"Orphan" Movie Review - Pick of the week from the Schmoes!!

[GTYmassive]

Hey my name is Esther okay and fyi i am 18 yrs old. i like my name by the way great review.

[flubno]

I thought the same thing. Orphans all ready have it bad. This makes adopting them look scary. Being a orphan is all ready messed up. It can put the zap on a kids head. It's not uncommon for them to have emotional problems ( not as bad a s ester). Kinda fucked to make an exaggerated movie out of it.

[mymovievideos]

I didn't understand your review first you say it was good and then you began to make fun of it

[TheLipgloss02]

aahahha ur guys r funny!

[Pooky1991]

This movie was off the hook! It took me completely by surprise because usually all horror films are the same s*** to me, but this actually had me scared. The parents in this movie...god I hated both of them. The father was stupid and the mother didn't heed a damn thing her kids were saying. The kids knew something was F***ed up with Ester but the parents didn't put two and two (except mother)together until it was too late. Best movie I've seen all year along with Drag Me to Hell.

[shannoncleveland]

Esther not 14 in the movie she's like 9

[shanklon04]

Honestly, this movie is very good, but never overtake the film "The Exorcist".

[taylorxfirby]

i love this movie and my favourite part is when she trys to kill jimmy bennett twice its so sudden and her secret i jumped off my chair going no no ur kidding no way very good movie

[MysticRaven1000]

Nice review! rated 5 stars. great work

[Keith2800]

Best Orphan review on the site, great job guys. Im loving the energy

[GlobberThree000]

Reminds me of The Omen

[YKnowledge86]

Esther is one of Angelina Jolie's kids

[prumott08]

joshua was better in my opinion

[SeanConnery9000]

To quote Dr.Cox on SCRUBS: "You are wrong wrong wrong. YOU ARE WRONG!"

[PrueStar]

Funny review, glad you made it as you liked it, most reviewers make a review for a film and end up just teasing it, so thanks for respecting this great film.

[schmoesknow]

No problem at all, like I said in the opening, I wanted to hate this film but it was really well made and a pleasant surprise.

[kinzeUK]

@schmoesknow Completely agree watched it recently

[katie101wow]

was her secret that she was 30 well in her 30s

[extraordinarystar979]

I love the movie "Orphan"! And to be honest I like the way Esther dressed, she dressed like a proper lady. Not saying that she acted like a lady at all!

[PrueStar]

to extrairdubartstar979 I like her clothes too, my favorite is her green outfit, love her ribbons in her hair and on 0:56 I LOVE that hat, looks a beret' :D this movie was AWESOME

[chrispcock]

myt check this out u guys havent been wrong on any review yet keep it up dudes

[astronaut529]

i gave up on horror i've seen enough really another creppy kid film

when you watch one its like oh hi head fell off oh no the naked bimbo got raped the little bitch had it comin' and if you wern't a dipshit your head would still be on

[07liberian]

The Brother Got Owned In The Hospital Room. LOL

[Vysetron]

Gotta say, the contrast between the bits of the trailer and the humor of the review really made it for me. Great job on this.

[paint9er]

you guys are very funny

[schmoesknow]

Thank you painter, glad you enjoyed the review and happy to have you as a subscriber!

[RunescapePkKing12]

I absolutely loved this movie. Best horror film I have ever seen. It actually had a story to it, just not random killing. 5/5 to an amazing movie. The child actors were superb.

[doodlerman]

i agree, but i thought that it was more of a comedy this movie

[Marcosisss]

yeah i wish they would have done a backstory on her insanity

[Marcosisss]

yeah i wish they would have had like a backstory to her insanity

[anjia18]

it's PATHETIC that the "smaller" movies are better than the big blockbuster movies that came out this year. (sighs) the movie was awesome though, there is nothing scarier (to me) than real-life shit like the (SPOILER): still birth nightmare scene in the beginning DAMN!! that was some fucked up shit!

[sleepypoodle]

I miss your doggie...your reviews just aren't the same without him wriggling about and sticking his bumhole in the camera : (

How I miss your poochy's smile.

[sleepypoodle]

I must agree that the idea of choosing the socially dysfunctional, troubled, weirdo kid was completely unrealistic.

The worst line has to be the mum's about the deaf daughter "having just enough hearing to be able to LIP READ"!!! Where is the f*cking logic in that? Shoot the screenwriter, I'd have refused to say that line if I'd played the mother - it made her sound like a complete cretin!

Great film though, however I was expecting Esther to be the reincarnation of the Tzar's daughter Anastasia!

[dopemixxx]

this movie was truly creepy - even to a hardened horror movie watcher like myself. and her secret was a great surprise.

luckily i saw this movie before reading ur comments cos about 20 people just ruined the twist.

great review!

[dylanmooreZ]

i thought this movie was going to be scary but it wasnt it was actually like a good well made suspense movie.

[nickisag500]

the mom kicks the sh** out of the little girl,

or shall i say adult, and cracks her fu**ing

head and she sinks into a pond. Plus the parents have sex right in front of her!(Pass the fu**ing potatoes)Best Part!

