Added: 4 years ago
From: Shigoblivion
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  • I <3 you x

  • you are so brave

  • most people just don't know how to respond......and often respond in the worse way....I hate it when a really skinny girls look in the mirrors nd say that they look horrible when they r actually really pretty, or if they talk about it or watch you eat nd force you to eat thats probly the worst.....well if todays crap theres always tomorow just to let you know your beautiful and have changed many lives with your life stories

  • im so sorry that your having a bad day

    and i would love to just give you a hug right now

    you look like you could use a hug

    and i know its hard to go against anorexia but you need to keep fighting

    and your videos

    there really making a differencce

  • I dont have an eating disorder but i try starving myself..i use to cut my self too..im huge.im 5'9" im fat i have huge boobs they are fs. i have always hated who i was.i hated looking in the mirror..i waslways look at skinny girls..and say they look so happy they are so beautiful like you.i always wnated to be them.but then i realized that you have to be happy with who you are as a person and have ppl accept you even if you cant except ur self..i love you you have changed my life god bless u

  • You are so beautiful, i hope you're doing well.

  • Noone will ever know what we go through. And the need, the choices you have to make every single day. With drugs don't do them; with food... not too much not too little.... it for me is like telling a crack adrict to only smoke that stuff 3x's/day and they can't quit! simially to you, i tried recovery but was more MISERABLE in my own skin! having an eating disoder is like having a secret lover/full-time job! the health stuff noone gets, the isolation, much more but oh well. sorry 4 ur day!

  • Like me you have a neurotic personality, you become very addicted to things and very quickly. It's eitherbin your genes or something in your brain. I suffer from Mia and I feel this way everyday. Let's hold hands ok?

  • i know how you feel. i live this almost everyday.

    i hope your doing well bc you are an amazing person.

  • I love you I really hope you are not dead. Someone find out what happened to her!

  • seeing you upset makes me wanna cry =(,

    but i'd give an eternity of happiness to spend just one day with you

  • i think ur beautiful!!! if u need to chat about ur feelings i WILL listen! i think u have alot of courage for posting on something MOST people ignore!! ive been suffering from 'ana'since i was 13yrsold-im 36 now&self-harm/cut on my arms-so i DO understand what ur going through!!! BEST-AIMEE!!!

  • You make me so sad, listen you are beautiful! You are beautiful! I want you to know that you can change and stop hurting, you can be strong! I believe in you and I will be praying for you! Please remember that you are BEAUTIFUL the way you are!! I don't want you to be afraid I want you to be happy

  • you should write a book , i think you are a very itelligent person, and sensible, you could write your story... i wish you all the best, i know is a life-work to survive anorexia, but you can make it, your mother loves you, she could help you if you want to.... think about it.... lots of love !!!

  • fgnfgcnb

  • NENA...you look so sick :( please go to a doctor or something PLEASE....PLEASE eat cause.. eat is important...

  • you look so sick.

  • :( this video made me cry.

  • I know you're already gone from youtube but I really just need to let you know, if you do ever come back and look at these comments. That you've changed my life. I watch your videos over and over all day. You seem like such a truly amazing person and I'd give anything to meet with you and talk.

  • @MrsKiraDepp please tell me...is she okay..?? why has she gone from youtube..?? what happened. Yes, she is a wonderful person . please respond. Thank you.

  • she's really pretty too,,,it sux ;[

  • melatonin tablets help you sleep all night. I take them when i get back from overseas and have bed jet lag :)

    I dance also, and was alsways paid out for the way i looked in my leo.

    xxx

  • Darling, you're gorgeous.

    And I know that means nothing, because it means nothing to me when people have said it before, but I guess thats just what this does to us.

    But for what it's worth, you really are beutiful.

    And there's something about your voice that I just can't put my finger on, but, it makes me feel safe. And like maybe I'm not really so crazy after all.

    Take care

    xxx

  • I'm only 13.And because I have an eating dissorder I always want to smoke but because I'm only 13 I can't. The reason why I want to smoke so badly all the time is that Its a good subsitute for food.

  • Honey smoking is NOT a good subsitute for food! It hurts your lungs, eyes, skin etc...it rots your teeth and in long term use can damage your voicebox so DO NOT SMOKE!

  • I love her...

  • I agree with alot of the comments below. You're really beautiful. Inside - out.

