Relationship Advice: Desperate Man - Do All Women Want Kids?

[bebesutil]

Me and my husband are both "onlies" and we never liked kids. That's our instant attraction (aside from the physical, of course). Then I found myself pregnant and we decided to keep the baby. She's now two and never a day that we were sorry to have her. So Dan & Jen were right that you really don't know who you will be in 5 years (if you'll even be alive, right?). We are already in our mid-40s and this baby was an unexpected happy surprise. One day at a time is a GREAT ADVICE!

[jezzieBell05]

Worst advice EVER! so patronising and dismisses the poor guy's problem. He doesn't want kids, end of story. He needs to let the women he meets know so that he can move on if need be and eventually make a good match. I choose at an early age not to have children and make it clear to my prospective longterm partners they will not ever find a mother in me.

[bebesutil]

@jezzieBell05 You two are a match. Maybe Dan and Jenn can just set you up.

[Thatsamistery]

These people are stupid, I would never take advice from them

[wclac]

Most women who want kids are pedophiles.

[DrnkSqrrlProductions]

I just turned 31 and am pretty set on not wanting to become a father for a variety of reasons. But im starting to have real doubts if i'll find a woman who also feels the same way in my age category, getting kinda depressing.....

[hotlips4000isback2]

@DrnkSqrrlProductions

I'm a 31 year old Female who doesn't want kids either, and i have always known from a young age.

We DO exist, don't give up! :)

[DrnkSqrrlProductions]

@hotlips4000isback2 Thanks, thats encouraging to hear. Now its just a mattering of finding the right lady like you at the right time.....

[hotlips4000isback2]

@DrnkSqrrlProductions

Ha ha, that's OK :p; I turned 31 in May! :)

Socialise with mates, and when you are not looking, you may find that Woman who feels the same way as you!

Good Luck! :)

[DrnkSqrrlProductions]

@hotlips4000isback2 Heh, turned 31 in June myself. You wouldn't happen to be in Montana woulda ya? Worth a shot lol!

[hotlips4000isback2]

@DrnkSqrrlProductions

LMAO ;p, nope, I'm from across the pond, London, England! :)

[DrnkSqrrlProductions]

@hotlips4000isback2 Drat.... I do really love English woman though, your accents are so freaking sexy. Ok, i'll shut up now...

[hotlips4000isback2]

@DrnkSqrrlProductions

("Drat") Ain't herd that saying in a while....!

Thanks for the compliment, assuming you are not being sarcastic about our accents?! :)

[DrnkSqrrlProductions]

@hotlips4000isback2 Nope, i'm being serious, woman with english accents are so freaking sexy sounding

[hotlips4000isback2]

@DrnkSqrrlProductions

Well thank you, I'll accept that compliment on behalf of all the Brits here! :)

[HondaRaycer]

Ugh... this video is rambling.

[AntDog1984]

these two are complete douche bags, I never want to have kids, there a burden financially, emotionally and physically, From my experience people want babies and toddlers, not teens and young adults who could put you through hell. I know today I don't want kids and I know in 20 years I wont want kids, and that will never change because the though of them makes me sick. About growing old alone,: look at those in nursery homes rarely visited by their family. Get a hobby not kids.

[KirstyBandicoot1]

@AntDog1984 I Know and Respect your Opinion and I'm Not trying to be cocky or smart ass so please don't think that..But You was a kid and if your parents thought that way you never would've been born...And Yes I was Like that through Teenage no Kids through my 20's I still didn't want them but when I Turned 30 My Motherly Instinct Kicked In &This Time around I Have 2 Beautiful Children and they aren't Burdens, Only a Number of Children,Teenagers. Are Hell-Raisers. Not being Offensive to any1 x

[AntDog1984]

@KirstyBandicoot1 I guess part of the reason why I think this way is that I yea I was a kid, and I put my parents (good loving parents) through hell both financially and emotionally, I carry so much regret from my wasted youth, so much potential I squandered on drugs and partying that it makes me a bit fearful that I will end up raising someone like me. I do have a strong desire to "mentor" youth, I just don't know about being a parent.

