Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times

[GigawingsVideo]

I used to put suspicious packages all around the world just like you, but then I took a bullet in the knee.

[MrBigEnchilada]

dang that's a gurl skout kookie???

[29sailornaruto]

what the hell!!?

where iam i suppose to get my suspicious looking packages from now?

[ArcTerVic]

Mysterious Bags & Boxes...

"It could be anything"

XD

[katt541]

Human clones are safe to eat by other human clones?!

[Wahlberger]

fucking INCEPTION MUSIK advertisement..... O.O

[loveofwolfs]

They close the business and then implode the building. Priceless. I'm surprised that the government didn't save the businesses from going under, Seen how everything that they do is suspicious it would be the perfect cover. Lol.

[naorable]

@snookied15  RWJ?

[mydogskip7]

I find this video very pronktatious.

[ocergnairb]

lol

[TheCrawler333]

If the auto industries can get a bail out from the government, then the suspicious pacakge industry should do the same.

[gts5001]

unidentifiable container ROFL

[shakeycamerafilms]

haha this is perfect

[1angryartist]

HILARIOUSLY well done!

[youngfart40]

What I want to know is how do these "reporters" do this stuff and keep a straight face....

[Justification75]

@youngfart40 good acting

[eatmytool1]

@youngfart40 the same way you dad did your mom without laughing...it works! you're proof!

[panther0567]

Great, now I have to travel more than 50 miles to find a suspicious package store.

[eleutheromaniac]

wow those building implosions remind me a lot of (comment censored by US government)

[Guyu]

00:00

[yermom014]

This incredibly saddens me that thee guys got shut down.

I too got my wife a blinking and beeping mysterious box.

[astrolifter]

Did anyone notice that guy walking in a TV screen in the background? My experience leads me to suspect the supernatural.

[wastemind]

So sad that mysterious bags and boxes went bankrupt. I loved shopping there, and was doing so for many years. Another precious memory destroyed by aggressive capitalism. When will people open their eyes???

[JoshTheBosssssssssss]

this is like reading some magazine at walmart thats says michael jackson is still alive

[Christianvirtue]

Gerl scout kookies. Lol

[mmmmmarcus]

I have a suspicious package. 

[DJMC5ive]

@mmmmmarcus o.O i see whut u did thar!

[TimeQueenofRome]

While the suspicious package industry is falling on hard times in the United States, the industry is having a big boom in the Middle East. Once the Terror Alert Level is eliminated, we'll see the suspicious package economy in America return to normal levels.

[pkersoul]

Gerl Skout Kookies Yum! Open Quick!

[brokenbrain13]

Sometimes those ending lines can be funnier than the video itself.

[huswsimonbla]

suspicious package industry!? lmao haha

[formless777]

FDA approves human clones as fit for consumption by other human clones.

[1217jesss]

i hear the suspicious package industry is being outsourced to the midldle east for slave wages.

[redsawdom]

The un-identifiable powders and chemicals industries will be the next to go.

[formless777]

@redsawdom

Damn, those un-identifiable chemical guys are the ones I go to when I absolutely positively must have unreproducible results. What will I do ? :(

[goldragon988]

Ok, explain this one to me.

[PUMKINMANforever]

"It could be anything"

[DoubleGlog]

Hypothethically speaking , what would you do in a hypothethical situation?

[andyllamanipl]

Who noticed that ''Mysterious bags and boxes'' was located in an airport? oh and btw

All of you just lost the game.

[yourfriendthenerd]

@andyllamanipl GAAAAAAH!

[mrawesome1000]

@andyllamanipl u mean 'THE GAME'? or r u talking about an actual thing

[argozempo]

Sure. War of the worlds and the sky is falling! In an economic rebound, the suspicious package industry has proven historically to outpace all leading economic indicators. Anybody heard of business cycles?

[payetteman]

yes, but what if the business is made obsolete by the disguised carry-on liquids and gels industry?