    And I truly mean it.

    I think that all with eating disorders are perfectionists. We strive for something more perfect than all, yet we're not able to see that we are aiming towards death.

    I think you are really brave posting this, saying all this out loud. I hope you feel better soon.

  • but youre so pretty =cc

    your not even pretty--you're extremely gorgeous and

    your so tinyyyy

    your probably skinnier then the majority of the ballerinas there,

    i would KILL to look like you,really,

    and i hope that doesnt sound creepy coming from a stranger,but these videos just make me so sad that someone as pretty as you is down on themselves =c

  • are you alive?!?!? log in!

  • same question!!!!!

  • Hun your so pretty. You really need to eat, you are seriously perfect how you are. xo

  • You inspire me, even though I'm almost recovered. Any time you want to chat message me x

  • you're so lovely

  • shes dead

  • Did she really die? =''[

  • can you please explain? how do you know she's died?

  • just like the other people asking about her, can you explain how/why she died...

    she hasnt signed on for 9 months and if it is true...this is really sad...

  • She's not dead. An apparent friend of hers posted on another of her videos saying she's put on weight, got a boyfriend and "got a life". Apparently she was just too embarrassed to post another video. So yeah, she's all good :)

  • that's good. do you remember what video? and she shouldn't be ashamed. i mean, i'm "recovered" now but we're never FULLY "recovered" but if she's kinda good now, why not let us know?

  • man i went to her profile and its been 4 month since she log in  is she ok i add her to her email to chat with her but i havent senn her (sad)

  • Do not give up on yourself. You are strong, if you weren't strong you would not make these videos to show people the horrors of this disease. Ana does not define who you are. YOU define who you are.

  • Thank you for posting this video.

    I hope you get better.

  • shes dead

  • hiya. i know u ended up finding a college friend of hers or sumthing,and they sed she dropped out? what exactly happened when u talked to her friend? how did u find out she died?

  • RIYA! dude..lol

    what are the chances i find you here...?

    :p

  • lolllllllllllllll im practically everywhere ;-) xox

  • My dear you must look inside yourself and find the courage to fight this. You are a beautiful and smart girl, no need to destroy yourself. If you can't love oursel no one else will be able to either. You can do it, FIGHT THIS!!!

  • eat you look weak

  • i cried when i saw this, its so painful.

    Sweetheart, ur so beautiful and seems so intelligent. And its a shame that a girl like you has ana.

    You are so beautiful. Keep holding on.

  • I swear you are me!

    i can relate so much to every word

  • ok so i had a friend with anorexia and she still is,

    but it came out that the most important problem was

    depression not anorexia. so if you havent tried please concider that maby you are depresive.

    or manic depression.

    what bothers me the most is why the most interesting and inteligent people suffer (sorry for the words strong) mental disorders.

    precious videos keep strong to help others.

    you made my day there are uniqe beautiful souls in this shitty world.thx

  • come on sweetheart!! think that this is just a bad period of your life..i'm sure you can make it!! don't cry..please stop smoking..i know it's a little late but i'd really like to know how you are today...so,i'm waiting for your last video!! keep walking!! :)

  • Well this is the third video of yours I've seen in the past 30 minutes. I know I'm really late, but I'm still sorry you've had such a bad day. I know everything will get better for you. It may seem bad right now, but it'll all be okay. You have so much support from everyone here who's not an ass*Cough*riddlbox701*Cough*. We've all got your back, so keep strong and keep us updated.*Hugs*

  • Hey.. Just came across your videos when I was randomly searching ED stuff ... really affected me cause I have been going through the same stuff but I have been better the last couple of years not all the way but much better than I used to me. Hope you get better *hugs*

  • AHHHHH :'(

  • Please don't cry..stand up whit all these...If I'll speak perfect english, i'll be there with you all the moments..helping you..

  • why don't you get your fist out of your ass and stick it in your mouth you moron

  • Obviously if it was that easy, she would.

    Why don't you try living a day with an eating disorder, hmm?

  • You are BRAVE, Shig for talkin' about the problem with no fears and with that very noticeable confidence.

    I have a question though, if you don't mind; Do anorexic people like the very slim and skinny look and that's why they don't eat well? I mean do they always seek looking like those French models and that's why they always want to lose more and more weight? and then they naturally start to develop this as a habit and fear food like you said before?

