I have only been watching your stuff for 2 days but you have already been helping me out so much!! I thought I was ready to be married but I've been dating guys from 23-25 with no money : \ so I guess I'm not as ready as I thought
There are rarely any guys ready for marriage before 27. So we have to wait till they get desperate to finally wanna settle down? That really sucks. Guess ill hold off dating for five or more years, sheesh.
@kglove08 I respect what you're doing and take my hat off to you. I have no problems w/ you personally and know many single parents, as well as have some in my family.
Unfortunately a household with only one head... without that balance of masculine & feminine energies is in fact a "Broken home." If you dont like the word broken, I apologize. I dont mean to hurt you. Children definitely need the input & energies of both parents.
When ur son gets older be sure to get him a male mentor.
OMG..I JUST hung out with an ex and he met ALL of these criteria!!! AND he was asking me when I was planning on settling down. I wasn't sure if he was serious, but after listening to this, I might take him a bit more seriously...THANK YOU!!!!
@blackbeauty100582 So I just found this vid and it's 3 months later for you... soooooo??? lol how is it going? Is Tonya on point. Curious but not trying to pry for details. lol ;-)
Hello Tonya! I have a question about is it ok for me to have a friends with benefits relationship with a man until he is ready to have a relationship? He don't want to stop seeing me do you think I have a chance a real relationship with him?
U A DAMN FAT SLOB WHORE WHO MAKE MONEY RIPPING PEOPLE OFF. YOU IS UGLY WITH GRADMA PAINT ON YOUR FACE. THAT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ME THOUGH. VID REPLY MAT BE COMING SOON ON MY 2 CHANNELS.
@desih17 is what too much? The age difference? It seems like a lot when you're younger. My concern is not so much this 5 year age difference as HOW does he treat you? Some older men use their wisdom to run game on younger girls. Other men have used their maturity to Teach them how to treat women. Look at the video "5 things to look for in a good man." and 10 questions every mate must answer. Check off the list and see if he has the qualifications to deserve your heart.
How about when he is in law or medical school? Go to the medical or law library to study when you are in school. That way you ensure your future man is not only smart but will be rich! And make sure you support him every step of the way you'll be his women who was with him before the money came along. His ride or die chick! Men love that and it's almost a guaranteed investment for us! Holla at me with your thoughts.
I really like your videos because you are very articulate and professional. The only problem is that I have been on and off for years with a guy who is not in any of the those "bad times to catch a man". I feel that he has the right personality for me but we can't make it work. His parents are still married and he spends time with them often, he has worked with his company 7 years and his hair is thinning. He still doesn't know what he wants. What is wrong with this picture?
@TonyaTko Few years! Even when you talk about when to catch a man, you say there are only a few times to catch him. You just turned, I believe, 35! If there are only a few chances to catch a dude, then you could be waiting at least 5 years to find the successful man you are looking for! It just seems like we live all of our lives to do just what you are describing in this video!
I don't know! Maybe you are as good as you say you are!
(Ha! Millions with a slight Spanish pronunciation!)
@SightseerLounge No my dear... we are all at different stages in life... We amongst each other not knowing where other people are in life... I have been having great success recently dating men who are around 35 and also around 40. Why would I need to wait 5 years when someone has spent the last 5 years getting ready for Me for This day here today :-D
@TonyaTko 5 years: People need time to get to know each other! You must really, really want marriage @ any cost. Marriage=status symbol! You said it all right there! Perfect! The status will only last a certain amt of time! What made you decide you were ready this year? I guess that's what I was saying about the life process. Or I'll let you say it, "someone has spent the last 5 years getting ready for Me for This day here today!" All of that life for this one period in time. It's got to be more
Everyone can't be CEOs (or even the middle manager). I guess Tonya is looking for this type of man!? This is why multiple women will always go to the alpha dog!
It is not right, but the world-while shaped like a slight sphere-is really a pyramid!
Buchanan was unmarried, however you point is TOTALLY valid. In my own career, I find that as I move up, I'm being pressured to marry. I've even had male friends tell me straight out that marrage would help my career.
nope we have never had a president to be single during presidency because one of the qualifications to be president, he must be MARRIED. I learned that in school. Hope that helps!
I met my hubby when we were both 22, and let me tell you, he was all about settling down! We have been married five years and had our first baby last year, and now we are looking into getting a home, and talking about another baby in the near future. And this is a guy who had a lot of women, & was into a reckless lifestyle in his youth. A lot of his desire for marriage I think comes from seeing his older sister settled with her two babies. He realized he wanted that life too & was finally ready.
@mindyjean233 Oh man, I mentioned when all the friends are settled down and I forgot to mention siblings :-]
But don't say he was "Finally Ready" at 22... bcz that age is still fairly young and marriages among ppl under 25 statistically have the highest divorce rates as the people are still getting to know themselves and growing and changing as people. We are in a different day and time w/ higher education/self exploration & I dont advocate marrying b4 you know WHO you Are
@TonyaTko MAYBE WHEN HE HAD ALOT OF WOMEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPEN TO MAKE HIM NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH MULTIPLE WOMEN.... PPL ARE CRAZY NOWADAYS SO HE IS VERY SMART FOR REALIZING THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY AND BEING A " REAL MAN" ...
T, you are right on the money. I'm turning 30 this December, and I'm more than ready. I don't know about the fading looks and hair loss (yet), but I'm at that point where I'm ready to settle down.
Marriage and love is not about who makes you complete but complements who you are.
Don't put out when he cant prove his worth to you. like in a new job he should be in a probationary period before you can put out. when he stays for that long and shows you what he can prove then he is a keeper and he is really serious with you.
