Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub Par (part 2/2)

[zweit9]

Aren't all of Mortal Kombat's female characters Lingerie Ninjas?

[CSB]

@zweit9 Not Sonya at least

[DaveOelectro]

0:26

I bet you didn't, Slowbeef

[PoofPoofification]

Jesus, halfway through the dinosaur fight, I left and did some dishes, and when I came back, it wasn't over yet.

[RedCloude]

You forgot Ermac his was the red one.

[beastman93FZero]

Someone needs to make a gif of 12:51 hahahahaha hilarious shit right there.

[keyburrito]

"Sir, a mortal has escaped from the shit" describes the player after turning this game off.

[katharis90]

Is Raiden's face made of rubber? It looks so enchanting when he talks.

[12ismorethan2]

You guys should play Kaizo Mortal Kombat Mythologies. There's a pendulum that hits you when you start each level and all the enemies are replaced with dinosaur-riders.

[XSeaSpiralX]

LMAO! The commentary was amazing.

[KiteStrongart]

Great game, great experience.

[thebiggertroll]

I would like to point out something kewl. if you have ever played MK you know Noob Saibot

okay. well the creators of MK are Ed Boon and John tobais well if you take their last names and make then backwards it says Noob Saibot. ;D oh, and I laughed so fucking hard when you had to fight the dinosaur.

[steveharley0345]

J.R. Salazar?

... The dude from Resi 4??

[hammeroffail]

I understand that pointing out the good parts of the game is completely against the spirit of this, but throwing the guys under the crusher looks pretty fucking fun.

[Princeps32]

like three minutes of sub zero goofy-kicking a t-rex

i mean i know mortal kombat is ridiculous but christ

a good rp

[paleknight1]

Chuck Norris round-house a dinosaur in the face!

[AzumaGames]

Sure is a lot of sephirot in the background. They're missing the da'at, though.

[damienjk]

I completely lost it at the firebreathing T-rex fight. I'm not sure what I was laughing harder at, the commentary or the fucking game.

[zzyzx0788]

That outtakes session was humiliating to watch.

[IronPants]

The extra cut-scene at the end appears if you refuse to finish Scorpion. You don't fight him again (since he's not dead). I think you just beat up some standard-issue guards instead.

[evrbody]

He's got 99 problems but a bridge ain't one.

[Ygdrasel]

...How did he kill Fire-breathing Dinosaur? His kicks weren't even connecting.

Sub-Zero Physics...

[macr0machine]

Also, there's a couple of things about the terrible game design that you can't tell just from the video.

You press up to jump. In a platformer.

There is a 'dash' button- it works the same way as MK3, so no running jumps.

There is a 'turn' button. For TURNING. In a PLATFORMER. Not only that, but you will still sometimes be turned automatically in combat.

There's an experience limit to stop you from learning more than one move per level, so what was the point of pretending it's like a RPG?

[macr0machine]

Official UK Playstation Magazine actually gave this game 1/10 when it came out. And watching this long play, it actually seems like a fair score.

The reviewer actually said:

"If you want yor 32-bit console to play host to 16-bit graphics and 8-bit gameplay, written by 4-bit intellects who wouldn't give two bits for one bit of decent game design, this is for you."

[redmercer]

would totally play Sub-Zero Beach Volleyball

[DireSloth]

37:00 Those symbols in the background, incidentally, are bastardizations of the sephirot, an important diagram in esoteric Judaism. The more you know.

[rjakobi]

Kerri Hoskins was the actress that played Sonya Blade.

I know this from the DVD that was included in the special edition of Mortal Kombat Armageddon.

I am filled with shame.

[xxxYouTunesxxx]

who the hell would sit through this video for an hour...lol

[shotgunreaper]

@xxxYouTunesxxx People with taste?

[xxxYouTunesxxx]

@shotgunreaper

More like people with too much free time

[shotgunreaper]

@xxxYouTunesxxx And that's a bad thing? Also stop trying to keyboard warrior on YouTube it's pathetic.

[xxxYouTunesxxx]

@shotgunreaper

Keyboard warior? lol

[shotgunreaper]

@xxxYouTunesxxx Argh, how dare you see through my facade. I am undone. Back to the depths of internet I goooooooo...

[narcolepticchairftw]

@xxxYouTunesxxx They have jobs and one of them is married. Fuck you.

[xxxYouTunesxxx]

@narcolepticchairftw

I was sharing my opinion that 60m of this is way to long and trust me no one is viewing it more than 20 minutes...That is just my opinion, get over it. I love youtube keyboard warriors. The ones with cartoons in the avator are the best. You can play the tough guy when you finaly get hair on your balls. Until then, it's way past your bedtime and mommy needs to use the computer.