  • I think it's partially an addictive personality and a lot low self esteem. For me anyway.

  • i wish i could meet you and give you a hug and talk about everything :[ you remind me of me

  • So reading the comments just on the first page of this, it's kinda scary just how fucking ignorant everyone is, huh?

  • omg ,thats a sin .

    like i hardly eat . like i'd probly eat once every 2 days . or something like that . i always think im fat . but i think that i should eat more so i dont die . you've inspired me . love ya girl .

  • im guessing that your a stupid chav supershwa420 .. the girl hhas a disorder like all chavs have a disorsder of retardness you wont understand what shes going throught no one will just pray she gets better.

  • Ah I like the hair actualy. Probably just lik eat some pie would help, but then again what do I know, I'm pretty thi, but I think it's because i have a reall fast motablism, i smoke like a train, drink allot to, eat fucking loads of pie! Pie is reall cool stuff! Pie is friendly food.

  • I'm sorry your day was so horrible. :( *oodles of gentle hugs for you if they help any* The sad thing is......no-one understands how someone with a disorder feels of the struggles they have unless they have it themselves. *sigh*

    Please take gentle, loving care of yourself. *hug*

  • you dont have to talk crap about someone who feels different than you do. why dont you get off of your ass and do something better than talk crap to people with eating disorders

  • Get wel girly! You deserve it.

  • great video... i love how you know exactly how to say it.

  • Don't listen to those sick people. You are beautiful. You are so much like me. (I don't mean I'm beautiful I mean your personality)

  • ...what?

  • Try being kind instead of talking shit. If you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything at all.

  • I love your video diaries and can totally relate to absolutely everything you're saying. Seriously i cant believe how identical our stories are xx

  • You are smoking hot and you look better with out the makeup. Best of luck getting your eating disorder under control.

  • You're such a dick gankthehorde

    She goes to school, so she obviously sees the sun you prick.

    alliance suck.

  • stop it becuase its killing you

    the xtc pil what i take can olso kill me

    butt thats my fault im doing drugs

    this is all between your ears

    and it hard to delete but try to delete that

    so life would be much better

  • You have no idea what you're talking about. Just shut up.

  • why did you even bother watching this video if you knew you were just going to be a complete ignorant asshole?

    there was absolutely no fucking need. if you had watched her other videos, you'd know that she goes to uni and has naturally pale skin. so she DOES see the sun.

  • please stop doing this to yourself

    its bad to see you this way.

  • if you dont mind me asking how old are you and how much do you weigh? clearly you dont have to answer, im just courious...

  • I wish i could trade places with you for a month.... You'd really know what being fat felt like... Again, i dont know what weighing system you use but i weigh 175lbs and i am 5'4....that is fat. You are such a beautiful girl. you have a good head on your shoulders. Please stop hurting yourself. I want to be your friend. I want to help you. even if it means just talking to you.

  • I also have hair loss due to pulling out my hair(Trichotillomania). My sister said to me "just because you have a bald patch does'nt mean you have to cut your hair off", so now I have bald patches but cover it up with my long hair. I just wanted to share this with you. Juggeling an eating disorder, being gay and pulling out my hair is hard and I too cry alot when I'm triered. So chin up hun, you are a beautiful person, you"ll make a fabulous doctor one day. Sophie x

  • if fattening a bit and lets you serious long hair a beautiful

  • I am bulimic, and want to be a doctor, but I always think that I'm irrational because I'm making myself sick and still want to help others... I eel so hypocritical because I know what this disease does to people, but I still can't stop it. ShigOblivion, I'd really love to talk to you someday. You're a wonderful and very smart person, courageous enough to try and help others. Thank you so much for all you've said. Anna

  • I totally get you when you said you feel like people are watching you and you feel paranoid about it. I feel that all the time! Sometimes I isolate myself from society and all social contacts for weeks and sometimes even months. I only go outside at nights with my dog in the woods. I'm just terrified of going outside because there are _people_ and they can _see_ me :(. I get panic attack if I try.

    I just want to say that your videos really touch me so much!! I wish I could say something...

  • An eating disorder my honey is NOT a mindset, it is pschological illness and you must get help with it. Accepting the fact that you actually do have this illness is the first step. Many people who have an eating disorder are of the opinion once they find out what it really is , that they dont have one.

