Obama Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

[agmarkis]

FUCK SOPA. MEGAUPLOAD ALREADY DEAD. INTERNET FREE SPEECH SOON TO BE DEAD.

[franner2002]

might as well go to a fucking walmart...

[dickbuttttx4]

This Obama is a radical! What does he mean! Hes OBVIOUSLY A TERRORIST

[maxkilla69]

lulz

[Darnbath]

@CyberSheriff

I hope u know this is fake

[Nikon05]

@Darnbath he goes on all the onion videos pretending not to know they're fake

[CyberSherriff]

FUCK U OBAMA I HAVE A LOW METABOLISM. FUCKING CUNT.

[redwingfanfl]

@CyberSherriff does that mean your fat, LOL

[Link7x4m]

Obamas a genius lower standards = genius move lol

[Ignore14]

Denny's is the definition of mediocrity.

[leakingpencil]

Lol! I didn't know there was a Denny's in Manassas!

[cheesygrill8]

scrolling on the bottom-"$55 billion funded to department of putting up cones"

[gredangeo]

This so goddamn true it's not even funny anymore. no wait, of course it is. nevermind. lololol!!!

[ShampooAndCondition]

obama needs to check out walmart.

[hancock0351]

This is rife with Ted Turner depopulation type thinking. The United States has got some of the dumbest people in the world. I want you to know that we know that. Teds words

But I think I peed a little this was so funny.

[4skoolin2learn0]

but i could barely hear him coz this little bitch kept crying his head off LOL!!!!

[nosredna1624]

scroll bar across the bottoms best story "treasury secretary announces that he is trying to remember key parts to a dream in which he saved the economy"

[federalwarhawk]

I am a Conservative Republican, but have to agree with Democrates that most people are immature morons that don't know how to manage their lives, or make good life choices, without some type of government oversight to limit self destructive behavior,

[qpeterx]

Depressing, but sorta true.

[Moriachik]

This... Can't be genuine...

[bollocks2who]

@Moriachik ....but it is genuine...

[maddogmatt44]

this is fuckin hysterical!

[flameflyer1]

This is hilarious... yet, a wake up call, as some people do need to get their head out of their ass. 

[gamerunknown]

"Sri Lanka kills 300k to avoid pandemic": sadly, true. 

[scottg4520]

"Avoid telling your child his placemat drawing is 'real shit'

[GuppyOdyssey]

I've never eaten at a Denny's and felt good afterwords.

[sunnyskiesblue]

1:45 ROTFLMAO

[painsey]

hey guys at the Onion, do a video on Von helton hes a youtube user, hes mental.

[dudeapokemon]

haaaa... it's funny because it is true.

[scottg4520]

These are pretty concrete american values

[ThomasTheCure]

1:05

every denny's employee that's ever served me.

[dbfan2scfan]

Lol at the "Change we need very badly" part.

(Avoid telling your child his placemat drawing is 'real shit' LOL!)

[scottg4520]

everyline in this is gold

[zyy321dory]

Everyone who's saying "America is better" [without providing any proof whatsoever] in response to the comment from Canada... Exactly. 

[Lightscribe225]

@zyy321dory Those are Americans who have never heard of humor. Every country has them. We just have louder versions.

[TMzong]

you know i dont agree with alot of political views but this much disrespect deserves a beating.

[freba91]

@TMzong I feel sorry for Obama,the tea party congress doe's not give him a chance.I would vote for Hitler

before I would Rick Perry I live in Texas and at least Obama has a heart and that is more than I can say for

Perry !

[irishtrash15]

For some reason, the "pound of eggs with syrup" bit was funniest to me. Maybe because it sounds disgusting.

[Che8t]

... Wait, so I'm NOT supposed to be calling the people who handle my food cunts?

[ctrlaltdelete5]

FFFAAAAKKKKEEEE

[ragnarthesemigreen]

Who else wants to nail Andrea Bennett?

[Professicchio]

I soooooooo wished Obama actually did something like that.

[Snortemup]

Whoa I was reading the text across the bottom and when i was done looked at the videos and the side and they were scrolling. Trippy.

[101101101777]

Too obese to ride hover boards.......that would suck

[TheLeftiesrule]

Lol, watch it again and read the captions at the bottom of the screan!!! They're halarious.