[pointlessvidz13]

That building that imploded was epic

[AvatarZ]

GERL SKOUT KOOKIES

YUM! OPEN QUICK!

[cerealKILL3R3]

Beeping and blinking box emporium!

[BushidoBrownSama]

most americans don't know what they would do in hypothetical situations

[atlantisskyful]

like u.,

[Genericidiotnumber1]

@BushidoBrownSama What if there were no hypothetical situations?

[BushidoBrownSama]

@Genericidiotnumber1 nicely done lol

[ThePsychoticScyth396]

@BushidoBrownSama ide just kill everything, then go back to bed.

[AYRAYR1]

@BushidoBrownSama yeah that was a good one seen as most of them don't get irony aswell. : )

[AngelFluttershy767]

@AYRAYR1

Are you seriously that stupid? Why do you hate America so much, hmm? What if someone said that everyone from YOUR country didn't understand irony?

Don't be such a jerk.

[oerg]

haha it's mocking how packages can be classified as suspicious

[Saturn357]

Gurl Skout Kookies!!!

[panicstricken8]

albany new york! nice.

[Badassdude1234]

The things I will do with a suspiscious package, first thing would be to bring to shcool for show and tell!

[viva9626]

Yeah! Maybe stick it in the principals office! That will start a show!

[Willcollective]

HA!

[sageify]

OH MY GOD, that girl skout cookie bomb package killed me, Figuratively speaking LOL

[CrazedSquirrel]

oh u!

[jxsilicon9]

LOL!

[Mineav]

Hmmm...what could be in it? A bomb? Drugs? Ebola?

Exciting!

[andyllamanipl]

lol "gerl skout kookies yum! open quick!" lol

[exposfan20032000]

LMAO

[rudeydudey05]

OMG, this is great!!!

[nismax1994]

I usually enjoy this dry humor without laughing, but they got me at 1:05! LMAO, but they know how be subtle and not overdo it.

[NARFNra]

Probably because people believe perfectly ordinary suspicious packages are actually bombs... how could they feel that way? The poor suspicious packages, being discriminated against...

[Conway79]

I want a suspicious package!

[byZenn2]

Me too. D:

[BackDoorProductionz]

how is this funny?..... wow

[Utharas]

It's satire on actual news stations, government, economics, and current events. Unless you are lacking in understanding of such things, how is it not funny?

[videosfromderelix]

actually i agree, this specific one was pretty boring.

[geffrod]

You should watch the text scrolling on the bottom. Makes it worth watching this video.

[DanielFortesque]

* Iguana senator holding the floor for sixth straight hour witout blinking.

* Sports Update: Chess master Lev Alburt beginning victory celebration several moves before checkmate.

* FDA deems human clones safe for consumption by other human clones.

* Study: Majority of nation's sweat now produced from eating spicy wings.

* General Motors CEO pledges to reduce greenhouse emissions by closing remainnder of U.S. factories.

* Remembering how Muhammad Ali taught a nation the value of punching.

[xBabyDragonx]

This one had me laughing so hard I am crying,..Thanks ONN !!!!!! LMAO at the hypothetical situation line,...:) TOO FUNNY!!!!!

[Qdthree]

"It's the end of an era"

hahaha

[ImmigrationL]

"Sports Update: Chess Master Lev Alburt Beginning Victory Celebration Several Moves Before Checkmate"

"FDA deems human clones safe for consumption by other human clones"

"Study: Majority of nations sweat now produced from eating spicy wings."

[Lefaikone]

Such a shame really. Seemed like a nice fellow.

[smedude47]

Ha ha ha...that's funny alright helenetuff...

[helenetuff]

Haha, funny poll - that most Americans don't know what to do in hypothetical situations :D

[blushox05]

lol @ "dubious parcels and inscrutable containers"

[sapphyreseraph]

UPDATE: Suspicious Package Industry revived once outsourced.

Dubious BoxesNBags are now once again a reasonable investment. The industry found itself profitable once off shoring most of the production to Afghanistan and Iraq.