[HeyyImKatie333]

possibly the scariest movie I've ever seen. shit is soooo creepy. but I loovvvveeeeddd it, highly recommended. the twist is crazyy.

[BETTERTHENU305899]

how did it end

[IsraAlexander]

Her step mom found that Esther is not really a 9 year old girl....that's all i can say xD the movie was amazing!!!! everyone should see it!

[sleepypoodle]

Your'e right, she was a 7 year old hermaphrodite!

[ScreaminEagle17]

Wow i saw that coming a 100 miles away and I have not even seen this movie! =)

Thats a lame twist.

[sleepypoodle]

With a load of credits of course!

[azhole8]

this movie didnt look to good to me but now i think ill see it

[bramb600]

great.

[rockpaperscissorhand]

a midget?? wow

[chain000000]

Best movie out right now.

i thought this movie was goin to be another predictable horror film. and i was completely wrong and will not underestimate movies again.

[PrimroseLove]

Why do people say thing that happens in the movie and write in big word not to read this if youhavent seen the movie? that just makes me want to read it even more. Same goes for things that are marked as spam.

[susanth0j]

this movie was really good.. and that gurl ester.. is one crazy gurl...

[watchermanchild]

a little girl ready to play russian roulete is what got me

[beccafromcali]

lmao thats awsome. i tryed to talk my brother into seeing this but he said it was just gonna be another stupid "scary" movie with a little girl in it and he has no desire to see it..........he is missin out ...freaky movie as soon as i heard 33 year old dwarf i was like FUCK NO it was scary shit

[samgunc]

Best horror movie ever. IMO

[MetBul]

Great review. How old is the girl who plays Esther? Like 12? What an awesome performance. Hopefully she didn't spend too much time getting into character...Anyways, the only bad thing about this movie is that like all great horror movies, it's going to create a wave of knockoffs that aren't going to be anywhere near as good as this.. This is one of the best 'horror' movies in some time....

[milkymoo222]

the only part that made me jump was when (THIS IS KIND OF A SPOILER OKAY!) was when the guy finally answers the phone for his wife and esther cuts the pwr. off and then when he's looking for the pwr. box thingy and it flickr.'s i jumped cause i thot it was esther.

[Recycleplease27]

WARNING DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE

the part that made me jump was when my friend squealed after Esther came out of nowhere with a knife and badteeth after Kate and Max by the frozen lake haha

[xoxkaitygirlxox]

this makes me want to go see it, but it sucks because where i live we have a small theatre and we dont get movies till a couple weeks-a month later

[PrimroseLove]

Same here. Because its a small theatre from like the 50s that only has a couple of screens. Its a bummer

[xoxkaitygirlxox]

we just have one screen =(

[PrimroseLove]

Thats more of a bummer

[DJTEVAdotCOM]

somehow the father is portrayed as an idiot...

[sachaput]

Wow! I didn't expect you guys to like this film. I had the same reaction when I saw the trailer. "I've seen the BAD SEED."

You actually make me curious enough to see it when it comes out on DVD.

[pandamonkey12]

hell yea, definitly gonna go see this movie. thanx guys you are da best. f*ck rotton tomatoes!

[PatriotIzzy]

I hate people who are picky and try to make fun of every single little thing in a movie...

Otherwise, great review. I loved it too.

[schmoesknow]

More reviews this week jd!

[lillianreptilian]

Ooh this looks like a good one! I'm not a big horror fan, but this looks the right mix of horror and thriller.

Keep up the good work you guys! (Glad you got rid of the goofy sound effects).

[thenfamous]

whats her secret

[AppleFlavoredTea]

You Really Want To Know

[thenfamous]

sure

[boognish94]

funny take on a great film

[RelicHunter321]

It's funny how this movie is panned by critics, when crap like "Drag Me to Hell", with its talking goat, and atonal mix of humor and horror, gets universal acclaim over at metacritic.

[leesanders83]

if the girl dresses like wednesday from the adams family, shouldnt that be a dead give away

[schmoesknow]

Good point.

[wastedwithin]

The guy on the right kind of looks like a dwarf himself, lol.

[usaholes182]

This movie is probably the most disturbing and fucked up movie I've ever seen. It wasn't really scary, it was just so messed up, almost to the point where I didn't like it. It's still a really good movie though.

[KillaCal]

Watched the movie twice. Last night and a few hours ago. Pretty good flick

[7gigidy]

i did the same thing. I saw it twice in the same day. awesome movie!

[foodbug]

Nice dudes. yeah it looks retarded

[q0Bored0p]

lol i like the review. I thought it was going to be a 'b' rated movie, to my surprise (the twist) easily makes it a mainsteam awesome horror flick. (reminds me of the movie Hide & Seek a little)

[pumpkinslion]

someone please upload the whole movie on here,thanks

[Theatricool]

Haha, you guys are hilarious!

I wasn't expecting this movie to be any good either. Guess I'll check it out.

[schmoesknow]

Thank you Mr. Cool, love to have you as a subscriber. Keep the comments comin!

[mrebyers]

Now you made me curious and I'll have to watch this damn movie. Great review as always, the fatal attraction bit made me laugh.

