British Speaker Resigns! gnooze May 20, 2009

[M77A77]

BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRING.....



[Squarerig]

Marta,actually martin-Gorbals Mick to his "friends"-speaks with an unintelligible scottish accent-he comes from Glasgow!

[SE962582C]

@Squarerig The thickest Scots Glaswegian, and certainly not a mix of Cockney, Norfolk/Suffolk and Wessex.

[IWill0nlyLoveMyself]

May 20 is my birthday

[enirhpenipe]

5*****

[Tressco]

Not perfect, but actually quite good!

[3v0six]

Yep we all talk like we are from merry poppins! Oi governeeerrrr, chip off the old block, corrr blimey!!!

Well done... fucking yanks

[gnooze]

Oh yeah, you got it. You're like some kind of mind reader. That's exactly what I think.

[3v0six]

Really sorry gnooze! My little ejit of a brother posts comments that may come across slightly brash, he's 15.

Carry on doing what you do!

Peace from the UK x

[Squarerig]

Martha ,your british accent,while it might not fool a real limey is really not too bad.Keep at it;you tell the news like it really is-or at least should be!

[AfrikanerBroadcast]

In Commemoration of

The 99th Anniversary of The Union of South Africa

&

The 48th Anniversary of The Republic of South Africa.

The Afrikaner Broadcasting Corporation is Proud to Broadcast

Three Episodes of An Artistic Rendition Documenting The History of Our Nation.

The Afrikaner Broadcasting Corporation Presents:

Ons Vir Jou Suid-Afrika / At Thy Will South Africa

[origana3]

Ladies and

Gentlemen

MayI introduce to u Johnny the Ramonsees

The gis silent etc...

[origana3]

eog meen marta...?4u

[origana3]

Mrs M last ? 4u ... ihsv forgot to say dam icnat. remebr mi idea.

[origana3]

Mathra I feel my bad cg say bad stf&mommee say us well must ibe unsubscccc

i gussee oh wwll ai don.t no i jus gusse bi mathra i geuse maybe bi haha inow how ulive martha relax ihav nu idea

[origana3]

Hi Marta me again ? 4u

May I suggest this 'something' is the end of the world as we humans know it? Today I listened to some professors discussing attempts to save 10% of our rain forests. The outlook? Zero!

On the news there were two different reports that we are no longer producing enough food to feed the growing world population.

roducedAnother news item reported it took more energy to scrub the CO2 from coal-fired smoke-stacks than that much coal p.

Tru of phoney baloney ???

[sommarti]

always funny enough to come back:-)

[origana3]

amn U NO WAT MY MOMMEE SAYS BUT U

bITCH LIE DEDEET BITCH' i ASDK Y MOMMEE SHE SAY FOOL U R DECEIVED IU ASDK WAT U MEEN MOMMEE SHE SAY TO BEABSOVED DON OTPAY THE FOOL \\

? FOR U MATHA  R U A FOOL A PLU TO DECIEVE NE IN MY QUEST FOR NO LEGE

[origana3]

Boring see CG too much

re my reference

Boringg see CG 2 mush

[origana3]

Boring see CG too much

My song to Martha

DEar MARTHA

Won.t u cum out and palay hey ya

[origana3]

Martha FTW

[origana3]

huh evolutions is man called

dearwin

Mrs M I guess idon.t no Mrs M are u a man sometimes idon.t I guess stupid ? make go away. k i dont. i gusee i go watch cg over k bye talk u latr.

[origana3]

ok hI mARTHA ME AGAIN ?4U I ask mom how old befor Martha and me she says y don.t you Mrs M i say Martha /4u how old, an udder ? my dad say et all ad infinitum al lot he woont tell me wat it meen says to young I say Martha ?4u do u no.

[origana3]

Hi Matha CatGirraffee wasn.t very fune tody Martha ?4u whatis Britissh accent meen.

[friedunderware]

i like your videos alot, "nothing to do with the bailout"

[origana3]

The smile of a child skin textured as teh rose infull bloom Marta awake come out and palay........

[origana3]

My mom says yoour to olde for me i quess so i hoepe my next girlfrend is like u tho

k bye goona go wtch catterpillar giraffe aka CG

[origana3]

Marta more empasis on teh hand gun routine poow poow and wave them arownd more kep hammerin the politicians but more insanity references

etc.........