[KirstyBandicoot1]

@AntDog1984 I Understand that I Put my parents through the same and Mine were Loving as well But you could be a parent All I did was teach my eldest daughter the effects of drinking and drugs and even now she hasn't caused any trouble yet where's as I was already getting brought back in police car's drunk and high off my ass at 13 years old. So I Think It can change, I Know I can't make you think different or change your oppinion But if your still young Id give it some time before you make plans

[tsg581ba1]

@AntDog1984 Right on baby... You sumed it up so well. I love you !!!

[setustraight]

There are PLEANTY of women who dont want to rip their vagina open in childbirth

[jlwelch]

Its good to know that there are women out there who don't want kids. This video actually was enlightening. I don't want kids.

[DrnkSqrrlProductions]

Sorry ladies, but I just don't have the patience, desire or want to become a parent. I saw how much my parents sacrificed for me and my sister and how hard they worked and I don't believe I can do the same and I definently don't wanna be part of the poor or bad father section of society.

[pupydejz]

The only good advice would be - WHOEVER even MENTIONS a kid, dump them IMMEDIATELY!

[pupydejz]

what about MEN that want children, that is even more disturbing!!!!!!!!

[NashvilleKildCountry]

I'm almost 21 and haven't changed my mind since I was 10. Don't pull that "You'll change your mind" bullshit on me.

[Sw1tchBladeMalone]

BASICALLY you Just told Every woman that is with a guy who doesn't want Kids to STICK AROUND... well guess what... THAT'S A LOT OF BROKEN DREAMS.

I don't want kids and I dont expect any woman to wait around for me to "change my mind"

BECAUSE I WONT

[reesescupbrandy1]

I'm a female and I never once wanted a child. I'm not too fond of children.

[Kayelle1980]

I think the "wait ten years" is a really bad advise. Chances are he won't change his mind, and then he'll be leading that woman on to thinking he can give her that family, while he's not willing to. He should look into childfree sites and see if he can find a partner there.

[TheEdX999]

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[tyboy0735]

hey im a single male that doesnt want kids and i found a women how thought the same way just keep looking man dont just settle

[sabdow]

@tyboy0735 -- Im gonna tell you something that NONE of your friends have the balls to tell you -- Your girlfriend is going to cheat on you or leave in a year or two.

[tyboy0735]

@sabdow well we have been dating for four years so i dont see it coming and why you so worried about me something tells me youre gonna die single, and if she leaves to me i dont care women come a dime a dozen budddy and i have a dollar lol

[sabdow]

@tyboy0735 -- No-body sees it coming. And the longer your relationship goes, the bigger the chance of things being "let go" and it happening. You're a bit of a relationship noob but it's okay, you can take some free advice here. Women come a dime a dozen but you only have 1 ego and when it gets that knock-out punch to the guts then you'll know exactly what Im talking about.

[tyboy0735]

@sabdow something tell me you had a good women and she left you flat and an ego can be reflated, what is a relationship noob use english please i do hear what your saying but in all relationship over a time period fade out i am just worried about me and my career and you can get up after time from an k.o punch sir i say you go out and get laid man stop worring about ME i agree with u some what but u dont know me and i dont know u

[sabdow]

@tyboy0735 -- Im worried for you! youre a relationship noob

[tyboy0735]

@sabdow ok so now u are mrs cleo you know the future i see then tell me the lottery winning numbers and once again what is a relationship noob i feel like im back in seventh grade when you talk

[stealdove]

This is nothing more then she wants to be with multible men, ( loose ) to me. all an I mean all women have the need to be a mother, an if not. an thats your plan move on. all they want is the ride

[GrowABrainstem]

Quit pressuring men into marriage and having children. Just live. Then they will want you forever. See how easy it is? It's really not that hard.

[ViciousSK]

As a woman, somehow, I think I've missed the natural calling to have kids... never had it. It seems the children issue is a deal-breaker for a long-term relationship more often than not. It sucks.

The "myth" of wasting time after a long-term relationship comes from it actually never going anywhere. It feels wasted if spending years with a person amounts to... hell, being alone.