[sonofhercules195]

favorite part was when Esther made a visit to her step brothers room after he saw her leaving the tree house.LMAO

[schmoesknow]

That was a pretty crazy part. Ellis peed himself

[leesanders83]

celebrities will think twice about adopting those third world brats

[CasualDaveDotCom]

holy fuck, taking notes, that's like professional type shit, what are you thinking!?! next you'll have a title sequence, theme music and an introduction... wait, why don't you have those things?

[schmoesknow]

When we get the tv show Dave, when we get the show.....

[AstridVonAij]

My liebchens. You two are so nauseatingly cute that I want to dry hurl after watching every review. Does that make me a cougar?  Raar.

xo- Astrid

[sbr1976]

I agree with you about Orphan. I loved the ending, it had such a great twist!

[Chung85909]

wait, so was the ending a real surprise? the trailer says "you'll never guess her secret"...is the trailer a liar?

[schmoesknow]

The twist is good, if you heard it from a friend or if they told you what it was, you woudl laugh and say it sounds silly. But the director did a great job on the reveal, yes it works.

[JBirdman]

Solid Review

[schmoesknow]

Thanks Birdman, glad to have you as a subscriber.

-The Schmoes

[itsestherrr]

my name is esther..

and im not 90.

thanks .lol

[andre3000141]

lol when you said that "after the first hour its just some idiot in a hockey mask running around killing kids" made me rofl!

5/5

[schmoesknow]

Thank you Andre, glad to provide the chuckles.

Da Schmoes

[anthonyblue0]

Nice review i had the same opinion!

[schmoesknow]

Great minds....

[aragon131]

You guys should check out Roger Ebert Little Movie Glossary. its not a definition for say "Best Boy" but for things like "Anticlimactic Rescue Journey"

If a horror movie periodically cuts to a lesser character slowly making his way to the scene of the crime with the hope that he alone can save the day, he will instead get killed abruptly upon arrival. (See "The Shining," "Friday the 13th," "Misery," etc.).

[augcastillo]

Damn, I might have to give this flick a chance now - wasn't going to watch it but you made it sound very interesting...

[schmoesknow]

It was shocking, I (Kristian) was expecting it to be crap. It was a ballsy movie with some genuine scares and creep factor.

[DorkFishes]

saw it this morning, awesome movie!

[rockyhorrorrebel]

kinda looks along the same lines as "Damien".

[schmoesknow]

this is what I thought the film would be and it is very different. Many people have heard what the twist is and they think it sounds silly, I knew the twist before, thought it sounded silly but it was ballsy and it delivered.

[JustINformU]

no she's worse

[chcdude]

i'm seeing this movie tonight! i'm soooooooo exciteddd!!!

[amyclaire1]

But will it give me nightmares????

[mokeysandfriends]

no it wont

[thatcullenchick]

i`m not gonna adopt, bahaha.

[bjoker2421]

YES the movie is GOOD I was Hoping it was going to be good.

[adiotj900]

i wanna see this so bad but its R and im twelve and my parents HATE horror movies

[NikeAurrs45]

get friends LOL

[littlemamamia]

hum... you might have convinced me to see this one... I usually discount any horror movies on principle but sounds like this one might be worth it. And since I am not planning on adopting, it should be safe. Whew. Good job guys! Krisitan, be nice to Mark! Give the guy a hug!

[Cliffycliffz]

o0o I wanna see it actually, now I'm convinced haha

[MyraLaRyn]

Not a horror fan unless their not just "BAM!" so I might check this one out. During the day.... at high noon. :D

Really nice review guys, the editing and the trailer threads were really well done and plus, of course, you guys rocked it. Again. :D

[schmoesknow]

Thank you Myra, always happy to get your comments.

[Mr96tears]

Does this movie have that creepy vibe like "The Good Son."

As far as "Fatal Attraction" goes, Glenn Close is definitely worth a boiling bunny.

[schmoesknow]

This movie is The Good Son on crack

[killerrodan]

Awesome review,guys.I'm going to see this film.I love horror films.

[BladeThePervert]

Now I'm going to see this movie.

You have convinced me!

[schmoesknow]

Awesome, come back and comment after you do, would like to hear what you thought.

[NeffiLoca]

thank you guys SO much for this.

i had some serious doubts about this movie (despite the fact that Esther scared the shit out of me from the start) but your review is definitely making me consider watching it.

[schmoesknow]

She is a creepy creeppy little kid

[niquienique]

SOLD!

[PJokerman50]

I agree with Kristian about scary movies, it's not that I'm a panzy who's scared to see them.....all the time-BUT they're stupid! Practically pointless! I for one think they're all essentially the same, and if anyone's like "Aw, no they're totally different" it's onl by a few minor, hardly noticable differences- really subtle differences. But this is the best review for a horror that I've seen so far, so I might chech out. Thanks guys!

-P.J.

[schmoesknow]

Thanks PJ, you are a loyal Schmoeeee. Can you share this with your friends please?

[PJokerman50]

No problemooo.

-P.J.

[Disciple234]

YOU GUYS ROOOOCK

Subbing.

[schmoesknow]

Glad to have you Disciple. thanks for the sub!