thanks this really helps. I really wanted to look like a woman, but still have a penis :| and I watched some videos and thought maybe getting testerone might help, but don't know and how would my family accept this... they accept me as being gay, but wanting to be a woman? I need help?
Thank you for posting this! I've been calling myself genderqueer for a few months now without really considering butch. Originally, when I thought butch, I thought of those girls with baggy paint-stained clothes and backward ball caps (like in Team Gina's music vid Butch/Femme). You've helped open my mind a bit more. I'll definitely be checking out that book.
Well, what i wanted to say: I think it's so cool that you feel that way, because it helps me understand myself better too (knowing that there's people who didn't quite feet in "ftm standards", but still have this feminine/masculine dynamic). Thanks!
No problem, I'm glad you enjoyed my video. I think it's important to understand that people can embody gender any way they want. It's okay for there to be masculine women and feminine men, regardless of who was assigned what gender at birth. I wish you the best of luck. Feel free to drop me a line if you ever want to talk more. Take care.
Great vid! I talked to my Psychologist yesterday (about me being ftm) and he said: "well, it's a shame that women, who don't fit the woman's stereotype fell they have to become men. Why cannot there be masculine Women or femenine Men." I do want my body to be masculine (have beard, lower voice, etc), but i acknowledge, that i also have a feminine part, that i don't want to loose. Though in me, it's more like i feel right as a "feminine" man.
I think your psychologists response was a perfect example of cisgender privilege. Yes, there have been butch women who transitioned because they felt pressure to be men instead of women, but the overwhelming majority of people transition because it's just who they are. Thank you for commenting. Good luck and I hope your psychologists eventually learns to be a little more supportive.
Interesting, I came across your videos through watching your recital of Hats off to beautiful femmes by Ivan Coyote- an absolute favorite of mine, being one of the femmes she talks of.
I like your approach, you speak well and have a certain charm to your postings.
Thank you so much for this video! I helped me look at myself in a new way. I have been identifying as ftm, but I was never completely happy with that because it didn't seem to completely fit. Whereas, a masculine woman does. I can be masculine without sacrificing my feminine side. Thanks again and best wishes!
I'm so glad it helped a little. It can be really difficult navigating gender when there are so many options out there, but I'm glad you found something that seems to work for you. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about this more or if you have any questions. Thanks for your comment and for the sub. Take care!
I feel the need to become slightly more masculine around lots of strong feminine feeling people, and slightly more feminine around strong masculine feeling people. There's only certain types of people who don't throw me off (hypermasculine and especially hyperfeminine always throw me off and make me very uncomfortable). So I like people who balance male and female within themselves too, either inside or out. Anyway, just felt the need to ramble here! Thanks again for your video. Take care
That wasn't a ramble at all, thank you for your insight. I totally feel you on the yin and yang. I would consider myself to be exactly what you described there. I have many deep womanly attributes, but on the surface I have a lot of masculine characteristics that I like having recognized. I don't see a reason to limit oneself to one side or the other. I brought up the point in one of my other videos that butch women don't have to be lesbians, but most people didn't comment on that.
Theres such a huge stereotype out there surrounding just this issue. People see a masculine woman and assume she must automatically 1) be a lesbian, 2) be only attracted to femmes, 3) hate all men. Its absurd. Thank you for your comment and for simply being who you are. Dont change yourself for anyone youll find the right guy and when you do, hell love you for everything that you are.
The only possible analogy I can give people is yin and yang. My physical dress is yang but my physical presence is yin. I have very yin traits... caring, nurturing, compassionate, listener. I also have many yang traits... driven, practical, down to earth, good with hands. I would consider my overall presence to be a balance, sometimes slightly more one way or the other, depending on my mood, and also on the yin yang balance around me. This is quite interesting I have noticed...