[narcolepticchairftw]

@xxxYouTunesxxx I find it funny that you're complaining about keyboard warriors when you're acting like one yourself. Get fucked.

[xxxYouTunesxxx]

@narcolepticchairftw

Get fucked? LOL....Since when was "getting fucked" a negative thing? What's next, are you going to tell me to "Get Rich" or to "get a good job"

[narcolepticchairftw]

@xxxYouTunesxxx Confirmed for taking it up the ass.

[mightymole2]

@xxxYouTunesxxx don't worry, you won't get any of those things

[arce148]

Through the whole retsupurae i almost pissed myself at part 2, 38:00

[kakkoiilandamu]

I feel like I'm back in the 90s.....

[CocoHutzpah]

1:30, that's the guy with the pistol from The Roadwarrior.

[mclame22]

Who would have known that the pyramid's apex was in Quan Chi's pants all along?

[Drakesbourne]

So 3 days ago a Let's player named quickshot14 was found guilty of sexual abuse of a minor I can even provide the court records now I'm thinking more than anyone this sick fuck needs to be retsuprae'd

[kaineternal]

@Drakesbourne provide them if you would.

[xAzureIzumix]

Kick the dragon in the face, and miss.. but it still hits!

[BlueTravesty]

When I saw these two videos were 50 minutes long, each, I had serious doubts about watching them. I'm glad I gave it a spin. When it comes to maintaining comedic momentum via commentary, this is close to MST3K quality. Well done!

[sympathy3k21]

@BlueTravesty welcome to retsupurae

[mattthehatt99]

so kill or oral.... damn these paragon renegade options!

[CasualVideoGamer]

Am I the only one who noticed the 9x going to 5x after the portal opened at the end?

[ElrondHubbard54]

still not as bad as 'the town with no name' but this comes close, especially because this was a major production that was intended to be taken seriously.

[robertman]

25:00 Kabbalah symbols in the temple of Madonna

[BlueTravesty]

@robertman I'm glad I'm not the only who saw the resemblance to the Sephirot in that.

[nejinaji]

a dinosaur that breathes fire. dragon. skyrim?

[BohepansTheThird]

I swear, in that last scene before the Game Over screen, Shinnok sounded like some kind of really old politician...except somehow even *less* convincing.

[BlackIceDragon2005]

41:55

[meowmix669]

39:15 Is that one of those Harkonnen chairs H.R. Giger made?

[Viktor13036]

Quan Chi reminded me of Dr. Franknfurter "Come up to the lab and see what's on the slab"

[GreenGearMood]

I had a dream about you guys. o_o

[TheMightyP00tis]

@GreenGearMood Every Retsupurae subscriber has dreams about them, its a natural thing.

[PrickRolled]

At 41:50 sub-zero is thinking "I may as well motor boat this shit while I can"

[SuperHobbit89]

I feel like 18:12 needs an introductory caption that just screams "FIRE DRAGON"

[ZBlayde]

6:50 He took less damage because of that potion.

[givemeabreak432]

Lingerie ninja's spinning sound effect sounds like crash bandicoots...

[CapnCombustible]

Even in Mike Dawson's fantasies where he's a ninja with magical powers he's forced to perform copious amounts of backtracking.

[GameMiestro]

@41:58 Don't they mean "the final KONfrontation"?

[pHr33kAcHu]

The clip with Chinook or whatever at the end is the bad ending if you don't kill Scorpion in the very beginning level.

[JanitorAntisocial]

43:15

WHOOOOOO

[ToServeArmadillo]

"No, left. Ba-doom TSCH!"

heeey, ya missed pal

[GamiCross]

39:20 Did I just hear: "The Neitherrealm is a place for E-BEANS"

[GamiCross]

44:05 Odd move making a robe that looks like the Machinima logo.

[Doperwtje81]

Wait, Peking Palace did the catering? Sheldon Cooper does not approve!

[Pedobreach]

diabetus's old man voice; best acting ever 42:18

[somahiru]

@Pedobreach 41:54 is also so hillarious.

[KantorekBaumerB14]

Brilliant patter gentlemen, I applaud you.

[t2thefox]

Stryker always struck me as some random guy who just caught stuck in the middle of MK3's mess running around yelling "SHIT SHIT SHIT" while the world around him was being destroyed.