@ShiekUrBooty Are yu saying "real men" wait until marriage to lose their virginities? Or that there is an actual offering up ceremony among married men who give over the use of their penises to their wives? :-P
It is interesting that you define marriage as a state of mind, because if you think about it, marriage is a human construct...a virtual state of mind.
At 1:35 seconds we find out why Tonya looks great, hehehe! Seeing how ravishing Tonya is looking, the En Vogue/Salt 'n Pepper video of their song "Whatta man" comes to mind! :o)
You're right about the age 30 thing. My brother wanted to settle down when he was 28. He kept on telling me he wants a family. And a year later he was married, and after had a child.
marriage is unnatural and is a product of society.we as humans are a very jealous breed.what better way than prevent someone from have multiple partners than to create something called marriage.there is nothing wrong with having multiple partners as it is most natural.why is it that animals dont marry yet are able to mate and have families...sometimes multiple families. so in the end..u made the choice society wanted you to make so that you wont be viewed as an outsider.
I loved watching this video, i am a newbie at trying to date, and this vid open my eyes to alot of things n i must say its allllll true, i wish i could go back to my previous date n use all this info, but the relationship wasnt going to work out...Never date ur mom's friend!
James Buchanan was single. Grover Cleveland was single when elected, he married while in the White House. Chester Arthur and Andrew Jackson were widowers at the time they were sworn in- both their wives died before they were sworn in.
this is absolute nonsense. at no point during your rambling, incoherent and completely unscientific discussion do you even come close to making a valid point. you're basically just saying words and sentences. it's utter, utter nonsense and hope to God (figuratively speaking, because he doesn't exist) that no person ever takes on board your self-indulgent dribble as advice.
Tonya, you are not lying: you are right about men who are more apt to consider marriage at 30 than they are when they are younger. I am 30, and I am definitely ready to find a wife, of course in God's timing. However, I have also noticed that women who are approaching 30 are nearly equally prepared for marriage. there seems to be something about that particular age that brings about a turning point in our lives and makes people more prone to consider marriage. You are on point in this video.
I just recently stopped "dating" a guy who said that
"we're not even close to equal" because I'm in a financial crunch at the moment and he needs a partner that he can lean on for financial support..... he also says that if a woman does not make his salary or better there's no need for her to bother him, keeping in mind that he's asked me to pay several times for our date and says that we were 'just friends' . was I wrong for kicking him to the curb?
@NaeofNae Um... I think you already knew the answer to that question when you kicked him to the curb in the first place! :-[
blech!
I had a guy say that to me too when I was in my 20's. Turns out he was a player lookin for women to play. He was running a racket getting women to take out mortgages for houses he would flip then skip--- town.
You are NOT missing out on anything. When the right one comes you will KNOW Nae!
@NaeofNae Join the club! YOU WERE RIGHT TO KICK HIM TO THE CURBI am wondering if this is a new trend. My ex told me on numerous occassions that he does not like women who do not have money. Mind you, he also likes women who make more than him. We broke up because he always wants me to pay because I make more. He is a jerk and very selfish. You did the right thing!
I am not speaking for all men, I want to get married , I just wanted something stable and marriage to be happy and we both could still be individuals. I just don't like it to be like a prison sentence. I also want a woman who will be a good mother, not too stern and not to gentle.
My husband chased ME. He was 22 and in college and I was 23 and just getting out of a 5 year relationship with his friend. All I wanted was some "fun", * wink, wink*. He kept showing me how wonderful he was and then I realized I couldn't wait to see him when we weren't together. A few months later we got married, but we had known each other as friends for 8 years before that, lol. Our 4 year anniversary is next month, I can't imagine life without him. My point is, that list isn't always right.
@MJayB26 I say stay away from recently divorced men.
Statistics, on the other hand, says divorced men marry within the first 1-4 years after the divorce. You can make your choice about that one. I guess I should have also mention that statistics say nearly 70% of all 2nd marriages end in DIVORCE.
woops.
Listen to this point Mjay brought up everyone:
DIVORCED MEN ARE IN A TRANSITION! BEWARE Be Very AWARE.
@TonyaTko Hi Tonya, I have been watching your show and I have a very interesting point to raise. What if you were with a man and at a point in your life where you are ready to be married (me). You are with this man who says "you are the one". After a year of hope and excitement he tells you one day "I want to get married but not to YOU". What would you do and how would you feel? This happened to me and I felt like someone snatched my heart out. It was a terrible feeling.
@faythforme The only thing you Can do is take time to assess the situation. Yes he said he was ready to marry. Yes he said you were the one. Then he said you were not. Is it possible there were warning signs along the way that he was not the right person for you? One thing abt people who consider marriage seriously: They evaluate being with a person forever. I can gather things were not right in the relationship from both of your POVs. At least he didnt go thru with it & u end up divorced
@TonyaTko Unfortunately, there were no warning signs and one thing that you have to post in your videos about men is they have a very selfish nature and when they decide to marry a certain woman they are also trying to see what is in it for them "what can this woman do for me in the long run a/k/a MY future". He has personal issues that are not resolved and NO he is not for me. He has recently told me he is going to look for a woman with low self esteem! Go figure!
@doctorrin Are you asking me? Or talking to one of the commentors?
I gathered the information from this video from intense interviews, survey, & questions/answers & research I've been doing for Months. I got this information straight from men & compiled the most prevalent themes & ideas
That's so funny that I had this conversation with my lab partners. They thought I was strange because I told them at age 22 I was ready to "think" about getting married.
It's so crazy/cool that you've noticed that men are at their pinnacle at 30....Astrology dictates that people experience what's called their return of Saturn around age 29, when Saturn completes one full orbit around the sun from the time of birth. People under the return of Saturn start to rethink their lives and begin making changes to settle down and do what's right for them. Look it up, it's pretty fascinating!
