Added: 5 months ago
From: TheAtheistExperience
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  • Just lmao!

  • great apes are monkeys...but monkeys aren't great apes

  • "YOU TELLIN' ME, A HIGHLY EVOLVED BEIN'!"

    What!? Arguing against evolution... calls himself evolved.

    The fuck. I really hope he was a troll.

  • Ironically he picked Orangutang as an example. They are called that because it is two Indonesian words combined. Orang which means person, and hutan which means forest. Person of the forest. Not that it matters, just saying.

  • It would be insulting to the monkey to call him one, i would call him a maggot or something.

  • Ummm...humans DO scratch there balls and swat at flies....,

  • This guy sounds exactly like the parody callers in the GTA Talk radio stations

  • “You’re the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish squirrel, congratulations!”

  • It's a good thing that the show doesn't have a live audience. I'm guessing that if this caller was in a live audience, he'd fling his poo at Matt and Jeff, thereby nullifying his own argument.

  • Technically, yes we are monkeys.

    We are - Humans, apes, monkeys, primates, mammals, vertebrates and animals, all of them - just at different levels. But some people [fundies] tend to be earthworms, or atleast have the IQ of one.

  • he may not be a monkey, but he sure sounds like one

  • Jeff dee looks and sounds so young here. :D and that caller cracked me up.

  • ash ketchum evolved from a MANKEY

    ash- dont you mean monkey?

    pokedex-noooo

  • Why would that caller,who is most likely a creationist......why would he use the term "highly EVOLVED being"????????

  • whatc?v=Tapt3XHJO8E&feature=re­lated  <----- goto if u want to laugh even more

  • How dare you say I came from a monkey. I was made from dirt. My Muslim friend was made from a blood clot. You don't even want to know where my Hindu friend came from, sumthin bout a 9 arm girl and a cow...wheeeew. Now my momma was born atheist and came from My papa and granny but she was saved by Jesus and by virtue came from a rib of a man made from dirt.

  • orangutangs aren't even monkies, they are great apes too

  • no we're not monkeys we're great apes

  • @MsOneiroi77

    - "no we're not monkeys we're great apes"

    "Monkey" is an English word. In other languages monkeys and apes are all called "apes", so making that difference is a bit arbitrary. We are closer related to chimps than we are to gorillas and orangutans, which split from our branch of the evolutionary tree much earlier, so technically we are just another kind of monkey.

  • @TheAtheistExperience true but monkeys are far more primitive than great apes. They have physiology closer to cats and dogs its not arbitrary. I'd prefer the term primate and we are great ape primates. When creationists use monkey they try to use an example of the extreme end of another primate group showing animals like lemurs that are the more primitive to our branch and try to debunk evolution. Monkey has other negative connotations in English.

  • @TheAtheistExperience Nah apes does not have a tail while monkeys do . :D

  • @hldemi - "Nah apes does not have a tail while monkeys do . :D"

    Nah, there are also tailless monkeys. Darwin even wanted to title his famous book "You're a Fucking Monkey, Monkey" (or so I have heard). Check out AronRa's video "Turns out we DID come from monkeys!"

    /watch?v=4A-dMqEbSk8

  • @TheAtheistExperience Agreed. The Hive mother of education Wiki says : In summary, there are three common uses of the term "ape": non-biologists may not distinguish between "monkeys" and "apes", or may use "ape" for any tailless monkey or nonhuman hominoid, whereas biologists traditionally used the term "ape" for all non-human hominoids as shown above. Or if human are included than the others are referred to as "nonhuman apes". Anyway thx for the video , always pleasure to listen to AronRa...

  • @hldemi the thing is we're all mammals as well but the problem with the label of monkey is that creationists use extreme examples far away from our group in their literature to make the theory of evolution to look ridiculous. The gullible faithful in the bible belt believe we could never have been descended from a monkey because they look so different to us and other great apes. That's the problem its a war of words and how they can twist them.

  • @MsOneiroi77 I agree with you on this . Anyway , let them twist it. Its all they can do :D

  • Comment removed

  • "You telling me, a highly evolved being that I came from a munkey?" I almost cried when he said that

  • Did jesus have two daddies?