[vfIskullangel]

I'm growing old alone and I don't care.

[Marikafan]

Any man who says that women who wants kids because she's a whore should have been aborted by his mother

[firiachan]

I am 32, and I don't want children. It's hard for me to find a man who wants a good relationship, but doesn't want children. They usually change their mind. But really, I just want someone I like being around. I'm not thinking about a year down the road. Just next week!

[p1gta1p]

@firiachan I'm a childfree man. I personally think men who want to be fathers are weak. They don't know how dangerous parenting is.

[fuckyouall01]

no more kids to suffer in this world!! plz

[nobleheight]

Pets are so much better than kids. You can euthanized them if you change your mind.

[yourmajezty]

these people dont have a clue,lol. wtf?

[lvergara87]

i don't want to have kids either... but i do think this is an important subject to talk about, because i used to date this guy older than me who wanted to marry and have kids, and that scared the shit out of me, cause i felt bad to give him hope when he could go on and find another woman looking for the same he wants

[slkitty777]

I also do not want kids!

[sassy304]

I'm a woman who does not want kids.Yes,we exist.

[sabdow]

@sassy304 -- You're a selfish bastard. What did your parents have sex for? For you to grow up, develop, and just stop right there? Enjoy your money-greedy lifestyle you selfish bitch.

[Zain844]

@sabdow

People have children for selfish reasons to and Isn't having children a choice? The world is full of bad parents Plenty of people had kids who probably shouldnt have

[sabdow]

@Zain844 -- Lol people have children for selfish reasons? Clearly not if having a child means taking care of them and devoting 80% of your life to the development of their life. It's the most natural thing you can do.

[Zain844]

@sabdow I knew a woman who lied about birth control to her boyfriend and got herself pregnant so that it would cement the relationship she had with her boyfriend She believed that if she got pregnant it would much harder for him to walk out on her. Isn't this a selfish reason to have a child? How about people who have children and then sell them into slavery? Or People who have children only to molest them or abuse them?

[Zain844]

@sabdow As for it being "natural" Just because something comes natural to us doesn't mean we HAVE to do it It's natural for humans expel waste, that doesn't mean we can just piss and shit wherever we want, We have bathrooms for a reason. It's natural for men to have sex and spread their seed but a man can't just force himself onto a woman because that's rape and rape is illegal. Not everyone has to have kids because not everyone has the resources or is fit to look after a child.

[sabdow]

@Zain844 -- Now you've taken it out of context. Shitting on the floor? Raping women? That wasn't accepted in society 2000 years ago and it's not accepted today. Anyway back to the real point

[Zain844]

@sabdow Actually it's perfectly within context you just fail to see the point or you just don't want to. Humans are not animals we are logical thinking beings capable of reason and complex thought. and in human society doing what's natural isn't always  in our best interest.

You could the "its the most natural thing you can do" argument to justify ANYTHING from unwanted children, to public urination, to rape.

[Zain844]

@sabdow

i also find it funny how you never even tried to refute any of my other points.

[cheeseymold]

@sassy304

Can I date you? lol

[sassy304]

@cheeseymold Sure lol

[gragona]

I'm a woman and I can't fucking stand kids!!! Sorry guys, I'm taken. lol

[genay33]

Me too and people give me hell about it. I really do not want kids.

[sabdow]

@gragona -- I think you meant to say "Men can't stand me so I hate kids as an excuse!"

[gragona]

@sabdow Actually no, that's not what I meant. I'm engaged to a very sexy man who also doesn't want kids. Projecting much?

[Rachou321]

Oh my god i was just watching videos randomly when I saw your, and I have to say thank you a lot.

What you say is surely going to help me in my future relationships.

Tkans guys, and keep up the good work !

[VictoriaVendetta]

.....I'm a woman and I fucking hate kids.....  Little shits....

[p1gta1p]

I love you for saying that. Marry me!

[cousindan1]

fuck you!