[MinionStarwind]

I have tried 3 times to drink while watching this video and THREE TIMES I have spit water while you two rip this game to shreds.

Good show, gentlemen

[MrSmegheneghan]

And by floor I meant wall. Of course.

[MrSmegheneghan]

Huh. I just realised what the patterns on the floor below the claw things are. They're the Sephirot.

[Insane4lifez]

And then he went on to get killed in Mortal Kombat.

[Kolbatsu]

I like present a challenge to Midway. In Mortal Kombat Mythologies Sub-Zero 2, create a storyline where Sub-Zero get hypothermia. Imagine the drama of a Sub-Zero with an ironic disease still going after amulets and killing Barraka clones. I believe the gaming community will be shocked stunned and moved at the effort to make the character of Sub-Zero more meaningful

[Kuronji]

I see...so he managed to defeat my robots...he leaves me no choice. Release the T-rex!

[Qiezei]

I like how they showed Sub-Zero ripping out Scorpion's spine earlier, but they bleep out swears in the blooper reel, like it matters in a MORTAL KOMBAT GAME.

[MobileThinker]

how can you guys remember Rain, but not Ermac?!

[TheStickKid]

32:13 pause. What does it look like she is doing?

[TheStickKid]

19:02 ok... im watching Sub-Zero kick the air, that is somehow hurting the fire-breathing dinosaur with a rider that is a knight with fat robot legs...

DRUGS ANYONE?

[Meloncarty]

No Ninjas were rejected in this game

[TheSkunkrocker]

You gotta do it. Come on. If you need a break we understand, but if you thought MKM was bad... wait till you see Special Forces. It's a special kind of fuck this shit I quit sell my Playstation.

[StrawberryLoveGen]

I never thought that 'ninja fighting giant robot/cyborgs with guns' could seem so lame.

[MrPeekablue]

You guys had me in stitches! For some reason, I remembered this game being in 3-D, but man, I did not remember how much it sucked.

[sekretsu]

Surprised nobody noticed Scorpion's costume is just a SPRITE RIP From UMK3.

HURR HURR Laziness.

[Lethargyman]

From what I've heard, the Jax/Sonya game is significantly worse than this game.

[Anthony3PO]

Sir, immortal has escaped from...sh*t.

[edgeidore84]

What's really funny is if you watch the making of this game. They show the developers talking about all the things you pointed out like they were good things.

[EponymousKid]

I actually think Mortal Kombat has done a really good job of differentiating the different ninjas in the more recent titles. Ninjas and Lin Kuei, that is.

[magistermene]

I'll leave this comment here... but only because I HAVE to

[ValisHD]

10:47 DAT Asian ASS <3

[fagbro]

why are there no sub zero recolors like sonic recolors

[cluade75]

@fagbro there are several. like snow, ice, sleet, hail. I wish I were joking but people love to make stupid shit on MUGEN

[LovelesEntertainment]

E.F.B.E = Ever fucking boss ever.

[TheReed21028311]

Can you guys do a rongprae of the adventure modes in Deception and Armageddon. I remember them being pretty bad!

[Grammaton485]

If anyone's seen the bloopers real from this game, I would highly recommend watching it solely for the part at 41:48

[ValisHD]

@Grammaton485 what a waste of good pussy

[Grammaton485]

Funny, slowbeef. I've read some things where people think that the first Mortal Kombat movie is aktually a GOOD video game movie...unfortunately, the MK storyline isn't all that good to begin with. I think it's generally akkepted that Annihilation is terrible, though.

[lolwut707]

I love it when they do the Ridley voice xD

[posthumanfetus]

Armageddon and Annihilation both sucked.

[bioblitzer]

seriousely u guys should reward urselves after having to go through hrs of these horrible games. go retsupurae a good game by a good player or something lol

[ConservativeCat]

Is that the Oblivion symbol in the background on the wall?

[ibioron]

What a stupid game. This was funny as hell though.

[eiddon]

The guy with the hood is obviously Gimp Lui Kang.

[TaciturnTacticianSA]

E.F.B.E stands for "Every Fucking Bland Enemy"

[RRVCrinale]

The bad acting, goofy animations, annoying gameplay, bizarre enemy and boss choices...

I dunno if I've ever seen a perfect Wrongpurae before, but this came pretty damn close

[Taisuru]

Hope you guys do MK: Special Forces

[videogamenostalgia]

41:55 U mad bro?

[BlueDeity]

Noob Saibot is in this game.....duh duh duh!

[saiucrozier]

I actually played this game when I was younger... It was hard and I couldn't figure it out... in retrospect I'm really glad I didn't.

