My name was kiki, and i was raped before i died.I use to enjoy pain and now i inflict it upon people. I was tortured and raped until i could no longer breathose meanies now suffer and die, and those who do not repost this to 5 videos will die too. I hate this 2 but i believe at the strike of 12AM, those who did not repost this will die a horrible death after seeing a bloody face covered in long black hair. Thoses who repost this will get a kiss from their crush
@KuraiYamino Thank you for the crit!!! Perspective is definitely on my list of things to correct, but I'm not sure I understand what "shakiness of the animation" is. I know there are some places where the colorists didn't color in things right and I had no time to correct them. Or are you referring to the moving holds? Those are supposed to be a bit "shaky". Most of the moving hold are going to be replaced with actual movement, though, since I had to cut a lot due to time constraints.
And again at 2:03. Since it's a downshot and Stella's standing at the back of the room, she should be the tallest figure in the composition, unless the foreground figures are standing on a raised platform of some sort. I think if you brought those two figures down in the frame, it would make a nice triangular composition there, with Stella at the peak, implying that she's the emotional focus of the shot.
Just a couple things I noticed, that I hope help out.
@dramaelfie Yeah, specifically at 1:28. The woman at the right seems a little tall. If they're sitting and she's standing, then it makes a bit more sense though. It's moreso at 1:50, where the guy in the foreground is way taller than the bar, bartender, etc. I can understand why you wanted him that close in the foreground to give a clear emotional reaction, but from that camera height, he'd probably be below frame.
@SractheNinja LOLOL Yeah, 1:50 was supposed to have a completely different bg, but I only had time to recycle an old one. XD And yes, that woman is standing. I do see what you're saying at 2:03...that shot will have to be completely redone anyways since I'm actually going to color the background characters instead of having them just be silhouettes, so I'll keep that in mind. :)
With the perspective in these shots, those people would have to be very tall or standing on chairs or something to be that high in relation to those around them. It's in a few of the earlier bar shots, so I thought it might be worth mentioning.
Other than that, I think it's mostly just detail work that you lacked the time to do.
Again great job to everyone involved. It all paid off and you should be very proud.
@SractheNinja Yep, that bird's eye view of the town has sooooo many things that need correcting, it's usually the first thing people point out. lol And I'm assuming you're talking about the establishing bar shot that pans across? *makes note to correct that* haha Yeah, you can kind of tell which shots I had to rush and which ones I spent more time on....I wish I had another week or two to work on this before I turned it in. >_<;
A couple things that I noticed, that you might think about: On the establishing shot that pulls into the town, I'd recommend having some more objects around the town. Cacti, groupings of rocks, etc. As it is now, the surrounding area looks a bit empty. I think the area of the town would fit better with some additional details around it. Another point is concerning the panning shots of the bar. They're generally down shots, but some characters in the higher in the composition than those behind
Fantastic work here! You obviously have spent massive amounts of time and effort on this, and it certainly shows through. As with any piece of art, there are always ways to improve it, but I'm sure that most areas for improvement here only need it because of the rush you were in. I love that character designs of Redd and Stella particularly, as well as what I'm guessing is a reference to Casablanca.
Extremely well done, Sarah. I really enjoyed the story and the animation was really nice. I liked the integration of still frames with movement and the actual movement of the characters was really smooth and seamless. I do have to agree with Mirage992 that there were occasional long shots, like when he told him it was time and got that mad look on his face. Otherwise though, amazing work. Congratulations to you and your team! You've come a long way since the old high school days! :)
@daizoren LOL That shot was actually supposed to be TWO shots with another shot between them (showing Redd putting down his drink and getting up). XD Thanks, dude!!!
@dramaelfie haha well it worked out for itself! Sometimes that's how it goes and it ends up looking awesome. Well done. :) I look forward to seeing where this takes you!!
Is that a 'High Noon' reference I spot there with him dying at noon?? ^_^
Anyway, awesome short! I love the emotions with all the characters. And I also love your style with the animation.
My only tiny critique is that sometimes you hold a touch too long on the character's faces or in a single shot. I understand the need to hold to properly convey the emotion, but some shots were a tad too long. Other than that, great job!!
@mirage992 LOL Kind of...it's more of a "his time is up" type of deal, but a lot of people have thought that, so I'm going with it as well. XD Yes, some of those shots do hold too long because there was originally supposed to be much more movement, but since I was so crunched for time, I made them moving holds (4 or 5 frames of the same drawing). Those are some of the first things I plan on correcting when I go back to work on it. ^_^
awww so sad
18andVidel 1 week ago
I really loved the music for this. :)
1stxRatexDreamer 1 week ago
Zuko singing to a gourd brought me here..... xD
XxXCauseImAwesomeXxX 3 months ago 7
@XxXCauseImAwesomeXxX me to x3
Carmal1162 2 months ago
i dont get this story but it sad when he got shot
megacrystal58 3 months ago
@megacrystal58 i agree completely.
seacrest73 2 months ago
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My name was kiki, and i was raped before i died.I use to enjoy pain and now i inflict it upon people. I was tortured and raped until i could no longer breathose meanies now suffer and die, and those who do not repost this to 5 videos will die too. I hate this 2 but i believe at the strike of 12AM, those who did not repost this will die a horrible death after seeing a bloody face covered in long black hair. Thoses who repost this will get a kiss from their crush
Jane01794 4 months ago
thumbs up if you came here from a talking shoulder singing its leaving
Jazzyjaz246 4 months ago 18
Perspective and the shakiness of the animation. The overall story was great. I could barely hear the dialog in some parts.