[meloearth]

I wouldn't put it that aggressively, but I second you. I think it's a huge burden people put themselves under, and many do just because it's a "tradition". I cannot fathom how people can have kids around 24-7. They are so tiring, noisy, demanding, etc. Plus, the world has a serious overpopulation problem.

[sabdow]

@VictoriaVendetta -- Don't be angry at the world that no man wants to take you seriously.

[Rugiz1]

Visit my video, it is not fake, it is working but you need to do as it says to make money of it!

sharing is caring <3

[HickInTheHills]

in the 1940s every Sunday you were drugged to church, you obeyed your parents unless you were beaten if weren't, If you swore, you were pulled to the bathroom and got your mouth washed out with soap. You were beaten to a point that you had to come home on time or else, and you was raised very very strict.

despite all the bad this was, those people that took this crap grew up to be great people.

Nowadays where this is illegal, people today are very immoral.

[branx55555]

hey buddy but those sideburns and make a tupey out of it for ur bald spot, maybe u will atleast look smart

[cyqin]

what do u guys think are important in relationships??

[akinf22]

certainly not children

[marah777]

i never wont children I want pets are more beauty !!

[akinf22]

Who are these fucking people, have they ever met the Childfree! -- You might change you mind? Biggest fucking Bingo ever!

[p1gta1p]

Yeah, I hate the bingos these breeders play.

[ncfwhitetigress]

But it's true - anyone can change their mind. I support the right of the child-free to sterilize themselves, as long as they don't try to sue the doctor later if they change their mind. And this HAS happened, though I'm sure most child-free make the decision and stick to it like responsible people.

[akinf22]

yes but when people tell u that on a daily basis it is very condescending. Nobody enjoys having their life decisions second guessed by strangers. Imagine an important decision that you've spent a lot of time thinking about and then some stranger coming along and patronizing you with 'you might change you're mind'. No one says this to people who want kids, so why throw it in the faces of those who don't?

[ncfwhitetigress]

I think this man has no business talking to women who mention kids so soon. Clearly, he's not compatible with them, yet he's looking for advice to be able to keep talking to them. Dan and Jen are just telling it like it is. Either he can change his attitude, or go talk to child-free women.

[akinf22]

Oh how understanding of u. Are u supposed to be able to tell at first sight whether someone wants kids or not? No he's looking for advice about how to cope with the fact that many women seem to want kids or use the idea to judge men. Note he says i do not lie about no wanting them. 'change his attitude'. WHY? Maybe the women should consider that a man is more than his ability to have babies.

[akinf22]

Also note that there are women who say they don't want kids to get the relationship on the pretense that the other partner will change his mind.

[ncfwhitetigress]

I always disagree with dishonesty in an intimate relationship. Personally, I think the best thing the guy could do would be to respond with, "Well, I don't want to have kids, but I am interested in a long-term, committed relationship with a woman without children." That's the honest answer, and it doesn't just end the conversation right there, unless the woman is adamant that she does want kids. If she is, the conversation SHOULD end because the two are incompatible.

[akinf22]

It not the guy that is at fault. The advice they are giving him is that he shouldn't allow this issue to matter, that he should just get with someone and see how it goes. They don't really address the fact that he doesn't want kids except to say he might change his mind. If u listen he's talking about women in general not just women the out rightly say they do.

[akinf22]

the guy it would seem is likely is telling them he doesn't want kids but wants a relationship. Go back and listen to whats being said.

[akinf22]

Knowing childfree singles and couples its not as simple as ticking boxes. Most of the couples met in ordinary situations with neither knowing the others stance. Others said at the beginning they didn't want kids then one springs on the other several years later that they do and they break up. Its luck and trust not trawling dating websites for ticked boxes.

[p1gta1p]

I hate bitches like that. They change their minds on after getting married.

I hate women who think that having children will make everything better. It's not.

[Internetgangstakilla]

it really wont lmao im sorry but at the time we dont wanna talk about havin kids

[ncfwhitetigress]

Of course a man is more than his ability to have kids, but if a single woman wants kids naturally she'll be looking for a man who also wants them or is at least open to the idea. I've been using this dating website and I make sure to only contact guys who say they are either open/undecided or decided that they do want kids on their profiles. I respect the fact that he does not lie, but if he gets in a relationship with a woman who wants kids he's either going to have to change her mind or his.