  • "I'm not convinced you are a highly evolved being." ahahahhaaha

  • Not scratching your balls all day OR picking your ass?!?! YOU SIR ARE DEAD TO ME!!!

  • @HuyerPercussive he actually contradicted himself. If he's highly evolved, then he basically confirmed a belief in evolution. He's not a monkey but his ancestors were.

    I can't stop listening to this guy's drivel. Whether a troll or a retarded hick, he's a riot.

  • when he called himself a "highly evolved being," i started cracking UP!!!

    hahahahaha

  • that guy is a retard. of course we aren't monkeys. we evolved from a common ancestor though. there's a big difference.

  • Holy crap...I'm going to keep telling myself it was fake but sadly I know people like him....I hate living in Alabama...

  • A monkey would be happy to disown this guy.

  • sounds like the "hard as nails" ministry guy

  • "You ever seen a monkey up close?"

    "A monkey?"

    "Like an orangutan"

    Because orangutans are monkeys now.

  • @Orthrus You say that about orangutans in Ankh-Morpork, you'd get your head twisted off. XD There's natural selection for you.

  • God made Adam first? Did Adam have nipples?

  • @whanethewhip lol, for that matter, did he have a belly button?

  • @Thelggy457

    Can you tell me who makes chewing tobacco? And if you can show me proof, the simple andwer god did wont be accepted

  • watch?v=DI9ImScQGAo&feature=re­lated

    This was the first thing the caller reminded me of.

  • @westside1love Right?!?

    "I ain't no monkey, dammit!"

    I saw a bumper-sticker yesterday that had a cross and the statement: "Don't let evolution make a monkey out of you." - it really made my "inner monkey" sad.

  • Have you evah seen a sock monkey up close befoh!

  • I don't think this guy ever made it past 3rd grade, and was either home schooled or went to a small backward 3 room school without properly educated teachers. I doubt very much if he can read more than his own name and a few simple children's books. He's not worth arguing with.

  • im not so worried about my ancestors being a monkey.

    what worries me is the fact that a male has nipples.

    i can stand the fact that i was a monkey once , but ... those nipples worry me.

    if ADAM was the first human ,it makes me wonder what the idea with the nipples was.

    :)

  • @ImmortalUniverse - Hmmmm.... hmmmm.... Oh! Adam didn't have nipples until after he sinned. Sin changed everything!

  • I actually don't think he was fake, I think he was probably just drunk. :P

  • His was joking

  • Poe.

  • If he were a real creationist he wouldn't have described himself as "evolved". I call Poe.

  • Hahaha highly evolved being he says. Haha

  • LOL, we found a missing link!

  • Dungleaus, Lord of the Orangs.

  • i dont know if that was a troll, but i lmao... "im not a monkey!" ROFLMFAO

  • i think dude was trollin

  • I watched this at first and didn't have a reaction. Then about 30 seconds into the next video I picture an orangutan crawling OUT OF FIRE and I am roffling.

  • I'm about 40% convinced that half the callers are actually atheists calling in to make christians look like imbeciles.

  • @SkallagrimNeinnskegg And you have to admit that you take that on faith. Ironic, isn't it?

  • @SkallagrimNeinnskegg the obvious christians that call in make your conclusion void anyway, because they are just as ignorant and uneducated.

  • That guy was just trolling, damn funny though

  • An Orangutan crawling out of fire...

  • 0:25 Hahaha, "I'm not convinced you are a highly evolved being" Made my day

  • hahah '' I am not a monkey'' make me think of Mr garrison from south park.

  • @DeathMetalMorty Oh my Science! Me too!

  • check out Anita Moorjani's story...it will prove all atheists wrong!

    AnitaMoojani (dot) com

    It is all completely medically verifiable. I dare any atheist to prove her story to be a hoax.

  • "I'm not scratchin my balls and pickin my ass!"

    Sure you are. You're a southern banjo hick.

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA­AA. I want to take drugs with that redneck.

  • crikey that made me laugh. y'alll...

  • Hahahaha this show is hilarious! I love listening to all of the bullshit every religious person has to say! :D

  • Your telling me, a highly evolved being? I wonder what he meant by highly evolved if he doesn't accept evolution.

  • My children will not ever say "Y'all".... and that will be a small victory for evolution.

    The Texan dialect would be charming if it wasn't constantly dragged trough the mud by willfully ignorant misanthropes.