[The222watcher]

Dear Canada-

Put the tape back on your mouth, or the nukes come out.

Forever your military superior,

America

[MrFreako2010]

@The222watcher Nuking a contiguous country takes way more bombs than brains. Ever heard of wind currents?

[liOVERLOADil]

I'm not supposed to call my waitress a cunt?

[thecapone45]

1:09,,, LMAO!

[Strang3rDanger]

Sadly this really is what America is like.

[MrDarthroadkill]

the waiter tina gill was in the one about the nations shawnas not being able to get fake tans

[grantdaddy1]

TRhumbs up if you believed this was a report from a "REAL" news network.

[omgimsocoolable]

@grantdaddy1 no ur just dumb lol jk

[DubStepVIIX]

dude that denny's is all fucked up lol

[hamiltonjsh]

109 people want america to remain an embarrassing, disgusting, shit hole!

[MarijnStevens]

@hamiltonjsh or fat people that want to ride hover boards :D

[hamiltonjsh]

@MarijnStevens just curious.....what comment of mine are you responding to? I can't find it.

[MarijnStevens]

@hamiltonjsh Youtube comments sucks... aaah Something like: "111 people want america to stay a shithole "

[pashun88]

oh no! Too obese to ride hover boards!!!? Shit.

[IQ567891234]

this is why i dont go to Denny's

[cghizzoni]

loved it. the truth isn't funny. It's hilarious.

[noahlankford1]

@cghizzoni Except its not the truth. Its fake.

[vegetarian2000]

...vomit on his chocolate chip pancakes, and immediately go back to sleep. LOL

[frankenstang57]

Start walking to the liquor store instead of driving. LOL.

[cyconline]

Fuck these faggots! aint nothin wrong with this country and i dont give a fuck what obama nigger wants me to do

[Adriangrosvenor]

@cyconline what an asshole you are. Lmao another idiot is borned every minute. Your mom was thinking that the moment she laid eyes on you.

[jesusfaps2]

@Adriangrosvenor borned? what an idiot

[jesusfaps2]

@cyconline america is a shit hole. so blind to how fucked up your country is

[Neosaigo]

@jesusfaps2 Some of us do know how fucked up the country is believe me. We have our hands full preventing the idiots from taking over the white house, and don't know when we can actually make some progress considering the political situations.

[vsdefender]

@jesusfaps2

I wouldn't talk if I were you. You obviously have no idea of the stupidity your judicial system and government is up to. As one person put it, "Australia is making America look sane by comparison."

[jesusfaps2]

@vsdefender Nobody said that

[ShaithMaster]

@jesusfaps2 He's right, Australia is the Alabama of the world.. only more fucking stupid.. If you were from, say, Germany, where the GDP is rising, and the government is doing reasonably well for its citizens, you would be more justified. But you're from fucking Australia? Just shut up..

[WillyBumm]

@cyconline YOU ARE THE DUMBEST FUCKING SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN. YOU ARE SO DUMB, THAT I HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS TO ANIMATE HOW DUMB YOU ARE. DUMB SHIT.

[Red4466]

@cyconline "aint nothing wrong with this country" take a look out ur window

[ShaithMaster]

@Red4466 I think he's joking dummy

[Vaizorg]

Oh my god I can't stop laughing after seeing the Obama "Invest in our Future" ad and enjoying the relation between the two.

[u7alll]

lol first time i saw onion i believed it. im british and already saw the bullshit on fox news and kinda thought this could be a possibility

[beesnakeable]

@u7alll Stay in the U.K, faggot.

[flameflyer1]

@beesnakeable Why do you have to be so serious?

[stonerkid10]

A new study shows that in 2025, American children will be too obese to ride hoverboards. Lmfao

[StalkingRainbow]

If he thought Denny's was bad wait untill he visits waffle house.

[smithx807]

@StalkingRainbow Lol, it's only terrible because they killed the health inspector.

[TheMichaelshifflette]

LOL this has to be a joke!!!!

[Rickyrab]

Ahh, so that's where the House Republican caucus has been meeting lately!

[Rickyrab]

where is my birth certificate, come to think of it?

[Zelouzos]

Mr. Hussein, where is your birth cerificate?

