I really enjoyed the poem. I think you did a fine job. I know others want it more polished. And performing I am sure demands that. I enjoyed it just the way it is. Makes it more real and meaningful. thanks.
I went into this with low expectations. You did not capture my attention. I despised watching you eat the peanut butter ice cream. Then...a couple minutes in...something happened. I began to respect where you were coming from. Your camera shyness made me compassionate and lured me in. Passion outshines your fear in this piece. I have always been turned off by arrogant slam poets.(not all of them are arrogant). Thanks 4 bringing a fresh element to the table. I may diGG slam after all!~JSLambert
I absolutely love this! All the description about fairytalic childhood imagination is so wonderful and makes me feel all nostalgic about my early years. This reminds me of the the slam poem "Jellyfish" by Sarah Kay.
I agree with @nyteflame on this one. It's a good poem and I enjoyed listening to it. Keep practicing:) It could very well be that you are just nervous in front of the camera, but I think you should practice on relaxing a little bit more while becoming a tad more theatrical. That can help taking it from just being someone talking to a great performance. Anyhow, I did enjoy watching your video!
Very nice! You poem is really good. As you observed, your delivery is a little choppy, but that get's better with practice. You don't think Eric Darby reads a new poem perfectly the first time? I bet he spends hours reading, rereading and reading it again. I bet he recites it to himself when he's stopped at red lights, or out grocery shopping (I bet her turns his grocery list into poetry!) You will definitely get there, this was awesome.
@nyteflame thanks! i'm always glad to hear when someone enjoys my work. that's what performing is all about, right? i usually recite my poems when I'm walking to the bus or in the shower ... but I so wish I had Eric Darby's skill. i bet he does turn grocery lists into brilliant poems - lol. thanks for your confidence in me :D
@nyteflame i was super nervous! normally when i perform i'm dancing on a stage and there aren't any cameras, just an audience I can't see because of the stage lights! that's why i made a blooper video. i hope that i'll get better with more practice. i'm really glad you enjoyed it :D
Very nice! You poem is really good. As you observed, your delivery is a little choppy, but that get's better with practice. You don't think Eric Darby reads a new poem perfectly the first time? I bet he spends hours reading, rereading and reading it again. I bet he recites it to himself when he's stopped at red lights, or out grocery shopping (I bet her turns his grocery list into poetry!) You will definitely get there, this was awesome.
That is awesome, sounds like a conversation I would have, haha! Well, I have written poems and after watching scratch and dent dreams, I found yours which, in turn, led me to write one of my own. It's not completely finished, but so far I think it came out the way I wanted it to. Thanks for some inspiration :)
@ryno33076 that's amazing! it's like the butterfly effect of inspiration ... I got it from Eric Darby and you got it from me ... i'd love to hear your poem when it's finished - we can see who catches it from you :D
@ryno33076 thank you!! i love peanut-butter too :) i actually had an hour long discussion with three of my friends yesterday about all the different ways you can use peanut-butter in cooking! lol
This is amazing!
sonusha1 1 week ago
fantastic poem - really resonated with me. thanks
ara611 1 month ago
You're glue recipe worked! ;)
ara611 1 month ago
I really liked it <3
nessietay 4 months ago
I really enjoyed the poem. I think you did a fine job. I know others want it more polished. And performing I am sure demands that. I enjoyed it just the way it is. Makes it more real and meaningful. thanks.
greydogmusic 5 months ago
very sweet in more ways than one
rpVerlaine 7 months ago
@rpVerlaine awww thank you!
TheSharpenedPencil 7 months ago
Wow. You're inspirational. Except for the ice cream. I'm vegan. :P
Sassafras1991 7 months ago
@Sassafras1991 thank you! and it's actually soy ice cream :P
TheSharpenedPencil 7 months ago 2
@TheSharpenedPencil Then you're officially amazingful. :D
Sassafras1991 7 months ago
You are awesome.
rljks 9 months ago
@rljks thank you!