[realsamwise]

That would in fact be the smart thing to do. If you feel that way get fixed, Take the issue right off the table. No talk, no "he might change", no dribble. People both men and women, need to take some unilateral measures and have done with it. The hours and hours of grief you will save later is hard to measure. I would go further and fix little boys at birth make then reverse it later if they wanted kids. So much would be saved on b-control and unwanted unplanned kids

[ncfwhitetigress]

I might wait until early preadolescence, if such a procedure exists. And yeah, it would save lots of unplanned pregnancies and grief.

[Valientlink]

ughh.... me neither, don't want any. But I'm 15, either way, still.

[yharyhar8]

this is the most stupid, confusing advice ive ever heard. if you are sure you dont want kids, you should NOT get involved with someone who does unless you want a whole lot of grief. You wait til you find someone who ALSO doesnt want kids, and if they change their minds later so be it.

[jlgtuesday]

Absolutely NOT!

[HirsutePant]

Why do you think it's his responsibility to change his mind later? You offered absolutely no advice regarding how to talk to a woman about not having kids who is convinced.

[Marikafan]

A woman who WANTS kids (and there's ALOT of them) is NOT going to CHANGE her mind...its HER LIFE..its HER PEROGATIVE

IF you don't want to have kids then get a prostitute...or someone of your LIKEMIND

[HirsutePant]

Didn't mean to offend you, maybe I phrased it wrong. Why is it unrealistic to want to talk to a woman about kids? I just find it somewhat annoying that they brushed off the question by saying the viewer shouldn't rule anything out. He asked them a question and they were somewhat dismissive. In the same way they said the man shouldn't rule anything out, neither should the woman.

[p1gta1p]

A woman wants kids because she's a whore!

[amangne12]

they did too jusat listen to the end they said that a man is supposed to say not at this point instead of saying i will never want kids because unless you can see the future it might be a lie. and you shouldn't lie in a relatonship

[kiwitoothpaste]

I knew they were going to saw some "but u might change you're miiiind" bullshit.

[kiwitoothpaste]

*say

[p1gta1p]

Yeah, breeders tell me that all the time.

[kiwitoothpaste]

noooooooooooo

[muppetspuppets]

bringing a child in the world is extremely selfish. There are so many children who don't have homes.

[Marikafan]

does that mean your parents were "extremely selfish" for bringing you into the world?

[muppetspuppets]

yes. But more so in today's time.

[marah777]

is not true i dont want kids and dont want marry and Im a woman

[Marikafan]

Then date the guy who doesn't want kids:)

He's available:)

[alberthadonlyone]

thers only one rule you can always use: never use always or never^^

[p1gta1p]

I don't think I ever want to get married. Too many women want children. Those breeder girls are very unattractive.

There should be more childfree women.

[jadoredashboard]

just because you want to have kids doesn't mean you'll have a million.

and you never know till you try. that goes with all things in life.

[lanaboro]

Dude, leave a normal girl alone please. And go look for a psycho who should be fixed for the mental health reason. You will get enough drama in your life and no kids (and responsibilites whatsoever).

Girls, you have to be strong and insist on what you want.

They want to get laid - let them spend $200 for a prostitute.

[dentman06]

Are you serious? A man who doesn't want kids just wants to get laid? How pathetic. Second, "psycho who should get fixed for mental health reasons"??? Obviously YOU are the one with the issues if you can't respect one's decision to not have children. As for responsibility, with your logic, a man cannot know or have responsibility unless they have kids! yeah right. You've got issues. Go post your propaganda elsewhere.

[Marikafan]

EXACTLY....just go to the "intimate encounters" on Lavalife

[realsamwise]

nahum23 Is bang on. Women only are interested in men RE having and raising kids. His options too often will be to date women too old to have kids or get fixed, lie about it and pretend to like kids. Both options suck

[realsamwise]

People say men don't want to commit and that they are very cincerned about what a woman looks like. Find a women who wants no kinds in any context and she can almost be a troll and guys will line up to marry her. For a man the single major downside of a long term relationship is the likelyhood that she will demand to have kids at some point in some contex. Remove that cost and men will run through fire to commit to her if they care about her and find her even remotley attractive.