  • Oh you can just tell Matt wants to reply to all the "I'm not scratching my balls all day etc" comments with a "I think you do."

  • Y'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll­l

  • Jesus, if he did exist , was also a product of evolution...

  • we were from evolution maybe not from monkeys but what ever we came from species would go extinct and ours would have slowly progressed

  • @wingman662 Mayhaps you should educate yourself on cladistics.

    youtube.com/watch?v=eWUNk3228n­k

  • He called himself a highly evolved being..hahahahahaha! So funny! Hahahaha. The good lord JC....hahahahahahaha!

  • AA: "Hey, Joe-Bob, you're thru to the Atheist Experience, whatya got for us?

    Joe-Bob: Click grunt grunt click click ugg grunt ugg click grunt ...

  • The caller demonstrates that evolution can go horribly wrong at times.

  • Fucking wow. These people are out there.

  • I'm sorry, but I call Poe's Law.

  • that's a prank call

  • Pfff,what's the big deal?.. Every time I see a monkey it's crawling out a fire.

  • Is it my imagination or has anyone else noticed that most the christians who call into this program sound like they got their drunk on before calling the show?

  • *line opens*

    Oook oook oook. Oook! Oook, yall.

    *line closes*

  • This is a poe. And a particularly crap one.

  • tht guys a monkey lol

  • Evolution is a FACT. Get over it.

  • Who gave that redneck a telephone and showed him how to use it?

  • Evolved to have a mullet!

  • Orangutans are apes not monkeys, and i recently had a painful reminder that evolution is real. I recently had my wisdom teeth pulled out, my dentist told me that millions of years ago our ancestors had more teeth which they used to chew plant material which was our main diet. As our jaws got smaller because of diet change, we got less teeth, however the gene for making those extra teeth is still there and some people get wisdom tooth which can be very painful and have to be removed sometimes.

  • I wanna see an orangutan crawling out of fire.

  • In a few million years his offspring may evol to monkies if they are lucky

  • One thing I learned from this show: Whenever a caller says "y'all", you're about to hear some really stupid shit.

  • @Akira625 lol. That's the truth right there man.

  • @Akira625 hahahaha so damn true, it is in Texas so what do you expect ?

  • @Akira625 So true. I once ived in Tennessee. Lots of stupid people that say yall all over that place.

  • @Akira625 Same as when people say they are a highly evolved 'bean' or a human 'bean'.

  • @Akira625 LOL Thank you!

  • One thing I learned from this show is: Whenever a caller says "y'all", prepare to hear some really stupid shit.

  • @BionicDance

    Did you get this? Ô.Ô

  • wow talking monkey.

  • "I am not a monkey!" Fuck yes you are! (sorry for all the monkeys out there)

  • Comment removed

  • wow fucking awesome

  • lol... epic

  • #1, Orangutans are Apes, not Monkeys.

    #2, most primates are scared of fire, for good reason, and certainly wouldn't be "crawling out" of fire.

    #3, Being an Ancient Hebrew married couple, Mary and Joseph had LOTS of kids. Jesus was the only one who was supposedly the son of God.

    Not only did the Hebrews equate children with success/blessings, but there were OT rules AGAINST Mary turning Joselph down for sex. Oh, and the Bible mentions his brothers.

  • @dechha1981 Cladistically speaking, you can't be an ape without also being a monkey. Check out AronRa's "Turns out we DID come from monkeys!" for more.

  • @dechha1981 A woman could turn down sex nd preserve her virginity as sacrifice to God. 2. I don't take the bible literally Jesus had bros and sisters... if He did 1 Why did he leave his mom in the care of a non relative. 2 He supposedly had bros and sisters.... there would be neices and nephews some trace of his family would have lived on even to this

  • @dechha1981 there would be some evidence to this day. 4 the term brother and sister was very loosley used then. abraham and lot referred to as brothers but we know they aren't literally bros. joseph hasd bros and sisters who gave christ cousin. Mary was concecrated to God in the temple. the "other mary " in the bible was not lierally christ's mom's sister... but a female relative probbly sister in law of hers. If you can show proof of progeny of Jesus bros and sister i'll believe you

  • @dechha1981 bible obviously is not meant to t be literal

  • @casablanca4381

    Oh don't give me that "Interperetation" bullshit. Either the Bible says what it says or it doesn't.