[origana3]

The velvet petal fallen from the boom

Carelessly crushed underfoot ;disregard

&[qoute]

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud

was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

- Anais Nin

[BRAINSTORM555]

sod the pocket CHANGE G. Brown sold of 400 tons yes 400 tons 6 years back and we just found out when he sold it was at 256 now its 576 per

and they blow this shit up to put us off the trail how DUME are we ????

[BigglesBast09]

Loved the accent there Marta, very cockney better then mine ; - )

[origana3]

In a vacuum Light cannot become visible. It must first strike some matter or being. Marta you are that Being you are the Light of my Consciousness alas unrequited forsaken alone abandoned Marta have Mercy reconsider My.....

[maximumvalues]

and a one-way youtube love affair is born

[origana3]

My mind drifts back to a chace encounter withe the members of the vanilla fudge santa cruz possibly tieera del fuego all i recall is the enormity of tehs e mudd shaks so vf and my group mofi

cofme up wfith

Msharhk shark ya m sharjk shark shark;

Takie it down the freewafy wai o wai o wai owai o

All the girls wfant is really slow way oh way oh waayyy oh way oh oh

Damn john u missed the fitfth on that returen: reload

[origana3]

I,m Canadian mentally ill too many life suppressors ie et all ad infinitum_+]

Marta you're considered opinion:

In the secret cave of the heart, two are seated

By life's fountain. The separate ego

Drinks of the sweet and bitter stuff,

Liking the sweet, disliking the bitter,

While the supreme Self drinks sweet and bitter

Neither liking this nor disliking that.

The ego gropes in darkness, while the Self

Lives in light.

[MissWaterhouse]

Ah, I'm British and totally loved your accent xD

[maximumvalues]

so Obama knows what we need in 2016 and they can't get what we need tomorrow right. should be an interesting few years from now until then. this weekend he was asked by reporter "when will the US be out of money?" his answer "we are out of money". and he is spending the money we are going to magically create from now until 2016. great plan black bush.

watch?v=2UyC892VEcA

watch?v=JnX-D4kkPOQ

[origana3]

Marta I can make you happy I have what you desire.

All the girls want it really slow way oh wayoh wayyyoh way oh oh

Take it down the freeway waiowaiowaiowaio ya

[strav12]

A most British accent...but nice to have the satirical take on our politics - there's a strange silence over here amongst comedians while the journalists who hardly squeaked at the bankers screw up are letting out all that repressed cathartic festering boil of emotions onto 'defenceless' MPs.... Thanks again for keeping the cogs chug chugging along!

[DarthMai]

Hurray to more charges on credits card users who pay on time ...this country has gone crazier ...and people are still so naive...still enjoying life ...wayching American idol while the country is going down the drain.

[DarthMai]

yeah..reducing emissions...higher taxes, higher prices of cars,..taxes on CO2, taxes for cooking, more tax and tax...more taxes on sodas, beer,..and anthing they can think of..

[Ludynosa]

There isnt one British accent, theres a whole load of different ones, just like in America... but you did do a pretty good job of that one! You sounded like a true londoner!!! Great video, as always ^_^

[djalmood]

she sounded more australian than cockney to me, but it was still enjoyable :)

[desirefirst]

bring back the former opening, it has more of you which if you remember is what the gnooze is about. fancy graphics fails to necessarily mean it's better.

[hey1031]

Awesome! =)

haha the accents weren't that bad, the southern one was really good though! =)

[Barnsy2507]

I love the new credits :D Love your british accent - it sounded pretty good!

[ftbotsb]

your Brit may be off according to you, but your hillbilly is KILLER LOL ROTFL

[acberquist]

Your British is fabulous. I watch the BBC all the time!

[lcc1211]

What I love about BBC is the warning they post for us about accents and how not all Brits can understand all Brits, so they've added subtitles.

[anmoose]

Hahaha! Not to worry, Marta. That British accent is so horrible it's perfect. Sounds just like a few real Brits I know. LOL

[gnooze]

Don't worry: I don't believe a word of it. :)

[Jerricho68]

We still love you. You can't be an expert over night. Practice man practice.

[audadvnc]

Arrr - Avast, yer British accent is farrr betterrrr than me' Pirate accent! Shiver me timbers!