@fitzerg WOW! THis is AmAzing! But the most amazing part about it is: Seems the men who make it to these offices single, STAY single... they don't date in this position... I mean, can you imagine if your president was out at Ruby Tuesday's on a date?? LOL... Its like you either have to marry BEFORE, or not marry at all, bcz you can't date as "The President"... well you can... but its usually as ADULTERY! lol
But anyways girl yes!!! well my man is alot younger but has an old soul, which gets in the way of my young soul lol, but we compromise. He's very TLC im very spice girls. lol We fall out but we make it work.
@XxFrancineJulietxX Ohhh... so you two are back together now? I'm sorry, but I cant help but feel you are both Too young to be talking about getting married, then breaking up on facebook... you're 18 and he's 15? I'm sorry, give me your ages again-- I can't tell from your baby faces. I support you in what you do... but have you ever thought that maybe you may need a little more time?
@TonyaTko yeah something like that. and LMFFAAOOO!!! no he is 21. and yes of course. we arent rushing into anything. we are def. NOT ready for marriage. we have little fights over who gets to stir the food when we cook together (me being the chef I get to do it) haha
... question... when a man is truly ready wont he tell you? Or should women be cautious of men who are quickly interested in the idea of marriage, maybe a little to quick? what are your thoughts on that?
@StraightUp615 Catching a wife is easy isnt it? Women are typically very gung-ho abt settling down. Now finding a GOOD Woman... now That is a diff story! :-P
@StraightUp615 1) Get a expensive car and when she comes within arm's length grab her and tell her to choose between a phone call to the police or an expensive engagement ring. 2) Get her drunk like HHH did with Steph. 3) Wait till her biological clock starts ticking, reset it and make sure it isn't a bomb and you should be good. 4) Go to the nearest shoe sale and set up booby traps. 5) Watch what TonyaTKO has to say because her ways to catch a wife are probably more likely to be legal.
@amberkw1085 Why Thanks Amber... make sure you forward my videos around as much as possible and perhaps it will get into the right hands of someone who can help me get my own show ;-)
i waited patiently to the end of this video to make a comment-thanks for this video-i have to mull over a couple things-im 25 and when i turned 25 this yr i started to yearn for a partner to settle down with-thank you so much for this video-God blessed the day i subbed to your channel
Thanks Tonya! Love you lots. I love the video and you are looking great, as usual. I will be going on a date later on this week and I definitely know what to look out for now. Thanks again!
Take it from a guy, unless your man is a pussy, if he doesnt want to settle down, hes not going to. No real man would be persuaded into staying with one woman for the rest of his life. If he doesnt want to, he doesnt want to.
@ TonyaTko girl that is ok. You don't need to be married. I am beginning my masters in marital and family therapy and I am 22 and as single as can be. You have a knowledge...or at least you know where to get it. Research is key..and your doing it. You relate as i its a gift!
@Afronozi3 Thank you for the compliment. As a single unwed woman I dont feel qualified to counsel people on Marriage. As you see I'm in the beginning stages of preparing myself to be a wife.
I interviewed a lot of men to come up with this list, and I have quite a few more gems from my research to share with you all... but for now, most of my knowledge on marriage is 2nd hand :-)
LOL! My wife got m at 25, and I married her at 29. If a man is not donee enjoying his fill he's not gonna want to settle down. WOW Tonya have you been swimming around in our minds? Good video! When we stop hiding our phones and start allowing you ladies to answer it, yeah thats a good sign we are not running around and are pretty much ready to settle.
Oh no! the body actually does change and shut down when we get older? I thought that was a myth used to frighten us like the boogie man and the tooth fairy!
My honest opinion is for most people to NOT get married. Marriage only throws legal crap into the relationship. Marriage was an idea developed by the church to make some money, and give the church some made-up moral authority. As for kids - if they are envolved, they're better off with one loving parent around rather than fighting and tension all the time as in MOST marriages.
@VideoGuyNC research shows that children that come out of 2 parent households generally come out better than children that come out of single parent households. Most criminals come out of single parent households.
@Popadibs I've read some of those same stats, and I suspect that one of the variables not considered in the results is the conditions the child was living in when the parents were together. Of course - everyone's different, and if one can find the "right" person to live with - more power to them.
@VideoGuyNC One thing about stats is that unless one can know how the study was conducted and all the variables involved they can be led to believe whatever the study would have them to believe and/or speculate. I agree with you to an extent on your stance against marriage. It's legalized marriage that I'm against. The gov't should not be involved in marriage and it only does that out of greed.
People have been getting married long before "the church" came into existence (binding with spun rings). For instance, Greeks had strange marriage laws in that if you married a non-Greek woman, she wasn't really your wife when you returned home.
"The church" was called in to make these agreements official because some people in middle Europe had trouble with men who would take dowries and run off. The logic was that since God saw the agreement, it would last and be official.
Answer to your questionTwo presidents James Buchanan and Grover Cleveland. Buchanan never married.
Wow Tonya this vid was good now I know that its not really teh right time to marry him its confusing cause he's 26 but he is still working on his career.
@cherrypinkgirl1 DING DING DING! You get the honorable mention in the next video! Look for that on friday
And don't disqualify him JUST bcz he's building his career hun. Communication is key. Talk to him. See where his head is at right now. SOme men DO marry when they are building... but the caveat is that most don't marry until they KNOW which direction their life is going in. I should have been more clear abt that. Im sorry
I dont know of a man that does not want to be married. Just finding a woman that is ready is the issue
blackhumanity103 2 months ago
My goodness, Tonya, how did you get so smart ! What is your age ? You are soooo wise !
AtlSuga 2 months ago
Not to subtract from the video, but this is a really cute look for you!