TheSharpenedPencil 9 months ago
I went into this with low expectations. You did not capture my attention. I despised watching you eat the peanut butter ice cream. Then...a couple minutes in...something happened. I began to respect where you were coming from. Your camera shyness made me compassionate and lured me in. Passion outshines your fear in this piece. I have always been turned off by arrogant slam poets.(not all of them are arrogant). Thanks 4 bringing a fresh element to the table. I may diGG slam after all!~JSLambert
beezteeboy 10 months ago
@beezteeboy , you have successfully articulated my exact thoughts.
@TheSharpenedPencil , PLEASE keep doing what you do- Thanks!!
StudioiNcavo 5 months ago
I absolutely love this! All the description about fairytalic childhood imagination is so wonderful and makes me feel all nostalgic about my early years. This reminds me of the the slam poem "Jellyfish" by Sarah Kay.
suchaspacecadet 10 months ago
@suchaspacecadet I LOVE Sarah Kay! Her poems are so beautiful. I hadn't seen Jellyfish before, but I think it's my new favorite :D
TheSharpenedPencil 10 months ago
This is beautiful! It really touched me. Good job.
gerrenterry 11 months ago
@gerrenterry thanks!
TheSharpenedPencil 11 months ago
I agree with @nyteflame on this one. It's a good poem and I enjoyed listening to it. Keep practicing:) It could very well be that you are just nervous in front of the camera, but I think you should practice on relaxing a little bit more while becoming a tad more theatrical. That can help taking it from just being someone talking to a great performance. Anyhow, I did enjoy watching your video!
JaviFairground 1 year ago
opps, My apologies for the double post. I didn't realize it went through the first time.
nyteflame 1 year ago
Very nice! You poem is really good. As you observed, your delivery is a little choppy, but that get's better with practice. You don't think Eric Darby reads a new poem perfectly the first time? I bet he spends hours reading, rereading and reading it again. I bet he recites it to himself when he's stopped at red lights, or out grocery shopping (I bet her turns his grocery list into poetry!) You will definitely get there, this was awesome.
nyteflame 1 year ago
@nyteflame thanks! i'm always glad to hear when someone enjoys my work. that's what performing is all about, right? i usually recite my poems when I'm walking to the bus or in the shower ... but I so wish I had Eric Darby's skill. i bet he does turn grocery lists into brilliant poems - lol. thanks for your confidence in me :D
TheSharpenedPencil 1 year ago
@nyteflame i was super nervous! normally when i perform i'm dancing on a stage and there aren't any cameras, just an audience I can't see because of the stage lights! that's why i made a blooper video. i hope that i'll get better with more practice. i'm really glad you enjoyed it :D
TheSharpenedPencil 1 year ago
Very nice! You poem is really good. As you observed, your delivery is a little choppy, but that get's better with practice. You don't think Eric Darby reads a new poem perfectly the first time? I bet he spends hours reading, rereading and reading it again. I bet he recites it to himself when he's stopped at red lights, or out grocery shopping (I bet her turns his grocery list into poetry!) You will definitely get there, this was awesome.
nyteflame 1 year ago
That is awesome, sounds like a conversation I would have, haha! Well, I have written poems and after watching scratch and dent dreams, I found yours which, in turn, led me to write one of my own. It's not completely finished, but so far I think it came out the way I wanted it to. Thanks for some inspiration :)
ryno33076 1 year ago
@ryno33076 that's amazing! it's like the butterfly effect of inspiration ... I got it from Eric Darby and you got it from me ... i'd love to hear your poem when it's finished - we can see who catches it from you :D
TheSharpenedPencil 1 year ago
I think it was great! And I loooove peanut butter! ;)
ryno33076 1 year ago
@ryno33076 thank you!! i love peanut-butter too :) i actually had an hour long discussion with three of my friends yesterday about all the different ways you can use peanut-butter in cooking! lol
TheSharpenedPencil 1 year ago