  • @dechha1981 technically as the descendants of monkeys were still monkeys. Apes are just a subset of monkeys, like snakes are to lizards.

    I've actually stopped correcting Christians when they say this. lol

  • @dechha1981 Apes are monkeys.

  • @fedos No they are not.

  • @fedos

    No. we're all PRIMATES, but monkeys have tails. Apes don't.

  • @dechha1981 A) Apes do have tails, they're just vestigial; B) Apes are monkeys due to taxonomy.

  • @Macrochenia No they're.. ah fuck it. I've got better idiots to debate than you.

  • @dechha1981 Namecalling accomplishes nothing. You've already shown loud and clear that you don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about.

  • @Macrochenia And being a crybaby does?

  • @dechha1981 So are you saying the barabary macaque is an ape? When a human baby is born with a tail, is it now a monkey instead of an ape? Even without such examples, your reasoning would mean that humans aren't apes because we lack a full body covering of hair.

  • @dechha1981

    - "@fedos No. we're all PRIMATES, but monkeys have tails. Apes don't."

    I think that fedos watched AronRa's video "Turns our we DID come from monkeys!", in which he explained that all apes are actually monkeys.

    The distinction between monkeys and apes is rather useless though, because that distinction is only made in languages like English. In other languages there is no special word for monkeys, because in some countries they are all called apes (even though they're all monkeys).

  • @fedos Apes are not Monkeys, apes are apes.

  • @fedos Apes are not monkeys, just like Homo Sapiens are not Monkeys, but Humans (Homo Sapiens), Monkeys and Apes are all primates. Please correct me if I am wrong.

  • @sandcut1 Humans are apes and apes are monkeys. This is beautifully explained by AronRa in his video "Turns out we DID come from monkeys!" You can find it at this link: youtube.com/watch?v=4A-dMqEbSk­8

  • @fedos You are wrong, Humans are primates, look it up.

  • @sandcut1 I never said that humans aren't primates.

    The order Primates consists of prosimians and simians. Simians are monkeys (including humans and apes). Prosimians are all non-monkey species, including lemurs and tarsiers (although tarsiers is a paraphyletic group).

    Please watch the video that I referenced.

  • @fedos You said humans are monkeys, and I said, no we are primates, Humans, monkeys and apes evolved from a common ancestor. A monkey is a monkey, a human are homo Sapiens, Homo Sapiens are not monkeys or apes.

  • @sandcut1 You haven't watched the video that two of us have both referenced on this issue. It explains cladistics and it explains that since apes are descended from monkeys that means that apes -are- monkeys. Furthermore, when I say "humans are monkeys", I don't mean "humans are not primates" because MONKEYS ARE PRIMATES! Maybe it's set theory that needs to be explained.

    People seem to think "monkeys are monkeys, apes are apes" is a valid argument. It's not, it's argument ad nauseam.

  • @fedos Well i don't agree with you, bye.

  • @sandcut1 Ya I watched the video by aronra, and it turn out we descended from monkeys and apes, but we are not monkeys, just like monkeys are not humans, do you understand now.

  • @dechha1981

    "Mary and Joseph had LOTS of kids. Jesus was the only one who was supposedly the son of God"

    This is seriously the worst argument I've ever heard against Jesus' divinity. Being born to Mary and Joseph was not the only requirement to being the Messiah.

  • @THEEVANTHETOON

    There's probably a word for the kind of falacy you just used but I'm not aware of ehat the word is.

    Basically, you just complained that a point I just made did not adress a point that I was neither adressing nor was making.

    He claimed that Jesus was the ONLY child of Joseph and Mary, and THAT is what I was adressing you dickhead.

  • @dechha1981 It's pretty close to a Strawman, claiming your argument is different than it is, but it's not exactly... i think he might have invented a whole new one.

    Shall we call it the, "Theevanthetoon fallacy"?

  • @dechha1981 ya but wud u wona fuck a jewish wife lol

  • He denies that he evolved from monkeys.

    I'll meet him half way and agree that he did not evolve beyond the intelligence of a monkey.

  • @PenthouseDiaries Illogical and unnecissary. (-1)

  • That caller was just being a goof.