A stockholder commented, "What once took an entire factory to make now only takes Massim in Iraq and Berka in Afghanistan. Suddenly we are safe!"

So feel free to shop there again, and for a limited time every $100 dollar purchase gets you a free flying lesson!

[lilracerockz482]

Fail its typical. D:

[jugganort99]

It's not an American thing I'm from New Zealand and don't know what ahypothetical situation is.

[BillieDean]

google it, knowledge is power.

[beingabadman]

As a personal fan of suspicious packages I take personal pride in making them myself . The reactions I get in return from the receivers of these are testament to that.

[Noxolan]

gerl skout kookies yum!

[DaveO15]

Wha?!?

[lubermanl]

Heh,

most americans dont know what they would do in hypothetical situations.

[satansaysdie]

Hey I'm an American and I don't even know what a hypothetical situation is!!! Hooray for ignorance. ;)

[lucky7monkey]

you spelled typical wrong

[AnthonyHuss]

how very tpyiacl of them!

[meekmop]

no. :)

[tyrfryrta88]

jealousy is a stinky cologne

[sedatedlife18]

With this new stimulus bill, I really hope to see the suspicious package industry swing back into action. I can't wait to see suspicious packages on busses, trains, planes, and even in my own mailbox sometime in the near future.

[JayRay92]

seven cnn "i-reporters" dead in flash flood.

[tattmandoo]

ive always believed in making my own suspicious pakages

[HeavyMetal1981Fan]

I miss my old job at Mysterious Bags and Boxes Inc. :(

[mandowarrior123]

i SOOO loled at "hypothetical situations"

[ifrit1780]

I myself felt the impact of the fall of the suspicious package industry. My father used to work in it, and he suddenly got laided off...Now my family rely on the welfare system, because my father cant find a job. Having work history in the suspicious package industry is really bad for your resume..

[marsCubed]

What I worry about is all the jobs that have gone as a result of these industries failing in the States. These jobs have gone abroad to places like Afghanistan and Iraq. The quality is just not the same though and they don't meet the same safety standards.

[lilHippo]

they really need to bring the suspicious package industry back to the U.S.A

in countries in the middle east these industries are booming. the rate of car bombing and destoryed buildings are on the rise.

[Lengsel7]

Damn! If THIS industry isn't recession-proof, then we're ALL screwed!

[RedneckSkippy]

The suspicious package industry started going downhill ever since it peaked during the movie "Se7en".

[colbygk]

haha i was laughing so hard at 1:04. obviously that needs to happen whenever a business closes down.

[Griffrules22]

you know i actaully am disappointed about how kids cant do stuff with like fireworks and fire. i get to hear about all these things adults from my church got to do as kids, like thier science teachers that accidntly sinnged ceilings, i cant have any fun with fire these days :(

[flipyourwig6000]

i agree with you very much

[starwarmaster]

I love fire. ♥

[xxXCALIBURxx]

"In a post-9/11 world" LMFAO!

[chunkofjunk]

"most Americans do not know what they would do in hypothetical situations.."

hahahha..

[Kingofdetroit2004]

Gerl Skout Kookiez! Yum!

[bassplayer211]

Open quick!

[Jak3Mac]

lOL fUNNY

[Flyborg]

"Girl scout cookies! Yum! Open quick!" And the box is covered with wires and circuit boards.

[mysticalgroove]

LOL

[Doomfrost]

I tried buying my friend a suspicious barrel, found out that they were discontinued. Guess this is why. What ever happened to the good old days?

[mjennings80]

aAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

[GasHouseGangScout]

Hilarious.

[evilpacker]

i guess it depends..

[HeresToTheAdventure]

What would you do in a hypothetical situation?

[HeresToTheAdventure]

Everytime I find a weird package left somewhere I take it home and try to guess what's inside.

[zee339]

lol

[onnotice]

This is so fucking stupid

[zee339]

This isn't a joke. i delivered unmarked packages for 20 years and now i don't have a job. not funny

[MaximForLife]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[josephpejovic1]

Then you shouldn't be one YouTube wasting your time.