[Cubicleboy04]

That was no missing link. That was man-bear-pig!

[SCBaldi2007]

Im British and i couldnt understand it...

[ujdo]

Switch to NGV and it won't be a problem.

[daman197]

You tried best at british accent lol, still funny tho

[xoxb2]

Brilliant as ever. The accent was a bit mobile, travelling around different parts of southern England and periods of history, but who cares ... mind you, Mikey Martin is Glaswegian, so you need to sound like someone skinning a weasel. Sort of "aaaargh-aa rrrghgh pounds please".

[mgsmgs2]

the brit accent was ok, but just losen it up a little. try listening to/watching the film adaptation of oliver for some hints for your cockney accent. :)

btw we're not all cockneys x

[Jerricho68]

British accent should be more slack jawed and colloquial. Good start. You can do it. What about the home secretary for formerly great britain? Jacqui Smith is the Joseph Goebbels of our time. She banned free speech and billed the UK government for her husbands porn. Her days are numbered. All of these fascists come to a bad end.

[JB000001]

They're all an absolute shower of shit.  I hope all the mainstream parties get a thorough thumping in the forthcoming (local and European) elections.

[Jerricho68]

Jacqui Smith is in a great deal of danger. Black listing Michael Savage was an act of war. He has 10 million followers. Your quaint little island has only 61 million. We should break of all diplomatic ties and suspend all trade. Next we should follow that up with a naval blockade and strafe your cities. As the muslims have proved, violence is the only way to get the attention of the thick headed brits. You have tourists over here even. Stay out. A hard rain is gonna fall.

[JB000001]

American democracy may not be perfect, but it's certainly healthier than ours. Something serious needs to happen.

An American invasion wouldn't be so bad -- can you save us from the blasted EUSSR?

[JB000001]

Oh, I forgot about the pussies you have in your congress as well though: "Yes Mr 'Bankster' -- how many trillions would you like again, sir?"

Still, you did do better than us: at least you had *some* debate!

[lcc1211]

The EU is troublesome to me - especially since the egocentric French seem to lead it around by the nose.

[JB000001]

It's not just Michael Savage you know, she's even been intimidating opposition MPs! (In what has become known as 'the Damian Green affair'. The Speaker's role in this contributed to his downfall.)

Like I say: it's not healthy!

[quovardiss]

LMAO LMAO LMAO the car makers are pissed, i knew youd have ago at the british expenses scandal. I think your British accent was jolly good. Im a londoner and think your so cool and american and stuff x x x x x x x x x x TOP STORY !

[tony8nz]

I still prefer the old intro

[Diasfu]

Love the accent!

Not really british though..

[musicaltomboy]

Haha,gnooze to the rescue.I thought the British Accent was pretty good,especially the part where you said Scapegoat.

[MBRHIndustries]

The science tshirt was my desktop wallpaper last month!

[addictfan]

gnooze makes life better

[JB000001]

The Bilderberg Group met last weekend you know.

[JB000001]

Oh great; glad to see the "Motherfucker of all Parliaments" is still managing to enhance its worldwide reputation.

No fear though: UK MP's expense claims are just a drop in the ocean. Our ruling classes' contempt for those they claim to serve goes much further than that. This display just makes it seem more palpable than usual, that's all.

[jx14aby]

Bravo!

Loved the british accent It's got just a touch of valley girl i love so much.  And the shot of sarah p! Priceless!

[redbrest]

2:41That Face, Marta I could Just Kiss You, Your so dam cute.

That Face LOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLLLOOLLO

Good News Cast Tooooooooooo

[HaleyMary]

That was a great British accent. :)

[moneyman21219]

That was a good sounding British accent.

[scottmhoward]

Hi, Marta!  =)

....Just wanted to say hi.

(=

[gnooze]

Hi Scott! That made me smile!

[vigilantvillan]

you can bet your @ss Obama will not be riding around in a more fuel efficient car,,also enjoy the rise of gas prices in order to force consumers to buy the stupid @ss cars.

[rpottage]

Well of course not. His limo is bullet proof, rocket proof, with a rocket proof bottom in case of mines and has stored blood in case he needs an emergency tranfusion. His car is more tricked out than the batmotank (Batman begins and the Dark Knight). Would you really give that up?