    I had an excellent counsellor with the eating disorder service in coatbridge and the ladies name was Sandra she was firm but so good for me. Helped me a lot. you need to talk to professionals.x

  • just because u have an eating disorder does not make u stupid, it is simply a mindset, u must always keep ur dreams in mind and no matter what u think of yourself u must always keep those dreams alive,.. and if anything the other girls in ballet would probably be jealous of ur body and they are the ones thinking that they are fat elephants. so please always know that u are simply human having problems, just know that u are not alone.

  • Hi you. I just want to say , thanks, for just sitting there talking so ..open about your problems, I don't have eating disorder, but I also had a really bad day today , but for some reason, you makes me smile : ) thanks girl ^

  • when u suffer from something lik that and u DONT EAT. and u wanna recover ur self u cant just eat a lot constanly and then feel like ur ok. itll be worse! u have to eat little by little. dont eat a lot at once little by little and ull recover slowy

  • and with the halls

    it's a year

    everybody goes through the horrible small rooms of the halls

    but if your parents have the economic ability to take you to a flat on your own then do it

    but the most important thing is to go to your GP to get help

    please do that. You are going to become stronger if you get over this

    plus if you go like this your days at the Uni are not going to be long.

    please help yourself.

    it's a pitty.

    God bless you

  • Girl!!!

    Get real. Lord I see in a beautiful woman, that is actually harming herself with her behaviour.You deserve a lot more than this, than being miserable.

    You should ask for help. Go to your GP and ask for to be seen by a psychologist and go to a NHS support group.

    The thing is that you are really smart and you can actually recognise your symptoms, you label your situation, but still you don't seek for help.

    Be strong

  • Sweety :( I'd do anything to comfort you tbh. i was a self harmer too, and i've now developed bulimia, and i desperatly want to be thin..i have the odd cigarettes, and i'm a dancer and i'm so against it. i don't sleep properly...i can relate to you so much. Just force a smile on your pretty face. Alice x

  • I just wanted to hug you when you started to cry about what you think people would say. This is something I really can't understand, I don't expect to. I hope you get better, and happier.

  • Have you been assessed for an Autistic Spectrum Disorder? You sound so much like me, it's unbelievable! I have Asperger Syndrome. Now I can make sense of my world, even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else! I'm a girl too = with Anorexia!!!

  • you are beautiful!!! Please beat it I am trying to beat this too!I know we can do it! And you will be the best doctor in the world! xoxoxoxoxox

  • I've added your videos to my faves. ^^

  • i know you posted this a year ago, but i just want to give you a big hug

  • she posted this on january 21 of 2008 actually

  • Hello, I hope you read this!

    You really need to know that somebody loves you, and you need to love yourself. That is soooo important in life! Look in the mirror each day and tell yourself you are beautiful. Find things in yourself you love! Know that God loves you more than anyone ever could. Pray to him and tell him everything. Keep fighting. I wish you the best!

  • hi..

    one year ago.. wow..

    I just wanted to tell you.. you're very beautiful, weird.

    I mean. I understand a part of your troubles and of what you feel.

    I wish I had more English words to explain it :) - but maybe it would make no difference.

    But. I mean. I'm here watching you, with many others people.

    So just thank you.

    I wish you knew you're beautiful.

  • keep fighting hunnni!

    i no how u feel and u CAN do this.

    take care

  • Fuck I wish I could eat man i'm serious what I wouldn't give for a fridge full of food I'm hungry and it sucks cuase I don't mean to be the way I am I'm just poor I eat what I can whenever I can

  • An old man turned ninety-eight

    He won the lottery and died the next day

    It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

    It's a death row pardon two minutes too late

    Isn't it ironic... don't you think...

  • omg i dont know why but i love that O.O

  • thats from the song Ironic by alanis morisette (dalesuave)

  • yes you are right...

  • and u re not fat at all....u are very pretty and hot.....

  • i didn't see all of yours videos but every time i see one of them it make me feel really sad and i don't know if i could pass trough all that like you did....and i must say,u are really pretty and i hope u are gone feel better...wish u well...

  • Wishing you well.

  • I hope with all my heart you'll be better. Show us that you can and you want to make this. Show us it's possible no matter how deep in the shit we are. I belive in you.

  • Comeone girl. You can do this. Start to eat. The time is now. You can sart with one coockie a day and with every week take more cookies! You can get over this!