MsSlwilliams 2 months ago
I have only been watching your stuff for 2 days but you have already been helping me out so much!! I thought I was ready to be married but I've been dating guys from 23-25 with no money : \ so I guess I'm not as ready as I thought
Duffylynn 2 months ago
There are rarely any guys ready for marriage before 27. So we have to wait till they get desperate to finally wanna settle down? That really sucks. Guess ill hold off dating for five or more years, sheesh.
tub01044 2 months ago
I think its time you put ALL of your videos in one book!
ZannieZanana 2 months ago
Comment removed
Porscha89ify 2 months ago
Comment removed
Porscha89ify 2 months ago
So if you're dating a guy and he says right up front that he does not want to get married, should you stop dating him?
NawticJ 4 months ago
a single-parent household is not necessarily a "broken home." I am a mother raising my son to love and respect women.
kglove08 6 months ago in playlist More videos from TonyaTko
@kglove08 I respect what you're doing and take my hat off to you. I have no problems w/ you personally and know many single parents, as well as have some in my family.
Unfortunately a household with only one head... without that balance of masculine & feminine energies is in fact a "Broken home." If you dont like the word broken, I apologize. I dont mean to hurt you. Children definitely need the input & energies of both parents.
When ur son gets older be sure to get him a male mentor.
-Tko
TonyaTko 6 months ago 6
love this video sooo much! subscribe! =D
baltashchit 6 months ago
men just don't want to marry FAT and UGLY women....lol...all others are welcomed
dhide14 6 months ago
James Buchanan
Crazycurvychick 7 months ago
OMG..I JUST hung out with an ex and he met ALL of these criteria!!! AND he was asking me when I was planning on settling down. I wasn't sure if he was serious, but after listening to this, I might take him a bit more seriously...THANK YOU!!!!
blackbeauty100582 11 months ago
@blackbeauty100582 So I just found this vid and it's 3 months later for you... soooooo??? lol how is it going? Is Tonya on point. Curious but not trying to pry for details. lol ;-)
musictoliveby08 7 months ago
absolutely excellent video
capcom101you 1 year ago
Hello Tonya! I have a question about is it ok for me to have a friends with benefits relationship with a man until he is ready to have a relationship? He don't want to stop seeing me do you think I have a chance a real relationship with him?
Mizkd07 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Become a member and find your partner naneedj.info
lavonnajenny 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Online Russian girls ** leefoxnow.info **
ZxcdseBvgftr 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
take your time now for date naneedj.info
amalsee 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
handsome guy just now need bbw naneedj.info
nikee52 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Narrow Naughty girls and ladies here benaughtyman.info
harsikasewwandi 1 year ago
tonya i think ur the definition of a classy woman :)
p.s,,,dis is dannyk27 :)
smiley6994 1 year ago 3
if you marry a guy with kids then maybe his old wife will have given him the snip to stop him reproducing with other women. So thats another point.
nicepandas 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
U A DAMN FAT SLOB WHORE WHO MAKE MONEY RIPPING PEOPLE OFF. YOU IS UGLY WITH GRADMA PAINT ON YOUR FACE. THAT WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ME THOUGH. VID REPLY MAT BE COMING SOON ON MY 2 CHANNELS.
4LOSTSOULONLY 1 year ago
What do you think about me at 20 dating a guy who is 25...is that too much?
desih17 1 year ago
@desih17 is what too much? The age difference? It seems like a lot when you're younger. My concern is not so much this 5 year age difference as HOW does he treat you? Some older men use their wisdom to run game on younger girls. Other men have used their maturity to Teach them how to treat women. Look at the video "5 things to look for in a good man." and 10 questions every mate must answer. Check off the list and see if he has the qualifications to deserve your heart.
Write back
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
How about when he is in law or medical school? Go to the medical or law library to study when you are in school. That way you ensure your future man is not only smart but will be rich! And make sure you support him every step of the way you'll be his women who was with him before the money came along. His ride or die chick! Men love that and it's almost a guaranteed investment for us! Holla at me with your thoughts.
aubainmc 1 year ago
I really like your videos because you are very articulate and professional. The only problem is that I have been on and off for years with a guy who is not in any of the those "bad times to catch a man". I feel that he has the right personality for me but we can't make it work. His parents are still married and he spends time with them often, he has worked with his company 7 years and his hair is thinning. He still doesn't know what he wants. What is wrong with this picture?
sharemyworld00 1 year ago
Wish I could come to New York! Adios!
SightseerLounge 1 year ago
Besides, with the euros being worth two or three dollars, even your "on point" men won't be worth anything!
The marriage structure will be destroyed! Maybe marriage is part of that old brainwashing from religion!
Tonya, don't know if you'll answer, but what comes after you, personally, catch said husband? The adrenaline rush will be over from the chase!
Gotta be more to the universe than birth-job-MARRIAGE-babies-retire-die!
SightseerLounge 1 year ago
@SightseerLounge How long have you been feeling that that is all there is to life?
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
@TonyaTko Few years! Even when you talk about when to catch a man, you say there are only a few times to catch him. You just turned, I believe, 35! If there are only a few chances to catch a dude, then you could be waiting at least 5 years to find the successful man you are looking for! It just seems like we live all of our lives to do just what you are describing in this video!
I don't know! Maybe you are as good as you say you are!
(Ha! Millions with a slight Spanish pronunciation!)
SightseerLounge 1 year ago
@SightseerLounge No my dear... we are all at different stages in life... We amongst each other not knowing where other people are in life... I have been having great success recently dating men who are around 35 and also around 40. Why would I need to wait 5 years when someone has spent the last 5 years getting ready for Me for This day here today :-D
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
@TonyaTko 5 years: People need time to get to know each other! You must really, really want marriage @ any cost. Marriage=status symbol! You said it all right there! Perfect! The status will only last a certain amt of time! What made you decide you were ready this year? I guess that's what I was saying about the life process. Or I'll let you say it, "someone has spent the last 5 years getting ready for Me for This day here today!" All of that life for this one period in time. It's got to be more
SightseerLounge 1 year ago
@SightseerLounge I guess I think too much! Hahahahaha! Well, at least you seem spunky about the whole thing!