[realsamwise]

Even though you don't want to give birth you want kids. When a man finds a women he wants he has everything he wants from day one. Kids in any context are a destraction from that. They take away from his time with his woman, takes her attention from him, cost a lot of money and make it hard to do things he likes to do. For him they have no, zero, nada advantages. If he agrees to have any, in any context it will be 100% to make her happy, get her to stay or attract her in the first place.

[realsamwise]

I don't know where you live. Where I live a couple can't adopt unless they are married

[realsamwise]

When a man says he dosent "want kids" he means he dosen't want to be around, be responsible or generally put up with the hassle of kids.

[ShakaVahn]

<-- is a woman who doesn't want kids. :)

[realsamwise]

"women marry to have a family." I wonder...are you married?

[ShakaVahn]

No, and I don't want to be married. My mate and I (he's male) are adopting, and we wont be getting married. We're not even religious anyways. The only good reason anyone should get married, would be for the benefits. If there were no benefits to Marriage, a lot more people wouldn't be doing it.

[realsamwise]

If you don't want kids why are you adopting? I don't think you can plan on adopting and say you don't wants kids.

[ShakaVahn]

Clearly, that was not what I had meant. I do not want to give birth to any kids of my own. I'm not a fan of babies, would rather adopt older children who have a harder time finding homes than babies do. So yea, I don't want kids, of my own. :)

[realsamwise]

You people are nuts! Don't get absolute? No long term? Sort term is ok? Why marry at all?If you don't want to be together forever don't marry and if you don't want kids be up front. Better yet get sterilized and take the issue right off the table. Any room for doubt will leave you open for endless nagging and moaning about bio-logical clocks. If she doesn't care enough about you to marry you even though it means she will never have kids then you don't need her anyway.

[mysticnova89]

Yeah and thats how you get a divorce in twenty years when you could have prevented it from the very beggining. fucking idiots

[realsamwise]

I agree. Pretending to want kids or pretending there is a chance that you might is pointless. It's a ploy that older and less attractive men use to get women. No man wants kids. If he tolerates them its to make her happy.

[yharyhar8]

really? NO man wants kids? hmm, that means that every man u see whos a father is living a lie?

[realsamwise]

What you are seeing is a man who loves/needs his wife more then he dislikes having kids. As the kids get older and more demanding if his need/desire for her dosen't ...well thats called a mid-life crisis

[neyeseek]

i want kids just as much as a want a wife some day... i want 3 kids and once there grown up like 15+ all of them i want to adopt a down syndrome baby... i want kids way bad and im a dude...

[nahum23]

I promise and swear on my entire existance that i will never have childern because children are extremely annoying when they keep running around in the house, crying alot, having tantrums and most of all" way to much responsibility. Since i don't want any childern getting a girlfriend is impossible for me. I really hate the life cycle. I don't have the patience to take care of children. I really hate children.

[yourtango]

I wish this video were better produced because it's a great topic.

[realsamwise]

I wish the advice didn't suck so much

[karry299]

Thats okay if you dont want kids.

Wait till you and your partner is 40 and have careers and money and no health to have your first and only sick child. Help the white race to die out.

[pinksugr05]

Who said he was white? And why would it matter? Reconsider.

[ilovenbcnews]

the same could be said do men want kids?? Pregnancy is a volunteer position.

[realsamwise]

The answer is a clear no. Men marry to have a wife, women marry to have a family. Men really just need to understand how far women will go to get their way on this and go one step further...first

[ilovenbcnews]

what about those women though, who take a used condom and a baster and shoot the sperm back into their vagina , and get pregnant without the man ever knowing it, until its to late? In my mind they just volunteered in that case, the guy had no say in the matter.

[realsamwise]

Men really just need to understand how far women will go to get their way on this and go one step further...first