Very well thought out piece. I like it! thank you! and good luck
KuraiYamino 7 months ago
@KuraiYamino Thank you for the crit!!! Perspective is definitely on my list of things to correct, but I'm not sure I understand what "shakiness of the animation" is. I know there are some places where the colorists didn't color in things right and I had no time to correct them. Or are you referring to the moving holds? Those are supposed to be a bit "shaky". Most of the moving hold are going to be replaced with actual movement, though, since I had to cut a lot due to time constraints.
dramaelfie 7 months ago
Name in the credits ...hell yes :D
SophieCLRguART 8 months ago
Wow! great job! I could never do something like that! I love it!
AnimeGirl1249 9 months ago
And again at 2:03. Since it's a downshot and Stella's standing at the back of the room, she should be the tallest figure in the composition, unless the foreground figures are standing on a raised platform of some sort. I think if you brought those two figures down in the frame, it would make a nice triangular composition there, with Stella at the peak, implying that she's the emotional focus of the shot.
Just a couple things I noticed, that I hope help out.
Here's lookin' at you, kid.
SractheNinja 9 months ago
@dramaelfie Yeah, specifically at 1:28. The woman at the right seems a little tall. If they're sitting and she's standing, then it makes a bit more sense though. It's moreso at 1:50, where the guy in the foreground is way taller than the bar, bartender, etc. I can understand why you wanted him that close in the foreground to give a clear emotional reaction, but from that camera height, he'd probably be below frame.
SractheNinja 9 months ago
@SractheNinja LOLOL Yeah, 1:50 was supposed to have a completely different bg, but I only had time to recycle an old one. XD And yes, that woman is standing. I do see what you're saying at 2:03...that shot will have to be completely redone anyways since I'm actually going to color the background characters instead of having them just be silhouettes, so I'll keep that in mind. :)
dramaelfie 9 months ago
With the perspective in these shots, those people would have to be very tall or standing on chairs or something to be that high in relation to those around them. It's in a few of the earlier bar shots, so I thought it might be worth mentioning.
Other than that, I think it's mostly just detail work that you lacked the time to do.
Again great job to everyone involved. It all paid off and you should be very proud.
SractheNinja 9 months ago
@SractheNinja Yep, that bird's eye view of the town has sooooo many things that need correcting, it's usually the first thing people point out. lol And I'm assuming you're talking about the establishing bar shot that pans across? *makes note to correct that* haha Yeah, you can kind of tell which shots I had to rush and which ones I spent more time on....I wish I had another week or two to work on this before I turned it in. >_<;
Oh, and yes, that is a Casablanca reference!!! XD
dramaelfie 9 months ago
A couple things that I noticed, that you might think about: On the establishing shot that pulls into the town, I'd recommend having some more objects around the town. Cacti, groupings of rocks, etc. As it is now, the surrounding area looks a bit empty. I think the area of the town would fit better with some additional details around it. Another point is concerning the panning shots of the bar. They're generally down shots, but some characters in the higher in the composition than those behind
SractheNinja 9 months ago
Fantastic work here! You obviously have spent massive amounts of time and effort on this, and it certainly shows through. As with any piece of art, there are always ways to improve it, but I'm sure that most areas for improvement here only need it because of the rush you were in. I love that character designs of Redd and Stella particularly, as well as what I'm guessing is a reference to Casablanca.
SractheNinja 9 months ago
Extremely well done, Sarah. I really enjoyed the story and the animation was really nice. I liked the integration of still frames with movement and the actual movement of the characters was really smooth and seamless. I do have to agree with Mirage992 that there were occasional long shots, like when he told him it was time and got that mad look on his face. Otherwise though, amazing work. Congratulations to you and your team! You've come a long way since the old high school days! :)
daizoren 9 months ago
@daizoren LOL That shot was actually supposed to be TWO shots with another shot between them (showing Redd putting down his drink and getting up). XD Thanks, dude!!!
dramaelfie 9 months ago
@dramaelfie haha well it worked out for itself! Sometimes that's how it goes and it ends up looking awesome. Well done. :) I look forward to seeing where this takes you!!
daizoren 9 months ago
Is that a 'High Noon' reference I spot there with him dying at noon?? ^_^
Anyway, awesome short! I love the emotions with all the characters. And I also love your style with the animation.
My only tiny critique is that sometimes you hold a touch too long on the character's faces or in a single shot. I understand the need to hold to properly convey the emotion, but some shots were a tad too long. Other than that, great job!!
mirage992 9 months ago
@mirage992 LOL Kind of...it's more of a "his time is up" type of deal, but a lot of people have thought that, so I'm going with it as well. XD Yes, some of those shots do hold too long because there was originally supposed to be much more movement, but since I was so crunched for time, I made them moving holds (4 or 5 frames of the same drawing). Those are some of the first things I plan on correcting when I go back to work on it. ^_^
dramaelfie 9 months ago
@dramaelfie Ahhh... Kay, That makes sense as well.
I understand. But yea, other than those holds, it looks awesome! Great job!
mirage992 9 months ago
wow this is awesome. nice work to you and your team. :)
LadyZutara 9 months ago
@LadyZutara Thank you! :)
dramaelfie 9 months ago