Oh yeah, why do you have such a devilish laugh? @2:05 "Now, let's compare men to women...Ah hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm!"
I'm terrified! LOL!
SightseerLounge 1 year ago
This just makes it seem like there is nothing on this earth to look forward to while being here!
Born-sex-college (military)-job-settling down-MARRIAGE-babies-more jobs-retire-die!
Really sad!
Everyone can't be CEOs (or even the middle manager). I guess Tonya is looking for this type of man!? This is why multiple women will always go to the alpha dog!
It is not right, but the world-while shaped like a slight sphere-is really a pyramid!
SightseerLounge 1 year ago
Buchanan was unmarried, however you point is TOTALLY valid. In my own career, I find that as I move up, I'm being pressured to marry. I've even had male friends tell me straight out that marrage would help my career.
whiteknight0916 1 year ago
James Buchanan, the 15th President of the United States, was never married. His wife died b4 the wedding.
Mommylonglegs09 1 year ago
69 children?! My God! How did that poor woman survive that?
HITMANSPURS 1 year ago
you are hilarious and extremely intelligent! my favorite combination! you go girl!
thefitnessgirl9 1 year ago
My name is AVT and I approve of this message.
AVTPro 1 year ago
Awww hot dang.
AVTPro 1 year ago
I am almost laughing out my lungs
ebony5b 1 year ago
nope we have never had a president to be single during presidency because one of the qualifications to be president, he must be MARRIED. I learned that in school. Hope that helps!
bearoge 1 year ago
I met my hubby when we were both 22, and let me tell you, he was all about settling down! We have been married five years and had our first baby last year, and now we are looking into getting a home, and talking about another baby in the near future. And this is a guy who had a lot of women, & was into a reckless lifestyle in his youth. A lot of his desire for marriage I think comes from seeing his older sister settled with her two babies. He realized he wanted that life too & was finally ready.
mindyjean233 1 year ago
@mindyjean233 Oh man, I mentioned when all the friends are settled down and I forgot to mention siblings :-]
But don't say he was "Finally Ready" at 22... bcz that age is still fairly young and marriages among ppl under 25 statistically have the highest divorce rates as the people are still getting to know themselves and growing and changing as people. We are in a different day and time w/ higher education/self exploration & I dont advocate marrying b4 you know WHO you Are
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
@TonyaTko MAYBE WHEN HE HAD ALOT OF WOMEN SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPEN TO MAKE HIM NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH MULTIPLE WOMEN.... PPL ARE CRAZY NOWADAYS SO HE IS VERY SMART FOR REALIZING THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY AND BEING A " REAL MAN" ...
shaunaboo961 1 year ago
T, you are right on the money. I'm turning 30 this December, and I'm more than ready. I don't know about the fading looks and hair loss (yet), but I'm at that point where I'm ready to settle down.
smittyboy007 1 year ago
Your make up is fierce
TheRayBeverly 1 year ago
Tonya you are awesome . Do you watch Shay the date diva ? She has some good thoughts ......
northofgeomom 1 year ago
Marriage and love is not about who makes you complete but complements who you are.
Don't put out when he cant prove his worth to you. like in a new job he should be in a probationary period before you can put out. when he stays for that long and shows you what he can prove then he is a keeper and he is really serious with you.
jt81205 1 year ago
12:12 "offered up his penis"? That's funny, REAL men don't "offer up their penis" until they get married.
ShiekUrBooty 1 year ago
@ShiekUrBooty Are yu saying "real men" wait until marriage to lose their virginities? Or that there is an actual offering up ceremony among married men who give over the use of their penises to their wives? :-P
-TKo
TonyaTko 1 year ago
It is interesting that you define marriage as a state of mind, because if you think about it, marriage is a human construct...a virtual state of mind.
ShiekUrBooty 1 year ago
OMG, you look great!
ShiekUrBooty 1 year ago
@ShiekUrBooty
At 1:35 seconds we find out why Tonya looks great, hehehe! Seeing how ravishing Tonya is looking, the En Vogue/Salt 'n Pepper video of their song "Whatta man" comes to mind! :o)
ShiekUrBooty 1 year ago
You're right about the age 30 thing. My brother wanted to settle down when he was 28. He kept on telling me he wants a family. And a year later he was married, and after had a child.
Shellz194 1 year ago
I'll marry you pretty lady!
MilitantPIG 1 year ago
Thats what i thoult .and that video make it even more clear for me. marriage is nothing but a TRAP. thanx
yasser5000 1 year ago
Comment removed
yasser5000 1 year ago
great video!
(and i just love your "serious laugh" — quite a beautiful paradox indeed!)
masic88 1 year ago
marriage is unnatural and is a product of society.we as humans are a very jealous breed.what better way than prevent someone from have multiple partners than to create something called marriage.there is nothing wrong with having multiple partners as it is most natural.why is it that animals dont marry yet are able to mate and have families...sometimes multiple families. so in the end..u made the choice society wanted you to make so that you wont be viewed as an outsider.
flexwheelR 1 year ago
You really seem to have life figured out. I'd say you're very right about all of it :-)
MagicTurtle643 1 year ago
I loved watching this video, i am a newbie at trying to date, and this vid open my eyes to alot of things n i must say its allllll true, i wish i could go back to my previous date n use all this info, but the relationship wasnt going to work out...Never date ur mom's friend!
poohtimmy1 1 year ago
Spot on as always! The five list could apply to some females as well.