[mayor600]

Well done Marta a good stab at the old accent there mygirl. We had our moat filled in, tourists kept falling in and attacking the lions. Damned colonials.

Talking of evolution, Ida and the former Speaker same attention span, goldfish

[TWITfromURANUS]

The accent?

I'd buy that for a pound ¦:¬þ

X

[onlyontheradio]

the british accent wasn't that bad! maybe not authentic, but it wasn't bad at all

[GaiashKetoji]

Perhaps you could have a collection of different British accents. I think mimicing Catherine Tate's "Am I bothered" voice would be the perfect choice to represent us.

[TheReceptionist]

Pip Pip, Marta. Pip, pip.

[stargirlsusan]

5*, still that doesn't mean we came from the monkey, but what ever marta

[xsleef]

Russia liked those govt made cars too,small and alway broke waiting on parts.Kinda funny how Dictators rise up and so many worship them as their being enslaved huh.Good thing we have so many stupid ppl going for this new dictatorship.haha idiot tards.Way to go you helped enslave us all.

[pbunyan568]

"Allo, gubna" haha.

[MillionthUsername]

I'll bet those scientists are glad that fossils always come with a date stamp and a set of exhaustive birth and death records. Otherwise, they'd probably think it was just a dead monkey.

Marta, I fear your Russian accent may team up with your French accent and kill the British one. Be careful. Accents cannot be trusted.

[KlaxonCow]

Fossils do come with date stamps.

There's the radioactive decay of the fossil, the radioactive decay of the surrounding geology - and there's more than one kind of isotope that you can individually tested to get corroborative evidence.

Note that the known processes that produce fossilisation most certainly take over 6,000 years to occur - so even if the science was wrong (which it isn't because this shit is backed up by masses of evidence), it most definitely doesn't mean the Bible is right.

[JB000001]

Would you really expect the Bible to spell out the precise mechanisms by which everything has been created for people?

Even today: if the nature of the universe was to be explained to us -- who could understand it?

[MillionthUsername]

"Fossils do come with date stamps"

It would be fun if they did. Hence the joke.

They only use igneous rocks for dating, under the assumption that there were no daughter elements in the rock when it first formed (among other assumptions). Lacking that, they use their belief in evolution to date the strata, and the strata to date the fossil - which is circular.

"fossilisation most certainly take over 6,000 years"

Not true at all. Fossils can form very quickly.

Many examples exist.

[Jerricho68]

Fossils have been formed in as little as 150 years. Fossilized remains of cowboys have been found. Evolution is not science. Evolution is a religion for the gullible like scientology.

[lcc1211]

How accurate are they? Do scientists know how to adjust their estimates based on how much radioactive decay there is?

[poprocks889]

Yep. It's called carbon dating and has something to do with radioactive isotopes I think? You should look it up since I don't know much about it, but that's how scientists date fossils. No 'exhaustive birth and death records' needed!

[MillionthUsername]

"It's called carbon dating"

No. That is used for short term dating. There must be organic matter in it. They never address the question of residual C14. Shouldn't it all be gone eventually? Also, they ought to have carbon-dated that T-Rex soft tissue they found, but for some reason they don't.

"No 'exhaustive birth and death records' needed!"

I was referring to the claim of ancestry. This is

scientifically unknowable, hence absurd to call it science.

[poprocks889]

Yes, it's "scientifically unknowable" as in we can never be 100% sure that any theory about it is correct, but that's how it is with a lot of sciences, not just evolution. Just because it's not completely irrefutable doesn't make it not scientific.

You're right about carbon dating, though. My mistake.

[Jerricho68]

That is not how scientists date fossils. They date based on the layer of strata they were pulled out of. How do they date the strata. By the fossils they find in it. Evolution is a religion.

[w1e2s3s4k5i6l7e8s9]

YEAH! BABY! YEAH!!!

[batflies]

i,m evolving as i watch this, really.

[oilslug]

lol the english accent sounded like the little mouse from tom and jerry

[Jerricho68]

He does not talk man.

[AimiriZ]

awesome accent!!!

[Elrich89]

One star for the insulting attempt at an accent.

[gnooze]

I warned you!

I'm not sure how you're insulted by my inability to do a proper accent though.