[TheMagicalGypsy]

@Zelouzos Mr.Zelouzos, where is your brain?

[shoplifting1is1fun]

@Zelouzos

Oh shut it.

[whaleofashrimp]

109 people have tweety bird tatoos

[Counse]

Dear America -

Yes, you can be an embarrassing, disgusting shit-hole, but that kind of fucked-up-edness provides for the funniest, most brilliantly satirical comedy on Earth.

Forever your (drinking) buddy,

Canada

[MrBrilliantChaos]

@Counse Atleast were not the shit whole called ALL of EU

[HOLIMOUNT]

@Counse you my friend win everything Canada fuck yeah¡¡¡

[scroungermattface]

@Counse thanks for the weed canada

[Counse]

@scroungermattface

You're very welcome. Thanks for the comedians we watch while blazing it.

[rasputozen]

@Counse speaking for America, it's good to have you as our drinking buddy, but are you gonna back us up when China starts looking for their money?

[Counse]

@rasputozen

Absolutely. We'll just remind them of a little thing called World War II.

[WorldWideWreckage]

@Counse China was an ally to America in World War II -___-

[anonymousman555]

@rasputozen China wont ask for the money because then the United States will stop trading raw materials with them. There are other countries in the world that will make stuff for less than a worker from the United States, and the Chinese government is aware of this.

[dojahfox929]

@Counse  fucked-up-edness ? our country is better . for real tho wtf has Canada done as far as anything except for trailer park boys and shitty beer

[Counse]

@dojahfox929

Whoa, whoa, whoa... Shitty beer? My cat has pissed better-tasting concoctions than Bud Light.

[rebelslayer13]

@Counse Someone who literally drinks cat piss shouldn't be allowed to judge beer.

But in all seriousness, Molson ftw.

[GnosticAtheist]

@dojahfox929 Dude, relax. It was funny.

[flameflyer1]

@dojahfox929 Maybe learning how to type correctly?

[mpetan89]

@Counse Dear Canada,

I'm sorry that you are.

Best Wishes,

America (Fuck Yeah)

[votumseparatum1]

@mpetan89 Dear America,

Please don't leave Afghanistan.

You will ruin all our hard work of putting you into financial ruins.

Sincerely,

Random Taliban guy in a location I can't disclose to you...at the moment.

Death to Allah!! I mean, America, America.

[klm4298]

@Counse Oh I hate cunts like you. Not people who make fun of America, fuck America, but the people who live in a culture identical to the U.S's and still make fun of America for its culture.

[Counse]

@klm4298

Well, you know what they say about cunts: you are what you eat.

[bollocks2who]

@Counse LMAO!! Dude you are so funny! "You are what you eat"

[Counse]

@bollocks2who

Thanks, buddy. Also works for "pussy" and, if you swing that way, "dickhead".

[TheYouwontgetit]

@Counse ...well then you haven't been to finland yet... ...i haven't either - but it is something to think about...

[thecapone45]

1:07... OMFG!! LMAO!

[okamiwolf250]

WOOT! Greensboro representing (watch the news scroller at the beginning)

[tijnmans]

This isn't even such a bad idea XD

[albinorhino321]

American kids will be too fat to ride hover boards...

[jheetman]

does anyone else think andrea bennet is hot as hell?

[MrBendorandoran]

@freeclamdiscussion mabey I'm just bad at multitasking :D

[MrBendorandoran]

@freeclamdiscussion Because it says some really funny stuff

[MrBendorandoran]

Thumbs up if you watch the video twice... once to watch the video, and again to read the captions at the bottom of the screen :)

[Martena56]

"Not calling your waitress a cunt"? I thought that was a great American Pastime?

[hundredand]

@Martena56 Lol, no, that's Britain's pastime :D

[CoolerKing37]

Suprised Obama was allowed inside the restaurant, Denny's doesn't care for negroes....

[KapustaCuber]

Sigh, I wish this were true.

[TheUsername1029]

Some of Obama's goals are realistic but asking permission before touching a girl's breasts is defnitely not realistic.

[cghizzoni]

This is almost a little too true to be funny.

[pr0kris]

At least the children will be able to ride their hoverboards in 2015, when they're scheduled for release.