Merdenoms 1 year ago
you look beautiful
nazishtk16 1 year ago
I don't agree with transition completely.
nside41 1 year ago
James Buchanan was single. Grover Cleveland was single when elected, he married while in the White House. Chester Arthur and Andrew Jackson were widowers at the time they were sworn in- both their wives died before they were sworn in.
chantejoy 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
this is absolute nonsense. at no point during your rambling, incoherent and completely unscientific discussion do you even come close to making a valid point. you're basically just saying words and sentences. it's utter, utter nonsense and hope to God (figuratively speaking, because he doesn't exist) that no person ever takes on board your self-indulgent dribble as advice.
timstrikesback 1 year ago
thank you for always making me laugh, tonya. :D and i love your shirt!--very cute.
mushymcsquishy 1 year ago
James Buchanan was single and Grover Cleveland was single when he entered and married while in office.
Anumee2010 1 year ago
Also...Chester Arthur was widowed when he entered office.
Anumee2010 1 year ago
Very good, however I want to know what are some ot ways that cause women to be attracted to men?
artantro3 1 year ago
Thanks for your advice, but just wondering why you are still single...
ursexxymami 1 year ago
Lyfe Jennings has a song called statistics which basically explains it all.
thankfulandblessed 1 year ago
James Buchanan was the 15th President of the United States. He was the only bachelor president to date.
lynette021964 1 year ago
I have a black belt that looks like the red one you are wearing! TEHE, CUTE!
precioushead 1 year ago
I highly recommend reading "Act like a lady, think like a man"
vjmc418 1 year ago
Tonya, you are not lying: you are right about men who are more apt to consider marriage at 30 than they are when they are younger. I am 30, and I am definitely ready to find a wife, of course in God's timing. However, I have also noticed that women who are approaching 30 are nearly equally prepared for marriage. there seems to be something about that particular age that brings about a turning point in our lives and makes people more prone to consider marriage. You are on point in this video.
suaved 1 year ago
Comment removed
suaved 1 year ago
James Buchanan is the only President to never marry and although he was once engaged,
prettyladiie22 1 year ago
...and it aint "used up" but damn that was mad funny and true!
ronaldartwell 1 year ago
Excellent observation!... particularly starting at 24:22
Trust, us men are (and always have been) paying attention. Sadly, it still remains a game.
ronaldartwell 1 year ago
@ronaldartwell Umm... the video ENDS at that time marker. LOL. What r u tryna say?? :-P
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
I just recently stopped "dating" a guy who said that
"we're not even close to equal" because I'm in a financial crunch at the moment and he needs a partner that he can lean on for financial support..... he also says that if a woman does not make his salary or better there's no need for her to bother him, keeping in mind that he's asked me to pay several times for our date and says that we were 'just friends' . was I wrong for kicking him to the curb?
NaeofNae 1 year ago
@NaeofNae Um... I think you already knew the answer to that question when you kicked him to the curb in the first place! :-[
blech!
I had a guy say that to me too when I was in my 20's. Turns out he was a player lookin for women to play. He was running a racket getting women to take out mortgages for houses he would flip then skip--- town.
You are NOT missing out on anything. When the right one comes you will KNOW Nae!
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
@NaeofNae Join the club! YOU WERE RIGHT TO KICK HIM TO THE CURBI am wondering if this is a new trend. My ex told me on numerous occassions that he does not like women who do not have money. Mind you, he also likes women who make more than him. We broke up because he always wants me to pay because I make more. He is a jerk and very selfish. You did the right thing!
faythforme 1 year ago
are you married Tonya? :O
isachaley88 1 year ago
@isachaley88 Did you even watch 90 seconds of this video? I answer that very early on ;-)
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
I am not speaking for all men, I want to get married , I just wanted something stable and marriage to be happy and we both could still be individuals. I just don't like it to be like a prison sentence. I also want a woman who will be a good mother, not too stern and not to gentle.
hecatesmagickchild 1 year ago
My husband chased ME. He was 22 and in college and I was 23 and just getting out of a 5 year relationship with his friend. All I wanted was some "fun", * wink, wink*. He kept showing me how wonderful he was and then I realized I couldn't wait to see him when we weren't together. A few months later we got married, but we had known each other as friends for 8 years before that, lol. Our 4 year anniversary is next month, I can't imagine life without him. My point is, that list isn't always right.
ytilive 1 year ago
Taking notes....
buhleke 1 year ago
This is such great info. Thank you!!
goldendyme8506 1 year ago
Tonya come with the wisdom, im taking note!!! Go girl! ouuuuuu i can't wait till friday, i love listening to your vids.
ebony66pink 1 year ago
you mentioned that we know about the power of attraction at 19:50 but we are not all sure what you are refering to.
OverXposedKC91 1 year ago
@OverXposedKC91 Omigosh Kc, you dont know about the power of attraction? OMG! I thought everyone knew.
That needs a whole entire video about that one alone. Wow. Im sorry for
Thank you for mentioning that
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
Tonya come with the wisdom, im taking note!!! Go girl!
ebony66pink 1 year ago
is it me or the baby in the what will ur kid look like, look scary as hell?
yagurlbubblez 1 year ago
Great Video as usual Tonya.
Natashalulu 1 year ago
But Tonya, isn't a man who is recently divorced also a man in transition?
MJayB26 1 year ago
@MJayB26 I say stay away from recently divorced men.
Statistics, on the other hand, says divorced men marry within the first 1-4 years after the divorce. You can make your choice about that one. I guess I should have also mention that statistics say nearly 70% of all 2nd marriages end in DIVORCE.
woops.
Listen to this point Mjay brought up everyone:
DIVORCED MEN ARE IN A TRANSITION! BEWARE Be Very AWARE.