I suppose I just don't want to confuse and threathen people and it saddens me that I do that just by being myself. I wish people would just understand me, but people can only see me as a butch lesbian, closetted FTM or total dag uncaring unkept straight woman. And I'm none of these. Very stressed about getting a boyfriend and totally alienating his parents when I go to dinner in a suit as his new 'girlfriend'! (why can't people just stick to day time picnics?!?)
As far as sexuality goes, the idea of being a gay transman was something I totally couldn't fathom, just no appeal. But socially I can see it would be a lot easier. I have all sorts of anxieties about formal events especially, turning up to places in a nice shirt and slacks and either feeling like a total dag (being compared to other women) or a butch lesbian (I like men).
Great video, the answer came for me with indigenous cultures too. For the first time I actually felt like I was not alien to womanhood! I realised that a huge part of my dysphoria was the western materialistic hyperfeminine ideal.... but if we're talking women as earthy, caring, nurturing and loving gentle beings, then I absolutely fit! It's just so hard since I am attracted to males, and I don't know how a androgynous/soft butch female bodied, male attracted person goes about that world
hey julz, thanks, this was an interesting video. i definitely recognized myself in some instances. many people talk about what they are sure about but don't talk about the phases they are/were unsure of their gender. so, thanks for sharing!
I'm amazed. And kind of speechless. I feel exactly the same way, every five seconds of your video, I was going "uhuh, I feel that too, yup I agree.." etc. I think Stone Butch Blues has already changed my life and just read it for the first time last week.
It's a really weird feeling to realize it's okay to be me.
I'll be moving across country in about a month and I've decided to go by my chosen name, without the switch in pronouns...
I definitely identify as GQ, and transgender for that matter, but butch is usually the first word that comes to mind when I'm describing myself. Transgender as an umbrella term is a little too confusing for people who don't know the vocab and genderqueer is often too large and nonspecific for me. I like butch because it comes with a really long history- some good, some bad, but I like seeing the ways it has changed and developed over the years.
As I wrote to someone lately, "those (oh so tricky) definitions." I fall under "transgender"... more than once, apparently, hah, but I always think of other descriptors: GQ, and.... I never say "cross-dresser," since it implies there's some precise gender barrier one is "going across," while the binary is arbitrary, imaginary, muddled, etc. Instead, I say "I like drag" somewhere in my intro. And then Q or pansexual for orientation. I'm a lot of different things; complexity is natural for people.
I hear you on the "cross-dresser" term. I've always avoided that one because I just don't think gender works that way. I like the term drag and what it's all about. I think drag is about pushing your boundaries and presenting yourself with a part of the spectrum you normally don't feel home in - so even though I identify as a woman, I wouldn't consider wearing men's clothing drag. In fact, I would call wearing women's clothes drag - if I ever wore them... which I never do.
Your a big part of me finally figuring things out, if it wasnt for a lot of your videos I would probably still be struggling to make sense of where I fit in.
thanks this really helps. I really wanted to look like a woman, but still have a penis :| and I watched some videos and thought maybe getting testerone might help, but don't know and how would my family accept this... they accept me as being gay, but wanting to be a woman? I need help?
MrMerchiodos 2 months ago
I'm so glad I found this video! It sounds like our experiences with gender have been kind of similar. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
TheSLOfox 1 year ago
Thanks for this video! I'm kind of different too - I'm ftm, but I don't really have gender dysphoria (right now anyways)
jeremyethan17 1 year ago
Thank you for posting this! I've been calling myself genderqueer for a few months now without really considering butch. Originally, when I thought butch, I thought of those girls with baggy paint-stained clothes and backward ball caps (like in Team Gina's music vid Butch/Femme). You've helped open my mind a bit more. I'll definitely be checking out that book.
blownaFUSE 1 year ago
@blownaFUSE I'm glad to have helped! Let me know how you like it.
JulzB525 1 year ago
@blownaFUSE I'm glad to have helped! Let me know how you like it.