[Jerricho68]

Don't listen to this bullocks. Your accent is fine. Keep working on it. I believe the crooked British politicians are going to be a treasure trove of new material. Tea and crumpets all around, cheers.

[greenNebula]

That is a perplexing comment, Elrich89. How can an attempt at an accent be insulting?

[angelis021]

It sounded like a british acccent from the 19th centruy which made it more funny.

[albinwonderland]

I love you marta , sooo funny !

'NOPE , WE LIKE IT !'

My friends were talking about grizzly bears the other day and I was like 'BEARS LOVE VODKA '

nobody got it .

But I know you would have , had you been there .

[iwande]

tipicarl americans only one part of london talks like that so hhhhaaaa.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sivant]

fun, but yea, that was butchering!!!! don't let that stop you from doing it some more though, I certainly don't mind.

[PsyogiBottoms]

The British accent was fine, just a little dated...what was that Eliza Doolittle from circa 1912? lol

You still get 5 Stars from me - excellent reporting as usual M. Love you and your show, keep it up.

[DookofHDP]

I've always wanted a moat. That would be totally cool. I'd fill it with electric eels. Booya! :D

<3

[IAMyouronlyGOD]

VERY HOT accent !!!!

[mike8494]

I Love your work Marta your are the best :-) Mike..........

[andreous7]

I didn't evolve from a monkey...I am a Monkey!

Nice croc :-)

[SonomaDave1]

British accent was perfect! What in the world were you talking about?

But seriously...

I loved High School Science class; especially the Old Testiment.

[deaftone311]

it's pound not pounds, like 2200 Pound .. the accent was a bit 19th century cockney, like those ladies of the night in that ole jack the ripper movie.

[madskizophrenik]

Hahahahahahaha evolution...I believe in it...one day we all will open our eyes and we will find out the answers we are seeking. You know when that day is? yeah...when we die.

[fghnpoma]

Great video Gal

5**

[practicalmagic9]

aww! You went all eliza doolittle for us! suhweet!

[ShadowOfADaemon]

lol ... that was amazing.... lol... oh it brought tear to my eye i was laughing so hard.... its been a while since i've actualy heard someone speaking like a true working class brit... you did an amazing job... keep up the good work

[newutubejunkie]

LOL again. English accent was Great!

[sopeauh]

your british accent sounds a bit australian

[DillonX]

The British accent was right on ...I happened to be in the other room when you started it & I would've sworn it was another person.

[rockisticrocker]

That was AMAZING! A cockney in the house of commons is bloody genius! (I am completely aware that it was unintentional but it was well funny). Your awesome!!

[AfricanMadman]

Miss. C, It's fine, it's funny because your doing it, not because it's a British accent.....

Keep on rock'n gnooze! 4/5, (Reason: this report was not long enough, i like to see more gnooze, please? pretty please, with sugar on top....? Please? Martra? anyone? Come on man?)

[BethOnTop]

Haha, I can't say that was the BEST attempt at an English accent haha :)

[hackermis]

i am the ancestor of human kind. to explain that im half ape-half human :)

[rhymingwithoranges]

... at least you tried (jokes :P)

[Loreki]

You're just concerned cause for a moment you thought: Do we really sound like that?

Great effort, and the least tacky American coverage I've seen of the scandal. Other stuff I saw was like one of those celebrity specials where they show off all the fancy things a celebrity has. Only instead of J-lo spent $500k last year on butt scratchers it was £2200 on moat cleaning.

[ZachsMind]

Ida was found in Germany, so she'd require a german accent.

I was thinking Eliza Doolittle too when Marta threw down her Brit accent. I miss Audrey Hepburn. =(

[themaskedanalyst]

Loved your Ida imitation. And the first British accent was great! (the second one was hardly an accent at all).

Now, can you combine them and do an imitation of Ida as if she were born in Great Britain?

[hypnofan35]

That's an Eliza Dolittle accent. That's like street English from the 19th century.

[hypnofan35]

That's a super missing link impersonation for a girl.

[rockisticrocker]

Agreed, it was like cockney street urchin british... but it was still hilarious!

[SE962582C]

@rockisticrocker No, it was actually something slightly different all together, more that of Norfolk/Suffolk.

[SE962582C]

@hypnofan35 I actually doubt it. 

[xChriiss]

Marta=epic winner =)