[mjennings80]

lol

[R0663N]

Gerl scout kookies! Yum! Open quick.

lol

[losermoron87]

hahaha they should have used a backwards K to make it look more kid like haha

[MaximForLife]

I couldn't stop laughing at the imploding part.

[229095]

the Girls Scout cookies are hilarious.

[UssenterprizeDv2]

I can see the polls now: "What would you do in hypothetical situations?"

A: Duck and Cover

B: Stop Drop and Roll

C: Ooooh Talla la, my ding, ding, dong.

D: I Don't Know

Results:

A = 14%, B = 11%, C = 36%, D = Lost Count = Vast Majority = Story = Coffee Break.

[Kingofdetroit2004]

"Gerl Skout Kookies, Yum! Open quick!"

I just LMFAO'ed when I saw that.

ROTFLOL!

[bcforn64]

I held the laughter until the camera zoomed out and the package was filled with wires. That was great!

[duhCider]

They should merge with unclaimed freight, the baggage handlers union and CrackerJack. That would drive the feds nuts.

[coolman1444]

most people wouldnt know what to to do in hyothetical situations AHAHAHAHAHAHA

[MyOverflow]

You know what's messed up? Put The Onion on TV and there will be a bunch of retards who would think it was REAL NEWS. Well, I guess it is real news, because all of the other "news" stations make the SAME DAMN, UNIMPORTANT REPORTS.

The only difference between ONN and CNN is The Onion's reports aren't meant to be serious.

[cursedvamp6]

"Gerl skout Kookies, Yum open quick !"

[Yeshman]

GuRL Sk0ut kOOkies MMMM open quick! lol

[snazzyXcore]

i've been a fan of the onion for years and this is the not funny at all... try again.

[trickedout721]

p0thead07.......what would the world do withoutpeoplelike you?

[Valkes]

I love these guyz, I got my mom to start watching their shows on an almost daily basis, I'm just keep laughing cause she hasn't caught on yet.

[gaysexnohomo]

The republicans are pro-business, but they do nothing to help these guys out!

[myuzeefreak]

WKShwerz, I thought 2 girls 1 cup was the most disgusting thing that I'd ever live to see...but wait...I'd forgotten about racist comments like yours!

[solidsnake777dm]

some of this shit makes me think like what are they talking about like when i watch real news i do the same thing

[volumedealer1]

The Onion rules!

[chrisnewdeal]

oh man.... i love these videos so much!

[MeanMrMustard55]

Well yeah, I mean, hypothetical situations give you so many options.

and OMG, p0thead. omg.

[229095]

I think "p0thead07"'s comment was almost as funny as the video!!! Endless entertainment, but, what can you expect from a username like that? OMG, indeed. He got Punk'd.

[remembermorrison]

Awesome. The Onion rocks. Check out their book.

[p0thead07]

I wasn't aware a suspicious package industry even existed. I doubt it really harms the US economy that much as a percentage of GDP, so it is only a few small businesses that would be affected.

[randomnamehere134]

i hope u were high when u wrote this otherwise this is the stupidest comment i have ever read

[daillness23]

Aww man i used to shop at Mysterious Bags and Boxes, thats were i used to get all my finely made dubious parcels and inscrutable containers.

[keikocat2001]

It really is a shame. Now you'll have to get all your poorly-worded letters and shapeless packages in bulk at Costco. (And you know how it goes - you store them in the garage and can never find them when you want to scare the shit out of somebody.)

[charliebeaver]

Gerl Skout Kookies, Yum!

[jnn4evam10]

yeah

[RoC1909]

Awesome!!! I love the ONN!!

[guitarwriter1]

"inscrutable containers"!

hillarious!

[ImyManz99]

The imploding buildings was the funniest, lmfao!

[wendellww]

Grrrrrr-reat!!!!!!!!!! I love The Onion!

[lerox22]

"Do black women produce chocolate milk when they lactate?" yes and white chicks produce mayonase when they lactate