[adamstrader12]

hahahahahaha think about walking to the liquor store down the block, instead of driving. we think America can do it!!!

[flamed65]

lolollolo

[MagnusTheSnake]

Does it still count as satire if it's mostly true?

[machete9899]

@MagnusTheSnake Comedy is truth in pain

[Fibonacci1334]

@MagnusTheSnake shut up u stupid brit

[MagnusTheSnake]

@Fibonacci1334 Wow! Not even close

[sam06pr]

love it!!

[gra2172]

107 people eat at dennys

[gotrottin]

I thought this was supposed to be satirical?

[yulikesrice]

@gotrottin lol

[anisete46]

@gotrottin ROFL

[pwn0grapher]

Man anyone else WISH this is REAL?

[stbays]

@pwn0grapher

I'd say less wishing it were and more wishing it weren't...

[GKid51892]

i have to watch the video twice just to read the hilarious shit at the bottom of the screen..lol

[MrVabeachdad]

Is it still legal to get Tweety Bird tattoos?

[LoverBoyJayJay]

Virgina. haha.

[micahgee]

LOL @ 1:09

Tina is smoking next to a "NO SMOKING" sign

[Cfreezin]

We hope to inspire all of America to band together and make our nation a little bit less of an embarrassing disgusting shit hole.

Truer words were never spoken.

[xPythox]

Come on guys! Let's band together and make this country a little less of an embarrassing, disgusting shit hole!

[t1mTV]

@xPythox please don't, its too much fun watching you guys spiral down the drain.

[poesidon2323]

@xPythox your to late

[atmatheprophet]

Landing Fee. LOL

[getsumdog]

google cud suck my dick

[nlchamps07fan]

dang the president was kinda harsh to america. . . . maybe it was just a bad dennys or something not all people are like that and it makes me mad when the leader of our country cant realize that. . . . what an idiot!

[SANPH]

@nlchamps07fan ..... lol

[Lewa500]

@nlchamps07fan You do realize that The Onion News is only a parody, right?

[Protains]

@nlchamps07fan riiiiiight...(dr. evil voice)

[shamwowftl]

Waitress:Here's you waffels hun.

Me: Thanks cunt.

[MrSafetymeeting]

Come on Obama. Were not all fat an stoopid. If I could just git me another stimulus check Im sher I could get my shit together.

[rapboyjeremy]

Well we know one thing is fersher true in this video... All of the americans that were "interviewed" are real. Thats how we americans are :)

[zleverette]

0:54-1:10 those were people that voted for obama and r also liberals

[Jrollzz]

@zleverette I'm smarter then you bitch

[zleverette]

@Jrollzz huh? what does that even have to do with anything?

[krazydude93]

Strangely enough. The Denny's around here are actually quite nice.

lol.

But i'm sure they can come pretty horrible in other parts of the country.

[knox89gutierrez]

It's supposed to be a free country I understand safety but the way people dress and stuff WTF

[Truggy]

Thumbs up if you'd watch an actual 24 hour onion news station.

[kevinhxc441]

@Truggy oh fuck yes lol XD

[ashvio]

@Truggy One is actually coming out now XD

[u7alll]

@Truggy theres an even more crazy one, fox news

[bbuckingham09]

I wish they would mix one clip from the onion in the nightly news... that would make watching it so much more fun and you would be able to debate with your friends what the fake one was :)

[iazy9]

i love these videos they deserve to be on tv and the quotes they say at the end are awesome

[Scan4ness69]

"Airlines Institue Landing Fee" lmaooo smhhh

[Cassieavalos]

I Watch The Video Twice Jus To Read The Announcements Running At The Bottom Of The Screen While The Vid Is Playing :D

[dgb751]

i saw photos at the courthouse today (cause of jury duty) of Orange County in the early 1/2 of the century; everyone was thin and wore 3-piece suits and derbys, even to the beach. We really have gone downhill miserably.

I'm guessing that my comment is in the .5% category.

[PurpleStorm8]

"To help us band together and help make our nation of a less embarissing, discusting, shit-hole"

I'm willing to be that even Americans would agree with that.

[pandaEmpress]

not calling your waitress a cunt... <3

[PraetorShinzon]

FUCKIN GENIUS

[dillonator42]

Greatest Onion video ever. Genius!