JulzB525 1 year ago
@JulzB525 I'm buying it tomorrow. I'll let you know.
blownaFUSE 1 year ago
Well, what i wanted to say: I think it's so cool that you feel that way, because it helps me understand myself better too (knowing that there's people who didn't quite feet in "ftm standards", but still have this feminine/masculine dynamic). Thanks!
JessoTorfer 2 years ago
No problem, I'm glad you enjoyed my video. I think it's important to understand that people can embody gender any way they want. It's okay for there to be masculine women and feminine men, regardless of who was assigned what gender at birth. I wish you the best of luck. Feel free to drop me a line if you ever want to talk more. Take care.
JulzB525 2 years ago
Great vid! I talked to my Psychologist yesterday (about me being ftm) and he said: "well, it's a shame that women, who don't fit the woman's stereotype fell they have to become men. Why cannot there be masculine Women or femenine Men." I do want my body to be masculine (have beard, lower voice, etc), but i acknowledge, that i also have a feminine part, that i don't want to loose. Though in me, it's more like i feel right as a "feminine" man.
JessoTorfer 2 years ago
I think your psychologists response was a perfect example of cisgender privilege. Yes, there have been butch women who transitioned because they felt pressure to be men instead of women, but the overwhelming majority of people transition because it's just who they are. Thank you for commenting. Good luck and I hope your psychologists eventually learns to be a little more supportive.
JulzB525 1 year ago
Hi there,
Interesting, I came across your videos through watching your recital of Hats off to beautiful femmes by Ivan Coyote- an absolute favorite of mine, being one of the femmes she talks of.
I like your approach, you speak well and have a certain charm to your postings.
Keep them coming.....!
millieshmillie 2 years ago
Thank you so much for this video! I helped me look at myself in a new way. I have been identifying as ftm, but I was never completely happy with that because it didn't seem to completely fit. Whereas, a masculine woman does. I can be masculine without sacrificing my feminine side. Thanks again and best wishes!
SeanCarmen41 2 years ago
I'm so glad it helped a little. It can be really difficult navigating gender when there are so many options out there, but I'm glad you found something that seems to work for you. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about this more or if you have any questions. Thanks for your comment and for the sub. Take care!
JulzB525 2 years ago
I feel the need to become slightly more masculine around lots of strong feminine feeling people, and slightly more feminine around strong masculine feeling people. There's only certain types of people who don't throw me off (hypermasculine and especially hyperfeminine always throw me off and make me very uncomfortable). So I like people who balance male and female within themselves too, either inside or out. Anyway, just felt the need to ramble here! Thanks again for your video. Take care
twopointsix 2 years ago 2
That wasn't a ramble at all, thank you for your insight. I totally feel you on the yin and yang. I would consider myself to be exactly what you described there. I have many deep womanly attributes, but on the surface I have a lot of masculine characteristics that I like having recognized. I don't see a reason to limit oneself to one side or the other. I brought up the point in one of my other videos that butch women don't have to be lesbians, but most people didn't comment on that.
JulzB525 2 years ago
Theres such a huge stereotype out there surrounding just this issue. People see a masculine woman and assume she must automatically 1) be a lesbian, 2) be only attracted to femmes, 3) hate all men. Its absurd. Thank you for your comment and for simply being who you are. Dont change yourself for anyone youll find the right guy and when you do, hell love you for everything that you are.
JulzB525 2 years ago
Feel free to message me if you have any questions or if you want to talk about this more in depth. I wish you all my best. Take care.