My Bad
:-P
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
@TonyaTko Hi Tonya, I have been watching your show and I have a very interesting point to raise. What if you were with a man and at a point in your life where you are ready to be married (me). You are with this man who says "you are the one". After a year of hope and excitement he tells you one day "I want to get married but not to YOU". What would you do and how would you feel? This happened to me and I felt like someone snatched my heart out. It was a terrible feeling.
.
faythforme 1 year ago
@faythforme The only thing you Can do is take time to assess the situation. Yes he said he was ready to marry. Yes he said you were the one. Then he said you were not. Is it possible there were warning signs along the way that he was not the right person for you? One thing abt people who consider marriage seriously: They evaluate being with a person forever. I can gather things were not right in the relationship from both of your POVs. At least he didnt go thru with it & u end up divorced
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
@TonyaTko Unfortunately, there were no warning signs and one thing that you have to post in your videos about men is they have a very selfish nature and when they decide to marry a certain woman they are also trying to see what is in it for them "what can this woman do for me in the long run a/k/a MY future". He has personal issues that are not resolved and NO he is not for me. He has recently told me he is going to look for a woman with low self esteem! Go figure!
faythforme 1 year ago
Where are you getting your info?
doctorrin 1 year ago
@doctorrin Are you asking me? Or talking to one of the commentors?
I gathered the information from this video from intense interviews, survey, & questions/answers & research I've been doing for Months. I got this information straight from men & compiled the most prevalent themes & ideas
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
That's so funny that I had this conversation with my lab partners. They thought I was strange because I told them at age 22 I was ready to "think" about getting married.
lavinder11 1 year ago
Nice outfit, sweety! It's so flattering to your figure. Very interesting video too.
Denisa from Romania
denisaforeverinlove 1 year ago
It's so crazy/cool that you've noticed that men are at their pinnacle at 30....Astrology dictates that people experience what's called their return of Saturn around age 29, when Saturn completes one full orbit around the sun from the time of birth. People under the return of Saturn start to rethink their lives and begin making changes to settle down and do what's right for them. Look it up, it's pretty fascinating!
chewybat 1 year ago
Ok time for me to go hunting for a wealthy, ugly, older man, who is ready! Lol and Im off!
polifonyann 1 year ago
@polifonyann you got a myspace...lol
cyphi1 1 year ago
James Buchanan Jr. the 15th President of the United States.
SpilledToxic 1 year ago
In the Philippines, the current president Noynoy Aquino is a bachelor.
fitzerg 1 year ago
@fitzerg WOW! THis is AmAzing! But the most amazing part about it is: Seems the men who make it to these offices single, STAY single... they don't date in this position... I mean, can you imagine if your president was out at Ruby Tuesday's on a date?? LOL... Its like you either have to marry BEFORE, or not marry at all, bcz you can't date as "The President"... well you can... but its usually as ADULTERY! lol
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
James Buchanan, the 15th President
But anyways girl yes!!! well my man is alot younger but has an old soul, which gets in the way of my young soul lol, but we compromise. He's very TLC im very spice girls. lol We fall out but we make it work.
XxFrancineJulietxX 1 year ago
@XxFrancineJulietxX Ohhh... so you two are back together now? I'm sorry, but I cant help but feel you are both Too young to be talking about getting married, then breaking up on facebook... you're 18 and he's 15? I'm sorry, give me your ages again-- I can't tell from your baby faces. I support you in what you do... but have you ever thought that maybe you may need a little more time?
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
@TonyaTko yeah something like that. and LMFFAAOOO!!! no he is 21. and yes of course. we arent rushing into anything. we are def. NOT ready for marriage. we have little fights over who gets to stir the food when we cook together (me being the chef I get to do it) haha
XxFrancineJulietxX 1 year ago
Right On Target! Thank you for this information.
teacher1460 1 year ago
James Buchanan, Jr. was the 15th President of the United States and Only President Never to be married!
soonubian 1 year ago
@soonubian Hey! Long time no see! How/ve you been?
Can you comment on the other content of the video..> We need your mail POV ;-)
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
... question... when a man is truly ready wont he tell you? Or should women be cautious of men who are quickly interested in the idea of marriage, maybe a little to quick? what are your thoughts on that?
natamil 1 year ago 3
@natamil People who are ready are generally open about that... but anyone should be weary of anyone who tries to pressure them into anything...
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
u gonna do one about 5 easy ways to catch a wife?
StraightUp615 1 year ago
@StraightUp615 Catching a wife is easy isnt it? Women are typically very gung-ho abt settling down. Now finding a GOOD Woman... now That is a diff story! :-P
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago 6
@StraightUp615 1) Get a expensive car and when she comes within arm's length grab her and tell her to choose between a phone call to the police or an expensive engagement ring. 2) Get her drunk like HHH did with Steph. 3) Wait till her biological clock starts ticking, reset it and make sure it isn't a bomb and you should be good. 4) Go to the nearest shoe sale and set up booby traps. 5) Watch what TonyaTKO has to say because her ways to catch a wife are probably more likely to be legal.
Popadibs 1 year ago
@Popadibs wow... i don't know how to respond to dat
StraightUp615 1 year ago
@Popadibs
That's pretty funny. Although I only require a green mini Cooper. :D (with an iPod dock!).
lavinder11 1 year ago
James Buchanan was the only president never to marry
7SaintsRow 1 year ago
another great video! thnx tonya. i think you need a tv show. i'd watch it everyday.
amberkw1085 1 year ago
@amberkw1085 Why Thanks Amber... make sure you forward my videos around as much as possible and perhaps it will get into the right hands of someone who can help me get my own show ;-)
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
you should write for essence
DJON405 1 year ago
Gurl you had me laughing the whole video!!! Too funny! Married 14 years but your right on T-TKO!!
tweezee1976 1 year ago
Great vid Ms. Tko.
shaun216 1 year ago
AWESOME!!!! I am passing this to ALL of my girls!!!!!!!!!!
lit26 1 year ago
@lit26 Thank yu, I appreciate the Love :)
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
james buchanan? i got that answer from below, but please shout me out anyways...lol!
