad for him

"*hugs you tightly*"

[CenturionRyan]

@TheBanjoFanboy I'm pretty sure he put that there himself.

[TheBanjoFanboy]

Holy mother of fuck.

[Schattenfaust2]

Well, if nothing else you have to give the VA props for doing this all in one breath.

[ShinyMarshtomp]

Crawling in his skin.

[GameOverthinkerFan7]

@ShinyMarshtomp His wounds, they will not heal.

[EponymousKid]

There's seriously nothing to say to this. This is just ridiculous.

And I thought tourneyfags took Smash Bros. too seriously.

[ShinyMarshtomp]

@EponymousKid I saw two people at my old college get into a fist-fight over their tourney's rules.

In public.

In the cafeteria, at least 200 people were there.

Neckbeard fight!!

[EponymousKid]

@ShinyMarshtomp Jesus Christ that's pathetic.

I mean, goddamn. How can this stuff matter that much to anyone, honestly? I know hardcore gamers think of games as a means by which to prove their virility rather than something to be enjoyed, but come the fuck on.

[speyeker]

@EponymousKid This guy never had any virility to begin with. That's probably why he takes it so seriously.

[Cerealbowl36]

I'd wager my dinner that he didn't actually make this speech, or any sort of speech for that matter, and came up with this after the fact.

[HaldoChan]

Poe's Law. Just Poe's Law.

[Darsular]

This troper is spergin' about how important Smash Brothers is and how he needs to chill the fuck out.

[EbolaZidane]

I wonder if he was typing this as he spoke it, or he recorded it to type afterwards.

[giro174]

Fucking SHIT, man. That's all I can say.

[nhonho23]

DO THEY KNOW HOW BAD YOU SCARRED A FRIEND

it's a video game

[Protectorett]

"...and then the speech was over. With one last pittying look at his former friend, the man then shook his head sadly, stood up, and walked out of the padded cell alone as the guards shut the door behind him, going home to drink and play Xbox, and remember happier times."

[ThelronFjord]

But Smash Bros. is an immature game (doesn't mean it's still good).

[AFunnyWhisper]

@ThelronFjord

It is not immature at all.

[inferno232]

.... When your friendship breaks up over Smash Bros... Okay, you know what, that's it. I might just eat a gun now.

[TacticoolOperator]

Autist of the Year 2011

[CenturionRyan]

"...what I might have done that would make you hate me so much."

Gee, I wonder.

[MrGad1]

wow just fucking wow

[driverx241]

ablooblooobloo.flv

[anti4kids2000]

Why the fuck should he apologize? That's his decision, not yours. Apologies only have meaning when they're made because it came from the heart. Apologies that are forced have no meaning.

[EyeoftheU]

I wonder if his friend actually sat through all that bullshit, or walked out after four or five sentences and left our "hero" rambling to himself in an empty room.

[EyeoftheU]

Oh shit, did I just imply that a troper would actually have the balls to carry his self-righteous fantasies in real life? In that case, please disregard my previous comment.

[SomethingRules]

@EyeoftheU you're being pretty charitable in assuming he actually said any of that

[EponymousKid]

@SomethingRules It actually says that this is the prepared speech for the hypothetical situation of seeing that guy again, so...

[CaptainHusky]

Ummm, he is dumb, that is all I can say, I am in a state of horrific awe that a person can be that poor at being a person.

[quadrophrenic]

compare this with the one below it. troper tales confuses me sometimes.

[holditnow]

Only slightly related, but I nominate "World of Cardboard Speech" for the Worst Named Trope award.

Close second is "Fail Polish" and all those bullshit Japanese tropes (tsundere, nakama, etc.)

[fslpoon]

@holditnow

Basically every trope names on TV Tropes is made of fail: unfunny and unclear.

[RandomQuestions]

@holditnow WoC? Perhaps it's just because I'm a huge Justice League (Unlimited) fan, but I actually like that name a lot. Much better than any of the ones you nominated for second worse.

I blame the tropers for knocking off a ton of cool points from Superman's words.

[jamesbob006]

IT'S A FUCKING VIDEO GAME!

[TheRantingRocker]

Super Smash Bros= SERIOUS EFFIN' BUSINESS.

[Twankiez1019]

;____;

[PhiGuy1717]

Smash bros is serious fucking business.

[moccamonster]

Jesus christ, take your fucking meds, man.

[cheeselovingtree]

oh dear

[marvelswe]

All of this for fucking Smash Bros?