JulzB525 2 years ago
The only possible analogy I can give people is yin and yang. My physical dress is yang but my physical presence is yin. I have very yin traits... caring, nurturing, compassionate, listener. I also have many yang traits... driven, practical, down to earth, good with hands. I would consider my overall presence to be a balance, sometimes slightly more one way or the other, depending on my mood, and also on the yin yang balance around me. This is quite interesting I have noticed...
twopointsix 2 years ago
I suppose I just don't want to confuse and threathen people and it saddens me that I do that just by being myself. I wish people would just understand me, but people can only see me as a butch lesbian, closetted FTM or total dag uncaring unkept straight woman. And I'm none of these. Very stressed about getting a boyfriend and totally alienating his parents when I go to dinner in a suit as his new 'girlfriend'! (why can't people just stick to day time picnics?!?)
twopointsix 2 years ago
As far as sexuality goes, the idea of being a gay transman was something I totally couldn't fathom, just no appeal. But socially I can see it would be a lot easier. I have all sorts of anxieties about formal events especially, turning up to places in a nice shirt and slacks and either feeling like a total dag (being compared to other women) or a butch lesbian (I like men).
twopointsix 2 years ago
Great video, the answer came for me with indigenous cultures too. For the first time I actually felt like I was not alien to womanhood! I realised that a huge part of my dysphoria was the western materialistic hyperfeminine ideal.... but if we're talking women as earthy, caring, nurturing and loving gentle beings, then I absolutely fit! It's just so hard since I am attracted to males, and I don't know how a androgynous/soft butch female bodied, male attracted person goes about that world
twopointsix 2 years ago
ohi sapessi! cosa tu diresti .. starei messa bene!!!! che scatole non saper l' inglese!
grimenide 2 years ago
hey julz, thanks, this was an interesting video. i definitely recognized myself in some instances. many people talk about what they are sure about but don't talk about the phases they are/were unsure of their gender. so, thanks for sharing!
SHeroK2 2 years ago
Thank you for watching!
JulzB525 2 years ago
I'm amazed. And kind of speechless. I feel exactly the same way, every five seconds of your video, I was going "uhuh, I feel that too, yup I agree.." etc. I think Stone Butch Blues has already changed my life and just read it for the first time last week.
It's a really weird feeling to realize it's okay to be me.
I'll be moving across country in about a month and I've decided to go by my chosen name, without the switch in pronouns...
Thank you so much for your videos.
TheMrSamAaron 2 years ago
It really is an incredible book. Congratulations on your realization and good luck with your move!
JulzB525 2 years ago
Do you feel you identify as GQ (partially, maybe)?
thebeardedtraveler 2 years ago
I definitely identify as GQ, and transgender for that matter, but butch is usually the first word that comes to mind when I'm describing myself. Transgender as an umbrella term is a little too confusing for people who don't know the vocab and genderqueer is often too large and nonspecific for me. I like butch because it comes with a really long history- some good, some bad, but I like seeing the ways it has changed and developed over the years.
JulzB525 2 years ago
As I wrote to someone lately, "those (oh so tricky) definitions." I fall under "transgender"... more than once, apparently, hah, but I always think of other descriptors: GQ, and.... I never say "cross-dresser," since it implies there's some precise gender barrier one is "going across," while the binary is arbitrary, imaginary, muddled, etc. Instead, I say "I like drag" somewhere in my intro. And then Q or pansexual for orientation. I'm a lot of different things; complexity is natural for people.
thebeardedtraveler 2 years ago
I hear you on the "cross-dresser" term. I've always avoided that one because I just don't think gender works that way. I like the term drag and what it's all about. I think drag is about pushing your boundaries and presenting yourself with a part of the spectrum you normally don't feel home in - so even though I identify as a woman, I wouldn't consider wearing men's clothing drag. In fact, I would call wearing women's clothes drag - if I ever wore them... which I never do.
Yay complexity!
JulzB525 2 years ago
<3. Thank you for this.
xxthread 2 years ago
You're very welcome. <3 right back at ya.
JulzB525 2 years ago
Once agian thanks for making videos :) you're deffiently a help.
ininkplease 2 years ago
Always happy to help!
JulzB525 2 years ago
Your a big part of me finally figuring things out, if it wasnt for a lot of your videos I would probably still be struggling to make sense of where I fit in.
ininkplease 2 years ago