  • Come on girl, people quit heroine, LSD, people win olympic games without legs, i'm sure you can eat! as i told you already, if you want to help the people with ana, just show them how u BEAT IT.

  • Hey, Shig, this is Melanie, formally delilahtoyoursamson here on youtube. I made a video reply to one of your videos, but I deleted my old account for fear of people I knew finding me out. I just wanted to let you know I'm still watching. This video really broke my heart. I can relate so much. Know you're not alone.

  • You remind me of myself a lot...

  • i know this isn't why you are making these videos, but you are fascinating. i have struggled with bulimia for many years and it is a whole different disorder with different behaviors so i can't completely relate, but i just find anorexics to have such will power. for me its like instead of being competitive and wanting to be the best, i have this roadblock in my mind that says i will never be the best so why try. i look forward to ep 6 and hope all is well.

  • i had an eating disorde you think you cant then your body cant because you think you cant.

    Believe you can do it and your body will do it with you. xxxxx

    TALK to me whenever you want!! xxxxxxxxx

  • i have been a dancer for 8 years; ballet is the only thing left that makes me happy. i just began watching your videos, so i'm not sure whether you've taken the lessons..but you really should, if you want to. having the want will make you accomplish anything with practice in ballet, it's the only thing that doesn't make me feel like a complete failure.

  • When you keep thinking about the bad things about you , that is not good . It will make you even more depressed. Try thinking about the good things about yourself.

  • hi ana...you know you'r talk, you'r face and many thing of ya like avril....shez my one of fevouret...

    but plz dont wanna looke ya like this....really i'm crying to donno why....you'r every words just cuting me....maby becose i can feel your prob.....i know what is it....you'r not allone...live you'r life

    a big hug sis

  • Her names not Ana, that's what they call aneroxia. That's why it says Ana (aneroxia) consumes me. I consume nothing.

  • Stupid word counter! i hate it, expecualy because i talk alot and it tends to cut me off...anyways as i was saying i think it takes alot of courage for you to post these videos, and i kno it is helping alot of people to know that they are not alone in this, and i think alot of people look up to u also. I hope things get better, i realy do. And i knwo they will, one of these days, jsut one day at a time, thats all you realy can do. I wish u the best of luck with everything

  • Hey!!!!!!!! Its 217 am here in jersey and i am bored...i was just looking through random videos and i found yours.....i first want to complement u on ur makeup job! I try to do that but usualy my eye makeup runs down my face, or it gets in my eye ha...i also want to say that u are one of the most strongest and beautifulest people! I reamember when i was annorexic, how i was sooo scared to socialize without feeling diffrent, and for you to make a video...i think it takes alot of courage.

  • You're an adorable, beautiful girl. I know that probably won't get through to you, but maybe one day you'll realize that you are a gift to this world. I hope things went better after this...lol if you didn't notice I'm a couple months off of how you're doing now. Well, I'm off to some more recent videos!

  • u risk to drift away this way. i was living with my parents when i was anorexic, and once when i felt heart weakness in the middle of the night they made me eat suger, if i had been alone....please take care.

  • You are so articulate and insightful - your videos have made me think about a lot of things.

    I'm also from Derbyshire! At medical school at the moment, my dream, but it took a long time to get here due to anorexia and other mental health problems.

    Let me know if you'd like to talk. You seem a lovely girl. (And I'm a ballet fiend too hehe!)

    x

  • eating disorders fucking suck.

    i hope things get better

    p.s you are so cute.

  • oh shig.......im so so sory....i had one of those days today too.....when things get bad....they just.. go horribley wrong dont they. i used to bite when i was little. throwing urself down the stiars at such a young age...do u remember much else about that age? could u b blocking something out? anyway enough of that i dont want to make u more miserable! well...all i can say is i hope u get lots of sleep..and things improve. *hugs*

  • take care xxx

  • Ballet buddies!

  • hey shig, it's V. I'll hold your hand in ballet and I'll be the elephant to your swan. I wish you could see you how I see you, but alas I have ana-tinted goggles myself. Come over to my flat anytime,

    V (from R&G)

  • I'll be over when ever you like, I hope you have a great weekend, I am looking forward to monday now :) and thankyou for coming over last night it was great :)

  • take heart - you can't have good days without bad ones! :)

    and trust in V, with her you are in good hands. :)

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