[Nik0ran]

At the end he has raspberry jam on his face, he must have grabbed something to eat on his way through the portal.

[cascoll2000]

Parrot Grass makes everything better!

[Slugbunny]

*spoilers*

Ninjas, check, robots, check, magic, check plus... OH AND A DINOSAUR. This game had it all.

[vernsi]

You forgot Tremor, he only appeared in Special Forces.

He was a brown ninja.

[ElTequilla]

judging by the sounds, The Flamebot is obviously the ancestor of the GAC Tank

[CrimsonEsper]

the tyrant from re got a buzzsaw

[gaminggoddess85]

Ridley voice makes any Wrongpurae instantly 1000% better.

[Hampsterboy420]

I had the game on the N64 a long time ago...

I never played past that wind place

[EponymousKid]

Wait, an evil minion riding a firebreathing dinosaur? Is this Brock Samson's joy can dream?

[handsomebrick]

Stryker was expected to be the breakout character of MK3, which is an interesting peek into Team Mortal Kombat's clearly deranged minds.

And if you're talking copy-pasted MK characters, you can't beat Shang Tsung whose gimmick is being a copy-paste of anyone at any time.

[EternalGuardian07]

35:28

Khariots of Ice

Alternatively, Persistence of the Long Distance Lin Kuei

[TheAxelMiller]

Atleast it's not as bad as Deadly Alliance. (Shivers).

[FourthDerivative]

I can't take Quan Chi seriously because he just reminds me of Brain Guy from Mystery Science Theater

[BadPojo]

You guys should try Street Cleaning Simulator

[plaze2]

@kedviper did you do that w the darkseed videos?

[KedViper]

@plaze2 I haven't even gotten through all of those. I don't know if I can. Actually, the Cobra one makes me the sleepiest. I don't even know why I'm making such an inconsequential comment, heh.

[KedViper]

So I fell asleep watching this just like yesterday, (no offense, I'ts just relaxing and I'm really tired after school) but woke back up again like yesterday, so I'm hoping it will help me fall asleep now.

[0SexToast0]

@KedViper holy shit bro, me too haha

[ncala]

"This would be awesome in any other context but today is the stupidest thing I've ever seen."

It happenned once in Power Rangers DinoThunder and yes, it was more awesome.

[Scraxs]

I wanted to know what slowbeef had to say about doom's cyberdemon :(

[HyperFlameGuy]

@Scraxs Probably something to do with the fact that when the Cyberdemon attacks, its rockets fly from its crotch.

[PTp1ranha]

My dad had this game once.

[GamiCross]

Raiden is a reverse TARDIS: he takes you to where you don't need to go.

[erendorable]

Two drums and a cymbal set fall off a cliff...

Ba-dum tsh.

[TheToast7]

Man, the guy who played Sub Zero is 110% PROFESSIONALISM. At least, relatively.

[Leoofmoon]

@TheToast7 He was the only one trying to give a shit.

[RirseDeBlood]

And the final fate of the actors was to do the Mortal Kombat stunt show around the country and appearing on the morning news.

[Leoofmoon]

sub zero Ass puncher.

[nintendonut888]

18:12 Raptor motherfucker! *crash*

[lobsopdoy]

So you can beat a giant saw-giant dude just by kicking him in the dick a couple dozen times. Makes sense.

[jettythesunfish]

More like Krazy Kombat.

[jayta]

never thought id see a yoshi..er i mean t-rex in mortal kombat

[unlovingfilms]

jesus christ this game is awful

[TaleOfNobody]

@unlovingfilms

Don't you mean "Jesus Khrist"?

[lobsopdoy]

I always wondered what happened to Stryker. Maybe he had just wandered in the MK3 tourney.

[HarrisonFordJr]

quan chi looks like one of them triple fudge packers.

[HoneypieTheLover]

@HarrisonFordJr Funnily enough, this is the same guy who portrayed Kano in MK3.

[Gigaspine7]

That rex sure does sux.

[SpanishFly120]

"Now you are in the loop, Sub Zero!" made me lmao.

[heyeveryoneimcool]

Is Raiden Patrick Warburton?

[Unknownhero1423]

38:59 Ugh, why'd you wake me up, I was dreaming I was in a better game!

[KINFIN123]

Honestly, I'm almost afraid of being retsupuraed, but at the same time, I think that if I was, I'd get a lot of attention. I mean, look at Dark Seed? There are tons of parody videos that have kome out sinke that was Retsupuaed. Same kan be said for Kobra Spake adventure.