  • Yeah, he's an awesome representative for Christians. Thanks bud, we're all so proud of you.

    

  • TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO­OOOOOOOOLL

  • I love how he called Jesus "JC". Lol awesome.

  • This guy WAS correct when he said he's not a monkey. Because clearly he's the product of the evolution of the ASS! Gimme some more DRAWL with that too.

  • Typical. No understanding of Evolution & completely ignoring time. "They" even go on to call us Humans advanced because we have cars, lights, computers & books. Though, neither their God nor Jesus nor Allah EVER had ANY of these advancements. But, "they" still worship those moronic animals & curse Humanity to eternal damnation.

    Someday, "they" might all realize we tried it God's way & now we've tried it Jesus' way. Well, ALL failed & "they" still claim it's everyone else's fault & not God's.

  • I think this guy IS scratching his balls and picking his ass all day.

  • No, you are not a monkey. Your distant cousin is a monkey.

  • @manonthemount would you say we are not mamals? that our even more distant cousins were mamals but we are not? Sorry, but we are : Animals-Vertibrates-Mamals-Pri­mates-Monkeys-Apes-Humans. Our ancestors existed in all these stages for us to finally become Human.

  • @jmdnarri No, monkeys and apes are different groups of primates. We're apes.

  • @Saerain Sorry you are a little behind the science, Its now understood that the ancestors of all Apes were infact a branch of Monkeys, meaning that our ancestors once would have been categorized as Monkeys. So we come from Monkeys, just as we come from Mamals, Vertibrates, and Animals. Aronra made a great summary of this concept. Its called, "Turns out we did come from monkeys"

  • @jmdnarri No, I'm aware of that, but you're conflating descent with classification. We also came from reptiles, fish, and amoeba, but we are not currently these things. Apes are not a category of fish.

  • @Saerain sorry, but you are incorrect again, we shared ancestors with what became fish, reptiles, and even rats, but those types of animals developed their defining traits after we split. Our direct ancestors were classified as Monkeys. Your cousin could be born in Austraila, making him "Australian" and you not, but you can't call your Grandfather a Mexican and then say you have no Mexican heritage.

  • @manonthemount And judging by the caller's intelligence, it may also be his wife and sister.

  • unless you christians start to study science like the rest of us , then maybe we have a change of speeding up things. .

  • @ImmortalUniverse Start accepting science rather. Everyone isn´t interested in the nitty gritty of science, me for one.

  • @antibulletdodger101

    then your a moron who likes other people to think for you.

    thats ok , we think for you.

  • @ImmortalUniverse Do you study history, engineering, medicine and arts? No? that´s OK, we´ll think for you. (retard)

  • @antibulletdodger101

    its not about that .

    but yeak im a engineer .

    but when a christian says the world is 6000 year old or makes claims about intelligent design and stuff .

    then you have missed the simple basics of science.

    you obviously wanna play stupid. but you knew what i ment.

  • @ImmortalUniverse Yes, it is about just that. You call out someone not interested in science or not in the field of science as a non-thinking person and draw parallelles to an unsceptical mind. Being a sceptic has nothing at all to do with what field of work you´re in. For you not to grasp this on typing tells me you´re an idiot and I doubt you´re even close to the field of science. And and engineer for that matter; so you´re not a biologist? Then let them think for you about evolution.

  • @antibulletdodger101

    no im not a biologist, so what?

    i didnt call someone out ,i was speaking in general to the people who believe this world is 6000 year old or deny evolution.

    you dildo.

    and its not being sceptic , its being ignorent and denying reality on what is already a fact and proven by experts on the field.

    with "let us think for you" i ment the people who actually study science.

    and people who make grazy claims , should also show hard evidence.

  • @ImmortalUniverse You´re incomprehensible and are unable to follow a red line in argumentation. Goodbye.

  • @antibulletdodger101

    yeah whatever, keep saying that to yourself.

    bye

  • A short but hilarious call. Wonder if the guy was a troll. Or maybe he is a "real Christian", but uses the religion as a front for being vulgar and picking a bone with others. "I don't scratch my balls all day...I don't pick my ass, I'm a human being by the grace of God." LOOOL

  • hillbillies are funny. highly evolved indeed.