KCphantasmagoric 1 year ago
i waited patiently to the end of this video to make a comment-thanks for this video-i have to mull over a couple things-im 25 and when i turned 25 this yr i started to yearn for a partner to settle down with-thank you so much for this video-God blessed the day i subbed to your channel
Free6969 1 year ago
BACHELOR PRESIDENT SHAUN216!
shaun216 1 year ago
Damn you fine as hell! And smart too :-D LOL
7SaintsRow 1 year ago
@7SaintsRow Thanks Sweetheart! :)
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
@TonyaTko Anytime for a woman that can make a blind man see and a gay man straight. Make a brotha wanna get a G.E.D or something!!! LMAO
7SaintsRow 1 year ago
i love this lady...
ladydipset88 1 year ago
did you know i was watching this video backwards?
shaun216 1 year ago
one bajillion times.
shaun216 1 year ago
;-)
shaun216 1 year ago
TO INFINITY... AND BEYOND!
shaun216 1 year ago
I love how you end your videos with a sisterly hug!!!
JDRgoddess 1 year ago 2
Thanks Tonya! Love you lots. I love the video and you are looking great, as usual. I will be going on a date later on this week and I definitely know what to look out for now. Thanks again!
nbaron85 1 year ago
Take it from a guy, unless your man is a pussy, if he doesnt want to settle down, hes not going to. No real man would be persuaded into staying with one woman for the rest of his life. If he doesnt want to, he doesnt want to.
EliteDarknessScyther 1 year ago
I laughes soo hard!! I love # 3. So true.
TheNoleboo 1 year ago
@ TonyaTko girl that is ok. You don't need to be married. I am beginning my masters in marital and family therapy and I am 22 and as single as can be. You have a knowledge...or at least you know where to get it. Research is key..and your doing it. You relate as i its a gift!
Afronozi3 1 year ago
Friday you say??? I am SOOOO there! This was helpful and informative as usual. Thanks again Tonya! Love ya!
hotgrl4lif 1 year ago
So I'm really loving this. I HONESTLY THINK YOU NEED TO GET INTO MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY...you will excel!!!! Great tips....thank you!
Afronozi3 1 year ago 2
@Afronozi3 Thank you for the compliment. As a single unwed woman I dont feel qualified to counsel people on Marriage. As you see I'm in the beginning stages of preparing myself to be a wife.
I interviewed a lot of men to come up with this list, and I have quite a few more gems from my research to share with you all... but for now, most of my knowledge on marriage is 2nd hand :-)
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
LOL! My wife got m at 25, and I married her at 29. If a man is not donee enjoying his fill he's not gonna want to settle down. WOW Tonya have you been swimming around in our minds? Good video! When we stop hiding our phones and start allowing you ladies to answer it, yeah thats a good sign we are not running around and are pretty much ready to settle.
supersayin1 1 year ago 3
@supersayin1 Well I interviewed a LOT of men to come up with this list :)
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
To Answer your trivia question the answer is James Buchanan, (15th President). He married after he got elected.
Great video as always. Very funny but the TOP 5 tips were very much on point!
Particularly the last one about women being ready as well.
KalamityAngel18 1 year ago
Some of the changes on youtube are actually pretty good.
Popadibs 1 year ago
There was one bachelor president: James Buchanan, the 15th president of the U.S.
lashonn90 1 year ago
James Buchanan not married when elected!
Skillet48 1 year ago
Oh no! the body actually does change and shut down when we get older? I thought that was a myth used to frighten us like the boogie man and the tooth fairy!
Popadibs 1 year ago
My honest opinion is for most people to NOT get married. Marriage only throws legal crap into the relationship. Marriage was an idea developed by the church to make some money, and give the church some made-up moral authority. As for kids - if they are envolved, they're better off with one loving parent around rather than fighting and tension all the time as in MOST marriages.
VideoGuyNC 1 year ago
@VideoGuyNC research shows that children that come out of 2 parent households generally come out better than children that come out of single parent households. Most criminals come out of single parent households.
Popadibs 1 year ago
@Popadibs I've read some of those same stats, and I suspect that one of the variables not considered in the results is the conditions the child was living in when the parents were together. Of course - everyone's different, and if one can find the "right" person to live with - more power to them.
VideoGuyNC 1 year ago
@VideoGuyNC One thing about stats is that unless one can know how the study was conducted and all the variables involved they can be led to believe whatever the study would have them to believe and/or speculate. I agree with you to an extent on your stance against marriage. It's legalized marriage that I'm against. The gov't should not be involved in marriage and it only does that out of greed.
Popadibs 1 year ago
@VideoGuyNC
People have been getting married long before "the church" came into existence (binding with spun rings). For instance, Greeks had strange marriage laws in that if you married a non-Greek woman, she wasn't really your wife when you returned home.
"The church" was called in to make these agreements official because some people in middle Europe had trouble with men who would take dowries and run off. The logic was that since God saw the agreement, it would last and be official.
lavinder11 1 year ago
Answer to your questionTwo presidents James Buchanan and Grover Cleveland. Buchanan never married.
Wow Tonya this vid was good now I know that its not really teh right time to marry him its confusing cause he's 26 but he is still working on his career.
Thanks
cherrypinkgirl1 1 year ago
@cherrypinkgirl1 DING DING DING! You get the honorable mention in the next video! Look for that on friday
And don't disqualify him JUST bcz he's building his career hun. Communication is key. Talk to him. See where his head is at right now. SOme men DO marry when they are building... but the caveat is that most don't marry until they KNOW which direction their life is going in. I should have been more clear abt that. Im sorry
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago